Teaching Good Manners & the IJ Values Courtesy, politeness or having good manners are all about respecting others and yourself. The lack of basic good manners is an increasing problem in schools nowadays, and children often don’t treat their teachers, other staff or classmates with respect. This is why the teaching of good manners in schools is so important as it leads to an overall improvement in behaviour among children. What we as parents can do Good manners begin at home, and parents can play a part by instilling good manners and politeness in children from an early age. In school, teachers use every opportunity to encourage good manners and politeness to others in the school. If children are taught good manners from a young age they grow up to be kinder, more considerate adults. It is important to set a good example for children in this respect as children often learn from the examples set by those around them. Children need to learn about appropriate and inappropriate behaviour in different situations and it is important to be consistent in the rules that you set for our children. Good manners in the home could include teaching your child not to interrupt when other people are speaking, or teaching your child not to push in front of others and wanting to always be first. In a Nutshell • • • • • • • Be kind to others – encourage your children to understand the importance of treating others how they would like to be treated. Share – as children learn by example they will learn to share if they see parents and others sharing. Praise them when you see them sharing. Write thank you notes – a simple note to say thank you for a gift can make someone feel special and appreciated. Teach your children how to write thank you notes and send them after receiving gifts. Healthy eating – proper sleep and a healthy, balanced diet can lead to better behaviour. Politeness – teach your children the importance of saying ‘please’ and ‘thankyou’ to family members and others. Requests from your children should not be considered without them saying the ‘magic’ word. Show a good example – parents should show a good example to their children and older children should be encouraged to be a good example to younger siblings. Praise good behaviour – take notice of when your child practices good manners and praise them for it. They will be much more inclined to behave well if their good behaviour is acknowledged in a positive way. Good manners are an important part of building good relationships – both at home and in school. Good manners are also about respecting the people around you. Once your child realizes that there are consequences for their actions and recognize the value underlying good manners, their behaviour should automatically begin to improve. The Golden Rule It might seem like common sense, but it's worth repeating to your child: treat others as you would like them to treat you. If you don't want someone to be mean to you, don't be mean to them. If you want people to say nice things about you, say nice things about them. Five Fabulous Phrases Here are the key phrases your child will need to grasp: 'Please' 'Thank you' 'You're welcome' 'Excuse me' 'I'm sorry' Don't expect them to be adopted overnight. We would sound like a broken record for some time, but do persist. When she sees how proud you are when she greets an adult politely, she'll be encouraged to do it again. Be a role model The best way we can teach good manners to our child is to use them at home. Sometimes we're rudest to the people we love and sickly-sweet to complete strangers. We need to be polite to everyone, especially our own family. Share a secret code You can teach your child a secret code that allows her to politely interrupt when you're talking to a friend or on the phone. Agree with her that if she puts her hand on your hip or your arm, for instance, it means she has a question or needs something. But the deal is that she has to keep her mouth zipped. In return, you agree that as soon as there's a break in the conversation you'll respond to her. Children love to know that they have a secret code to get your attention, and they don't have to throw a tantrum to get noticed. Good manners is about considering the feelings of other people, and being the kind of person that others will like and respect. If you are respectful to others, then you are more likely to be treated with respect by them. If you show good manners everywhere you go, then you are more likely to encourage others to behave in the same way towards you Examples of good manners at home • being helpful to others in your home • saying 'please' and 'thank you' • sharing and not grabbing and keeping good things to yourself • respecting other people's property and their rooms • helping the family by doing your chores • cleaning up after yourself. Examples of good manners at school • • • • • • • • • saying good morning/afternoon if you are walking past an adult that you know asking if you can borrow something, not just taking returning things that you have borrowed waiting your turn before you speak saying 'excuse me,' rather than pushing past someone holding the door open for the person coming in, especially if he is carrying something respecting your own and other people's property, especially school property saying 'please' and 'thank you'. Examples of good manners when outdoors • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Respect other people. Be polite to others. Don't use bad language in public - it is offensive to others. Let an older person have your seat on buses, trains and trams if there is nowhere for them to sit. Queue up quietly and don't push. Put your rubbish into bins, don't leave it for someone else to clean up. Have fun but don't be so loud that you attract the wrong kind of attention. Respect property. Don't make fun of anyone - everyone has feelings. Don't run in shopping centres or where there are other people. Use your good manners so that you don't embarrass anyone. Introduce any friends you meet to the people you are with. Say 'please' and 'thank you'. Don't be a 'canna'. ("canna have this?" and "canna have that?") Examples of good manners at the table • Chew food with your mouth closed. • Ask for things to be passed to you, don't lean over the table. • If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself and go out of the room first. • Don't grab everything you want first - help others to get their food and be prepared to share. • Don't talk with your mouth full. It does not look good! Examples of good manners on the phone If you have to answer the phone, there are 4 important things to remember: • • Say your telephone number and who you are. Never say, "Mum/Dad, or any other adult you live with, is out". • • • Say "----- can't come to the phone right now - may I take a message?" You don't know whether the person on the other end of the phone is a would-be burglar, so you need to keep yourself safe. Don't give out any other information. The caller doesn't need to know if mum is in the bathroom or whatever! Always write down messages and organize with your family where the messages are to be put, e.g. by the phone or on the fridge. The person who gets the message can choose whether or not to phone back, but it is good manners to let them know that they have a message anyway. Negotiate with your family for length of time on the phone so that one person doesn't use the phone for hours, making it difficult for anyone else to use it. This is especially important if your internet access uses the same line. Having good manners makes one a pleasant person to be around. You may have more relaxed manners at home, but when you are outside or you have visitors it is up to you to give a good impression of yourself, your school, your CCA group and your family. Behaving badly doesn't just give a bad impression of yourself. Life would be much more pleasant when people show that they respect the comfort, feelings and wellbeing of others. Poem on Manners Manners! Manners! Don't be rude be nice Manners will make your brain think twice! Chew with your mouth closed Leave when you sneeze. Use your manners Around other people please. In the shops, even at the beach Use them and people will think you're a peach. If it's sunny or raining In the shops or at dinner Use your manners And you'll be a winner! Anonymous