HOWARD K. HILL: MEMORIAL SERVICE
PRE-PLANNING GUIDE
The Pre-planning Guide below has been created to assist you in furnishing your family
with detailed documentation concerning your desires for a Funeral/Memorial Service.
While it may be challenging to provide your loved ones with guidance regarding what’s
important to you at the time of your passing, doing so will not only prevent your loved
ones from being burdened at this difficult time but it will also add a personal element to
your service of choice.
We suggest you regularly review the information in this Guide and make changes when
needed. Think of this Pre-planning Guide as an additional component of your will and
estate planning. Please feel free to copy this guide and give it to friends and other
associates.
When you have completely filled out this Guide, we recommend you share it with a close
friend or family member. If this is not possible, be sure to inform someone that you have
filled out a Pre- planning Guide.
I have left a copy of my Memorial Service Pre-Planning Guide with:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Important:
Since your family may need this information at a time when banks are closed, please do
not leave the original copy of this Guide in your safety deposit box. Plus, access to your
safety deposit box may be restricted at the time of your death.
If you need more help:
Please consult our website , www.howardkhillfuneralhome.com.
The time you spend now will leave an eternal legacy with your loved ones.
1
Let’s begin:
For starters, find a quiet and serene place to complete your Pre-planning Guide. Make
sure you allow plenty of time for this most meaningful task. Let yourself remember both
the good and bad times. Be prepared to experience a range of emotions. Let your
creativity and imagination run freely. Also, keep in mind that you’ll fill out this guide,
but the actual funeral planned will be for the benefit of your loved ones. Among many
things, it will give them much needed emotional support while grieving and it will help
them remember you as a one-of-a-kind person.
Completing this Guide can be both challenging and emotional. However, the questions
are outlined in a manner that makes this Guide clear and easy to follow while inspiring
creativity.
Keep in mind, the information you fill in is only meant to be a guide. As a result, you are
not requiring your loved ones to fulfill every desire listed. You are simply providing them
with a range of information that will assist them in creating a ceremony that represents
your beliefs and ideas. Your family and friends will certainly appreciate this most
precious gift.
As you complete your guide, please consult instruction booklet provided. You’ll find help
with decision-making, explanations of terms and other useful information.
2
FUNERAL/MEMORIAL SERVICE PRE-PLANNING GUIDE
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Date:
________________________________________________________________________
Revision Date:
________________________________________________________________________
Dear Loved Ones,
You will be faced with a number of decisions after my passing. To assist you in this
process, the following Pre-Planning Guide outlines my personal desires and preferences
regarding a Funeral/Memorial Service. I respectfully request that you read through this
document in it entirety prior to finalizing any arrangements.
I Vital Statistics
The Funeral Director will need the following information to complete a Death Certificate:
1. Legal Name:
________________________________________________________________________
2. Address:
________________________________________________________________________
3. Date of Birth:
(Year/Month/Day)_________________________________________________________
3
4. Place of Birth:
________________________________________________________________________
5. Country of Citizenship:
________________________________________________________________________
6. Social Insurance/Security Number:
________________________________________________________________________
7. Usual Occupation:
________________________________________________________________________
8. Kind of Business/Industry:
________________________________________________________________________
3
9. Military Service:
________________________________________________________________________
10. Highest Level of Education Completed:
________________________________________________________________________
11. Marital Status:
________________________________________________________________________
12. Legal Name of Spouse (including that of a deceased spouse):
________________________________________________________________________
13. Occupation of Spouse (including that of a deceased spouse):
________________________________________________________________________
14. Father’s Name (First, Middle, Last):
________________________________________________________________________
4
15. Mother’s Name (First, Middle, Last, Maiden):
________________________________________________________________________
16. Place of Disposition (Cemetery, Crematorium, other):
________________________________________________________________________
II Other Personal Information
The information below may be useful when completing an Obituary or writing a Eulogy.
1. Nickname or name I am commonly called:
________________________________________________________________________
2. Education:
Elementary Schools Attended:
_____________________________________________________
High Schools Attended:
_____________________________________________________
Colleges/Universities/Trade Schools:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
I hold the following educational degrees:
________________________________________________________________________
I received the following scholarships:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
5
3. Military Service:
Date and place of Enlistment:
_____________________________________________________
Date and place of Discharge:
_____________________________________________________
Level of Service:
_____________________________________________________________
Honorary Mention:
_____________________________________________________________
Details of Service:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
4. Religious Affiliation:
________________________________________________________________________
Names of Churches I have attended (past to present):
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
I have held the following position/s at my church:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
5. Community Service:
I have enjoyed the following Community Service/Volunteer Work:
6
6. Sports and Leisure:
I enjoy or have enjoyed playing the following sports:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
I have received the following athletic awards:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
I enjoy or have enjoyed the following recreational activities:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
My favorite hobbies are/have been:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
7. Career:
I have held the following Occupations (Past to Present)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
My greatest work accomplishments have been:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
7
8. Family:
My Father’s Name and Birthplace:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
_____Living
_____Deceased
My Mother’s Maiden Name and Birthplace:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
_____Living
_____Deceased
My Step Parent Information:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
8
My Brothers and Sisters:
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
9
My Spousal Information:
Name: _______________________________ Age: _________
If deceased, date of death:
________________________________________________________
Something special I would like you to know about my Spouse is:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Information regarding previous spouses (if appropriate):
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
10
My Children are:
Name: _________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: _________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________ Age: _________Living: _____Deceased: _____
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
My Grandchildren are:
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
11
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
My Great Grandchildren are:
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Name: ____________ Age: _____
Name: ____________________ Age: _____
Other special family members are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
12
III Additional Information
The information below may be used to personalize my Funeral/Memorial Service. It may
also be helpful for writing a Eulogy.
1. These are my Favorite:
° Color
________________________________________________________________________
° Car:
________________________________________________________________________
° Sports Team
________________________________________________________________________
° Movie
________________________________________________________________________
° Actor/Actress
________________________________________________________________________
° Song
________________________________________________________________________
° Singer/Band
________________________________________________________________________
° Place to Visit
________________________________________________________________________
° Hero
________________________________________________________________________
13
° Food
________________________________________________________________________
° Drink
________________________________________________________________________
° Animal
________________________________________________________________________
° Saying
________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
2. My favorite childhood memories are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
3. My favorite memories as a teenager are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
4. My favorite memories as a young adult are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
5. My favorite memories as an adult are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
14
6. Places I have traveled to and enjoyed are (may include dates, nature of trip, special
memories):
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
7. Special things I have done that I am proud of are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
8. The people who have had the most effect on my life are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
9. If I could live my life over again, I would spend less time:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
10. If I could live my life over again, I would spend more time:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
11. The most fun I ever had was:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
15
12. The things in life that have given me the greatest enjoyment are:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
13. I would describe myself as having the following attributes:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
14. Something I always wanted to do but never got around to is:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
15. If I could make one important statement to the loved ones I leave behind, this is what
I would say:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
16. I have a special message for:
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Message:
_____________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
16
IV Notification
1. Please be sure to notify the following people of my death:
Name: _________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Name: __________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Name: __________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: __________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Name: __________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
17
Name: _________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Name: __________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Name: ___________________________________ Phone #:______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________________ Phone #: ______________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
18
V Funeral Arrangements
1. I am a Member of the following Memorial Society and they have specific information
regarding my wishes at this time:
Name of Society:
_______________________________________________________________
Contact: ____________________________ Phone #: _______________________
2. I have made arrangements with the following Funeral Home, and they have a record
of my wishes regarding Funeral Arrangements: (The appropriate documentation is
attached to this Guide)
Name of Funeral Director:
________________________________________________________
Funeral Home Name:
____________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Phone #:
______________________________________________________________________
3. Details of a Funeral Package I have arranged are as follows:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
19
4. I have pre-paid for my Funeral Arrangements:
_____Yes (Documentation of this is attached to the Guide)
_____No
5. I have not made arrangements with a Funeral Home but I would recommend the
following one:
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Phone #:
______________________________________________________________________
I have considered what I would like with regards to Funeral Arrangements and have
listed the following choices:
6. I request a Burial: _____Yes
_____ No
7. I would like my body to be:
_____Interned
_____Entombed
8. I would like the following type of casket:
_____Ornate Metal
_____Ornate Wood
_____Fiber board/Cardboard
_____Simple hard/soft wood
_____Other
9. If possible, I would like a Green Burial
_____Yes
_____No
20
10. I have purchased a burial plot, which is located at:
(The appropriate documentation is attached to this Guide)
________________________________________________________________________
11. I prefer Cremation: _____Yes
_____ No
I would like my ashes to be:
12. _____Buried at the following location:
________________________________________________________________________
13. _____ Placed in a Columbarium Niche
14. _____Scattered (i.e. at sea, in a park, on a lake, etc…)
Location and reason for this choice:
_______________________________________________________________________
15. ____Given to a loved one to keep
Name of person and reason for this choice:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
16. I would like the container for my ashes to be:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
21
17. I have purchased a burial plot/columbarium niche for my cremated remains. It is
located at: (The appropriate documentation is attached to this Guide)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
18. I would like to wear the following clothes and jewellery for my disposition:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
19. I wish my body to be embalmed: Yes ____
No____
20. I would like an Obituary to be published in the following Newspapers:
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
I would like the following specific information included in my Obituary:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
_____ I would not like an Obituary to be published
22
21. I would like Memorial Contributions sent to:
Name of Organization:
___________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
I would like it to be stated in my Obituary, that Memorial Contributions are preferred to
flowers:
_____Yes
_____ No
VI Funeral/Memorial Service
My goal in completing this section of the Pre-planning Guide is to furnish my friends and
family with as much aid as possible during this difficult time. Please use the information
below as you wish. Keep in mind that it is only a general outline of my desires.
1. I would like the following elements to be included in my Service:
_____Visitation/Wake
_____Traditional Funeral Service
_____Open Casket During Service _____Procession to Cemetery
_____Graveside Service
_____Reception
_____Memorial Service
_____Other ___________________________________
23
2. I am a member of the following Society and would like their special ceremony
included in my Service:
Name of Society:
_______________________________________________________________
Contact: ____________________________Phone #: _________________________
3. I believe that any of the following people would be wonderful choices for an Officiate
for the Service:
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
4. I would like Pall Bearers: _____Yes
_____No
My choices for this would be:
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
24
5. I would like ushers: _____Yes
_____No
My choices for this would be:
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
Name ______________________________ Phone #: ___________________________
6. I would like the Service to be located at:
____Church
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
____ Funeral Home
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
25
____ Chapel
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
____ Private Home
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
____Outside
Location Name:
________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
_____Reception Hall
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
26
_____Club
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
____ Other
Name:
________________________________________________________________________
Address:
______________________________________________________________________
7. Guest List:
I would like the Funeral/Memorial Service to be open to the:
____The public
____ Family and friends only
I have the following specific guest list requests:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
27
8. I would like the Service to be of the following type:
____ Special celebration of my life, reflecting my accomplishments and milestones. I
want people to share their memories of me with those present.
____ Traditional, religious service with my name reflected during the service.
____ Combination of both of the above.
9. I would like the general theme of the Service to be:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
I would like the service to include a:
10. Eulogy:
_____ Yes
_____ No
I would like to have a eulogy written and read by:
Name: _____________________________________ Phone #:
__________________________
If they would like, I would also like to have a eulogy written and read by:
Name: _______________________________ Phone #: __________________________
Name: _______________________________ Phone #: __________________________
Name: _______________________________ Phone #: __________________________
Name: _______________________________ Phone #: __________________________
28
I would like the eulogy to include facts about my:
____ Personal life, sports, hobbies, interests
____ Career, work relationships, accomplishments
____ Family life
____ Other
Specify:_________________________________________________________________
I would like the following things mentioned in my eulogy:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
11. Poems and Readings:
I would like poems included in my Funeral/Memorial Service
Yes _____ No _____
I would especially like the following poems to be included:
(I have attached copies of these poems to this Guide)
Title: _____________________________ Poet: ______________________________
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Title: _____________________________ Poet: ______________________________
29
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Title: ______________________________ Poet: ______________________________
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Title: ______________________________ Poet: ______________________________
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Title: _______________________________ Poet: ______________________________
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Special Readings/Sayings/Quotes:
I would like a special Reading, Saying, or Quote included in my Funeral/Memorial
Service:
Yes _____
No _____
I would like the following ones to be included:
(I have attached copies of these to this Guide)
Title: ______________________________ Author: __________________________
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Title: _______________________________ Author: __________________________
30
Reason for Choice:
______________________________________________________________
Title: ______________________________ Author: __________________________
Reason for Choice:
_____________________________________________________________________
Title: ______________________________ Author: __________________________
Reason for Choice:
_____________________________________________________________________
Title: ______________________________ Author: __________________________
Reason for Choice:
_____________________________________________________________________
12. Songs and Music:
I would like special music to be included in my Funeral/Memorial Service:
Yes ____ No _____
I would like the music to be in the form of:
____ Organist/ Pianist
____ Choir
____ Solo Performance
____ Recorded Music
____ Other
31
I would like the music to be:
____ Religious
____ Traditional
____ Contemporary
____ Reflect a certain theme
Details of the theme:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
A list of songs I would pick for my service would be:
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
32
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
Title: _________________________________ Artist: __________________________
VII Symbolic Goodbye
1. I would like to include a symbolic good-bye in my Service:
_____Yes
_____No
2. I would like to suggest the following:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
3. I would like my family and friends to come together and celebrate my memory in a
special tradition on the anniversary of my death. Some ideas would be:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
33
VIII Reception Following the Service
1. I would like a gathering of people after the Funeral/Memorial Service:
_____Yes
_____No
2. Guest List:
I would like the Reception to be:
____ Open to everyone
____ Open to close friends and family only
3. I would like the Reception to be at the following location:
_____ My family home
_____ Other family home
Specify:
______________________________________________________________________
34
_____ The Funeral Home or Memorial Facility
_____ Reception hall
_____ Club
_____Outdoor location
Specify:
______________________________________________________________________
____ Other
Specify:
______________________________________________________________________
4. My preferences for food and beverages would be:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
IX Additional Requests
1. I would like to make the following additional suggestions for my Funeral/Memorial
Service:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
35
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
X Legal Information
You will need the following information regarding my legal affairs and papers.
1. My legal documentation is located: (i.e. will, living will, insurance papers, financial
records,
etc.)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
2. Next of Kin: ______________________________Phone #: ____________________
3. Executor of my Estate: _____________________Phone #: _____________________
4. Power of Attorney: _________________________Phone #: ____________________
5. General Practitioner: _______________________Phone #: ____________________
6. Church: __________________________________Phone #: ____________________
7. Attorney: ________________________________Phone #: ____________________
36
XI A Final Note
I downloaded this Pre-Planning Guide from a very helpful website. If need further
assistance in organizing my Funeral/Memorial Service, you may want to visit this site for
yourself. Here is the web address:
www.howardkhillfuneralhome.com
37
Pre-planning Guide Instruction Booklet
The information below will help you complete the Pre-Planning Guide. You’ll also find
the definitions of several terms you will encounter as you pre-plan a Funeral or Memorial
Service. (Definitions are marked with an asterisk*)
I Vital Statistics
In most countries, a portion or all of this information is needed to complete a
Registration of Death, confirm a death with the nation’s bureau of Vital Statistics, and to
complete a Death Certificate.
1.—15. Please fill in your vital statistics
16. Leave this blank if you have not yet determined a Place of Disposition.
II Other Personal Information
This is more information that will be helpful to your friends and family when creating an
Obituary or Eulogy.
1.— 8. Leave these lines blank if any of these questions do not apply to you.
III Additional Information
1.—16. This information gives your friends and family some more details concerning
your particular history and personality which, in turn, helps them add depth and meaning
to your Service. Don’t rush through these questions. Take your time with them. While all
this information isn’t likely to be used in planning your Funeral or Memorial Service, it
will provide your loved ones with a strong emotional connection to you. Don’t worry
about trying to answer all of these questions. Leave some lines blank if you have to. It’s
okay. Keep in mind, too, that there are no right or wrong answers here. Just indicate
what’s best for you.
38
IV Notification
1. Most families will place an obituary in the local newspapers and contact other friends
and family personally in order to make public the notice of your death. However, it is
probable that your family may overlook a loved one or dear friend you wish to receive
notification of your passing. In this section, you can record the names and phone numbers
of people you want to be notified of your death.
V Funeral Arrangements
ß
1. *Memorial Society: These are organizations that compile helpful information on the
death care industry for the benefit of their members. Chief among their goals is to help
people plan affordable funerals that are both simple and dignified. If you have
membership in a Memorial Society, then indicate it here.
2. *Funeral Home: These are specialized businesses which help individuals and their
families to cater to the numerous details and legal issues associated with death. While the
law does not require you to utilize a Funeral Home, most people choose to do so. Among
many other things, a Funeral Home helps the bereaved to be eased of unnecessary
burdens during their time of loss. Many people choose to go with a particular Funeral
Home because it has helped other friends and family members in the past or
it is conveniently located nearby. Keep in mind, though, that comparing one Funeral
Home to others in your area can lead to significantly reduced costs. It may seem
uncomfortable to do some comparison shopping, but it should not be overlooked. It
would also be to your advantage to visit a number of Funeral Homes during the Preplanning phase. If this is not feasible, then arrangements should at least be discussed over
the phone. It’s incumbent upon Funeral Homes to give you a detailed list of the
products and services they offer along with costs for each. You’ll be in better position to
choose the Funeral Home that’s best for you when comparing the costs and services from
a few places.
3. * Package Funerals: A number of funeral homes package funerals which are offer
package funerals which may be more economical than purchasing items or services
separately. Be sure to secure an detailed price list so you see the difference in cost
between purchasing individual items or services and buying a complete package.
39
4. Note here if you have made payment for any Funeral arrangements. Attach any
applicable documentation to this guide.
5. Record your suggested Funeral Home here if you’ve not already consulted with one.
6. *Burial: The body is placed into a casket and buried in a tomb or in the ground.
This type of disposition is most common. Express your wishes to your family here.
7. *Internment: The body is placed beneath the ground.
*Entombment: The body is put into a mausoleum crypt above ground.
There are a number of variations among these crypts including expense, the number
of bodies it can
hold, ornamentation and size.
8. *Casket: This is the container that holds a body during burial. Choosing a casket can
be very personal.
As such, there are a number of things to think about. Special consideration should be
given to the range of
options you have available. Standard materials used to construct caskets include a variety
of soft woods
and hardwoods as well as metals. Other materials include cardboard, chip-board, wicker
and bamboo.
While it is not unusual to select a casket at your Funeral Home, you are under no
obligation to do so.
You’ll find several casket companies that are ready to serve you and offer some pretty
sizeable savings. If
you decide to buy a casket at a Funeral Home, make sure you browse through all the
caskets they offer
because most Funeral Homes tend to place their more expensive selections on the show
room floor.
9. *Green Burial: As the most eco-friendly type of burial, the Green Burial allows for no
toxic embalming fluids and utilizes non-toxic, biodegradable materials. The whole
premise behind these burials is to successfully return “dust to dust”. Depending on the
laws in your given area, you’ll find a number of options for Green or Natural burials.
Consult a loc Funeral Home to find out what’s available in your area.
10. Record the location of any burial plot you may have purchased and attach its
corresponding documentation.
40
11. *Cremation: The body id reduced to bone fragments and ash using a flame and high
heat. Because it is both affordable and flexible, cremation is growing in popularity among
a number of people. Plus, cremation is friendly to the environment. Indicate here whether
you want to be cremated.
12. Burial of Ashes: A burial plot or cemetery garden is ideal for the burial of ashes.
Check with your local regulations if you would prefer your ashes be buried in another
location.
13. * Columbarium: This structure contains a number of small spaces (niches) designed
to hold the urns which contain cremated remains. A Columbarium is generally located at
a cemetery do family and friends can visit the site and remember the deceased.
14. Scattering of Ashes: The majority of areas don’t have any laws regarding cremated
remains because no public health concerns have arisen concerning this issue. However,
your particular area may have some local cemetery restrictions. Consult your Funeral
Director for information on companies who can deal with these issues on your behalf.
Most commonly, ashes are scattered by airplane, or from a boat on a body of water. Some
people even scatter ashes throughout their favorite park, golf course, their own property
or another meaningful piece of land. You should confer with your local authorities or
your Funeral Director in order to find out what options you have for scattering ashes.
15. If you want a friend or family member to keep your remains, then indicate your wish
here.
16. Container for Ashes: While just about any container can be used to store ashes, be
sure the container you choose has a sealable lid. Most funeral homes offer urns for
purchase, but you don’t have to buy them there. You may find more affordable options
elsewhere.
17. Use this space to record the location of any Columbarium Niche or Burial plot you
have purchased. Make sure you attach the corresponding documentation to the guide.
18. Clothing and Jewelry for Disposition: Some people like to wear a particular outfit
and/or jewelry during their burial or disposition. Keep in mind, in accordance with your
local laws, any jewelry you select will be destroyed during cremation and disposed of by
your crematorium.
19. *Embalming: This is the procedure that preserves the bodies of the deceased.
Embalming is primarily used for two reasons: to discourage the spread of infection and to
give loved ones enough time between death and burial to view and visit with the body or
41
observe other customs. These days, most people in North America have corpses
embalmed. This is only needed if you select a service that allows for viewing of the body
as embalming is not required by law in some situations.
20. *Obituary: Typically published in a newspaper, an obituary gives notice of one’s
passing. It’s generally comprised of a brief biography of the deceased along with details
regarding the Funeral/Memorial Service. In most cases, people publish an Obituary in
many local newspapers so those who haven’t been personally contacted by the family can
be made aware of their loved one’s passing. If you’ve lived in other cities, you may also
want to have an Obituary published in those local newspapers as well.
21. *Memorial Contributions: These are gifts given in memory of one who has passed
away. In most cases, these contributions are donated to a Medical Research Fund or
Charitable Organization chosen by the deceased or their family. If you prefer Memorial
Contributions to be made to a particular fund or organization, then record it here.
It is common for the Obituary to indicate that donations to a given organization are
preferred instead of flowers.
VI Funeral/Memorial Service
1. Select one or more of the choices listed below:
*Visitation/Wake: This gives surviving loved ones the chance to view the body of
the deceased in a private setting. Most Funeral Homes have a special room
designated for this purpose. The Funeral Home typically posts visitation hours and
allows people to visit as they please. During a traditional Wake, one or more
loved ones stay with the body of the deceased until the night before the funeral.
Many times a Wake also includes food and beverages.
*Traditional Funeral Service: This usually takes place within the first few days of
one’s passing and involves the presence of the body of the deceased.
Traditional Funeral services are often conducted by a member of the clergy in a
Chapel or Church. Traditional Funerals can range from the quaint and simple to the
elaborate and celebratory. Of course, this all depends on what you desire.
Traditional Funerals are a great choice for someone who is affiliated with some kind
42
of church. The rituals and formality of this kind of service provide a number of
people with great comfort and solace.
Remember that Traditional Funerals can be quite expensive. Costs typically include
a casket, embalming, transportation of the body for final disposition and the use of
the funeral home’s facilities.
These days, Funeral Services are becoming increasingly more personal as people
want to commemorate the passing of their loved ones in a memorable fashion.
Compared to Memorial Services, Funerals aren’t as flexible but more unique ideas
can be factored into the service.
• *Open Casket During Service: While not every culture or faith allows for the
viewing of bodies, many find it helps them accept the reality of death. Viewing the
body also brings closure and helps loved ones realize that the life of the deceased ahs
really ended. The choice to include a viewing as part of the service is a personal one.
As such, it should reflect the wishes of the deceased or their closes family members.
While some people find viewings to be a bit gruesome, others see open casket services
as beneficial. After all, not every one is required to participate in the viewing.
• *Procession to Cemetery: This involves the movement of vehicles from the
location of the Funeral Service to the burial site. The casket is usually transported by a
hearse. However, some may use a fire truck or horse drawn carriage to move the body.
On its way to the burial site, the procession typically passes sites that were favored by
the deceased.
A procession can also come behind a Church Funeral Service where guests follow the
casket out of the sanctuary and to the burial site.
• *Graveside Service: Conducted at the Gravesite, this type of Funeral service can be
carried out in a number of ways. It can be informal with loved ones coming forward to
speak. It can also be formally conducted by a priest, pastor or other speaker. The
Graveside Service can be a short addition to a formal Funeral Service in a Funeral Homes,
Chapel or Church or it can make up the majority of the entire Funeral.
43
*Memorial Service: This service is designed to pay tribute to the life of the dearly
departed, but the body does not have to be present. For this reason, Memorial Services
can be conducted in a number of locations and can be held a few days or weeks
preceding the death. Memorial Services can be helpful as they make room for more
planning time. Plus, if people are traveling from a great distance, a Memorial Service
lets them take advantage of discounts most airlines offer for booking in advance.
Memorial Services are growing in popularity as people search for more distinct and
personal ways to honor the life of their deceased loved ones. These services are also
more cost-efficient because they typically don’t involve vaults, grave liners, urns,
expensive caskets or embalming. Plus, the complete services of a Funeral Director or
Home are not required.
• *Reception: This informal gathering of family and friends usually follows
Funeral/memorial Services. The Reception gives people an opportunity to provide
support to the family and share fond memories of the deceased. Many Funeral Homes
have special rooms for receptions as it usually takes place in the same place as the
Funeral/Memorial Service.
2. *Society: Career groups such as Firefighters and Police as well as fraternal
organizations such as religious groups, sororities and Masons will want to perform
special ceremonies for their members.
3. Officiate: One of the most important decisions you’ll make concerning your
Funeral/Memorial Service involves choosing an Officiate. This individual will be
primarily responsible for ensuring the service runs smoothly. Be sure to choose someone
with whom your family is comfortable and has some sort of rapport. The Officiate should
also be articulate and a confident public speaker. It’s also to your advantage to choose
someone who has respect for your beliefs concerning life and death. The Officiate you
select can be a friend, family member, human celebrant, Funeral Director, priest, minister
or chaplain.
44
4. Pallbearers: Pallbearers are generally comprised of 4 to 6 men who are not immediate
family members.
5. Ushers: Ushers usually include 2 to 4 people (depending on the expected number of
guests) and are typically present in a formal Funeral/Memorial Service. Funeral Homes
will often supply someone to serve in this capacity if you choose to have your service in
their facilities.
6. Location: You have a number of options when it comes to choosing a location for
your Memorial Service, Funeral Service or Reception. Choosing a location that is
especially unique to the deceased is one of the most meaningful ways to personalize a
Memorial Service. Try to think of a place that represents some unique aspects of your
life. If it you’re considering an unconventional location for your Memorial Service, then
you’ll want to think about how many people it can accommodate and whether it is
conducive to serving food.
7. Guest list: You can make your Funeral/Memorial Service open to the public or you
can limit it to a select group of invited friends and family members. An Obituary
published in your local newspaper usually contains this public announcement. If you’d
prefer a specific guest list, it is likely that those organizing the service may leave out
someone important to you. You can list their names here.
8. Type of service: The traditional funeral service can be quite a meaningful experience
for most people. However, there is a segment of the population who is moving towards
more non-traditional services that focus on the unique and positive aspects of the life of
the deceased as well as the emotional needs of the surviving family members and friends.
Keep in mind, there are a number of possible combinations for organizing a
Funeral/Memorial Service. After all, the goal is to plan a meaningful celebration that will
help your family members and friends through their grieving.
45
9. Theme: Focusing on unique traits or activities which defined the dearly departed is
one way to enhance a Memorial Service. This can be easily accomplished by giving the
service a theme which highlights people’s memories of the deceased. Think of special
hobbies, your cultural background or a career that would serve as a great focus for the
service.
10. Eulogy: This is a speech or written work is designed to praise the accomplishments
or character of the deceased. Eulogies always add a personal touch to the service that is
especially unique. When thinking of whom you want to deliver your eulogy, consider
who best can communicate you’re the attributes you would most like people to remember.
Keep in mind, too, that you can have more than one person deliver a eulogy.
11. Poems and Readings: Poems and Readings not only bring a personal touch to your
Memorial Service, but, with the right reader, those attending your service will be
comforted and inspired in a profound way. If there is a certain Poem or Reading that is
very meaningful to you, then include it here. This will be a great aid to those who are
planning your service. Take at look at our Poems and Readings Page at
www.memorialserviceplanning.com to Browse through a great selection of more than
110 beautiful poems and readings designed for a Funeral or Memorial Service.
12. Songs and Music: A Memorial Service simply isn’t complete without the right
music. The Songs you choose should be meaningful to both you and your loved ones.
Ideally, the lyrics would convey a unique message from you or you can choose music
from your favorite genre. You can even consider music that’s unique to your ethnic
background. You’re certainly not limited to traditional funeral music.
Take a look at the Songs Page at www.memorialserviceplanning.com to browse through
an extensive selection of beautiful songs and their lyrics.
VII Symbolic Gesture or Goodbye
1. There’s a broad range of ways to add a beautiful touch to a Funeral or Memorial
Service with symbolic goodbye. Here a few ideas to consider: Candle lighting ceremony
Throwing coins in a fountain Planting a tree, Releasing butterflies or white doves.
46
Think of something that’s unique to you if you want to include a Symbolic Gesture or
Goodbye. Be imaginative. We’ve heard of guests contributing to a charity cook book for
a gourmet chef, planting a garden for a gardener or hitting golf balls for a golfer.
Take a look at our Memorial Ideas Page at www.howardkhillfuneralhome.com for an
extensive list of ideas for Symbolic Goodbye’s.
VIII Reception
1. An informal gathering of family and friends is an excellent way to let your loved ones
bid a final farewell. They’ll be able to provide your family with sympathy and support as
they share wonderful memories of you.
2. Guest list: Most times this list is limited to family members only. You don’t have to
invite everyone who attends the Funeral or Memorial Service to the Reception.
3. Location: This is contingent upon the number of guests you invite to the Reception.
With the exception of a Chapel, Church or Gravesite, the Reception is often held at the
same site as the Funeral or Memorial Service.
4. Food and Beverages: It’s common to have food and beverages present at the
Reception. You can keep it simple so it’s not too elaborate and it doesn’t call for several
hours of preparation. However, a number of people have discovered that serving food
gives guests the opportunity to mingle and share fond memories of the deceased.
IX Additional Requests
If you have any extra requests that go beyond the scope of this guide, then include them
here.
X Legal Information
Your loved ones will need this information in order to handle your legal, financial and
other personal affairs. While you probably have this information documented somewhere
else, attaching copies to this Pre-planning guide will be most helpful.
47
XI A Final Note
Above all, we hope that completing this Pre-Planning Guide has given you a deep sense
of personal satisfaction in knowing you’ve given your loved ones a meaningful gift.
The detailed information you have furnished will enable them to create a lasting memory
that won’t soon be forgotten. Our website, www.howardkhillfuneralhome.com is
committed to giving our visitors the information they need to plan unique celebrations of
their departed loved ones. We stand firmly by the belief that a beautiful and meaningful
Memorial Service that commemorates the life of the deceased is a vital component of the
healing process for the surviving family members and friends. Please feel free to
recommend our website to your loved ones as a place where they can find all the
resources needed to create a lasting and memorable tribute.
48