1. food and drink
2. healthy eating

HAjy^D'BOOKS
FOR
HOME
IMPROVEMEjYT"jYo.
Ill
to1be"ave
HOW
A
POCKET
MANUAL
OF
%
ItpMitan
^tipette,
c
AND
GUIDE
TO
CORRECT
PERSOifAL
HABITS,
EMBRACING
EXPOSITION
AN
OF
OF
CARS
THE
BEHAVIOR
RECEPTIONS,
HOME
;
VISITS,
MANNERS
PLACES
THE
OF
HABITS,
OF
ETIQUETTE
EVENING
WEDDINGS,
FSEFUL
;
EXERCISE,
DINNERS,
PRESENTS,
CHURCH,
GOOD
DRINKING,
AT
LETTERS,
THE
OF
EATING,
PERSON,
AND
TURE,
PRINCIPLES
THE
PARTIES,
THE
DUCTIONS,
INTROSATION,
CONVER-
STREET,
THE
TRAVELING,
ON
SELF-CgL-
SALUTATIONS,
FUNERALS,
AMUSEMENT,
HINTS
DRESS,
ETC.,
WITH
Illustrative
Anecdotes,
a
Order
The
air and
makes
and
manner
decide
them
which
for
FO^VLER
against
AND
No.
Boston
142
:
)
Washington-st. J
on
us.
"
Love
Debating
for
neglect, as
we
or
Chapter
little
La
Courtship,
and
Eules
and
op
Societies.
things, are
Order
Bruyere.
AVEI.LS,
frequently
my
what
the world
steps In thy word.
judges
"
by,
us
Bible.
PUBLISHERS,
BEOADWAY.
308
i
1
Q
o
n^
O
/
i
.
PinLADELPniA
"jNo.
281
:
Arch-street.
INTSRED,
ACCORDING
TO
ACT
OF
IN
THE
clerk's
STATES
OFFICE
FOR
OF
THE
VIES
113
AND
Nassau
PROVO"
DISTRICT
KoBERTS,
Street,
UTAH
OF
COURT
DISTRICT
SOUTHERN
THE
Da
WELLS,
AND
FOWLEK
1857,
TEAR
THE
IN
CONGRESS,
OF
StereotyperB,
New
York,
NEW
THE
YORK.
UNITBB
m
CONTENTS.
INTRODUCTION.
Politeness
Code
Defined"
American
Politeness"
Utility
Soap
"The
Teeth"
"How
much
The
The
Breath"
Spitting"
Person
Feet"
and
9
Page
..
and
What
Drinking"
to Eat"
Onions,
Head
to Eat
When
The
Complexion
15
Things
Little
etc."
Daily
The
Nails"
Exercise"
Breathing"
Gentility"
The
of Linen"
Change
The
Cleanliness"
Duty"
Social
a
toDrink"
Gin
Illustrated
Manners
the
Cold-
The
HABITS.
Eating
What
to Eat"
"Tobacco"
of the
Water"
and
Bath"
Good
of
and
Code
Civil
Method"
Chesterfield's
PERSONAL
Care
to Commence"
Tlie
Manners"
of Courtesy"
I."
Where
of Good
Foundation
Instinct
Eule"
en
The
of Civility" The
DRESS.
IL"
-
The
of
Meaning
Art
Materials
Ornaments"
Art
Beard"
Short
The
of Dress"
The
Dress"
Signs
Fashion-
m.
Dress"
and
Moral
"The
Social
and
Manners
Faculties
-Human
Morals
and
vs.
Etiquette"
Principles
of
Good
Doing
of Tune"
Teaching
Children
Guests
Wife"
and
Husband
VL"
of
Chesterfield
of
of
Conversation"
Visits
The
Senses"
the
Sacredness
vacy"Confor
Pri-
of
the
Romans
Do"
Courtesy
A
Remark
to be
bered"General
Remem-
and
Music"
Home"
to Parents"
Entertaining
Making
48
Observances
.
Letters
Table
and
and
Guests"
Letting
Apologies"
without
Duties
of
your
Guests
56
You"
LIFE.
an
Introduction"
Conversations-
Manners"
Notes"
Sisters-
Brothers
EVERY-DAY
Speaking
Calls"
Children-
American
Thank
Servants""
OF
Introduction"
Eeceptions"
on
at Home""
OBSERVANCES
Letters
42
.
at
Behavior
Lovers"
Eights
Servants"
THE
Introductions"
Salutations"
"
one
of
The
Particular
than
Behavior
Married
to
MANNERS.
Polite"
be
Making
Alone"
"Treatment
to
as
Equality"
Important
more
Good
Manners"
Hints
Walking"
Eights
Opinions"
of
y._DOMESTIC
Al Test
-The
Duties
Harmony"
Anecdote"
Movement
Lessons
Practical
Expression
out
An
and
Position
PRINCIPLES.
Rights"
Claims"
their
SI
-Sitting"
Standing
FUNDAMENTAL
IV."
and
Hair
Coming
Language"
Observation"
Self-Command"
Ladies"
the
of
of Childhood"
Grace
and
Ease
The
-CULTURE.
-Cultivation
Traimng-
The
Gentlemen-
for
Dress"
on
Time
Good
of the
SELF
m."
Manners
Mrs.
i irst Essential"
the
Working-Dress
for Ladies"
Dress
for
-Fitness
of Dress
Uses
Up
and
Down
Stair"
Contents.
vi
First ?" An
Goes
Which
"
"False
Pulling
Shame"
of Guests-
Eating Soup
"
Duties
Fish"
"
Dancing
Leave"
-Christmas
Picnics"
and
The
"
How
to Behave
Shopping
The
Gallery"
The
Particular
Principle
Lack
"
Submitting
Natural
Titles
"
False
what
XIIL"
A
Blunt
Learned
Please"
and
Man
sions
Excur-
the
Street"
In
on
Places"
for
A
The
Hint
to
Walking
Picture
a
Ladies
the
on
Waiting
"
you
Favors"
of
in Love
"
Asking
"
Pa""
110
Code"
of Order
Eules
-The
Quorum
Business"
Order
"
Motions
Democratic
116
of Debate.
.
Toad
Eaters
Inequalities" American
Nobility" City and Country" Imported
for Certain
A
Hint
to the
Fashion"
m.
The
About
"
eral
Genners
Man-
Washington's Code of
An
tion"Securing
Obliging DisposiClaims"
Special
Propriety of
Men"
Ladies"
124
CHESTERFIELD.
of
Pleasing" Adaptation
People
to Refuse"
-Taking
English
"
of being Dressed
Art
How
.
MATTERS.
Never
who
Learn
of Manners-Local
Spirit" Civilityto Women.
ners"How
Man.135
ANECDOTES.
ILLUSTRATIVE
Table"
Sincerity
Declarations"
Voting -A
Order
"
FROM
are
Importance
Fortune"
a
and
Earnestness
Awkwardness
Humor"
for
ETIQUETTE,
Taste
Sister Scrub
at
of
Eights
Oflf" Marriage
Mirror
Pride"
Good
Do
Kissing^"
COURTSHIP.
Confidants"
MAXIMS
to Confer
Elder
A
Home"
XII."
Habits
"
Socia,l Uniform
a
Bad
their
of Amusement"
Ladies"
the
MISCELLANEOUS
for Real
and
Rush
Question"
a
of Reverence
Cheerfulness
The
Parliamentary
the
Distinctions"
Deportment"
Places
AND
Privileged Questions
Our
and
PLACES.
Men
At
to
Breaking
Origin of
Fictitious
"
Manners
Seats
Presents"
XL"
Republican
OF
PARLIAMENTARY
Debate"
"
Parties
83
"
X."
"Speaking"
and
100
Engagement"
Courtesy in
up
Knife
Birthdays"
"
rangement
Ar-
Grace"
your
Promiscuous
"
Thanksgiving
"
Stopping Business
Church"
LOVE
Attentions"
Refusals"
Year
Evening
"
Games
and
with
"
The
Guests"
do
to
Carving
"
Proper Age to Marry"
PhysiologicalLaws
of Understanding
What
"
Table"
Funerals
"
"
vs.
Fares
IX."
Boyish Loves"
Glasses
Traveling"
Giving
"
Paying
"
Course
Sports
At
"
Presence"
Fellow-Travelers
Politeness
Street
the
on
Ladies"
with
Equality
Bowing
the
to
of the
Duties
ETIQUETTE
THE
Wife"
OCCASIONS.
Host"
New
Weddings
Vm."
and
?"
66
OF
Third
Finger
French
Observances"
Husband
"
Ungloved
or
Children
"
of the
The
Declining Wine"
Fork"
Gloved
Dress-Punctuality" Going
Invitations"
Parties"
Watch
"ETIQUETTE
VII.
Dinner
Habit"
one's
out
Snobbery
Presents"
Curtseying"
American
off the
Women
Hat,
in
or
John
High
and
Life""
his
Employer"
Say so,
if you
189
PREFACE.
HIS
is
has
it
honest
an
other
no
pared
of
convinced
Desiring
than
on
own
social
"
in
fact,
with
far
than
upon
have
their
object
good
basis,
more
other.
of
to
place
impress
and
manners
and
be
than
that
satisfied
in
all
of
the
preyoung
whom
it
what
desire
is
we
be,
to
something
true
different
imitators
at
our
upon
good
justice
without
work.
their
It
the
has
minds
one
than
and
principles,
the
the
benevolence
ners,
man-
length
been
resfupon
our
any
though
morals
and
of
general
observances,
based
from
greater
upon
better
often
manners,
dwelt
emphasis
special
use
been
becoming,
radically
have
more
in
foreign
better
we
has
Republic,
readers
our
conditions
something
and
if
book,
gentlemen.
make
to
the
they
and
imitators
mere
aid
to
ladies
;
great
our
designed
are
for
little
earnest
merit
expressly
people
American
and
lattei
first
our
fact,
the
can
without
that
same
no
the
Preface.
nii
As
the
in
*
Books,
than
rther
this,
so
have
we
limited
of
the
way,
that
in
great
the
the
the
school
deference,
others,
of
etiquette,
only
a
very
in
except
and
of
up
a
politeness,
to
a
work,
our
the
in
aid,
truly
we
discerning
but
service
acceptable
some
manners,
of
ferent
dif-
forms.
do
building
of
to
imperfections
good
rather
radically
being
ourself
of
Hand-
of
usefulness
manuals
avail
labors
will
it
of
cause
other
most
series
at
plan
our
to
this
aimed
conventional
of
republican
with
of
mere
Sensible
hoping
of
able
been
extent
matter
but
;
that
from
have
we
J
originality
of
numbers
a
humble
American
now
in
and
submit
public.
it,
INTRODUCTION.
OME
has
one
defined
of
justice ;"
the
combined
but
politeness
it is
action
of
guided by judgment
exercise
of
and
ear,
One
social
of
matter
mere
foundation
and
government
from
become,
lose
ceasing
their
of
the
of
this
is
forms
exist
; and
to
in
now
they
observances
always
are
merely
and
place.
taste,
and
are
which
and
Politeness
as
the
sincere
well
as
in
self-command,
never
out
of
civil
human
fine
art
music
of
is to the
the
permanent
is not
dead
letters
is called
same
they
beautiful
There
called
them
cumstances
cir-
forms
influence
no
are
into
changed
other
are
have
Many
society,
under
;
were
latter
cause.
fashionable
which
the
on
of the
enactments
the
former
the
which
on
a
ing
bind-
more
of
a
have
as
women,
Portions
from
place
politeness
and
code
mere
"
absurd.
the
it
finds
for the
largest
;
which
fashion
The
same.
which
regard
the
force
and
of
"
or
which
binding.
always
forms
of
and
the
and
men
circumstances
time
everywhere
itself is
A
the
simply
are
of
conditions
many
entiousness.
consci-
of
make
to
real
as
civility.
the
appropriate
were
over
of
in what
Under
has
The
binding
vogue,
than
inoperative
of
character.
tters
time,
account
they
mi.
code
significance and
existence
are
the
to
on
law.
pect),
as-
eye.
relations
common
time
statute-book,
founded
the
than
us
upon
and
It
feelings,
human
as
what
of
requires the
recognition
heart
mistake
forms.
nature
the
the
to
well
philanthropy"
It is to
greater
a
arbitrary
the
in
of
It
(in its
as
result
social
taste.
spontaneous
sculpture
commit
not
by
ideality,
flowering
passions.
and
painting
can
the
"
the
is the
and
moral
veneration
and
is
the
elegant form
an
It
more.
refined
benevolence,
It
the
all
and
adhesiveness,
solidarity
something
only
"
as
are
;
and
1*
the
a
of
expression,
rights
genuine
rules
of
with
vary
others, in the
kindness
foundations
person
etiquette, which
who
of
smallest
heart
of
good
possesses
time
;
good
ners,
man-
them
Introduction.
X
be rude
hardly
can
conventional
usages
knowledge
them
will
of the
the
of
manner
and
us
those
our
themselves."
of
good
Celnart,
that
do
they
there
The
have
who
by study
and
art
of
the
first place, a
kind
behavior,
But
founded
are
They
far
sense
killeth,"
The
grace
despair.
which
afterward
the desire.
to
please.
of
of
possess, in
fellow-men,
our
manners
well
as
these
acquire the
Cultivation
that while
do
will
morals
as
the letter
"
them
in
as
mauvaise
conversation
fashion, and
well
nothing
I could
as
formed
conversation
whose
to the
grace
most
:
I
generally allowed
to
if I heard
that
[with
fine ladies ; confessed
a
very
and
upon
I addressed
bad
dress,
I
When
.
arid
engaging,
myself,though
grace], to
laughed with
man
one
his
their
agreeable
was
of it.
turn
own
my
ner,
man-
whom
of
all those
but
means
air,the
genteel,I carefully watched
attitudes, and
attended
of
turn
remarkably
another
fashionable
the
minutely
dress, the
the
sire,"
de-
strong
a
I had
that
sensible
was
I had
in that
resolved, if possible,to acquire the
people
I imitated
"
land,
Eng-
of which
practice,in view
him.
distinguished
so
in
naturally singularlydeficient
was
which
by
polished man
most
efficacyof
method
the
givesof
the
being
attentivelyand
the
be
I listened and
tres
acquire
must
toward
principles,and
please,and
address, and
motions, and
heard
He
I therefore
reckoned
was
to
"
I studied
found
We
self-control.
Chesterfield
reputation
need
the
to
must
we
art.
an
forget that
strong example of the
a
he says,
too.
content
way
equity, good-will
Lord
which
the
acquired
one
So
them.
the spirit giveth life.''
"
account
is
be
of
eternal
if
or
"
behavior
and
in
to
intuitively by inspiration.
same
is
equal
are
blunders,
blunders
be
to
must
the
In
never
certain
on
of Madame
They
commit
never
as
must
we
tions
founda-
the
as
largely developed
so
all.
at
draw
however,
practice.
so
enumerated
courtesy"
not
seem
feelings,magnanimity
the rest.
of
sing,speak, or
us,
directlyto
matter
never-failingpropriety of deportment
culture
novel.
great majority of
the
by
care,
of always doing right.''
them, they
those
of
need
to
of
pleased with
others
effect is the remark
same
instinct
"
hardly
commit
are
arts
de
the
refers
certain
a
make
already
secret
intention
an
seem
the
perfect
most
strictest observance
to be
seems
actions, to
heart
To
grand
"
definition
and
occasion, however
any
no
This
mind
the
*'
persons
they
and
the
transgress
truly polite.
one
Bruyere,
manners.
is to have
Some
etiquette and
words
qualitiesof
that
of
La
Politeness," says
"
he
rules
qualities,the
these
lacking
:
suffice to make
not
far lie may
discourteous, however
or
all
them
the
at my
most
own
IjSTTIiODUCTION.
awkwardness
them
and
Lord
Bacon
says
despisethem,
to
he
shall
To
that
is suited
to
one
him
only
connected
the
golden
and
and
as
says
youth
is selfish,and
their
and
the
; how
nature
Anxiety
and
tends
tried to
as
instinct
"
It is
with
of
one
paid to
fear
another.
the
presence
art,
says,
in the
very
of
unto
you.'
would
of
the
occasion
gentlersex.
expendituresupon
lavish
the
avidity with which
Un
of
us
every
'
Do
dren
chil-
ess
what
their own,
to
only when
est
inter-
and
Nature
ease,
is
always
produce any thing
realitythan
is to
the
well,
appear
imitate
!
imitation
the freedom
excellent
to
of
if
nature
they
nevei
in
new
that
American
the
marks
which
It is shown
our
our
and
work
costume
and
on
the
people
intercourse
is universally
in the excessive
offending public opinion.
of
house
observations
refer, contends
which
civility
extravagances
our
used
in the deference
It is shown
The
to abhor
comfort
never
to whose
in the
with
begin
possess."
do not
further
the
politeness:
example,
can
begin
to
influences.
soul
fetters
others
; all
"
apt
many
and
and
thing else
beginning with
treated.
the
have
to
prevailsamong
which
shown
he
of
and
courtesy is peculiarlystrong
shown,"
too
are
perfectionof elegance
opinions of
shall have
etiquettewe
do
to be
love
very
they
in every
is perfectfreedom
politeness
Life Illustrated,
in
we
chance
to
all her
better
what
assume
own,
manners,
pleasure
you
awkwardness
to
writer
A
the
about
the
should
they
True
The
much
which
appropriating
blindlyand servilely
of
and
entixelyartificial,
be
just
pleasing.
so
Chesterfield
as
politeness,
life and
very
graceful: affectation,with
half
of
his
instead
heart
another's
policy dictate.
treating
others
of character,
the
prefer
others
or
taught, by precept
politenesswill
foucauld,
Roche-
no
genius
of
to form
would
are
of La
good copies,for besides
exaggerated,the air which
are
the
In
"
:
that
leave
you
them,
unaffected."
observation
of the inside ; instead
contains
others
unto
and
another."
graces
the formation
trusting to
rule
been
to express
"
truly
manners,
the
they fittedhim,
as
the outside, instead
heart, and
add
there
the
too much
is to be natural
may
have
models.
with
which
sits ill upon
make
C. P. Bronson
labor
man
always clumsy
must
far
so
a
manners
person
to
imitatinghis
on
if
we
is almost
greater
enabled
in
"
the copy
them
and
testimonies
that
The
To
"
:
lose their grace,
these
that
recommending myself as an objectfor
forming."
it almost sufficeth not
attain good manners
rawness,
try their skill in
to
XI
It is
decoration, in
equipage. It
is bought and
is shown
read
in
which
lT"rTRODUCTION.
Xii
down
pretendsto lay
supposed to be,
next
man
claims
that every
; that
and
to be
men
thought, a
instinct
the
"
all
not
are
all docile
children
and
is called
is, gives the
tone
be,
glossand glitter.
from
drawn
are
theory
of
We
endeavor.
\"e
is based
of
in
saloons
his
of
will, become
have
in
brilliant
be
may
utilityof good
the
can
success
our
not
which
to
extent
to
We
as
of
Caldwell,
late Dr.
^'
In
the
decisive
courteous
"
There
year
and
the
1825
exaggerated unborrowed
produce
The
on
in
were
complained to
no
Where
me
a
our
politenesswhich
minute, habitual
a
exhausted
possessing,in
man
did,
ever
do
they
in
not
a
and
bear
certain
man
no
ciety
so-
sway,
pretension,but
it is
I"
universallyacknowledged perhaps,
be made
to congenuine courtesy may
tribute
as
happiness
our
from
experience
made,
people of
of the
effectis
is
well
place
an
duct
con-
plumes.
upholsterer has
without
a
this
is
hardly
point than
realized.
by quoting
the
Autobiography of
physician and phrenologist:
in
London,
satisfactoryexperiment
manners
here
which
fear, the politenesswhich
the
named,
celebrated
I
by
of behavior
that
an
Iwe.
we
illustrate
satisfactorily
more
following lesson
the
To
garniture,high
manners
seem
defects
conceal
in
shine
to
than
and incurably vulgar
intrinsically
our
of
complete artificiality
a
which
gentleman.
a
chief efforts
its maxims
little besides
Yet
craft.
palpable, that
insignificant
it
as
insignificant
and
small
platter,to
trying
upon
is
and
different from
act, rather
enough, nor
is
small
politenessand
us
be,
all ladies, nor
women
foreignvarnish.
degree,the qualitieswe
but
truth
The
thought,
to
woman
that
In
rightsof others, is not,
the
resources
The
desires
of the
are
prefer to
finds favor in the
ever
American
and
sincerity,good-will,self-conquest,
on
regard for
the
We
glistenwith
would
to be
all
belief
the
desires to be, and
our
a
gracefulness,.
painful constraint,
character.
expresses
things so
prevails,that they produce
and
trait,and
of the nation, the
outside
state
a
!"
Society,'which,
the
Its
gentleman
nor
manners
fact,that,
stinging of
of courtesy is not
obliging.
'
to the
cleanse
to
in the
and
offensive
possession.
to
gentlemen,
circle which
to
man
uncorrupt
lady.
opportunity equivalent
our
national
a
every
But," he adds,
"
no
of circles
behavior
the
govern
most
are
American
uncorrupt
gentleman
a
You
"
is
this
that
liar, the
a
possibleexpressionsis,
He
that
laws
excellence, polite. It is shown
jpar
calling a
to
the
various
number
neglect and
as
in
to
ranks
of young
rudeness
a
the
and
spiritof
effect of
the
a
wager,
civil
and
descriptions.
Americans, who
experienced by
often
them
Inteoduction.
citizens to whom
from
that
particular,
as
the
which
city toward
uncivil
and
evasive
the
on
had
the
or
least,if not
of their
been
civil
reply
in
either received
I told them
that
"
and
that
similar
I could
answers
plainness,not
to
perience
ex-
that I
:
the
municating
com-
help
not
arose,
say
an
my
often
questions
to my
requested :
the
point in
to any
exceedinglydifferent
their failure to receive
entirely,to
directions
at all.
none
subject had
a
They asserted, in
proceeding,they
were
information
suspecting that
at
they
answer,
same
streets.
they requested
as
failed to receive
never
in the
they spoke
often
xiii
in
part
bluntness,
their
of this
inquiries. The correctness
making
charge, however, they sturdilydenied, assertingthat their manner
of asking for information
was
good enough for those to whom
they
manner
addressed
truth
themselves.
of my
conclusive
*'
the
take
us
to whom
the
I shall propose
question shall
question
shall
them
the
words
by
of the
followingsimple and
:
togethera walk
of the city. You
public streets
them
convince
to
suspicions,I proposed to
experiment
Let
'
Unable
of two
shall
the
hours
in
of
some
yourselvesdesignatethe
questions,and
relate ; and
three
or
the
restriction
only
sons
per-
subjectsalso to which
imposed is, that
be
to be
proposed to any one who shall appear
greatlyhurried, agitated,distressed,or any other way deeply preoccupied,
in mind
or
body, and no one shall speak to the person
questionedbut myself.'
My propositionbeing accepted,out we sallied,and to work we
no
^*
; and
went
I continued
right,and theirs, of course, was
through life,courtesy of address
pleasant
my
that
and
powerful
and
attain
to
means
deportment
ends
our
our
and
passage
made
be
may
rendered
sur-
opinion was
my
that, in
; and
wrong
friends
young
discretion, frankly acknowledging
at
a
until
experiment
my
both
gratifyour
wishes.
"
the
I
put questions to
high-bredgentleman
instance
every
regret
"*
at
being
seemed
What
accosted
by
uncovered
to
a
man
reply ;
man,
my
of
and
the
unable
to
head,
as
I did
ordinary appearance
when
his hat
I touched
was
my
in
that
was,
imitated
my
speaking to
hat
an
gave
friends
and
asked
in
for
of his
assurance
it.
to communicate
uniformly
received
information
If the
addressed
surprise my
livery,and
in
rank, from
of every
persons
servant
individual
almost
me
to
twenty
satisfactoryreply.
imparted,the
not
was
a
than
more
a
breeding,he
to
a
immediately under
liveried
his
arm.
own
the
individuals
If I
manner.
gentleman, or
did the
in his
same
coachman
So much
even
or
ing
wait-
may
bo
Iktkoduction.
xiv
good
and
nature
of
attributes
politeness"
A
the
gentleman
and
have
vulgar
the
;
and
Etiquette"
a
those
this
in
to
all
before
hope
who
lady
who
we
are,
or
a
most
;
it
need
this
would
be,
in
not
we
REPUBLICAN
LADIES
OR
to
good
"
the
develop
the
vanity
Manual
highest
GENTLEMEN.
we
to
lieve
be-
essentially
an
do
all
of
society,
hope
available
terms,
TRUE
desire
of
but
little
men
country-
our
convert
with
of
knowledge
have
itself,
gentleman
dedicate
or
of
will,
it
of
higher
character
among
usages
We
you.
mitted.
com-
much
the
necessary
and
forms
living
with
the
universally
the
them
to
reading
into
person
now
mere
furnished
have
and
they
identical
generally,
not
to
degree
high
ever,
how-
breeding."
essential
a
that
add
to
work
the
written
that
aid
and
significant
truly
the
in
exist
forgotten,
as
without
good
qualities
good
is
indispensable
be
not
if
polite
of
and
countrywomen,
qualities,
these
lady
the
or
it
frequently,
too
and
the
can
breeding
regarded
be
to
exceedingly
natural
the
that
Believing
good
Let
accomplishment
valuable
more
be
may
person
not
is
which
mistake
a
is
Nor
useful
most
mind.
breeding
good
that
and
well-constituted
a
coarseness
agreeable.
of
the
of
two
sense"
and
foundation
the
For
otherwise.
be
case
avoiding
simply
by
bred
well
being
and
vulgarity,
and
gained,
advantages
such
and
done,
and
of
sense
that
we
efficient
Republican
of
these
HOW
TO
BEHAYE.
I.
PERSONAL
Attention
to
the
F
"h
you
iiers,
to
you
must
If
is
and
a
to
right
no
such
hands,
have
rights
we
wishes
or
We
to
about
himself
address
those
will
with
man-
the
apply
profit.
the
in
chapter
first
self
your-
little
very
as
with
the
individual
an
unwashed
in
book
infringe
that
no
disgusting
of!" from
seek
face,
but
you
by displaying
Other
right
of
people
can
yours
theirs.
assume
himself
You
and
perhaps,
others
no
person
duty.
society.
and
the
hands
of
senses
yourself,
as
who
of
adornment
garments
safely
render
of
study
person
untidy garments,
offend
to
as
well
and
well
as
may
to
cut
go
face, and
far
so
But
to
to
the
you
other
and
care
as
right
this
follow
any
social
soiled
wear
Anon,
"
this.
proper
a
have
extend
which
than
manners.
own
your
neglect
rather
good
aright
make
therefore,
of
COMMENCE.
commence
Omit,
The
necessity
TO
you
those
to
first
the
WHEEE
wish
lesson.
have
is
person
I."
HABITS.
the
reader
or
society
social
of
pages
disagreeable,
even
of
these
his
intercourse
fellow-men.
and
desire
HowtoBehave.
16
please. They will
though they may seem
to
their
highest good
spirit. Those
this
under
in
who
rather
do not
head, and
sake
of those
to whom
Cleanliness
hints
our
of
none
the
amiss,
personal;" since
need
whom
to
II."
"
*'
words
our
view, and speak in the
have
apply, will certainly
the
think
not
courtesy
they will
friendly
suggestions
remarks
our
to
have
we
most
and
even
may
for
them
excuse
be useful.
CLEANLINESS.
is akin
godliness,"it is
to
It is not
said.
less
closelyrelated to gentility.First of all,then, keep
not
hands
and
face
yourselfscrupulouslyclean
your
of your
merely, but your whole person, from the crown
"
head
to the
dirtyfeet
sole
and
themselves
dreams
ankles
such
an
foot.
from
another
to
of
of your
shirt
dirt is
or
while
Soiled
but in
no
a
for
to
dress
refer,of
in his
even
her
or
a
course,
industrial
begrimed
face
to
cupation.
ocare
field,the workshop, or the kitchen,
country in which
excuse
little
possessor
vulgar,but
necessarily
here
do not
and
hands
reveal
clean, than to
strictly
and richest clothing. A
is not
engaged
hide
be
finest
dress
in the
of honor
badges
and
We
the
It is far better
exposure.
so.
essentially
condition
one's
when
sense,
calico
a
stockingsmay
but they often
the eye,
coarselyand out of fashion
a
cover
dirtyskin with the
coarse
Silk
soap
carryingthem
and
water
into the
abound, there is
parloror
the
dining-
room.
A
clean
is
skin
comfort
as
as
essential
to
health, beauty, and
sonal
per-
decency ; and without health and
from
comes
physical disquietwhich
it is to
perfectfreedom
of the
action of all the functions
only from the normal
be satisfactory
to
never
bodilyorgans, your behavior can
Let us
yourself or agreeable to others.
yqu, then,
urge
to give this matter
your first attention.
that
Personal
The
1.
To
keep
clean
you
water
every
till dry w^ith
with
a
on
If you
have
to cold
bathing,commence
temperature by degrees
In
agreeable.
alike
frequently. In the first
the whole
body with pure soft
risingfrom your bed, rubbing it
towel, and
coarse
the hands.
becomes
bathe
wash
morning
17
Daily Bath,
must
you
should
place
Habits.
afterward
not
been
at
using friction
all accustomed
with
tepidwater, lowering the
till that which
is perfectly
cold
weather, comfort
warm
requirestillmore
and
liness
clean-
frequentbathing.Mohammed
made
frequentablutions a religious
duty ; and in that he
exhale
from
was
right. The rank and fetid odors which
cense
ina foul skin
can
hardly be neutralized by the sweetest
of devotion.
2.
But
the
dailybath
In
addition
Soap
of which
to the
Water.
and
have
we
pores
from
spoken is
which
not
exudes
the skin is furnished
watery fluid called perspiration,
innumerable
minute
which
follicles,
pour
anointingit and
causing the dust
by
the
pores
to
openings,known
its surface
over
rendering it
as
well
as
as
soft
a
and
the
the
with
sebaceous
thin
limpid oil,
supple; but also
the effete matter
adhere, and, if allowed
ficient.
suf-
to
thrown
out
accumulate,
It
obstructingits functions and causing disease.
finally
weather, emits an exceedingly
also, especiallyin warm
move
disagreeableodor. Pure cold water will not wholly reof
occasional
The
use
these oilyaccumulations.
or
tepidwater is therefore necessary ; but
soap and warm
should be followed
water
all washings with soapy or warm
Use
good,
by a thorough rinsingwith pure cold water.
kinds
The
are
fine soap.
generallytoo
coarser
common
stronglyalkaline,and
have
an
unpleasanteffectupon
the skin.
18
How
Behave.
TO
The
3.
Feet.
liable to become
particularly
offensively
when
the perspirationis profuse.
odoriferous,especially
The
feet
are
with
Frequent washings
of
use
and
water
warm
soap,
the
water, with
cold
occasional
absolutely
necessary
are
to
cleanliness.
4.
Change of
frequent change of
A
in soiled
minute
of every
to
one
the
if
body
it
inclose
we
in the power
It is not
garments.
elegant clothes,but
fine and
wear
essential of cleanliness.
linen is another
It avails little to wash
the next
Linen,
we
can
ordinary circumstances, afford clean shirts,
drawers, and stockings. Never
sleep in any garment
should be well
worn
during the day ; and your night-dress
aired every morning.
all, under
The
5.
You
to the
will not, of course,
table, with
soiled
Nails.
into
go
unless
hands, but
of them,
yourselfto a specialcare
be found
lodged under the nails.
time
every
and
you
evenly
wash
liable to be broken
are
and
if you
ends
pare
of the
head
carefully
to
get
too
smoothly
long they
and
uneven
to
ragged,
protect the
fingers.
is
elsewhere.
The
Head,
neglected,perhaps, than
more
part of the body.
than
them
closelythey fail
too
6.
The
them
allow
dirt will
less
or
Clean
off,and become
them
habituate
you
hands, and keep them
your
If you
cut.
more
sit down
or
company,
The
results
Dandruff
are
not
any
less disastrous
forms, dust
accumulates,
other
here
the
diseased, the hair grows dry, and falls off,
and if the evil be not remedied, premature baldness ensues.
scalp becomes
How
20
and
beauty,till old
and
some
of them
late to
too
children, do not,
the
first
they
entreat
we
mainly absorbed
will drop out of
will
Beware
by the
it is
left,
never
if you
have
their teeth.
for and
second
themselves.
regularand
out
come
cared
are
neglected,
to preserve
; and
neglect
you,
will be
that case,
teeth
any
of them
care
temporary teeth
or
and
ones,
have
you
take
to
been
alreadydecayed,hasten
While
begin
have
If yours
age.
are
the remainder.
Behave.
TO
or
The
If
preserved,
permanent
others, in
even.
the
teeth-powders,teeth-washes, and the
like,advertised in the papers.
more
They are often even
destructive
to the teeth than
the substances
tended
they are into remove.
If any teeth-powderis required,pure
powdered charcoal is the best thing you can procure ; but
if the teeth are
kept clean, in the way we have directed,
there
will be little occasion
water
and
rather
soft
pure
be
of
the teeth
little soap.
a
the gums.
and
The
8.
breath
A bad
neglected
foul
arises
and
stomach,
general
should
injuringboth
hard
too
are
than
dentrifices
tooth-brushes
Your
which
those
;
other
for any
a
pure
attention
to
than
frequently
more
decayed
Breath.
teeth.
laws
from
If it is occasioned
diet,bathing,water
the
otherwise
of health
by a
and a
injections,
are
required for
its removal.
III."
has
Whatever
connection
excuse
seem,
us
for
at the
a
EATING
DEINKING.
AND
health
bearingupon
with
manners
here
introducing
first glance,rather
;
a
has
the reader
few
direct
in-
an
will therefore
remarks
irrelevant.
healthyliver,and a good digestionare
social duties
the rightperformance of our
own
our
personalcomfort ; therefore a few
a
at least
which
Sound
as
as
may
lungs,
essential
to
they are
to
words
on
eat-
Personal
and
ing
drinking,as
Habits.
21
affectingthese, will
not
be
of
out
place.
1. What
unperverted appetiteis
An
of diet.
matters
makes
Eat,
the
highest authorityin
fact,its decisions
the
plant selects
the chemical
animal
wild
kinds
consid-
be
privilegeof appeal.
from
the
elements
soil which
necessary
perfect development,rejectingwith
would
particlewhich
every
prove
The
should
Nature
mistakes.
no
The
In
without
final,and
ered
,
^
to
chooses
with
its roots
meate,
per-
to its
growth and
unerring certainty
harmful
useless.
or
the
equal certainty
various
of food
of its nature, never
adapted to the wants
poisoning itself by eatingor drinking any thing inimical
health.
to its life and
of the
with
So
the wants
it should
be
the appeperfectlygratifies
tite
adapted to promote health,strength,
most
be the best
like
appetite,
all the
nature, is liable
astray.
We
We
the like.
false
pander
to
sustain
life and
the
system, but
and
implantin
Attend
to
acquire
highly hurtful,such
and
and
beauty.
But
our
of taste
sense
perfectharmony.
which
That
man.
should
and
in
act
system
The
to
a
have
our
the
relish
"
for substances
sought out
the
demands
the
feelingsof
to
lead
which
us
are
malt liquors,
spirits,
inventions,"to
many
too
often
eat, not to
harmonious
poison the
blood
or
perverted,and
fatal tastes, and
promote
to
become
instincts
tobacco, ardent
as
and
other
very
seeds
of
development of
fountains of our
being,
of disease.
appetite,but
use
all your
it is a natural, undejudgment in determining whether
praved cravingof the system which speaks,or an acquired
and vicious taste, and give or withhold
accordingly; and,
above
have
eat when
all,never
no
appetite.Want
you
of appetiteis equivalent to the most
authoritative
com-
How
22
mand
to
Food,
no
under
Behave.
TO
nothingsand
eat
such
wholesome,
how
matter
disregard it
we
taken
circumstances,instead
into
at
our
periL
our
stomachs
of
being digestedand
becomes
rank poison. Eating without appe^
appropriated,
tite is one
errors.
of the most fatalof common
have
We
if we
had the ability
and the
no
even
room,
the
desire, to discuss
comparative merits of the twc
opposing systems of diet the vegetarianand the mixed.
the question of flesh-eating
We
shall consider
an
open
"
one.
and
should
food
Your
be
adapted
occupation. In the
larger proportionof
your
a
elements
required than
are
The
latitudes.
immense
do
article of diet ; neither
form
to the
air than
Live
well.
for
capability
But
do not
called
but
;
things
and
lows
hut, swal-
train-oil
the
an
as
eating of pork
far less hurtful in winter
are
who
those
to
getting the
in the
labor
open
sedentary.
A
diet
generous
action.
confound
Good
"
a
rich" food.
"
in southern
snow-built
indorse
mates
cli-
carboniferous
and
summer
recommend
we
season,
in northern
and
fattyor
in his
not
can
these
in summer,
than
the
climate,
without
quantitiesof train-oil,
dyspepsia; still,we
in any
winter
in
Esquimaux,
the
to
cheer
Let
is
to
friendly
diet with
generous
vitalityand
promotes
dishes
all your
be
what
is
health."
usually
nutritious,but
highly seasoned
and very greasy food at all times, but particularly
viands
much
nutriment
weather
in the highly
in warm
; also too
condensed
forms of sugar, syrup, honey, and the like.
eat
If you
flesh,partake sparinglyof it,especiallyin
plain,simple, and
We
summer.
the
may
Americans
world, and it is
be
not
connection
some
notorious
wholesome.
one
that
we
are
Avoid
the
greatest flesh-eaters
unreasonable
between
are
the
to believe
this fact and
most
in
that there
the
equally
unhealthypeople in
Peksois-al
the
world.
too
free
An
untold
of flesh
use
Habits.
rapid in
during the
that which
eat
when
into
it goes
there
we
is in the
hot
this
as
weather,
warm
of disease
amount
putrefaction
; and
23
results from
months.
change
be
not
can
in meat
stomach
in
not to
tainted.
normal
a
motes
pro-
is very
careful
too
slightest
degree
the
Heat
the
Even
condition,
is
danger ; for if too much is eaten, or the digestive
not
are
sufficiently
strong and active,the process
organs
of putrefaction
in the stomach
and diffuse
commence
may
a subtle
poison through the whole system.
Hot
biscuits ; hot griddlecakes, saturated with
butter
and
all
Stuart's
syrup
the small
by
the most
these
deleterious
stomachs
eat
Good
bread
is
wheat
and
an
of
is made
best
rye
usuallyadded,
are
among
ever
complexions will be rare
aiiy thing hot.
unexceptionablearticle of
wheat
unbolted
flour,or
of
The
meal
bread.
excellent
articles
clear
drink
or
milk
at
put upon a table. While
be the staplesof our
breakfasts,healthy
to
and
coffee,scarcelymodified
hot
quantityof
continue
Never
and
;
flour.
and
flour
diet.
us.
The
mixture
A
with
meal
corn
among
of
either,makes
should
be
freshly
ground ; they deteriorate by being kept long. If raised
bread is required,
fermented
ment
or
hop yeast is the best ferthat can
be used.
[For complete directions for
bread-making,see Dr. Trail's Hydropathic Cook-Book."]
'*
The
exclusive
biscuits,and
to
of
of
rejection
as
are
bolted
flour
for
bread,
kinds, is exceedinglyinjurious
starch, sugar, gum,
this element
of modern
Johnny-cake, or
which
of all
or
The
nutrition
errors
of fine
lignin or woody fiber which forms the
ful
grainsis justas essential to a perfectand health-
health.
bran
cakes
use
is not
is
one
of the
and
most
fibrin,and the
mischievous
cookery.
corn
bread, is
an
excellent
article,
yet fullyappreciated. It is palatableand
How
24:
wholesome.
mush, and
Hominy,
boiled
list of edibles.
Behave.
TO
rice
cracked
samp,
should
have
and peas
Beans
a
wheat,
oatmeal
high place on
should
be
your
generally
more
They are exceedinglynutritious,and
New
England, pork and beans" hold
but elsewhere
in this country they are
unknown.
Leaving out the pork (which, personally,
than Jewish
hold in more
abhorrence),nothing
and
better,providedthey are eaten in moderation
proportionof less nutritious food. They
proper
than
they are.
very palatable. In
the place of honor,
eaten
almost
we
be
can
with
a
should
be
well
baked
quantityof
salt to
little sweet
milk,
nothing to
be
''
soft water.
in pure,
them, with
season
butter
or
cream,
If meat
desired.
is
the
while
A
sufficient
addition
of
a
baking,leaves
wanted, however,
a
the surface, will serve
a
beefsteak, laid upon
than pork. Potatoes, beets, turnips,
better purpose
rots,
carof
slice
good in their place.
ries,
indicates very plainlythat fruits and berNature
But
should have a prominent place in our
in their season,
dietary. They are produced in abundance, and every
parsneps,
and
cabbages
are
them.
ries,
Strawbercraves
instinctively
whortleberries, cherries,
blackberries, raspberries,
plums, grapes, figs,apples,pears, peaches, and melons
food fit for gods." We
perverted
are
pitythose whose
healthy stomach
"
taste
or
rejection. But
in
berries, particularly
digestionleads
to
their
some
are
mer,
midsumafraidto eat fruits and
and common
nature
sense
say
just the time when
they should be eaten most freely. They have the fear
before
their
similar diseases
of cholera, dysentery,and
adopted the popular but absurd idea that
eyes, and have
and
of the stomach
fruit eatingpredisposesto disorders
the
bowels.
Exactly
better
preventivesof
berries,eaten
reverse
such
in proper
is the
diseases
fact.
than
and
quantities
at
There
are
ripe fruits
proper
no
and
times
Personal
fruits should
Unripe
which
is in any
in
be
and
25
scrupulouslyavoided, and that
decayed as scarcelyless objectionable.
measure
Fruit
meal
Habits.
berries
should
make
part of every
a
In winter
they are less necessary, but
with advantage,if within our
be eaten
reach ; and
may
they are easilypreservedin various ways.
We
might write a volume on the subjectof food,but
these general hints must
suffice.
If you would
pursue
the inquiry,read O. S. Fowler's
Physiology,Animal
and Mental," and the
Hydropathic Cook-Book," already
summer.
"
"
referred
to.
When
2.
Eat
when
demands
the
a
stomach, through the instinct of appetite,
supply of
new
this
regular,
Eat.
to
will be
at
food.
the
about
habits
t^ourseach
same
are
day ;
and
regularityin
cause
point is a frequent
We
of derangement of the digestive
can
organs.
meals per day
stop to discuss the questionhow many
should
we
habit
of
even
value
your
their
eat
you
meals
eatingbetween
children
must
health,comfort, and
3.
How
portant.
im-
this
to
but whether
;
is very
meals
taking our
one,
ordinarycircumstances, take
under
never,
Not
eat
of
of attention
Want
not
the time
If all your
is
two,
three,
or
The
lunches.
perniciouson.e.
be indulged in it,as you
good behavior.
Much
most
a
to
Eat,
how
much
by weight or measure,
to eat, the rightquantity
depending much upon age, sex,
is quite
and climate, but the quantity
season,
occupation,
as
important as the quality.Appetite would be a sure
it not so often pervertedand
guide in both respects were
We
can
not
diseased.
better
to
As
err
tell you,
a
general rule, we
in the
feelingof fullness,or
other
eat
direction.
of dullness
2
and
too
An
It is
much.
uncomfortable
stupor after
a
meal,
How
26
Behave.
TO
you
whatever
and whenever
sign of over-eating
; so
not
eat, eat slowly^masticate
your food well,and do
EAT
TOO
is
sure
a
MUCH-
Drink.
4.
If
eat
we
seldom
stomach
pretty sure
to follow
Water
is the proper
thing that
lives
of black
let it be the best
all,should
drunk
at
boiled
milk, and
be
well
breathe, our
as
as
is often the
vital
which
processes
which
is the
oxygen
we
do
by
air
only
If
half
accomplish
the
habits
of
as
all your
eating
well
as
rooms,
the
sugar.
If
to
cease
we
human
The
to
keep
tem
sysup
combustion,
If the
the
of
supply is
healthycondition
completelyexpanded
The
many
and
required inflation,
for want
of their
are
essential
of
our
food
to
the
action.
health,
duties,whether
and
temperate
Attend, then,
Breathe
especiallyyour
natural
as
pure
drinking are.
the stomach.
and
quantityof
only Aa//*breathe,
we
live.
rightperformance
and
soft.
Coffee, if
imperfect breathing of
individual,political,
or
social,as
lungs
white
eating.
as
Full, deep breathingand pure air
happiness,and
and
BEEATHING-.
The
diseased
become
for every
recommend),
its
prime supporter.
inhaled.
fails to
persons
lungs
twice
lungs also requiresthat they be
the
not
strong.
not
the fire of life wanes.
insufficient,
of the
and
pure
supply of oxygen
closelyresemble
constant
It is
of unwholesome
use
with
to live.
we
be
the
with
sweetened
cease
case,
requiresa
everybody
tea, and
necessary
bodies
feverish
a
general system.
It should
diluted
lY."
Breathing is
for
wholly from
tea (which
drink
If you
water.
drink
grows.
arise
diseases
Many
or
are
hearty meal.
too
a
the
or
quantity,we
indicates
thirst
Inordinate
thirsty.
of either the
state
in proper
food, and
proper
to
the
good air. Have
sleepingapartment^
HowtoBehave.
28
VI."
Every person,
complexion. To
and
especially
every lady,desires a clear
tions
secure
this,follow the foregoingdirecto cleanliness, eating,drinking,
ing,
breathThe
for ruby lips
same
recipe serves
exercise.
cheeks.
rosy
health
depends
These
Few
we
of
us
to the
health,and
of
laws
disagreeable habits
from
tution.
consti-
our
HINTS.
GENERAL
free
are
go with
and
come
obedience
upon
VII."
i
COMPLEXION.
and
in reference
and
THE
of which
seemingly natural have they
office of friendship,
though not
hardly conscious, so
are
become
to
always
pleasant one,
a
to
It is the
us.
point them
to
that office
assume
necessity of
the
here, findingour
bad
Our
case.
ourselves, but they give offense
injurethem
habits
ness
busi-
our
in the
excuse
only injure
others, and indirectly
to
not
also.
Tobacco.
1.
Ladies, in this country, do
skipthis
It is
out.
section.
do
may
A
the
not
tobacco, so they may
use
large and increasingnumber
same
if you
but
;
use
of gentlemen
tobacco, in any
whisper a useful hint or two in your ear.
and especially
chewing, are bad
Sm("king,snuff-taking,
habits at best, and in their coarser
forms
ing
highlydisgustform, allow
U
You
us
and
pure
aave
the
that /Oil have
and
to
soiled
do
people,and
refined
same
to
to
indulge
the
in the
and
in
Uike
make
yourself generally and
(againstour
suffer the
ladies.
snuff,and
of
right,in
no
Smoke
chew
filthyskin
a
either case,
sensibilities
society.
chew,
but yoT" must
take
luxuries
have
senses
their exhibition
snuff
especiallyto
right to smoke,
garments, but you
violence
])popleby
to
of
if you
other
will,
advice, however),
earnest
disagreeable,
particularly
the social outlawry
consequences
"
Personal
which
result.
must
Habits.
Shall
shops, risk the ruin of
shots
random
of
atmosphere
pleasureof
your
whose
have
exclude
is to
manners
We
?
company
habits
or
rights. You
talk of
stench,
pungent
a
circle
our
others
blame
for
the
to
for the
well
rightsas
distasteful to
are
not
can
from
the
fill the whole
disgustingsaliva,and
with
tobacco
from
furniture
disgust of everybody else, merely
of which
one
parlorsinto
our
carpets and
our
house
our
and
discomfort
you,
of your
convert
we
29
as
all persons
You
us.
exercising
theirs.
There
chew
are
smoke
little^
a
snuff
of
habits
nov)
in the
purifyhis
the
his
degrees here
occasional
an
tlien^and
before
person.
others, and
he
he must
But
take
not
is very
not
escape,
smoke
may
pinch
a
these
careful
he
company,
can
One
indulges in
never
going into
efTects,which
else.
cigar,and
if he
of
presence
person
bad
own
and
everywhere
as
in any
to
fine
con-
may
mostly to
or
parlor,
or
sitting-room,
dining-room,or sleeping chamber, or in
the street, and particularly
of ladies,
not in the presence
anywhere.
2. Spitting.
"
The
use
has
of tobacco
has
made
us
a
nation
of
spitters,"
truly remarked.
Spittingis a private
alone
in violating
not
users
are
act, and tobacco
good
taste and good manners
in company.
by hawking and spitting
should
be
You
to
never
seen
spit. Use your
handkerchief
carefullyand so as not to be noticed, or, in
of necessity,
leave the room.
case
as
one
some
3.
The
spiritand
apply to
whisky,
the
and
of tobacco.
Gin
and
of
tenor
of ardent
rum
are,
They
must
our
remarks
spirits.The
possible,worse
use
if
Gentility,
on
no
account
on
of
fumes
than
be
will
tobacco
the
gin,
scent
brought
into
How
so
If
company.
will
may
skip)
with
liquid
good
company,
whose
a
make
beast
of
must,
if
a
he
do
either
it
and
foods
drinks
or
into
Onions
company.
that
truly polite
no
inflict
their
taken
to
fumes
guard
against
hair,
your
the
or
pare
toilet
in
the
of
part
the
their
the
at
weight,
impression
the
the
in
person
once.
All
dig
nose,
and
if
These
and
we
of
any
in
to
carefully,
up
your
company.
attended
pick
scrape
perform
or
so
you
may
go
make
far
have
seem
in
upon
or
going
breath
liable
to
should
care
from
odor
an
when
them
agreeable
dis-
cause
persons
Particular
be
cause.
any
Items.
pick
nails,
the
still
any
of
fully
care-
To
head
or
Watch
break
habits,
things,
determining
those
be
room.
the
worse.
such
little
should
own
your
scratch
or
comb
operations
things
of
teeth,
your
necessary
these
is
company
own.
disagreeable
eat
privacy
ears,
his
as
by
very
Several
5.
Never
bad
a
into
companions
breath
avoided
others.
upon
with
or
the
will
person
blood
etc.
be
emit
his
fill
depraved
as
women
admission
desires
taint
should
eructations
he
Onions,
which
and
himself,
are
which
section
privately
appetites
4.
All
is another
(this
man
poison,
senses
Behave.
TO
around
but
they
character
the
us.
any
self
yourthem
have
of
Deess.
31
II.
DRESS.
From
little matters
And
lightly
The
outward
"We
has
and
the
we
by
we
can
falsified.
it may
forms, and
II."
"
"
we
to
two
the
functions
not
can
one
essential
"
body,
and
THE
of
often
Fashion,
condition,which
hardly be entirely
ever
reigningMode, what-
can
room
OF
USES
Art
to clothe
for choice
in materials,
make
indicates
we
either
which
the laws
of
the
Crayon
to ornament
point,we
belongs
is to
dress
of two
DEESS.
Journal
and
forms
equallywell, that
with
acter,
char-
our
expression is
laws
arbitrary
but
;
to
reason,
of character.
requirementof
this function
the
word,
a
This
little
us
sightof
power
a
the
accordart
lose
is,or maybe, read
in
"
tyrant,the
Dress," that admirable
has
DEESS.
colors,and the choice
prominent traits
our
control
be, leaves
Ednifs.
faculties,Jour
habits
that arch
Even
;
peel." 0. W.
time, place,and
of
wholly
;
of the forms
by all. It is one
naturallygive expressionto our
whole.
a
circumstances
not
the
OF
greatlymodified by
and
eat
we
dress
reveal
man
constructive
our
as
inner
less,
of
language,which
our
feelings,
our
to
pass
mysteries
pulp before
understood
tastes,
us
LANGUAGE
its
which
in
let
the
forms
the
guess
I." THE
RESS
touch
must
to
cover
the
and
of dress
; and
But
while
not attribute
The
other.
make
fortable
com-
fulfill
which
is the better which
beauty.
says,
fitness
is most
must
in
How
32
nowise
than
rather
pain
gives us
it will be
that
with; and the garb which
be interfered
this law
Behave-
TO
We
believe
beauty, so
far from
pleasure.
that fitness
found
and
requiringany sacrifice for combination,
the highestdegree where
both are
most
that the fittest,
most
graceful or
and
that appears
in the
But
"
there
secondary
in
fullyobtained
"
is most
is the
function
diverse
several
are
each
primary demand
uncomfortableis untastefuL
Fitness
becoming.
the dress
found
are
is that which
dress
comfortable
on
infringes
dress,
of
be
objects to
;
tion,
ornamenta-
attained
"
are
qualities
brilliancy,
distinguishing
dignity,
grace, vivacity,
different individuals, and
indicating the impression
and are
ent
expressedby differthey wish to make on society,
of the elements
combinations
and
the
When
color.
appareling of
most
complete harmony
taste
is fullest."
III."
True
art
fundamental
"
is
Dress
or
Dress
OF
being is
in
the
constitution,
DEESS.
its uses,
as
indicated
universal
on
in the
principles
already quoted
always
is
to
considered
be
fundamental
a
says,
very
truly,that
secondary to
as
maxim
in the
art
of
the
tume,
cos-
sight of, and dress made obtrusive
of the individuality
of the wearer.
A man's
expense
must
cravat
not seem
too important part of him
a
not
create
it. If
heighten beauty, but it can
may
you
are
you
are,
The
not
better
indeed,
next
costume,
and
to
mental
outer
is often lost
but
vest
AET
THE
the
all art.
This
person."
at the
to
the
It is based
art-writer
The
with
adaptsdress
foregoing extract.
beauty, line,or form,
of
a
and
man
or
principleto
in its
a
be
than
your
clothes
of straw.'
woman
regarded
is the
fitnessof
your
forms, materials,and
circumstances, and
place,and
beautiful
more
occasion
on
to
which
the
colors,to your person
conditions
of the time,
it is to
be
worn.
Fashioa
Dkess.
33
and dress in the
principle,
most
absurd, incongruous,unbecoming,and uncomfortable
and independence,however,
style. A little more
self-respect
often
to violate this
compels us
would
enable
to resist
us
Fashion
But
terous
enactments.
all the
in
incongruities
The
first demand
the
old, we
all
tranquiland
and
character
here
is too limited
what
and
in the
In
has
each
its
Each
the
gay, the
varietyof form, color,
to do
us
alike.
and
the
and
but
appropriatestyle;
to allow
dress
not
grave
and
young
short,the dark
the
space
drop a
hint
nious
harmo-
most
work,"^ now
another
In
our
than
more
requires,to produce
efifectivecombination.
this importantsubjectwill
preparation,
of
course
treated
should
rosy, the
the
is, that your
The
person.
the
the vivacious.
and
toward
tall and
the
the pale
light,
your
responsiblefoi
meet.
They
of fitness
this law
with
we
prepos
affectation.
and
taste
not
which
know,
instinctively
should
Neither
''
of
shall accord
costume
is
dress with
often the result of bad
are
of her most
many
be
in detail.
lines
and long,unbroken
form, simplicity
givedignity,
vivacity.
comphcated and short lines express
if long and
Curves, particularly
sweeping, give grace,
while straight
lines and anglesindicate power and strength.
if somber, gravity,
In color, unity of tint gives repose
but if lightand clear, then a joyous serenity varietyof
and if contrasted,brilliancy."
tint givingvivacity,
while
"
"
Longitudinalstripesin
taller than
persons
should
persons,
of
short
never
"
Hints
Grace,
and
toward
to
hy
short
the
Secure
are
; or, How
Life and
2*
to
becoming
colors
complexion,and
Long
for this reason,
women,
The
ones.
appear
foi
appropriate
therefore
Flounces
Pliysical Perfection
Strength,and
are
Tall
stature.
them.
wear
but not
be determined
*
reallyis,and
she
her
make
lady'sdress
a
should
worn
harmonize
should
Acquire
and
to tall
Eetain
Perpetual Youth."
Beauty,^
How
34
with
and
white
with
Ladies
*"
it.
is the
Yellow
be
only
can
colors,while
these
colors
colors
grave
the
by
them, and
their
improve
to
hues
sallow
near
trying and
most
worn
complexions bear
rosy
dark
bear
not
require dark, quiet,or
all, and
delicate
better than
blue
complexion will
of
Behave.
TO
pearance
ap-
dangerous
of
rich-toned, healthy-
lookingbrunette."
and
dress
your
reside, and
you
which
on
be
not
one
every
flowing,and
in the
the
or
in the
all their
country, is
and
trowsers
dress, but
dress
a
are
is made
sleeves
should
wrist.
A
city,and
or
saque
a
and
gatheredinto
or
a
basque of
one
and
foi
one
ride
a
on
country. Long,
and
priate
appro-
dragglingin
of the wearer^
briers,they lose
no
frock
reaching to
pantaloonform, but
trowsers
might be worn
yoke
of
longerfitting.The
for a shopping excurseen
sion
especiallyfor a ramble in
The
less convenient.
be
for
common
Turkish
with
and
have
parlor;
streets,
movement
bushes
ever
short dress
of the
Full
have
we
in the
the
wider.
muddy
law
workshop,
beautiful
are
grace, because
and
in the
ramble
the
should
mer
sum-
clothes
The
carriage,one
embarrassing every
walk
for the
one,
in the
country among
a
a
the
time,
That
worn.
you
field,or
trailingskirts
costume
prettiest
or
for
but
parlor,
beauty
with
the
winter, or winter
that
for the
another
even
and
filth,
accord
to
clearlyenough.
sees
another
and
horseback
between
move.
suited
be
in
worn
kitchen, the
and
street
you
it is to be
another, and quite a different
the
which
imperativelydemands
as
for the
dress
It should
should
costume
should
in summer,
fitness
society in
the
occasion
clothes
harmony
house, your furniture,the place in which
Thirdly, your
place,and
be
circumstances.
your
your
means,
your
should
place,there
In the second
waist
or
the
knee,
somewhat
with
body
of the
belt,and pretty full.
a
band
a
different
and
buttoned
color
this
The
at the
from
the
II
36
O
W
B
O
T
E
wear
may
and
E
V
.
duties of her household,
plain loose dress, made
a
the
high in
neck,
with
long sleeves fastened at the wrist. It must
be exceedinglybeautiful and
and may
slatternly,
look
In reference
to
of
again, is,that
spectator to rest (forwe
a
should
the
"the
ornament,
artist-friend
our
concentrate
do
you
offend
coming.
be-
dress," to quote
the
want
you
all dress
not
for
eye
show),
you
called,as
attention
want
ugly,as some
people,
affectation of plainness,
do (foryou have no rightto
the eye
with any thingwhich
of your
fellow-man
not
"
an
not
decoration, leaving the parts of
your
which
apparel to
of
law
where
"
plainand negativeas possible
is
A
lady,while performingthe morning
A
in
H
ugly),but simply negative."
lY."
The
materials
the
be
of which
best
that
your
a
very
bad
exercises
low-pricedand
the
costume,
the
should
be
costs
A
to
more
no
or
should
they
at
all
well
dress
It is better
of
ugly.
to
than
finer
instincts
a
of the ladies
ing
wear-
working
your
with
subjected. They
be
therefore
not
As
be
general rule, it
a
ill.
than
should
in
correspond
course
to
are
always
wear
disreputableshirt.
coat
For
should
generally
taste
durable, but need
gentleman'sshirts
well-fitted.
One
worse
materials.
coarse
which
coarse
and
made
are
will allow.
economy
strong and
either very
clothes
your
means
materials
to
usage
ETC.
MATEEIALS,
will
a
fine,clean, and
be
The
threadbare
or
coarse
better
require no
taste
and
hint in reference
appareling." True taste,
delicacy, and refinement
regards the under clothingas
scrupulouslyas that which is exposed to view.
The
coverings of the head and the feet are important,
to
and
their
should
by
"
most
no
means
intimate
be
inferior to
the
rest
of your
Dress.
Shoes
apparel.
the
where
feet and
latter
ankles
are
better
are
required
substantial
enough
and
neatly made,
Thin
shoes,
carried
wish
they
The
the
beautiful
corns
and
fur
; and
it is
and
ugly.
The
than
felt hats
now,
into vogue,
A
fine
light,
The
need
and
or
are
straw
are
far
hat
If
clumsy.
pavement, have
If you
grave.
tightshoes
absurd
;
but
and
hardlyless
always
unsightly
uncomfortable
fine,soft,and
glad to
should
warm.
be
not
her
of taste,an
we
of the
bonnets
dry
hat, in its innumerable
eye
more
feet
walking
unshapely feet,wear
produce those results.
fashionable
the
injuryfrom briers,
for
to
cases
protection of
shoes
woman
ugly forms, is,in the
coveringfor the head
and
or
damp ground
a
unhealthful
the
snow,
keep
the
3n
fail to
never
for
Ladies'
to
boots, except in
well-fitting,
they
worn
many
to have
than
againstwater,
brambles, and the like.
be
37
say,
turesqu
pic-
more
coming
more
ful.
comfortable and health-
more
is the best for
summer.
ladies,in their fashionable
forms,
little less
ugly and unbecoming than the fur
hats of the gentlemen. A broad-brimmed
or
gipsy hat is
than the common
net.
bonfar more
becoming to most women
We
stove-pipehats" and
hope to live to see both
only a
are
"
"
sugar-scoop
let those
bonnets"
who
them
wear
MES.
v."
abolished
;
but, in the
mean
time,
must.
MANNEES
ON
DEESS.
can
highest authoritywe
possibly
quote in such matters, has the followinghints to girls,
the pleasureof copying,
not deny ourselves
which
can
we
of remarks
in part, a repetition
though they may seem,
alreadymade
Good
"
to
:
taste
neatness,
cestus
the
Manners,
Mrs.
is
indispensablein dress, but that,united
is all that
of Venus,
which
is necessary
gave
beauty
"
that
to its
is the
wearer.
fabled
Good
How
38
simpleand
day,
fine
Very
street,
or
complexion,and
her
delicate
very
in bad
dresses
clothes
in
A
cold
a
all in bad
to
worn
the
in
worn
church,
dresses
Very long
taste.
a
clothes.
of wearing one's
highly ornamented
very
shop in, are
to
one
or
to
becoming 'fitting'
day, or a w^hite one
in a windy day, are
v^arm
a
thin
light,
a
or
taste.
or
in
dress
worsted
suited
"
and
neat
a
"
figure colors
manner
unafi^ected
her
to
fabrics
suitable
involves
taste
Behave.
TO
worn
the
if long dresses are
muddy or dusty weather, even
fashion^are still in bad taste.
always in bad
Deep and bright-coloredgloves are
careful enough in selecting
few persons
taste
are
; very
in
"
gloves. Light
dresses, dark
and
dark
not
indicative
properly
and
shoes
of
good
politelyand
taste.
is
as
to
a
good
appear
that fine clothes
or
VI."
the
In
dress
lady,and
and
fine airs
lis
the
lady-likeas
can
the idea
all, acts
is
required
before
be
poorest may
the
wealthiest
that money
;
makes
such
a
so
ing
noth-
lady,
do it."
HAIR
THE
beard, in
reference
abashed
are
dress,
above
wealth
no
Thus
taste.
WEAEING
hair and
The
clean, well-made
kindly, is
vulgar than
more
a
speaks well, and,
proprietyand
attired
and
well, and
clothes
Fine
here.
stockings
lightdresses, are
A
girl with neatly and
neat, well-fitting
gloves,
feet, with
dressed
walks
dresses, white
stockings and
smoothly arranged hair,
who
dark
one
to
AND
BEAED.
of their
the
aspects, belong to
style of wearing them,
of taste.
A man
to whom
generalprinciples
himself sadly
has given a handsome
beard, deforms
nature
opinion; and on this
by shaving at least, that is our
The
full beard
is
point fashion and good taste agree.
consult
the
"
now
more
cities.
common
than
the
shaven
face
in
all
our
large
Dkess.
In the
39
the hair there is
dressingof
for the
display
of a great deal of taste and judgment. The
styleshould
Lardner's
Young
vary with the different forms of face.
has the followinghints to the gentler
Ladies'
Manual"
Gentlemen
can
sex.
modify them to suit their case :
After a few experiments,a lady may
cide
very easilydewhat
mode
of dressingher hair,and what head-dress,
room
"
"
renders
"
her
face
attractive.
most
On
one.
the
other
hand, the
smoothly,and drawing
; it has
to few
face must
For
by
foliageis
Light hair
it back
of
thing for it,which
of
is
is to
: the
simplicity
asking too much,
tended
in-
ornament
the
human
aspect
the
to
is
landscape.
generallymost becoming
made
be
curled.
when
in
short, half
For
an
ringlets,
reaching a little below the ears.
face, long and thick ringletsare suitable ; but if the
and
be thin and
sharp,the ringletsshould be light,
long,nor
too
"
are
dark
When
fall in
heavy
very
of
the
is
masses
the
upon
light-haired
persons.
arranging the hair is to
permittingthe ends
ears,
Another
either
face
not
never
Open braids
also
hair ; they are
simple and graceful
shoulders.
of dark
made
when
ringletsshould
curled, the
A
to
ringletson
"
hair
oval
in number.
many
beautiful
becoming
mode
too
hair
side, is becoming
state, is the
Hair
every
puttingthe
of
vanity instead
nature.
suit almost
either
on
face, the curls should
round
a
fashion
hair, in its pure
for it
"
look
a
do every
especiallyas
what
the forehead
Ringletshanging about
fold the
to
front locks
fall in
a
hind
be-
couple of
side behind.
beautiful
mode
of
dressingthe hair, and
one
it will keep in
appropriatein damp weather, when
curl, is to loop up the ringletswith small hair-pinson
very
either
side
lightband
of the
face
of braided
and
hair
over
behind
them.
the
ears,
and
pass
a
40
How
"
Persons
with
very
very
low
long,but
not
hair
knotted
head
be
drawn
to
around
should
the
a
head.
head.
few
is
in
in
the
head
in the
made
be
that
braid, and
is
be
w^oimd
round, the
middle
hair
of the back
within
a
of
basket, and
it,the
shape
of
FASHION.
vs.
of the
some
laying down
from
the principlesof art and taste, in
maxims
deduced
their application
to dress, and not promulgatingthe edicts
If there is a lack of harmony on some
of Fashion.
points,
the
between
and
beautiful
the
than
judge
to the
we
been
two, it is
give
to
have
If the
hair may
to resemble
permittedto fall from
much
improved."
AET
neck.
back
thick
the
wear
may
the
of
a
the
braid
a
YIL"
Observe
back
narrow,
very
If the braid
curls
the head
at the
When
be formed
heads
long,narrow
side, braided
one
the
Behave.
TO
far you
yourselfhow
We
matter.
In future
VIII."
P.
N.
the
a
We
present excitement
inquiry as
universal
all.
discussed, and
sense
will
to
public
settle in
the
some
fashion
sense
as
vidual
indi-
occasion
society.
look
to
the
on
us
as
if
turninginto
proprietyof an^
were
or
have
been
fullyawakened,
direction
an
:
disquisition
subject shall
attention
probablytake
opinion will
the
the
When
one
latter bend
writing
signs which
to
as
his
must
COMING."
TIME
closes
see
we
of
the
to
higher law
shall have
Journal,
Home
thus
agitation,
repeat, that
fashion at
GOOD
ored
endeav-
You
dress
the usages
to
"THE
Willis, in the
dress-reform
"
OF
SIGNS
a
the
make
can
chapterswe
to refer to it in its relation
on
talkingof
been
have
former.
based
fashion-makers.
the
of
have
We
in reference
hints
in costume,
fitting
enactments
for
fault.
our
useful
some
you
the
not
of the
shape which,
at
full}
commor.
matter, an^
least, ma)
Dress.
former
reject
and
decisions
new
a
While
that
what
rid
get
is
becoming
likely
the
each
to
we
may
and
to
largely
own
advantage,
best
increased
as
^
be."
and
dressed
woman
every
see
her
unfashionableness,
of
fear
it
would,
the
thereby,
express
that
formity
uni-
be
may
in
somewhat
and
liness,
clean-
slavish
present
to
come
to
"
without
to
venture
are
dresses.
health,
consult
we
of
short
and
are
they
however,
will
they
ladies
there
and
dresses
long
moderate
Some
necessary,
the
convenience,
that
hope
for
points
about.
and
absurdities.
doubtless
places
other
and
These
is
dress
of
times
proper
and
excesses
similarity
41
this
worn
way
differently,
proportion
most
of
ty
beau-
assuredly
How
42
Behate
TO
III.
SELF-CULTURE.
There
Is
no
who
mun
Knight, without
can
bo
easily
without
fear and
I." MOKAL
AVING
and
AND
given
habits
and
stillremain
as
a
American
true
attention
to
what
dress, consider
to be
all points
Republican.
"
a
James
Gentlennan,
"
Parton.
TRAINING.
SOCIAL
due
in
become
naturally
so
reproach,
personal
your
special errors
corrected, or what
deficiencies
and perseveringly
supplied,and carefully
apply yourselfto the required self-training.
If you are sensible of an
inadequate development
faculties or
of any
of those
feelingson
which
based, set yourselfat
are
good manners
of cultivation,remembering that the
about the work
once
legitimateexercise of any organ or function necessarily
to be
tends
to
its
It is
good manners
yourselfto
development. Look
hardly possiblefor
without
a
sacred
acute
regard for
familyor
social
circle.
to
you
of
sense
the
matters, and in the
in the minutest
of the
an
first to
acquire genuine
equity.
Accustom
rightsof others, even
most
In
ness.
conscientious-
a
familiar intercourse
similar
Benevolence, Veneration, Adhesiveness,
tivate
cul-
manner
Agreeable-
and the moral, social,and esthetic faculties
Ideality,
in general. Go out of your way, if necessary,
to perform
thank
and friendship
omit the
acts of kindness
; never
possiblefavor, whether
you" which is due for the slightest
rendered
by the highest or the lowest ; be always bland
and genial; respect times, places,
observances, and especially
ness,
"
persons
; and
put yourself in the way
of all pos
How
i4
Behave.
TO
which, though seemingly unimportant,are
to
elegance and
or
be ashamed
reallyessential
despise these little things,
smallest grace by study and
Never
ease.
acquire the
to
practice.
desire
You
How
do
to be
than
in
and
what
rule
better
take
them
which
Do
with
do
care
of themselves.
children, which
of
soldier,and,
and
dancing-master ;
But
standing
feet
put your
of any
limbs, and
observe
let
the attitudes
study also those
because
always graceful,
; and
hand, the
one
stiffness
of
ape-likesuppleness of
other, the
the
on
to
forgetyour
to
almost
the
on
in
or
are
you
In the absence
?
their statues
are
Avoid,
natural.
where
hands
example, try
awkward,
are
know
or
artistic
awkwardness
your
your
the
to
now
If you
you
sculptorsgiveto
good standing"in society.
"
refer
view.
walking.
to
We
?
manifest
likely to
more
of
person
stand
you
point of
esthetic
a
let there
be
no
straining,
no
the
the
ing,
fidget-
should stand on
of position. You
shifting
than the
both feet,bearing a little more
heavilyon one
The
other.
same
generalprinciplesapply to the sitting
gant,
and eledignified,
posture. This may be either graceful,
uneasy
no
qualities
may
and depend upon
of them
Walking
is not
very
close
may
be
close
their
of
women
"
go
should
connection
improved
observer
own
difficult
so
sex
or
and
a
thus
in their
Slovenliness
in
latter class
former
some
acquired ;
consequence
positionand
moveaients.
accomplishment as standing
an
due
deteriorated
sensible
some
walking
of the
manner
characterizes
shufflingalong,preciselyas
a
either of them
through the other.
trustworthymonitor
and
or
carriage,''
It has
attention.
character, and
enumerates
"
of
your
receive
with
the
matter
a
characterizes
but
sitting,
and
it, it is
The
uncouth.
got rid of and
be
of
which
and
abject,
awkward,
or
of
A
of
faults
common
walking :
some.
They
if their shoes
were
down
*
Self-Cultuke.
at the heel
**
slipshod"
"
"
them
would
she
showing
very
dusty or sandy,they kick
up
This
it
is
gentleman,I really
a
were
lady who walked like this ;
and I could not be
undignified,
a
the
awkwardness.
another
have
their knees
high that
so
marry
If I
their
liftup
not
her.
Some
feet
so
appear
proud of
"
I could
think
could
fill their skirts with
and
exceedinglyungraceful.
do not
they
If it is
feet in consequence.
the dust before
and
46
sent
are
through
movement
lift up their
They
them,
before
out
the dress.
They always
leavingtheir skirts behind them, instead of
saunter
Some
about them.
along
carryingthem gracefully
wires ; others are
to be hung on
as
so
loosely they seem
stiff as if they supposed only straightlines were
able
agreeto
seem
to
be
the
and
eye;
deficient
"
Sometimes
'behind
a
every
in
she
woman
her shoulders
far behind
her.
Some
the
as
to turn
to look
and
slightly
very
hands
dress
I have
awkward
pushing
their
hold
silly
her
up
puts her foot back, and
made
forward
chin
breast, lookingvery
self-respect.
a
lady walks so
time
well-dressed
of the
advance
considerablyin
and
others, again, run
her
seen
by
elbows
up to
the
vating
eletoo
waist,
as
tightlyas if
against themselves
and
glued there ; others swing them backward
they were
Too
walks
man
forward, as a business
along the street.
from
short steps detract
dignityvery much, forming a
"nincingpace ; too long steps are masculine.
and
the ball of the foot very flatly
walk
Some
upon
and
press
their
arms
"
down
clumsily; others come
moving;
elephantwas
young
shoes
and
the foot.
and
seen,
when
for
their appearance
Many
upon
the
heel
by walking upon
will
they are thirty,
fifty
years'old."
though
a
others, again,ruin their
and
practicea stoop
as
called
pass
the
the Grecian
side
of
bend,
well, unless the face bo
56
H
*
O
W
B
O
T
II A
E
V
E
.
Gymnastics,dancing,and
auxiliaries
in the work
them
be, and
may
illustrate their
drill are excellent
military
physicaltraining,
though all of
of
the
constantly
applicationhere.
attention
they deserve
alreadyreferred
in
"
to
as
in
perfectself-control
something amiss, and your
you
what
are,
about, but you
either
have
Do
reliance.
will not
The
which
former
of
and
self-respect
it to
keep
you
without
swim
to
of
out
by
overcome
You
course.
a
be
is
majorityof
a
cultivation
to learn
expect
this self-command
lose
with
ever
wher-
home
at
can
it by such
conquer
feel
excitement.
or
are
trol
complete con-
It
allow
not
who
you
contend.
to
the
and
effort
resolute
and
easy
to
greatest obstacles
people
young
liable
through bashfulness
of the
one
an
to
qualifications
what
and
are,
you
actions,and
and
are
social
only be fullyconscious
also have
You
constantlyliable
are
other
where
words
are.
the
receive
toward
you
not
must
are,
must
of all your
you
You
you
will
They
not
can
tion,"
Physical Perfecpreparation.
Hints
Without
will avail little.
We
-SELF-COMMAND.
IV
do
abused.
are,
self-
society.
You
might
as
sonably
rea-
into
the
going
water.
v."
One
of the best
others
in
mere
do,
rule
any
and
govern
external
to understand
you
of
means
In company,
observation.
to
OBSEEYATION.
your
the
of
a
to become
which
manners
by
theirs
underlie
with
move,
of any
in reference
what
observe
;
but
except
servile imitation.
imbued
you
and
one.
is
manners
in doubt
are
quiet
which
principles
society (ifgood) in
the
you
conduct
forms, beware
witness, and
in
particulars
where
form, be
or
in
improvement
Seek
the observances
the
rather
spiritof
than
the
to copy
Self-Culture.
vi."
the
But
of
the
this
the
or
address.
of
every-day
instructions
Begin
away.
practical
important
externals
actual
our
most
good
lessons.
to-day,
for
instrumentality
is
manners
intercourse
and
now,
47
of
your
with
study
the
the
society
next
in
practice
constant
will
promotion
;
both
person
and
without
thrown
be
you
meet
How
48
Behave
TO
IV.
FUNDAMENTAL
Ccftirtesyis the
of
part
morality, justice carried
to
the
refined,
utmost, rectitude
trifles." Li/e Illustrated.
in
magnanimity
beautiful
PRINCIPLES.
I." MANNERS
OOD
AND
MORALS.
and
good morals are fomided on
the same
eternal principlesof right,and
are
only different expressions of the same
great
manners
truths.
Both
existence
and
rightsbased
and
social
who
alike,while
have
similar
of
rights.
us
they justify
in
of
our
individual
individual
our
duties
bonds
have
We
the fact of
on
connection, in the
individuals
of the necessities
relations.
have
we
out
grow
being ;
resultingfrom our
with
other
society,
Morals
asserting and
and
manners
maintaining
to respect,in word
require us scrupulously
rights,
and
It is true that the former,
act, the rightsof others.
in the common
comprehension of the term, is satisfied
with simple justicein all our
relations,while the latter
our
own
often
demand
can
road
well
the
than
requiressomething more
exercise
an
"
as
of
same
of
equity;
a
"
but
the
the
for
requisition,
deeds
of kindness
it
as
tiousness
the strictest conscien-
yieldingof
sentiment
more
of
than
half
the
benevolence,
as
highest morality reallymakes
and recogincludes politeness,
nizes
a
duty.
II.-RIGHTS.
In this
and
country
maintenance
we
of
need
our
no
incitements
rights,whether
to the assertion
individual
or
na-
Principles.
Fundamental
We
tional.
require.
may
have
tongue, the pen,
the
either with
Even
and
others
Are
the
as
that
they
indeed
man
all,men,
we
case
who
women,
and are forward enough in clarnirights,
equallyready to respect the rightsof
children,have
ing them.
sword,
bold
a
battle for them
discovered
question. Yes,
in
call them
the
or
be
must
do
to
have
women
he
rights,and
dares
all times
ready at
are
49
we
?
IIL-DUTIES.
of
Out
duties ; the first of which
rightsgrow
is to live
life,acting and
honest, truthful,self-loyal
an
speaking
with the laws
of
always and everywhere in accordance
our
physicaland mental
being,as revealed in our own
organization.It is by the lightof this fact that we must
look upon
requirements,whether
all social
is fundamental
All that
morals.
in
dress, manners,
and
genuine in
with universal
will be found to harmonize
ples,
princiand consequentlywith our
primaryduty in reference
or
these
to ourselves.
1
Whenever
arises
of duties.
them,
individual
each
respect them.
much
of
as
has
duty of
justas
fails in
alluded
habits and
their
The
eye
are
you
written
that it is the
the
and
question of rights,
a
have
with
contact
m
and
rights,
has
a
quently
conse-
to
incidentally
dress.
The
upon
some
of
senses
it is your
claim
our
duty to
for
you
so
and
beauty in form, color,arrangement, position,
movement
author
come
we
have
We
speakingof
in
Senses,
wherever
and
fellow-men, there
of
The
.
all women,
well
as
good manners
agreeabletones and
to
present
book, the aim
a
duty of
able
a
all
they can,
and
in
harmonious
3
of which
to look
pretty woman
and
to it.
men
and
A
is to
duty,
The
combiuations
show
pretty. It is
too, to look
whoever
French
and
fails in
ear
have
be-
this,
demands
of tones
"
How
60
and
pleasantwords
Behaye.
TO
sweet
in profane
and untimely laughter,or
talking,in boisterous
or
vulgar language, or sing out of tune, you
its
offend
rightsand
good
for its
requirespleasantodors
its proper
worse
filthygarments, or the
whisky, or the offensive
within
its
feet
of
or
best
The
of
a
claim
the way
the
as
if the
And
and
can
not
rights"of
go
the nature
time,
we
a
Each
our
nature
respect.
You
can
has
upon
upon
toleration
respectful
Manners
"
on
Book"
Every
freedom
or
trulysays
denial
absolute
them
upon
point or
a
and
not
offended
It has
manners.
the
"
bill of
and
yourself,
In the
you.
here
two
trespass
good
for
that
at least
are
not
his
proper
us
The
or
her
and
mean
tbore.
opinions,and
all than
author
the
of
there
and
occasions,
"
The
is
to
no
compjete
most
Illustrated
:
with,
interference
rights of another, is a
of, or
so
Opinions.
right to
them
binding
more
analyze
can
a
of
violation
a
of their claims
expression of
and
drinks.
admit
must
complete expositionof
You
will touch
person
we
rights,
feelingsof
3.
duty
cultivated
less
and
Faculties,
without
into
each.
learn
the
palatablefoods
their
this
in
of them
one
or
garlics
or
its
The
have
senses
equally dowered
We
of
others, has
higher faculties
upon
tobacco
of onions
scent
feeling,though
2.
the
bad
of
rightstoo, and is
roughness,and hardness.
great coarseness,
for a higher culture.
us
on
sensitive
too
stench
unwashed
of
fetid odor
is
of
act
an
give in
sense
by
for
can
we
smell
of
sense
impoliteness. The sense
agreeable flavors, and has a rightto the
sphere,is
asks
taste
violate
enjoyment. Fragrance
bring the
To
element.
The
manners.
loud
indulgein
If you
songs.
the
personal
violation
of
How
62
should
and
consider
Behave.
TO
suggestionsrespectingthem
any
impertinei/t.
Each
"
room
intrusion
child, grown
it.
justify
So
of every
unsealed,
the
read
to
or
relation, however
It is ill
written
a
center-table,cards
a
presumed
are
where
to be
manners
you
and
;
always
that
by implication,
means,
business
Books
an
what
read, and
his
pers,
newspaBe
ful
care-
handle,
you
feelings. DonH
business," which
let other
must
you
case
business, his
one's
own
your
without
open
card-case, and
a
a
people's
Conformity,
.
and
in
or
alone.
5
You
and
open
lyingopen,
for examination.
mind
"
to
even
in privateapartments."
particularly
This
to
right to privacy extends
personal relations,his thoughts,and
intrude
intimate,
unlocked, sealed
or
paper
in
open
go, what
you
be
trunks, boxes, packets,papers,
permissionexpressed or implied.
on
discretion, should
of
individual,locked
a
is to the family.
the house
as
years
No
sacred.
are
book-case,
to
intrusion.
outraged by
letters
have
dwellingshould, if possible,
a
from
sacred
as
can
in
person
No
or
needless
must
conform, to
give offense,to
of
matters,
the
such
extent
an
the customs, whether
circle
in which
you
as
not
to annoy
in dress
other
or
This
move.
formity
con-
impliedcondition in the social compact. It
is a practical
recognitionof the rightof others,and shows
merely a proper regard for their opinions and feelings.
is
If you
can
remain
key,
if you
and
the
sing in
not
silent.
but that does
wrong,
even
an
can,
a
low
and
to
sooner
you
You
not
the
So
if
company
take your
with
the rest,
may
be
alter the
bring them
accord.
manners
tune
or
right and
case.
the
on
the
same
others
Convince
them,
mar
pitch,but never
not adapt your dress
can
you
in which
you find yourself,
to
leave
your
the better.
You
may
and
Fundamental
should
endeavor, in
fashions
and
their
in
Principles.
a
as
the
Romans
The
midst
those
to
with
it.
of
"
If
by
to
be
and
and
spheres
as
to
his
the
was
an
tea
his
into
on
gentleman
;
highest
law
a
violation
demands
in all relations.
two
to
anecdote
some
complete
that
ness
polite-
only permit,
of
the
harmony
so.
to
serves
true
his
coua-
enjoying, did
often not
of
stroyed.
de-
once
contrary
important principle; namely,
manners
selves
our-
sion
particularocca-
a
was
this
tion.
rela-
plucked
or
is at
saucer,
and
that
cause
etiquetteof society,because
genuine good
and
that
king
bers
mem-
rights can
of
out
born
are
also
our
usefulness
our
possi
one-side
are
grow
he
hospitalities
a
a
our
we
an
complex
from
but
as
is
offending hand,
an
certain
a
absolutely demand,
rules of etiquette.
The
do
relations
non-conformity we
our
off, like
of
ours
society,and
which
offending eye,
turned
king
rights;"
duties
of
cut
an
illustrate
in
your
by
sovereign individuals,and
the
means
of
arise
errors
inalienable
try ladies, whose
That
"
must
isolation
as
modified
life
larger individual
It is related
custom
This
are
with
conflict
he
till
to reside
conduct,
your
thing
a
society,are
greatest
We
certain
out, like
there, you
govern
such
you.
our
of that
not
should
of
around
affair,and
views
which
individual, were
in the
ble
to live
company,
its rules
to
compelled
not
are
no
do."
rules
isolated
You
have
your
conform
toms
cus-
injurious
time, you
choose
must
such
or
wrong,
mean
may
choose
if you
; but
the
it,you
them.
change
can
deem
may
in
change
to
way,
You
them.
violate
but, having chosen
Rome
you
tendency, but,
right to
you
proper
53
hut
arbitrary
in
all
How
54
the
afRxed
free
which
qualifiedsense
to the
in his
term
E
and
H
A
Y
E
.
EQUALITY.
lY."
In
B
TO
no
mind,
own
doubt
"'
all
Mr.
men
Jefferson
created
are
The
himself
had long
noble
Oracle"
equaV
before as
asserted the natural equality
of man.
explicitly
In 1739, thirty-seven
the Declaration
of
before
years
Chesterfield
wrote
:
penned, Lord
Independence w^s
ever
We
of the same
are
species,and no distinction what"
''
is between
except that which
us,
arises
from
fortune.
For
would
Lizette
and
be your
example, your footman
equals were
Being poor, they are
they as rich as you.
Therefore
to
must
not add
obliged to serve
you.
you
their misfortune
them.
A good
or
by insulting
ill-treating
heart
reminds
never
deavors
people of their misfortune, but enthem forgetit."
to alleviate,
to make
or, if possible,
in IjifeIllustrated^quoted in a previous
The
writer
chapter,states the case very clearlyas follows :
of their rightsthat men
It is in the sacredness
are
Smallest
equal. The
injusticedone to the smallest man
"
on
earth
all
men
is
have
picks my
entitled, The
*
whole
State
John, and
against all
personaland
a
Smith
If John
offense
an
of New
arrays
pocket, the
versus
has
York
;
offense
an
in
equal interest
People
itself
men
taken
againstJohn
cause
in
avenging.
in court
is
Smith.'
John
up
which
my
rectly
cor-
The
quarrel with
awful
majesty ;
are
pockets,the interests,the rightsof a man
and therefore equally^
sacred.
infinitely^
of this truth is the beginning and
The
conviction
of republicanetiquette,
which
ftasis of the science
knowledges
acdistinctions.
Its leadingprincino
ple
artificial
the
because
'*
is,that courtesy is due
to the served
the servant
and
from
both
both
are
to
all
; from
men
from
the served
all
men
to the
;
from
servant
;
cause
preciselythe same
reason,
namely, behuman
!"
beings and jfeZ/oiy-citizens
for
Fundamental
a
y."
We
eemakk
in
purpose,
in
are
in
the
laid
light of
the
conform
to
of
etiquette.
reason
and
reason
may
others, you
You
do
to
from
should
you
hat,
wine,
you
matters
will
circles
would
be
customs
of
to
of
gloved
conform
will
the
or
"
of
dress
under
breach
should
you
follow
will
higher law
it.
cline
de-
matter
and
the
at
this
it
same
right.
coat,
or
in
of
cup
points
people
without
courtesy
a
with
entirelyright,
if it is
or
these
manners.
courteously, and
;" but
the
stances,
circum-
with
mingle
all
drink
or
in
good
If
pipe
stove-
a
ordinary
they probably think
certainlyhave
the
flesh-meat,
eat
ungloved hands,
to usage.
but
;
to
beyond
non-conformity
a
not
so
a
or
principle,you
u[)on
truth
clearlywrong,
exercise
which
that
can
you
the
less
meaning-
living
a
a
possible,putting yourself
as
hair,
in
respect for what
knife, you
far
as
do
to
deemed
whose
fall hack
he
naturally avoid,
the
be
advanced
or
had
however,
looking upon
you,
manners
your
it is necessary
proper
to
call for the
cut
or
ry
arbitra-
right,politelyhut firmly, to
avoid,
When
violation
it
rule
or
have
or
form
is
ought
you
most
ca^es,
what
already
usage,
hive
the
conscientiously wear
not
can
far
these
at
have
the
many
outgrown
seems
positionswhich
you
In
briefly,
good society
look
how
even
either
embodies
of good
breach
time
that
them
have
what
of
must
say
higheststand-point,to
your
no
to
us
believe
undoubted
an
forth
set
particularcustom,
any
it
may
have
You
longer exist, and
while
or
;
remembeeed.
requirements
for
meaning.
no
55
general principleswe
We
a
be
behavior.
capricious of
and
to
actual
It is not
can
in
the
to
down.
two
succeeding chapters,to
reference
or
is
oe
clearly,what
but
Phinciples.
saucer,
and
ter
mat-
mere
a
fork
good
sense
or
How
66
Behave.
TO
V.
MANNERS.
DOMESTIC
Home
the
is
little world
a
of
experience
likely to pay
of
furnishes
itself,and
pleasure
every
pain.
or
dearly for less agreeable
I." A
OOD
lessons
TEST
a
If
in
OF
manners
are
not
exercise
by
school.
Its
upon
to be
not
put
in your
on
is
Politeness
If you
you.
and
for
will
be
Harrison.
"
don
it
occasions, it will be
rare
virtue
of every
opportunities, he
MANNEES.
GOOD
every-day wear.
and
for the
profit
another
best clothes.
one's
sphere
one
If you
not
off with
article for
an
only
sure
are
and
special
on
to
well
wardly
sit awkbehaved
family circle,you will hardly be
truly so anywhere, however
strictly
you
may
conform
of good breeding,
to the observances
when
in society. The
true gentleman or lady is a gentleman
or
lady at all times and in all places at home as well
abroad
in the field,or workshop, or in the kitchen, as
as
in the parlor. A
is
well
snob
snoh
as
a
always and
everywhere.
own
"
"
"
If you
behave
see
a
to his father
or
children
fail to exercise
at his
;
him
make
may
not
do
as
same
duties
down
around
as
fall into the
to behave
The
a
rude
a
the
common
his
own
and
or
uncivil
sisters,his wife
courtesies
fireside,you
boor, whatever
manner
or
of life
may
he
pretensions
at
may
gentility.
to
Do
in
mother, his brothers
table and
own
set
once
or
man
grow
absurd
error
of
supposing that
you
that is,unless you please
please at home
in a perfectly
gentlemanlyor ladylikemanner.
rightsexist there as elsewhere, and the same
you
out
"
of
them, while
the
natural
respect and
Manneks.
Domestic
which
affectioQ
should
other
all the
family for
Let
sacredness.
good
your
children
are
and
each
by
CHILDKEN.
sorry to be
obligedto say it)
not, as a generalrule, well behaved.
They are rude
if not disobedient.
terror
disrespectful,
They inspire
rather
who
than
seek
board
(we
the
to their
infinitely
then, begin at home.
manners,
AND
of
member
add
members,
II.-PAEENTS
American
felt
be
67
love in the breasts of
quietand
like order.
steamers, in
our
are
strangersand
In
drawing-rooms,on
our
and
railwaycars
our
all persons
stage coaches,
themselves
they usuallycontrive to make
generallyand
forwardness,
particularly
disagreeable
by their familiarity,
and pertness.
not brook restraint,
can
Young America"
has no conceptionof superiority,
and reverences
nothing.
His ideas of equality
neither limitation nor
admit
cation.
qualifiHe is born with a full comprehension of his own
individual rights,
but is slow in learninghis social duties.
this state of things? American
Through whose fault comes
much
and
as
good sense
boys and girlshave naturally
good-natureas those of any other nation,and, when well
and
courteous
trained, no children are more
agreeable.
In the days of our
The
fault lies in their education.
at school
children were
a
taughtmanners
grandfathers,
"
"
rude, backwoods
rather
better than
must
the
would
respectedby
raries,teach them
young
at all of the
manners
parents in this
blame
If you
and
no
have
their
Those
good
enough
are
old
children
well
as
first learn to
up beloved
their
cotempo-
obey,that
he
The
may
be
in his turn.
enough
to take the matter
grow
as
their children.
than
in their childhood.
manners
fitted to command
who
your
present day. We
rather
matter
elders
sovereignshould
the better
it is true, but
of manners,
sort
to
into their
3*
study this book,
own
are
old
hands, and remedy
How
58
the defects
and
We
Allow
to
and
your
fifth commandment
He
his
mother
*'
as
the
home.
at
and
intercourse
with
to
venture
old woman,"
been
the
into
ample
ex-
the life
tentions
respectfulat-
his
viving
only surspoke of his
say,
her
addressed
or
father
not
to you
tender
cause
to your
Look
Country.
we
never,
and
has
commend
We
what
mark
characterized
parent.
due
the deference
of his
and
Washington,
cation.
earlyedu-
libertyand equality"to
"
abrogated.
Father
of their
at once,
commence
of
The
be
not
can
to
deficiencies
moment
a
mother.
of the
of
them
false ideas
forgetfor
you
and
supply the
beg
no
Behaye.
TO
with
inci-
\^ility. Never," an old friend of yours adjuresyou,
youthfullevityor the example of others betray you
of your parents or elders
of the claims
forgetfulness
certain
doubt
we
heart.
*'
Nature,
deference."
not, has
Let
your
Toward
still more
into
to
a
sage,
injunctionupon your
do justiceto your feelings1
manners
father," that polishedand courtly gentleman
same
"
your
of the
Gentleman's
the
written
counselor
a
let
"
"
school," the
old
Guide
author
to Politeness
and
of the
"American
Fashion," says,
"
serve
pre-
mingled with a certain
always a deferential manner,
that entire
that thorough confidence
frankness
indicating
understandingof each other, which is the best guarantee
value to every
in both, and of inestimable
-of good sense
blessed with
a
man
right-mindedparent. Accept
young
dictated by experience with respect, receive
the advice
and hasten
even
reproof without impatience of manner,
"
afterward
to prove
of what
a
or
too
inner
on,
render
"
and
There
cherish
seemed
resentful
no
to you
too
of home,
attention that
be
well
as
where
*
*
the world
Iq
looks
due.
reverence
should
as
brance
remem-
great severity
assumption of authority. *
temple
him
have
may
manifest
the
that you
mingled with
marks
your
manner
the habitual
to
your
deference
mother
the
HowTO
60
tice
in
gracefully
so
will not, you
is
does
it appear
Stiff
attractive
more
cold
formalityand
and
anywhere,
the easy,
of
of
out
never
than
frank, and
and
place ;
nowhere
repulsive
are
in the
is refined
ness
polite-
at home.
familycircle
of the
genial intercourse
being marred,
gentlemen
True
ceremoniousness
so
particularly
are
other
him.
be lost upon
sure,
lost,and
never
with
intercourse
your
be
may
Behave.
and
made
;
but
stead
fireside,in-
still
lightful
de-
more
by courtesy.
IV."
Reader,
are
is not
a
hope
be,
to
just as
you
The
in any
of
sooner
If you
should
of those
delicate
never
with
which
marked
his heart's
that
you
All the
claimed
he
is
withholds
true
no
them.
love
by
no
her
Let
action.
lack
of
the
sadly of
no
the
sweet
unkind
your
dearer
is
than
the
sweetheart
probably your
The
chosen
own
no
and
forms
no
enough
not
wife.
is
You
must
of
speech
seeming
ence,
indiffer-
her, remind
of
the wife
?
We
fault if she
companion
husband
due
self-
moon.
courtshipand the honeythought would have been
you
priceof a world is worth all you
days
Is not
to preserve.
care
word,
little attentions
Surely the love
cheaply purchased at the
ful
respect-
mistress
a
It is
put this honor, respect, and love into the
and
intercourse
observance, all the
be
honor, respect, and
expressions
his
queen.
courteous
who
lover,or fail
a
tender
and
devotion
that can
sacrificing
certainlydue to a wife, and
gentleman
will address
we
to be
cease
attentions
solicitude
deference, every
true
doubtless
not, you
are
were.
husband
marriage
if the question
us,
excuse
later,and therefore
or
if you
WIFE.
But
?
one.
proper
AND
HUSBAND
married
you
affectionate
before
THE
of your
more,
and
venture
to
better, and
hint
that it
is not.
life,the mother
of your
Domestic
children,the
sharer
the
possesses
of all your
joys
attentions,the softest,kindest
politest
est care.
Love, duty,and good manners
And
has
and
sorrows,
she
as
the
wife
the
tender
duties ?
no
words, the
alike
Have
the
tender-
require it.
servance
ob-
courteous
watchfulness, the pleasant words,
devotion,which
won
never-tiring
smiles, your
your
the
spoken thanks,
by,
much,
as
because
thanks
and
view, and
him
with
has
not
let him
trust
than
you
can)
;
them,
please
to
his
be
"
v."
"
;
politeeven
fear it is not
still look
more
try
sake
;
same
and
way
days
yourself
sing (if
from
you
his
wor
husband.
THEIR
rank
held
play
to
up
lously
scrupu-
; make
beguile him
to
in the
high
always
for his
AND
a
heart.
own
husband
be
same
of other
to your
ENTERTAINEKS
the
that the love
for his
him
with
eyes
less
this not
your
of the world
rest
affections
Hospitalitytakes
Ask
?
rightly
find him
may
him
reward
Dress
beautiful
retain
and
affection
for all the
home
your
and
you,
happinessof your
^w^ feel that you
see
cold.
grown
and
and
husband
If you
?
due
smiles
sweeter
the comfort
Have
fail to
the
not
least,as the lover
sometimes
you
sweet
at
self,in days gone
very
Does
?
of the little courtesies
observant
cares
kisses, your
your
lost their value
now
claim
in
61
highest place in your affections,should
place everywhere, the choicest morsels, the
the best
have
Mannees..
GUESTS.
the
among
in
social
tues
vir-
merly.
foras
high esteem
often fatiguingand
Its duties
are
irksome, no
One
of the
doubt, and sometimes
quiteunnecessarilyso.
of hospitality
most
is, Let your guests
importantmaxims
If it were
alone !"
generallyobserved, it would save both
hosts and visitors a world
of trouble.
Your
first object
should be to make
This
they
your guests feel at home.
;
but
we
so
"
never
can
do
while
your
needless
bustle
and
obtrusive
How
62
constantly remind
attentions
devote
and
in that
matter
a
You
you.
of course,
and
not
to be
should
seem
Begging your visitors to
the home
does not give them
friendliness, and
attention
ceived
their
to
your
domestic
their
visit does
were,
naturallyinto
Observe
guest of
a
what
to
whatever
a
own.
Furnish
a
alone
to
ing
receiv-
;
vacant
either
w^th
will
unperthis.
impart
possiblewith
that
see
but
that
they fall,as
place in
your
household.
see
happen
you
you,
or
you
home,"
ed
unaffect-
them
lettincj-
thus
who, though he may
to
at
almost
little as
as
you,
much
be very
the
your
know
to
not
seems
be
to
it
again,when
himself; and
at ease^as
in
another, you feel as much
the difference, more
Mark
easilyfelt than
of
the
lesson
for your
rooms
your
profuse is
visitors know
they do
not
of the
manners
and
absurd
for
table
and
no
the
whether
they will
deduce
fuss
well
your
soon
guests
your
about
and
it.
to
as
ruinous.
income
is
learn,on
in
as
of the
circumstances
meanness,
as
two, and
improvement.
own
good style as your means
will permit,and make
case
sparing shows
if
and
feelingswhen
own
described, between
therefrom
themselves
wants
disturb
reallyglad
house
the
and
make
will
feeling. Genuine,
to interfere
not
person
do
make
'^
arrangements
your
friend, and
your
done
be
conferringbut
unobtrusive
an
their presence
Allow
your
of
favor.
a
in
which
trouble
no
fort
com-
source
it should
way
trary,
con-
their
every
but
;
delicate, considerate
easy,
seem
reach
your
the
On
promote
them
to
at
that you
mean
guests.
to
not
are
were.
to
us
assiduouslylabor
within
they
they
your
enjoyment, opening
entertainment
it
attention to
no
should
you
wish
understand
will not, of course,
should
that
them
them
home, and perhaps make
You
Behave.
TO
To
be
be
necessarily
un-
gantly
extrava-
Probably
large or small,
that
point,all
Domestic
that it is necessary
all
by
the
means
habit of
depreciating
your
expressinguncalled-for
and
better to
offer,merely
contradict
to
politely
other
and
extreme
of
visitors
course
it at
and
once
own
show
cumstance
cir-
no
say
But
the
nothing
opportunity
an
not
them.
before
set
you
the
to
go
matters.
intention
desire
do
manners
against their
retain them
have
need
you
meats
foolish
very
furniture,or viands,
rooms,
regrets that you
any
the
but
common
very
you.
extol
express
longer, but good
to
make
if any
things should
of
give your guests
to
these
Say nothing about
When
But
know.
to
it.
about
Avoid
63
ordinary course
apology necessary,
an
more
for them
of the
out
render
Manners.
of
require you
not
them
feel to have
you
wishes
or
will
leaving,you
sense
stay
to
endeavor
of
duty.
It
affairs best.
supposed that they know their own
Guests
sometimes
learned) that
forget (ifthey ever
We
beg leave to jog their memory
they have any duties.
Mrs.
the gracefulpen of
the followinghints from
with
is to be
"
Manners
To
"
:"
accommodate
yourselfto
the habits
and
rules
of
and
family,in regard to hours of risingor retiring,
the hours
for meals, is the first duty of a
particularly
the
Inform
as
possiblewhen
yourselfas soon
guest.
there will be a dressing-bell at
whether
meals
occur
the
"
"
what
time
they
better way
usual
to
of
habits
conform
a
;
become
quainted
ac-
for
a
it is
a
much
all the
to those
than
routine,which
may
simpler matter
for half
be
a
dozen
almost
importunateduties.
happiness of any reasonable
that his presence
is
no
restraint
and
for
one
to be
to
learn
thrown
out
indispensableto
fulfillment of their
promote the
thus
family regulations.It is always
to all their
family to adhere strictly
with
the
and
for prayers,
meet
no
It
the
certainlymust
person
to
know
inconvenience.
64
How
"
Your
good
own
and
sense
of keeping
desirability
of dress
is
a
and
toilet
much
as
make
her
for the
possible,and
never
saw
better
which, under
other
menial
;
made
or
others.
and
At
we
one
all
are
are
case
serves
as
us
performing
time
other.
or
may
us
or
our
relation
the
been
sidered
con-
was
rounded
sur-
used
a
at another
wealth.
or
in which
we
in
natural
this
Be
to him
stand
who
woman
inferior
our
,
respect in the
the
or
served
are
we
and
man
be
not
may
another, upon
her
or
it
as
gives
rightbeyond the exaction of the service stipulated
The
rightto tyrannize over
impliedin that relation.
to unnecessarily humiliate
inferiors in social position,
no
them,
rude
to be
or
w^ould
be
an
have
duties
labor
for
have
claims
unkind
and
infringementof
well
rights as
or
service
a
never
or
way
The
capacity,learning, manners,
may,
one
of honor
equally worthy
in the
to
SEEYANTS.
serve,
we
I
life."
dependent, in
one
much
appear
house, she
own
certainlyshe
in her
tate
hesi-
power.
once
yet, in her
YI."
We
that is in her
acquaintance
and
If there
as
circumstances, might have
bed
a
for herself
of my
when
by servants,
broom
do
to
family all
than
advantage
articles
your
possible.
as
the
you
lady will certainlynot
a
elegant lady
an
tidy,and
in order
bed, and
own
teach
delicacywill
room
your
deficiencyof servants,
to
as
Behave.
TO
as
whom
those
well
as
the
as
something
us
on
womanhood,
us
and
for
other
a
than
full
We
owe
their
recognitionof
rightswhich
have
Servants
the
latter
those
who
and
serve,
former.
more
all the
rights.
they
it
exist, because
not
can
wages.
They
their manhood
grow
out
of that
state.
The
or
rude
true
to
gentleman
domestics
or
is
never
arrogant, or overbearing
employees.
His
commands
are
Manners.
Domestic
servant,
We
needless
and
the
There
lady.
true
is
of
generally.
one
is
too
It
little
those
but
you,"
the
poor
to
of
toward
a
words
bestow,
of
vulgarity
than
and
or
often
too
rich
to
better
to
the
"
say,
than
receive
a
haughty
a
inferiors
and
thing
favors.
were
of
authority
small
the
emphasis
servants
are
humble
they
greater
sign
tone
is
if
as
still
surer
no
bearing
supercilious
thanks,
with
same
assumption
station
No
say
how
matter
no
with
received
are
might
services,
all
and
requests,
65
I
in
thank
gold.
them.
HowtoBehaye
66
VI.
OBSERVANCES
THE
Good
manners
equally
to
money
are
the
in
both
expected
a
bankrupt.
OF
people
; and
social,as
will
no
specie
of
commercial
their
civility
is
advance
more
LIFE.
life
to
PKELIMINAEY
have
we
great world
principlesto lay
new
no
essay
laws
of
how
far he
leavingeach
etiquette,
to
ought to conform
they require to adapt them
to
and
time, place,and
You
inflicted
confer
do
position;
you
Be
name
for
"
become
you
introduce.
share, in
cautious
on
to
a
and
;
also
If he
a
nominal
you
maj/
change
or
of another
body
every-
put yourself in
is
a
social
less
as
on
one
positive
a
unpleasant
an
indorsement,"
responsiblefor
degree,
you
man's
would
note.
the
whom
one
inflict
disgraces himself
in this matter
the back
a
to introduce
acquainted with
us
certain extent
greater
a
to
Anything but agreeable.
only
introduction
an
you
as
and
us,
You
both.
them, and
promiscuous presentations
are
us
to know
desire
not
injury upon
and
the
presented,by making
person
we
and
on
desirable
nor
upon
favor
no
judge for
INTEODUCTIONS.
necessary
everybody ;
sometimes
shall
We
circumstances.
II."
to
universal
established
the
reader
can
modifications
It is neither
exposition of
brief
a
now
down
forth and
guidance. Those we have set
of
illustrated in previous chapters are
all contingencies.
and meet
application
of
ave
their
lies outside
which
for your
what
than
KEMARK.
into the
going out
]) of home
himself
: returns
bear,
a
Chesterfield.
"
I." A
N
of
medium
settled
EVERY-DAY
in any
in his
in
the person
way,
disgrace.
writing your
HowtoBehaye.
68
you,
if you
lady
or
much
in the
superior in
a
of
you
stood
age
a
In
case.
be
enough. Feeling should
In introducing
members
mention
always
the
of your
Say,
name.
My daughter Miss Jones," or
wife is simply "Mrs.
Jones;"
Jones
Mrs.
in the
etc.
sister-in-law,"
my
lady,"or
in
bow
is
a
"
father
My
"
if there
and
Your
**
as
Mr.
as
register
be
to
Jones,
Mrs.
"
wife
of your
hotel
Jones,"
happen
be
may
Mr.
Jones."
Mary
Miss
should
my
Jones
snobbish.
lady, is particularly
and
Introductions
rules
ones
forms
as
;
subjectto
are
the
general
same
still more
should, however, be
we
:
givingthem
in
well
letter
by
verbal
as
cautious
as
a
hand
familyyou
own
family,she
To
speak
yourselves on
enter
too
in this matter.
govern
"
another
introductions
formal
merely
the
extend
the first to
have
will
accept it cordially. You
course
to
self-respect
such
positionof the superior. If a
offers the hand,
social position
or
for directions
but
for letters
of
this
on
introduction,see
"
point,
How
to
Write," Chapter IX.
But
not
we
may
ti'on ?
In many
There
is
may
no
the
should
be
same
remain
they have
because
might
cases
reason
occupy
coach
speak
not
agreeableto
to
a
without
person
mtroduc-
an
certainlymay and should.
in the world
why two persons who
seat
in a railway car
or
a
stage
silent during the whole
journey
most
we
been
introduced, when
both.
The
remark
same
will
to many
other
occasions.
to know
these
extempore acquaintances afterward.
If you
lack
of
are
an
offeringyour
a
You
conversation
gentleman, do not,
introduction
services
to
not
are
we
obliged,however,
beg
prevent you
unattended
you,
from
permit
any
the
promptly
lady who
off your hat and politely
them.
Take
need
beg the
of protecting,
escorting,or assistingher, and when
service has been accomplished,bow
and retire.
to
apply
may
honor
tho
Observances
"
Eveky-day
of
iii."
salutations.
Salutation,"a French
writer
Life.
touchstone
is the
"
says,
69
that
of
will teach you
good breeding." Your good sense
it should vary in stylewith persons, times, places,and
You
hearty shake
will
of the hand
in
interest,
reference
To
person
A
another
should
unless
a
company
better in
It is
how
a
form
with
person
to
the
is
'^
it,you
Fourth,
a
true
"
in
meet
quarrel,it
a
must
salutes
pay
failed
salutation,
no
a
drawn
note
a
never
is
to
If you
The
full amount."
the
to
sight.
at
bow," La
"A
you.
and
the Second
take
matter
two
George
hats
off their
knowledge
ac-
to
the
than
either,
subjects. A. greater man
ington,
gentleman of the old school," George Wash-
wont
was
slave, who
took
lift his hat
to
off his
as
IV."
The
duty
the mistress
easy,
If you
of their
meanest
and
who
England, Charles
in
men
to return
not
person
says,
best bred
gether,
alto-
existence
have
you
person,
coldlyand ceremoniouslythan
bow
great rudeness
Fontaine
of any
presence
of salutation.
whom
But
him.
see
humble
the
into the
some
generalto
not
seem
family.
speaking.
libertyto ignore their
feel at
without
that of his
and
bow
come
a
of real
inquiryindicative
an
to his health
you
never
you
and
with
friend
intimate
an
without
respectfully
recognitionsuffices in another case.
of
slightnote
you
meet
cumstance
cir-
of
of
quiet,and
unnecessary
guests
negro
passed.
great man
EECEPTIONS.
and
self-possessed^
manner,
ceremony.
and
poor
receivingvisitors usuallydevolves upon
the house, and should be performed in an
at their ease,
both to them
that
the
to
even
to
and
In
make
this way
you
their call
yourself. From
a
or
without
will
put your
visit
littlebook
any
pleasant
before us,
70
How
entitled
this
on
When
If it is
; if
one
the arm-chair
sofa.
he
;
If the
will take
from
them
toward
will
at once,
from
a
her
of the
house
the
if she
her.
near
of the
corners
"
the
should
withdraw, the
them
as
stranger, the
a
any
persons
the
do
master
far
ladies
the
her,
come
who,
one
to
spect.
re-
those
placesare
or
at
who
If
same.
may
some
alreadyin
of
them
the house
door.
But
whoever
then
should
the
door
duct
con-
person
we
company,
the
of
be
of
have other
departs,if we
dispense with conducting farther than
mistress
or
mistress
the
as
master
who
be
may
visits
entitled
most
honorable
of the
fireplace.
rises, and
room
lady who
placeto
considerations,is
If the visitor is
the house
visitors,
little distance
a
If several
honorable
most
In winter, the most
the
the
with
the
upon
contrary, it is the mistress
herself
other
or
at
a
accepting
the
receives
place himself
is intimate
give the
his
seated
be
to
to sit
arm-chair, or
an
insist upon
lady,beg
and
if,on
we
age
if
offerhim
elderlyman,
an
chair
place
ful
use-
not, rise
or
request him
him, and
man,
young
master
a
;
house, and
she
a
announced
enters, whether
immediately,advance
stuffed
few
a
subject:
one
any
down.
condense
Etiquette for Ladies," we
"
hints
*'
Behave.
TO
may
of
the
room."
and unaffected
Quiet self-possession
you
to
if not
make
even
a
absolutely
pleasantto
Y."
Visits
forms
ceremonious
are
and
VISITS
of various
observances.
courtesy will enable
morning
both
the caller
AND
CALLS.
kinds, each
There
are
of which
call
and
tolerable,
yourself.
has
its
own
visits of ceremony,
visits of condolence, visits of
congratulation,
friendship.
Visits of ceremony,
though they take up a large share
visits of
Obsekyances
of the time
as
Eyery-day
of
of the fashionable
general thing,and
a
except
they
Fashion.
"
and
may
You
little to
best
thing
them
recommend
them
about
is
that
be short.
the
to your friends
on
congratulation
of any
in his
particularly
auspicious event
his appointment to any office or dignity.
occurrence
Visits
should
stupidaffairs
very
have
71
visits of
pay
family,or
The
lady,are
Life.
on
should
of condolence
which
after the event
be
made
within
the
week
calls for them.
visits of
Let
own
friendshipbe governed by friendship's
We
laws, and the universal
principlesof good manners.
shall give no
particularrules for the regulationof their
time or their length.
''
*
Morning calls,"the
the
are
small
assemblies
ten
nor
country
between
than
little
a
can
and
to
as
call from
takes
The
a
his hat
lady
time
and
does
before
if he
take
who
a
or
less than
city;
in
morning
six, in which
in
Morning,
the
call is
friends
your
case
are
you
fashionable
dinner."
visit of ceremony,
cane,
not
attendingladies
or
for
the
says,
partiesand
;
call is not
time
three.
to
call
morning
A
in
at five
Book"
commerce
o'clock,unless
dme
any
Manners
minutes
The
two
twelve
parlance,means
In
twenty
longer.
eleven
fashionable
so
Illustrated
change of social
the heavy drafts.
are
more
"
carries
off her
the
one,
bonnet
gentleman
into the
and
room.
shawl.
In
making morning calls,a gentleman
assists them
up the steps,rings the heW, followsthem
and waits till they have finished their saluinto the room,
tations,
he
has
unless
a
part to perform in presenting
should
Ladies
them.
minating
always be the first to rise in tera
visit,and when
they have made their adieuoc,
their cavaliers
Soiled
into
any
repeat the ceremony,
overshoes
room
are
or
devoted
wet
and
garments
to the
use
follow
should
of ladies.
them
not
be
out.
worn
Gentlemen
72
HowtoBehave.
must
remain
never
whom
he
in the
seated
of ladies
company
ceremoniously associated,
is
relieve
shawls,
whenever
etc.
of their
ladies
standing. Always
while
will
this
with
they
are
parcels,parasols,
conduce
their
to
convenience."*
call
If you
on
a
leave
to see,
card
a
is
If there
card.
home," leave your
desire
who
person
for
**
when
speak
spoken to,
not
persons
desire
or
present your compliments to them
should
be returned, personallyor
should
several
are
each,
''
engaged,"or
answer
you
servant
a
severally. All
by card, just as
or
at
to
visits
one
respectful
a
letter.
In
visitingat
card
your
well
as
his
to
the
as
with
room
When
are
you
T.
written
first,
"
taking
you
would
if you
return
from
a
were
should
not
wishes
he
therefore, who
the
his card
the
it is
sent
a
for whom
intended,
send
is better"
as
cards
many
ordinaryvisit.
or
his
to be
never
"
Colonel
Lunettes."
$
"
t
Etiquette for Gentlemen,"
"
Manners
first
one
understood
The
cease.
discarded, should
the
you
marriage,any
another, it is
to
whom,
to
persons
as
When
person,
again visit
other.:j:
*
it,
upon
it is intended.
cards, will pay
voyage
to
former
all the
acquaintance
is thus
the
man
voyage,
your
visit.
that
home, send
written
for whom
family,you
paying an
going,you have
If, previouslyto
send
a
the person
to
of
leave
In
for
it
direct it outside
before
at
room
going abroad, intendingto be absent for
inclose your card in an
envelope,having,
T. L. [to take leave],or P. P. C. [pour
prendre conge] upon
you
address
your
friend's
your
If not
you.
of the person
name
time, you
and
enter
mistakes.!
to avoid
some
not
announced
has
card
till your
hotel, do
a
Book."
Observances
Visitingcards should
Those
printedon
be
Life.
73
engraved or handsomely
type
doubt, because
considered
are
ten.
writ-
ply,
vulgar, sim-
cheap. A gentleman's
should be of medium
size,unglazed,ungilt,and perfectly
plain. A lady'scard may be largerand finer,and
no
card
should
carried
be
If you
should
in
they
happen
have
would
with
precipitately
a
small
a
be
invited.
been
you
for
ease
at
a
party
present yourselfprecisely
apology for the intrusion
Go
extremely awkward.
with
converse
had
done
an
and
scene,
and
is
there
you,
enter
evening visit
paying an
to be
to
assembled, you should
you
are
card-case.
a
house, where, unknown
as
Every-day
of
few
a
retire
To
would
ate
cre-
fore,
in, thereand
moments,
then
retire.
wear
frock
a
coat,
or
a
gentleman to
coat, if the latter happen
sack
a
frock
The
in fashion.
be
allows
making morning calls,usage
In
is now,
coat
in this
to
country,
and even
at a ball,but is not
dinner-parties,
considered
in good ton or style.
of a writer of their
Ladies, accordingto the authority
should
make
own
morning calls in an elegant and
sex,
not give,
all the details of which
we
can
simple neglige,
cations
modifiand the numerous
of their multiplicity
account
on
for them, when
It is necessary
of fashion.
visiting
tolerated
at
"
at this
time, to arrange
VI."
Be
to
never
grace
avail
make
house, you
If you
care."
APPOINTMENTS.
is better
hour's
an
allowed.
an
should
consecrate
great
keeping all appointments. It
the quarter of
yourselfof even
sometimes
If you
and
in
exact
their toilet with
your
accept
an
appointmentwithienother
be
invisible
time
to
solelyto
appointment at
4
the
rest
at your
own
of the
world,
of
public
him.
the house
a
74
HowTO
officer
or
of
man
a
affair with
the
At
business,
dispatch,and
dinner
a
Behave.
or.
punctual,transact
very
retire
which
to
supper
be
the
moment
you
have
it is finished.
accepted an
invitation,be absolutelypunctual. It is very
arrive
an
late.
If
hour
find
you
where
occasion
with
before
yourselfin
still worse
the latter
is
ceremony
apology,and
an
rest, and
the
annoying
be
to
predicament
too
on
in your
required,send
to
an
card,
retire.
MANNEES.
VII.-TABLE
speak in another place of the ceremonious
servatio
observances
requisiteat formal dinner parties. Our obhere will be of a more
general character,and
of universal
application.
Sit firmlyin your
Take
your seat quietlyat the table.
chair without lolling,
leaning back, drumming, or any other
shall
We
uncouth
Eat
lap.
chewing
Cut
used
your
fork
that
or
hands
to
convey
bread,
not
cut
from, and
to
drink
or
coffee
your
or
bite
Your
to
hold
thing hot
cools.
Eggs
a
The
; but
should
little (ffthe
egg-cup
the
fork
is to be
A
spoon
is
employed
with
cup
the
you
be
fork.
a
Never
mouth.
your
it.
saucer
hold
the
your
drink
to
It is not
cup.
wait
eaten
both
use
made
was
can
Take
Break
well
till your
from
largerend),with
is to
noise
no
but
right hand.
thing to
any
(chippingoff
egg-cup.
any
;
eaten
in the
spoon
to make
food.
mouth.
be
not
can
careful
it in your
lay
holding a piece
spoon,
knife
your
it to your
convey
food
for
with
food
a
Be
swallowing your
or
your
to
left hand.
in your
and
napkin
your
with
delicately
soup
of bread
in
Unfold
action.
or
the
tea
shell
without
shell,and
not
an
its
contents.
Be
attentive
to
the
wants
of any
lady
who
rnay
be
HowtoBehave.
76
The
others
wit
of conversation
than
in showinor
from
consists
findingit
deal yourself.
^reat
a
in
more
He
in
who
pleased with himself and his
The
own
wit, is perfectlywell pleased with you.
most
delicate pleasure is to please another."^
of all sorts
Men
of occupationsmeet
in society. As
they go there to unbend their minds and escape from the
goes
conversation
your
fetters of
business,you
to
about
a
a
man
his
to
a
tired of
In
whom
your
mother
never,
profession. Do
of fevers
journalist,
Talk
should
to
about
a
her
evening,speak
talk of politics
to
an
not
physician,of
children.
of themselves
hearing
in
and
stocks
Women
It would
speak.
courtshipsor
and
women,
pleasuresto
gravity,to clergymen,
should
always
attention
; their
you
respect and
the duties
among
your
rude
be
respect is very
of
good
or
to
in
use
from
attention
these
the
so
story ;
often
to take
as
as, in
an
organ
nity
digTo
years.
yourselfwith
same
to
talk of
of certain
men
great
it,and
it is
time, that
degree of gayety, if you have it.
In relatingany thing,avoid
or
repetitions,
very
expressions,such as, says he, or says she.
people will
dress
ad-
your
agreeablymixed
very
never
persons
absurd
; at the
manners
properly and
and
the
is entitled to
sex
broker.
are
vary
men
address
a
children.!
their
promiscuous companies you should
agreeably to the different ages of
you
to
with
a
neyed
hackSome
off the hearer's
out
of tune,
one
pipe shall perhaps sound the whole time we are playing,
the piece so as not to be understood.
and confuse
other
or
Carefullyavoid talking either of your own
By doing the one, you will
people'sdomestic concerns.
be thought vain ; by entering into the other,you will be
officious.
considered
Talking of yourselfis an imperti"
La
Bruydre.
t
"
Etiquette
for Gentlemen."
Obsekvances
to the
nence
compan}/
besides, they
You
should
alone
You
poor.
were
take
may
out
or
rich
in
it for
Life,
77
them
nothing to
are
kept too
they to you
are
help
never
if you
as
be
not
can
affairs
your
;
others,what
affairs of
Every-day
of
As
secret.
;
the
to
?
forestall the
slow
expressions,and
granted that
he
were
is vain
one
every
er,
speak-
enough to think he can talk well, though he may modestly
deny it. [There is an exceptionto this rule. In speaking
with foreigners,
who
understand
our
language imperfectly,
and
be
may
sometimes
polite to
unable
to
assist
them
find the
right word,
it is
word
by suggesting the
they require.]
is another
Givmg advice, unasked,
is,in effect, declaring ourselves
It
whom
of rudeness.
piece
than
wiser
those
to
give it ; reproachingthem with ignorance and
inexperience. It is a freedom that ought not to be taken
with
we
who
Those
make
acquaintance.
common
any
assertion
every
behavior,
want
a
in
Vulgarism
characteristic
who
may
or
As
a
mixed
of
descend
be
never
speak
dispute,betray,by this
of acquaintance with good breeding.
language is the next and distinguishing
and
company
a
bad
education.
avoids
of the rhetoric
should
occasions, and
care
nothing with more
expressionsand trite sayings are
Proverbial
Never
all
upon
of
matter
a
of bad
fashion
of
man
others
contradict
be
to
a
the
that.
flowers
vulgar man/*^
a
to
withheld.
listen,as
to
the
Be
attentive
and
you,
case
general rule, do
nor
deserved
flattery
; but
speaking
company,
than
A
allow
may
not
Chesterfield.
to
any
person
equallyready
require.
ride your
yourselfto
for their amusement.
*
be
compliments
own
be
"
Never
hohhies
to
pute.
disin
trotted out"
H
78
W
O
IX."
When
music
It is very
rude
B
O
T
E
Y
.
MUSIC.
should
conversation
commences,
another
talk while
to
II A
E
is
person
cease.
singing or
playing.
A
should
lady
play ;
but if she
refuse
when
intends
to
should
she
so,
and
gravity,and put
singing
choose
do not
sing,or
not
to, say
to
twice,
or
once
end
an
complaint is
The
do
anxiety
any
accede
asked, but obligingly
can
After
exhibit
never
as
affect to
not
If you
once.
seriousness
with
so
or
expectationpromptly.
ers.
and give place to oth-
the
cease
old
at
sing
to
the
as
days
of
Horace,
be set agoing,
singercan with the greatest difficulty
and when
agoing,can not be stopped.
In playingan accompaniment for another, do not forget
and that
to
to aid, and
not
that it is intended
interrupt,
the instrument
to the singer.
is subordinate
that
a
When
lady is playing,it is
a
should
generallyat
hand
to
his services
music
for her.
the leaves
turn
do
may
X."
Some
this,but unless
as
LETTEES
well
that
desirable
gentleman
will be
he
to read
be
able
dispensed with.
be
AND
one
some
NOTES.
accomplishments are more
importantthan letterwriting in fact, it is absolutelyindispensableto every
who
desires to filla respectableposition
man
or
woman
Few
"
in
society.
attention
;
is
and
or
is often
of the
business
But
paid to
the
even
a
the
good
lack
note
cause
the
of
of
of
letter-writers
subjectin our
the ability
to
from
tion
systems of educawrite
decent
a
invitation,acceptance,
or
ter,
let-
regret,
great mortification,to say nothing
and
delays,misunderstandings,
affairs
little
Too
rare.
are
bungling
and
losses
resultingin
incorrectlywritten
letters.
The
of doing justiceto
impossibility
the
subjectin
the
Obsekvances
limited
very
and
which
that
space
to refer the
compels us
Eyeey-day
of
devote
could
we
reader
Life.
to
to it in this
Letter-
work,
position
of Com-
littlemanual
our
79
How
to Write,"
Writing,entitled
subjectis thoroughlyexplained and
the whole
in
"
il^
lustrated.
XI.-MISCELLANEOUS
Which
1.
In
ascending
wide
But
to
or
if it is not, which
disagree. Usage is not
etiquetteto give ladies
One
liable to tread
are
in
you
thick
a
the
of
should
settled.
first 1
It is
Authorities
rule of
general
a
the
going up,
ankle
which
her
on
she
dress, and
Lunettes,
better
were
very
this
on
positively
"
than
if she
concealed.
Another
a
oft-quotedfriend
our
that
cedes
pre-
might displaya large foot
gentleman should go first.
prudery and the legacy of
he
go
precedence everywhere. Is
sufficient reason
for making this an
a
exception1
follow a lady in going down
stairs,
says that if you
there
you
First?
goes
descending stairs with a lady, it is
ciently
arm, providedthe stair-case is suffiyour
permit two to go up or down abreast.
to offer
proper
HINTS.
point.
''
calls this
maiden
of the
He
thinks
maxim
a
Colonel
aunt.
old
Nothing
or
regime, speaks
is
more
absurd,"
the habit of
precedingladies in ascending
if by followingjust
men
stairs, adopted by some
as
behind
should
if the arm
be disengaged,
them, as one
there can
be any impropriety. Soiled frillsand unmended
hose must
have originated
this vulgarity,"Let the ladies
says,
"
decide.
2.
is
There
which
even
are
not
the
two
a
habit
some
peculiarto
"
legs of
that of
a
Habit.
the United
females, who
entirelyfree
hind
American
An
States, and from
class themselves
back,
lolling
chair.
Such
a
as
ladies,
balanced
breach
upon
of
good
How
80
Behave.
TO
breedingis rarelycommitted
even
in
that
far in America,
so
Europe.
it is not
attorneys lay their feet upon
see
the
and
the clerks
judges theirs
and
Lolling is
ried
car-
to
uncommon
the
council
table
their desks
also upon
;
in
court.
open
Gloved
3.
gloved
respectfulto offer an unhand ; but if two
gentlemen are both gloved,it is
off.
very foolish to keep each other waiting to take them
You
should not, however, offer a gloved hand to a lady or
a
superiorwho is ungloved. Foreigners are sometimes
the glove
very sensitive in this matter, and might deem
In
shaking hands
hand
glove in
to shake
ball
a
or
though
company,
All,therefore,whom
degrees of
to shun
any
none
attention.
of her
confession
dictate
I
I have
was
son,
:
in what
"
False
I have
I
quently offensively,for
considering,as
who
would
me
A
good
have
the
I
ought
joked
Chesterfield
often
wished
thought
difler-
the inviter
to have
of
a
us
all.
the following
makes
an
obscure
taking
notice
called
fine
shyly,awkwardly,
fear
upon
and
momentary
of
ac-
me
company
and
corise-
joke ;
not
done, that the very people
have
would
at first,
teemed
esme
for it afterward."
more
hint for
each
toward
equal
Shame,
Lord
his notice
returned
with
to
disrespectful
quanitance absent, for meeting and
when
equal.
are
.
be treated
should
It is
all
free,yet
guests.
letter to his
a
occasion
party the gloves should
are
meet
you
5.
In
have
likelyto
right-
-Equality,
respect, althoughinterest may
ent
a
is
his
carry
"
4.
In
he
to
off.
be taken
not
At
gentleman
a
where
his hand
hands.
more
for
It is well
insult.
an
it is
Ungloved?
or
Observances
home
or
appears
them
watch
your
abroad, is
as
if you
be
to
a
gone
if
;
of
abroad,
and
heavily,
you
to know
time, withdraw
the
wished
is called French
If
ill-breeding.
tired of your
were
home, it
at
and wished
company,
if the
as
at
hours
dragged
yourself. If you want
besides, as the takingwhat
to be gone
leave
;
introduced,that, on
was
son's
leavingthe company,
lookingat your watch does
was
designedto prevent.
one
per
might not be disturbed,
that piece of politeness
the rest
what
Husband
7.
81
unasked, either
in connpany,
mark
Life.
one's Watch.
Pullingout
6.
Pullingout
Eyery-day
of
and
Wife,
A
gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed
Mrs.
and
a
as
lady of her husband
So one
does not say in speaking to another,
company
as
Mr.
.
,
or
husband," but Mrs.
"your
however,
better, because
every
to
instead.
a
more
formal.
thing,whatever
Curtseying is
The
my
there
latter is
of
from
the
styleof
Ladies
made
be
workmanship,
than
from
or
of
should
from
the
thingsof
be derived
some
dental
acci-
inherent
and
of
offer to a lady a gift
Especiallynever
and looks
it is in the highestdegree indelicate,
solid richness.
;
violate.
may
Presents.
circumstance, rather
great cost
fitnessin
a
bow
universally
now
valuable,their worth
the
be
rules you
Among friends,presentsought to
value ; or, if
husband," is
my
a more
convenient, if not
certainly
the street.
on
salutation,
particularly
9.
small
timates,
in-
Curtseying,
vs.
obsolete.
gracefulform
Let
conventional
Bowing
Among
.
*'
wife,"
your
Mr.
wife," or
"
say
less
8.
or
"
4*
II
82
if you
as
to
and
The
refined
pencil
A
or
trifle from
should
offered
Emerson
but
*'
his
:
poem
the
the
miner,
his
picture ;
a
The
for
shepherd,
his
; the
sailor, coral
the
girl,a
handkerchief
and
fashion
;
with
steel
forks
have
for persons
be
that
sure
a
for
survive
who
but
Recollect,
every
eyes
in
the
hour, each
of
its papa
not
dine
and
at
three
is
a
the
;
her
corn
;
painter,
sewing."
own
what
of
points
people
charms
without
etiquette
can
eat
existence
soup
and
fish,
snob.
off,your
of
almost
mamma.
poet brings
Children.
show
matter
one
shells
of
gifts,
self.
portion of thy-
farmer, his
instance, how
it,or
that individual
do
a
not
are
the
the
and
mony
cere-
sort, it should
jewels
insisting upon
man
wondering,
and
;
and
Snobbery.
11.
Show,
lamb
their
gold pencil-
a
Therefore
me.
spring
off-
way.
only gift is
gem
hear
you
other
not
the
from
parade
matter,
most
articles
picture
indirect
an
and
10,
When
in
the
being
as
affair of that
an
but
of
little
little
as
small
a
or
Rings
bleed
must
;
with
gifts.
for
apologies
Thou
made
it is
tion
obliga-
an
are
be
little
a
needle.
lady,
a
should
skill ;
If
under
her
priceless value
a
formally,
says
E
gentlemen
their
be
to
Y
good-will.
they
;
gentle
thimble
be
not
to
possible.
as
a
ladies
by
their
present
case,
her
deriving
a
placing
buying
but
purchased,
of
of
possible
nature
II A
E
.
of
gifts made
B
O
T
desirous
were
you,
W
O
children
children, how
as
remarkable
to
many
as
strangers.
are
yours
bom
in the
HowtoBehave.
84
in this
tained
be worth
section
hundred
a
the
times
cost
of the book.
We
proceed to
now
dinner,
On
the
well
country, as
same
place.
For
this
upon
this
any
other
eyes
open
same
others
pointsusage
some
in different countries, and
varies
or
and
do, and
before
one,
the
are
at
answer
You
uniform, but
not
and
wait
you,
should
the
occasion.
On
either
2.
You
must
this
what
is, is
it
interpreted,
dress
black
to
go
accept
decline
or
cravat, white
a
question
allows
coat
gloves
party in
of time
gentlemen
and
trowsers,
and
to
and
black
a
and
pumps
allowed
now
Guide"
dress
"
A
of
in most
enumerates
for occasions
fashion, and
circles.
The
a
cloth
stylish,
well-fitting
in
white
silk
the
stockingswere
freedom4oving
little more
of
a
general,as
some
felt
latitude is
man's
Gentle-
American
coat, of
A
and
vest
its influence
the essentials
of ceremony
place. Strictly
or
"
Just
little choice.
but
'"
in the realms
expect,
full dress."
"
But
insisted upon.
formerlyrigorously
spiritof the age" has already made
even
ditionally,
uncon-
Dress,
dinner
a
receiving
addressing the lady of
once,
whom
they will wish to know
their preparations
accordingly.
make
what
see
usuallyissued several days
the length of time being proportioned
as
and
in the
circles
Invitations.
"
the house.
is not
mode.
prevailing
appointedtime
to the grandeur of
should
you
practicedin
must
you
about
dinner
a
ionable
fash-
in different cities in
even
manners
1.
Invitations to
a
relywholly
book, but, keeping your
reason
the
follow
of
and
in different
as
wits
your
routine
common
in books
laid down
as
politesociety.
the
note
gentleman's
follows
dark
:
color
The
and
of
Etiquette
nether
unexceptionablequality,
in
or
the
make,
weather,
white
pants of
suitable
material
dark
some
or
in
cumstanc
cirand
white,
neutral
tint,
of the wearer
physiognomicalpeculiarities
prevailingmode ; an entirelyfresh-looking,
black
modish
hat, and carefully-fitted
boots,
the
gloves,and
a
soft,thin,white
full dress"
lady's
"
allows
of
vest
spond,
corre-
the
fashionable
A
other
fashionable
a
to
garments
under
or
85
purest linen, embroidered
and
cravat
a
accordingto
and
warm
finest and
if at all ;
white
Occasions.
of
is not
handkerchief."
easilydefined, and
fashion
of her taste in
greater scope for the exercise
of materials, the choice
selection
of colors,and the
the
her
she
Still,
styleof making.
3.
allow
Never
The
dinner
not
If it is
for
dinner
a
4.
having given
his
are
not
to offer your
minute
behind
tillall the
the
time.
guests have
rived.
ar-
his
the
the
railway
to
the Table.
announced, the host rises and requests
is
arm
entitled
to
a
precedence.
to
lady,and
principal
guest, you
to the
arm
or
!
Going
consideration,
gentleman offers
If you
served
a
to which
he leads the
diningrroom,
to the lady who, from
arm
age or
to the
all to walk
other
is
dinner
When
be
be too late for the steamer
Better
train than
be in the fashion."
spoiledthrough your tardiness, you are
only to your inviter,but to his outraged
responsiblenot
guests.
be
"
Punctuality.
yourselfto
can
must
handsomest
or
way,
any
Each
all follow in order.
must
most
be careful
not
distinguished
lady.
5.
Where
are
they
rank
not
to
or
some
Arrangement of Guests.
social
positionare regarded (and where
extent ?),the two
most
distinguished
How
86
placed next the mistress of the house, and
of the
ladies next the master
distinguished
the place of honor.
righthand is especially
gentlemen are
the two
most
house.
The
If it is offered
It is
first and
conversation
the
of the
that
equal to
not
to
converse
it.
thingsproperly
in such
generalduring the
gentlemen is nearly
should
take
from
far from
as
to
care
separate husbands
relations
manner
a
be
of
number
near
mingle
inter4;heir
another
one
being always together they ought
in a generalparty.
themselves
possible,because
as
always
should
remove
difficult
place them
ladies,we
We
them.
wives, and
the
refuse
not
most
to
may
If
entertainment.
should
you
guests, and
the
to arrange
that
to you,
of the
one
Behave.
TO
among
Duties
6.
of the
Host.
of the table is
the honors
perform faultlessly
difficult thingsin society; it might indeed
most
To
of the
asserted, without
much
has
reached
yet
as
ever
he
When
host.
even
all
and
rather
do
others, he
his
be
must
relinquishall desire
must
to
be
man
no
office
content
as
to
shine, and
please his guests by conversation,
his power
to let them
please one
to
attempts
proprietyin
exact
receives
he
forgethimself;
contradiction,that
fear of
one
all in
another.
Help
and
moderation,
the
overload
not
pour
gravy
meat
for
Do
dishes
any
;
on
some
not
appreciationof their delicacy,
of their appetites
fastidiousness
; and do
with
ladies
a
plate of any
platewithout
thing by
person
permission.
ask
your
thing.
It
spoilsthe
persons
force
upon
guests partakingof particulai
more
their
ill-bred,though extremely common,
any
Never
serve.
you
persons.
insist upon
never
due
a
than
and
once,
plates.
It is
to press
one
never
put
extremely
to eat of
Etiquette
The
The
should
host
particulardish
recommend
never
; his
thingfound at his table is
The
most
importantmaxim
him
to his
one
from
should
choice
own
ever-present
an
send
never
guests have
Gentlemen
do not
If
to
But
you
so
is
eat.
fish,which
The
You
first.
can
be served
they lack nothing,but
the
treat
must
if veneration
littleof it
as
served.
are
You
must
for
second
a
is to be
eaten
suck
plate.
with
whatever
have
informal
The
dinners
where
are
of various
followed
kinds.
removes
"
bv
At
roast
orame.
it.
and
course
without
third
boiled
cipal
prinWhen
on
your
brings
meats, fowl, etc.,
are
dessert,help the
course
etables.
veg-
not, of
once.
fork
at
mouth,
fish is the
The
There
given
begin
second
Fish, like soup, is served but
what you wish, you lay your
eaten
plate,and the waiter
the principaldishes
which
and
fork, and
a
is
into your
soup
host
right hand,
his
neighbor;
your
The
part of this injunctiondoes
last
apply to
not
Take
finished,
awkward.
be
choose.
you
neighbor first,then
offer it to
not
would
you
as
is
course
dish.
you
with
observance
decline it ; because
not
tillthe first
nothing before
send
it,or
course,
officious in their
but not
require this,even
left-hand
do
to
blow
asked,
come
till all
on
and
once
your
them.
to be
eat*
may
his
you,
You
Guests.
that
See
manners
sit with
serves
and
watch
Good
Soup will
nothing else
to
free
suggest it.
fails to
and
leave
to
enjoyment,and to
of being entertained^
own
plate until all
of the
the ladies.
to
respect.
is
hospitality
and
assiduous
be
grace" is
"
in
your
Duties
must
seem
a
granted that
finished.
7.
attentions
it for
excellent.
sense
away
87
eulogize any-
or
guests will take
any
every
Occasions.
of
also side dishes
ladies
near
you
to
HowtoBehave.
88
whatever
they may
but
spoon,
apple
an
pare
have
in
his
for
need
not
request, using her fork
or
a
to
volunteer
to
should
lady, but
a
with
for each
peaches
or
You
fingers.
peach
a
to hold
own
We
or
her
at
course,
your
with
strawberries
Serve
cherries, grapes,
pass
help himself
require.
do
so,
than
other
some
of
it.
said in
our
remarks
table
on
in general,
manners
previouschapter,that in sending your plate fgx
knife and Fork upon it.
should leave
any thing you
your
For this injunction
of most
of the
the authority
have
we
There
books
of generalusage.
well as
on
as
etiquette,
also to be
seems
to
a
hold
them
the
them
American
with
hand
might
rested
upon
your
in the
the
soil it ; but
either
lay
of
acquaintance
kept togetherin
to avoid
bread,
to
author
questioned,says
to be
fact,that
and
awkward,
be
Guide," whose
is not
retained, and
be
would
Gentleman's
the best usage
should
or
in your
the table-cloth
on
"
for the custom
reason
a
soilingthe
that
they
hand
the
cloth.
be no
harm
and decorously(there can
deliberately
in repeatingthis precept),
masticate
your food thoroughly,
ice-water.
and heware of drinkingtoo much
Eat
If your
'pledgedto
You
of
can
any
reflections
to deliver
upon
is,one
probablybe drunk.
do so courteously,
must
will
those
temperance
a
that
man,"
"temperance
decline, but you
course
invited
not
are
a
total abstinence, wine
without
and
is not
host
who
drink.
You
lecture.
used, dip the tips of your
are
finger-glasses
fingersin the water and wipe them on your napkin ; and
Snobs
of the napkin and wipe your mouth.
wet
a
corner
Where
sometimes
wear
should
you
The
carved
very
imitate
French
on
glovesat
a
table.
It is not
necessary
them.
fashion
"
of
side-table,and
generallyadopted
that
at
having
served
the
principaldishes
by attendants, is
ceremonious
dinners
in
now
this
The
Etiquette
country,but
few
and
the
who
gentlemen
safelycount
can
is well
into
go
hJ
at
company
called
being
never
upon
Occasions.
of
to
upon
all
carve,
worth
acquiring. Ignorance of it
sometimes
placesone in an awkward
position. You will
find directions
this subjectin almost any cook-book
on
;
however, by watching an accomplished
you will learn more,
art
than
carver
Do
not
allow
in any
We
a
must
dinner
be
yourselfto
to the wants
interchangeof
other
of the
a
Chapter
VI.
the
hundred
of these
little
general
Table
make
soon
occasions,
you
in
find
cheer
more
and
have
we
which, if you
less
you.
with
said
eatinglaid
Manners"), and
in
a
proficient
advice, you will not participatevery
informaldinner, at wiiich you meet two
and
near
of
canons
"
those
thingsconnected
; but what
(Section 7,
observation, will
to
tending
engrossed in atjoin in the cheerful
thoughtswith
party unmentioned
together with
much
too
stomach,
civilities and
leave
way.
ceremony,
will
here,
down
in
little
a
the
quette
eti-
take
our
frequently.
or
three
An
friends,
is much
to
be
preferred.
II." EVENING
PAETIES.
less
or
Evenirrgpartiesare of various kinds, and more
less fashionable.
Their
or
ceremonious, as they are more
objectis or should be social enjoyment,and the manners
of the company
ought to be such as will best promote it.
A
of
few
hints,therefore,in addition
good
behavior
to
alreadylaid down,
the
general
maxims
will suffice.
Invitations,
1
.
fail to
Having accepted an invitation to a party, never
do not allow bad weather,
keep your promise,and especially
of any
ordinarycharacter, to prevent
married
in which
man
should
his wife
never
is not
accept
included.
an
your
attendance.
invitation from
a
A
lady
90
HowtoBehave.
Salutations.
2.
When
you
one
in
enter
you
sahite
the
else.
Even
drawing-room where
a
the
lady of
entertainer.*
your
You
then
occasion, without
the
conversation
is
one
or
should, if
the
of his
more
who
person
ought not
happens
to lean
if
standing,support
order
to
converse
with
of
members
take
"
desire
French
any
of the
to
one,
house, unless
The
the company,
and
*
'*
such
on
an
of
at
that
"
without
you
can
course
a
with
converses
right and
avoid
left.
A
gentleman
lady'schair, but
a
by
the
back
of
toward
never
he
it, in
him.f
be
seen
party.
Leave,
before
is,go
the
party breaks
quietlyout
saluting even
do
so
would
call for otherwise
without
the
up,
turbing
dis-
mistress
without
tention.
atattracting
the rest of
interrupt
tions
explanaunnecessary
ceremony.
for Gentlemen."
"Stiquette
We
leaningupon
between.
himself
French
contrary
and
one
one,
any
arm
withdraw
and
whole
his
be
to
another
leave"
You
ciently
subjectsuffithey
company,
ladypartlyturned
invited familyshould
4.
If you
salute
the
the
an
with
conversingone
to
the
upon
may,
The
to
introduction.
Each
groups.
speak
to
meet
you
an
the
neighborson
wish
we
bow
your
conversation.
general,nor
not
occupy
into different
up
person
any
Conversation.
to
interesting
break
to
enveloped
are
made
the
formalityof
3.
When
any
party,
a
w^ith the company,
mix
join in
freelywith
converse
may
is
speaking
friends
have
until you
acquaintances, and
your
before
intimate
most
your
opake atmosphere
an
house
there
+ Madame
Celnart.
How
02
Dancing.
6.
An
have
may
as
formal
dinners
in the
vogue
the
down
of the
We
the
cities,ten
at
When
to
up
dance
with
she
is
dancing
4.
not
At
supper
If
a
eat
of
a
in
she
answers
her
to
the
name
when
and
for
can
coming
many
earlier.
go
with
the dressing-room,
them
off in
off; nothing is
the
in
dance,
you
go
honor
to
will do
you
the
that
she
is
earliest
she
to dance
accept the
direct
offer ;
the next
large
our
present yourself
find
will
dance
do
v^ith
engaged,
for which
the honor
you
lady, she
a
particularand
some
than
objection
a
are
you.
gentleman offers
coquetry, it is
lay
gloves.
place
If
she
they
in
to
them
take
you.
with
case
further
to
to
authorities
fashion
moment
one
if she
refuse, unless
which
no
for
her
engaged,
not
which
various
should
ask
merely request
waltz, but
then
even
and
lady
a
cuss
dis-
the
in
now^
be
sure
are
you
place to
:
will
preposterous than
3.
in
gloves (white or yellow) in
dancing-rooms.
more
are
the
quite early enough
not
ing,
dancthe
not
on
ball.
a
to
which
suppers
the
from
country, you
your
do
parties,as
occasions
hours
You
on
and
of
is
In the
Draw
2.
the
the
to
o'clock
after you.
late
quadrille or
followingcode
dance.
a
and
condense
According
1.
fashionable
circles,but this is
etiquette of
practiced.
us
rich
same
merits
the
before
and
for
name
weighty objectionsto
as
these
at
another
only
and
many
conducted
as
the
is often
evening party
We
Behave.
TO
a
valid
ofler.
next
insult to him
to
besides, it shows
refuse
too
reason,
if she
But
temporary dislike
or
a
in
has
piece of
him
marked
should
and
a
cept
ac-
ence
prefer-
for the latter.
5.
When
a
woman
is
standing in
a
quadrille,
though
not
Etiquette
The
in
engaged
should
not
dancing,a
converse
6. When
with
the
At
8.
her.
of his
makes
partner
mistake,
a
it would
; but
error
which
9.
she
The
ladies
who
invent
be
very
we
polite
im-
of the
end
place,bows
has
conferred.
of
master
should
to
seem
serve
as
Ladies
who
They
expressionis),and
ladies
careful
be very
but little or
for which
less fortunate
these
should
also,without
should
room
ball-
dance.
to
dance
of dances
great number
advance.
much
those
of the
the walls
familiar
invited
who
those
before
to boast
dance
the
all the
that
see
of
particularly
notice
take
drapery to
as
(or wall Jlowers,
that they are
see
10.
should
honor
for the
in silence.
also bows
house
the
her
thanks
and
She
He
dance.
should
for the occasion
glidingmovement
dance, the gentleman re-conducts
some
her
lady to
the
with
her
acquaintedwith
givinghim a lesson.
and can
it
has a very graceful
Unless
use
a man
figure,
great elegance,it is better for him to walk throughthe
or
quadrilles,
the
not
93
the air of
have
to
7.
man
unpracticeddancer
an
apprize him
may
Occasions
of
not
at
not
all,of
they are engaged in
ommend
beingperceived,recto gentlemen of their
acquaintance.
11.
For
any
of the
either
members,
daughters,
or
sons
the ball is given,to dance
house
familyat whose
decided
denotes
ill-breeding
; the
frequentlyor constantly,
those places in a quadrillewhich
ladies should not occupy
be at
and they should, moreover,
others may
wish to fill,
of the
of
the
attend
to
the
gentlemen
should
be
the
entertaining
those
do not
dance.
leisure
12.
know
to
w^ho
Never
how
hazard
to dance
but little skilled,you
of
pleasure.
rest
takingpart in
tolerably;
would
a
;
company
married
and
women
unless
quadrille,
for if you
bring disorder
are
a
the
and
yon
novice,
into the
or
midst
94
How
If you
13.
not
dance
to
When
14.
accompany
with
Behave.
TO
wife
your
to
dance, be careful
a
her, except perhaps the first set.
that
long and anxiouslydesiderated hour, the
hour of supper, has arrived,
the lady you
attend
you hand
to the supper-table. You
with her
remain
up or down
while she is at the table, seeing that she has all that she
desires,and then conduct her back to the dancing-rooms.
15.
A
gentleman attending a lady should invariably
dance
the first set
her
a
to
her, and may
friend for the purpose
Ball-room
16.
with
of
introductions
afterward
introduce
dancing.
with
the
viz.,
object,
a
dancing ; nor subsequentlyanywhere else can
man
gentleapproach the lady by salutation or in any other mode^
without
This
a
re-introduction
code
fashionable
rules
of the
of
cease
formal
a
be understood
must
as
the
dancing partiesin
should
be
reader
adhered
to in any
will enable
him
to
character.
applying in
full
only to
city,though most of the
place. The good sense
modify them to suit any
occasion.
particular
III."
FESTIYALS.
ANNUAL
Christmas.
1
.
At
In
the
the
and
Christmas,"people give partiesand
make
presents.
portionsof our own
Europe, and in some
country, it is
most
Beyond
importantfestive occasion in the year.
of the Catholics, Episcopalians,
religiousobservances
of making
other sects, and the universal
custom
some
presents
to
especiallyto
peculiar to
note.
We
ceremonies
all
our
relatives
the
children, there
Christmas
have
no
a
and
place
The
some
of
matter
alreadyspoken of presents ;
will find
York,
is
friends, and
intimate
it is necessary
which
2.
In New
and
in another
New
etiquette
for
and
us
religious
chapter.
Year.
other
cities and
towns
to
which
I
The
Etiquette
Occasions.
of
95
is
expected to
New
Year's day ;
call on
all his lady acquaintances on
her part must
be prepared properlyto
and each lady on
Refreshments
do the honors
of her house.
are
usually
have
adopted
its customs,
gentleman
every
sions
provided in great profusion. The etiquetteof these occathat of ceremonious
from
does not differ materially
morning calls, except that the entire day is devoted to
them, and they may be extended
beyond the limits of one's
niake
their calls
ladies may
list. The
ordinaryvisiting
the next
on
day, or
3.
is the
This
M^ithin the
week.
Thanksgiving,
great family festival of New
England
the
"
home
of
season
time
any
tered
gatherings. Sons and daughters,scattoward
the old
wide, then turn instinctively
far and
and
homestead,
the
fireside
their
of
childhood
is
again
and that of their little ones.
glad by their presence
Etiquetterequires fat turkeys,well roasted, a plentyof
hospitality,
genuine friendlmess,
pumpkin pies,unbounded
made
and
cheerful
thankful
and
Birthdays.
4.
Birthdays are
anniversary is
are
and
In
ceremony,
nature
or
making
the
and
at which
one
whose
occasions
many
tations
felici-
gifts.
excursions
but
and
AND
into the
call for the
good breeding.
they
PICNICS.
country
exercise
On
steamboat, gentlemen should
ladies
to
France, these
great merry
IV.-EXCUESIONS
Picnic
familyfestivals
presents made
celebrated.
with
observed
made
sometimes
given,and
partiesare
hearts.
are
not
occasions
of all one's
real
of
good
leavingthe carriage,cars,
of
course
relieve
the
attend of the shawls, baskets, etc.,with which
How
96
they
have
may
festivities.
them
of the fair
of the
follow
She
of
possibility
are
her
of
course
ladies
whose
The
ladies, social
forgetthat
deference, by whoever
their
a
from
copy
before
the
us
and
our
son
the
of
one
a
taste ;
they
be
to
lack
courtesy and
edgment
acknowl-
some
bow,
a
smile,
or
at
numerous
more
but,
as
bridesmaids,
books
manners
of
account
the
usual
monious,
wedding. A simpler,less cereof giving legal sanction
privatemode
two
of hearts
French
the
gout.^
For a stylish
wedding,
two
that the
formal
alreadyexisting union
an
rising.
WEDDINGS.
followingcondensed
of
ceremonies
to
a
will
look.
kind
v."
We
of
demands
word,
a
"
You
though they be,
act
or
in
see
honor
queens
shown,
part
the
favor
every
to think
You
her
will
be
invites
your- part.
served, you
have
you
not
on
is
she
occasion
assist
to
to
not
of honor.
guard
hand
sylvan repast
nothing.
have
not
pleasure
ground, you
unless
improprietyon
your
cavalier
all
alone.
the
upon
example
must
any
her
give
the
least
her
servant, protector, and
When
should
herself
to seat
seated.
to be
you
it is the
w^ish to be
sometimes
may
lady chooses
at liberty
to
a
not
are
They
rambles, when
require their attendance, but
to
them
give
reachingthe spot selected for the
their duty and their happiness to
in their
ones
obtrusive.
If
in
It is also
accompany
and
provided themselves,
assistance
necessary
Behave*
TO
the
proverb
relatives,and
may
choose
and
*
Each
one
For
a
friends
whatever
to invite.
has
be
more
it,Chacun
to
a
lady requiresa bridegroom,
groomsmen,
her
would
a
formal
to his taste.
parson
of
or
both
wedding
trate,
magisparties
in the
Etiquette
The
week's
evening,a
day. Her
notice
mother
is
requisite.The
female
nearest
or
Occasions.
of
97
lady fixes
relation
the
invites the
The
evening hour is eight o'clock ; but if the
and the happy couple to start immeis private,
diately
ceremony
and alone, the ceremony
usuallytakes place in
the morning at eleven or twelve o'clock.
If there is an evening party, the refreshments
be
must
guests.
usual
as
such
on
occasions, with
cake, commonly
cake
pound
a
the
with
addition
of
wedding
and a
frosting,
rich
fruit cake.
is
of the bride
dress
The
dressed
commonly
white
and
but
none
such
with
are
lace vail is often
few
her head
head.
ficial,
arti-
or
and
ornaments,
for the occasion.
the
on
;
flowers, natural
wears
given her
worn
purestwhite
orange
She
roses.
as
of the
is
White
white
A
long gloves
slipperscomplete the costume.
The
dress of the bridegroom is simply the full
richness
and elegance.
a gentleman,of unusual
and
of
white
satin
bridesmaids
The
simply than
At the
bridesmaid
room
;
are
dressed
in
white, but
more
the bride.
hour
and
appointed for
the
when
groomsman,
then, first bridesmaid
the bride
also
dress
and
the
ceremony,
there
are
groomsman
second
two, enter the
and, lastly
;
and
bridegroom. They enter, the ladies taking
the arms
of the gentlemen and take seats
appointed, so
that the bride is at the rightof the bridegroom,and each
supportedby their respectiveattendants.
A chair is then placed for the clergyman or magistrate
in front of the happy pair. When
he comes
forward
to
the bridal party rises.
The
first
perform the ceremony,
bridesmaid,
left hand
both
the
bride
at the
proper
time, removes
of the bride ; or, what
and
bridegroom
beginningof
have
the ceremony.
5
seems
their
In
the
to
us
glove from
more
gloves
proper,
removed
joininghands
the
at
they
HowtoBehaye.
98
each
take
turning toward
fine
plain
given
bride, and
relations
the
acting
groomsmen
forward
the
twain
are
nounced
pro-
mother, the father of
then
;
of
the
the
company,
ceremonies,
wish
but not
couple joy, happiness,prosperity;
happy
the
introducing the ladies,who
and
It is
tions
present their congratula-
masters
as
tially
par-
presents it.
ended, and
clergyman first,then
the
groom
the left hand.
flesh,the company
one
the
is
and
wedding ring, of
is
by the groom,
who
clergyman,
the ceremony
When
The
beforehand
fingerof
the third
placed upon
"
the
to
bride
other.
each
gold, provided
sometimes
the
nght hand,
other's
bringing
the
happy
exactly
"
many
returns."
bridegroom takes an earlyoccasion
clergyman, and to put in his hand, at the
The
thank
to
the
time,
same
nicelyenveloped,a piece of gold,accordingto his ability
and generosity. The
gentleman who dropped two half
dollars
in the
minister's
into the
was
prayer,
When
the
the
the
and
room
party breaks
and
ceremony
the first bridesmaid
with
The
please.
of the
head
bridegroom
the
"
out,
tions,
congratula-
first groomsman,
quadrille,and
afterwards
;
early
up
held
were
the occasion.
by
with
dances, first,
bride
taking the
follows
they
as
little confused
a
dance
a
hands,
they
as
certainlyby
the
twelve
o'clock."^
The
those
No
only
offense
choose
should
all whom
future
engraved
whose
exclude.
to
lady's to
your
of
cards
the
newly
couple
wish
acquaintance they
taken
be
Send
desire
you
it, below
"
"
by
her
Manners
to
name,
Book."
to
to
continue.
therefore
with
may
the
in the circle of
lady's card
"
sent
they
include
The
are
whom
those
card
your
acquaintances.
upon
married
At
home
will
have
"
100
How
Behave.
TO
VIII.
THE
ETIQUETTE
To
ladies
And
lift
always
yield
hat
your
a
frequentlyto
than
the
on
the
THE
has
marked.
street
He
hours.
event, his time
walk
on
in
pressure
"
on.
on
of your
intend
of
case
man
to
If you
awkward.
place is
no
If
the
of the rules
affairs
be
detain
him,
stop, on
"
or
may
I
a
hope
Waiting
stopping to
talk
he
is
off
your
if
If you
your
pass
sary,
neces-
should
compelled
are
with
hat,
tightglove
the street, you
walking
stranger and release
a
the
If you
well," and
are
sorbed
ab-
make
rudeness.
to draw
current.
your
salute your
gloved hand,
on
him,
or
friend,touch
you
oflfer a
state
not
must
for
any
with
absent-minded
You
meeting
in
the detention.
recognizeand
to
not
ness
during busi-
street
speak
so
excuse
an
should
must
you
street.
apology.
the
the distinction
vulgar more
some
the
if you
not
as
step aside from the human
to detain a friend,when
apologizeto
the
more
courtesy
appointments, and,
yourselfto
stop, you
In
of
necessity,you
on
precious.
Good-morning,"
without
is
in
politeand
have
business
acquaintances
say
a
direction, or
allow
not
in your
do not
virtue
and politely
apologize for
briefly,
errand
Do
in his
the
and
;
occasion
woman
a
followingare
may
is
or
the
business
a
Dan,
etiquette:
Except
stop
Uncle
"
STKEET.
exercise
The
of street
street.
man
between
PLACES.
seat,
your
upon
I." ON
OWHERE
OF
a
friend
stranger,
as
soon
The
Etiquette
The
possible.
as
hear
the
on
street, either
without
Never
leave
join another
to
brief
a
101
stranger will withdraw, in order
conversation.
your
Places.
of
friend
a
for any
or
not
to
suddenly
other
son,
rea-
apology.
In
walking with gentlemen who are your superiors in
the place of honor, by taking
station,give them
or
age
yourselfthe outer sif^.eof the pavement.
When
whom
a lady with
acquainted,
you meet
you are
should
you
lift your
of
and
thus
unless
but
place
have
you
certainlyshould
In
a
she
recognitionfirst,as
you,
meeting
grave
with
both,you
you
wish
reason
would
be
gentleman
very
whom
respect, she
to
know, walking with
her
also."^ If you
the
bow
then, less profoundly,
colored, or your
hands
with
walk
a
with
bow
her
but
full dress.
meet
you
should
you
request, and
intrusion
be
may
;
ungloved,
should
them
with
*
"
If
the
on
not
company
ac-
always
withdrawing.
that
sure
lady in
a
lady whom
at her
on
avoid
with
hand
such
everywhere
an
addition
before
you
; and
Colonel
most
party
join a lady and
walking together;
the
for this
to their
otherwise
awkward
might find yourselfin the positionof an
In walking with ladies on the street, gentlemen
treat
to
are
acquainted
are
lady,and
"
course
cut"
position;
acquainted,you
perfectlyagreeable
who
you
not
dark
shake
hat and
be
"
thing.
are
far,except
to
all claims
sign
to
awkward
very
you
gentleman.
and
careful
a
a
first to
speak
to
her
lift your
to
glove be
street, turn
Be
you
bow
offer to
not
do such
respect
to the
in
you
gentleman
a
with
do
; but unless
might possiblychoose
forfeited
not
whom
lady with
If your
to her
bow
you
friends,it is the lady'sduty to give some
intimate
are
hat, as
you
third."
will of
scrupulous politeness.
Lunettes.'*
How
102
This
requiresthat
in which
but
circumstances
You
them
the wall
to
you
such
whom
a
attention
on
side,
this
reverse
lady with
safety,comfort,
to
arm
her
require
to
seem
may
require
may
whenever
walking
them
generallygive
offer your
must
shield
best
can
You
that relative
position
from
danger or
place yourselfin
you
you
inconvenience.
Behave.
TO
sition.
po-
are
you
convenience
or
At
part.
your
ing
night,in taking a long walk in the country, or in ascendthe steps of a publicbuilding,
should always
your arm
be
tendered.
In
walking with ladies or elderlypeople,a gentleman
must
his speed to theirs.
not forgetto accommodate
In
walking with any person you should keepstep with military
precision.
whom
If a lady with
are
walking receives the
you
salute
of
return
but for her.
it,not for yourself,
When
a
who
person
is
lady whom
you
shop, or store (ifwe must
a
good English word), you
a
her
allow
to
before
pass
should
lady anywhere,
lady addresses
a
he
he
replies. If
will express
"
When
says,
above
hold
if you
to
the door
enter
a
explain
open
must
avoid
can
inquiryto
an
street, he will lifthis hat, or
as
to
Americanism
an
should
you
wishes
accompany
use
you,
first,if practicable; for you
enter
a
to
and
never
out
it,or with-
apology.
an
If
stranger
a
"
he
his
her
lady
the
pavement,"
raise
gracefully
With
her righthand
togetherthe
light side.
folds of her
both
is
hands,
the
respectfully,
information
should
ankle.
To
give the
on
required/
regrets.
tripping over
a
it
at least touch
not
can
gentleman
a
raise
gown
the
vulgar.
and
dress
This
on
her
draw
both
Celnart
Madame
dress
she
them
a
should
toward
sides, and
ungracefulpracticecan
little
hold
the
with
be
Etiquette
The
only for
tolerated
This
should
You
street.
in material
suitable
of
entirelyout
indicate
not
Paris, and
ladies dress
American
and
in
written
was
not
is very
deep."
York.
in New
for
richlyand elaborately
well
neatly and
"
Q
in
the
good taste,
tume,
; but the full cosadapted to the season
to the
carriage or the drawing-room, is
place in a shopping excursion, and does
refined
a
too
dress
the mud
when
moment,
a
10
Places.
of
taste
; in other
words, it looks
snoh-
hish.
out-door
The
shawl
a
or
few
and
Shawls
mantle.
a
complete without
of ladies is not
costume
American
difficult to
are
ladies
wear
well.
them
wear
fully,
graceYou
tightto your shoulders and stick
that
out your
so
elbows, but fold it looselyand gracefully,
it may
fullyenvelop the figure.
should
drag a
not
shawl
SHOPPING.
IL"
followinghints to the
important subject. Having enjoined the
Madame
Celnart
this
on
has
the
ladies
most
keeper,^
forbearingcourtesy on the part of the shopshe proceeds :
or
nearly so.
ought to be reciprocal,
Every civility
the officious politenessof the shopkeeper does not require
patient and
"
If
equal return,
an
he has
at least
claim
a
to
civil treatment
if this politeness
and, finally,
proceed from
;
is this
interest,
pleasantness
why purchasers should add to the unthe
and disregardviolating
of his profession,
1
laws of politeness
Many very respectablepeople allow
that I
infractions in this particular,
themselves
so
many
think
"
me,
*
a
reason
it my
duty to
should
You
dwell
never
upon
say, /
it.
want
if you please,that article,or
For
see
hints
"
How
on
the importance
to Do
Business."
of
politenessas
such
use
an
a
thing,but
some
element
other
of success
Show
polite
ness,
in busi-
104
How
form
address.
of
articles you
If
desire,and you
give
him.
your
apologieswhen
make
troubled
considerable
you
in the
time
fixed
not
and
without
of
for you
to
prices,ask
away.
selection
waits
to
/
am
ing
for hav-
sorry
If you
spend a
articles,apologizeto
decide.
the
high,and
too
you
in brief and
abatement
an
you
renew
yourself,
a
trifling
thing.
so
great
a
for the trouble
purchases,say,
for
shopkeeper who
If the price seems
"
go
examine
suit
not
can
first the
at
you
obligedto
shopkeeper
you
small
show
not
are
If after all you
If you
the
do
they
number, apologize to the
"
Behave.
TO-
shop
has
civil terms,
appearing to suspect the good faith of
the shopkeeper. If he does not yield,do not enter into a
contest
with him, but go away,
after tellinghim
politely
that you
think you
obtain the article cheaper elsewhere,
can
but if not, that you will give him the preference."
ever
III."
If you
go to
the
was
others.
We
creed.
attend
If you
are
so
yourself,
you
It is the
may
on
her
be
to
awkward
to
not
may
to
respect those
in
custom
already in
and
as
a
a
some
slip or
lady who
then
have
terrupt
in-
have
that
religionof
article of
her
church.
of the
slipfor
demeanor
should
place and occasion.
no
religious
feelings
of others.
places for gentlemen who
to deploy into the aisle,
pew
may
resume
annoying
door
Your
the
becomes
as
must
enter, and
first.
the
enteringa
on
the
open
enter
unfortunate
the arrival of
hat
your
ladies,you
such
to disturb
adopt with profitthat
remove
them
be
course
all
may
Always
them, allow
of
that you
in season,
part of her religionnot
a
If you
church, be
CHUECH.
congregationby enteringafter the services
The
celebrated
Mrs.
Chapone said
commenced.
it
AT
maneuver.
desire
their seats.
admittance,
This
is
a
allow
very
Etiquette
The
should
You
the church
due
pay
should
you
Good
about
and
be
the
door
of
the ladies will
requireyoung
church
a
to
Catholic
and
the
excuse
ples
scru-
church,
stay away.
gentlemen to
the
see
of
conscientious
conscientious
do not
manners
105
observances
Epibcopalor
an
little more
a
have
If you
againstkneeling in
the
to
respect
attend.
you
Places.
of
ladies
stand
out
come
of this mark
omission
;
of
admiration.
IV."
Gentlemen
to
who
AT
PLACES
attend
lectures, etc., should
good
secure
OF
AMUSEMENT.
ladies to
endeavor
the
to
opera,
go
secured, and
order
been
to
viously
pre-
the
disagreeablecrowd
which
if they go a littlelater.
they are liable to encounter
Gentlemen
should
take off their hats on enteringany
(or dwelling either). They will,of course,
public room
if attendingladies, on
do so
showing them their seats.
quietlyin them, and
Having taken your seats remain
avoid, unless absolute necessityrequire it,incommoding
If obligedto
others by crowding out and in before them.
do
avoid
concerts,
early in
unless, indeed, they have
seats,
to
to
this,politely
apologizefor the trouble you
them.
cause
during the performance is an act of rudeness
thus proclaimyour own
and injustice.You
ill-breeding
have
and invade
the rightsof others, who
paid for the
and not for listening
of hearing the performers,
privilege
talk
To
to you.
If you
or
are
in attendance
lecture, you
but if you
have
seat, you
in favor of
Be
bill or
a
no
retain
should
lady with
you,
should, if need
lady,for
careful to
programme,
secure
one
less
your
before
a
upon
lady at
your
and
seat
have
opera,
at her
taken
a
cert,
con-
side
;
able
desir-
it
be, cheerfully
relinquish
eligible.
libretto ox
takingyour
5*
any
opera
seat.
book,
concert
How
106
To
the
be
to
are
opera,
taken
ladies
off
ladies to
public
hands.
be
and
and
A
feelingof
a
the
who
entreat
being
East,
rude
; and
We
for
an
a
no
they
shake
well
are
pictureor
a
one
who
essential
and
Avoid
you
it
enter
can
before
hat, and
add
it may
vary
give
between
with
them
all means,
by
your
hat
the
a
horse
James
Parton.
of
where
every-
a
entering an
a
the humor
changing
has
a
and
a
ment.
apart-
salutation.
verbal
with
human
In the
custom.
sign that
some
house."*
*
like
seems
wear
respects himself, and
to
seats
condudt,
be left to
shoes
change
it may
moving
statue,
it here.
may
off the
difference
a
who
of Art,
PEESENCE.
unimportant ;
;
temple
a
respect to the presence
shown
others, will omit
stable
off to
for the
THE
off their
take
is
moment
but
be
take
men
the
that
barbarian
a
place.
though
a
in which
should
mode
taken
discourteous
or
such
you
mode
The
can.
presidingdivinity
talking,laughing, pushing before
VI."
The
the
church, and in places
sculptureis
else, reverentlyremove
"
advise
GALLEEY.
reverence
examining
are
or
noisily,
any
profanationin
we
(in our
are
they
them
PICTUEE
than
Loud
place.
others
custom
fit neatly.
is little better
without
of
be
galleryof paintingsor
he
they
as
take
not
should
country,
whenever
ladies in
Do
care
In this
beautiful,we
use
by
hoods, which
opera
but
;
nor
their
worn
V.-IN
A
bonnets
amusement.
Great
made
of
comfortable
should
wear
entering.
dispense with
Gloves
of
should
on
permitsthe wearing
opinion) neither
Behave.
TO
proper
he
of
fashion
;
regard
recognizes
man,
between
How
108
We
Behave.
TO
as
a nation, and
pointout
politeness
cans
Amerito foreigners,
with pride,the alacrity
with which
make
for women
in all public placed. Som^
way
love to call this chivalry. It is certainly
trait
amiable
an
of character, though frequentlycarried
absurd exto an
tent.
**
But
the
of
boast
the
what
women
our
who
gives
in their
We
and
between
of
received
to
of any
other
fair readers
excuse
for these
us
truest
and
desire
to
most
as,
the occasional
Thank
almost
ladies
you^^
invariably
politeat
as
are
heart
nation, but they do not say it.
little book will, we
of our
are
hints, since
dictated
they are
love for their
and
sex,
a
sure,
by
the
sincere
of
or
a
politeness,will
of
into the company
thrown
with
woman
children
protector,feelingsof humanity,
male
without
We
?),relinquished
For
have
we
ply
them.
serve
sentiments
has not
to ladies.
in return,
travelingyou are
invalid,or an aged person,
a
in omnibuses
fairforeigner.
reverent
If in
without
pearance
ap-
their suburbs.
and
gentleman
that American
believe
The
some
an
ferry-boatswhich
crowded
times
by
constant
of ladies
behavior
"
have
those
of
gentleman
had
have
We
of
triumphantly
of acknowledgment,or pleasant
indebted
We
of the
that there is at least
large cities
our
hundreds
we
the
(aswhat
course
smile
or
been
as
of
the
think
entitled to them
they were
charge.
observe
politeness
never
the kindness
admit
in this
board
on
some
seat
which
if
compelled to
to
opportunities
bow
way,
They
lost.
of
his seat, but settle themselves
up
of truth
our
any
new
are
have,
have
places,as
right."
divine
in this form
possess
to
appear
acknowledging,in
men
dictate such
being obtrusive, you
can
kind
as
well
an
and
as
attentions
find occasion
to
bestow.
You
have
no
right to keep
a
window
open
for your
Etiquette
The
or
of
be
the
in
If
friend,
for
he
yourself
pass
another
in
wishes
or
without
occasion.
all
are
we
riding
to
to
for
pay
both.
remark,
are
a
and
best,
lessen
his
bear
them
sufficient
should
it
much
as
as
Life
part.
own
annoy
is
a
fellow-travelers.
omnibus,
an
at
109
produced
There
traveling,
passenger
thus
air
another.
cheerfully
to
^nd
journey,
in
each
of
and
possible,
of
discomforts
aim
of
current
health
the
endanger
number
the
if
accommodation,
Places.
of
crossing
or
for
never
you,
If
and
he
is
insist
before
return
a
let
a
paying
upon
you,
the
with
ferry
the
compliment
ter
mat-
on
How
110
Behave.
TO
IX.
COURTSHIP
AND
LOVE
Learn
win
to
Nobly,
as
Bravely,
With
Lead
from
her
her
Pure
the
treat
at
silken
and
suc^:
are
Brownittg.
and
courtshipin
volume.
all
It is with
few
of
out
(and girlstoo, we
tender
of his
around
This
place.
Some
age.
lieve,)
be-
charming
sister,in the villageschool,
the
throbbing heart
He
is well.
of the
is made
better
generallyhas a
ession of them, but they are seldom
permanent. They
only beautiful foreshadowingsof the deeper and more
happier by
love of
earnest
Before
marry
"
a
say
acquired
boyish
manhood,
for he
"
is to bind
which
only death
has
man
young
twenty-five,as
such
a
the
an
knowledge
mentally considered,
decide
loves
can
him
to his other
Read
sever.
Ik Marvel's
Life."
Dream
"
his
ties which
^^Zfwith
to
Mrs.
"
passionthat we have
preliminaryhints,however,
fall in love
in his teens.
man
young
meshes
love
require a
very
classmate
words,
the tender
A
a
;
;
TWO.
subjectof
often
Boys
skies
truthful
OE
be deemed
will not
weaves
your
HINT
here.
to do
a
festive
starry
courtship's flatteries.
etiquetteof
the
or
by
boards
the
the
bearings would
its
cousin;
to
from
I.-A
0
high,
death,
loyal gravity.
a
Guard
is
thing
life and
for
as
her
Point
lady's faith
a
the
choice
and
of
of
reached
average
of
the
the proper
"
he
ought
age
to
to
have
himself, physicallyand
which
principles
matrimonial
ought
partners and govern
LoYE
the
relations
up
a
the
is
is to
not
make
mind
up your
before
this
Love
You
have
immediate
requirements
should
safelytrust
own
your
the
affair
an
a
sume
as-
reasonable
lished
estab-
are
you
income
for the
relation,you
new
and
energy
ing
follow-
not, however,
adequate
an
of
is
he
privy counselor.
till you have acquired
of a familywithout
responsibilities
If
prospect of being able to maintain one.
business, or
home
knowledge
the
in
termine
de-
be its
to wait
marry.
you
to
acterize
char-
his mate,
choose
attractions of his soul.
should
set
of his
angel
With
societyand
into
to
mental, should
the
be
of his children.
heart, but the head
fortune
a
who
woman
prepared to go
the
trustingly
Do
excellence, and
female
of
him
enable
qualities,
physicaland
the mother
of the
will
as
sexes,
standard
proper
what
and
the
of
Ill
Courtship.
AND
self-reliance
may
for the
rest.
.
Women
earlier
"
"
woman
ours,
reach
maturityearlier than men, and may marry
age),at twenty. The injunction,
say (as tin average
Know
thyself,"
applieswith as much emphasis to a
Her
to a man.
as
perceptionsare keener than
and
her
sensibilities finer,and
instinct^but she should
add
thorough knowledge
a
constitution,and
of her
sound
health und
to these
her
wife
and
trust
may
natural
relates to
mother.
the
The
to
more
qualifications
physical and
own
whatever
of
destinyas
of
she
mental
requirements
importance of
perfectdevelopmentcan not be overrated.
Without
these you are
never
fitto marry*
Having satisfied yourselfthat you reallylove a woman
be careful,as you value your future happiness and hers,
a
-"
not to make
to
and
See
"
n
tender
(185i)in
matter
thousand
a
Physical Perfection
Strength,"now
in this
mistake
manifest,
of those
means
*
a
ways,
but delicate
; or, How
the course
to
your
and
Acquire
will
you
"
and
of preparation.
find
sion
occa-
by
preference,
deferential
Ketain
atten-
Beauty, Grace,
How
112
tions which
The
love
heart
always prompts.
address
you
will understand
Let there
be
no
Though
its
do not
women
former
"
to
propose"
"
speak
in this matter
fops
that
and
is,as
^
Bo
language.
and
flattery
nauseous
sentimentality.Leave the
to beardless
school-boys.
the heart
Let
"
and manly
self-loyal,
earnest, sincere,
all others.
Behave.
TO
above
no
sickly
the
latter
a
general
the less ; and it
none
they make love" to the men
is right. The
divine attraction is mutual, and should have
attracted
its proper
If you are
expressionon both sides.
rule
''
"
toward
a
is noble
who
man
and
manly,
if you
maiden
do
to you
seems
do
you
not, in
But
do
you
obtrusive
to
a
of
men
As
sense.
womanly
self
your-
entirelyconsistent
with
and
see
feelthat
he
instructions,and
our
pleases
will
we
forwardness, flirting^-and
a
of
preferenceare not agreeable
should
should be manly, so
man
a
and
to him
that
manifestation
be
woman
to
need
not
only hint, in conclusion,
too
way
him
modesty, allow
you.
both
injustice
some
of all that
embodiment
an
in her
love.
II.-OBSEEYANCES.
Particular
1.
Avoid
feelingsof
A
male
there
be
the
even
a
female
A
woman.
to be
between
the
coquette is bad
banished
clearlyperceived,if
attentions
with
trifling
of
slightest
appearance
coquette ought
a
Attentions.
not
of
the
enough.
from
an
society. Let
tinction
easilydefined, discourtesy or
common
of
All misunderstandingon
friendshipand those of love.
be avoided.
and must
this pointcan
The
attentions you pay to the objectof your
particular
devotion
women.
with
should
Every
not
woman
make
you
is her
rude
or
uncivil
sister,and should
to
other
be treated
tions
becoming respect and attention.
Y^^^specialattennot be suqh as
to make
her
to her in societyshould
Love
or
Presents,
2.
and of such
Your
mistress
cost
is
as
will not love
in this matter.
The
in dollars and
cents.
discourage
ministeringto
value
in her
her
to his
mother,
older than
advantage
make
giftis not
good sense
good
means.
your
extravagance
to be
estimated
and
all needless
need
certain
In
elder
delicacy
expenditure
in
his devotion.
of confidants
should
general,they
man
with
may
sister,or
The
himself.
a
a
with
Confidants,
a
heart.
an
of
by
in proofof
or
gratification,
A young
oppositesex.
selected
better for any
you
lover
usuallyfeel
affairs of the
be
fullywarranted
lady of
A
3.
Lovers
them
presents,let
make
taste
will
tion
public exhibi-
no
endearments.
of your
If you
113
Make
ridicule.
subjectof
the
you
Courtship.
and
a
be
profitopen
female
in their
friend
of
the
his heart
ably
consider-
lady may with equal
brother, an uncle, or some
good middleof her love secrets, her
the repository
young
aged married man
hopes, and her fears.
4.
shall make
We
the
let it be
no
Declarations,
attempt
question." Each
clearlyunderstood
do it in his
must
and
admit
no
form
own
evasion.
for
"
ping
pop-
way
; but
A
single
the
lady'spart, will suffice
studied phrases which
it. If the carefully
to answer
you
and so
times
have repeated so many
to yourself
fluently
in your throat and choking you, put
in sticking
will persist
word
them
note
"
How
and
"
yes, less than
prescribea
to
that,on
correctlyand neatlyupon
paper,
inclose it in
a
sheet
of the finest white
plainwhite envelope (see
handsomely with wax, address
fine but
Write"),seal it
and
direct it carefully,
to
a
find
some
way
to
convey
it to
How
114:
Behave.
TO
The
her hand.
should
lady'sanswer
and
revealingbriefly
be
frank
modestly her
and
real
quivocal,
une-
feelings
consequent decision.
and
Asking
5.
Pa."
"
guardiansis,in this
claim a rightto choose
for them
v/omen
country, where
often be dispensed with.
form, and may
selves, a mere
The
lady'swishes, however, should be complied with in
the
Asking
this
in all other
as
will
This
and
of the
if consent
rarelyhappen.
If it
does, there
does
has
a
would
love you
well
consider
enough
If she
may
be
she
lady finds
should
so
should
at
as
must
"
sufl'er the
a
"
the
each
a
very
legalaspect
worst, she
at
tunate
for-
wait
can
all her
rights.
"
say
and
most
to
proposal,
a
considerate
ner,
man-
pain ; but her answer
the gentleman should
If ladies
sincere
no"
and
no"
when
will say
"
earnest
suitor, they
consequences.
7.
The
of age, the
decisive, and
his suit.
yes," to
friends
of her
to inflict unnecessary
withdraw
they mean
to do
to
do it in the kindest
not
pleases. If she
this,at any sacrifice,
possessionof
it necessary
be definite and
once
she
is not
in
or
remedy,
the spirit
Refusals,
6.
a
a
diff'erent,
but,
majorityputs her
until her
a
apply it. If she is
moral rightto bestow
whom
upon
is
to
as
the refusal
occurrence.
If
well
legalas
hand
of the matter
hesitate
is refused?
the love
opinionof
poor
her
and
not
a
who
should
you
have
woman
love
or
And
of age, she
her
parents
matters.
would
we
of
consent
engaged" need
nature
other,neither
Engagement.
not
of the
should
take
relation
particular
pains to proclaim
in which
they stand to
they attempt or
desire
to
con-
116
How
Behave
TO
X.
PARLIAMENTARY
The
and
object of
most
cases,
be
restraint
upon
of
members,
no
safeguard
of
utterly
no
for deliberation
meeting
a
fair decision
a
the
questions
defeated
indecorous
guarantee
against
ETUUETTE.
; for
or
the
majorities,
be
any
obtain
a
of
rules
uniformity
no
conduct,
caprices
nor
to
Without
would
theie
disorderly
against
tyrannical
is, of course,
discussed.
protecticm
no
and
usurpations
suitable
regard
to
expression
free
this
In the
modes
to
of
the
the
rights
of
and
presiding
the
rights
of
opinion,
iu
object would,
order
of the
proceeding,
privileges
officer, no
minority.
"
McEiligott.
I."COUETESY
IN
DEBATE.
fundamental
HE
uously
of courtesy, so strenprinciples
insisted upon throughoutthis work, must
be rigorously
observed
in the debating society,
lyceum, legislative
assembly,and wherever questions
publiclydebated.
are
yet discovered
not
than
"
In
to
''
fact, we
occasion
any
have
which
on
a
in being anything less
gentleman is justified
a
gentleman.
laws
a
paragraph appended to the constitution and byYork
of a New
are
debating club, members
enjoined
calculated
to
delicacyand
respect, conduct
candor, moderation, and
with
all
avoid
with
other
each
treat
all discussions
personalallusions
the
wound
and
feelingsof
a
open
sarcastic
rosity,
gene-
language
brother, and cherish
of this injunction
good fellowship." The spirit
who
should pervade the heart of every man
attempts
take
part in the proceedings of any deliberative
concord
to
In
and
assembly.
II."
The
other
rules
less
OEIGIN
OF
of order
THE
of
CODE.
PAELIAMENTAKY
our
State
important deliberative
Legislatures,and
bodies,
are,
in almost
of
all
Pakliamentak
points, the
fundamental
Congress, which,
growing
same
It is in allusion
derived, in the
its
to
in
origin
that
The
body being duly organized,motions
are
III."
deliberative
in order.
OEDER.
Motions.
party moving
resolution, or
a
making
a
it either with or
simplest form, introduces
Mr. President, I beg leave
remarks, by saying :
the followingresolution,"or,
I move
that,"etc.
without
"
to offer
"
is not
motion
debatable
secondingsimply says,
motion
or
''
is then
till seconded.
I second
stated
The
that motion."
by
the
member
The
olution
res-
chairman, and
is
for debate.
open
2.
A
often called
in its
motion
A
The
OF
EULES
1.
A
of rules and
"
generallyadopted is
of ParliamentaryLaw."
Code
exist
institutions.
code
the
regulationsthus
Common
which
and
government
National
main, from
Parliament, the differences
of differences
out
117
of the
those
as
again, are
of the British
those
Etiquette.
Y
member
wishing
Speaking.
speak on a question,resolution,
address
motion, must rise in his place and respectfully
or
his remarks
to the chairman
or
president,
confininghimselfto the questionand avoidingpersonality.Should more
than
decide
speak
rise at the
member
one
which
to
is entitled
than
to
time, the chairman
same
the
till every
floor.
No
member
must
must
member
wishing to speak
shall have
spoken. In debating societies (and it is for
their benefit that we
make
this abstract)
it is necessary
to define not only how
times, but how
long at each
many
time a member
speak on a question.
may
more
once
3.
When
the debate
Submittinga Question.
or
deliberation
upon
a
subjectappears
118
How
to be
at
close, the presidingofficer simply asks,
a
society[assembly,or
the
question ?"
If
no
Behave.
TO
Are
"
or,
the
subject,he
body
further
submits
then
be] ready
may
for the
ready
you
desire
signifiesa
one
the
whatever
the
for
question?"
discuss
to
Is the
-*
sider
con-
or
due
question in
form.
Voting.
4.
The
voting is generallyby ayes and noes," and the
both
sides being duly given, the presiding
on
answers
officer announces
the result,saying, The
ayes have it,"
The
have it,"accordingas he finds one
side or
noes
or,
the other in the majority. If there is a doubt in his mind
"
"
**
which
side
appear
to have
may
have
it,"or,
be unable
division
The
divide
members
his
record
and
each
marked
duty
bodies
which
"
answers
yes"
by
order
"
the
assembly as
to
The
president
is such
rule
to render
or
may
in connection
by
the
allow
if the
give the
to vote
;
excused
be
advisable
it is deemed
"
ayes
; and
member
member
or
the
questioned,and
be
the roll is called
case
oppositehis
quorum
a
ayes
diately
for,it is his duty imme-
of every
Sometimes
no," which
at
to
the votes
with
the
but
secretary,
is
noted
or
name.
5.
A
the
of members
names
they give,in
should
accuratelycounted
be
It is the
request.
the
But
called
be
to
deliberative
own
it."
The
it,"as
to have
appear
if his decision
or
*'
says,
equally divided, the presidentmust
are
some
he
dissent,he adds,
no
arrange
side
castingvote.
in
or
noes
have
noes
decide,
each
on
is
of the house
to
votes
The
"
If there
"
to
larger number,
it,"or,
be.
case
a
the
has
a
A
Quorum.
number
of members
statute, to be
its transactions
as
present
valid
or
at
a
may
be
meeting
legal.
quired,
re-
i"
The
6.
Democratic
by law,
determined
are
by
which
motions
certain
are
majorityof
a
fixed
otherwise
be
votes.
PrivilegedQuestions,
7.
There
Principle,
their decision
unless
questions,
All
119
Etiquette.
Parliamentary
allowed
are
to supersede
These
called
are
questionalreadyunder debate.
ognized
questions. The followingare the usuallyrecprivileged
questions:
privileged
motion
to
A
1. Adjournment,
adjourn is always in
a
"
precedence of
takes
order, and
while
be entertained
To
2.
Lie
the table
the
body
to
resume
of
3.
The
be debated
Previous
of the
be
amended.
on
to arrest
it found
4.
give
is in progress.
vote
a
he
It
motion
to
amended.
The
"
Its form
and
is,
It is not
*'
test
of the
at
Shall
decision
The
vious
prethe
once
the
debatable, and
question.
otherwise
main
not
can
precludes all
effect of
a
ther
fur-
tive
nega-
determined
question and
main
intention
discussion
affirmative
the main
the
all
hy a specialrule,
amendments
just as
them.
ation
Postponement. A motion to postpone the considerof a question indefinitely,
which
ting
is equivalentto set"
it aside
certain
5.
?"
put
decision, unless
is to leave
A
"
Question.
An
debate
nor
meeting.
be
questionnow
speaking,unless
not
lay a subjecton
is,to set it aside till it is the pleasureof
its consideration
generallytakes precedence
to adjourn. It
others, except the motion
question is
sense
it must
"
all
neither
can
; but
be amended.
not
can
the Table.
on
that
"
while
nor
debatable, and
is not
is
member
a
for that purpose,
way
all others
day.
altogether,may
It is not
Commitment.
question,otherwise
"
A
be
amended
by insertinga
debatable.
motion
to commit
when
is made
admissible,is presentedin
an
a
objec-
How
120
tionable
inconvenient
or
to which
committee
cominittee
form.
it
be
can
raised
be
may
Behave.
TO
If there
be
standing
no
properlysubmitted, a
the
for
purpose.
select
It may
be
motion
to
amended.
Amendment.
6.
is to
amend
resolution
;
be altered
The
"
correct
but
a
in any
motion
its
original
purpose,
to
prevent
amended, but here
of
must
even
so
unless
rule
some
the process
be
course
put
must
to
it
shall
law
or
An
before
exist
be
may
cease.
vote
may
entirelyfrom
amendment
An
or
assembly
an
turn
to
as
a
originalmotion
properlybefore
subversion.
this
the
improve
or
way,
of
legitimateuse
ment
amend-
the
original
holds
the same
rank
question. A motion to amend
indefinite postponement,
the previous question and
is moved
that which
by
superseded,however,
day
or
time
a
"
called orders
are
motion
put first.
to
and
It may
to
postpone
be
a
tain
cer-
to commit.
of the Day.
Orders
7.
motion
a
be
first must
as
fied
Subjectsappointedfor a specifor
of the day, and a motion
precedence of all other business, except a
motion to adjournor a questionof privilege.
are
8. Questions of Privilege. These
questionswhich
of individual members
the rightsand privileges
ivolve
or
the societyor assembly collectively.
They take preol
cedence
takes
them
"
all other
over
except
propositions,
a
motion
to
adjourn.
9.
rules of the
point of
in
of
Questions
ca"e
violated
or
a
"
and
case
difference
not, the
any
member
breach
may
rise to the
rule
a
opinionwhether
questionmust be determined
member
be
can
by
the
may
of the
enforcement
of
of the rule
application
question is usuallydecided
; but
of any
its due
insist upon
the
debate
In
society or body, any
order
of
Order.
insisted
upon.
;
has
but
been
before
Such
a
out
presidingofficer,withappeal from his decision
Parliamentary
and
demand
is
of order
rule
to
of the house
vote
a
Etiquette..
in
other
the matter.
on
debatable, and
121
A
tion
ques-
the
conpresidingofficer,trary
in the
participate
may
cases,
discussion.
"
of any
kind
vote
of
formality
a
to that
of
without
The
12.
which, if there
be
carried
fixed
a
enable
not
motion
to
;
and
the
motion
specialrule,it must
a
to the
time
"
"
revise
within
is
but
to
voted
The
a
8.
Order
contrary,may
deliberative
most
intention
decision
which
a
motion
with
motion
it must
the
of this
found
generallyfixed by
reconsider
motions,except the
rule,
this
generalrule is,that
who
the
be
subject,
requiring
usuallytwo thirds.
on
Reconsider.
to
entertained
member
a
the votes
thing is
any
suspension of
rule
assembly to
The
be
for the
established
an
may
by
When
"
no
Motion
erroneous.
other
rule
a
assembly can
house, on
standingrule
majorityof votes ;
a
an
Rules.
is forbidden
of
proportion
The
13.
is to
by
have
bodies
some
the
of the
vote
there be
Unless
"
before
once
Suspension of
motion
rule
Motion.
a
a
proposed whichpreceded by a
a
be
can
its withdrawal.
allow
be
he
vote.
effect,a motion
withdrawn
before
They are generallyread by
readingbeing called for,without the
the
Withdrawal
11.
read
assembly,every
them.
upon
secretary,on
them
documents
or
papers
deliberative
a
have
rightto
a
requiredto
be
laid before
are
has
member
the
When
Reading of Papers.
10,
to
a
to be
sider
recon-
special
emanate
majority. In
takes precedence
to adjourn.
from
gress,
Conof
all
of Business.
In all
permanentlyorganizedbodies there should be an
order of business, established by a specialrule or by-law ;
unless
such rule or law exists,the president,
but where
no
6
How
122
directed
otherwise
the
'1 he
by
in such
business
be
may
order
he
as
the order
referred
modified
easilyso
of the
vote
a
followingis
Debating Club,
York
Behave.
TO
to in
to be
as
assembly, arranges
think
may
of business
able.
desir-
most
of the New
previous section.
a
suitable
for any
It
similar
society:
1.
Call to order.
2.
Calling the
3.
Reading
4.
7.
Propositionsfor
Reports of specialcommittees.
Ballotingfor candidates.
Reports of standing committees.
8.
Secretary'sreport.
9.
Treasurer's
5.
6.
roll.
the minutes
previousmeeting.
membership.
report.
for the
evening.
the evening.
10.
Reading
11.
Recitations
for
12.
Candidates
initiated.
13.
Unfinished
business.
14.
Debate.
15.
New
16.
Adjournment.
business.
9.
1.
heard
the
to
;
and
only
not
out
Order
of Debate,
having got
member
A
of
end,
all
of
or
till the
the
time
floor,is entitled
fixed
interruptions,
except
order, but rude
a
by
rule
call to
to
has
order,
be
pired
exare
in the extreme.
other
temporarilyyieldsthe floor to anis generallypermittedto resume
the
as
as
soon
but he can
not
claim to do so
as
a
interruption
ceases,
right.
in good taste to designate
3. It is neither in order nor
in debate,and they must
in no
members
bo
case
by name
2.
A
member
who
124
How
Behave.
TO
XI.
MISCELLANEOUS
These, some
they
are
will say,
little things.
are
things.
necessary
MATTERS.
It is
true, they
I." EEPUBLICAN
E
have
We
defined
equalityin
the
have
respect for
no
deference
no
we
another
doctrine
forth.
set
and
Hereditarytitles
from
Lords
us.
entitled to
are
lords
and
them
accordingly. Their
and
dukes.
If
they
are
mand
com-
dukes
respect simply because
no
We
place.
conventional
are
honor
equally true, that
there
as
mere
arbitrarydistinctions.
men,
it is
DISTINCTIONS.
fullyaccept
J)
little ; but
are
Chesterfield.
"
they
reallynohle
titles
are
mere
social fictions.
True
republicanismrequiresthat
an
equal chance
as
unequal as
or
the
his
rank
The
error
his
grades
of
should
man
of his
to his
committed
consists
communities
shall be free to become
man
merit.
by
not
birth,and should
not
frequentoccasion, in
and
in the
the
*
take
that
professedlyrepublican
our
recognitionof
natural
on
inferiors.
the less
^
rank, but in basing them,
artificial and
be valued
his position,
grandfather,
should be
occupation. The man
accidents
is due
shall have
man
of his
account
the
which
No
can.
or
possessions,
superiorto
on
he
on
more
that every
"
every
classes
they too
grounds. We
as
often
have
and
do,
had
periors
precedingpages, to speak of suWe
fully recognize the relation
Life Hk^trated.
MATTERS,
MiSCELLAITEOIJS
these
which
indicate.
words
NaturCj who
has
It is useless
in the
nowhere
125
quarrelwith
to
universe
given us an
example of the absolute, unqualified,dead-level equality
which
to
some
pseudo-reformershave vainly endeavored
Such
institute among
men.
levelingis neither possible
desirable.
nor
Harmony is born of difference, and not
of
sameness.
have
We
in
in
the
paying
of every
rank
Avenue, and
country
our
kind.
A
vulgar
millionaire
light
de-
to fictitious
obsequious homage
most
who
class of toad-eaters
a
the
of
Fifth
foreignadventurer with a meaninglesstitle,
are
equally objectsof their misplaceddeference.
Losing
manhood
and self-respect,
they descend
sightof their own
have
little hope
to the most
degradingsycophancy. We
them.
of benefiting
They are "joined to their idols ; let
them
a
alone."
much
largerclass of our people are inclined to
go to the oppositeextreme, and ignoreveneration, in its
human
for
reverence
aspect, altogether. They have no
anybody or anything. This class of people will read our
But
a
book
and,
trust, profitby its well-meant
we
respect them, though
They
manners.
fail to accord
for their
due
for any
townsman
million and
in
because
a
hired
settingout
to the
the
of
in
but
with
touched
due
to
age
has
claim
no
on
can
own
your
and
grown
not
in his hands
half
count
a
palatialmansion
neighbor
you
he
respect, simply because
has
siderable
con-
derived.
source
Uollarmark
lives in his
cottage ;
have
It is
of others.
deference
whatever
half,while you
he
manhood
we
million,which
a
a
their
always commend
independence and manliness, but
that
Mr.
We
not
can
respect
special token
half
or
have
specialbenefit
emphasis on
genuine rank, from
Your
we
hints.
to
a
thousand,
and
you
Anvil, who,
Mr.
life,like yoirself,without
herited
in-
a
penny,
hag
How
126
amassed
and
on
little fortune
a
a
unaided
exertions,
"
honor
conferred
discoveries, and
though
the
he
helped to
has
in which
yet reached
It is not
for
of deference
birth,or wealth,
and
Your
hired
is your
superior in
business
relation
bargainfor
character
no
to
a
"
II."
words
He
be
your
wall
CITY
civil and
AND
civilized
for
should
man
in the
certain
of money
He, and
who
same
ulated
stip-
; but you
positionand
real social
to
other
any
inferior,but it
sell you
may
side,"and
have
is what
stand
may
him.
the
but
Another
man.
that your
call for from
the
life. This
republic.
way,
who
reverence,
amount
stipulated
deference
do not
entitled
every
to you.
for
services
a
place
position.
ask
we
hired
is your
those
occupation,or
or
the
earned
way,
from
Patrick, may
he
because
own
to
in
titles in
man,
Goodman
give character
in his
scientific
who,
fame, is drawing
life,during which
and
equallyelevated
an
rank
men
The
and
nohility
wrought out
inherent
is not
build up
Mr.
useful
circumstance, that
accidental
give
wealth
long and
a
token
some
country by his
friend
lives,have, each
he
right to
both
to
of
close
his
on
aged
your
stranger
a
toward
be
by his own
by
position
his manliness, integhigh social
rity,
and good breeding,is entitled to a certain deference
ority.
your part a recognitionof his merits and his superiMr.
self
Savant, who has gained distinction for himsecured
and
not
Behave.
TO
not
you, may
precedence everywhere.
COUNTET.
are
derived
the
from
Latin
from the Greek
^nd polite,
"7ro\ig
a city,
cittd),
(Ital.
the first to become
cities are
a
(polis),
city; because
civilized, or civil,and polite,
or
polished (Latin,polire).
civitas
They
are
as
still,
a
general rule,
the
of
home
highly cultivated people, as well as of
most
degraded,and unquestioned arbiters
the
most
rudest
and
of fashion
and
the
Miscellaneous
social observances.
laid down
and
this
meridian
of the
borrowed
from
condition
and
The
of
the
on
subjectof
of the
country
suirt the
to
of the different localities.
in
mind, and your
white
etiquette,
say, for the
astronomers
city. The observances
the city,and modified
wants
be borne
works
the
127
the rules
reason
all other
calculated,as
are
always
For
in this
manners,
Matters.
behavior
social
This
must
cordingly.
regulatedac-
pale yellow gloves,which
or
are
you
ing
duringthe whole evening at a fashionable evenably
party in the city,on pain of being set down as unbearvulgar,would be very absurd appendages at a social
in the country.
None
but a
gathering at a farm-house
must
wear
snob
would
them
wear
at
such
a
place.
So
with
other
things.
III.-IMPOETED
N.
Willis
p.
useless
school
were
etiquette
should
We
"
says,
American
MANNEES.
of
good
thrown
be
glad
to
see
a
in which
manners,
aside, but every
tinctly
disall
politeness
which
could promote sensible
and
adopted or invented
sense
easy exchanges of good-willand sociability.Good
and
usage
have
for others
consideration
politelife that
long thought that
of
should
be the basis
of every
is worth
regarding. Indeed, we
old enough to
country was
our
and
etiquettesof its own, based, like all
adopt measures
and
benevolence
other politeness,
sense.
common
upon
To get rid of imported etiquetteis the first thingto do for
politeness."
This is an
important truth well stated.
imported conventionalism
enough of mere
' )ur
should
not be English or French
usages
American
English and French
principles. Politeness
ther than
and
times
always, but
and
the forms
places;
for
an
of
are
usages
is the
same
which
in
had
manners.
usages,
founded
etiquettemust
observance
have
We
on
fur
versal
uni-
everywhere
change with
may
be proper
How
128
and
useful
in New
London
in
to
answer
correspondent who
a
should
citizen
We
address
The
Duke
says
inquireswhether
European
a
of
nobleman
Most
as
purely fictitious,
are
an
by
:
No.
unhesitatingly,
answer,
titles
TITLES.
FICTITIOUS
title,
Life Illustrated
'*
abundantlyabsurd
be
may
York.
American
his
Paris
or
IV."
In
Behave.
TO
Northumberland,
for
well
of the European
ridiculous.
as
example,
has
nothing
in
to do with
Northumberland, nor does he exercise
particular
over
dukeship (orleadership)
anything except his
The
title is a perfectabsurdity
privateestate.
; it means
nickname
nothing whatever ; it is a mere
; and Mr. Percy
is a fool for permittinghimself
to be addressed
as
My
'
Lord
Duke,' and
'
Your
Grace.'
Indeed,
gentlemen use those titles very
alone
habituallyemploy them.
are
thrown,
in their
society,into
may
treat
And
we
have
people to
will
but one,
by
the
At
the
communication
with
them
My-Lording
travels,or
them.
In
faith
enough
believe
see
our
stowment
time,
of real
in their
are
titles
citizens
intercourse
who
with
bearing titles,
respect without
Gracing or
opinion,they should do so.
in the
good
of the very
we
servants
persons
that the next
voluntaryaction
same
American
of the
sense
generation,or
generalabandonment
a
England,
sparingly,and
with
all due
in
even
the next
of fictitious titles
people who
inclined
lish
Eng-
to
titles which
think
hold them.
that
the be-
something,
titles given in recognitionof distinguishedworth
and
eminent
of tin
services, titles not hereditary"will be one
cherished
most
prerogativesof the enlightenedstates of
the good time
coming. The first step, however, must be
the
total
abolition
hereditary.
"
of all titles which
mean
are
fictitious and
Miscellaneous
v."
A
Matters.
MIEEOR
FOE
CEETAIN
The
followingrather broad
ought to be gentlemen, were
We
the article
Who
*'
are
hints to certain
clippedfrom
bipedswho
some
paper.
news-
to whom
to credit
:
tell
can
and
censure
MEN.
do not know
we
sorry
129
why
women
expected,on pain
to a high standard
are
avoidance, to conform
behavior, while
of
of
indulgedin another a great deal
lower ? We
could fully
understand
should
never
why men
be tolerated in the chewing of tobacco, in smoking and in
a
spitting
everywhere almost, and at all times, whereas
do any of these things without
not
woman
can
exciting
to be allowedly
aversion and disgust. Why ought a man
so
ner
self-indulgent,
puttinghis limbs and person in all manmen
are
uncouth
of attitudes,however
and
distasteful,
merely
yieldhim temporary eases, while
vulgarities
is always required to preserve
a
woman
an
attitude,if
of positivegrace, at least of decency and propriety,
not
from which
if she departs,
though but for an instant,she.
branded
low creature
forfeits respect,and is instantly
!
a
as
when
he has the tooth"Can
ache,
any one
say why a man
such
because
is called
to
suffer in
matter
a
as
permitted,
vent his feelings
very
of course,
or
other
to groan
should
way,
and
be
bellow, and
styleof an animal not
with reason', while a woman
endowed
similarly
suffering
bear it in silence and decorum
?
must
Why should men,
and as a matter of right,
a
as
class,habitually,
boldlywear
the coarsest
swear,
and
much
any
of
qualities
in the
human
nature
on
and beastify
themselves,
fight,
obligedto
be
and
at
put into separate pens
the
depots,while
woman
the
so
in the
must
outside,and
that
cars
they are
on
appear
roads,
rail-
with
the
when
agreeable countenance, if not in smiles,even
head, or perhaps the heart, aches, and are expected tc
an
6*
How
130
Behave.
TO
or
permit nothing ill-tempered,
disagreeable,
to
outwardly, but
appear
their
bosoms
own
otherwise
would
are
the
avoid
the
behavior
reason
of the
the
lady, and
who
with
It is
good
does
all he
can
which
by
If
a
it
is
writing.
serious
do not
blame
dress
play
with.
Read
to
Let
modest, and
alone
to
be
be
without
malice
secret.
a
in
in bad
than
mirth.
another
or
Break
Gaze
not
not
speaks,be
a
on
Let
attentive.
a
your
man
not
hasty
too
another.
Let
Play
It is better
conversation
your
jest where
the
short.
be
condition.
your
not
your
succeeds
not
injury of
Urge
envy.
be
When
speak first.
him though he
company.
books
Let
of business,
consult
paper
or
grave.
peacock hy lookingvainly at yourself.
the
no
to
any
countenance
your
be
the
with
the papers
near
thankfully. Be
admonitions
be
sign of respect
neither
matters
to let others
can,
;
matters
lying reports
receive
not
MANNEES.
some
played
Come
others, on
manners
Take
well.
in
but
;
discourse
your
to be
OF
with
flatterer
no
he
when
be
to
in company.
another
When
Be
delightsnot
book
not
ought
present.
cheerful
to
them, they
constantly regulated.
CODE
WASHINGTON'S
action
Every
of
ners.
man-
assigned,why one should always be
a
hardly ever
hope
gentleman, we
other
VI."
or
and
standards
be
to
done."
will be
one
we
many
among
before
up
is
sexes
?
of their tastes
different
very
two
be
can
held
thus
they might
exciting sex
more
improvement
observingthe
not
those
suggestions only
the mirror
In
lest
may,
in
concealed
of others
stronger and
for the
on
they
as
cheerfulness
few
a
hint to
reflected
any
the
lessen
These
"
suffer
to
all these
keep
to
unhappj
even
friend
none
blemishes
to
take
of
cover
dis-
sure
plea-
others.
How
J32
Go
possible economy.
house, and
live in
things is
make
to
Don't
act
of nice
use
spirit
your
upon
cards
put your
your
and
tiful
beau-
educate
to
"
up
and
you
Another.
around
If
privateboudoir.
them
keep
The
pig-pen!
a
shut
"
beautiful.
you
your
little further
a
3.
in
Behave.
TO
in
you
basket
suitable
a
the
or
unless
looking-glass,
wish
to
displaythem,
vase
on
the
mantle
or
center-table.
4.
Polite
always
when
a
their
ask
we
service
If
they
mildness
and
all.
lips,an
bad
a
is
grace,
obliged to
are
smile
is
in their countenance,
earnestness
favor of them.
a
with
necessarilyobliging. A
are
persons
on
ObligingDisposition,
An
that to render
They know
not
in reality
refuse
a
to render
it at
favor, they do it with
delicacy; they express such feelingregret
that they still inspireus
with gratitude; in short, their
conduct
so
perfectlynatural,that it reallyseems
appears
that the opportunity
v/hich is offered them
of obliging
us,
is obligingthemselves
they refuse all our thanks,
; and
without
affectation
or
5.
Let
me,
as
enter
my
Securing a
somewhat
a
varying phases
effort.
of
social
earnest
Home.
observer
scrutinizing
life,in
our
protest against the practice so
adopted by newly-married
for
place of at once
establishing
and
and
time
tke
manifold
system.
persons,
alike
evils
fail
me
in
an
the
advice
of
an
out
boarding,
the
tinctive
dis-
Language
home.
endeavor
growing
inevitably
Take
of
themselves
ennobling prerogativesof
would
country especially,
own
commonly
in
of the
to
set
forth
able
of this fashion-
old man,
who
has
Miscellaneous
tested
theories
establish
Penates
within
household,
of your
obligationsof
married
life.
step by the conviction
deities
God's
"
will suffice
free
for them
lady
should
what
she
either
such
and
garments
service.
if it be
but
firm,
making
at
or,
do
us
they
best, followed
at
a
have
those
distance
be
are
; it does
especiallypolite.
; the
them
cause
his
arm
or
plainone
never
poor,
to
loses
to
fear
a
;
in others'
to
taste,
do
to
be
fashion,"
"
which
term
are
meretricious.
time
or
lady or gentleman
elderlypersons
whose
neglect.
gives his
dance
All
those
and
that
of
toward
not
is called
suit
fact
mere
sacrificed
be
true
Special Claims.
to whom
persons
the
great way
a
should
their
things which
and
us,
;
neglected
are
her
done
nor
7.
There
with
wear
economy,
and
ease,
in, what
completely
under
things being embraced
many
frivolous,unmeaning, and sometimes
entirelyout,
home-
your
ungracefulgarment
well, goes
Fashion
so.
this
plainestsupport
of
an
at her
adorn
look
we
or
only of
believe
we
that
believing
before
from
their bases
the
account
ugly
an
rightsand
Fashion.
vs.
on
careful
are
which
and
us
"
put her
long
Cover
and
never,
never
We
marble.
Taste
shrine
not
can
a
properly
deterred
be
not
all
deems
aside
cast
Do
giftto
6.
the
once
under
not
are
assuming
upon
at
walls, and
all who
that you
pedestals of
upon
fiowers
A
four
will, at times, exclude
denizens
133
by prolonged experience, and
your
that
roof
Matters.
to
an
attends
estimation
;
the
should
ive
unattract-
dependent positionsmay
The
gentleman
old
lady ;
who
one
or
his
is
own.
or
who
asks
offers
a
very-
poorly dressed,
How
13i
of
of
knowledge
others
it is
;
sacred
self, and
one's
of
feeling
a
by
A
false
The
occasion.
home
his
soil
can
is,
short,
in
a
his
gentleman
a
many
him
when
muscles
parcel,
a
for
proper
is
qualities.
mean
very
use
truest
than
are
thing
or
Broadway,
through
imposed
are
it
of
rights
Pride,
any
or
;
a
affection.
and
hands
market-basket,
a
relations
dignity
do
will
gentleman
true
He
and
pride
which
sacrifices
False
the
for
respect
harmony
of
9.
False
the
social
our
requirement
of
of
result
valuable
the
is
deportment
self-esteem
on
of Deportment.
Propriety
8.
Propriety
Behave.
TO
there
likely
more
wheel
to
or
conceited
little
do.
to
to
is
carry
barrow
a
of
snob
a
shop-boy.
The
10.
and
natural
distressing
gifted
one
fun"],
of
a
for
dressed
When
than
fine
ungainly
as
if
to
a
with
to
gown
in
in
sensitive
see
or
bran-new
lady
a
moquer
laboring
gentleman
coat.
Dressed.'*^
"
to
undress.
person,
esprit
a
strive
company,
were
you
an
;
a
of being
Awkwardness
appear
Nothing
more
or
who
is
the
is
more
ridiculous
[a disposition
under
easy
as
to
"
to
make
consciousness
stiff, awkward,
and
Maxims
Chesterfield.
fkom
135
XII.
FROM
MAXIMS
The
of
pages
profit.
"
the
Genuiue
Oracle"
Noble
politeness
is
are
same
wonderful
a
replete with
always
sound
) tingin
claims
to
their
pains,head-aches,
whom
a
having detailed
of
himself, who,
in
by asking the news.
which
we
ought to appear,
ought
make
to
no
wherein
matters
on
our
real life but cheerful
be
2.
art of
The
of
very
will teach
done
Observe
the
The
difficult
you
by, is
more
one
to
your
dress
and
;
it be
is
we
in
no
should
valetudinarians
to say
not
costed
ac-
a
word
up.
of Pleasing.
very
own
method
one
necessary
acquire.
of it than
the surest
a
ought to rejoice. There
Art
a
meet
we
ourselves, unless
life ; therefore
pleasingis
to rules ; and
be
good-humor is
they enter into company
until the meeting breaks
of themselves
a
grievances,is
whenever
mention
friends
his
ness
happiopinion
mean
very
before
sw^orn
but
Mutual
a
This
social
help to
have
car-
entertaining
a
historyof
ill-treatment.
meanest
must
man
think of
with
and
put-
persons,
and
they converse
is,of all others,the
and
Humor,
company,
with
with
Bienesatice,
thing that so many
should
good-breeding,
those
receive
all may
Madavie
"
Good
"Ut^ rying their spleen into
;
advice, which
everywhere.
and
Cheerfulnessand
1.
T
is the
CHESTERFIELD.
good
I
can.
It
hardly be
can
and
sense
to possess,
Do
that I know
as
duced
re-
observation
you
of
would
pleasing.
what
carefully
pleases you in others, and
same
things in you will please others.
ably
probIf you
How
136
pleased with
are
depend
to you,
on
tone
the
of the company
give it ;
be
or
of the company.
to the
is
resembles
that
the
of real money
carried
abroad.
or
and
when
A traveler
politeall
are
should
is
the
of taste
world
circulates
serves
attempt
be
every
at
once
but
over,
to circulate
who
national
with
some
so
if
thoughteither
truly well-bred
despisethose
to
regarded by
are
which
It
country would
He
culpable.
coin
base
who
A person
ridiculous
which
dividual
in-
every
home, but is entirelyuseless
at
trash in another
to value
from
royal mandate.
his native
when
present humor
due
attention
pretend to
Adaptation of Manners.
through a country by
purpose
find the
you
an
do not
the
majority.
3.
Ceremony
in, and
are
as
gay,
This
tion,
atten-
same
that you
serious
of otherg
complaisanceand
Take
equally please them.
it,the
upon
attention
and
complaisance
part, will
your
Behave.
TO
much
knows
arities
peculiance.
observ-
perceivesthat the wise
that fools are
politeonly
at home.
Bad
4.
Habits.
Keep yourselffree from strange tricks or habits,such
snapping your
as
thrustingout your tongue, continually
fingers,rubbing your hands, sighing aloud, gaping with a
noise like a country fellow that has been sleepingin a hayloft,
indeed
or
have
with
of the mob,
rude
and
Hoc
"
Do
age
what
and
vulgarto
appearance
These
before.
noticed
of fine
was
you
and
;
a
gentleman.
back
head
that
of the
imitations
are
your
others
many
degradingto
are
lean
Do
a
maxim
what
You
among
about, and
are
the
It is
destroythe
and
About.
Romans,
do that
only
"
I
ners
man-
papered walls.
5.
are
noise
any
which
A
means,
littlemind
Maxims
Chesterfield.
fkom
137
is hurried
of sense
by twenty things at once
; but a man
does but one
thing at a time, and resolves to excel in it ;
for whatever
is worth
doing at all, is worth doing well.
Therefore, remember
give yourself up
to
thingyou are doing,be it what
have
or
your play ; for if you
desire
excel
to
well
ball,as
There
themselves
a
want
a
learning.
6.
Peoplewho
have
This
has
of attention
the
and
never
first
divested
awkwardness
;
out of
never
they were
owing to carelessness,
been
to
cricket, at trap-
yet have
if
vulgar as
as
will
frequentedthe
stiffness
natural
book
your
Learn.
never
lifetime,and
all their
hall.
age, at
people who
been
continued
servant's
and
in
whether
right ambition, you
a
of your
boys
of their
have
but
as
have
companies
all
it may,
the
to
entirely
and
manners
behavior
of
others.
Conformityto
7.
Local
Manners.
which
is a disposition
and
to accommodate
Civility,
the same
in every country ;
oblige others, is essentially
it is called, which
but good-breeding,
is the manner
of
as
is different in almost every country,
exerting that disposition,
and merely local ; and
of sense
imitates
every man
and
conforms
to that local good-breeding of the
place
he
which
is at.
How
8.
The
greatest favors
bunglinglyas
done
offend
a
great
secret.
great deal
chymists would
;
and
more
be, if it
It
done
awkwardly
disagreeablethings may
be
may
almost
agreeably as
so
this
worth
to
Confer Favors.
to
so
oblige.
to
exists,it is
than
the
were,
as
Endeavor
to be
grand
to
and
be
quire
ac-
found, and is
secret
it is not, to be
of the alfound.
How
138
Behave.
TO
Fitness,
9.
One
of
which
for
the
things
many
that
what
doing
means
are
but
systems,
them
study
of
polite manner
of
for
a
but
does
a
How
good-natured,
he
but
is
very
no
is
a
not
being
civil
in
the
world
would
not
civil
to
the
to
is
be
a
spirit,to speak
to
talk
gentle
timid.
indiscreetly.
words
and
Adopt
no
him,
the
tions
solicita-
to
be
learned
will
of
his
be
may
;
own,
a
very
Women,
all
to
justly
women
;
and
reckoned
ber
remem-
justify any
can
;
and
the
a
greatest
brute, if he
man
man
were
woman.
Spirit,
fashionable
very
with
men.
silly,fellow.
woman
every
meanest
now
;
place,
one
Read
with
no
of
whatsoever
12.
Spirit
have
asked
very
provocation
in
in
necessary
to
Civility is particularly due
that
it is
proper
nature.
comply
to
Civility to
11.
in
but
decency,
Refuse,
to
seems
that
everything
where
another.
in
refusing
who
man
young
is
yourself.
is also
company
life
time, and
one
books,
in
10.
A
at
improper
therefore, yourself, not
and
is proper,
proper
extremely
are
of
important points
most
spirit,means
An
resolute
able
actions
word.
only
to
shows
man
;
he
is
To
act
act
with
rashly,
his
neither
and
spirit by
hot
nor
How
140
had
things that
bountiful
there
she
ought
how
or
for
text
a
I remember
there
there
;
the
were
Sister
Scrub
sister
burned,
been
as
the
the
it
Elder
good
He
was
no
more
would
He
of
way
would
speak just what
Elder
of
that
or
have
ought to
was
she
ing
noth-
got the
man,
I
name
to
Elder
of the most
repast
the
was
reader
Blunt
dare
a
mental
genuine,experi-
He, like
plain man.
to preach di.fine
sermon
celebrated
was
thought, and
he
of
being
and
speaks
Blunt
had
heard
resolved
who
an
for his
he thinks.
as
of Sister
to
cure
as
he
eccentric
never
Mr.
than
common-
felt.
He
He
preacher,as
and
prevaricates,
Somehow
Scrub, and
her.
"
was
very
believe, does
acts
hers, and he
a
the
exhibitingthe principlesof religion.
sense
always
much
too
that there
actor
preacher.
religionwas
fine coat.
every
We
once.
was
that
acts
our
another
circuit
His
somehow
sure
these
introduce
now
man.
a
was
the good
instantly
There
bad
;
gravy
apologiesas
unjustifiable
could, simply remarking that every thing was
kind.
wear
I
smoked,
been
too
endured
Blunt, the
Wesley,
in
for
coffee
her
enough.
was
potatoes reeking
us.
course,
we
will
;
a
the
was
swimming
asked
sion.
occa-
table that
a
There
ambition
had
water
the
on
and
turnips,
afraid
the chicken
to offer
)f
and
;
of which
want
to
the
were
chickens
reallynice, and proving by
tempting to our appetites.
I
it matter
enjoy.
to
there
;
was
salad, and
me
We,
well
that
or
nice
she
;
sat down
we
her
gratified
blessingwas
a
roasted
s(
repast reallywas
vrere
had
began
hadn't
the
happy
onions
down, and
sat
prepared
that
bread
how
did
disparagingdiscourse
been
such
Nor
once
king might have
lightsnow-white
butter
a
and
have.
to
well
got such
had'nt
always something deficient,the
was
furnished
in
she
sick, and
half
been
Behaye.
TO
On
that
or
other,
infirmity
his first round
Illustrative
he
stopped at
done
before
horse
and
He
time
heard
it
Scrub
could
than
said
He
if to
to hear
This
something
time, if Sister
upside down
sadly mortified
was
The
elder looked
the
soon
all
was
she
and
arrangements, but he
expected.
observe
preacher entered
best room,
domestic
plight.
a
the
expected
stay in, and
such
as
he
took the elder's
man,
credited,her house
be
caught in
young
into the
disparagingthe
fit to
room,
shown
141
all other itinerants had
stable,and
at home.
sooner
it wasn't
in the
was
much
in due
the
John, the
put him
felt very
be
Squire Scrub's," as
"
him.
the house.
Anecdotes.
terrible
;
to
all around
disorder, but he
By-and-by the dinner was
ready,and
the elder sat down
with the familyto a well-spreadtable.
Here
again Sister Scrub found every thing faulty; the
coffee wasn't
fit to drink, and she hadn't any thingfit to
not
The
eat.
elder
he
moment
austere
"
word.
a
seemed
gaze
Brother
Scrub, I
her
to
eye
penetrate her
to
then
;
dark
lifted his
face ; for
soul
very
with
a
his
slowly risingfrom the table,he said,
want
immediately; I must
my horse
leave !*
"
Why,
"
Matter
and
Brother
?
house
sir,your
Why,
haven't
you
is the matter
Blunt, what
thing fit to
any
eat
?"
isn't fit to
stay in,
drink, and I won't
or
stay."
Both
This
the
was
They
a
stay in
wouldn't
wasn't
Poor
She
stupefied.
were
there
any
Sister
"knew
everybody
should
confounded.
Squire" and his lady were
for.
entirelyunlocked
piece of eccentricity
"
she
hadn't meant
house
a
not
thingfitto
Scrub
it would
would
be
meet
the
be
eat
elder
and
all
a
where
child at her
her."
blunt,honest
what
He
gone.
drink.
town," she
over
laughing at
anythingby
was
stay in, and
fit to
wept like
She
!
the
But
she
And
elder
had
said, "and
then, how
again ?
said."
folly.
Ah
"
She
! she
142
HowtoBehave.
thought how
never
didn't
it
anything.
upshot of the whole
herself
saw
Elder
Blunt
thing as it
thought by
others
as
apologies, and
matter
Rev.
"
became
always puts
the
Johnson,
Mr.
in the
Christian.
better
is
eccentricities,
he
agreeable,as
the
be
is
knowledged
ac-
consistent,of
most
PEE8ENCE
THE
English traveler,relates,in
an
his
I
''
says,
told
was
neighborhood who, having
of
no'
^s
farm
a
gentleman
a
servant,
in every
satisfactory
respect, except
into his employer's room
with
invariablycame
him
every
Watson.
Boston," he
At
making
America, the followingstory :
North
"
ceased
all his
most
to
Scrub
there, always finds
up
family the
J. V,
and
be, and, with
should
that Sister
She
wiser
a
II."
on
that
inuch
so
say
was,
her."
saw
by everybody
men.
to
was
mean
The
"
wicked
very
found
that
he
his
hat
on.
"
*
John,' said he
hat
your
on
when
to the
man
"
*
Well, sir,'said John,
"
'
Yes,'
his
was
'
you
always keep
into the room,'
come
you
day,
one
haven't
and
'
I
employer's reply,
'
a
I
rightto
V
you
suppose
have.'
Well,' said John,
"
'
"
This
*
if I have
a
rightto, why
shouldn't
IV
was
a
equal rights. So,
have
gentleman asked
"
'
wages
Now,
will
after
man
a
to
another, where
moment's
all
reflection,the
:
John,
you
one
what
ask,
to
take, how
will
you
take
off your
much
more
hat whenever
you
in V
come
"
man.
from
poser
*
said
I guess,'
Well, that requiresconsideration,
the
AnEODOTES.
li^LTTSTRATIVE
"
Take
'
the
the
thing into consideration, then,' rejoined
and
employer,
'
The
"
"
'
"
'
"
'
morrow
let
to have
appears.
what
considered
you
for
morning.'
to-morrow
John
and
comes,
are
you
know
me
Well, John, have
wages
143
hat off?'
taking your
Well, sir,I guess it's worth
It's settled,then, John ; you
dollar
a
additional
month.'
a
shall have
lar
dol-
another
month.'
a
the
gentleman retained a good man, while John's
hat was
always in his hand when he entered the house."
This
who
knows
New
story, to one
England, is not
the democratization
of this
incredible. Toward
altogether
country, yet most incomplete,it will perhaps be one
day
So
"
conceded
that
England
sentiment
made
has
South
contributed
the
while
;
Yankees
and
the most
the kindest
are
of manner,
in
as
of the
by Cavaliers, retains much
and
careless
elegance of manner
the soil they till,are
generous.
from
to
to
subsistence
the
virtues
sterling
awkwardness
stiff-jointed
of thought,v^hich
possess
a
their
wring
those
ceases
But
to say
We
to
who
be
John
The
But
of
of
people,
our
world
is there
rudeness
South, colonized
improvidence
Southerners, like
the
Yankees,
farmers, and
from
and
them
most.
A
tomed
accus-
along
nature
renders
scended
de-
unwillingsoil,
an
manner,
have
of life.
Cavalier
; and
will
much
so
of human
respect them
with
gularity
sharp anunpleasingeven
a
Yankee
seldom
provincial.
is
waiting,hat
respectinghis case.
say
with
New
conduct
in the
Puritanic
and
austere
the
to
England.
New
West
the acutest
and
ungraceful. Nowhere
combined
good feeling,
much
ideas, and
Great
both
applicationof
partial
a
The
so
the
that John
but
voluntarily,
was
that the
in
hand,
wrong
to hear
in not
feelingwhich
what
we
have
takingoff his hat
prevented his doing
144
so
How
right.
was
circumstance
claim
no
he
as
He
specialmark
any
considered
been
rightin feelingthat
being a hired man
gave
that the
special mark
a
of social
of
John
would
of
a
man,
larlyon
of the
kind
some
accident
his
of the two
as
and
James
Par
in
out
writer
The
were
of the
not
superiorto the mere
remembered
only that he
and
equals.
The
positions
A
MAN
LEAENED
many
which
errors
TABLE.
AT
are
liable
to
be
mitted
com-
through ignorance of usage, are pleasantlypointed
is related by a French
the followingstory, which
:
Cosson, professorin the
Abbe
Greek,
knew
commit
the person
ton,
perfectwell
who
respect,
risen
men
thoroughlyaccomplished in
with
of
sign
"
III."
Some
visible
some
royal
might be reversed in a day ; their equality,
could
affect.
citizens,nothing but crime
men
men
of the innumerable
one
position,and
employer
ferred
re-
co-sovereign,and particu-
have
his
act
knowledgment.
ac-
the presence
into
John
of
have
interpretation.
salutation,is due from
should
and^
;
that
The
an
coming
on
and
country,
make
of deferential
entering.
and
felt that
him
ment
acknowledg-
an
to
such
employer
hat would
mistaken.
borne
enteringhis abode,
residences
declined
was
fellow-citizen
a
of his
respect, and thus
have
his
respect from
removal
John
not
have
ought to
of
he
inferiority,
But
to
the accidental
was
of his
to
Behave.
TO
an
long
all Persius
error
before
after dinino^ with
in company
with
"
he
:
and
had
error
discovered
the Abbe
several
his
at table.
and
But
One
mistake.
de Radonvilliers
courtiers
himself
a
conceptionthat a man
by heart could possibly
no
Horace
all,an
above
he
of
art
literature, considered
Latin, and
of science
the
College Mazarin,
teaching,saturated
at
marshals
it was
day,
Versailles,
of Francci
I
he
and
the
boasting of
was
I V
A
Ji;
E
N
C 1) O
T E
145
S
.
acquaintance with
rare
exhibited
he had
which
custom
f
A
K
S T
U
L
L
etiquette
at dinner.
The
Abbe
terrupted
conduct, ineulogy upon his own
that he had
to wager
his harangue by offering
at the table
at least a hundred
committed
improprieties
Cosson.
I did exactly
!" exclaimed
is it possible
How
like the rest of the company."
sand
You
did a thouWhat
absurdity!" said the other.
thingswhich no one else did. First,when you sat
did you do with your napkin ?"
down
at the table,what
My napkin ! why, just what everybody else did with
theirs.
I unfolded it entirely,
and fastened it to my button-hole."
this
heard
Delille,who
'*
*'
"
'*
**
"Well,
dear
my
friend," said Delille,"you
the
No
one
only one that did that,at all events.
hangs up his napkin in that style; they are contented
with placingit on their knees.
And what did you do when
were
you
took
your
soup
took
my
spoon
in
*'
:
"
the
who
breaking it,of
ever
eats
your
egg
me
an
"
egg
?"
"
"
Like
*'
Let
you
claret wine
you
cut
eat
and
your
it with
my
did you
the
behind
fork ?
a
eat ?"
shell ?"
the Abbe
!
near
You
never
should
You
nothing
you,
?"
"
speak
Bless
of hens
asked
of your
"
for
for claret
my
to
after
send
soul !
a
excepting in
of
drinking.'
and champa^?ie.^^
always ask for
But
tell me,
Surely I
did
that
7
nobody
And
wine.
knife in the most
it to
en.
fowl, or chick-
mode
then, that persons
champagne
bread
Abbe,
shell.
egg.^'
Without
"
Radonvilliers
him."
have
Handed
"
"
"
to proceed
A fresh
"
dear
I asked
hen
But
chair."
my
Well, my
"
rest, I asked
inform
me
with
soup
I
fork in the other
my
breaking the
say
all the
others, I believe.
without
the
piece of the hen
the barn-yard.
But
stood
the
and
do with
course."
piece of
a
ate
ever
did you
servant
hand
soup, what
after your
what
And
Like
"
one
Who
fork !
Your
?"
regularmanner
how
did
properly. I
possible.^'
How
14:6
"Bread
should
fee, how
and
I
did
never
pour
it from
the
felt that
broken,
it V^
manage
here
the
your
coffee
though
into
The
cup."
enforced
not
cof*
rather
too
hot,
saucer."
Well,
"
You
but
you
should
always
drink
confounded.
was
of the
master
He
ences,
sci-
seven
species of knowledge
equallyimportant.
ago, but there
years
the
WOMEN
IN
is not
the
of
one
which
Cosson
Abbe
equal rigidnessin
IV.-ENOLISH
Lord
be
neglected by
with
the
another
was
many
observances
was
saucer,
Abbe
poor
which, if less dignified,
was
the
It
my
the
might
one
occurred
But
cut.
not
greatest fault of all.
yet that there
This
"
little of it into
poured a
committed
be
always
you
Behave.
TO
is
present day.
LIFE.
HIGH
familyconsists of his countess, his
eldest son
(abouteighteen or twenty. Lord Royston by
three of the finest-lookmg daughtersyou
ever
courtesy),
The
and
several
sons.
daughters Lady
saw,
younger
Hardwicke's
"
Elizabeth, Lady
beautiful
;
and
Mary,
such
Lady Agnita
development
laughing eyes, and unaffected
combined.
They take a great
and
aboard
came
Irish
shoes
cloaks
and
miles, and
soled
care
thingsthat
After
nightthey got
ladies
said
we
rustle
^
up
a
had
the
so
that
of
wet.
shock
our
with
wore,
and
They
steer
ever
knows
how
many
doing
a
ladies to death
;
elegant-looking
women,
1
ever
play and sing lor
game
I
or
see
exercise,
rain, besides
about
would
rarely
heavy rain,
a
Lord
the
diamonds,
and
the ladies
dinner
you
the most
yet in the parlorare
in their satin shoes
in
cheeks,
rosy
you
"
imperviousto
cent
a
ingly
surpass-
deal of out-door
than
yacht, walk
don't
such
"
manners
Merrimac,
almost
dresses
of other
host
and
thicker
father's
their
the
are
"
^
saw.
us,
and
*
*
the
*
other
in which
blind-man's-buff,
the
their
as
ticoats
petadvantage,inasmuch
easilycaught." They
they were
"
How
148
her
closingupon
Behave.
T.7
get my box fiLed at the
''just
same
time," divingwith her disengagedhand into the unknown
depthsof,seemingly,the most capaciousof pockets,
and bringingto lighta shiningblack box of sufficient size
to hold
all the jewels of a modern
belle.
I thought I
brought along my snufF-bladder,but I don't know where I
messenger,
''
head
put it,my
is
By this time
fairlyaroused,
so
stirred
up."
the little woman
in the
rocking-chairwas
and
she courteouslyoffered her seat
rising,
to the stranger, her accent
at once
betrayingher claim to
with the politest
of nations (a bow, on my part,
be ranked
to the fair foreignerin the group). With
a
prolonged
herself in the vacated
stare, the old woman
coollyensconced
seat, making not the slightest
acknowledgment of
the civility
she
had
received.
Presentlyshe began to
time.
at the same
The
groan, rocking herself furiously
occupant of the stuffed chair, who
former
window,
and
wooden
said
seats, hurried
she,
been
this
a
that
The
?"
you
"
herself
perched
you
to
in
wooden
of
one
the sufferer
clock-case
"
:
suffare ver' much
representativeof
had
a
I
inquiry,unless
might be construed
I do for
can
Yankeedom
might
for all the response
amiable
a
of
long row
fear,madame,''
vat
"
retired to
have
she made
to
her
rocking more
furiously
than ever
into a reply.
The
little Frenchwoman,
apparentlywholly unable to
class so
anomalous
a
specimen of humanity, cautiously
retreated.
Before
the
I
was
summoned
the- toothache
away,
snuff
seemed
together (both administered
to have
gradually produced
poured upon troubled waters.
The
sprightlyFrenchwoman
theater
"You
in
the
drops and
large doses)
effect
again ventured
oil
of
upon
the
of action.
find
yourself
now
much
improved, madame?'^
she
the
was
only
And
"
the
Another
of
feel
little
nod
No
"
BieUy
of
screamed
slight
very
nod
madame,
com-for-ta-hle
very
augmented
of
energy
do
can
which
voice.
the
justice
to
pertinacious
the
ecstasy
very
questioner
:
vil
?"
discernible.
mine
out
really
with
woman,
just
with
impatience
fauteuil
dis
was
intonation
actually
A
answer.
you
pursued
vivacity.
considerable
with
asked,
149
Anecdotes.
Illustrative
you
say
so,
if
you
'*
Henry
please
?''
Lunettes.'*^
now