Where tech and pleasure come together
’m excited. Very excited. I’ve discovered
some brand-new sex toys that are
keeping me locked in my bedroom for
hours! I’ve always had lots of toys and
I frequently experiment with vibrators, anal
plugs, nipple teasers, cock rings and various
other things, but I’ve never come across
something so technologically stimulating.
In the past, most of the toys I used were
mainly for solo pleasure—they would come
in very handy when I had no fuck buddies
The vibrator buzzes
in time to the beat of
the music playing!
on the go (which was a rarity). However, I’ve
discovered these latest toys are good for the
guys as well, because they get to play with
gadgets. Boys love their toys...
The first one I tried was the OhMiBod
Boditalk Escort vibrator. It’s shaped like a
big pink bullet and rubs gently against the
clitoris...in fact, I just took a break from
writing this article to use it again; it’s very
addictive! It’s not for insertion—I just let it
vibrate against my wet lips, changing the
speed to bring on my orgasm.
But that’s not all. If someone rings my
mobile, it automatically starts vibrating! It
feels amazing, and also adds a comedy value.
When I asked my current lover to call me
on his way over to my house, hearing my
moans down the phone made him even more
aroused. I was already wet and ready to go
when he arrived, and we had some great sex!
After finding that technology and pleasure
go brilliantly together, I got my hands on
another vibrator from the same company, the
Naughtibod. This one is made for penetration,
but because the texture is so soft, it feels
good to stroke it on my clit as well. So I rub
it against my G-spot for a while, then pull
it out and massage my love button with the
wet tip. I might take another break from
writing to use it again...
Although the Naughtibod is a great dildo
in its own right, it gets better. Here is the
tech part: you can attach your iPod or any
other MP3 player to the vibrator and it buzzes
in time to the music that’s playing! Genius.
This is where the guys can have their fun. My
fuck buddy decided to start off with a slow,
sensual R’n’B song, and gradually built me
up to a hard house track so the device was
buzzing quicker and quicker, leading me to
an intense orgasm—again. In addition, the
louder the volume, the more powerful the
vibration, so you can mix it up with a slower
beat but intense vibrations. Get creative!
I found letting the man take control of
how and when I was able to climax really
arousing. I strongly
recommend both
gizmos, or any other
Go sex-toy
products in the
shopping with
OhMiBod range.
your girl. It’s a
I just need to make
fun outing that
sure my mum doesn’t
will get you
set off the Boditalk
both horny!
vibrator when she calls!
If you have a question for Billie, write to: Australian Penthouse, PO Box 4455,
St Leonards, NSW 1590, or email: [email protected]
Australian Penthouse
invites author and
relationships counsellor
Dr Charmaine Saunders
to give us advice on
open marriages…
pen marriage. It sounds rather
wonderful, doesn’t it? We’d all
like to think our marriages are
‘open’. After all, it’s in marriage
that we’re supposed to achieve our highest
levels of true intimacy, both in and out of
the bedroom. Freedom is important in any
long-term relationship as it allows people
to emotionally breathe and be who they
really are. When we apply it specifically to
the sexual area, it means the two partners
agree to take other lovers, see other people,
and enjoy flexibility within the concept of
monogamy. The degree to which the rules
are relaxed depends on the couple involved.
Monogamy usually entails one-to-one
fidelity, but those who choose to have an
open marriage are not being unfaithful as
such because it’s all out and agreed upon,
without deceit or secrecy.
Would everybody enjoy it? Definitely
not. Do those who engage in it love it?
Generally, yes. Why do couples want it?
Are these people weird, alternative, sex
addicts, eccentric? Actually, swingers, B&D
practitioners and couples in open marriages
are all ordinary, everyday people who just
happen to like having sex with a bit of
extra flavour.
So, what are the pitfalls?
It requires a very strong couple to truly
make an open marriage work. When I say
‘strong’, I mean individually mature, sexually
confident and emotionally secure. Not many
of us can say we’re all of these all of the
time. That’s why open marriage often fails,
or can end an otherwise-healthy relationship.
Perhaps it’s simply because it’s an ideal to
imagine that we can interchange partners as
we might our clothes and never experience
doubt, jealousy or confusion.
Jealousy is the most common trap. When
partners initially agree on open marriage,
they might very well decide that there’ll be
no hang-ups about sharing themselves with
other people, but human nature being what
it is, doubts and insecurities can creep in,
even between the most secure couples.
Issues such as sexual performance, body
beauty, size of genitals and the levels of
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pleasure achieved can come under intense
scrutiny and comparison.
Another possible hazard is emotions. How
does one stop themselves from falling in love
with a person outside the marriage—especially
if there is continued sexual contact with one
particular lover? The answer is that no-one can.
There is an inherent risk in having regular sex
outside of your marriage, and as long as it’s
accepted, open arrangements can proceed with
trust, loyalty and confidence. If inappropriate
emotions intrude, it’s important that they are
talked about honestly. So, how can couples
engage in an open marriage positively?
As boring and obvious as it sounds, the best
way to minimise damage is to set up clear
ground rules. These must be agreed upon
by both parties, or they simply will not work.
Factors that need clarification include: time
allocation; what is and isn’t allowed in the
outside sexual activity, e.g. some don’t allow
mouth kissing; whether personal friends will
be involved; agreement that the primary union
will come first; what will happen if feelings
develop for an outsider; the importance of
communication and honesty; and whether the
couple should discuss the outside relationship.
It’s very important to acknowledge fantasy in
open-marriage arrangements.
Often it’s not the physical act of sex that’s
the main attraction, but the excitement, variety
and potential for experimentation. The problem
with fantasy is that it’s addictive, and the need
for it can take over a person’s mind and body,
destroying relationships.
in the gaps ourselves with speculation and,
often negative, assumptions. All relationships
must foster positive communication, but doubly
so those in which sex is not confined to the
immediate partners. Any number of issues may
arise, but if they’re addressed immediately and
resolved, they need not become problems.
Apart from the apparent pleasures of an
open marriage, there are actual benefits. The
Couples in open marriages are ordinary, everyday
people who just happen to like sex with extra flavour
I always say that when we marry, we
commit to one another, but we’re not dead;
we will still find other people attractive and
should never feel guilty about that. For most of
us, we keep the fantasy in our minds, where it
rightly belongs. For more experiential people,
this isn’t enough; they need to live it out, and
that’s where the potential for complication lies.
Just recognising this will reduce the risk.
This is the most sensitive area of all. If the lines
of communication are not left wide-open, trust
begins to erode.
When someone stops talking to us, we fill
opportunity for variety and experimentation
removes the need for illicit sexual relations
outside of the marriage, which fosters honesty
between partners. If people are satisfied
individually, the marriage has a better chance
for success in the long term. Ultimate trust is
required, and it also encourages partners to
communicate more openly.
If you are considering open marriage, be
honest with yourself about your motives. If
your agenda is simply to get a lot of sex with
different partners, your relationship will have
a very short shelf life. If you’re still keen to try
it, remember this: in open marriage, the most
open things must be hearts, minds and voices.
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