1 Victory Outreach Brooklyn Manual for small groups Top reasons why small groups fail: 1. The leadership is not convinced about them – This is usually due to a faulty theology of small groups, prior failures, lack of experience with them, or a lack of biblical understanding about them. 2. They aren’t given the adequate time needed to succeed – ministries will generally go through a series of humps before succeeding. It’s during these humps that many churches abandon the plan concluding that “they don’t work”. Just like nothing fails overnight, nothing succeeds overnight either. 3. There is a lack of adequate training and/or oversight – This system needs to have on going training and proper oversight if it’s to succeed. You cannot just launch without training, or expect success without continual retraining and proper oversight. 4. The cell system is in an embryonic stage and not fully developed – Many times the system is still within a trail and error period, and when the leadership is unsure of how to proceed, they usually take a dip. During these times, the need to refocus, and regroup is necessary. Cell systems will usually flop a couple of times before the “right” system for the culture of your church is discovered. 5. The cell group is seen as another “option” – Many things compete with them and they are not promoted and kept before the people. A church needs to create a small group culture. Nelson Searcy says, “If you give people too may options, they will be so spread out that you won’t have there full participation in any one area.” 6. The church is not mobilized through them – In a church of successful small groups, most of the ministry is mobilized through them. Examples: food sales, picnics, events, sign-ups, dinners, holiday events and outings, etc 7. They aren’t being properly promoted- People need to know how to get involved, the bulletins should have directories, and pews should have 1 2 connection cards and forwarded to cell group leaders, and as a church grows the pulpit becomes more indispensable. The Vision for Small groups Small groups are not a new method, but rather a very biblical method that is structured in the Word of God. It is therefore very important that the church as a whole, beginning with its leadership, understand the concept of small groups from a biblical, yet practical, point of view. The Jethro Principal (Exodus 18:13-23) In this story, we see what the people of God do by nature when they are facing problems….come to the pastor! When we see Moses, we see that to him this was something very natural. And being it natural to Moses, the people became accustomed to this as “normal”. Some observations here: a. It wasn’t enough for Moses to be anointed – We never see the concept of a lone ranger leader in the bible, yet this is exactly what Moses was doing. He wasn’t failing because of a lack of anointing, but rather was failing because of a lack of structure, or government. Structure is necessary because the calling of God is always much bigger than one man. b. It wasn’t good for either Moses or for the people that he pastor alone- Apart from suffering personally, Moses was doing his people more harm than good in trying to shepherd them alone. If people see that there is no leader available for them, they will wait until their problems are so big that only a miracle of God can bail them out before seeking out biblical counsel from a leader. Others will simply give up upon seeing that the pastor is too “busy”. We must also consider the state of mind of Moses in ministering to people all day. Can we assume that the quality of counsel that the first person received was the same quality that the last person of the day received, when Moses was fatigued and not thinking clearly any longer? c. Jethro gave Moses a list of priorities- (v19) - He told him his primary function was prayer. Yet he also made it clear that this lifestyle of prayer was to be accompanied by a structure to pastor the people. d. He suggested to Moses corporal instruction- (v20) .There were three things Moses was to teach the people corporally. 1. The laws of God, 2. The way-This deals more with practical daily living, and 3. The work that needed to be done. This deals more with ministry and service to God. 2 3 e. He suggested that Moses appoint leaders that would enforce in smaller groups what Moses was teaching corporately, at a larger level- One of the principal functions of a small group is to enforce, or re-enforce the flow and direction of the ministry at a much smaller level. This keeps the church in one direction and solidifies what is being transmitted as far as vision casting and direction go. The Ministry of Jesus Jesus showed us the same principles in the feeding of the five thousand. (Mark 6:33-34, Luke 9:14-15). This feeding would have been impossible for one man to do effectively. Therefore, in preparation for this, Jesus instructed his disciples to have the people lay down in groups of 50 and 100’s, and then upon blessing the food, he gave it to the disciples, so that they, in turn, could feed the people. Notice that Jesus did not do it alone, even though in his omnipotence, he could have. Jesus did it through people, his disciples, he chose a structure. The same is true for the church. If we are to ‘feed” the people, it is through people feeding people. It’s not a one man thing, but rather a system. Small groups are that system. Primitive Church In the book of acts, once again we see this system in place. Acts 6:7 shows us that as the church was growing, people began to complain that their needs were not being met. Rather than trying to meet the needs themselves, the apostles affirmed the words of Jethro saying that it was their priority to be in prayer and the word, but did not leave it at that, rather they appointed a group of people to minister to these needs at a smaller level. The primitive church quickly learned that many hands make the load a lot lighter, and that many people doing the ministry is a God approach to successful ministry. Conclusion Growth represents people, and people represent needs. The job of the church is not only to attract and reach people, but rather to reach, and plant these people. However, this cannot be done without a purposeful system, or structure that makes room for those who are being added to the kingdom daily. Although small groups are not a cause for growth in themselves, they are however, part of a structure that facilitates growth in that it enables the church to minister on a broader scale. 3 4 THE TRADITIONAL CHURCH MODEL VS. THE NEW TESTAMENT CHURCH MODEL In order for something to work, we must believe that it will work. Many times people attempt to establish a small group system when they have yet to be convinced it can work. Others believe they will work, but do not understand how they work, and therefore copy a model only to see it fail because of a lack of understanding. Many times we struggle to implement an effective small group system because we are accustomed to doing church a certain way, especially if we have a churched background. Here we see some of the key differences in how the traditional church has drifted from the biblical church model. NEW TESTAMENT CHURCH TRADITIONAL PLACE House to house Buildings SIZE OF GROUP small intimate large impersonal ACTIVITIES daily fellowship weekly services SUPPORT SYSTEM one anothering see the pastor RELATIONSHIPS personal DISCIPLESHIP one on one EXPECTATIONS ministry to others MOTTO Go and make…. MATURITY How you serve superficial classroom assistance alone Come we’re here what you know 4 5 15 Convictions of Small Group Ministry 1. They provide a multiple entrances to the church – many people will not consider going to a church service, but will consider visiting the home of someone they know. We believe that every cell group that opens up is one more entrance to the life of the church. For a church to grow it needs to expand its capacity to retain people, small groups are a way to do this. 2. They connect people – small groups offer an atmosphere that is conducive to connecting people first of all, 1. To themselves, 2. To God, 3. To church, 4. To others. Think about it, what other ministry in the church can do this so effectively? Being that the small group offers a place of expressing doubts, asking questions, knowing people, and acceptance and love, people are more likely to connect in these four areas here than in a Sunday service. 3. Means of evangelism – the bible speaks clearly about every believers (oikos), or circle of influence. Acts 10:24 says that Cornelius offered his home and gathered his best friends and relatives, and that Peter then preached and saw the conversion of people to Christ. Another strength of the small group and evangelism is that you can evangelize the immediate area of the small group effectively. 4. They facilitate the accomplishment of the great commission(Mathew 28:19-20) – Shows us that God wants us to not only get decisions, but to produce disciples. Small groups keep new believers accountable and closer, both of these qualities enhancing the effects of disciplemaking. 5. They destroy the myth of the “Holy Man” – small groups release believers for the work of the ministry. A great problem in the church today is believers who feel that they aren’t good enough, or they can’t perform the way the pastor does. Small groups however break this myth because they bring ministry down to the lowest level possible. The dynamics of a small group ministry are the following: The church is de-centralized from the pastor-(pastor is no longer the center) Members are fulfilled as they minister Leaders are now purposefully driven to study, to pray, to fast, to grow. 5 6 The burden is now shifted from pastor to people- Now they see it as “we have to visit, we have to grow,” 6. They provide a platform to cultivate personal relationships- Any seasoned church growth expert will tell you that relationships are the glue that keep a church together. It’s not doctrine, the pastor, denomination, etc….its relationships. There are three types of relationships that we all need as we grow in the Lord: a. Paul- these are our relationships to our leaders. Small group ministry builds this relationship because cell members are practicing a submission to a leader who is not the pastor. b. Barnabus- these are relationships with colleagues. Many Christians suffer here. They get along with a leader because they respect him or her, they get along with the new person because they don’t see them as a threat, but they struggle with colleagues because he’s at the same level. c. Timothy – These are relationships with those under us…our disciples. A famous military general said, “A mans character is not measured by how he treats his superiors, but rather by how he treats those under him” 7. They accelerate spiritual growth in people- Studies show that people develop in an atmosphere of mutual accountability much quicker than they do in a private or unaccountable environment. The law of 10-10-80 says that 80% of people will only change in an atmosphere of mutual accountability. 8. They assist in the development of leaders – There is not a more fertile soil to develop leaders in than in small groups. There are many muscles that a classroom does not stretch. When a leader is faced with people issues, problem solving, decision making, responding to criticism, etc, he is exercising leadership muscles that are not found in a classroom. At the same time the leader learns to understand his pastor better. 9. They multiply the size of the church – The more an organization expands its base the higher it can build. Small groups not only provide an additional entrance to the church, but they contribute in expanding the overall base of the church, which lets us build higher by going wider. 6 7 10. They produce mothers and fathers in the Lord- (1 Corinthians 4:15) speaks to us about parenting in the Lord. Although the pastors of a church are considered the spiritual “father and mother”, there is a need for biblical examples of fathers and mothers who can Shepherd the people. 11. They destroy the “Holy Place” Myth- Small groups structure the church for growth in that they not only decentralize the man at the center, but they also decentralize the place at the center. Ministry will be far more effective when the congregation understands that ministry is not bound to four walls. As a matter of fact, a truly healthy ministry will conduct a greater part of its ministry outside church walls, and outside church times and schedules. A small group lets a church grow without limits because there is no space issues, if a home fills up, we open another one, there is no transportation issues, we open them in the neighborhoods where people don’t have to travel far, there is no time limits, ministry can take place 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and there are no money issues, no more rents to pay, or costs to put out. 12. They position the church for growth- the dynamics which take place in small group life, shepherding people, evangelizing, dealing with problems, discipleship, etc, produce an atmosphere which attracts growth. A church with small groups has dynamics that make it attractive that cannot be produced any other way. 13. They help keep members active- being that groups are high accountability, high visibility, and encourage people to serve, members are inclined to maintain themselves involved even in the midst of life’s storms. 14. They aid in closing the back door of the church – Small groups are a powerful weapon in the retention of new members. Studies show that 85% of new members will fade off in the space of a year if they do not find a significant person or persons with whom they can connect. It’s important that both the pastor and leadership understand that, that significant person may not always be the pastor. 15. They release the pastor to focus on his priorities- (Exodus 18:19, Acts 6:1) – The pastor should not be overloaded in dealing with issues that could have been dealt with at a much lower level. 7 8 DEFINITION, PHILOSHOPHY, AND THE FIVE PURPOSES OF OUR SMALL GROUPS We believe god has called us to be a church of small groups. There are churches with small groups, and there are churches of small groups. The main difference is that in a church with small groups, small groups are seen as another ministry, or as another option among many. These churches value small groups, but not more than they value any other ministry that may compete with the small groups. However, in a church of small groups, ministry is done and coordinated through the small groups. In these churches small groups have a high value, members are continually encouraged to join one, and members are taught that to miss a weekly small group meeting is the same as missing a regular church service. Nothing competes with the small group. This is the church that we are…a church of small groups. Small Group – “A group of 4-10 people that gather regularly with the purpose of reaching, establishing, discipling, and releasing others for the work of the ministry” To do this, the following values are implemented in our small groups as a strategy of meeting our goals for small groups. In order to see what a healthy small group looks like in our church, we will examine a few things that it is not: a. A Mini- Sunday service – there is not the space, the music, the people, or the dynamics of a Sunday morning service in a small group. A small group is not meant to be a little church. It’s not a place where we line up chairs, sit people down, and preach to them like we would in a church service. b. A Mini-Church- The term “cell’ means that the small group is part of something bigger and not an end in itself. Even though the cell group leader functions as a pastor in many ways, he/she is not the pastor, and small group members are not your people, and setting the direction of the small group is not within your parameters. 8 9 c. A social gathering- If what we came to do is not accomplished; it is not a small group meeting. Any gathering which is not centered in the things of god is just a social gathering, and not a small group gathering. Small groups are Christ-centered. d. A Satellite Church – there is nothing wrong with evangelistic centers, or things of that nature, however, a true small group is small! Remember, the goal of a small group is not numbers, but intimacy. As soon as this is lost, it has ceased to be a biblically functioning small group. THE FIVE PURPOSES OF OUR SMALL GROUPS 1. Evangelize – A small group that has no continual life flowing into it will eventually stall out and die. This is why the priority of new life flow is at the top of small groups’ purpose. Everything that is done in a small group should complement the purpose of reaching new people. Once a group has become ingrown, it will cease to be exciting. 2. Assimilate – (Establish) – “To absorb or receive as ones own”. The goal of a small group leader is to plant a person in the church and not only in a small group. An effective small group is one that is continually planting people into the life of the church. In planting, we mean to get someone assisting faithfully, and serving in some capacity in the local church. 3. Disciple – The small group leader should always be discipling his members unto Christ. This focuses on identifying the persons strengths and building upon them. Many times leaders attend to members wounds but never actually build on strengths. This produces fruitless Christians and codependent relationships. 4. Shepherd – (pastoral care) - Every member should be receiving personal care. The difference between pastoring and discipling is that pastoring focuses more on the disciples’ personal struggles, issues, and weaknesses. Although we want to build on strengths, remember that we cannot exhort, confront, and correct people if we have not shown personal care for them first. 5. Multiply- This involves the development of leadership. The goal of a small group leader is to always be working with someone so that they may 9 10 eventually launch a new group, or leave that person there while they start a new one. This is called succession planning in the business world, and it is a widely held truth that success without a successor is not success at all. 15 REQUIREMENTS OF A SMALL GROUP LEADER 1. Be an official member of our church 2. Have the support of your spouse if married. 3. Faithfulness in church attendance 4. Faithfulness in tithes and offerings 5. Willingness to be equipped systematically- (V.E.T.I. , regional trainings, local trainings, etc) 6. Functioning according to (1 Timothy 5, and Titus 1) – Includes godly lifestyle and solid family life) – If you want to know how someone will work with others, see how he works with his most intimate relationships. 7. Meeting weekly with your group and also have times to do activities outside of the group 8. The ability to facilitate a group discussion 9. To be growing in maturity and in your relationship with God. 10. To flow with the direction and vision of the church- To include being at church events, regional events, and international events 11. Have the Vision and heartbeat of the church – To include our philosophy of ministry. 12. Have the heart of the pastor and church leadership- This involves loyalty to the pastors, and a respect for their ministry. 13. Have means such as time, finances, and energies to be effective – 14. Be accountable to the leadership- the leader must understand the biblical concept of authority. 10 11 15. Commit to a minimum of one year to leading a small group. Anything less than that is unfair to you, and unfair to the ministry. Fruitfulness takes time. 10 Responsibilities of a small group leader 1. Being aware of the state of your members – (Proverbs 27:23) – This is done by 1). Memorizing the names of your members, as well as there children, 2). Maintain regular contact with each member to know their family, social, financial, and other situations, 3). Connecting the pastor in areas that you feel limited, but that you see need attention. (Never pretend to be a professional, or offer professional help) 2. Being an example member’s can follow- (1Timothy 4:12) – Paul brings out key areas we should model: Word- ? Does your conversation betray you? Conduct- Do you live what you believe? Love- Do you care? Spirit- Do you live in freedom and Joy? Faith- Do you see the cup half full, or half empty? Purity- How’s your personal life? 3. Reach new people to your group – remember a small group is light and life. Some practical ways you can reach new people are by: Being daily witnesses in conduct- People will want what a true Christian has. Remember, your life is always speaking. Seek creative ways to reach neighbors, friends, etc. (BBQ’s, servant evangelism, outings, etc) Partake in the churches evangelistic events- use these as pushes’ for your small groups’ growth. Work with the ushers and follow-up ministries for new contacts Constantly keep the goal of inviting new people before your group Seek out new people after each service remembering the 5 minute rule. 4. Assimilating people- Some how to’s: 11 12 being aggressive in following up on those who have strayed learn to delegate ministry so that members gain ownership (This includes in the meeting, as well as out of the meeting- (Songs, dessert, offering, follow-up, etc) Explain the different ministries of the church and how people can be part. Be faithful in announcing the church bulletin weekly. Show integrity in taking the sermon notes, and transmitting them faithfully to the people at the gathering. Create a good atmosphere in your group knowing that if new people fail to connect to the group, they will most likely fall out. Model full participation in church activities as well as in serving. It’s very hard to move people somewhere where you as a leader are not willing to go. 5. Minister to the needs of your people- Some of your people will be hit by sudden crisis. Others will have chronic issues. Either way, nobody can minister to the person better than someone who knows them…in this case; this is the small group leader. Ask yourself the following questions: - What are there natural needs? - What are there spiritual needs? - What can I offer them? - What are the strengths I can build upon in that person? - What is the real issue here? - What is there financial situation? Are they in debt? Do they budget? - What is there family life like? Are they open? How you can meet needs: - Some issues can be dealt with by phone (and should be) - Some require one on one counseling- make time. Problems don’t just go away, they may recede for a while but will come back with a vengeance when not dealt with. - Never assume the responsibility for someone’s problems. A counselor only serves as a mirror to the personas situation, and the giving of biblical counsel, when it’s in your reach. However, always leave the ball in the person’s court. - Don’t make promises you cant fulfill – Ex. “If you do this and that, this will result” - Offer the ministry of “presence”- being there. 12 13 6. Develop and release people for the work of the ministry – The small group is fertile ground for discipling people. The small group leader should give as much ministry away as possible. Remember, only what you share multiplies. Certain things are to be done only by the leader, such as vision casting, but many other things can be given away. The goal is to release ministry to the lowest level possible. How do we give ministry away? - Creating opportunities for everyone- Such as bringing refreshments, calling members, making copies, helping in childcare. - Consider the talents, gifts and passions of each member, and see how they can develop them. - Recruit one on one- When we ask for volunteers publicly; we will always end up with the same people. However, recruiting one on one is a sure way to get more people involved. - Envision the members frequently - Connect members with different ministry leaders in the church so that they may get involved. 7. Create a family atmosphere in your group- As a church grows bigger, it must become smaller through groups. Relationships can be strong between two individuals, but yet poor within the group. Others may be strong between the leader and a member, but weak between members and other members. The fact is that even in a family, not everyone is as easy to like as another, but the small group leader will always create a family atmosphere in spite of our differences. How do we do this? - Praying for one another in gatherings - Encourage your members to spend time with each other, visit each other. The leader should not see this as a threat. - Have special events with your group -Team up your members on visiting tasks, or other ministry, forcing them to interact. 8. Make a list of prospects and work it – Always have a list of prospects, three from each member, in which you pray over, call, and visit, with the goal of having them become part of your group. 9. Seek out people after each service as prospects for your groupAnyone who is not a member of a cell group is fair game. Many times a leader will seek out someone and not connect, but another leader may do the same and find favor and common ground with that person. Remember, the 5 13 14 minute rule is key. This rule is simply an unwritten in house rule that no one seeks out “friends” after a service until at least five minutes. These 5 minutes are for touching new people. 10. Reproduce your group- have a plan, a date, a faith, and a prospect list! THE MEETING This is only an idea, and dates and times may vary according to culture and city. The success of a meeting depends largely on the preparation beforehand and the way the leader actually follows through with the meeting agenda. Even though each small group will have its own personality, the following guidelines will help you to conduct a successful small group reunion. 1. Fellowship at 7.00pm – (30 minutes) - It does not look good for a member or visitor to come and find the host sweeping, mopping, or ordering the chairs. For the regular it may not be a big thing, but for the newcomer, this is a definite turn-off. 2. Begin with a prayer, the greeting, and worship, punctually- (10 minutes). Do not sing songs with a lot of lyrics, rhythms, or high notes. Try and sing simple choruses and do not go long in worship. This is uncomfortable for newcomers. 3. Present petitions for prayer – (5 minutes) – Don’t seek out confidential needs with people who may not want to expose them. 4. Give announcements- (5 minutes) - Cover the bulletin faithfully. Answer any questions that arise from the announcements. 5. Pick up the offering – (5 minutes) - Have a little basket ready and do not promote tithes in the group unless that person does not attend church services but wishes to tithe. 6. Facilitate the discussion – (30-35 minutes)- Remember that no one person should do the talking and that no preaching should be taking place. The leader should be prepared to ask questions on the sermon that will stimulate thought and provoke discussion. 7. Close in prayer and offer desert and refreshment- It is not recommended that heavy meals are offered. This becomes heavy on the people, and loses focus of the small group. 8. During the last minutes you can cover small group goals, status of invitees, and member responsibilities, such as bringing refreshments, doing follow-up, etc – 9. Fill out the group report – This should be done when everyone leaves, but before you leave. 14 15 SMALL GROUP LEADER JOB DESCRIPTION Functions during the meeting: 1. Should have called everyone in the small group during the week – Although this can be delegated at times, it should never be permanently delegated. The leader should still partake of this. 2. Communicated with the host beforehand to make sure everything is a go 3. Arrive at the meeting prayed up and ready to give – The leader should be dressed properly and prepared for the meeting. 4. Arrive early- See with the host what time is proper. 5. Coordinate the agenda beforehand – 6. Facilitate the message from Sunday. (Or whatever method is used) 7. Envision the members – Vision casting is the primary job of the leader. 8. Finalize the meeting report Functions between meetings: 1. Pray daily for your group and each member. 2. Do ministry with an assistant- Remember, only what we share multiplies. 3. Contacts in the form of calls, texts, e-mails, and visitations- Visits should never be done without consent, and messages left on machines are not considered a contact. 4. Make and work a potential members list 5. Obtain a church bulletin and familiarize yourself with the months Calendar. 6. Take notes on Sundays message 7. Turn in the meeting report to the overseer. 15 16 8. Identify and recruit new people who visit the church. JOB DESCRIPTION OF THE ASSISTANT Functions in the meeting 1. Should have made calls between gatherings 2. Contact the leader beforehand to offer yourself for whatever needs doing still. 3. Arrive prayed up and ready to give. 4. Arrive early- Check with leader 5. Be informed and prepared with what you need to do 6. Plan refreshments and drinks 7. Organize child care 8. Count and seal offering envelope immediately 9. Finalize cell report Functions between meetings: 1. Daily prayer for members and potential members 2. Ministry with the leader- be available for this 3. Contacts in the form of calls and visitation- (See notes on leader description) 4. Make and work a potential members list 5. Obtain bulletin and familiarize yourself with the monthly calendar 6. Take notes on Sundays message 7. make sure the small group report is turned in 8. Always seek out new people in church services and invite them to your group. 16 17 The assistant’s job is very much like the leaders because the goal is to make the assistant eventually lead himself. JOB DESCRIPTION OF THE HOST/HOSTESS The job of the host/hostess is very important because it determines the atmosphere of the gathering. REQUIREMENTS IN CHOOSING A HOME: 1. The home needs to be one where peace resides. Even if one spouse is not saved, they should be in agreement and have a “good’ marriage, if not, atmosphere is affected. 2. The home needs to have room – 3. The home needs to be available every week 1. Show a genuine interest in everyone who comes receiving them with a smile and a good attitude. 2. Arrange the chairs for more intimacy – Circles are better than rows. 3. Have extra bibles and pencils for those who may need them 4. Receive people at the door, or place someone to do that. 5. Place signs on the hallways and building doors if necessary so people can direct themselves. 6. Provide a clean and comfortable atmosphere before the guests arrive – It’s very rude to be cleaning when people come. 30 minutes before the meeting, you should be given to serve. 7. Call people by their names and introduce them to others. 8. Prepare a place for childcare, and for refreshments. 9. Have a place for coats to hang and offer to hang them. 10. Remember, new people should be attended by you…it’s your home! 17 18 11. Put music before the meeting- music relaxes people. Music should not be too loud, or too radical. 12. Prepare deserts- Coordinate this beforehand with the assistant. 13. Turn off phones and put away pets – 20 PRINCIPLES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MEETING 1. Create a good atmosphere – Be creative in having a good story, joke, or icebreaker to create the atmosphere. 2. Facilitate and don’t preach – This encourages everyone to participate and gives a reason to assist the group that is not offered in the church service. People feel good when they speak and people listen. 3. Respond immediately to urgent needs or crisis in your members livesRemember, we are not in a church service, and therefore not bound to any schedule. But guard to not let chronically needy members always dominate the small group time with their needs. 4. Be transparent – Transparency encourages transparency. If the leader is open about struggles and weaknesses, he creates an atmosphere of openness, love, and acceptance. 5. Keep the bible as the final authority – Do not let books, opinions, or peoples experience take the place of the bibles final word. 6. Encourage everyone to participate- Although we need discernment in doing this, we do want everyone to be part. Also, don’t permit anyone’s comments to be belittled; this encourages people to not speak. 7. Do not permit cultural or doctrinal divisions in the group- We must never use the bible to fight. Don’t do it, and do not permit it. 18 19 8. Do not be distracted or be doing other things once the meeting beginsBe part of all of it, from beginning to end. 9. Have new people in every meeting- Be very intentional about challenging members in your group to bring someone. 10. Deal with problematic people separately and not in the group- Never let one person’s problem become everybody’s problem. 11. Do not permit people to confess others sins and faults, they can only confess there own. 12. Do not permit anyone to speak badly about leadership or anyone else in the church – This is a breeding ground for disunity. 13. People from other churches should never be given a platform to promote their ministry, or promote there events- They can only express there needs, and must not be a hindrance to the church’s vision, or philosophy of ministry. 14. Do not permit for people in sin, new converts, or people from other churches to facilitate the bible discussion- No member from another church can lead a meeting under any circumstance without consent from the pastor. 15. Do not permit any one person to do all the talking- many times extroverts and emotionally needy people dominate the meetings. Speak to them privately if you have to, but do not let this happen. This causes boredom and stagnation in the meeting. 16. You as a leader should also not be the only one talking 17. Stay focused on the subject – Sometimes the discussion will drift off from the subject, this can be healthy at times, but we should always return to the subject, and not make it a habit to drift. 18. Fill out your group report immediately after the gathering. 19. Keep it creative and fresh – Always have new ways of “doing” your group! 19 20 20. Always end the meeting on a high note- Never say things like, “were not growing”, “many are missing today”, etc. Always end on an up note! 23 “CANNOT’S” OF A GROUP LEADER 1. Cannot be Lord over the group- remember that a small group is part of the church, and that as a leader you’ve been entrusted with a part of a larger ministry. Leaders should therefore never incline the members against the flow of the church. If the church has an outing or an event, the leader should always promote this with integrity, even if for some reason he cannot attend himself, or is not completely in agreement with the activity. 2. Cannot have there own agenda for the group – Once again, everything from ignoring this manual, to sharing your own messages in the group are against the purpose of our groups. Assistants and host’s have the responsibility to inform the leadership if leaders are not flowing. 3. Cannot cancel a meeting at his own discretion – Unless it’s a last minute emergency, a group leader must seek to replace himself , or replace the meeting home for a night if for some reason a change in these needs to be made. Canceling a meeting should be seen as a last and unwanted resort. 4. Cannot substitute or compromise the meeting days and times – Meeting dates and times should not be used to do visitations, or other activities that are not already on the church calendar. 5. Cannot do fundraising that is not approved by the pastor or leadership- never ask for money in the group apart from the regular offering. This is a no, no. 6. Cannot recruit members from other groups – If someone is not part of a group, he or she is fair game. Others may switch groups, this is also ok. However, leaders should not actively pursue people that they know are already in a group. 20 21 7. Cannot assign people to groups – People have the liberty to choose where they feel better, whether it be in your group or someone else’s. 8. Cannot counsel members of the opposite sex alone, or for more than two times. 9. Cannot give professional counsel or unbiblical counsel – We recommend the Billy graham manual fro Christian workers in helping you give advice. 10. Cannot have unauthorized people lead the meeting11. Cannot be too churchy – Avoid the use of pulpits and chairs in rows. 12. Cannot grow beyond ten – remember a successful group is not a large one, but an intimate one. 13. Cannot go too long- This causes people to resist coming back. 14. Cannot be rude – Your goal is to build people, not destroy! 15. Cannot go to extremes- Don’t place burdens on people that are not reachable or not biblical. 16. Cannot let situations get out of hand- This is between members and in the meeting. 17. Cannot function only as a teacher – As leader you have several responsibilities in the group. Even what you delegate has to be followed up on. Don’t just want to arrive and have everything set so you can lead the study. 18. Cannot be partial- Do not have favorites in the group. People pick up on this fast and are turned off by it. 19. Cannot just talk about yourself – Let others talk about themselves. 20. Cannot let your group become stifled and stagnated – Keep creativity alive! 21 22 21. Cannot use the words “cancel”, and “divide” 22. Cannot let your personal problems filter to the group. 23. Cannot run a group without a date of multiplication. KEEPING CREATIVITY IN YOUR GROUP 1. MINISTRIES IN THE MEETING a. singers b. Host’s c. Follow-up d. Ministering to others e. Evangelism f. Music 2. SOCIAL ACTIVITIES a. Fellowship after the group b. Picnics c. Outings- Bowling, baseball game, etc. d. Breakfast e. Celebrating birthdays f. Holiday events 3. SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES a. Letting someone lead the group discussion for the first time. b. Train people in worship, offering, announcements c. Doing ministry with people. d. Connecting members to ministry leaders in the church so they may serve. 4. OTHER WAYS OF STAYING EXCITING a. Evangelistic thrusts b. Friends day c. Make a prospect list d. Prayer and fasting chains e. Projects and goals 22 23 f. Visitation in hospitals and homes. PRINCIPLES OF SHEPHERDING As we have seen, one of the greatest functions of a group leader is to shepherd the people. Time after time, we see Gods people being led in the bible, and pastored. When we see the Jethro principal, the neglected widows, and other examples in the bible, we see that one of the greatest issues of a growing church is neglecting what has already been reached. God has called us sheep – Matthew 9:35-36 - Characteristics of sheep: Need direction ( Ezekiel 34:5-6) Cannot care for themselves Wander Are vulnerable Have needs ( Psalm 23) Are fearful (Jeremiah 23:4) Drift (Isaiah 53:6) Are weak ( Ezekiel 34:4) Get lost ( Jesus sought the 100th sheep) This is a perfect picture of Christians and this is why they need pastoral care. PROBLEMS OF IMPROPER PASTORING (ACCORDING TO JETHRO PRINCIPAL EXODUS 18:13-27) 1. Burnout- (v17-18) - There are people who can drain us. Even though we all need to be drained by needy people regularly to keep our feet on the ground and our hearts tender, the goal of a growing church is to establish a system of pastoral care in which everyone is cared for. 2. Dissatisfaction in the people- Whenever we see improper care of Gods’ people, we see a grumbling people. From Israel to the 23 24 neglected widows, to our churches today, improperly pastored people remain a source of dissatisfaction and grumbling in our churches. 3. Unhealthy dependence upon the pastor, in this case, Moses – For an organizations entire health to rest upon one person, is simply not healthy, and non biblical. WHAT DID JETHRO ADVISE MOSES TO DO? DE-CENTRALIZE THE MINISTRY How did he do this? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Enlisted- (v21) – Sought capable people Trained – (v20) – According to (Ephesians 4:12) Organized- (v21) – This deals with a chain of command Structured- (v22) – Putting in place a system that places the people. Delegated- (v22) – Empowered them with blessing and authority. A SMALL GROUP LEADER IS ONE OF THESE PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN APPOINTED AND ENTRUSTED TO THE TASK OF PASTORING GODS PEOPLE. How do you pastor them? 1. Providing direction – (Exodus 18:20) – The bible says that without vision a people perish. The same principle is true for an individual life. People must be able to see beyond today. The leader shows the sheep the way by: - Biblical instruction - ? What does the bible say? - Wise counsel- The proper application of knowledge. - Example- people learn more by what they see than by what they are told. 2. Feeding them – (1 Peter 5:2) – This is more than just communicating knowledge. It’s ministering to there needs, praying for them, praying with them, laying hands on them at the altars, and audibly blessing them. (See Mark 5:29-32) 3. Caring for them – (Jeremiah 23;2) – How do you care for them? a. Calling them 24 25 b. being in tune with there situations when possible ( Proverbs 27:23) c. Visiting them d. Celebrating there joys, and being with them in their crisis. e. Listening to them f. Being emotionally accessible to them- This means to form a relationship with them that invites them to open up to you. 4. Healing them (Ezekiel 34:4, 16) – This involves caring for the spiritual, and emotional health of the sheep. The bible speaks of broken sheep. This is also symbolic of sheep that have there legs intentionally broken by the pastor so that they cannot do further harm to themselves. There will be occasions where God breaks a member of your group. It’s the shepherd’s job to heal that sheep by comforting, exhorting, confronting, and even rebuking when necessary. The goal however, must always be healing. 5. Seeking them – (Ezekiel 34:5) – In this passage God attributes the straying of the sheep to the neglect of the pastor. Although in many times this is not the case, many other times, it is. When a sheep ‘disappears”, you as a shepherd should be the first one to notice them and to seek them out. The word stray in the Greek means, “ To be taken advantage of, let oneself be seduced, tire until you lose direction, lose focus of the destination, and confusion that leads to unstableness”. These are things sheep will go through. 6. Loving them – In John 21:15, Jesus shows us how He confirmed Peters love for sheep before entrusting him with his sheep. This is at times hard because sheep are not only the objects of our joy, but also the objects of our pains. The key to loving is that it expresses itself: 1. Emotionally – Many of us say we are not too expressive. However, when someone curses at us, or cuts us off in traffic we are very expressive. The truth is that we are 33% soul, and as such, true love cannot contain itself from expression. Sheep will never believe we love them if we are cold to them. 2. Through actions - John says how we can say we love and yet close our hearts to people who need what we materially have. Love expresses itself through actions. As shepherds we must be willing to invest materially and financially in our people. Actions are necessary for love to be acknowledged. 25 26 26
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