Couple at odds over race DEAR ABBY

The Post-Star, Glens Falls, N.Y.
ARTS | LIFE
u
Friday, February 7, 2014 — D5
u
Show follows NBA journey
DEAR ABBY
‘Summer Dreams’
profiles basketball
players on CBS
HOLIDAY MATHIS
By MICHAEL MAROT
Couple
at odds
over race
DEAR ABBY: I have been
dating someone for about
six months. We fell in love
very quickly and spend
almost every second
together.
Our relationship has hit
a rough patch ever since he
found out I dated AfricanAmerican men. He can’t
seem to get over it, but he
keeps saying he wants to
try to make it work. He
says cruel things sometimes when he gets mad,
and it seems to be on his
mind constantly. I don’t
know what to do or how
to make this better. We fell
in love, but it seems to be
spoiled because of my past.
This isn’t a big deal to
me. I have always dated
people I thought were good
people. He seems to view it
as disgusting. What should
I do?
ROCKY ROAD IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ROCKY ROAD: Give
him a hug and let him go.
You are the sum total of
your experiences and your
upbringing, and the same
is true of your boyfriend.
He comes from a background of racial prejudice.
When a person is raised
that way, the mindset can
be very diicult to change.
DEAR ABBY: I’m writing
to you in the hope you will
share something with your
readers. When I travel, I
stay in hotels and it never
ceases to amaze me how
inconsiderate my fellow
travelers can be. Late at
night, the drunken party
animals carry on, often
until the sun rises. Then,
families with small children invade the halls, and
the kids race up and down
the halls screaming.
Parents, please teach
your children manners.
This includes not playing
noisily where people are
trying to sleep.
SLEEPLESS NEAR SEATTLE
DEAR SLEEPLESS: I have
experienced the same dificulties you have while
traveling. Here’s how I deal
with it: I pick up the phone
and notify the front desk or
security if there are rowdy
drunks keeping me awake
after 10 p.m. — and the
same goes for neighbors
who have the volume on
their television sets turned
up so high I can’t sleep. If
the problem persists, I ask
to be moved to a quieter
room.
As for the screaming children chasing each
other in the hallways, I
have been known to poke
my sleepy head out the
door and ask them to
please quiet down. Maybe
I have just been lucky, but
they usually do.
DEAR ABBY: I was married
to my high school sweetheart, “Linda,” for 37 years.
I am a widower now, going
into a new relationship.
“Susan” and I are going slow, but we may end
up living together in my
home.
How do I integrate pictures of Linda with Susan
being there? I have one of
Linda and the kids, one
of the two of us, and a
painting of Linda and me
together. Eventually I will
want one with me and
Susan.
LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE
DEAR L.S.T.: I am a great
believer in verbal communication. Like many other
things in relationships, this
should be discussed and
negotiated.
Talk to Susan about it
and see if she would be
comfortable living in your
home with these pictures
on display.
If you plan to combine households, Susan
may have some photos of
her own she would like to
display.
Write Dear Abby at
www.DearAbby.com.
Associated Press
INDIANAPOLIS u Michael
Carter-Williams spent most
of his basketball life trying
to say all the right things in
public.
Last summer, he inally
got a chance to be himself on
camera.
The quiet former Syracuse
star agreed to let a television crew proile his journey
through the NBA’s summer
league and now the whole
world can get a glimpse at
what is like for a star player
when “Summer Dreams”
premieres on CBS during the
heart of March Madness.
The reality program features four NBA rookie prospects — Carter-Williams,
Dallas Mavericks guard Shane
Larkin, Romero Osby and
Dwayne Davis — NBA referee
hopeful Lauren Holtkamp
and NBA D-League coach
Joel Abelson as they try to
take the next big steps in their
careers.
Most of the participants
saw it as an opportunity to
gain exposure. Carter-Williams wanted others to see a
side of life he rarely shows.
“I think the biggest diference was it wasn’t me having
to necessarily say the right
thing,” the Philadelphia 76ers
guard told The Associated
Press. “I could say what I felt
about the game. I didn’t have
to pretend to be anyone else.”
The show is scheduled to
air in a two-hour slot Saturday night after CBS broadcasts its fourth and inal
game of the day and less
than 24 hours before the
NCAA tournament pairings
are announced on Selection
Sunday.
Network executives are
betting that will be a ratings
winner. But that’s not why
executive producer Mike
Tollin took on this project.
He wanted to give basketball fans a look into a world
that looks like a combination
of baseball’s winter meetings and the NFL’s annual
scouting while providing a
platform that goes well beyond the high-proile stars
such as Carter-Williams and
Larkin, both irst-round picks
in June.
Osby, Orlando’s secondround pick, and Davis, an
CHRIS SZAGOLA—ASSOCIATED PRESS
Philadelphia 76ers’ Michael Carter-Williams goes up for a shot Wednesday during the second half
of an NBA basketball game against the Boston Celtics in Philadelphia. Carter-Williams agreed to be
proiled for ‘Summer Nights,’ which premieres March 15 on CBS.
undrafted free agent, got a
chance to show they could
compete against NBA-caliber
talent. Osby was averaging
16.2 points with Maine in the
D-League until being waived
after sustaining a seasonending right shoulder injury
Jan. 11. Davis is scoring 9.7
points for UCAM Murica, a
Spanish team.
Holtkamp used the Las Vegas games to audition in front
of Joe Borgia, vice president
of NBA referee operations,
and has worked a handful of
NBA contests this season.
Abelson turned the week
into his own personal job fair,
searching for a new job after
being ired as head coach of
Sioux Falls (S.D.) Skyforce.
He landed the head coaching
job with Reno, a D-League
ailiate of the Sacramento
Kings, and the Bighorns were
tied for the West Division lead
at 16-11.
“I’ve done a lot of sports
documentaries and I’m always attracted to the underdog. It gives us the hope and
the belief that dreams come
true there (in Vegas) and great
stories emerge,” Tollin said.
“I’d like to have people discover the Las Vegas summer
league and appreciate how
hard it is to get there, how
long the odds are people have
to overcome to become one of
the chosen.”
The project began with
camera crews following about
15 people.
Over the course of two
months, editors settled on the
six who provided the most
compelling story lines and
the greatest access. Along
the way, Tollin and his team
of Jon Weinbach, Danny
Meiseles and Mason Gordon
documented a series of intriguing tales.
Larkin, the son of baseball
Hall of Famer Barry Larkin,
shows his disgust after breaking his right ankle just before
the summer games begin and
is shown wiping his eyes as
his mother tries to comfort
him. After undergoing surgery, the show follows Larkin
as his father helps him cope
with the grueling challenge
of rehab.
Mandy Carter-Zegarowski,
a former women’s college
basketball player who plays
the dual role of mother and
personal manager of her son,
Carter-Williams, searches
for the right balance to help
her son.
During lunch with four
other mothers who had NBA
sons, she inds out each had
similar concerns when their
children were rookies.
If all goes well, Tollin hopes
to make a sequel this summer
with a new cast of characters.
For Carter-Williams, the
reality of sharing a television stage with his mother
opened the door to a whole
new world.
“A lot of people are going
to know about my mom a lot
more,” he said, explaining he
expects his new teammates
will tease him.
“But people are going to
see me as someone diferent, too.”
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Mercury won’t help
out today, but the caring
Aquarius sun, undaunted,
suggests you can still build
your power by helping
people get what they
need or want. Be careful not to use force when
you could use power. Force
is draining. It’s built on a
system of reward and punishment that doesn’t sustain itself. Power creates
energy.
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 7).
This is the month when
you are in your power, so
ask for what you want.
Your manner of dealing
with stress changes this
year, and the new, healthier
coping mechanisms lead
to a happy event in March.
April shows you winning a
competition. Your travels
in May increase the low of
love into your realm. Cancer and Leo people adore
you. Your lucky numbers
are: 13, 8, 49, 36 and 41.
ARIES (March 21-April 19).
As far as your communication goes, you’re a regular
Hemingway today, in the
mood to get right to the
point with short declarative statements. Simple
statements of fact lead to
success.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20).
Those who set out to impress people often miss the
mark; whereas, those who
set out to impress themselves are often fascinating. That’s one more reason to follow your bliss.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21).
You’ve been known to put
yourself in stressful situations just to see whether
you can ind your way out.
Of course you can! And
you’ll do it with grace, too.
This is how you become
stronger.
CANCER (June 22-July 22).
You deserve your own
love and attention just as
much as anyone else on the
planet. This is a diicult
thing for you to accept,
as you have become so
used to helping your loved
ones, but it’s something to
strongly consider today.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Relationships without common interests can’t thrive.
You may have to stretch
and try something new,
but don’t stretch too
much. A common interest
should be something you
both are genuinely interested in.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22).
When you love someone,
it’s easy to walk side by side
with that person because
there’s no place you would
rather be. The one who
walks ahead or drags behind is signaling a problem
that needs to be addressed.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23).
Every day, you are becoming more aware of
who your loved ones are
and what they are likely
to do. Good, considering the misery and futility
that come from expecting another person to be
anything other than who
they are.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21).
As beings, we’re perfect
in spirit and lawed in our
humanity, and that’s the
beauty of it. Give yourself
permission to stop worrying about those laws for
the day.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec.
21). You’ll empathize with
the sufering of others and
feel relief when conlicts
are resolved, even when it’s
happening in the makebelieve context of movies
and television.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.
19). You dream of greatness, and you’ll achieve
it by taking it one small
step at a time. Grandiose
goals won’t help you today.
Don’t give them up.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.
18). The No. 1 job of the day
is to manage your emotions. You’re a leader now,
and people are looking to
you for cues about how
they should behave.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20).
Noise or hurry will make
it more diicult for you to
communicate, but you can
solve the problem easily.
Slow down, go where it’s
quiet, and say what you
need to say.
If you would like to write
to Holiday Mathis, please
go to www.creators.com.