1. society
2. work
3. retirement

MAKING
A
D I F FER E NC E
IN
B R I ST OL , C T
FEBRUARY 2015
IN THIS ISSUE:
ACP Mentoring Program ..................................... 1
Military Family Support Group ............................ 2
US Family Health Plan Q&A Session.................... 2
Dear Army Reserve Soldier,
As the Assistant Chief of the Army Reserve, I'd like to introduce you to a unique
private sector program which is available to assist you in advancing your civilian career
at no cost to you.
American Corporate Partners (ACP) is a nationwide non-profit organization which
pairs OIF/OEF/OND Veterans one-on-one with business leaders from many of the
largest companies in the country for mentoring, networking & career coaching. Senior
professionals from companies including Boeing, Fidelity, Hewlett Packard, GE, John
Deere, Visa and dozens of others are offering their assistance as you transition to a new
career, or take steps toward advancing in your current civilian job.
In the ACP program, Veterans & mentors work together over the course of a year and
focus on exploring career opportunities, translating military skills, preparing for
interviews, resume writing, networking, writing business plans, & much more. ACP
is not a "jobs program," rather it works to assist transitioning Soldiers who aim to
enter or who are already trying to advance in the private sector. The program is free
to you and is open to any Service Member or Veteran who has served post 9/11.
Thousands of Soldiers have already completed their year with ACP, and I encourage
you to take a look at this free ACP program. ACP has more than 500 corporate
mentorships available. To learn more, or to apply online, please visit
www.acp-usa.org/Mentoring. If you have questions, you may reach American
Corporate Partners at [email protected].
ASCC Bristol Suggestion Box .............................. 2
Military Awareness Group................................... 2
Service Providers Available at ASCC Bristol.......... 2
Private Public Partnership Office ......................... 2
CT Military Support Program ............................... 3
Military Saves Week........................................... 4
Why Saving for Retirement is so Important ........... 4
Be Money Wise at Tax Time................................. 5
Benefits of Paying off a Mortgage
before Retirement ............................................. 6
2015 New Year’s Resolution: End Binge Eating .... 7
Mental Health Resolution for 2015 ..................... 8
The Importance of Receiving Help ....................... 9
ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER
111 North Main Street, 1st Floor
Bristol, CT 06010
Fax: (860) 584-6263
DONNA M. DOGNIN
Contract Customer Support Coordinator
(860) 584-6258
[email protected]
SANDRA L. HOFFMAN
Contract Customer Support Coordinator
(860) 584-6257
[email protected]
OFFICE HOURS
Monday—Friday, 8am-5pm
Closed February 16
Thank you and your Families for continuing to serve our great Nation through your
support of & service in our U.S. Army Reserve! Twice the Citizen! - Army Strong!
BARBARA A. SISSON, P.E., SES
Assistant Chief, Army Reserve (ACAR)
The information presented in this newsletter is for informational awareness only and does not represent
endorsement, sponsorship, recommendation, or promotion of any commercial event(s), commercial names
or brands by the editors of this Newsletter, the Department of Defense, US Army, US Navy, US Air Force,
US Coast Guard, National Guard or Reserve, and the federal government. Usage of commercial or trade mark
names is for identification purposes only.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 1
Military Family Support Group
Military Awareness Group
Tuesday, February 3, 2015 | 6:30 PM - 8:00 PM
Armed Forces Reserve Center
375 Smith Street
Middletown, CT 06457
Tuesday, February 24, 2015 | 5:30 PM - 8:00 PM
Army Strong Community Center
111 North Main Street
Bristol, CT 06010
Support Group hosted by the CT National Guard Service
Member and Family Support Center.
For Service Members and their Families: Readjustment
counselor-led discussion group to help Service Members,
Veterans and Family Members recognize and be aware of
health issues that can occur with reintegration, with a
focus on the warning signs of PTSD and depression.
For more information or to find out about other support
groups throughout the state, call (800) 858-2677.
US Family Health Plan
Q & A Session
Tuesday, February 10, 2015 | 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM
Army Strong Community Center
111 North Main Street
Bristol, CT 06010
Session is for Military Retirees, Family Members of
Active Duty Service Members (i.e. Deploying), and
Recently Reintegrated Active Duty Members. Come
and speak with a representative of US Family Health
Plans, a TRICARE Prime option, and make sure you
have the health coverage that’s right for you.
For more information contact the ASCC Bristol.
ASCC Bristol
Suggestion Box
The ASCC Bristol Staff welcomes your suggestions about
what types of services and programs you would find
beneficial. We want to be able to provide articles in the
newsletter that you would find helpful and host speaker
forums on topics that are relevant to you and your
Families. Please forward any suggestions directly to the
Army Strong Community Center Staff.
Family members are invited to attend 5:30-6:30 PM;
Service Members / Veterans from 6:30-8:00 PM.
For more information and to register, contact the ASCC
Bristol by noon the day before the event so the Counselor
can prepare.
Service Providers Available
at ASCC Bristol
American Legion Department Service Officer
1st and 3rd Tuesdays | 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM
State of Connecticut, Department of Veterans
Affairs-Veterans Service Officer
3rd Wednesday | 9:30 AM - 3:00 PM
Employment Transition Coordinator
2nd and 4th Wednesdays | 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Call ASCC Bristol to schedule an appointment with
Service Providers.
Private Public Partnership Office
If you know Soldiers, Veterans or Spouses in New
England looking for work, call Ari Vogel at
(860) 570-7246 or email [email protected].
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 2
CT Military Support Program
The Connecticut Department of Mental Health and
Addiction Services offers outpatient counseling services,
information and referral, and transportation services to
Veterans (post-9/11), National Guard, Reserve
Members, and their Families through the Military
Support Program (“MSP”). It’s mission states, “a
program established for one purpose . . . to serve the
behavioral health needs of Connecticut Veterans,
including National Guard and Reserve Members and their
Families in communities where they live.”
Services are available to Reserve Members that
report to a unit within Connecticut.
Counseling services are free, confidential and locally
available. The MSP Call Center will work with you to
determine your counseling needs; provide you with the
name and contact information for three clinicians in your
community; and assist you in choosing the clinician that’s
right for you. The MSP program has 425 licensed
clinicians, located throughout the state, available to begin
working with you or your loved ones.
Behavioral Health Services Provided by MSP
Outreach within the National Guard and Reserve
Communities. MSP staff members participate in Yellow
Ribbon events. Selected clinicians from the statewide
MSP clinical panel actively participate by facilitating
workshops for Soldiers and their Families on topics such
as Anger Management, Redefining Roles in Relationships
and Substance Abuse.
24/7 Call Center to assure timely and appropriate
access to services. MSP outpatient counseling services are
accessed through the call center at (866) 251-2913.
Callers to the Center are provided the names and contact
information for three clinicians in their area from which
they may choose.
Embedded Clinician Program where MSP
clinicians, serving as Behavioral Health Advocates, lead
Service Members and families in open, honest discussion
about deployment health issues.
Outpatient Counseling Services that are free,
confidential, locally available to OEF/OIF Veterans,
National Guard/Reserve personnel and their families.
Community Case Management Services to assure
timely access to appropriate services.
Information, Referral and Advocacy to secure the
right benefits, right away. Such services include, but are
not limited to, information and referral regarding state
and federal veterans benefits and services, including
medical, mental health and substance abuse services, as
well as state and federal entitlement programs,
community-based recovery supports, peer support
opportunities, National Guard and Reserves Family
Programs, financial counseling, direct assistance
programs, housing, employment and training, and
educational activities and programs.
MSP Transportation Program Recognizing that many
OEF/OIF veterans are at risk of dropping out of
treatment, or are failing to access treatment, due to
transportation needs/costs, DMHAS established a
transportation assistance program to assure access and
continuity of treatment. Transportation for individuals
without ability to drive is provided by an existing
DMHAS-funded transportation initiative, Road 2
Recovery, operated by the Columbus House, Inc.
In addition to livery services, gas cards are provided to
veterans and family members who find themselves at risk
of dropping out of treatment due to high fuel costs. MSP
eligible veterans and family members must be
participating in outpatient counseling services with VA, a
Vet Center, or with an MSP clinician and they must be
referred for transportation assistance by their treating
clinician.
Recovery Support Services that include access to an
array of deployment health educational materials including books, DVDs and phone cards.
For more information, call the MSP Call Center at
(866) 251-2913 or go to www.ct.gov/dmhas/cwp/
view.asp?a=3833&q=453942.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 3
Military Saves Week
February 23 – February 28, 2015 has been designated
by the Department of Defense as Military Saves Week.
Military Saves is a social marketing campaign to
motivate, encourage and support Service Members and
Military Families to save money, reduce debt and build
wealth.
The financial readiness of Service Members and their
Families is a priority for the DOD. The Military Saves
program provides support and information to help
Service Members and their Families build their personal
savings and provide for their immediate and long-term
financial needs. Financial stability does not happen
overnight, but participation in Military Saves Week is a
starting point to help pay off debt and achieve financial
goals.
For more information, visit www.militarysaves.org.
Why Saving for Retirement
is so Important
Many join the military because it provides a steady
dependable paycheck. And if a service member stays in
for more than 20 years, the retirement pension is
guaranteed at a set and predictable rate. However, recent
events like a one percent pay raise for 2014, proposed
changes to the commissaries, and cuts to the COLA in
February that were later restored show how precarious
those guarantees are. It only takes one congressional vote
to create a change to the benefits packages offered when
signed up.
Like the old adage goes, the only guarantees in life are
death and taxes. For that reason, military families must
prepare for the worst, and hope for the best, and that
includes where your finances are concerned. A
retirement pension for military service does not negate
your responsibility to save for your retirement. Service
members should also make sure to sign up for the Thrift
Savings Plan (TSP), and utilize the Savings Deposit
Program (SDP) during deployments, as well as consider
opening a ROTH IRA. Using this strategy of taking out
several retirement accounts, known as diversification,
will ease your long term financial worries and burdens,
and provide you with a more peaceful and enjoyable
retirement. And don’t we all want that, especially after
living a military life?
On that note, I will point out that not everyone who joins
the service will stay in for 20 years or more. In fact, only
17% who serve end up making it to retirement. For this
reason, you should pay yourself first by putting 10% of
your income in a retirement account. The earlier you
start, the more money you will have at retirement,
because those first dollars grow the most.
It is also important for military spouses to save for
retirement. Spouses are the ones who keep the
checkbook balanced, and hold down the home front;
therefore savings is also for you! There is no reason why
all of the retirement and savings need to be in the service
member’s name, or in connection with his or her
employer, so make sure to get some savings in your name
too. Unplanned events and emergencies happen, and
facilitating your ability to take command of the ship if you
need to, is part of having a secure family. You deserve to
have assets, savings, and a nice credit score, too. These
are all important factors for long-term financial success.
Military Saves has a great motto: “Set a Goal. Make a
Plan. Save Automatically.” When you take the Military
Saves pledge, you will receive access to tools and
resources that will help you to learn how to be a smart
saver and make the most of your financial power. Visit
the website and learn more about how you can build your
family’s wealth today!
By Brooke Goldberg, Government Relations Deputy
Director, National Military Family Association
For more information, visit www.militarysaves.org.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 4
Be Money Wise at Tax Time
5 Ways to Spend Your Tax Refund Wisely
Tax season is here and after the gifting holidays, you
might be tempted to spend your entire refund on something you don’t really need like a new wardrobe, the
wide-screen TV you’ve been wanting, golf clubs, or
another non-necessity. It’s okay to spend a little for yourself, but being responsible about how you spend your
refund now will be a huge help in the months to come.
And don’t forget to use the 30-40-30 plan to pay for your
past, present, and future.
If you haven’t always spent your refund wisely in past
years, here are some tips to get you thinking wisely about
how to spend your refund in 2015:
1. Use 30% of your refund to pay down debt.
Using your refund to pay off high-interest debt, like
credit cards, is a responsible way to utilize the extra
money your refund check will bring. Paying off your debt
could save you hundreds of dollars in interest that you
would pay down the line. This is a great way to maximize
your refund dollars.
2. Put 30% of your refund in an emergency
savings account. From car maintenance and home
improvements to medical emergencies, an inconvenient
event is bound to come up in 2015, and you will want to
be financially prepared. Most car repairs, home
improvements, and medical procedures cost at least
$250, even with insurance. Military Saves recommends
saving at least $500 for emergencies, so consider using
part of your refund to open or add to your emergency
savings account.
3. Be strategic. Create a monthly spending plan and
write down how you will spend your tax refund throughout the year. If you divide the amount of money in your
tax refund over 12 months, it won’t be as easy to splurge
or spend your refund too quickly. Think of the new
clothes you need for your growing toddler or teen, the
braces your child may need, or paying for summer camp.
Even if you allow yourself a spa massage every month,
think of how much easier it would be to pay for it if you
put money away for it now. Being strategic about how
you will spend your money will make it easier to do it in
the future.
4. Start a ‘special occasion’ or holiday fund. How
many times has Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, or
your parent or child’s birthday snuck up on you and you
realize too late that you don’t have the finances you need
to pay for gifts? Special occasions are meant to be
celebratory, so avoid bringing stress to them by taking a
chunk of your tax refund and setting it aside to fund
future special events.
5. Consider giving back. When you are working to
make ends meet, the thought of putting money toward
anything other than your own bills or savings account
might be difficult. But think of the lesson it will teach
your kids, and the feeling it will give you to donate $5-10
a month to a local food pantry or shelter. Not only will
you will be helping your community, you will give yourself a tax write-off for the next year.
Making the wise decision to strategically plan how you
will spend your tax refund now will save you from
potential financial headaches that can come later. Taking
steps now before the tax season arrives will set in motion
smart financial practices that will not only help you at tax
season, but throughout the year. Learn more about saving
at tax time.
For more information, visit www.militarysaves.org.
www.militarysaves.org
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 5
Benefits of Paying Off a Mortgage
before Retirement
Homeowners are frequently curious whether they should
save for retirement or pay off their mortgages. The best
answer is to both save and pay off debt, but unfortunately
one answer doesn't cover all cases. Review these five
advantages to paying off a mortgage before entering into
retirement.
1. Reduce Retirement Expenses
Most obviously, homeowners preparing for retirement
want to minimize their expenses. Monthly mortgage
payments typically account for 25 percent of the owner’s
pre-retirement income, which is a lofty expense during
retirement. Without the burden of mortgage costs,
homeowners tend to feel more prepared to retire.
2. Save Costs of Interest
Paying off a mortgage before its 15- or 30-year term
saves the homeowner interest costs. Homeowners with
high interest rates who are close to paying off their
mortgages may not benefit from refinancing because of
expensive fees. However, aggressively paying off their
mortgages would save these owners interest costs, which
could then be applied toward retirement savings.
Homeowners with variable rates on their mortgages also
could benefit from paying off their loans early by saving
on potential hikes in interest rates.
3. Tax Deductible Interest Payments
When homeowners are approaching retirement, they
should save money as well as pay off debts. Many
homeowners think 401k contributions are more
profitable than paying off their mortgages, which may
be true if employers match contributions. However, tax
deductions may apply for interest payments on
mortgages, which also save owners money. Homeowners
should balance their current incomes to contribute to
their 401ks while paying down their loans.
4. Highest Profit When Downsizing
Often times older homeowners choose to downsize their
living quarters because large homes become more
difficult to navigate or clean. Downsizing near retirement
is common because sellers profit from their sale, applying
a portion of the funds toward a smaller property and the
remainder to retirement savings. The more equity the
owner has in the home, the more profit he or she will
receive upon the sale of the home. In other words, if the
owner stills owes several thousand dollars on a property,
he or she must pay the lender before pocketing the profit;
if the home is paid off, the owner has more funds for new
residency and retirement.
5. Spend less by paying off the mortgage
Often we mistake wants for needs and misspend our
income. Savers who make extra payments to pay off their
mortgages earlier increase their potential for a
comfortable retirement because they simply spent less
during their working years.
Although the general rule is home buyers can afford
mortgages worth 25 percent if their incomes, it assumes
their incomes don’t decline throughout the 30-year terms
of their loans. If home buyers are more aware of their
timelines for retirement, they’ll be more informed about
the best type of loan for them upon purchase. Just as
saving for retirement is a goal all working-aged
individuals should strive for, getting out of debt to reduce
expenses during retirement is equally important.
For more information, visit
www.militarysaves.org.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 6
2015 New Year's Resolution: End Binge Eating
A young Veteran has recently returned from a grueling deployment in Afghanistan. But his battles are far from over. When
his wife and kids go to sleep at night, he starts downing chips, cookies, beer and pretty much anything else he can find in the
refrigerator. It’s well after midnight before he finally hits the sack. The next morning he feels guilty and depressed. He tells
himself it won’t happen again. And to compensate for all the junk he consumed last night, he decides to skip breakfast.
Then he skips lunch. But as evening rolls around, he begins feeling irritable again. Unpleasant, invasive memories from his
time in Afghanistan make it hard to sleep. So he’s out of bed, heading for the refrigerator once again. And so it goes. “The
Veteran in this story is actually not a real person, but a composite of many patients I’ve worked with who have an eating
disorder,” said Dr. Robin Masheb, a research scientist with the Connecticut VA Healthcare System and the Yale School of
Medicine. “It’s a fairly typical scenario.” Masheb is currently conducting several studies on Veterans and binge eating.
“Binge eating disorder is officially recognized as the most prevalent eating disorder in the United States,” she said. “It may
disproportionately affect our military servicemen and women, exacting a heavy toll on their physical and mental health, and
placing a financial burden on our health care system. “Effective treatments for this disorder already exist,” she added, “but
we need to find ways to bring these treatments to Veterans who are suffering with this problem.”
A National Pastime. Masheb said indulging in food is a staple of American culture, which can sometimes make it difficult
for you to realize you might have an eating disorder. “What is not difficult to grasp, however, is that binge eating leads to
being overweight,” the researcher said. “We know being overweight significantly increases the likelihood of a range of
health issues, from heart disease to cancer. And those who binge eat are even more at risk for these diseases.” But that’s just
the tip of the iceberg.
“According to one study,” Masheb said, “overweight Veterans who binge eat have an approximately 60 percent greater
chance of having type 2 diabetes than overweight Veterans who don’t binge eat.” She said the same study found that
Veterans who were overweight and reported binge eating were also more likely to have coronary artery disease,
hypertension and high cholesterol. “They were also more likely to have substance abuse problems,” she said, “and to suffer
from mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder and
schizophrenia. “Binge eating,” she added, “also makes it more likely that weight loss attempts will be less successful.”
Hidden Epidemic. The researcher said a recent study of over 45,000 Veterans seeking weight loss treatment through the
Veterans Health Administration found that over 78 percent of them reported binge eating behavior. “Because so little
research has been done on eating behavior in Veterans, it’s difficult to know why this particular population suffers from
such high rates of binge eating,” she said. “It’s also unclear why male Veterans are more likely to binge eat than female
Veterans. In the civilian population, it’s the other way around. There’s a lot we need to find out about this.” Masheb said
there’s a range of behavioral, medical and self-help interventions that have proven effective for reducing or eliminating
binge eating. (For example, the VA’s weight management program known as ‘MOVE!’ may be one avenue for getting the
help you need.) “We have clinicians, therapists and other professionals here at the VA who can help,” Masheb pointed out,
“but Veterans who binge eat are a special subgroup. First we have to identify who they are. Then we have to identify the
best way to treat them. “Given how promising the potential treatments are,” she said, “it is well worth investing in this area
of research to improve the health of our Veterans.”
If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at (800) 931-2237. To
learn more about the MOVE! Weight Management Program for Veterans, visit VA’s National Center for Health Promotion
and Disease Prevention at www.move.va.gov.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 7
Mental Health Resolutions for 2015
Here's how to take care of your mind this New Year. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, our self-improvement efforts
often focus on getting a better body. And we ignore that other, equally important part of our wellbeing: our mental health.
Certain health hazards come with warnings, like cigarettes or alcohol, but less obvious ones, like loneliness and rejection, can
take just as great toll, says psychologist Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other
Everyday Hurts. Research shows social isolation is linked to shorter lifespans, yet we often ignore our emotional hygiene. “If our
dental hygiene were as poor as our emotional hygiene, we’d be all gums and no teeth,” says Winch. This year, prioritize your
mind as well as your body, and make a resolution for better mental health. Here are some of Winch’s tips for prioritizing your
emotional hygiene in the New Year (and all year long).
1. Pay attention to emotional pain. Psychological pain is much like physical pain. If something hurts for more than a few
days, you need to do something about it. If you experience rejection, failure, or a bad mood that lingers too long, don’t ignore it.
2. Take action when you feel lonely. Chronic loneliness is devastating to your emotional and physical health because it
increases your chances of an early death by 14%. Therefore, when you feel lonely, actions like reaching out to family
members, connecting with friends or joining a dating website can help. Make a list of people who you’ve been close to in the past
(use your phone book, social media friends, and email contacts) and reach out to one of them each day to chat or to make plans.
It will feel scary and risky to take those kinds of steps, but that’s what you need to do to break the cycle of disconnection and end
your emotional isolation.
3. Stop your emotional bleeding. Psychological wounds tend to create vicious cycles that get worse with time. Failure can
lead to feelings of helplessness that in turn can make you more likely to fail again in the future. To break the negative cycle of
failure, find ways to gain control of the situation. Our minds are not as reliable as we tend to think, so ignore misleading
feelings from your gut that tell you to give up, and focus on the aspects within your control, such as your preparation,
planning, effort and execution.
4. Protect your self-esteem. Your self-esteem is like an emotional immune system—it can increase your resilience and
protect you from stress and anxiety. Good emotional hygiene involves monitoring your self-esteem and boosting it when it’s
low. How? Avoid negative self-talk that damages it further—despite how tempting it might be to indulge these kinds of thoughts
at times.
5. Revive your self-worth after a rejection. It’s very common to be self-critical after you get rejected. It’s an unfortunate
reaction, since that’s when your self-esteem is already hurting. You’re most likely to call yourself names, list all your faults and
shortcomings and generally kick yourself when you’re already down. The most important thing you can do after getting rejected
is to treat yourself with the same compassion you would treat a good friend. Make sure your inner voice is kind, understanding
and supportive.
6. Battle negative thinking. When something upsetting happens, it’s natural to brood over it. But replaying the scene over
and over in your mind will not give you much insight or closure. The best way to break a brooding cycle is to distract yourself
with a task that requires concentration, like a game on your cell phone, a quick run or a crossword puzzle.
7. Be informed on the impact of common psychological wounds and how to treat them. You know how to treat a
cut or a cold, so you should also know how to treat rejection, failure, loneliness, guilt and other common emotional wounds. By
becoming mindful about your psychological health and adopting habits of good emotional hygiene, you will not only heal your
psychological injuries when you sustain them, but you will elevate your entire quality of life.
Article published by Alexandra Sifferlin, Reporter for TIME Magazine.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 8
The Importance of
Receiving Help
When Your Soldier is Deployed
and How to Ask for It
Sometimes the act of asking for help can be more difficult
than just doing the task yourself. Military families are not
strangers to adjusting family roles and taking on extra
responsibilities, especially during times of deployment.
Asking for help and allowing yourself to receive help can
be two of the most challenging aspects of adjusting your
life while your Soldier is deployed. There are several
reasons why it is important to share your burdens, and
ways to go about it that won’t leave you feeling helpless
or alone.
Why Accept Help?
Whether you are the spouse, sibling, child, or parent of a
Soldier, your life alters when your Soldier is deployed.
The contributions your Soldier would typically make at
home, both tangible and emotional, can’t easily be
replaced. However, allowing those around you to help
you not only eases your responsibility load, but it can give
someone who is helping a feeling of contributing to more
than just your family. For those people without loved
ones in the military, assisting those who do have Soldiers
in their lives can be one way they are able to support
military families and the troops. Perhaps one of the
biggest reasons of all, though, why accepting help is a
positive thing, is that it will give peace of mind to your
Soldier to know that you are not alone and that you are
supported.
How Can You Ask for Help and Receive It?
First and foremost, don’t just dismiss offers of help or
generosity. You don’t need to accept on the spot, but you
can let the person know that you appreciate the kindness
and that there might be a time in the future when you
need the help. You can even ask what the best way is to
get a hold of them – phone, email, or other – so that if
the need arises you have some way of reaching them and
accepting help.
When someone says, “Let me know if there is anything I
can do,” you might be tempted to shout, “Make this
deployment over today!” However, try to refrain asking
nearly the impossible, and instead find some little ways
that others might help ease your stress level. These things
might be:

Drive the kids to practice one day a week.
 Provide a meal one day a week.
 Help with a home maintenance project, even as
simple as rearranging furniture.
 Assist with yard work.
 Help with pet care – walking the dog and checking
in on pets can be ways for even kids to help share the
responsibilities at home.
 Be available to listen to the stress so you don’t have
to dump on the kids or someone who is going
through the same stresses as you are already.
 The list goes on and on!
You can even keep a list handy of “one time” things that
you need help with that normally your Soldier would be
there to do. Keep another list of people who you know
are willing to help with certain tasks, and one more list of
people who have simply offered to do anything. Even
though you might never call upon these people, having
the tangible proof that you are surrounded by support can
ease stress.
It is important to remember that even if someone hasn’t
offered to help, it doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t
ask. Sometimes people are just waiting for the invitation
because they don’t want to offend you and present an
image that they don’t think you are capable.
Asking for help is not easy for most people, but if we can
pay it forward and offer help to others, sometimes that
action allows us to accept help at some point in our own
lives. In the end it is much better to swallow a little
pride, accept the generosity of friends and strangers alike,
and take care of yourself as your Soldier would want to
be able to take care of you.
If you need help, contact the ASCC.
BRISTOL ARMY STRONG COMMUNITY CENTER NEWSLETTER | FEBRUARY 2015 | PAGE 9