JUNE 2015
A PUBLICATION BY THE ARCHDIOCESAN COMMISSION FOR THE FAMILY
It’s time to rediscover the beauty of the
creative design that inscribes the image of God
in the alliance between man and woman.
“[The] complementarity between man and woman ... lies at the foundation
of marriage and the family, which is the first school where we learn to
appreciate our talents and those of others, and where we begin to acquire
the art of living together. For most of us, the family is the principal place
in which we begin to ‘breathe’ values and ideals, as we develop our full
capacity for virtue and charity.” - Pope Francis
P
ope Francis said in his Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, that “family is the
fundamental cell of society” (66). It is “where we learn to live with others despite
our differences and to belong to one another”. Indeed, every child must be born into
a family—through one mother and one father. The family is also the place where
each person learns and grows. With the same breadth, however, the Holy Father says the “the
family is experiencing a profound cultural crisis”. A society focused heavily on individualism,
relativism, and materialism, coupled with ideas that threaten the fundamental structure of a
family, have put the future of the family—and society itself—at great risk.
He bemoans modern cultures’ loss of the true nature of love, instead reducing it to “mere
emotional satisfaction” (no. 66).
At the bedrock of the family is marriage. In many ways, it is the breakdown in marriage
that kicks off a vicious cycle that undermines the family. Marriage “now tends to be viewed
as a form of mere emotional satisfaction that can be constructed in any way or modified at
will”, the pope writes in the same Exhortation. Yet, the importance of a husband and a wife,
united by a firm commitment to love each other “in good times and in bad”, cannot be overemphasised.
It is for this reason that the Archdiocesan Commission for the Family (ACF) was started –
to promote the importance of family, and to help empower families to be fully alive in loving
as God loves, becoming intimate communities and witnesses of life and love sharing in the
life and mission of the Church.
Certainly, the ACF strives to support everyone in the family, but this all begins with
marriage, the union of one man and one woman.
In October 2014, bishops from around the world gathered to discuss matters on the
family. Though fruitful, many questions remained unanswered. This October, the bishops will
once again gather for a synod from 4 to 25 October 2015 to treat the topic, The Vocation and
Mission of the Family in the Church and Contemporary World. Pope Francis has personally
requested our prayers for this October’s Synod in Rome. And as one Church it is only right
that we unite our prayers with the pope’s intentions.
To promote prayer for the upcoming General Synod, as well as to increase awareness of
God’s plan for family life, the ACF will produce a series of pamphlets on a monthly basis
leading up to the Synod. Beginning in June 2015, each issue will discuss an important aspect
of the family, based on the very words of Pope Francis himself, as well as a call to prayer for
the Synod. Rightfully, this series must begin with marriage, and Pope Francis’ teachings on
the complementarity of man and woman. We hope you will make time on a regular basis to
reflect on the teachings of the Church, and to pray for God’s will to be done in and through
our families.
Let us begin.
The difference between man and woman is not for
opposition but for communion and creation.
Over two weeks in April this year, as part of his weekly catechesis on the family, Pope Francis concerned himself with the
differences and complementarity between man and woman, “the summit of the divine creation”. The following are excerpts from
the two audiences the holy father gave.
S
EXUAL DIFFERENCE is present in so
many forms of life, in the long scale of
the living. However, only in man and in
woman does it bear in itself the image
and likeness of God: [The book of Genesis]
repeats it a good three times in two verses (2627): man and woman are image and likeness
of God! This tells us that not only man in
himself is the image of God, not only woman
in herself is the image of God, but also man
and woman, as a couple, are the image of God.
The difference between man and woman is not
for opposition, or for subordination, but for
communion and creation, always in the image
and likeness of God.
Experience teaches it: to know himself
well and to grow harmoniously, the human
being is in need of reciprocity between man
and woman ... We are made to listen to and
to help one another. We can say that without
the reciprocal enrichment in this relation—
in thought and in action, in affections and
in work, also in the faith—the two cannot
understand in depth what it means to be a man
and a woman.
REFLECTION:
How are man and woman different? Are
differences necessarily a bad thing?
MODERN AND contemporary culture has
opened new areas, new freedoms and new
depths for the enrichment of the understanding
of this difference. However, it has also
introduced many doubts and much skepticism.
For instance, I wonder, for example, if the so-
called ‘gender theory’ is not also an expression
of a frustration and of a resignation, which
aims to cancel the sexual difference because it
no longer knows how to address it.
The removal of the difference, in fact,
is the problem, not the solution. To resolve
their problems of relation, man and woman
must instead talk more to one another, listen
more to one another, know one another more,
love one another more. They must relate to
one another with respect and cooperate with
friendship. With these human bases, sustained
by the grace of God, it is possible to plan the
matrimonial and family union for the whole
of life. The matrimonial and family bond is
something serious, and it is for everyone, not
only for believers. I would like to exhort the
intellectuals not to abandon this topic, as if it
had become secondary for the commitment in
favor of a freer and more just society.
REFLECTION:
In what ways are man and woman
complementary and their relationship
unique and exclusive?
GOD HAS entrusted the earth to the alliance of
man and of woman: its failure makes the world
arid of affections and darkens the sky of hope.
The signs are already worrying, and we see them.
[T]he great responsibility of the Church,
of all believers, and first of all of believing
families, to rediscover the beauty of the
creative design that inscribes the image of
God also in the alliance between man and
woman. The earth is filled with harmony and
trust when the alliance between man and
woman is lived well. And if man and woman
seek it together between themselves and with
God, without a doubt they will find it. Jesus
encourages us explicitly to give witness to this
beauty, which is the image of God.”
G
OD’S TRUST in man and woman,
to whom he entrusts the earth, is
generous, direct and full. However, it
is here where the Evil One introduces
in his mind suspicion, incredulity, mistrust and
finally disobedience to the commandment that
protected them ... [s]in generates mistrust and
division between man and woman.
If we do not find a wave of sympathy for
this alliance [between man and woman],
capable of establishing the new generations
to repair the mistrust and the indifference,
children will come into the world ever more
uprooted from the maternal womb. The
social devaluation of the stable and generative
alliance of man and woman is certainly a loss
for all. We must reassess marriage and the
family! And the Bible says a beautiful thing:
man finds woman, they find one another,
and man must leave something to find her
fully. And for this, man will leave his father
and his mother to go with her. It is beautiful!
This means to begin a journey. Man is all for
woman and woman is all for man.
REFLECTION:
What purpose does marriage have between
two people? What are the differences
between courtship and marriage?
THE CARE of this alliance of man and
woman—also if they are sinners and are
wounded, confused or humiliated, mistrustful
and uncertain—is therefore for us believers
a demanding and exciting vocation, in the
present condition. The passage of creation
and of sin [in Genesis], at the end, gives us a
most beautiful icon: “And the Lord God made
for Adam and for his wife garments of skins,
and clothed them” (3:21). It is an image of
tenderness to that sinful couple that leaves us
with our [mouths] open: the tenderness of
God for man and for woman. It is an image
of paternal custody of the human couple.
God himself takes care of and protects his
masterpiece.”
REFLECTION:
In the naturally complementary relationship
between man and woman, how can a man
make his bride more of a woman, and how
can a woman make her groom more of a
man?
For resources and further reading on the
complementarity of man and woman, visit
catholicfamily.org.sg/complementarity.
Prayer Of Pope Francis
For The Synod On The Family
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
in you we contemplate
the splendor of true love,
to you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
grant that our families too
may be places of communion and prayer,
authentic schools of the Gospel
and small domestic Churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may families never again
experience violence, rejection and division:
may all who have been hurt or scandalised
find ready comfort and healing.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may the approaching Synod of Bishops
make us once more mindful
of the sacredness and inviolability of the family,
and its beauty in God’s plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
graciously hear our prayer.
The Archdiocesan Commission for the Family (ACF) was formed
in June 2014 to help empower families to be fully alive in loving as
God loves, becoming intimate communities and witnesses of life
and love sharing in the life and mission of the Church.
To achieve our goals, we work closely with our family partners in promoting family
life. They are:
BEGINNING EXPERIENCE (BE)
9682 1827
besingapore.com
CATHOLIC ENGAGED ENCOUNTER (EE)
9232 3100
ceespore.sg
CHOICE
9046 2297
choice.org.sg
CHRISTIAN FAMILY SOCIAL MOVEMENT (CFSM)
6273 1554
cfsm.org.sg
COUPLE EMPOWERMENT PROGRAMME (CEP)
9674 4711
cep-sg.org
COUPLES FOR CHRIST (CFC)
6284 1880
couplesforchrist.org.sg
FAMILY LIFE SOCIETY (FLS)
6488 0278
familylife.sg
MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER (ME)
9670 5390
wwmesg.org
MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE (MPC)
9848 2864
catholic.org.sg/mpc
MARRIAGE RETORNO
9011 2795
[email protected]
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING (NFP)
9367 3411
naturalfamilyplanning.sg
RETROUVAILLE
6811 0998
helpourmarriage.sg
PARISH-BASED FAMILY LIFE GROUPS
For a list of all our family partners, visit catholicfamily.org.sg/partners.
ARCHDIOCESAN COMMISSION FOR THE FAMILY
2 Highland Road #02-04, Singapore 549102
Tel: 6280 3057 Fax: 6280 3043 Email: [email protected]
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