THE NET REAL HELP FOR REAL LIFE VOL. 1 • NO. 8 • October 2008 Soul Ties THE NET Making Ends Meet Grown Men Aren’t Supposed to Cry: But Should They? Unveil The Mask of Depression Strengthening families OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF Inspiring CONTENT Publisher’s Article.................................................4 Kid’s Corner: part 1..............................................5 Soul Ties..............................................................6 Fabulous Faith During Failing Times......................8 The Women of Baptist General Convention Gets New President ..............................................9 The Unfolding Story - A Journey of Faith...............10 God Moments ....................................................11 Poems................................................................12 Bible Trivia.........................................................13 2 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 Grown Men Aren’t Supposed to Cry: But Should They? Unveil The Mask of Depression............................14 Making Ends Meet..............................................16 What Think Ye of Christ .....................................17 National Preparedness Month...............................18 Strengthening Families........................................19 Saving Money Should Not Mean Not Saving Your Health.............................................20 Kid’s Corner: part 2 ...........................................21 The Day of Atonement.........................................22 Professional Development Series Seminar Interviewing Skills...............................................23 ON THE COVER: Sunday morning praise at St. Paul. Publisher | Alma Brown Editor | Bridgette Heard Contributing Writers & Editors Mavis Armmer | Rogers Turner, Jr. Veronica Walker | Adrienne Williams ShaLonda Knox | Denise Jackson Lori Brown | Barry Anderson Rachel Coleman | Kristie Hubbard | Jay Walton Don Knox | Cassandra Anderson Photography | Elijah T. Sansom Graphic Design | Feldman Printing, Inc. A Publication of St. Paul Baptist Church 603 W. Nebraska Ave. Phone: (309) 686-2086 | Fax: (309) 686-8020 The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 3 REAL HELP for REAL LIFE by Alma Brown, Publisher A couple of years ago, I went to Florida to a Paula White Ministries Women’s Conference. It was truly a moving experience. We listened intently to Bishop Noel Jones, Joyce Meyers, Darlene Bishop and Paula White as they shared God’s powerful messages of faith. Darlene Bishop said something that really stuck with me. She said, “We should begin each day by saying good morning God.” Thank you for blessing me to see another day.” What a perfect way to start our day! I make it a priority to begin my day by giving thanks to God and reading Our Daily Bread. Allow me to quote a page from The Daily Bread that really spoke to me. Augustine said that God “judged it better to bring good out of evil, than to permit any evil to exist.” Thus God takes the worst evil that men and women can do to us and turns it into good. “Even the wrath of ungodly men brings praise to Him” (Psalms 76:10). God has not promised that your life will be easy --- indeed it may not be. But He has promised to sustain you in your struggle and uphold you with His mighty arm. If you trust Him, He will empower you to make your way bravely through extraordinary difficulty with faith, hope, and love. The trials God permits in your life will lead to His praise and glory, if only you abide in Him. 4 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 God will not allow you to be pressed beyond endurance. This is His sure promise. When the lesson has been learned, when the revelation of God’s glory is complete and your soul has been tried and proven --- then God will raise His hand and save you. He will say, “No more.” When He leads through some valley of trouble, His omnipotent hand we trace; For the trials and sorrows He sends us Are part of His lessons of grace. In every desert of trial, God has an oasis of comfort. If you believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, then you should get rid of the thought that the things you want won’t come to pass. I’ve said it before, but my favorite scripture is Ephesians 3:20,21, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (NKJV) That scripture is so powerful. Every time I read or hear it I smile and reflect on the goodness of God. All I have to do is call on the name of Jesus and he will answer my prayers. When I think of The Unfolding Story and the faith journey we have begun, I think about Ephesians 3:20,21. God is about to bless St. Paul with an expanded facility to do His will. This new facility is for the advancement of God’s Kingdom. It’s up to us to stay in prayer and step forward in faith to help the vision of a new facility to become a reality. Put your faith in God and He will give you the desires of your heart. corner KID’S Find the Bible Words! by Ann Woodbury Moore The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 5 Soul TIES by Lori Brown Before you read this article on Soul Ties I encourage you to go to the Lord and ask Him to reveal to you how this applies to your life and to reveal the soul ties that are binding you. Ask Him to reveal to you even deeper insights. Let this article be the first step toward you being set free. Additionally, ask God to prepare you to go forth and teach our younger generation all about the dangers of ungodly or sexual soul ties. As we know, sex among teenagers is running rampant, and they need to be taught to keep themselves pure and free. Being soul tied to others scatters the soul and will keep them in bondage to many. It is time for us as believers to take authority over these bondages and to pray for our young people. It is time to possess our souls back from the enemy. Our teens need to know that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. No one but Jesus can fill the void that people long for. Soul ties are exactly what they sound like. They are ties from one person’s soul (mind, will, emotions); to another person’s soul that cause confusion and disorder. The Bible says, “Where you find disorder, there is every kind of evil” James 3:16. Chaos and confusion bring in evil. It causes an inability to think clearly and make decisions and/or see things the way God sees them. Soul ties affect our ability to receive (hear from God) before they affect our ability to give. It’s like a horse with a bit in its mouth that can be controlled by pulling its reins to the left or right. That’s how a soul tie will affect you. Part of you may be telling yourself to go left, but the other part is pulling you to the right. Something is overriding your willpower to do what is right. Left vs. right, faith vs. flesh, it’s a constant back and forth struggle. “I’m not going to call him”, or “I won’t cheat on my wife again”, both are examples of the torment caused by a soul tie. The Bible says in James 1:7, 8, “an unstable person ought not to think he’ll receive anything from the Lord.” How can God bless us if we are constantly wavering between right and wrong? A curse or a soul tie can cause that wavering. Even if a person has every intention of stopping the behavior, they can’t because their willpower is being overridden. This 6 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 causes guilt, shame, and condemnation – all sent by the enemy as Satan is the accuser of the brethren – and he loves it because it keeps you from hearing from God and takes you off the path of receiving all that God has for you. The enemy uses something in your past to cut off your future. He’s trying to keep you from your destiny and your future generations from theirs. If you are always bitter, angry, thinking of the past, feeling rejected, or constantly meditating on another person or thing, you are probably tied to that person or that thing. You need to become “UNtied”. If it is a person you are tied to, you need to become untied from that person so you can be properly “tied” to your God-appointed spouse. HOW UNGODLY SOUL TIES DEVELOP By vows we make •What we speak or declare. Do not be quick with your mouth, when you make a vow to God, keep it (Ecclesiastes 5:2-7). Jesus taught about vows and said don’t make any vows! “Just say a simple yes, I will or no, I won’t. Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” Matthew 5:33-37 •The enemy wants us to make vows and break them to bring a curse upon our lives. •We have to be careful of what we say. IF WE SAY IT, WE PRAY IT. In Numbers 14:26-28, God said to Moses regarding the children of Israel, “As truly as I live….that which you have spoken, so shall I do.” •The power of life and death are in the tongue. We either speak life into something or we speak death, blessings or curses. Proverbs 18:21, James 3:10 •If we make a vow involving another person, we are tied to that person. Ideally, when we make a vow with our spouse, we are tied to that person, which is good. An example of a bad tie through a vow would be “I will never speak to you again”. A bond has now been formed causing a connection between you and the person you never wanted to speak with again. That person now has part of you. Is that really what you want? I doubt it! Fornication – sex outside of marriage •Every time we become one flesh with a person to whom we are not married, we leave “cookies” (a computer term) behind – traces of ourselves that show where we’ve been. Now we are connected to him/her and everyone they have ever slept with. •There was something roaming and looming in the spirit of this individual that you hooked up with and now that problem has transferred to you. •You might have had the “hook up” ten years ago and now that “thing” which has been dormant for years wakes up and causes problems. It could be a spirit of anything. •When a person has sex outside of marriage, part of him stays with her and part of her stays with him. You cannot give 100% of yourself to the mate God has chosen for you because part of you is gone. You have to get it back! •A person could be divorced but still thinking about the ex. A man might still nurture his ex and a woman might continue to be drawn to her ex, even if he was abusive to her (generational curse). Pornography •Causes a spell or fantasy through a sexual memory Prolonged time with intimate dialogue – i.e.…boss/ secretary or co-workers •A connection is made through conversation •Their thoughts, attitudes and desires are being dropped into your soul and you don’t even know it. •Soon, you begin to think the way they think and desire what they desire. •Don’t have prolonged, deep conversations with just anybody Gifts of sentimental value •Things that arouse emotions, desires, thoughts, or feelings •The gift or item means something to you and can control (influence) you. The gift is connected to your soul. •It could be pictures of a deceased person that cause grief all over again, or a picture of an old boyfriend/ girlfriend. •Clothing •Music (that special song) •Jewelry As you can see, soul ties can be either godly or ungodly and develop in a variety of ways. Praise God, our heavenly Father has yet again made a way for us to break these ungodly ties and be repositioned to receive all the good He has for us. Below is a prayer you can recite out loud to break the soul ties that have hindered you and your relationships. Thankfully, once the soul tie is broken, the connection is broken and the confusion is gone. Remember, the Lord wants all His children to be free so that we can give Him every part of ourselves. Spending time with Him and being intimate with Him is an opportunity for Him to really speak to us. Break those ties that have hindered your relationship with Him and with others and don’t be too busy that you can’t give Him time, as this is when He reveals the deeper things of Himself. Prayer to break soul ties: (Pray this out loud!!) Before praying, do whatever is necessary for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to come. This is so important. Pray, wait, forgive, or worship. Once His presence and anointing is present, then proceed with the soul tie breaking prayer. It’s the anointing that breaks the yoke. The ties won’t break with a simple prayer from the mind. The anointed power of the Holy Spirit must be present to be effective. Father, I come before You right now in the name of Jesus. I know I’ve sinned because we’ve all sinned. But I know You love me so much that You sent Jesus Christ to pay the price in full for all my sin. I ask you to forgive me for all my sins. I give my life to you. Right now, I receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and my Savior. Satan, in the name of Jesus Christ, by the blood of Jesus, and through the power of the Cross, I bind you and command you to get out of my life. I reject you and your demons and command you to depart from my spirit, soul and body! In the name of Jesus I now renounce, break and loose myself from all demonic subjection and any ungodly soul ties and unhealthy bonding with the following people: (break soul ties with each person that comes to mind). Lord, I ask you to do whatever it takes to break me of my tendencies toward obsessive pre-occupations, domination, control, passivity, apathy, unforgiveness, anger, blame, accusations, fear, intimidation and disobedience in relationships. Thank you Father. Finally, in the name of Jesus, I declare every demonic hold in my life that has come as a result of unhealthy soul ties or generational curses null and void. In Jesus’ name, Amen. The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 7 Fabulous Faith DURING FAILING TIMES by Denise Jackson As people in the United States experience record home foreclosures and economic downfall, one St. Paul Baptist Church member uses what Rev. Deveraux Hubbard calls “fabulous faith during failing times” to buy a brand new home. If that weren’t enough, LeVon “Bonnie” Young, the 52year old single mother of four, beat the odds by overcoming an insurmountable health challenge she faced earlier when it was not the site Habitat initially offered her. “I would come by the lot daily and say God I want that lot”, she said. Little did she know that divine intervention was at work as Young drove by the location for two months, each time declaring it the site she wanted. “My sponsor called me and said we got two lots. She told me go to Sheridan and Hanssler and look at it and see if that’s the one I want. I got the exact lot in March, “ she said. this year. In April of this year as the ground began thawing from the winter, Young and Gina Holesome watched the groundbreaking for their new homes which are less than two blocks apart. As Habitat program participants, they were each required to volunteer 350 hours towards construction on the buildings. Young did not anticipate there would be any problem getting that accomplished but got some disturbing news from her doctor a month later. She was diagnosed with an aneurysm in her heart. The episode began when Young experienced severe headaches two or three times a week that sent her to the hospital on many occasions. During one visit, Young complained of chest pain after taking medication. Hospital staff conducted a C-T scan and discovered the aneurysm. On October 8th Habitat for Humanity in partnership with Caterpillar Global Mining and the City of Peoria presented keys to Young during the house blessing in the basement of her three bedroom home. Surrounded by Habitat workers, board members, Caterpillar employees, friends, family and church members a grateful Young expressed her appreciation. “They sent me to a specialist and did an angiogram. I said what can I do. I’m in the process of building my home and I want this so bad! He said you can’t do anything strenuous, it could pop. I could die,” she explained. “They monitored me. My blood pressure rose so high I could hear mucus forming in my nasal area. I could hear my eyes blink. I knew that was not normal”. “I don’t feel like I did this. I just feel grateful that so many people stepped forward,” she said. In the meantime, church leaders announced that volunteers were needed to help Young because she was not able to do it. Caterpillar employees, Habitat volunteers, church members, friends and family all pitched in to help complete It’s been a long journey for Young. Two years ago she cast her vote on the Hanssler Street location but was disappointed 8 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 was the time for me to see the surgeon again. I stayed awake all night Friday praying and telling God I don’t want no surgery! Saturday I got ready. I told myself I don’t want to go to the doctor. Something said you gotta go,” she explained. Once settled in the doctor’s office he went over the results of her tests. “He said your blood work is okay.” He was looking at the results of tests taken on my chest. He said, “I don’t see it.” He said it like he didn’t want me to hear. I said, “you don’t see what?” He said, “I don’t see the aneurysm.” I knew it was God. Who else? the work. Young could only watch when she visited the work site and staff made sure that’s all she did. Habitat Construction Coordinator Mike Trent said, “I was concerned for her. We were all praying for her. She is the most appreciative person I’ve ever worked for.” Doctors told Young she would have to undergo surgery. With no guarantees of a full recovery, she worried. “I had been going back and forth to the doctor. June 13th Bonnie said that the doctor checked again in July and took another C-T scan. They have no explanation for what happened. I said, “Lord you have blessed me to have a home.” I was telling Him, “you gave me the lot I asked for.” I needed to be here to see this. You’ve got some more work for me to do,” she said. Bonnie was able to get tools back in her hand and work along side the crew building her home. Her faith was tested and tried and is proof that, God’s promises remain true The Women of Baptist General Convention GETS NEW PRESIDENT The women’s department of the Baptist General Convention gets a new livelihood in Beverly Johnson Thomas. She was elected as the new president June 8, 2008 at the Baptist General Convention. Mrs. Thomas is the first woman’s president from Central, IL. Her platform was “Bee” ye Steadfast, Unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord! Possessing her Emblem the black and yellow “Bee” to symbolize working continuously for the Lord; she clenched the women’s Presidential Position. Mrs. Thomas’s youthfulness for working enhances the women of the state to know what she is about: first, helping the women to look and trust in God for all things; Second, teaching them to never be ashamed to share their testimonies whenever given the opportunity; and third, to cause others to take ownership of knowing God as a just and “loving God!” Mrs. Thomas has great plans to modernize methods and goals, to encourage and promote the witnesses of Christian Women in the home, church and community. The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 9 The Unfolding Story Continues... On Sunday, August 10th, St. Paul Baptist Church came together as a family to worship and celebrate its one-year anniversary of the Lifestyle Capital Stewardship Campaign, The Unfolding Story. The anniversary service was held down on the Peoria Riverfront at the CEFCU Soundstage. A Journey of Faith by Barry & Cassandra Anderson That day began with much excitement as the Ushers and Greeters ministries and the angelic sounds of the Praise Team and choir greeted the people. Boaters along the Illinois River even stopped to enjoy the praise and worship and to hear the sermon. Pastor Hannah led us in our Commitment Response Litany with a reminder that “We will not offer God that which costs us nothing and we will build the temple for spiritual growth and eternal victory”. Dr. Herman Norman, our professional consultant on Lifestyle Stewardship from the Generis Corporation, provided words of encouragement to the congregation and ensured us of his continued support. The day concluded with Pastor Hubbard providing the message, “Faith is the Answer”. He reminded us that in order to have “Fabulous Faith in Failing Times”; we have to have Faith that follows. The Unfolding story is not about the money, it’s about following God so people will be blessed through a ministry at St. Paul from people who had faith and a willingness to follow God. This journey, which began on July 1, 2007, marked the beginning of a 3-year commitment of sacrificial giving. During this time, members were asked to sacrificially commit and give above their tithes and offering to the building of God’s Kingdom as He has placed on their hearts. 10 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 Everyone has a part that they can play as we move closer to equipping St. Paul and the community for Kingdom work. No commitment or giving amount is too small as the giving is not as important as the sacrifice. Ultimately, the goal of the Unfolding Story is to raise our faith in GOD and obedience to GOD through sacrifice so that we may serve Him by serving others. Through serving we pray that people will be transformed with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. So as one chapter closes and another begins, we encourage everyone to be a part of this faith journey. We ask everyone to put their trust in God and watch their level of faith be raised as God proves He is who He says He is and He will do what He said do according to His Word. If you have not done so, we strongly urge and encourage you to pray and seek GOD to determine what he would have you to do for His Glory. “I will not offer God that which costs me nothing”. II Samuel 24:24 God MOMENTS Losing a mother has been one of the hardest and devastating situations that I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. My mother was my BEST FRIEND in the world. I talked to her at least ten times per day and spent time with her on a daily basis, that’s without exaggeration. I thank God for giving me my sister, my brother, nieces, Godchildren, close friends, my Annie Evans mother’s only sister Peggy Wise and her cousin Jocie Randle for helping me in some real tough times. Everyday that goes by I think of her and the fun we used to have. Every time I hear a person say “My mother is getting on my nerves” or they don’t want to deal with them on certain issues I quickly tell them “Enjoy it now and do all you can because when they’re gone, they’re gone”. The first step I made when my mom passed was getting reacquainted with my relationship with GOD. No Doctor or medicines could heal my hurt and pain during her loss. Getting back on track with GOD makes my days a lot easier than when she first passed away. For those that still have a mother living, my advice to you is to try and talk to them as much as you can everyday and spend as much quality time as possible so when they’re gone you’ll have no regrets. Tammi Evans Words cannot express the devastation of losing a loved one such as a mother. It would be beyond realization to expect what I felt could be expressed in a few words. The emptiness that comes from knowing that the person who nurtured you through your childhood, rescued you when you needed it, picked you up when you stumbled, corrected you when you were wrong, supported you through your accomplishments and encouraged you when you were down cannot be measured or explained in a few words. What keeps me going is my faith, relationship with Christ, and loving family. I think of what my mom would expect of me and reflect back on the instructions she gave me during her final hours. My advice to others would be to love your mother with all your heart, cherish the moments when she may seem to be annoying, and take time out of your schedules to do the little things that count for her. Because at some point you too, like me and so many others, will wish you could just have one more day with your mom. Alfreida DeGroot I’m a person of few words, but I can tell you that my Mom was a person of great faith. She use to mail me her thoughts periodically to read. I didn’t know what impact her thoughts would have on my life but since she passed I have crossed many hurdles. Now I pray everyday. Every morning I sing my Mom’s favorite songs and now I’m a member of St. Paul Baptist church. I know I may not have been all that I could be, but I know she loved me with all her heart and she’s smiling down at me. Palmer Evans Jr. The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 11 by Mavis Armmer POEMS Hail the Lord God Almighty Praise to the Lord on High Hail the Lord God Almighty. Hail Him, who is enthroned above the heavens, who reigns forevermore. Hail Him, ye angels. Hail Him, ye shinning moon and stars. Hail Him, ye radiant sun. Hail Him, all ye, who soar among the clouds. Hail Him, all ye, who dwell in waters deep. Hail Him, ye sovereign kings. Hail Him, ye poor and lowly. Hail Him, all ye foundations. Hail Him, ye heights and depths. Hail Him, all ye grand and small creation. Hail Him, all ye, who have life and breath. Hail the Lord of all nations. Splendor and glory are before Him. Hail the beauty of His holy Name. The Lord’s Name is everlasting. It will never be forgotten. His Kingdom remains throughout eternity. Worthy is the Lord, whose lovingkindness never grows weary, whose strength never fails. Praise to the Lord on high Lift up the King of creation. Behold Him, ye earth and sky, worthy of our adoration. Hail Majesty, whose blood washed away all our sins. Worship eternally Jesus, our holy Redeemer and Friend. Hail Majesty, whose girded with power, whose might abounds through all ages. Hail Him, ye generations. Hail the Light, who will never grow dim. Hail Him in honor and praise. Yes, Hail the Lord God Almighty. Hail Him, who is enthroned above the heavens, who reigns forevermore. Worthy is the Lord Almighty, worshiped throughout all ages. Great is His infinite glory. All creation stands amazed. 12 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 Praise to the Lord on high. O ye praise and adore Him. All creatures draw humbly nigh. Bow in reverence before Him. Worthy is the Lamb, sovereign above all royalty. Praise Him throughout the lands. Forever exalt the Almighty. Hallelujah, our Jesus is worthy. Throughout all ages, He is to be glorified. Hallelujah, our Jesus is holy. Praise to the Lord on high! O praise to the Lord on high! Hallelujah, Our King is Exalted No one is like the Lord our Savior, ruling with all power and authority. No other is clothed in glorious splendor, enthroned for all eternity. Hallelujah, our King is exalted. Proclaim His holy name, ye earth and sky. Hallelujah, Majesty is forever exalted. Praise Him, who reigns on high. Behold the Wondrous Cross Behold the wondrous Cross, where Jesus suffered for me. Behold precious blood flowing down from the Sinless Son, hanging on a tree. Conquering sin, conquering death, No earthly grave could hold Him down. The Lamb, who drew His final breath, sits enthroned, adorned, and crowned. As I behold o’er and o’er Jesus dying on Calvary, All earthly things I adore, I lay down before holy Majesty. Come, You, sinners, poor and weary. Come, You sinners, burdened and lost. There is hope and peace before Thee. Come, behold the wondrous Cross. Forever My Savior Reigns Forever my Savior reigns, all glorious above the highest praise. My soul joins in the holy refrain, exalting the King of all my days. Forever Majesty is worthy. My lips will faithfully proclaim His precious love and tender mercy. O hail the power of His Name. Hallelujah, let every saint rejoice. Let every knee bow down. Sing with one humble voice. Declare the Lord’s renown. He who leads me, who through various trials sustains, is ascribed all honor and glory. Forever my Savior reigns. Jesus, You Never Fail Sometimes I hang my head down and cry, feeling alone, as people pass me by. I pray to You from my own living hell, knowing Jesus, You never fail. All the sorrows and sadness that unfolds is more than my weary soul can hold. My heart, although beating, is cold and frail. Remind Jesus, You never fail. I will sing of You, O King of glory, and fall down as I behold the holiness of Your majesty. I will exalt You above all earth holds. You are more than my mind can fathom. Throughout all ages, You will prevail. Everlasting is Your glorious Kingdom. My tongue proclaims, “Jesus, You never fail.” BIBLETrivia What animal is most mentioned in both the old and new Testament? The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 13 GROWN MEN AREN’T SUPPOSED TO CRY: But Should They? Unveil the Mask of Depression. by Shalonda Knox, RN, BSN The stigma still exists: “real men” do not whine about their physical, mental, or emotional problems. They work it out, suck it up or walk it off. Some men learn to overvalue independence and self-control during childhood. Therefore, when the day arrives that one enters into adulthood there is a certain element of pride that ones undertakes also along with this role. Through tradition, certain responsibilities also come with being the ‘man of the house’. Many of these are routine things: being the primary or joint earner, being Mr. fix-it, doing the heavy lifting, checking the car oil, doing the mowing etc. Other responsibilities enable a man to compliment or be a buffer to others in the home, such as having a second opinion to that of his spouse, staying consistent with rules & helping to uphold values or standards in the household. Men are expected to be able to cope with stressful situations, look like they are in control, know what they are doing at all times and always remain the problem solver. Men command authority from the kids and have general respect within the family. Men who are suffering from depression are more likely to talk about the physical symptoms of their depression than the emotional and psychological ones. This may be one reason why doctors sometimes do not diagnose it. Often by learned traditions, and pre-conceived ideas of the male figure within the family just exist. Men play their part and mostly follow along with these expectations and because of this some men find it difficult to express themselves emotionally, or struggle to find an outlet during times of pressure and difficulty coping. Men Get Depressed! The truth is, (shhh not too loudly) men can get depressed! As infallible as they seem (I know, it is true!), men can really struggle at times. Sometimes it is for minor reasons like boredom or age, unfulfilled at work, coming to terms with not realizing childhood dreams, or money matters. What is Depression? Depression is a serious medical condition that affects the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way one eats and sleeps. It affects how one thinks about things and one’s self perception. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition one can will or wish away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely “pull themselves together” and get better. 14 –The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 What are the signs and symptoms of Depression? • Feel unhappy, miserable, down, depressed can’t enjoy anything • Can not concentrate properly • Feel guilty about things that have nothing to do with you • Become pessimistic • Start to feel hopeless and perhaps even suicidal • Can not get to sleep and wake early in the morning and/or throughout the night • Loose interest in sex • Cannot eat • Lose weight • Perform less well at work • Seem unusually quiet and unable to talk about things • Worry about things more than usual • Are more irritable than usual • Complain more about vague physical problems •Are not looking after themselves properly, do not bother to shave, wash hair, or clothes How is depression different for men? There is no evidence for a completely separate type of ‘male depression’. However, there is evidence that some symptoms of depression are more common in men than in women. These include: • irritability • sudden anger • increased loss of control • greater risk-taking • aggression • Men are also more likely to commit suicide Helping Men Many men find it difficult to ask for help when they are depressed, it can feel unmanly and weak. It may be easier for men to ask for help if those who give that help take into account men’s special needs. Men have found depression easier to talk about if they relate it to the result of chemical changes in the brain and/or as the inevitable cost of living in a demanding and difficult world. Not that it is a sign of being weak or unmanly. With the use of medications, and the proper therapy depression can be treated. If a depressed man is married, or in a steady relationship –– his partner should be involved so that she/he can understand what is happening. This will make it less likely for the depression to interfere with their relationship. Some men do not feel comfortable talking about themselves so they may be reluctant to consider psychotherapy. However, it is a powerful way of relieving depression and works well for many men. Although more men are seeking professional help to overcome mental health issues, they often still feel stigmatized by society as being weak. In mainstream society, depression and mental illness are still somewhat taboo subjects. In the African-American community, these topics are completely shrouded in secrecy. As a result, millions of black men are suffering in silence or getting treatment only in extreme circumstances– in emergency rooms, homeless shelters, and prisons. This myth has damaged generations of African American men and their families and has created a society that blames black men for being violent and aggressive without considering that depression might be a root cause. It’s hard for us to shake the old ideas: Real men don’t cry, and are always in control of their feelings. But it’s time to put this new idea into the list: A lot of real men do get depressed. If you think you’re one of them, be a real man and take care of yourself. Ask for help, and get treated for depression. You deserve to feel better and with treatment, there is every reason to believe you soon will. FISHERS of MEN RADIO SHOW Listen. Be transformed. WVEL 1140 AM Sundays at 12:00 pm Monday thru Friday at 10:15 am The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 15 MAKING Ends Meet by Jay Walton For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, in their eagerness to get rich, have wandered away from the faith and caused themselves a lot of pain. – 1 Timothy 6:10 (International Standard Version) This verse has proven to be a powerful statement of today’s society. With this in mind, St. Paul Baptist Church launched a new budgeting class in September titled “Making Ends Meet” which is built on the text Making Ends Meet: Budgeting Made Easy authored by Larry Burkett with Brenda Armstrong. The four-week course explores many different facets of budgeting from a spiritual and practical perspective. The course also parallels Pastor Hubbard’s current four-week sermon series on “Is Money Really the Problem?”. The Making Ends Meet course promotes an interactive atmosphere from classroom discussion, reading and selfassessment. The journey begins with an opportunity to understand the value of money and to explore the concepts that shape attitudes about money. If we had more money we would…? Are we addicted to money? Are we “foolish” or “faithful” with our spending? Ultimately, the class is motivated to find the conclusion that true wealth is knowing that: •God created everything – Genesis 1:1 •God owns everything – Psalm 24:1 •We are trustees – Corinthians 4:21 At first glance, this may seem easy but establishing a financial plan (i.e. budget) and sticking to your plan is the key. The positive news is that we have God as our foundation. He loves us and He wants the best for us. Therefore, we can cast those fears and doubts aside and put Him first in our thoughts and hearts. This is why the Making Ends Meet: Budgeting Made Easy text uses the following prayer to turn lives and frustrations over to God: Dear Father God, I want my life to be different. I realize there are things that are more important than money. I want to learn to put my trust in You for all my needs. Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to die for my sins. I receive that gift of salvation. Thank You for making me Once this foundation is established, discussion is facilitated part of the family of God. Now, take my life, and make around fears and doubts regarding money. It is these fears something beautiful out of it. and doubts that lead to financial bondage. Recognizing financial bondage allows one to see financial freedom and Another key purpose of the Making Ends Meet budgeting financial freedom can be obtained in eight steps according class is to educate and entertain those who are interested in improving their financial situation. The course gets into to the text. the details of how students should start or enhance their 1. Transfer Ownership (to God) financial state of affairs. Arming Christians with additional 2. Get Out of Debt tools to succeed financially is absolutely necessary since 3. Establish a Tithe temptations are lurking around every corner (i.e. easy loan 4. Accept What God Provides businesses, blowout sales, unnecessary credit cards, state 5. Put Others First lotteries, etc.) Putting Him first in everything we do and 6. Avoid Indulgence say…including budgeting…is key to any and every successful 7. Avoid Snap Decisions financial plan. 8. Seek Wise Counsel 16 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 WHAT THINKYe of Christ? (Matt. 22.42) by Rogers Turner Jr. Kregel Study Bible “King of the Jews” (wise men from the east. Matt 2.2) “Mightier than I” (John the Baptist. matt 3.11) “Son of God” (demons. Matt 8.29) “The carpenter’s son” (His fellow countrymen. Matt 13.55) “John the Baptist” (Herod and others. Matt 14.2, Matt 16.14) “The Son of God” (They that were in the ship. Matt 14.33) “ Elijah” (some. Matt 16.14) “Jeremiah” (others. Matt 16.14) “One of the prophets” (some men. Matt 16.14) “The Christ, the Son of God” (Peter. Matt 16.16) “The Christ, the Son of God” (Martha. John 11.27) “My beloved Son” (God the Father. Matt 17.5) “Good Master” (a certain ruler. Matt 19.16) “The prophet of Nazareth” (the multitude. Matt 21.11) “The carpenter, the son of Mary” (many hearing Him. Mark 6.3) “The Salvation… a light… the glory” (Simeon. Luke 2.30,32) “Joseph’s son” (all in the synagogue. Luke 4.22) “A great Prophet” (all witnessing the raising of widow’s son. Luke 7.16) “A prophet mighty in deed and word” (the two going to Emmaus. Luke 24.19) “The Lamb of God” (John the Baptist. John 1.29) “The Messias” (Andrew. John 1.41) “The Son of God,…the King of Israel” (Nathanael. John 1.49) “A Teacher come from God” (Nicodemus. John 3.2) “A prophet” (a woman of Samaria. John 4.19) “Jesus, the son of Joseph” (the Jews. John 6.42) “A Samaritan” and having a demon (the Jews. John 8.48) “A prophet” (the blind man. John 9.17) “The King of Israel” (much people. John 12.13) The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 17 NATIONALPreparedness MONTH by Don Knox , CPP, CITRMS Preparedness is a key item that all Americans should consider at home, at work, at school and at church. September is National Preparedness Month (NPM). NPM and the Ready Campaign began in 2003. 2008 marks the fifth annual NPM. NPM is Sponsored by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s (DHS) Ready Campaign, and with support from Coalition Members across the nation, NPM is held each September to increase public awareness about emergency preparedness and is designed to encourage Americans to take simple steps to prepare for emergencies in their homes, businesses and communities before they happen. During the month, people are encouraged to participate by hosting activities and initiatives. In 2007, more than 1,800 organizations joined the Ready Campaign as Coalition Members, making it the most successful year to date. “National Preparedness Month is an important reminder about each American’s civic responsibility to prepare for emergencies,” said Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. “Those with the capacity and wherewithal to help themselves must do so in advance, so that in the event of an emergency, responders can first assist those who are unable to tend to themselves. From wildfires and earthquakes in California, to hurricanes and tropical storms along the Gulf Coast, to flooding in the Midwest, recent events remind us more than ever that we must prepare ourselves and our families for a disaster. This is the time, each year, when every American should ask the question, ‘Am I ready?’” Ready is a national public service advertising campaign designed to educate and empower Americans to prepare for and respond to emergencies including natural disasters and potential terrorist attacks. The goal of the campaign is to get the public involved and ultimately to increase the level of basic preparedness across the nation. Citizen Corps brings together community, emergency and government leaders to involve community members in emergency preparedness, planning, mitigation, response and recovery. More than 2,200 state, local, tribal and territorial governments in all 56 states and U.S. territories have formed Citizen Corps Councils, and every day new Councils are formed in communities around the country. 18 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 These Councils enable collaborative planning between government and civic leaders and provide localized support for: outreach and educational efforts to the public; training and exercises that effectively integrate emergency responders, volunteers with a response role, and the general public; and volunteer programs that augment the full range of emergency response services. National Preparedness Month the Ready Campaign and Citizen’s Corps prompt focus on four main steps: • Get an emergency supply kit • Make a family emergency plan • Be informed • Get involved When putting together and emergency supply kit there are standard items that you should include: • Water: At least one gallon per person per day • Food: At least a three day supply of non-perishable food •Battery powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather radio with extra batteries • Flashlight: Including extra batteries • First Aid Kit: • Whistle: to signal for help • Dust Mask: to help filter contaminates air • Tools: Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities • Can Opener: Manual can opener • Local Maps: For navigation There are also some additional items to consider: • Prescription medications and glasses • Infant formula and diapers • Pet food and extra water for pets • Important documents such as insurance policies and backing information • Cash • Sleeping bag or warm blanket per person • Extra clothing • Household chlorine bleach and medicine dropper • Fire extinguisher • Personal hygiene items • Mess kits, plates, plastic cups, plastic utensils, paper towels • Paper, pens and pencils • Books, games, puzzles When making a family emergency plan there are several items to include: •A family meeting place that everyone will go to if there is an emergency • An out of town contact in case local phone lines are down • All necessary phone numbers as well as coins or a prepaid telephone calling card Be informed of the local emergencies that may affect you: • Get information about the type of emergencies that are common for your area • Find out what emergency plans have been established by your local and state government, workplace, child’s school and church The Strengthening Families classes are a joint partnership between St. Paul Baptist Church and White Oaks Youth and Community Services. The classes are hosted at St. Paul on Wednesday nights from 5:30pm to 7:30pm. The classes are open to all parents of middle or high school students and their children. During each session, families are fed a nutritious meal during which they are encouraged to sit and Get involved in with preparedness efforts in your community: • Volunteer to serve as an emergency preparedness advocate in one of Citizens Corps programs such as Neighborhood Watch, Volunteers in Policing Service (VIPS), Fire Corps (FC), Medical Reserve Corps (MRC) or Community Emergency Response Teams (CERT) Remember, preparedness is an important item no matter where you are including home, work, school or church. For more information visit the following websites: • www.ready.gov • www.citizencorps.gov eat together at their own private “family table”. After dinner, parents participate in classes that teach them better ways to communicate with their children, how to set boundaries and how to help their children set and reach goals. While the parents are in class, the students participate in classes that teach self-discipline, goal-setting, handling peer-pressure, and communication skills. The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 19 Should Not Mean SAVING MONEY NOT SAVING YOUR HEALTH by Shalonda Knox, RN, BSN Americans today are facing one of the most critical economic crises and are making cutbacks in day-to-day spending. Television, radio and internet are flooded daily with people not being able to make their mortgage, buy food, gasoline, and medications becoming often finding themselves becoming physically ill. When you are making cuts, and slimming down your budget, remember you never want to skimp when it comes to your health. Fortunately, there are ways to get well and stay that way for less. Yet finding ways to cut back has become an imperative. • When you get home, remove your clothes immediately and shower to get rid of the pollen that has attached itself to your clothes, skin and hair. • Often the worst enemies may be your best friends. Many people let pets sleep not only in the room but also in the bed. Go to Sleep Early Researchers have long reported that six to eight solid hours of lights out is critical for optimal brain functioning and a healthy immune system. Remember it is not the number of hours that one gets but it is quality of sleep. • Habitually taking sleeping pills and painkillers is not such a great idea either, Walker adds. They may knock you out at bedtime, but the flat, dreamless sleep they often induce does not generally provide the healing and repair your mind and body craves. Drop Your Gym Membership Who needs to pay hundreds of dollars to work out? Why not rent exercise DVDs, or break out the old VCR and dust off those VHS tapes? Alternatively, one can make your living room a yoga studio a few nights out of the week. The only thing you risk losing is the camaraderie you can find at the gym. Nevertheless, that is easy to re-create at home. Take Advantage of Free Screenings Reduce Your Need for Allergy Meds It has been stated by many researchers that one of the most common mistakes allergy sufferers make is to keep stacks of books and magazines, stuffed animals, decorative pillows and other “dust-mite breeding grounds” in the bedroom. Dust mites are the leading cause of indoor, yearlong allergies. Outdoor allergens such as ragweed, leaf molds and often harbingers during the fall. • As good as it feels to sleep with your windows open to the sound of breezes rustling the trees that might be why you wake up with a puffy, drippy face. Simple remedy: Close your windows and turn on a fan. • If you are a jogger, jog in the evening - because pollen counts are higher in morning. 20 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 With so many of us working full-time yet under insured or uninsured, it is easy to let things go. Like that little mole on your arm that seems to have grown bigger this summer. You do not need us to tell you that letting it go is not a good idea. • If you have a history of skin cancer, spend a lot of time in the sun or have a suspicious mole, you really need to make a habit of getting your skin checked for skin cancer -insurance or no insurance. • “See Spot, Check Spot” is the slogan of the American Center for Dermatology. It has collaborated with dermatologists across the country to offer free screenings. Just go to the extremely user-friendly www.melanomamonday.org to find a convenient location. corner KID’S June 14, 2008 The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 21 THE DAYof ATONEMENT Your appointment to be blessed by God! by Lori Brown God wants His people blessed!! Unfortunately, life circumstances get in and clutter our ability to hear God and to receive from God. Therefore, we are not in position to receive the blessings he has for us. But God is good. He yet again has made a way for us to get back into position to receive all that He has for us and all that we deserve. But we can’t miss our appointment with Him. Timing is everything. Just as we clean out the clutter in our house in the Spring, we must clean out the clutter in our spiritual house (our soul) in the Fall. On one special day, God gives you the opportunity to honor Him, to experience His presence, to release blessings and provision, and to be one with Him. The Day of Atonement is that day, and that appointment with God comes on October 9, 2008. The Day of Atonement is a Jewish holiday also known as Yom Kippur. What does a Jewish holiday have to do with us? Everything! Jesus, our Christ (the Anointed One), was a Jew. As Christians (followers of Christ) we have Jewish roots and should be aware of the holidays that Jesus observed and have a general understanding of what they were and why they were important. The Old Testament Book of Leviticus, written by Moses as inspired by God, gave the Levites (ministers of that day) their instructions for worship and provided the Hebrews with instructions for a holy walk with God. Part of this holy walk with God included worshiping him through celebrations (festivals) which were held and viewed as appointed times to celebrate God. The book also outlines three seasons which contain seven feasts. As Christians we’re familiar with Passover because that season includes our celebration of Easter, or more appropriately, Resurrection Sunday. We’re somewhat familiar with Pentecost, which is when the Hebrew’s were taught how to receive and live in God’s supernatural power. To Christians, that is the name of the season after the resurrection when the Holy Spirit descended upon believers of Christ. But the season we know the least about is the season of Tabernacles which includes the Day of Atonement. 22 – The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 The Day of Atonement is the holiest, most solemn, and most important of the Jewish holidays. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. Jews have traditionally observed this holiday with a 25-hour period of fasting and intensive prayer. As Christians we don’t need to celebrate these feasts to receive salvation. Praise God, Jesus already paid the complete price for us to be saved from both sin and death. However, God established the Day of Atonement as a way for us to become “at one” with Him again. This is an opportunity to become realligned with God after being drawn away from Him through sin. In Old Testatment times, the people received forgiveness for their sins only once each year which was on the Day of Atonement. Once Jesus died for our sins, we were given direct access to God and can (and should) ask daily for the forgiveness of our sins. Even though our sins are forgiven, there is “residue” left behind that negatively affects our soul (our mind, will and emotions). This “residue” turns into clutter that hinders our relationship with God. The Day of Atonement, through fasting, prayer, repentance, and offerings, is our appointment with God to become one again with Him. We should begin to think of the things for which you should ask God’s forgiveness. There could be ways we have offended others, mistakes we’ve made, lack of time spent with our family, poor decisions we have made, or perhaps decisions we failed to make. Whatever it is, take this opportunity God has given you to fast, seek Him, repent of your sins, and make a special offerring to Him. When you do this, His Word promises you will receive the reallignment you have needed to be properly placed in position to receive all the blessings God has for you. Don’t miss God’s divine appointment with you! May we all emerge from Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) with complete repentance and merit a year filled with happiness, health, and prosperity. God Bless Professional Development Series Seminar INTERVIEWINGSkills by Rogers Turner Jr. St. Paul Baptist church had its first Professional Development seminar recently for anyone wanting to improve their interviewing skill sets. The topic, Interviewing skills is quite intriguing. There are so many components which impact interviewing. When asked the proverbial question, “Tell me about yourself?” The question is centered around your (skillsets) as they relate to the job you are seeking so talk about how your experiences, and education can add value to the company via the job you could do for them. Most companies today are looking for good employees who fit their culture and use the interview as a way of assessing if a potential employee fits. So the interview is more about fit than anything else. Best idea? While applicants looking for an opportunity must be qualified, certified, educated, and experienced, companies are also looking to make sure you fit into their culture. Consider this, if you could not (shake) someone’s hand appropriately, 75 years ago, no one would do business with you. The reference was, your hand is a guide to your heart, thus a firm handshake! Anything less, meant your heart was iffy. When prospecting for a job, remember, connecting from a relationship standpoint is where you should point. The (fit) the employer is looking for goes for you to. As a job seeker, you should be making sure the potential employer you are investigating is right for you as well. Some helpful hints in your search: -Be early -Smile -Have a warm firm handshake -Have 3 copies of your credentials available (job determines how many) -Know the job you are applying for -Dress appropriately (depending on the job, dark suit, no flip-flops, etc..) -Know something about the company, ie. stock symbol, current stock price, -Refrain from perfume, or cologne -Practice your sales pitch. Know why you are applying for the job and how you will make an impact Salary. This question trips up more people and more jobs are even lost addressing the issue of salary. Companies are trying to get you for the least they can, while you are working to get the most you can. The answer is simple, focus on the fit. Here is a response which will stand the test of time. Question, what salary are you seeking? Answer-Lets focus on a good fit. If I am the candidate of choice and I want to be here, I believe salary will take care of itself. If the interviewer continues or presses on the salary issue, then respond, “is there a salary range you can share?” Do your homework so if this question does present itself, you will have an idea of how to respond. Never forget, one interview is not one interview. If you are good, the interviewer will tell everyone and conversely if you are bad, they will tell everyone. A good lasting impression goes a long way, and always send follow-up thank you cards whether you are selected as the candidate or not. Sometimes, if you are not the first choice and depending on how you handled yourself, you could be the 2nd choice and be contacted if the first person does not work out. The interview does not start when you set down to talk, the interview begins when you arrive on the premises of the business. Everyone you meet will/can have a say in your interview. Treat everyone like you would want to be treated and the process you go through will be fruitful. Preparation is a prescription for some success! The Net • Volume 1, No 8 • October 2008 – 23 GET CONNECTED www.spbaptist.org
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