SAGE Writing Scoring Sample: 7 Grade

SAGE Writing Scoring Sample: 7th Grade
These writing scoring sample essays were produced by grade-level students. Annotations follow
each essay explaining the score in reference to the rubric. The essays were written in response
to the SAGE Training Test prompts, and were completed within the time recommendations in
the test directions (Argument/Opinion ≈ 60 minutes; Informative/Explanatory ≈ 30 minutes).
While SAGE is not a timed test, time estimates are provided as guidance for student writers.
Training Test Argument Prompt: 6-8 Grade Band
It’s no secret that sometimes great discoveries come as a result of really big mistakes.
But are they always worth the problems they cause? Sometimes the mistakes lead to
greatness, and sometimes they lead to disaster. Are mistakes key to making discoveries?
Write an essay in which you take a position on whether or not mistakes are a key part of
discovery. Use the information presented in the passages to support your points. Make
sure to include information from all the passages in your essay.
Manage your time carefully so that you can
• Plan your essay
• Write your essay
• Revise and edit your essay
Be sure to
• Include a claim
• Address counterclaims
• Use evidence from multiple sources
Do not over rely on one source.
Your written response should be in the form of a multiparagraph essay. Spend about 60
minutes on this essay, including the time you spend reading, planning, writing, revising,
and editing.
See the Training Test to view the passage set associated with this prompt:
http://sageportal.org/
7th Grade Student Scoring Sample
Everyone knows that mistakes are lessons. Sometimes, though, mistakes give us more
than just the lessons they teach. Mistakes allow us to see the world in way we could not
previously imagine. Mistakes help us with engineering breakthroughs. Mistakes are the
cornerstone of discovery.
Mistakes do not always seem good at first. Often, you have to look further to see that
the mistake has helped us discover the unknown. This was the case with Heinrich Schliemann.
Schliemann, an adventurous treasure hunter helped search for the lost city of Troy. When
digging for the lost city, Schliemann mistakenly dug too deep; however, his digging led to the
“discovery” of the once lost city. While is irresponsibility caused some artifacts and clues to be
lost forever, his mistakes changed peoples thoughts, convincing them that the ancient city of
Troy actually existed.
Mistakes also help discover new uses for existing inventions. In the 1940s, Percy
Spencer worked for a company whose newest project was the Magnetron. One day, while
testing the Magnetron, Spencer had a chocolate bar in his pocket. He stood too close to the
Magnetron, and the chocolate melted. The mistake of melting a chocolate bar did more than
just increase the amount of laundry Spencer had to do. The mistake changed society, eventually
leading to the invention of the microwave. Without the mistake of the melted chocolate bar,
Percy may never have thought to use the magnetron for heat.
“Error is a hardy plant; it flourisheth in every soil.”
“Inventing is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”
These quotes by Martin Farquhar Tupper and Thomas Edison show that mistakes lead to
inspiration and are the beginnings of great discoveries. The mistake of melted chocolate was the
inspiration for the microwave. Although perfecting the microwave took nearly 20 years, the
invention would have been created without the idea that sprouted from the mistake.
Everybody makes mistakes, but these mistakes can be so much more than a simple
accident. Mistakes help us learn new things and open our eyes to new uses of what is already
around us. Like Samuel Smiles said, “probably he who never made a mistake never made a
discovery.”
Total Essay Score: 3 – Proficient
Explanation of Scoring:
Statement of Purpose/Focus and Organization: Proficient
The student introduces the claim that mistakes are the key to discovery, but does so in a way
that is vague and unfocused. The introduction and conclusion are focused on the main claim,
and all the paragraphs relate directly to that claim. The tone is appropriate for the grade level
and purpose. The student acknowledges counterargument and uses some transitional language
structures to connect ideas. The student predominantly uses a single sentence structure
throughout the essay.
Evidence/Elaboration: Proficient
The student provides sufficient evidence from the passages and uses details that are specific and
relevant to the claim. However, the student does not always effectively integrate quotations to
support the argument. In most cases, the student expresses ideas precisely and accurately.
Editing/Conventions: Highly Proficient
Although the student’s writing includes a few minor errors, the student consistently applies
grade-appropriate grammar and usage, demonstrating adequate command of language
conventions.