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Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com
3/1/13
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Parents of transgender first-grader file
discrimination complaint
By Ed Payne and Ashley Fantz, CNN
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updated 8:50 AM EST, Thu February 28, 2013
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Part of complete c ov erage on
Transgender child's family fights school
Special Report: Bully ing
AC360 documentary: The Bully Effect
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
NEW: "The district firmly believes
it has acted reasonably and
fairly," its law yer says
Coy Mathis' parents file a
complaint under Colorado's AntiDiscrimination Act
Coy can no longer use the girls'
restroom at her elementary
school
The school district says Coy can
use other restrooms in the
school
Coy Mathis and her parents, Jeremy and Kathryn, will be guests on
"Starting Point" live Thursday in the 7 a.m. ET hour.
(CNN) -- A transgender rights group announced Wednesday that it
has filed a discrimination complaint in Colorado on behalf of a firstgrader who was born a boy but identifies as a girl.
The filing stems from a decision announced last December by
officials at Fountain-Fort Carson School District that Coy Mathis
could no longer use the girls' bathroom at Eagleside Elementary.
Mother Kathryn Mathis said she and her husband were shocked.
"We were very confused because everything was going so well, and
they had been so accepting, and all of a sudden it changed and it
was very confusing and very upsetting because we knew that, by
doing that, she was going to go back to being unhappy," she told
CNN. "It was going to set her up for a lot of bad things."
Coy was born with male sex organs but has identified as female
since she could express herself, her mother said. The child had
attended classes during her kindergarten year with no problems and
no complaints from anyone at the school, Mathis told reporters at
the Colorado Capitol in Denver, where she was flanked by her
husband, Jeremy, and four other children.
Wearing a girl's winter coat, Coy stood behind her
mother.
Mathis family: We need to protect Coy
Afraid bullies would make fun of her daughter, Kathryn
Mathis said she pulled Coy out of school during winter
break.
"In the end, we just want what is the best for Coy," Mathis
www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/index.html
"The Bully Effect," premiering
on CNN on February 28 at 10
p.m. ET follow s the personal
journeys of a number of kids
and parents profiled in the
documentary "Bully."
Our unhealthy lov e of reality TV bullying
updated 2:26 PM EST, Thu February 28, 2013
A red-faced Gordon Ramsay
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Cooper: Say no to bullying
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1/11
Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com
3/1/13
said about the complaint. "We want her to be able to go
back to school and be treated equally without
discrimination and harassment."
Transgender hoops player takes to court
Attorney Michael Silverman of the Transgender Legal
Defense and Education Fund, which is representing Coy,
said the complaint -- which was filed with the Colorado
Civil Rights Division -- is intended to have an impact
beyond a single family or school.
"For many transgender people, discrimination is a daily
part of life. Unfortunately for Coy, it has started very
early," he said, adding that the complaint is a "test of
Colorado's Anti-Discrimination Act."
Chaz Bono's emotional transition
"The world is going to be looking at the school," he said,
which can "send a message to the world and teach
tolerance, fair play and equal rights."
A girl's life
2011: Tammy and Mario: Gender journeys
For most of the past year, Coy has dressed as a girl.
Coy's passport and state-issued identification recognize her as
female.
Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are
Kathryn Mathis said she got a call "out of the blue" from the school
in December saying that Coy could use the boys' bathroom, genderneutral faculty bathrooms or the nurse's bathroom, but not the girls'
facilities.
The district "took into account not only Coy, but other students in
the building, their parents and the future impact a boy with male
genitals using a girls' bathroom would have as Coy grew older," a
letter the family's attorney received in December said.
"However, I'm certain you can appreciate that, as Coy grows older
and his male genitals develop along with the rest of his body, at
least some parents and students are likely to become uncomfortable
with his continued use of the girls' restroom."
In a statement Tuesday, the district's attorney, W. Kelly Dude, said:
"The district firmly believes it has acted reasonably and fairly with
respect to this issue. However, the district believes the appropriate
and proper forum for discussing the issues identified in the charge
is through the Division of Civil Rights process. The district is
preparing a response to the charge which it will submit to the
division. Therefore, the district will not comment further on this
matter out of respect for the process which the parents have
initiated."
"It's sad that the Mathis family had to file a civil rights complaint in
order for their daughter to be treated equally," said Herndon
Graddick, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against
Defamation, in a statement. "The students clearly aren't the only
people at this school who need more education."
A little-studied group
Transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex,
which is based on their anatomy, and their gender, which includes
behaviors, roles and activities, experts say.
For the general public, transgender identity may be a new concept,
though many might recall Chaz Bono, the child of entertainers
Sonny and Cher. Born female, Bono underwent a transition in his
40s to become a man. He wrote in his book "Transition" that, even
www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/index.html
E2
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updated 11:09 AM EST, Thu February 28, 2013
Brandon Turley didn't have
friends in sixth grade. He
w ould often eat alone at lunch,
having recently sw itched to his
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immediate.
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updated 1:13 AM EST, Tue February 26, 2013
Alex Libby overcame
traumatizing bullying at school.
His story is part of "The Bully
Effect," airing February 28 at
10 p.m. ET.
Fighti ng for your bullied child
The bullying Jackie Libby's son,
Alex, faced every day w as so
severe that she w orried the
emotional toll w ould drive him to
suicide.
Watch: Preview 'The Bully Effe ct'
updated 1:06 PM EST, Sun February 24, 2013
Premiering Feb. 28, 2013, "The
Bully Effect" is a pow erful
documentary on a movement to
end bullying in America's
schools.
Don't tell v ictims to 'just fi ght back'
updated 12:35 PM EDT, Wed Oc tober 31, 2012
Many schools are implementing
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and respect for others. But not
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Amanda Todd, a Canadian teen
w hose suicide provoked a
flood of sympathetic outrage,
endured one torment after
another in the years leading up
to her death.
2/11
3/1/13
Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com
as a child, he had been "aware of a part of me that did not fit."
He appeared last year as a man on "Dancing with the Stars," in part,
he said, to destigmatize being transgender.
Being transgender no longer a mental 'disorder' in diagnostic
manual
Comprehensive data and studies about transgender children are
rare. International studies have estimated that anywhere from 1 in
30,000 to 1 in 1,000 people are transgender.
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Some children as young as age 3 show early signs of gender
dysphoria or gender identity disorder, mental health experts who
work with transgender children say.
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These children are not intersex -- they do not have a physical
disorder or malformation of their sexual organs. The gender issue
exists in the brain, though experts do not agree on whether it's
psychologically or physiologically based.
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Many transgender people report feeling discomfort with their gender
as early as they can remember.
Transgender job seekers face uphill battle
Gender identity is often confused with sexual orientation. The
difference is that "gender identity is who you are, and sexual
orientation is who you want to have sex with," said Dr. Johanna
Olson, a professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Southern
California, who treats transgender children.
Children around age 3 are probably not interested in sexual
orientation, she said. But experts say some children who look like
they will be transgender in early childhood turn out to be gay,
lesbian or bisexual.
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School policies toward transgender students vary across the United
States.
In New York, for example, the law says students can't be
discriminated against on the basis of their gender identity.
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But in Maine, a court ruled in November that a school district did not
violate a transgender student's rights when she was told she
couldn't use the girls' bathroom.
Gender nonconformity is not a disorder, group says
Dude, the Colorado school district's attorney, has said there is
nothing in that state requiring public schools to permit transgender
students to use restrooms intended for the gender with which they
identify.
He added that the Fountain-Fort Carson School District adheres to
the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act in all respects: "Coy attends
class as all other students, is permitted to wear girls' clothes and is
referred to as the parents have requested."
She also has easy access to bathrooms other than the girls', Dude
said.
Coy's case will be the first to challenge a restroom restriction under
the state's anti-discrimination act, the Transgender Legal Defense
and Education Fund said.
For now, the first-grader is being home-schooled.
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Girl Scouts accept transgender kid, provoking cookie boycott
Reaction to Coy's story
CNN's online audience has responded to this story with a range of
questions and comments, with many saying the child is too young to
comprehend gender differences. Mostly, posters said they felt
sorrow for Coy as a child who is struggling.
"Just let the kid use the gender-neutral bathrooms. When he/she is
a teen, if he is still convinced he is a girl, maybe then you can get
into it with the school," said commenter EDM.
"This kid is going to have a hard enough life if he really is
transsexual, why start fighting battles now, when he should just be
blissfully ignorant"?
Transgender teacher sues school for alleged discrimination
Commenter AlawJ said the story left a "negative impression of the
parents."
"My rash view may be unfair, but I remember being that age and
have helped raise 9 nieces and nephews. One wanted to be a
firetruck and ran around making truck noises. Another one of the
boys liked to play dress up with the girls," AlawJ wrote. "My fiance's
little brother always wore dresses as well. But, at the end of the day,
the parents are there to be the adults and make decisions for them.
"I also am a little weary when you read a story where the parents are
filing lawsuits for their 6 year old child's rights."
Editor's note: A previous version of this story quoted certain reader
comments that were harshly critical of Coy's parents. We removed
these comments because we decided they did not increase
understanding of this complex and personal issue.
CNN's Cristy Lenz and Madison Park contributed to this report.
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Transgender kids: Painful quest to be
w ho they are
Living
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Opinion
12k
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By Madison Park, CNN
Transgender children feel a
disconnect betw een their
biology and gender
Some children said they felt
uncomfortable w ith their
assigned gender as early as
they could remember
Not all gender nonconforming
behavior for kids mean they w ill
become transgender
Hormone treatments exist to help
kids transition to the opposite
gender
iReport
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updated 10:34 AM EDT, Tue September 27, 2011
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Log in
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Berkeley, California (CNN) -- One of the first things Thomas Lobel
told his parents was that they were wrong.
The 3-year-old had learned sign language because he had apraxia,
a speech impediment that hindered his ability to talk. The toddler
pointed to himself and signed, "I am a girl."
"Oh look, he's confused," his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the
signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. "No, no. Thomas is a
boy."
But the toddler shook his head. "I am a girl," he signed back
emphatically.
Regardless of the fact he was physically male, Thomas has always
maintained that he is a girl. When teased at school about being
quiet and liking dolls, Thomas would repeat his simple response, "I
am a girl."
New sPulse
Thomas, now 11, goes by the name of Tammy, wears dresses to
school and lives as a girl.
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Her parents have been accused by family, friends and others of
being reckless, causing their youngest child permanent damage by
allowing her to live as a girl.
When children insist that their gender doesn't match their body, it
can trigger a confusing, painful odyssey for the family. And most of
the time, these families face isolating experiences trying to decide
what is best for their kids, especially because transgender issues
are viewed as mysterious, and loaded with stigma and judgment.
Transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex,
which is anatomy, and their gender, which includes behaviors, roles
and activities. In Thomas' case, he has a male body, but he prefers
female things likes skirts and dolls, rather than pants and trucks.
Gender identity often gets confused with sexual orientation. The
difference is "gender identity is who you are and sexual orientation
is who you want to have sex with," said Dr. Johanna Olson,
professor of clinical pediatrics at University of Southern California,
who treats transgender children.
When talking about young kids around age 3, they're probably not
interested in sexual orientation, she said. But experts say some
children look like they will be transgender in early childhood, and
turn out gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Gender nonconformity is not a disorder, group says
There is little consistent advice for parents, because robust data
and studies about transgender children are rare. The rates of
people who are transgender vary from 1 in 30,000 to 1 in 1,000,
depending on various international studies.
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Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are - CNN.com
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Like Tammy, some children as young as 3, show early signs of
gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder, mental health experts
who work with transgender children estimate. These children are not
intersex -- they do no have a physical disorder or malformation of
their sexual organs. The gender issue exists in the brain, though
whether it's psychological or physiological is debated by experts.
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One of the most recognizable transgender celebrities is Chaz Bono,
who currently competes on "Dancing with the Stars." Born female to
entertainers Sonny and Cher, Bono underwent a transition to
become a man in his 40s. He wrote in his book "Transition" that
even in his childhood, he had been "aware of a part of me that did
not fit."
Many transgender kids report feeling discomfort with their gender as
early as they can remember.
Mario, a 14-year-old Californian who asked his full name
not be used, was born female. He dresses and acts like a
boy, because, he said, since he was 2 years old, he
never genuinely felt like a girl.
Proud to be 'Born This Way'
"I feel uncomfortable in female clothes," said Mario. "I feel
like why should I wear this when it's not who I am? Why
should I be this fake person?"
But when a child starts identifying with the opposite gender, there is
no way to determine whether it's temporary or likely to become
permanent.
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"It's important to acknowledge the signs of gender dysphoria,
especially for children," said Eli Coleman, who chaired a committee
to update treatment guidelines for the World Professional
Association for Transgender Health, an international medical group
meeting this week in Atlanta, Georgia. "By not addressing it, it could
be really more damaging for the child than not."
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"It's a very difficult area and there are a lot of children who have
gender nonconformity. They will simply grow out of that. Many of
them later on identify as gay or lesbian, rather than transgender."
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The American Psychological Association warns that "It is not helpful
to force the child to act in a more gender-conforming way." When
they're forced to conform, some children spiral into depression,
behavioral problems and even suicidal thoughts.
Your comments: Too young to know your gender?
Do kids know who they are?
Thomas Lobel's metamorphosis can be told in pictures.
After his parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel,
adopted Thomas at age 2, they observed that he was
aloof. Shy and freckle-faced, he usually sat in a corner
reading a book.
The journey of gender
Unlike his two older brothers who were boisterous, athletic
and masculine, Thomas was unusually quiet. Because of
his speech impediment, he had to go to special education. Despite
developing better speech skills, he didn't want to engage in
conversation or socialize.
"He seemed so depressed and unhappy all the time," Lobel said.
"He didn't enjoy playing. He sat there all the time, not interacting with
anybody. He seemed really lonely."
In photos, Thomas appears small with a clenched smile and a
glazed and distant look in his eyes.
www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids
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Throughout his childhood, Thomas wanted to read Wonder Woman
comics rather than Superman, wear rhinestone-studded hairbands
instead of baseball caps and play with dolls rather than action
figures. And, his parents said, he kept insisting he was a girl.
His personality
changed from a
very sad kid who
sat sti ll... to a
very happy littl e
girl who was
th rilled to be
alive.
Pauline Moreno
His situation worsened when Thomas told his parents he
wanted to cut off his penis. His parents tried to rationalize
with him, warning him that he could bleed to death. But
his request was a signal to them that this was serious and
required professional help.
After seeing therapists and psychiatrists, the mental
health specialists confirmed what Thomas had been
saying all along. At age 7, he had gender identity
disorder.
The diagnosis was hard for Moreno and Lobel to accept.
"The fact that she's transgender gives her a harder road
ahead, an absolute harder road," Moreno said.
They have been accused of terrible parenting by friends, family and
others, that "we're pushing her to do this. I'm a lesbian. My partner
is a lesbian. That suddenly falls into the fold: 'Oh, you want her to
be part of the lifestyle you guys live,' " Moreno said.
But that couldn't be further from the truth, they said. People don't
understand how a hurting child can break a parent's heart.
"No parent wants to be in this situation," said Lisa Kenney,
managing director of Gender Spectrum, a conference for families of
gender nonconforming children. "Nobody had a child and imagined
this was what would happen."
Transgender kids do not come from lax parenting where adults "roll
over" to their kids' whims, said Olson, who treats transgender
children.
"The parents are tortured by it," she said. "These are not easy
decisions. Parents go through a long process going through this."
Moreno and Lobel allowed their child pick his own clothes at age 8.
Thomas chose girl's clothing and also picked four bras. Then,
Thomas wanted to change his name to Tammy and use a female
pronoun. This is called social transitioning and can include new
hairstyles, wardrobe. Aside from mental health therapy, this stage
involves no medical interventions. Social transitioning is completely
reversible, said Olson, a gender identity specialist.
Every step of the way, her parents told Tammy, "If at any time you
want to go back to your boy's clothes, you can go back to Thomas.
It's OK." Tammy has declined every time.
She continues to see therapists.
Tammy's room is painted bright golden yellow, decorated with
stuffed animals and cluttered with pink glittery tennis shoes. At
home, Tammy dances through the hallway, twirling in her pink flower
dress.
"As soon as we let him put on a dress, his personality changed from
a very sad kid who sat still, didn't do much of anything to a very
happy little girl who was thrilled to be alive," Moreno said.
iReport: 'I am transgender, and I want my voice to be heard'
The hormone question
This summer, Tammy began the next phase of transition, taking
www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids
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hormone-blocking drugs. This controversial medical treatment
prevents children from experiencing puberty.
Girls who feel more like boys take hormone-suppressing
medications so they will not develop breasts and start menstruating.
Boys who identify as girls can take blockers to avoid developing
broad shoulders, deep voice and facial hair. The drugs put their
puberty on pause, so they can figure out whether to transition
genders.
The hormone blockers are also reversible, because once a child
stops taking the drugs, the natural puberty begins, said Dr. Stephen
Rosenthal, pediatric endocrinologist at UC San Francisco.
But if the child wants to transition to the other gender, he or she can
take testosterone or estrogen hormone treatment to go through the
puberty of the opposite gender.
This transgender hormone therapy for children is relatively new in
the United States after a gender clinic opened in Boston in 2007.
Programs for transgender children exist in cities including Los
Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. The kids are treated by
pediatric endocrinologists after long evaluations by mental health
professionals.
No statistics exist on the number of transgender children taking such
medical treatments.
Medical practitioners have to be careful with children with gender
identity issues, said Dr. Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender
Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program and
professor at the University of Toronto. Giving children hormone
blockers to kids before the age of 13 is too early, he said.
Zucker conducted a study following 109 boys who had gender
identity disorder between the ages of 3 and 12. Researchers
followed up at the mean age of 20 and found 12% of these boys
continued to want to change genders.
"The vast majority of children lose their desire to be of the other
gender later," he said. "So what that means is that one should be
very cautious in assuming say that a 6-year-old who has strong
desire to be of the other gender will feel that way 10 years later."
All of this leads to unsettling answers for families trying to
understand their children. No one knows whether a child's gender
dysphoria will continue forever or if it is temporary.
The unsatisfying answer repeated by experts is that only time will
tell.
Despite the murky science and social stigma that confound adults,
Mario, who has lived as a boy since fourth grade, has a simple
answer.
"Don't change for nobody else," he said. "Just be you and be
happy."
Video produced by CNN's Brandon Ancil.
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