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TOMNET Telegraph
‘ older men supporting older men’
November 2014
223 Hume St Toowoomba QLD 4350 | (07) 4638 9080 | [email protected] | www.tomnet.org.au
F
or men living in care facilities, the
opportunity to gather for a
monthly meeting in the facility
with older men including TOMNET
Volunteers is a welcome inclusion in
their lives. Bonding takes place among
the facility men and friendships with the
TOMNET Volunteers are formed. This
gives all men involved a sense of
belonging and even a purpose for living.
The extent of loneliness and isolation
men experience in relation to their
physical, mental, emotional and social
health, is significant. This is equally a
matter of importance for those men in an
aged care facility who have people largely women - and activity all around them but nonetheless feel lonely and isolated in
the proverbial crowd.
The benefits of visiting men in aged care facilities include:
 Increased social opportunities for lonely or isolated men
 Opportunity to share personal stories and hear from others
 Achievement of new goals and motivation to get up in the morning and be active.
Those attending the men’s group are
generally similar to many Members of
TOMNET who are either in care
themselves or living in the wider
community.
These
men
possess
remarkable knowledge and wisdom
gained
over
the
years.
Every man has a unique story and it is
the man behind the story who shares it
with others, who has something to offer
and leaves a legacy for those who follow.
Source: Forming Men’s Groups in
Residential Care Facilities 2012
Page 2
Men at Work Group
with Lloyd Enkelmann
T
OMNET has been described as a “community of conversation”. It is where men are able to
talk – and listen and learn. There are various meetings, social activities where members
can find a niche. There are also “Men at Work” (MAW) groups where personal and other
issues can be discussed in a confidential, safe and nonjudgmental environment. This is difficult to
find in the wider community.
The foundation membership of eight men in 2001 was actually a prototype of our current MAW
groups. The groups are being regenerated as a high priority more recently in TOMNET as a
reason for being. While social activities and having fellowship with mates at meetings are
important, there remains a need for men to openly share their life experiences, benefiting others
as well as themselves. Everyone has a story, for better or for worse. We’re all in the same boat;
and pulling together, not rowing upstream river alone can make a huge difference to everyone
concerned.
So why are MAW groups so important? They provide opportunity for men to identify issues, find
expression of thoughts and feelings and appreciate links between our emotions and intellect.
Rather than “reinvent the wheel” I have borrowed a list of advantages of men-only groups from
Dr Lawrence Peltz:








Support, caring and friendship among men.
Facing and working on restrictive and destructive
aspects of the male gender role (e.g challenging the
idea that emotional sensitivity equals weakness).
Elimination of distraction and competition to
impress women.
Opportunity to learn supportive roles usually filled
by women in mixed groups.
Greater ease in discussing difficult issues (e.g men’s
health, property settlement etc.)
Attention to unfinished business with our fathers
and contemplation of the ways we have related to
significant men in our lives.
Attention to our roles as fathers (and grandfathers)
Working through divorce (and separation) issues.
Other advantages include: examination of masculine-associated characteristics, such as
competitiveness, aggressiveness and independence. Greater ease in exposing vulnerability.
(Sufficient male support allows men to address issues of dependency, doubts and worries about
innermost feelings, fears about individuation, separation from significant others and similar
issues). Safe environment to explore issues of psychological abandonment and rejection. Male
friendship, the development of non-sexual intimacy between members (meaningful mateship).
I have said on many occasions that MAW does not invite you to take up your pick and shovel
from the shed. It is an opportunity to work with others to establish and maintain better health
and well-being for yourself and other men.
Next Meeting: 14th November
St Bartholomew’s Church - in the grounds of Symes Thorpe Nursing Home
(entry off Stenner St) from 10 a.m. - 11.30 a.m.
All discussions are strictly confidential.
LOURDES
INJUNE
PITTSWORTH
FREEDOM
SALEM
‘Just for Older Blokes’ Workshop
T
OMNET is hosting a 'Just For Older Blokes' Workshop
on the 21st of November, featuring local guest
speakers discussing topics relevant for older blokes
and also industry representatives. A delicious catered lunch
will
be
provided
at
a
fantastic
venue.
Organiser Gary James explains: "After the success of last
year’s workshop, we were approached by several local
organisations to conduct another workshop. How could we
say no? The workshop will feature several local organisations as well as Burstows’ Liz
Bamford, who will discuss the stages of grief and loss".
This free workshop will be conducted at the DPI Conference Centre on Tor St,
starting at 8.30 a.m. and finishing at 1.00 p.m. with lunch provided for attendees.
Places are limited and are filling up very fast, so if you are considering attending,
contact Gary at the TOMNET Centre on 4638 9080.
21st November, 203 Tor Street (DPI), 8:30am – 1:00pm,
catered lunch provided
Out and About with TOMNET Members
Page 3
2014
2014
12 noon
following the AGM
11.00 a.m. - 11:45 a.m.
President’s Room
City Golf Club, South St
Members and their
partners are welcome
$10.00 per person
(NO refunds after 3rd December)
Please RSVP and pay for
your seat/s before
Monday 1st December
by contacting
the TOMNET Centre
07 4638 9080
[email protected]
Page 5
NUBEENA
PITTSWORTH
CROWS NEST
Men at Work
14th November
The Men at Work group
helps men to deal with
unresolved life issues.
St Bartholomew’s Church
in the grounds of
Symes Thorpe Nursing Home
(entry off Stenner St)
from 10 a.m. - 11.30 a.m.
All conversations are
strictly confidential.
There is no cost.
Blokes in Aged Care facilities
welcome TOMNET visitors
GOONDIWINDI
WESTHAVEN
TOMNET ON WEDNESDAYS
St. Paul’s Lutheran
Church Hall,
Cnr Phillip & James Streets
1.30 p.m. until 3.30 p.m.
Light Afternoon Tea provided.
5th November
100th Anniversary WW1
Rod Mc Lean
12th November
Music Day
TOMNET Minstrels
19th November
Have a Chat
26th November
Member organised
3rd December
Aged Care visits are a worthwhile
opportunity to provide friendship
and conversation with men living in
aged care facilities.
Importance of Quick Action
Consider donating two hours of your
time each month; your visit will be
appreciated.
Quick Action is required in any
emergency situation.
Call the TOMNET Centre
to join a team.
Dates (November & December)
Member organised
TOMNET is committed to ensuring
the safety of ALL members whilst
they are participating in activities.
The procedure for ALL Emergencies:
Westhaven:
High Care
Residential
December - no Meeting
Salem
Monday 1st (11.30 am) (Dec)
Nubeena
Tuesday 11th (10 am) (Nov)
Freedom
Wednesday 19th (10 am) (Nov)
Yukana
Monday 24th (2.00 pm) (Nov)
Lourdes
Thursday 27th (11.30 am) (Nov)
Assess the situation
Call an Ambulance
000
Follow all instructions from
the operator.
Do not move person until
instructed by ambulance.
NUBEENA
DALBY
CROWS NEST
MITCHELL
WESTHAVEN
Page 6
TOMNET interest groups
Cards
Railway Group
Cards are played on Mondays and
Wednesdays from 9 a.m. at the TOMNET
Centre. Play gets underway when there are
enough players - usually around 9 a.m.
Regular players love to teach new members if
inexperienced. Just turn up to play.
On the 2nd Monday of each month the
Railway Group meet at the TOMNET
Centre. Discussions revolve around life on
the railways and current railway news.
Please contact Noel Hannant for more
information on 4633 0052.
Art Group
TOMNET Minstrels
There are many reasons for members to be
involved with the Art group - friendship,
support and to learn a new skill or improve
an existing one. The Art group are having a
break at the moment, stay tuned for more
information in future newsletters.
The TOMNET Minstrels meet every 2nd
Tuesday. Contact Perry Goebel or Frank
Mann for more information. Frank can be
contacted at the TOMNET Centre on
Monday and Tuesday mornings.
Chess
Photography
Chess matches are available for members
on Wednesday mornings. From learners to
chess masters you will find a game here. No
equipment is needed, just turn up and play.
The photography group will meet again on
the 14th November from 12.30 p.m. Bring
your own gear and talk shutters, lenses,
favourite subjects and techniques. The
group has commenced field trips, so please
contact Klaus Merretz for more information
on 0409 267 357.
Chew The Fat
Every Thursday morning from 8.30 a.m. members start arriving to setup the TOMNET
Centre for the “Chew the Fat” session. Members share life stories, a few jokes, and have
serious and not so serious conversations on topics ranging from their younger years,
current challenges and anything in-between. Each week, around 30 blokes support each
other in many different ways including talking, friendship, sharing and listening. Why not
join the “Chew the Fat” crew each Thursday from 8.30 a.m. at the TOMNET Centre, all are
welcome.
Tomnet Health Register – dob in a mate
A register is pinned to the TOMNET Centre noticeboard for Members to write the
details of any Members they know who are sick or in need of a phone call or visit.
If you know of a Member who is sick or not travelling so well, ask if he wants his
details put on the noticeboard to be contacted by other concerned Members.
Please Note: Members must agree to have their information shared to be
placed on the board.
Page 7
Special General Meeting Decisions
O
n October 8th 2014, 52 Members attended the special general meeting held to discuss
constitutional changes.
The changes considered were:
1. The Executive of the Management Committee to be elected for a four year team, an ordinary
Member will be elected for a two year term. All positions to be declared vacant at the AGM,
therefore all Members will be receiving ballot papers in the mail from 7th November 2014.
2. The need to renew your membership annually to be abolished. Once you become a member,
you will remain a member for life, unless you resign.
These changes were voted in unanimously, and create positive change for the organisation
moving forward.
FREE Bowel Cancer Awareness and
Ostomy Lifestyle Day
When:
Where:
What:




9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
City Golf Club Toowoomba, 254 South St
The FREE event will feature information and talks on:
Bowel Health and prevention
You and your family
Local and national support
Screening and diagnosis
Don’t miss out on seeing Bowel Cancer Australia’s GIANT inflatable bowel and
information stands throughout the day!
Contact Claire Condon, Health Promotion Officer for the Queensland Bowel Cancer
Screening Program on 4616 6848 for more information.
Darling Downs Hospital and Health Service
BUNDABERG
PITTSWORTH
CROWS NEST
GOONDIWINDI
MILLMERRAN
Page 8
Laurie’s Larfs
Yes, I know a Pun is the lowest form of humour, but some of these are quite clever.....
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel
my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!'
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and
with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him....... A super-calloused fragile
mystic hexed by halitosis. That is SO good, but I bet you're groaning!!!
Da Bee Man
Our Solar Panel Story
R
ecently we decided to install solar panels at our
residence. We have been conned and I thought I’d
advise you, so that, if you are thinking of installing
solar, you won’t be taken for a ride as we were.
In our initial investigations we were told by two companies
that we needed a 3 kw system with 12 panels to cover our
current account. After some investigation and consideration
we decided, upon the company advice, on installing a 5 kw
system with 16 panels to cover for any increase in our account.
Such a system cost us a little less than $10,000.00. Well we’ve
received our first account from Ergon Energy and to say we
were shocked was an understatement.
Out of a total account of $416.17 we received a solar rebate of
$77.07 leaving an amount or $339.09 owing. We have taken
this up with many avenues and despite many explanations and
excuses, the upshot is “don’t rock the boat - tuff luck – just pay
it”. Looking at the account we would need some 80 odd panels
on our roof just to break even. Interestingly enough Ergon
Energy told us that installation of solar on homes would never
cover the electricity used, at best, would only reduce the
amount payable. Ergon Energy charge us 25-26 cents per kw
and pay us 8-9 cents per kw for the electricity put back into the
grid.
So if you are considering installing solar, please think carefully
and go into it with your eyes open. Should anyone wish to
discuss this any further, I can be contacted on 07 46350236.
Alan Yorkston – The opinions and advice expressed herein are
my own personal opinion and advice and does not, in any way,
reflect the opinion of TOMNET nor any other of its members.
L
ike to try some non-processed local
honey?
Terry Martin has a mate called “The Bee Man”
who keeps bees and sells their honey. Terry is a
regular at the TOMNET on WEDNESDAY
meeting where you can find him if you would
like to try some of this local honey.
The Bee Man has agreed to donate some of the
profits from the sale of his honey to TOMNET.
Contact Terry at the Wednesday meeting to try
some delicious local honey and help TOMNET.
LOURDES
SALEM
WESTHAVEN
FREEDOM
YUKANA
Page 9
Volunteer Community Care Programs
V
olunteers are integral to the work TOMNET does within the community. TOMNET
Volunteers participate in several core programs which have been reviewed and reenergized to further enhance the great work the Organisation performs.
These programs are outlined below and collectively our Volunteers contributed over 6352
formal hours of Volunteering last year.
Core Community Care Programs: Members and peer support groups have a commitment to older
men supporting older men. Therefore they adopt one of the following community care programs in
their local communities, and adapt it to their needs.
1. Residential Aged Care Programs: a community care service that provides emotional and social
peer support to male residents in aged care facilities, assisting them to deal with transition,
loneliness, grief, and providing a sense of belonging.
2. Home Visitation Program: peer support Volunteers provide home visitation to isolated, at risk
older men and carers in their homes with the aim of reducing social isolation, depression and
risk of suicide.
3. Mentoring Program: trained mentors support and enhance the lives of disadvantaged youth,
through the sharing of their skills, capacity and life experience of older men.
4. Peer Group Support Program: Peers Support Volunteers provide emotional and social support to
new and established peer groups (e.g. rural, remote or urban groups) and for existing groups to
assist ‘satellite’ groups to establish.
5. Member Support Program: Trained peer support Volunteers provide telephone support for
members who are isolated and unable to attend regular TOMNET activities.
To find out more information regarding the Core Community Care Programs please
contact the TOMNET Centre on 4638 9080.
December/January Dates
2014 Final Meeting Dates
2015 Meeting Dates
December Dates
January Dates
TOMNET on Wednesday: 10th December,
2014 Christmas Party at City Golf Club
Chew the Fat: 11th December, 2014
TOMNET on Wednesday: 14th January, 2015
Welcome to 2015 Barbecue
Chew the Fat: 15th January, 2015
TOMNET Centre:
The TOMNET Centre will be closed for a Christmas
break from Wednesday 24th December, re-opening
on Monday 5th January 2015.
TOMNET Centre:
There are no TOMNET Centre activities planned
for the week 5th January to 12th January, 2015.
PRINT
POST
PP100004/877
Postal Address:
PO Box 7801
Toowoomba South Qld, 4350
Phone:
07 4638 9080
Fax:
07 4638 9084
E-Mail:
[email protected]
Website:
www.tomnet.org.au
www.oldermenhiddenhardships.com
The 28 min DVD features the lives of six
older blokes sharing their stories of
hardship and personal struggles in an
effort to highlight older men’s issues.
To order your copy of the DVD, please
contact the TOMNET Centre on (07)
4638 9080. Price: Members $5;
Non-Members $10
POSTAGE
PAID
AUSTRALIA
Winner, Best Documentary, Qld Multimedia Awards
223 Hume St Toowoomba QLD 4350 | (07) 4638 9080 | [email protected] | www.tomnet.org.au
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www.tomnet.org.au