1. sports
2. rugby

The
Hangzhou Harlequin
Hymn Book
Songs for Winners & Sinners
“Harlequins, say your prayers” – Kaptain Kongo
The Harlequin Prayer….
Harlequins, Say your prayers…
Hail Hangzhou
Full of Lakes
Smack a Bitch
In the Face
In Ancient times….
The Harlequins of Old announced….
That ALL good
Rugby songs
Shall end
with …..
(Trumpet sound)
DaDaDaDa!!
‘TITS AND ASS!!’
And so.. long may this tradition live on..
“We're called the Harlequins“
To the tune of House of the Rising Sun
• There is a team In Hangzhou.
• We're called the Harlequins,
• And we've been the ruin, of
many a poor team,
• We train, we play, we Win
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We came from many nations,
And trained in Hangzhou's heat,
We may not all be experts,
But still you’ll taste defeat
• Now the Only things our players
need,
• Are our kitbags and some beer,
• But if we're feeling flirty,
• Then keep your girlfriends near.
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So Xiamen, hide your women,
Tell them not to go outside
Hide them away, at least for today,
‘Cause they’re sure to want a ride.
(queue vulgar thrust)
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We'll play you all at rugby,
And take your girls to bed,
We came here dressed as outlaws,
And still they’ll give us head.
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Then we'll all go back to Hangzhou,
No matter who has won
We came, we saw, we conquered (oh),
And rode into the sun.
"Wanted Dead Or Alive“
It's always the same, only the players change.
Everyday it seems we're wasting away
But in this Xiamen place
where the weather ain’t so cold
The Harlequins unite!, the new and the old.
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[Chorus:]
I'm a Harlequin, on your women I shall ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
There shall be no sleep, No we won’t sleep for days
And if anybody does, Congo slaps em in the face
You might think by how we play
That we came here for the drink
But we came here for the women too,
and we’re gonna sink some pink.
by
Bon Jovi
[Chorus:]
I'm a Harlequin, on your women I shall ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
We walk these streets, looking out for ass and
rack
And everybody knows… Black Mike got back
We’re from everywhere, and We’re standing
tall
We've seen a million faces and either rucked
or fucked them all!
I'm a Harlequin, on your women I shall ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
I'm a Harlequin, The best fuckin rugby side
I'm wanted dead or alive
And I ride, dead or alive
Ruck and drive, dead or alive
Dead or alive [x4]
“time of my life“ Green day – time of your life
• Another tequila, another Jagerbomb
They’ll make me shoot the boot or maybe the condom.
But I’ll make the best of this test, and won't ask why
And I’ll want to puke, but I’ll just smile and say I’m fine.
I find you all despicable, I think I’m going to cry.
Its the worst fucking time of my life.
Those naked photographs, best not end up online
Hangovers and poor health, you call this a good time?
Sluts, Booze and STD’s and sex in the train isle.
Rude songs, Cruel jokes, Balls out, my god - you are so vile!
I find you all despicable, I think I’m going to cry.
Its the worst fucking time of my life. (X3)
“Take Me Home“ to tune of country road
• Almost Heaven, Western Zhejiang
• Baochu Mountain, Qiantang river
• Girls are hot there, make em all say
'prease'
• Hotter than your sister blowin' on her
knees
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Hangzhou! Take me home!
To the place, I belong!
Best in Zhejiang,
Harlequins,
Take me home, To Hangzhou!
• Playing rugby, We will smash you
• Then fuck your ladies on the shores of
Gulanyu.
• Pink's our Colour, that is not a lie,
• If you think it's funny we'll sock you in
the eye.
Hangzhou! Take me home!
To the place, I belong!
Best in Zhejiang,
Harlequins,
Take me home, To Hangzhou!
I hear Xiamen after our game and
they're a bleedin'
The West lake reminds me of my
home far away,
And shaggin' all they're girls i get a
feelin' that I should have come home
yesterday... Yesterdayyyyy!
Hangzhou! Take me home!
To the place, I belong!
Best in Zhejiang,
Harlequins,
Take me home, To Hangzhou!
Take me home, To Hangzhou!
“We don’t play“
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We don't play for Adoration..
We don't play for Victory..
We just play for Aggravation..
Mighty Hangzhou Harlequins We..
Balls to Shanghai!...Balls to Shanghai!....
We Are Hangzhou R.F.C!!
We are Hangzhou R.F.C!!
“The Hangzhou Haka“
• Eight Bite Suck Fuck Gobble Nibble Chew.
• Titty-Bottom. Hair-Pie. Mother-Fucking Screw.
• Rat Shit - Cat Shit - Dirty Rotten Twat.
• 69 Arseholes Tied in a knot!
• Lizard! – Shit! - Fuck !!!!
“We’re the Harlequins“
• Oh we're the Harlequins
A fighting fury
We're the Harlequins
In any weather - you will see us with a grin
Risking head and skin
If we're behind then never mind
We'll fight and fight and win
For we're the Harlequins
We never weaken till the final whistles blows
Like the Harlequins of old
We're strong and we're bold
For we're the harle (the pink and the blue)
We're the Harlequins
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“Perverts of the nation“
to the tune of
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U.S Marine Corp Anthem
We have a reputation.. For seducing little boys.
and for raping old aged pensioners.
and for stealing kiddies toys .
we are the perverts of the nation
we are the worst you’ve ever seen
we are a shower of foul mouthed bastards .
we are the Hangzhou rugby team!
“Chicago“
• Everyone: OH I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO, AT AN OLD
DEPARTMENT STORE, I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO, I DON'T WORK
ANYMORE
• Speaker: One day.. A lady came into the store asking for…(eg: A
Chicken! )
• Everyone: (A CHICKEN?)… FROM THE STORE?
• Speaker: (A Chicken) ..she wanted, (My Cock)..she got!
• Everyone: OHHHHHHH I DON'T WORK ANYMORE!
• OH I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO AT AN OLD DEPARTMENT STORE,
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO, I DON'T WORK ANYMORE
Other "Inappropriate" Reponses:
• Carpet she wanted, shag she got. Nail she wanted, screw she got.
Fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got. Meat she wanted, my
sausage she got. Helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got.
Camel she wanted, a hump she got. A Kit Kat she wanted, four
fingers she got. Fuck she wanted, fuck she got.
“I wish that all the ladies“
• Leader: I wish that all the ladies.
Group: I wish that all the ladies.
• Leader: Were bells in a tower.
Group: Were bells in a tower.
• Leader: And I was the bell boy.
Group: And I was the bell boy.
Leader: I'd Bang'em every hour.
Group: I'd Bang'em every hour.
• Chorus
Leader: Singing HAY BOP A LOO
BOP
Group: HAY BOP A LOO BOP
Leader: HAY BOP A LOO BOP
Group: HAY BOP A LOO BOP
and so on...
I wish that all the ladies
• Were buns in the oven.
• And I was the baker
I’d cream’em by the dozen.
and so on...
Were pies on a shelf.
And I was the baker
I’d eat them all myself.
Were statues of Venus.
‘Cause then they’d have no arms.
To push away my penis.
Were holes in the road.
And I was a dumptruck.
I’d fill’em with my load.
Were sheep grazing grass.
And I was a Welshman.
I’d shag’em up the Ass.
Were bricks in a pile.
And I was a Builder
I’d lay’em all in style.
Were jockeys in a race
And I was the saddle
They’d sit upon my face.
“Alouette“
• Everyone: Alouette, Gentille Alouette.
Alouette, Gentille Plumerai.....
• Speaker: Oh I love her....Curly Top
• Everyone: HER CURLY TOP!
• Speaker: She’s Aloette!!
• Everyone: SHES ALOETTE!!!
Everyone: Alouette, gentille Alouette.
Alouette, gentille plumerai.....
Speaker: Oh I love her Big Fore-Head
Everyone: HER BIG FORE-HEAD!!
Speaker: AND Curly Top!
Everyone: AND CURLY TOP!!
Speaker: Shes Aloette!!!
Everyone: SHES ALOETTE!!!!
And So on with ..Mono-Brow..Two Crossed eyes….Broken
Nose..Moustache..HairLip..Two Front Teeth..Double Chin...BIG FAT TITS!..
“The Days of the week“
• Speaker: Today is Monday!!
• Everyone: TODAY IS MONDAY!
• Speaker: Monday is a WORKING day
• Everyone: MONDAY IS A WORKING DAY!!!
Speaker : So are you feeling good today?!
Everyone: YOU BET YOUR ASS WE ARE!!
( A silly dance to DaDa dadadadadada. DaDA dadadadadada
Speaker: Today is Tuesday!!
Everyone: TODAY IS TUESDAY!!!
Speaker: Tuesdays a (licking)MMMmmmm day!!!
Everyone: TUESDAYS A (Licking)MMMMmm day!!
Speaker: Mondays a Working day
Everyone: MONDAYS A WORKING DAY.
Speaker: So are you feeling good today?!
Everyone: YOU BET YOUR ASS WE ARE!!
And So on with ..Wednesday is a Wanking day ..Thursday is a Drinking
Day..BOTTOMS UP!...Friday is a Fucking Day… Saturdays a rugby Day!!..Sunday is a
holy day..BUT SATURDAYS A RUGBY DAY!!
“Father Abraham“
• Everyone: FAAther Abraham! Had seven Sons..
• Seven Sons had father Abraham
• And they never laughed. And they never cried. And all they did was go like
this…
Speaker: And to my left!! ( All black HAKA type slap of Left elbow)
• Everyone: AND TO MY LEFT!! (All black HAKA type slap of Left elbow)
• Everyone: (moving left arm in and out from chest) FAAther Abraham! Had
seven Sons..
• Seven Sons had father Abraham
• And they never laughed. And they never cried. And all they did was go like
this…
• Speaker: And to my left, and to my RIGHT! (All black HAKA type slap of Right
elbow)
• Everyone: AND TO MY RIGHT!! (All black HAKA type slap of Right elbow)
• Everyone: (moving left arm and right arm in and out from chest) FAAther
Abraham! Had seven Sons..
• Seven Sons had father Abraham
• And they never laughed. An they never cried. And all they did was go like this…
And So on with ..Left Leg stamp..Right Leg stamp..Lying on backs legs in and
out..tops off, arms to the sky…..trousers down, hips thrust.
“If I were the marrying kind“
• I were the marrying kind
Which thank the lord I'm not, sir
the kind of rugger I would wed
would be a rugby .....
• Example: (team points to the hooker.
Hooker puts beer on top of head)
HOOKER: Hooker sir!
• GROUP: Why sir?
• HOOKER:
'cause I'd swipe balls, and you'd swipe balls
we'd all swipe balls together
we'd be alright in the middle of the night
swiping balls together
• GROUP:
If I were the marrying kind
Which thank the lord I'm not, sir
the kind of rugger I would wed
would be a rugby .....
Other verses:
Prop: Support a hooker
2nd Row : grab Crotch, sniff Butt
Flanker: get off quick
No. 8: hold until you come
Scrumhalf: put it in, grab balls
Flyhalf: whip it out, call shots
Centers: look for the hole, pass out
Wing: go hard, never get it, come too fast.
Fullback: kick balls, get fucked, find touch
Any Forward: get stripped
Any Back: get laid
Scrum: go down
Rule Book: get violated
Shorts: go up your butt
Halftime Orange: get sucked
Mouthguard: get licked, get sucked
Spectator: get to watch
Spectator on a rainy day: come in rubber, be wet
Spectator on a sunny day: come again
Goal Posts: get split, stand erect
Cleats: get screwed
Groundskeeper: trim bush, do lines
Whistle: get blown
Boot:: come in boxes, get tied up
Ball: strapped in leather, get touched, get pumped
Pitch: grow weed, be hard
Team from far away: come for hours
Team on a bus: get off
Drunk Team: get fucked up
“Yogi Bear“
• I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, YOGI,
I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
• YOGI, YOGI BEAR,
YOGI, YOGI BEAR,
I KNOW A BEAR THAT YOU ALL KNOW,
YOGI, YOGI BEAR.
• Yogi's got a little "friend,"
Booboo, BOOBOO,
Yogi's got a little "friend,"
Booboo, Booboo Bear
• BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR,
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR,
YOGI'S GOT A LITTLE "FRIEND,"
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR
Other verses:
Yogi's got a "girlfriend,"
Suzi, SUZI
Suzi, Suzi Bear.
Yogi's got a cheesy knob, cammum, CAMMUM
Cammum, Camembert.
Booboo likes it on the fridge, polar, POLAR
Polar, polar bear.
Suzi hates it up the ass, something, SOMETHING
Something she can't bear.
Yogi's dick is long and green, cucum, CUCUM
Cucum, cucumber.
Yogi likes to shave his pubes, grizzly, GRIZZLY
Grizzly, grizzly bare.
Booboo’s boyfriend has no teeth, gummy,
GUMMY
Gummy, gummy bear
“…..Is a horses ass..“
• (Persons name (Persons name)
(Persons name)..Is a horses Ass
• He looks like a horses ass.
• He smells like a horses ass.
• He is a horses ass.
• (Repeat til drink is drunk!!).
“Born so beautiful“
• Why was he born so beautiful
Why was he born at all
He’s no fucking use to anyone
He’s no fucking use at all
• He should be publicly pissed on,
He should be publicly shot (bang, bang),
He should be tied to a urinal,
And left to fester and rot.
So, DRINK motherfucker, DRINK,
• DRINK, motherfucker DRINK,
• DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK
• (chant lasts until he finishes)
“Shoot the Boot/Shoot the Condom“
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SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
SHOOT THE BOOT
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SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM
SHOOT THE CONDOM