Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com 3/1/13 TV: CNN Home CNNi INTERNATIONAL CNN en Es pañol TV & Video CNN Trends MÉXICO ARABIC Sign up Log in HLN U.S. World Politics Justice Entertainment Tech Health Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint By Ed Payne and Ashley Fantz, CNN Living Travel Opinion 21k Recommend iReport 53 28 1,090 Tw eet Pr int updated 8:50 AM EST, Thu February 28, 2013 Sports Money Shar e Em ail Mor e s har ing Part of complete c ov erage on Transgender child's family fights school Special Report: Bully ing AC360 documentary: The Bully Effect STORY HIGHLIGHTS NEW: "The district firmly believes it has acted reasonably and fairly," its law yer says Coy Mathis' parents file a complaint under Colorado's AntiDiscrimination Act Coy can no longer use the girls' restroom at her elementary school The school district says Coy can use other restrooms in the school Coy Mathis and her parents, Jeremy and Kathryn, will be guests on "Starting Point" live Thursday in the 7 a.m. ET hour. (CNN) -- A transgender rights group announced Wednesday that it has filed a discrimination complaint in Colorado on behalf of a firstgrader who was born a boy but identifies as a girl. The filing stems from a decision announced last December by officials at Fountain-Fort Carson School District that Coy Mathis could no longer use the girls' bathroom at Eagleside Elementary. Mother Kathryn Mathis said she and her husband were shocked. "We were very confused because everything was going so well, and they had been so accepting, and all of a sudden it changed and it was very confusing and very upsetting because we knew that, by doing that, she was going to go back to being unhappy," she told CNN. "It was going to set her up for a lot of bad things." Coy was born with male sex organs but has identified as female since she could express herself, her mother said. The child had attended classes during her kindergarten year with no problems and no complaints from anyone at the school, Mathis told reporters at the Colorado Capitol in Denver, where she was flanked by her husband, Jeremy, and four other children. Wearing a girl's winter coat, Coy stood behind her mother. Mathis family: We need to protect Coy Afraid bullies would make fun of her daughter, Kathryn Mathis said she pulled Coy out of school during winter break. "In the end, we just want what is the best for Coy," Mathis www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/index.html "The Bully Effect," premiering on CNN on February 28 at 10 p.m. ET follow s the personal journeys of a number of kids and parents profiled in the documentary "Bully." Our unhealthy lov e of reality TV bullying updated 2:26 PM EST, Thu February 28, 2013 A red-faced Gordon Ramsay gets nose-to-nose w ith an older man and shouts, "Wake up!" He calls another chef's food "rotten." To us, it's entertainment. EXHIBIT E Senate Committee on Judiciary Date: 3-4-2013 Page: 1 of 8 SET EDITION: U.S. Cooper: Say no to bullying updated 4:38 PM EST, Thu February 28, 2013 Some adults may still think bullying is just a youthful rite of passage, but it seems w orse than in previous generations for many parents, educators and kids. Could your child be a bully? updated 11:55 AM EST, Tue February 26, 2013 Bullies can be almost anyone, at any time. And the most likely targets of bullies? The bullies themselves. Father finds purpose after son's suicide Kirk Smalley and his w ife, Laura, endured every parent's w orst nightmare -- burying their child. Their 11-year-old son, Ty, w as a victim of bullying. 1/11 Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com 3/1/13 said about the complaint. "We want her to be able to go back to school and be treated equally without discrimination and harassment." Transgender hoops player takes to court Attorney Michael Silverman of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, which is representing Coy, said the complaint -- which was filed with the Colorado Civil Rights Division -- is intended to have an impact beyond a single family or school. "For many transgender people, discrimination is a daily part of life. Unfortunately for Coy, it has started very early," he said, adding that the complaint is a "test of Colorado's Anti-Discrimination Act." Chaz Bono's emotional transition "The world is going to be looking at the school," he said, which can "send a message to the world and teach tolerance, fair play and equal rights." A girl's life 2011: Tammy and Mario: Gender journeys For most of the past year, Coy has dressed as a girl. Coy's passport and state-issued identification recognize her as female. Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are Kathryn Mathis said she got a call "out of the blue" from the school in December saying that Coy could use the boys' bathroom, genderneutral faculty bathrooms or the nurse's bathroom, but not the girls' facilities. The district "took into account not only Coy, but other students in the building, their parents and the future impact a boy with male genitals using a girls' bathroom would have as Coy grew older," a letter the family's attorney received in December said. "However, I'm certain you can appreciate that, as Coy grows older and his male genitals develop along with the rest of his body, at least some parents and students are likely to become uncomfortable with his continued use of the girls' restroom." In a statement Tuesday, the district's attorney, W. Kelly Dude, said: "The district firmly believes it has acted reasonably and fairly with respect to this issue. However, the district believes the appropriate and proper forum for discussing the issues identified in the charge is through the Division of Civil Rights process. The district is preparing a response to the charge which it will submit to the division. Therefore, the district will not comment further on this matter out of respect for the process which the parents have initiated." "It's sad that the Mathis family had to file a civil rights complaint in order for their daughter to be treated equally," said Herndon Graddick, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, in a statement. "The students clearly aren't the only people at this school who need more education." A little-studied group Transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex, which is based on their anatomy, and their gender, which includes behaviors, roles and activities, experts say. For the general public, transgender identity may be a new concept, though many might recall Chaz Bono, the child of entertainers Sonny and Cher. Born female, Bono underwent a transition in his 40s to become a man. He wrote in his book "Transition" that, even www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/index.html E2 When bullying goes high-tech updated 11:09 AM EST, Thu February 28, 2013 Brandon Turley didn't have friends in sixth grade. He w ould often eat alone at lunch, having recently sw itched to his school w ithout know ing anyone. Bullying: Personal journeys These snapshots illustrate w hat children and parents profiled in Lee Hirsch's eyeopening documentary have overcome. Faith shaken by gay daughter Bobby Johnson's daughter Kelby came out of the closet at age 14. The reaction from their church, he says, w as immediate. Watch: Victim 'didn't feel the pain' updated 1:13 AM EST, Tue February 26, 2013 Alex Libby overcame traumatizing bullying at school. His story is part of "The Bully Effect," airing February 28 at 10 p.m. ET. Fighti ng for your bullied child The bullying Jackie Libby's son, Alex, faced every day w as so severe that she w orried the emotional toll w ould drive him to suicide. Watch: Preview 'The Bully Effe ct' updated 1:06 PM EST, Sun February 24, 2013 Premiering Feb. 28, 2013, "The Bully Effect" is a pow erful documentary on a movement to end bullying in America's schools. Don't tell v ictims to 'just fi ght back' updated 12:35 PM EDT, Wed Oc tober 31, 2012 Many schools are implementing programs that teach empathy and respect for others. But not everyone agrees w ith this approach to managing bullying. Does it 'get bette r' for LGBT youth? The answ er to that question depends on how you look at it, according to a study published in the journal Pediatrics. Cartoon Network's anti -bullying fl ag updated 11:06 PM EST, Wed February 20, 2013 Cartoon Netw ork and Sen. Casey launch a national flag raising program as part of the Stop Bullying: Speak Up campaign. Bullying linked to suicidal thoughts updated 10:18 AM EDT, Tue October 23, 2012 Amanda Todd, a Canadian teen w hose suicide provoked a flood of sympathetic outrage, endured one torment after another in the years leading up to her death. 2/11 3/1/13 Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com as a child, he had been "aware of a part of me that did not fit." He appeared last year as a man on "Dancing with the Stars," in part, he said, to destigmatize being transgender. Being transgender no longer a mental 'disorder' in diagnostic manual Comprehensive data and studies about transgender children are rare. International studies have estimated that anywhere from 1 in 30,000 to 1 in 1,000 people are transgender. New sPulse Mos t popular s tor ies r ight now Michigan to take over Detr oit city government Americans see biggest monthly income drop in 20 years Some children as young as age 3 show early signs of gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder, mental health experts who work with transgender children say. Florida man sw allow ed by sinkhole in bedroom These children are not intersex -- they do not have a physical disorder or malformation of their sexual organs. The gender issue exists in the brain, though experts do not agree on whether it's psychologically or physiologically based. Opinion: No 'Avenger' in sight for America 4 myths about the spending cuts Explore the news with NewsPulse » Many transgender people report feeling discomfort with their gender as early as they can remember. Transgender job seekers face uphill battle Gender identity is often confused with sexual orientation. The difference is that "gender identity is who you are, and sexual orientation is who you want to have sex with," said Dr. Johanna Olson, a professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Southern California, who treats transgender children. Children around age 3 are probably not interested in sexual orientation, she said. But experts say some children who look like they will be transgender in early childhood turn out to be gay, lesbian or bisexual. Spons or ed Link s Weird Loophole in Nevada (FEB 2013): If you pay for car insurance you better read this... w w w .ConsumerFinanceDaily.com Visa® Black Card™ Differences in schools Earn 25,000 Bonus Points Plus Get Exclusive Rewards: Apply Now! School policies toward transgender students vary across the United States. In New York, for example, the law says students can't be discriminated against on the basis of their gender identity. w w w .blackcard.com Dealing With Incontinence Learn About This Medical Condition. What You May Be Able To Do About It w w w .TreatOAB.com Buy a link here But in Maine, a court ruled in November that a school district did not violate a transgender student's rights when she was told she couldn't use the girls' bathroom. Gender nonconformity is not a disorder, group says Dude, the Colorado school district's attorney, has said there is nothing in that state requiring public schools to permit transgender students to use restrooms intended for the gender with which they identify. He added that the Fountain-Fort Carson School District adheres to the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act in all respects: "Coy attends class as all other students, is permitted to wear girls' clothes and is referred to as the parents have requested." She also has easy access to bathrooms other than the girls', Dude said. Coy's case will be the first to challenge a restroom restriction under the state's anti-discrimination act, the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund said. For now, the first-grader is being home-schooled. www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/index.html E3 3/11 Parents of transgender first-grader file discrimination complaint - CNN.com 3/1/13 Girl Scouts accept transgender kid, provoking cookie boycott Reaction to Coy's story CNN's online audience has responded to this story with a range of questions and comments, with many saying the child is too young to comprehend gender differences. Mostly, posters said they felt sorrow for Coy as a child who is struggling. "Just let the kid use the gender-neutral bathrooms. When he/she is a teen, if he is still convinced he is a girl, maybe then you can get into it with the school," said commenter EDM. "This kid is going to have a hard enough life if he really is transsexual, why start fighting battles now, when he should just be blissfully ignorant"? Transgender teacher sues school for alleged discrimination Commenter AlawJ said the story left a "negative impression of the parents." "My rash view may be unfair, but I remember being that age and have helped raise 9 nieces and nephews. One wanted to be a firetruck and ran around making truck noises. Another one of the boys liked to play dress up with the girls," AlawJ wrote. "My fiance's little brother always wore dresses as well. But, at the end of the day, the parents are there to be the adults and make decisions for them. "I also am a little weary when you read a story where the parents are filing lawsuits for their 6 year old child's rights." Editor's note: A previous version of this story quoted certain reader comments that were harshly critical of Coy's parents. We removed these comments because we decided they did not increase understanding of this complex and personal issue. CNN's Cristy Lenz and Madison Park contributed to this report. 21k 16533 Com m ents » Recommend We re com m end Dad: " You never think it w ill be your child" Yahoo w or k -fr om -hom e policy r iles w or k er s ever yw her e Califor nia gunm an dead after k illing tw o police detectives Fr at pays for br other 's s ex change Tw eet 53 28 Pr int Em ail Mor e s har ing Shar e From around the w eb Mom : I w ant the w or s t punis hm ent for him Baby found in gr ocer y bag r ecover ing 1,090 Tw o Chilling Developm ents Sugges t As ia May Be One Step Aw ay Fr om War PRESIDENT&CEO Top 10 Wor s t Pr oces s ed Foods You Should Never Eat Gblog Wom an Gives Bir th While in Com a r edOr bit O.J. 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What You May Be Able To Do About It Buy a link here 16534 comments www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/index.html 176 E4 4/11 Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are - CNN.com 3/1/13 SET EDITION: U.S. TV: CNN Home CNNi INTERNATIONAL CNN en Es pañol TV & Video CNN Trends MÉXICO ARABIC Sign up U.S. World Politics Justice Entertainment Tech Health Transgender kids: Painful quest to be w ho they are Living Travel Opinion 12k Recommend By Madison Park, CNN Transgender children feel a disconnect betw een their biology and gender Some children said they felt uncomfortable w ith their assigned gender as early as they could remember Not all gender nonconforming behavior for kids mean they w ill become transgender Hormone treatments exist to help kids transition to the opposite gender iReport Sports Money 9 23 236 Tw eet Pr int updated 10:34 AM EDT, Tue September 27, 2011 STORY HIGHLIGHTS Log in HLN Shar e Em ail Mor e s har ing Berkeley, California (CNN) -- One of the first things Thomas Lobel told his parents was that they were wrong. The 3-year-old had learned sign language because he had apraxia, a speech impediment that hindered his ability to talk. The toddler pointed to himself and signed, "I am a girl." "Oh look, he's confused," his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. "No, no. Thomas is a boy." But the toddler shook his head. "I am a girl," he signed back emphatically. Regardless of the fact he was physically male, Thomas has always maintained that he is a girl. When teased at school about being quiet and liking dolls, Thomas would repeat his simple response, "I am a girl." New sPulse Thomas, now 11, goes by the name of Tammy, wears dresses to school and lives as a girl. Michigan to take over Detr oit city government Her parents have been accused by family, friends and others of being reckless, causing their youngest child permanent damage by allowing her to live as a girl. When children insist that their gender doesn't match their body, it can trigger a confusing, painful odyssey for the family. And most of the time, these families face isolating experiences trying to decide what is best for their kids, especially because transgender issues are viewed as mysterious, and loaded with stigma and judgment. Transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex, which is anatomy, and their gender, which includes behaviors, roles and activities. In Thomas' case, he has a male body, but he prefers female things likes skirts and dolls, rather than pants and trucks. Gender identity often gets confused with sexual orientation. The difference is "gender identity is who you are and sexual orientation is who you want to have sex with," said Dr. Johanna Olson, professor of clinical pediatrics at University of Southern California, who treats transgender children. When talking about young kids around age 3, they're probably not interested in sexual orientation, she said. But experts say some children look like they will be transgender in early childhood, and turn out gay, lesbian or bisexual. Gender nonconformity is not a disorder, group says There is little consistent advice for parents, because robust data and studies about transgender children are rare. The rates of people who are transgender vary from 1 in 30,000 to 1 in 1,000, depending on various international studies. Mos t popular s tor ies r ight now Americans see biggest monthly income drop in 20 years Florida man sw allow ed by sinkhole in bedroom 4 myths about the spending cuts Opinion: No 'Avenger' in sight for America Explore the news with NewsPulse » More from CNN Vide o: Hot air balloon burns, plummets to ground Kid hides in locker, tapes teacher Teen beauty queen resigns in porn flap See cheerleader's half-c ourt tr ick shot From Around the Web What's this? Young Boy Forced to Transfer www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids E5 1/11 Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are - CNN.com 3/1/13 Like Tammy, some children as young as 3, show early signs of gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder, mental health experts who work with transgender children estimate. These children are not intersex -- they do no have a physical disorder or malformation of their sexual organs. The gender issue exists in the brain, though whether it's psychological or physiological is debated by experts. Schools For a Disease He Doesn’t Have redOrbit Avalanna Routh Show s Charisma, Heartw arming Personality on ‘Today… NESN One of the most recognizable transgender celebrities is Chaz Bono, who currently competes on "Dancing with the Stars." Born female to entertainers Sonny and Cher, Bono underwent a transition to become a man in his 40s. He wrote in his book "Transition" that even in his childhood, he had been "aware of a part of me that did not fit." Many transgender kids report feeling discomfort with their gender as early as they can remember. Mario, a 14-year-old Californian who asked his full name not be used, was born female. He dresses and acts like a boy, because, he said, since he was 2 years old, he never genuinely felt like a girl. Proud to be 'Born This Way' "I feel uncomfortable in female clothes," said Mario. "I feel like why should I wear this when it's not who I am? Why should I be this fake person?" But when a child starts identifying with the opposite gender, there is no way to determine whether it's temporary or likely to become permanent. Health Re source s from HealthGrade s 8 tips fr om an exper t on lice How clean hands help m anage diabetes When depr es s ion does n't go aw ay Coping tips for Par k ins on's car egiver s Can ps ychother apy help lupus ? Sponsore d links "It's important to acknowledge the signs of gender dysphoria, especially for children," said Eli Coleman, who chaired a committee to update treatment guidelines for the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, an international medical group meeting this week in Atlanta, Georgia. "By not addressing it, it could be really more damaging for the child than not." Reno Fibromyalgia Doctor "It's a very difficult area and there are a lot of children who have gender nonconformity. They will simply grow out of that. Many of them later on identify as gay or lesbian, rather than transgender." Diet Meals for Diabetics Discover How Power Health In Reno Can Help You End Your Nagging Pain PowerHealthReno.com/Fibromyalgia 3 Early S igns of Dementia Doctor: Know T hese 3 Warning Signs You're About to Suffer Dementia www.newsmax.com Lose Weight & Improve Your Health. Nationwide Delivery to Your Door! www.SeattleSutton.com The American Psychological Association warns that "It is not helpful to force the child to act in a more gender-conforming way." When they're forced to conform, some children spiral into depression, behavioral problems and even suicidal thoughts. Your comments: Too young to know your gender? Do kids know who they are? Thomas Lobel's metamorphosis can be told in pictures. After his parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, adopted Thomas at age 2, they observed that he was aloof. Shy and freckle-faced, he usually sat in a corner reading a book. The journey of gender Unlike his two older brothers who were boisterous, athletic and masculine, Thomas was unusually quiet. Because of his speech impediment, he had to go to special education. Despite developing better speech skills, he didn't want to engage in conversation or socialize. "He seemed so depressed and unhappy all the time," Lobel said. "He didn't enjoy playing. He sat there all the time, not interacting with anybody. He seemed really lonely." In photos, Thomas appears small with a clenched smile and a glazed and distant look in his eyes. www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids E6 2/11 Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are - CNN.com 3/1/13 Throughout his childhood, Thomas wanted to read Wonder Woman comics rather than Superman, wear rhinestone-studded hairbands instead of baseball caps and play with dolls rather than action figures. And, his parents said, he kept insisting he was a girl. His personality changed from a very sad kid who sat sti ll... to a very happy littl e girl who was th rilled to be alive. Pauline Moreno His situation worsened when Thomas told his parents he wanted to cut off his penis. His parents tried to rationalize with him, warning him that he could bleed to death. But his request was a signal to them that this was serious and required professional help. After seeing therapists and psychiatrists, the mental health specialists confirmed what Thomas had been saying all along. At age 7, he had gender identity disorder. The diagnosis was hard for Moreno and Lobel to accept. "The fact that she's transgender gives her a harder road ahead, an absolute harder road," Moreno said. They have been accused of terrible parenting by friends, family and others, that "we're pushing her to do this. I'm a lesbian. My partner is a lesbian. That suddenly falls into the fold: 'Oh, you want her to be part of the lifestyle you guys live,' " Moreno said. But that couldn't be further from the truth, they said. People don't understand how a hurting child can break a parent's heart. "No parent wants to be in this situation," said Lisa Kenney, managing director of Gender Spectrum, a conference for families of gender nonconforming children. "Nobody had a child and imagined this was what would happen." Transgender kids do not come from lax parenting where adults "roll over" to their kids' whims, said Olson, who treats transgender children. "The parents are tortured by it," she said. "These are not easy decisions. Parents go through a long process going through this." Moreno and Lobel allowed their child pick his own clothes at age 8. Thomas chose girl's clothing and also picked four bras. Then, Thomas wanted to change his name to Tammy and use a female pronoun. This is called social transitioning and can include new hairstyles, wardrobe. Aside from mental health therapy, this stage involves no medical interventions. Social transitioning is completely reversible, said Olson, a gender identity specialist. Every step of the way, her parents told Tammy, "If at any time you want to go back to your boy's clothes, you can go back to Thomas. It's OK." Tammy has declined every time. She continues to see therapists. Tammy's room is painted bright golden yellow, decorated with stuffed animals and cluttered with pink glittery tennis shoes. At home, Tammy dances through the hallway, twirling in her pink flower dress. "As soon as we let him put on a dress, his personality changed from a very sad kid who sat still, didn't do much of anything to a very happy little girl who was thrilled to be alive," Moreno said. iReport: 'I am transgender, and I want my voice to be heard' The hormone question This summer, Tammy began the next phase of transition, taking www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids E7 3/11 Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are - CNN.com 3/1/13 hormone-blocking drugs. This controversial medical treatment prevents children from experiencing puberty. Girls who feel more like boys take hormone-suppressing medications so they will not develop breasts and start menstruating. Boys who identify as girls can take blockers to avoid developing broad shoulders, deep voice and facial hair. The drugs put their puberty on pause, so they can figure out whether to transition genders. The hormone blockers are also reversible, because once a child stops taking the drugs, the natural puberty begins, said Dr. Stephen Rosenthal, pediatric endocrinologist at UC San Francisco. But if the child wants to transition to the other gender, he or she can take testosterone or estrogen hormone treatment to go through the puberty of the opposite gender. This transgender hormone therapy for children is relatively new in the United States after a gender clinic opened in Boston in 2007. Programs for transgender children exist in cities including Los Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. The kids are treated by pediatric endocrinologists after long evaluations by mental health professionals. No statistics exist on the number of transgender children taking such medical treatments. Medical practitioners have to be careful with children with gender identity issues, said Dr. Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program and professor at the University of Toronto. Giving children hormone blockers to kids before the age of 13 is too early, he said. Zucker conducted a study following 109 boys who had gender identity disorder between the ages of 3 and 12. Researchers followed up at the mean age of 20 and found 12% of these boys continued to want to change genders. "The vast majority of children lose their desire to be of the other gender later," he said. "So what that means is that one should be very cautious in assuming say that a 6-year-old who has strong desire to be of the other gender will feel that way 10 years later." All of this leads to unsettling answers for families trying to understand their children. No one knows whether a child's gender dysphoria will continue forever or if it is temporary. The unsatisfying answer repeated by experts is that only time will tell. Despite the murky science and social stigma that confound adults, Mario, who has lived as a boy since fourth grade, has a simple answer. "Don't change for nobody else," he said. "Just be you and be happy." Video produced by CNN's Brandon Ancil. 1065 Com m ents » 12k Recommend We re com m end TSA apologizes for toddler 's tr eatm ent www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids 236 Tw eet 23 9 Pr int Em ail Mor e s har ing Shar e From around the w eb The “ Cooles t” Kids Ar e Als o The Bigges t Bullies E8 4/11
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