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STICK WITH
ACCEPTANCE
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How do you decide what’s not worth
arguing about?
QUESTION
#1
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#BSFLacceptance
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THE POINT
Strong relationships are not hindered by
differences of opinion.
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
In a perfect world:
Everyone would agree with me.
Everyone would bring up their kids like I do.
Everyone would vote for the candidates I endorse.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. People don’t always
see eye-to-eye. So the question for each of us is: how should we
behave when we disagree?
In the Book of Romans, Paul taught us to remain humble when
we have differences of opinions. Clearly, there are times we need
to stand our ground. But Paul helps us see where to draw the line.
Paul’s instructions guide us to maintain strong relationships in spite
of differences and disagreements.
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WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Romans 14:1-4,13-19 (HCSB)
1 Accept anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about
doubtful issues.
2 One person believes he may eat anything, but one who is weak eats
only vegetables.
3 One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and
one who does not eat must not criticize one who does, because God
has accepted him.
4 Who are you to criticize another’s household slave? Before his own
Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand. For the Lord is able to make
him stand.
13 Therefore, let us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide
never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother’s way.
Unclean (v. 14)—The Old
Testament law made a sharp
distinction between foods
that were clean (acceptable
for consumption) and those
that were unclean. As Paul had
learned, those distinctions had
been removed after the death
and resurrection of Christ.
Destroy (v. 15)—Refers to
causing spiritual damage
by encouraging fellow
Christians to ignore or violate
their consciences.
14 (I know and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus that nothing is
unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean,
to that one it is unclean.)
15 For if your brother is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer
walking according to love. Do not destroy that one Christ died for by
what you eat.
16 Therefore, do not let your good be slandered,
17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but
righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
18 Whoever serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and
approved by men.
19 So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up
one another.
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THE POINT
Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion.
Romans 14:1-4
Romans 14 indicates rival groups were popping up inside the
church. Members were joining forces according to their personal
persuasions and preferences. This division was wrong and out of
place, especially since they were arguing over petty things. They
were arguing over foods and festivals: What foods should we eat—
and not eat? What days should we celebrate on our calendar?
Paul later referred to these two groups as the weaker and the
stronger (see Rom. 15:1). What made one group stronger was their
spiritual maturity; they rightly understood Christian liberty. They
understood that whether a person ate meat or only vegetables
and what day another person considered holy did not point to
disobedience or a lack of love and commitment to Christ.
The “weaker” party included Christians who had grown up week after
week with rules and practices that were deeply ingrained. Some may
also have come from pagan backgrounds and thus believed the food
sold in the markets was corrupt. These believers were every bit as saved
as the “stronger” believers. They were committed followers of Christ,
but their consciences kept them from embracing new freedoms.
Both groups were guilty of a critical spirit. Rather than running each
other down and resenting one another’s positions, Paul challenged
them to accept each other. That word “accept” carries the idea of
welcoming other people and being generous toward them. The
world defines acceptance as a full affirmation, even endorsement, of a
person’s beliefs and practices. The Bible doesn’t use the word “accept”
as a command to condone sin. Instead, it’s the desire to stay close
relationally, even when two or more parties see things differently.
In Romans 14, Paul was addressing “gray areas” in the Christian life.
Still, in verse 4, he made it plain that each of us will have to answer
to God for the way we live. God isn’t going to ask you what you
thought about another person’s actions. God is the Lord and Judge
over your neighbors—not you.
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Why is it so tempting
to pick apart the
opinions of others?
QUESTION
#2
What current issues
provide opportunities
for Christ followers
to treat one another
with patience and
understanding?
QUESTION
#3
GRAY AREAS
Seeking common ground is necessary for handling differences of opinion. How could followers
of Jesus establish common ground in the midst of these disagreements? Choose two.
A husband and wife have different opinions on the best way to discipline their child.
Several members of a congregation dislike the song selections and style of their new
worship pastor.
Two friends disagree on whether it’s acceptable for Christians to purchase luxury automobiles.
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THE POINT
Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion.
Romans 14:13-15
Paul didn’t let the “stronger” group off the hook completely. He
challenged these believers not to be insensitive and flaunt their
freedoms. He commanded them to avoid offending others: “Let
us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide never to put a
stumbling block or pitfall in your brother’s way” (v. 13).
Before my kids were old enough to pick up after themselves, they
would leave their blocks, cars, and assorted jagged toys scattered
across the floor. It only took one disastrous trip to the fridge in the
dark for me to realize the pain of a stumbling block. Ouch!
Of course, I couldn’t be angry at my baby boys for causing me to eat
carpet. They didn’t know any better. Unfortunately, many Christians
are fully aware they’re putting down stumbling blocks. They know
some Christians see a particular activity as offensive, but they don’t
care. They’re going to do it anyway.
Out of respect for others, mature Christians will restrict their freedom,
removing anything from their lives that would cause others to feel
wounded in their conscience. Our personal relationships should
trump our personal freedoms.
In other words, the strong should move toward the weak.
Maybe you’re wondering, Isn’t it wrong to compromise my values
because of what others think? That’s a good question, but that’s not
what Paul is advocating in these verses. Whenever we consider the
needs and consciences of others as we make adjustments to our
lives, we’re demonstrating maturity more than compromise.
We’re rightly placing relationships on a higher priority than mere
differences of opinion.
How do you
balance enjoying
your freedom and
avoiding stumbling
blocks?
QUESTION
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#4
"Therefore don't worry about tomorrow,
because tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own ."
— M AT T H E W 6: 3 4
Romans 14:16-19
So, what should be the main focus of believers? The kingdom of God. Paul wrote, “For the kingdom of
God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit” (v. 17). We serve
Christ when we:
Don’t give priority attention to trivial things.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matt. 6:33).
Keep the cause of Christ in full view and refuse to “major on the minors.”
Verse 19 is particularly helpful in completing this thought: “So then, we must pursue what promotes
peace and what builds up one another.” We’re called to wear the badge of a servant. Again, we are
talking about preferences and differences of opinion. There may be occasions when we must make a
clear moral and biblical stand—and that stand could cause division. Yet even then, we must stand for
truth in a loving way, keeping unity in mind as a high priority.
Scripture compels us to do our part to preserve relationships. The kingdom of God is about “righteousness,
peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” May we promote these truths in our families and in our churches, may
we never surrender to differences of opinion, and may we never give up on the hope of healing.
How does serving Christ in this way change how we
approach disagreements?
QUESTION
© 2014 LifeWay
#5
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THE POINT
Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion.
LIVE IT OUT
What will you do to build relationships in spite of any differences
of opinion? Consider the following suggestions:
Extend grace. Be on the lookout for those whose actions
go against your convictions, and choose to forgive. Seek a
relationship rather than standing in judgment.
Let go. If your habit or preference has become a stumbling
block for someone you care about, let it go.
Agree to disagree. Seek a meeting with someone who
disagrees with you on an important issue. Voice your desire
to maintain your relationship with that person in spite of your
differing opinions.
Your relationships are more important than your opinions. Love
Christ by loving other people more than loving your rights
or opinions. Doing so is a big step toward a more perfect world.
Modeling a Healthy Marriage
Modeling a
Healthy Marriage
By Jeffrey Reed
The issue is not
that we should
avoid letting kids
observe conflict,
arguments, or
disagreements.
The issue is that
we often allow
our emotions
to control our
actions instead
of the Holy Spirit.
I
’m not a perfect dad. If you
asked my kids about me, they’d
probably say good things,
but they would all agree that I’m
not perfect. Each of my four kids
has seen my wife and me at our
best and at our worst. They know
we’re flawed. Hold that thought …
because that’s where we need to
live. We’re flawed.
What if I told you that it’s in our
state of messiness, our constant
desire to appear like we have it
together, and our inability to be
perfect that we can actually become
great parents? Our kids might also
become great adults. The fact is,
we aren’t perfect. Our kids already
know this. Live with this idea as a
catalyst for the grace of Christ in the
midst of your family.
But how much “dirt” do we let
our kids see? Do we let our kids see
conflict in our marriage? If so, to
what extent? What does it mean
to “model” a healthy marriage and
what is the impact on our kids?
This topic could probably be
unpacked throughout a 30-chapter
book. However, here are a few basics
principles to get us going.
Know the model
First, read Ephesians 5:21-33. This
section of Scripture doesn’t need a
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ParentLife February 2014
lot of explaining. It’s the model for
a healthy marriage. It’s a simple,
straightforward strategy for winning the game. But the fact is, it’s
just hard to do. We’re all underdogs
against our own sinful natures in
the midst of a fallen world that
seeks to defeat and destroy the
family. Everyone loves an underdog
though, even our kids. They need to
see us wrestle with the difficulty of
being obedient to this passage. But
wrestle we must.
Read Ephesians 5:21-33. No, this
isn’t a typo. Just read it again. Repeat
daily as needed.
The posture of service presented
in this passage is one that we can
take into almost any relationship.
Do we submit to the authority of
our parents? Are we servants at our
churches? Do we balance strength
with humility? Your kids need to
see this.
Conflict & Resolution
Next, your children should see
conflict and resolution. This idea
gets push-back from many, even
in the Christian community. It’s
interesting to note that Jesus never
“took people aside” to “work things
out.” He allowed things to unfold in
the midst of many eyes and ears.
Furthermore, it’s interesting to
facebook.com/parentlife
I’m not a perfect dad. If you asked my kids about me, they’d probably say good
things, but they would all agree that I’m not perfect. Each of my four kids has
seen my wife and me at our best and at our worst. They know we’re flawed.
Hold that thought … because that’s where we need to live. We’re flawed. What
if I told you that it’s in our state of messiness, our constant desire to appear
like we have it together, and our inability to be perfect that we can actually
become great parents? Our kids might also become great adults. The fact is,
we aren’t perfect.
To continue reading “Modeling a Healthy Marriage” from Parent Life
magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles.
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My g roup's prayer requests
My thoughts
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