Boundaries in Marriage Session 13 Worksheet The 5 Love Languages Keeping Your Love Alive Each partner in the marriage has an _____emotional______ love tank. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, frequently hears the remarks listed below in marriage counseling. Have any of these thoughts, or similar ones, ever gone through your mind?  Our love is gone.  Our relationship is dead.  We used to feel close, but not now.  We no longer enjoy being with each other.  We don’t meet the other’s needs. “Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exists an invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty?” Dr. Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages What are some signs in a marriage that the gauge on a spouse’s love tank is on empty? Withdrawal Critical spirit Misbehavior by one spouse of the other Think about it: Harsh words Conflicts Love Languages…based on The Five Love Languages book by Dr. Gary Chapman A love language is the way that people speak and understand another’s ___emotional____ language. Discovering your primary love language 3 ways to discover your own primary love language: * 1. What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you is probably your love language. 2. What have you most often requested of your spouse? The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved. 3. In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method of expressing love may be an indication that that would also make you feel loved. Using these 3 approaches will probably enable you to determine your primary love language. If two languages seem to be equal for you, that is, both speak loudly to you, then perhaps you are bilingual. If so, you make it easier on your spouse. Now he or she has two choices, either of which will strongly communicate love to you. *Taken from The Five Love Languages, p. 124-125 Determining your Love Language Complete the Love Language Profile for either the husband or wife. Write your primary love language below and rank the other 4 in the order that they showed on the profile: My Primary Love Language is _______________________________________. My secondary love language is ______________________________________. 3.___________________________________________ 4. ___________________________________________ 5. ___________________________________________ 2 At-Home Assignment 1. Spend some time thinking about what you determined to be your primary love language. What are some meaningful ways your spouse currently communicates to you in your primary love language or ways in which you wish he/she would communicate with you in the future? 2. Write down what you think is the primary love language of your spouse. Sit down with your spouse and discuss what you guessed to be his/her primary love language. Then tell each other what you consider to be your own primary love language. 3. Discuss how you and your spouse can better “speak” each other’s love language needs. Be honest with each other. 3