SESSION 6 STICK WITH ACCEPTANCE 136 SESSION 6 © 2014 LifeWay How do you decide what’s not worth arguing about? QUESTION #1 © 2014 LifeWay #BSFLacceptance BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 137 THE POINT Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion. THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE In a perfect world: Everyone would agree with me. Everyone would bring up their kids like I do. Everyone would vote for the candidates I endorse. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. People don’t always see eye-to-eye. So the question for each of us is: how should we behave when we disagree? In the Book of Romans, Paul taught us to remain humble when we have differences of opinions. Clearly, there are times we need to stand our ground. But Paul helps us see where to draw the line. Paul’s instructions guide us to maintain strong relationships in spite of differences and disagreements. 138 SESSION 6 © 2014 LifeWay WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? Romans 14:1-4,13-19 (HCSB) 1 Accept anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about doubtful issues. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, but one who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not criticize one who does, because God has accepted him. 4 Who are you to criticize another’s household slave? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand. For the Lord is able to make him stand. 13 Therefore, let us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother’s way. Unclean (v. 14)—The Old Testament law made a sharp distinction between foods that were clean (acceptable for consumption) and those that were unclean. As Paul had learned, those distinctions had been removed after the death and resurrection of Christ. Destroy (v. 15)—Refers to causing spiritual damage by encouraging fellow Christians to ignore or violate their consciences. 14 (I know and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean.) 15 For if your brother is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy that one Christ died for by what you eat. 16 Therefore, do not let your good be slandered, 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another. © 2014 LifeWay BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 139 THE POINT Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion. Romans 14:1-4 Romans 14 indicates rival groups were popping up inside the church. Members were joining forces according to their personal persuasions and preferences. This division was wrong and out of place, especially since they were arguing over petty things. They were arguing over foods and festivals: What foods should we eat— and not eat? What days should we celebrate on our calendar? Paul later referred to these two groups as the weaker and the stronger (see Rom. 15:1). What made one group stronger was their spiritual maturity; they rightly understood Christian liberty. They understood that whether a person ate meat or only vegetables and what day another person considered holy did not point to disobedience or a lack of love and commitment to Christ. The “weaker” party included Christians who had grown up week after week with rules and practices that were deeply ingrained. Some may also have come from pagan backgrounds and thus believed the food sold in the markets was corrupt. These believers were every bit as saved as the “stronger” believers. They were committed followers of Christ, but their consciences kept them from embracing new freedoms. Both groups were guilty of a critical spirit. Rather than running each other down and resenting one another’s positions, Paul challenged them to accept each other. That word “accept” carries the idea of welcoming other people and being generous toward them. The world defines acceptance as a full affirmation, even endorsement, of a person’s beliefs and practices. The Bible doesn’t use the word “accept” as a command to condone sin. Instead, it’s the desire to stay close relationally, even when two or more parties see things differently. In Romans 14, Paul was addressing “gray areas” in the Christian life. Still, in verse 4, he made it plain that each of us will have to answer to God for the way we live. God isn’t going to ask you what you thought about another person’s actions. God is the Lord and Judge over your neighbors—not you. 14 0 SESSION 6 © 2014 LifeWay Why is it so tempting to pick apart the opinions of others? QUESTION #2 What current issues provide opportunities for Christ followers to treat one another with patience and understanding? QUESTION #3 GRAY AREAS Seeking common ground is necessary for handling differences of opinion. How could followers of Jesus establish common ground in the midst of these disagreements? Choose two. A husband and wife have different opinions on the best way to discipline their child. Several members of a congregation dislike the song selections and style of their new worship pastor. Two friends disagree on whether it’s acceptable for Christians to purchase luxury automobiles. © 2014 LifeWay BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 141 THE POINT Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion. Romans 14:13-15 Paul didn’t let the “stronger” group off the hook completely. He challenged these believers not to be insensitive and flaunt their freedoms. He commanded them to avoid offending others: “Let us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother’s way” (v. 13). Before my kids were old enough to pick up after themselves, they would leave their blocks, cars, and assorted jagged toys scattered across the floor. It only took one disastrous trip to the fridge in the dark for me to realize the pain of a stumbling block. Ouch! Of course, I couldn’t be angry at my baby boys for causing me to eat carpet. They didn’t know any better. Unfortunately, many Christians are fully aware they’re putting down stumbling blocks. They know some Christians see a particular activity as offensive, but they don’t care. They’re going to do it anyway. Out of respect for others, mature Christians will restrict their freedom, removing anything from their lives that would cause others to feel wounded in their conscience. Our personal relationships should trump our personal freedoms. In other words, the strong should move toward the weak. Maybe you’re wondering, Isn’t it wrong to compromise my values because of what others think? That’s a good question, but that’s not what Paul is advocating in these verses. Whenever we consider the needs and consciences of others as we make adjustments to our lives, we’re demonstrating maturity more than compromise. We’re rightly placing relationships on a higher priority than mere differences of opinion. How do you balance enjoying your freedom and avoiding stumbling blocks? QUESTION 142 SESSION 6 © 2014 LifeWay #4 "Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own ." — M AT T H E W 6: 3 4 Romans 14:16-19 So, what should be the main focus of believers? The kingdom of God. Paul wrote, “For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit” (v. 17). We serve Christ when we: Don’t give priority attention to trivial things. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matt. 6:33). Keep the cause of Christ in full view and refuse to “major on the minors.” Verse 19 is particularly helpful in completing this thought: “So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” We’re called to wear the badge of a servant. Again, we are talking about preferences and differences of opinion. There may be occasions when we must make a clear moral and biblical stand—and that stand could cause division. Yet even then, we must stand for truth in a loving way, keeping unity in mind as a high priority. Scripture compels us to do our part to preserve relationships. The kingdom of God is about “righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” May we promote these truths in our families and in our churches, may we never surrender to differences of opinion, and may we never give up on the hope of healing. How does serving Christ in this way change how we approach disagreements? QUESTION © 2014 LifeWay #5 BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 143 THE POINT Strong relationships are not hindered by differences of opinion. LIVE IT OUT What will you do to build relationships in spite of any differences of opinion? Consider the following suggestions: Extend grace. Be on the lookout for those whose actions go against your convictions, and choose to forgive. Seek a relationship rather than standing in judgment. Let go. If your habit or preference has become a stumbling block for someone you care about, let it go. Agree to disagree. Seek a meeting with someone who disagrees with you on an important issue. Voice your desire to maintain your relationship with that person in spite of your differing opinions. Your relationships are more important than your opinions. Love Christ by loving other people more than loving your rights or opinions. Doing so is a big step toward a more perfect world. Modeling a Healthy Marriage Modeling a Healthy Marriage By Jeffrey Reed The issue is not that we should avoid letting kids observe conflict, arguments, or disagreements. The issue is that we often allow our emotions to control our actions instead of the Holy Spirit. I ’m not a perfect dad. If you asked my kids about me, they’d probably say good things, but they would all agree that I’m not perfect. Each of my four kids has seen my wife and me at our best and at our worst. They know we’re flawed. Hold that thought … because that’s where we need to live. We’re flawed. What if I told you that it’s in our state of messiness, our constant desire to appear like we have it together, and our inability to be perfect that we can actually become great parents? Our kids might also become great adults. The fact is, we aren’t perfect. Our kids already know this. Live with this idea as a catalyst for the grace of Christ in the midst of your family. But how much “dirt” do we let our kids see? Do we let our kids see conflict in our marriage? If so, to what extent? What does it mean to “model” a healthy marriage and what is the impact on our kids? This topic could probably be unpacked throughout a 30-chapter book. However, here are a few basics principles to get us going. Know the model First, read Ephesians 5:21-33. This section of Scripture doesn’t need a 8 ParentLife February 2014 lot of explaining. It’s the model for a healthy marriage. It’s a simple, straightforward strategy for winning the game. But the fact is, it’s just hard to do. We’re all underdogs against our own sinful natures in the midst of a fallen world that seeks to defeat and destroy the family. Everyone loves an underdog though, even our kids. They need to see us wrestle with the difficulty of being obedient to this passage. But wrestle we must. Read Ephesians 5:21-33. No, this isn’t a typo. Just read it again. Repeat daily as needed. The posture of service presented in this passage is one that we can take into almost any relationship. Do we submit to the authority of our parents? Are we servants at our churches? Do we balance strength with humility? Your kids need to see this. Conflict & Resolution Next, your children should see conflict and resolution. This idea gets push-back from many, even in the Christian community. It’s interesting to note that Jesus never “took people aside” to “work things out.” He allowed things to unfold in the midst of many eyes and ears. Furthermore, it’s interesting to facebook.com/parentlife I’m not a perfect dad. If you asked my kids about me, they’d probably say good things, but they would all agree that I’m not perfect. Each of my four kids has seen my wife and me at our best and at our worst. They know we’re flawed. Hold that thought … because that’s where we need to live. We’re flawed. What if I told you that it’s in our state of messiness, our constant desire to appear like we have it together, and our inability to be perfect that we can actually become great parents? Our kids might also become great adults. The fact is, we aren’t perfect. To continue reading “Modeling a Healthy Marriage” from Parent Life magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles. 14 4 SESSION 6 © 2014 LifeWay My g roup's prayer requests My thoughts © 2014 LifeWay BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 145
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