Chapter 8 Marital Relationships Over the Life Cycle © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Preview Preview © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Questions  Can I be happy if my marriage isn’t?  How do families change over time? Preview © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Questions Preview  What adjustments are necessary for newly married people?  So how much will my life change when I have a baby? © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Questions  What issues do middle-aged couples deal with?  What changes do older adults have to contend with?  What are the special challenges for widows? Preview © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Guided Learning Process        Preview 1st: 2nd: 3rd: 4th: 5th: 6th: 7th: Question Study Mark Question again Recite Check Restudy if necessary © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Text Assignment Preview © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Can I be happy if my marriage isn’t? A © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. How do families change over time?  What changes happen in a typical American family? B 1-2-3  How happy are people with their marriages at different points in life?  What special challenges do gay and lesbian families face? © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What adjustments are necessary for newly married people?  What kinds of adjustments do couples need to make?  What are the most common problems couples have in the early years of marriage? C 1-2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. So how much will my life change when I have a baby?  Just how stressful is it going to be?  How does fathering affect a man? D 1-2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What issues do middleaged couples deal with?  What can couples do about a long marriage that is no longer satisfying?  What kinds of adjustments do parents of grown children need to make? E 1-2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What changes do older adults have to contend with?  What makes life satisfying for older adults?  How happy are older adults in their marriages?  What is the effect of divorce between older adults?  How do older parents and grown children get along? F 1-2-3-4 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What are the special challenges for widows? G © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Special Sections Preview SS © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Personal Perspective: Widowhood What does it feel like to be a widow? Preview PP © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Cultural Perspectives: Individualism versus Familism What can we learn from the Mexican American culture that could strengthen our families? Preview CP © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. At Issue Today Who cares for the elderly? Preview AI © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. A Question of Policy: Long-Term Health Care How will we be able to afford the health care costs of an aging baby boom generation? Preview QP © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Preview SS END © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Marriage & Personal Happiness A  Quality of marriage has strong effect on happiness and life satisfaction  Marriages have to change with life circumstances to be happy  Partners’ flexibility and willingness to make adjustments is critical © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. A End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle B  Family life is divided into phases (stages) over the life span  Structure and function of family change with each stage © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle B1  Two children born two years apart.  Children leave at age 20.  Retirement at age 65  Men die at age 74, women at age 80.  Women spend at least 6 years as a widow. © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle – Intact Marriage B1  Married when woman is 25 and man is 27.  First child born when woman is 27 and man is 29.  When last child leaves home, woman is 48 and man is 51. © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle – Intact Marriage B1  Woman has 16 empty-nest years, man has 14, until retirement  Couple has 9 post-retirement years together © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle – Divorced and Remarried B1  More complicated  Divorce when she is 30 and he is 32 and children are 3 and 5  Women remarry 3 years later  Men remarry 4 years later  Children live with their mothers © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle – Divorced and Remarried  Women B1 are 33 when they remarry  Children are 6 and 8.  Youngest child leaves when mother is 47.  18 empty-nest years before retirement.  9 post-retirement years with new husband. © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Family Life Cycle – Divorced and Remarried  Men are 36 when they remarry  He becomes a stepfather.  Spouses are 33 w/ 2 children ages 6 and 8.  Youngest child leaves when man is 50.  15 empty-nest years before retirement  8 years together after retirement. B1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Changes in Marital Satisfaction 1. Stable/Positive  2. Stable/Neutral  3. Stable/Negative  4. Continuous decline  5. Continuous increase  6. Curvilinear-most common  B2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Changes in Marital Satisfaction  Curvilinear most common – High satisfaction at time of marriage – Lower during child-rearing years – Rebounds — youngest child beyond adolescent years B2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Gay and Lesbian Families  Similarities to other family types: – Negotiate relationships with larger community and families of origin – Decide how to meet needs Whole family  Individual members  B3 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. B End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Marital Adjustment Process G  Modifying and adapting behavior and interaction patterns  Both individual and couple changes  Goal: Marital satisfaction and success © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Marital Adjustment Tasks Emotional fulfillment & support Sexual adjustment Personal habits Gender roles Material concerns & finances Work, employment, & achievement G1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Marital Adjustment Tasks Social life, friends, and recreation Family and relatives Communication Power and decision making Handling conflict and solving problems Morals, values, and ideology G1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Adjustment depends on:  How many other issues couple has to deal with regarding: – Degree of compatibility – How many issues unresolved G1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Major Issues at Early Stages Table 8.2 = challenges couples face early Money is number one, then: Before marriage: jealousy, relatives, friends First year of marriage: communication and sex After first birth: sex, communication, relatives; jealousy and friends drop to bottom of list C2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. C End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Requirements for Adjusting to Parenthood Living with a totally dependent person is very challenging! Preparation Willingness to ask for and accept help Flexibility in adjusting life to meeting another’s needs D © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Degree of stress depends on:  How well prepared parents are  How easy child is to care for  Maturity of parents  Economic  Social D1 status support © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Being a Father  What men consider important in fathering: – Love – Being a provider – “Being there” – Being a model, teacher, moral guide D2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Being a Father D2  Affected development more than anything else  Much more positive than negative, despite challenges  Gave meaning to life © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. D End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Midlife Issues Physical changes Awareness of finite time left – personalization of mortality Introspection and self-analysis Heavy financial responsibilities Entering prime of life’s fulfillment E © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Adjustments during Middle Adulthood – Marital satisfaction lowest – school age/teenage children – Time for revitalization – Sandwich generation – Postparental years  Empty nest  No so empty nest — boomerang kids E1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. E End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Late Adulthood Means Maintaining: –Health and activity level –Adequate income –Fulfilling work roles –Acceptable living conditions –Identity and social status F1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Late Adulthood Means Maintaining: -Companionship and friendship -Leisure time -New familial roles -Acceptance of one’s life and achieving ego integrity F1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Adjustments during Late Adulthood Marital satisfaction usually increased — second honeymoon  Divorce more difficult when older  – Negatively affects parent-adult child relationship  F 2-3-4 Maintaining parent-adult child relations is important © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. F End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Life Expectancies G  Men die at 74  Women die at 80  Most women will be widows  Widows exceed widowers — at all ages  Spouse’s death — one of most traumatic events © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Widowhood  Widows need more family contact  Problems – Major loneliness – Home and car repair – Finances – Role changes G © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. G End © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.