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2. books and literature

June
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REFRESHED | June 2014
June 2014 | REFRESHED
3
from the editor…
SCOTT NOBLE
Download a digital version
of Refreshed magazine for
convenient viewing on your
favorite digital device.
refreshedtwincities.com
Where should I go?
I will admit it. I’m the type of person
who likes to have my life mapped out for
me. You will do this for x number of years,
and then you will move to this city and do y.
After that, you will take a leap of faith and
do z.
It has taken me a long time to realize
that’s not the way life works—and certainly not the way God usually interacts with us. We don’t receive—no matter how much we desire—that 27page manual on life, which tells us each step we will take, when we will take
it and for how long each step will be in play.
I have come to learn, however, that it’s often in those moments of uncertainty where we learn the most about life and grow in our faith.
The feature articles in this issue address this idea of future life choices
head on.
Christian recording artist Mandisa, who will perform at the Joyful Noise
Family Fest this month, was unsure what she wanted to do with her life after
her appearance on American Idol. Read about the experiences that helped
give her direction and the faith to follow where she believed God directed.
Ramsey County Sheriff Matt Bostrom was not much interested in law
enforcement as a kid. The only conversation he had with his police officer
father as a young man ended with his father telling him to explore other career options than law enforcement before making a final determination.
Bostrom did and now more than 30 years later, he is the sheriff of the
oldest law enforcement agency in the state.
Both Mandisa and Bostrom had decisions to make about their careers.
They didn’t have the coveted 27-page life manual that directed each of their
steps. However, circumstances and wise words and the influence of loved
ones helped direct each of their paths.
It’s a wonderful reminder that life’s most precious moments often happen at crossroads.
VOLUME 1 | NUMBER 3
PUBLISHERS
Lamar & Theresa Keener
GENERAL MANAGER Lana Branham
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Scott Noble
PROOFREADER
Lis Trouten
CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Brokaw, Sam Helgerson,
Jim Jackson, Kory Kleinsasser,
Wendie Pett, Jason Sharp, Colette
and Jonathan Stuart, Doug Trouten
Copyright © 2014 Selah Media Group
Refreshed is an independent, faith-based magazine
published monthly by Selah Media Group. It is distributed
in bulk, free of charge, to hundreds of locations
throughout the Twin Cities metro region.
For a 1-year mail subscription, send $24.95 to the address
below or visit refreshedtwincities.com.
Refreshed welcomes story ideas. All unsolicited material is
subject to approval of the publishers and is not returned.
Viewpoints expressed in Refreshed are those of their
respective writers, and are not necessarily held by the
publishers.
Reasonable effort is made to screen advertisers, but no
endorsement of the publishers is implied or should be
inferred. The publishers can accept no responsibility for the
products or services offered through advertisements. The
publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising.
ADDRESS ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO:
P. O. Box 131030
St. Paul, MN 55113
E - MAIL
[email protected]
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ADVERTISING (651) 964-2750
FOUNDING CORPORATE SPONSOR
For information on the benefits of being a corporate
sponsor, please call Lana Branham at (651) 964-2750.
4
REFRESHED | June 2014
contents
FEATURES
7 Overcomer
Mandisa paves her own way in Christian music
13
10 Read… indeed
Young girl establishes literacy project
13 Called to serve
Ramsey County Sheriff Matt Bostrom follows circuitous
path to law enforcement
19 Joyful Noise Family Fest
Special guide insert: Schedule, map and more
DEPARTMENTS
18
Book review
24
Outtakes
25
Tunes
26
Arts
28
Events calendar
29
Community news
7
10
COLUMNS
30 Doug Trouten | unplugged
31 Sam Helgerson | leadership sense
32 Jason Sharp | sharp focus
33 Wendie Pett | here’s to good health
30
33
34 Colette & Jonathan Stuart | marriage matters
35 Jim Jackson | purposeful parenting
36 Kory Kleinsasser | inspired living
38 Joanne Brokaw | that’s life!
36
June 2014 | REFRESHED
5
Is Chemo Always THE Answer?
Try something new today, try to think differently.
Consider that not all cancers are the same, that the
CAUSE can be as diverse and unique as each individual
patient. Consider that there IS a reason WHY behind
EVERY SINGLE CANCER, and that chemotherapy is
not the only solution available. There is hope for every
cancer patient and it can BEGIN with a natural, safe and
complementary approach.
Integrative Cancer Therapy is our passion and our
mission. Find Hope Today.
www.stopfightingcancer.com
“Never Stop Asking Why”
Services provided solely under
Pastoral Medical Association
licensure to members only.
Have your questions answered or schedule a consultation by calling
651.739.1248.
6
REFRESHED | June 2014
Overcomer
Mandisa paves her own way
in Christian music
by SCOTT NOBLE
I
t’s an experience few people will ever undergo. Standing on stage, waiting to see if millions of voters
thought well enough of your singing abilities to move
you on to the next round. Every week during the highly
rated television show, contestants do their best to convince the tens of millions of people watching that they
have what it takes to become the next “American Idol.”
While Mandisa Lynn Hundley, known on stage as
Mandisa, waited to see if she would make the next
round of the popular TV show, the wheels were already
beginning to turn in her head about what kind of artist
she wanted to become.
Early years
Mandisa can’t really pinpoint a time
when she wasn’t singing. It was part
of who she was from an early age.
“I used to lock myself in the
bathroom and put on my Whitney Houston cassette tapes, and
my curling iron was my microphone,” she said. “I can’t really
remember necessarily a moment where I realized I could
sing. It’s really what I’ve always
wanted to do.”
Singing in church as a
young person was a major influence in her budding career.
People in her family were involved with church choirs and
leading worship, but no one
had done it professionally.
However, that didn’t dissuade
Mandisa from believing that
was what she eventually wanted
to do: sing professionally.
“I’ve always wanted to be a
June 2014 | REFRESHED
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singer,” she said. “When people would
ask me, especially at a very early age,
what I wanted to do, I would always
say that. And then as I got older, people
would ask me what my backup plan was,
and I said, ‘I don’t have a backup plan.’ I
grew up wanting to be Whitney Houston,
and so I guess things changed for me after American Idol.”
Prior to being on American Idol, Mandisa was singing background for various
artists, including Don Moen and Twila
Paris. She also sang on the worship team
for speaker and author Beth Moore.
She had actually just performed her
last event with Moore before flying to
Hollywood for what the American Idol
producers call “Hollywood Week,” a time
when the contestants are put through
numerous performance tests—sing in
front of the judges by themselves, with
groups, without a band—to determine
who will make the live TV shows.
Mandisa was on season five of American Idol, a time when the show was still
in its relative infancy and was pulling in
huge television ratings.
Standing up on stage that night, Mandisa had made the top ten, a significant
feat for anyone after beating out thousands of other contestants. However, her
time on the show was about to come to
an end. Ryan Seacrest, the show’s longtime host, announced Mandisa was eliminated. She had taken ninth place.
At the time, Mandisa didn’t know exactly what her next steps would be.
“I had different kinds of labels calling
and wanting to do meetings, but I just
realized I probably couldn’t; I wouldn’t
fit very well in what would be considered
R&B mainstream music,” she said. “It’s
just my values are different. I don’t necessarily want to sing about the kinds of
things you hear on R&B radio.”
That’s when she had a spark of an
idea, something that would ultimately
lead her to a successful music career as a
Getting personal with Mandisa
Who is on your iPod?
A little bit of everything. I tend to be a fan of girl voices.
Nothing against my guys. A lot of Natalie Grant and Britt Nicole. Also artists like TobyMac and more pop-leaning groups.
I just love artists like that.
What’s a day off like for you?
Honestly, I wish it was something exciting. It involves my
bed and my DVR. On a day off, that’s typically where you can
find me.
Do you have a favorite CD so far that you’ve done?
I hope that most artists say that their last one is their favorite. That certainly is mine. All of my albums have been a
reflection of what God has been doing in my life. My last album, “Overcomer,” is definitely; it’s where I am right now.
What do you enjoy most about being a music artist?
I think it’s hearing from the people that my music has had
an impact on. It is hearing the stories of difficult times that
people have gone through, and then the right song comes on
the right station and just at the right moment. It’s knowing
that God is using me to encourage and uplift people.
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REFRESHED | June 2014
Do you enjoy touring?
If you would have asked me several months ago, my answer would be different. I just got off of a long, long period of
touring, and I am exhausted. Probably my answer right now
is I would not mind being off the road for a little bit. Once
I’m off the road for a little bit, I’m twiddling my thumbs and
going, “I need to get out there again.” Honestly, if I could like
transport myself to each location and skip like the busses and
the planes and all of the in-between stuff — if I could just
transport myself to being on the stage, I would probably enjoy it a whole lot more.
If you weren’t a Christian recording artist, what would you be?
I think I would be speaking, only because in the last year
or so, I’ve felt that call. As soon as I said “OK, God,” I started
getting a lot of people asking me to do it. I think just recently
I’ve come to understand that God communicates in a lot of
different ways, and your music is one of those ways, but it’s
not the only way. I think there’s going to be a combination of
both speaking and singing a lot more in my future.
What is your favorite Bible verse?
Right now it’s probably 1 John 4:4: “You, dear children, are
from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in
you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
Mandisa is one of the featured
performers at the Joyful Noise Family
Fest on June 6 and 7 at the National
Sports Center in Blaine. Joyful Noise is
sponsored by 98.5 KTIS.
IF YOU GO
WHAT:
WHEN:
WHERE:
WHO:
Joyful Noise Family Fest
Friday, June 6 | Saturday, June 7
National Sports Center, Blaine
Tenth Avenue North, Audio
Adrenaline, MercyMe, Steve
Curtis Chapman, Mandisa,
Lincoln Brewster and more
TICKETS: www.joyfulnoisefest.com/2014
Christian recording artist.
Mandisa heard Randy Jackson, a judge
at the time on America Idol, tell the
season’s top two competitors that they
should do the music that comes most
naturally for them.
“That’s when I realized the music that
I wanted to do was about Jesus,” she said.
“I wouldn’t say that that was a backup
plan, necessarily. It’s just my desires
changed, and my goals changed. That
was just a matter of the Lord putting that
on my heart. I feel like He gave me the
talent, but as I grew [in] Him, that’s when
I realized I wanted to use that talent for
Him.”
Popularity and CDs
Since her time on American Idol ended in 2006, Mandisa has released four
CDs and won two Grammy Awards.
She admits that she is unique in the
Christian music scene because of the
music she performs.
“When you look at like Contemporary
Christian Music, I’m a little bit different
than a lot of the other artists in CCM,”
she said. “But I will say there are a lot of
people who have kind of paved the way
for the kind of music that I do, like when
I look at Anointed or Cece Winans to an
extent, or really like Nicole C. Mullen.”
Even though her music, which has a
R&B flair to it, isn’t yet widely played in
all CCM markets, she believes things are
changing.
“I’m seeing CCM radio be a little bit
more open to different types of music,
more variety in that,” she said. “I feel
like the doors are opening for more artists like that. I’m very, very thankful.”
Mandisa’s most recent CD is titled
“Overcomer.” When she was putting it
together, she noticed that a lot of the
songs had the theme of fighting and warfare and “recognizing that in the body
of Christ, we’re in a battle and that the
weapons we fight with are not swords
and guns, but prayer and the Word of
God and worship,” she said.
The title track “Overcomer” was inspired by Mandisa’s friend, Kisha, who is
battling cancer.
“My friend Kisha, who inspired the
song, she’s not going to be an overcomer
when she’s cancer free,” Mandisa said.
“She’s an overcomer right now because,
one, based on what the Word of God says,
especially in First John, an overcomer is
somebody that has Jesus living in their
heart. But it’s also somebody who chooses to fight every single day.”
The theme of overcoming has struck
a chord with many around the country.
Mandisa was recently sent a video from
a public school in Arkansas where the
students were using the song in an effort
to uplift a teacher who is fighting cancer.
“Just seeing all those kids, hundreds
and hundreds of kids, coming together
to encourage somebody who is fighting
cancer … I was crying looking at it, because that’s really what it’s about,” she
said. “I can just imagine that that teacher
looking at that video and being remind-
ed of who she is because of what Jesus
has done.”
The video, she said, is a reminder that
what she does is more than just about
the accolades or the number of CDs sold.
“It’s encouraging people, and it’s giving them hope,” she said.
Encouragement
Over the years, Mandisa has been trying to streamline what she feels called to
do. While singing and performing are integral to her career, she also feels led to
help people in other ways, as well.
“I really feel like my main calling is
encouragement,” she said. “I think I’m
understanding how spiritual gifts come
into play. When I look at most of my
songs, they have a ‘You’re going to be
OK, stay in there, God is with you’ kind
of a message to it. I didn’t necessarily set
out for that. When I look back at those
songs, I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
“When I hear from people who are
going through difficult things, encouragement is a big need in the body of
Christ. I think when people walk away
from me, I definitely want them walking
away knowing they need to stay in the
fight to the final round, and that they’re
going to make it. Don’t quit, don’t give
in. You’re an overcomer.”
Mandisa is certainly an overcomer in
her own life. Not giving in to the pull and
draw of a music career that would possibly compromise her values, Mandisa has
paved her own way in music, a path now
available for many others to follow. ■
Learn more at www.mandisaofficial.com.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
9
…
d
a
e
R
Indeed!
Young girl establishes literacy project
by SCOTT NOBLE
W
hen Maria Keller was 8 years
old, she had a vision to make
the world a better place. How
might she do this? One book at a time,
was her response.
As a young book lover, she had asked
her mother an innocent question: Why
don’t other kids love books as much as
I do?
Her mom, Maura, replied that some
kids just don’t enjoy reading as much.
Others, her mom continued, just don’t
have books.
“That shocked me as an 8-year-old,”
Maria, now 13, recalled, “and I wanted to
do something about it.”
So she did.
Maria, with the help of her parents,
started Read Indeed, a nonprofit literacy organization whose goal is to place
books in the hands of children around
the world.
“We started by having a small book
drive in my church,” Maria said. “We
eventually collected about 5,000 or 6,000
books. Then we donated those to St. Joseph’s Home for Children.”
Her vision to make the world a better
place was inaugurated.
Maria didn’t just want to start a nonprofit dedicated to reading. The entrepreneurial 8-year-old set a lofty goal for
her efforts: to collect and distribute one
million books by the time she turned 18.
To date, the organization has distributed
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REFRESHED | June 2014
nearly 1.1 million books, five years ahead
of schedule. The distributed books have
an estimated value of more than four
million dollars.
Read Indeed books have found their
way to 35 states around the country and
to more than a dozen countries around
the world.
Providing books to children is more
than just a hobby for Maria; giving books
to children who would not otherwise
have access to them can have significant,
long-term effects on their lives.
According to the children’s literacy
nonprofit Reading Is Fundamental (RIF),
two-thirds of children who live in poverty in the U.S. do not have books in the
home. In addition, RIF notes that many
public and school libraries are under
stress to close or reduce their operating
hours due to budget constraints.
Having access to books and possessing the ability to read play important
roles in children’s development, thus
helping to set the foundation for success
as an adult.
Distribution network
Read Indeed collects gently used and
new children’s books from individuals,
churches, businesses, organizations,
schools and any other group willing to
provide the gift of reading to children
around the world.
“We have a warehouse in Hopkins
To date, Maria Keller
and Read Indeed have
distributed nearly 1.1
million children’s books
around the world.
As a young book lover, Maria Keller was shocked when
she learned that some kids don’t have access to books.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
11
where we sort and count the books,” Maria said. “Then I will box them up and
from there have organizations come in
and ship the books out.”
A typical shipment might include an
organization that contacted Read Indeed
with a request for books. Once the books
are collected, Read Indeed volunteers
ship them from the warehouse or schedule a pick-up time if the group is local.
Maria is quick to point out all the
help she has received over the years from
classmates and friends.
“They helped out a ton,” she said. “We
actually have a youth advisory council for Read Indeed. They help generate
ideas and new ideas and programs for
Read Indeed and that’s awesome.”
Even after five years, the number
of volunteers continues to amaze her
mother.
“It has been astounding how many
people continually help at the warehouse, host book drives, send her books
from all across the country and send her
emails of encouragement,” Maura said. “I
love seeing how many children and teens
come and participate in sorting events.
They really get into helping because
it is a fun experience to be surrounded
by thousands of books. The young kids/
teens are typically our hardest workers.”
Maria has also heard from those who
have received the books.
Mary Jo Copeland of Sharing and Caring Hands said on the Read Indeed website: “I just wanted to say thank you for
giving books to God’s poor of poor children! I know God is using you in a very
special way to bring His love to this broken world. You truly bring light to many
dark worlds. God will always bless you.”
Claire McGlynn, an author, wrote via
the website: “I am sending you a thank
you note to thank you on behalf of all
12
REFRESHED | June 2014
the children who are receiving Read Indeed books. Your gigantic book drive has
already helped so many kids. You are a
kind, thoughtful girl who is a leader.
Thank you again for being so thoughtful
of other kids who don’t have any books.”
Give as Jesus
From the beginning, Maria has been
inspired by the example of Jesus in helping others. During the five years of Read
Indeed, her mother has noticed how
much Maria’s faith has grown.
“She has become very confident in her
goals and her vision, and she often tells
people that she believes God continually
works ‘behind the scenes’ to make things
happen,” Maura said. “Read Indeed is
solely funded by individual donations
so when Maria needs to ship out books
to locations near and far, she relies on
the adage ‘If God wants this to happen,
it will happen’ and then she will receive
donations to help offset the cost of shipping the books.”
As with any business, Read Indeed
faces challenges and obstacles. Two in
particular are the most common: raising
the funds to ship the books and receiving
an adequate supply of new books, since
institutions like hospitals will accept
only new books.
“So for us, new books are kind of like
gold,” Maria said. “We always need more
new books. Used books are awesome, but
new books are even better just because
it’s better to give the kids new books
even if they don’t need them. I think it
makes them feel better about getting
them new books instead of used books.”
Business acumen
Starting and running a business is
certainly challenging for someone so
young, but it has also helped prepare
Maria for life after high school.
“It’s definitely going to help me because I have a lot of experience already,”
she said. “It’s such a big learning curve
for me right now. I have learned so much
about the nonprofit and doing all this
sort of stuff.”
Her mother is encouraged by how
much of the business she is learning—
not just distributing books but the more
intricate details of running a complex
organization.
“She is learning how many layers encompass a nonprofit business,” Maura
said. “She has learned how collecting
and distributing books is one facet of the
organization—the main facet—but she
has learned all the other elements that
go into running a growing organization.
She leads her youth advisory board, and
she leads the adult board of directors’
meetings as well.”
Despite being so young, Maria encourages other kids to grab hold of big dreams
and see where they will take them.
“It doesn’t matter how old you are,
you can really still make an impact on
the world and do great things for other
people, even if you’re extremely young,”
Maria said. “Even if you’re a kid, you
can still do a ton of stuff and really help
people all around the world—to make a
difference.”
Even though she has already reached
her goal of distributing one million
books, Maria is not done. Her new goal
is to distribute children’s books to every
state in the union and every country in
the world. Does she think it will happen
by the time she turns 18? Probably not,
but she is committed to fulfilling that
goal as long as it takes.
There’s little doubt she’ll reach it. ■
Learn more at www.readindeed.org.
Called to
SERVE
Ramsey County Sheriff Matt Bostrom follows
circuitous path to law enforcement
by SCOTT NOBLE
W
hen Ramsey County Sheriff
Matt Bostrom was a freshman in high school looking
at potential career opportunities, he
came home one night and asked his
father a question. It seemed a rather
innocuous question at the time, but
one that ultimately would play a significant role in the future and career of
the young man.
“Hey Dad,” Bostrom said, prepping
his dad for the occupational question.
“Maybe I should become a cop.”
Bostrom’s father, a police officer,
looked at his son and said, “Matt, there
are so many other jobs out there.”
And just as quickly as the issue arose,
it died. Bostrom and his father never
talked about it again until college, when
career choices become more imminent.
Growing up on the East Side
The Bostroms grew up on the venerable East Side of St. Paul, an area known
for its rich history and hard-working
residents.
“I grew up near Lake Phalen,” Bostrom
recalled. “The first seven years of my life
were right off the corner of Geranium
and Payne Avenue. My parents moved
a couple of times, but they were all on
the East Side. Ultimately over by Birmingham and Ivy, by Prosperity Heights
School, is what I would call my childhood
home—fifth and sixth grade there. Then
I went to Hazel Park, and then I graduated from Johnson [High School].”
The East Side is also where Bostrom met
his wife, Cheryl. As band students growing
up, they spent a lot of time together, eventually marrying and recently celebrating
their 32nd wedding anniversary.
Even though Bostrom might not have
realized his career prospects when he
asked his father in high school, he would
soon discover a career in law enforcement—much like his father and uncle—
was in store for him as well.
Testing for community service
Bostrom initially took his father’s advice and stopped thinking about law enforcement as an occupational track. He
had a certain aptitude for mathematics,
so he attended the University of Minnesota after high school to study engineering. He completed a couple of internships at 3M and felt as if this was work
he could do, “but it didn’t feel like it was
where I was supposed to be,” he said.
At 19, he began to explore the idea of
June 2014 | REFRESHED
13
getting a degree in finance. The field still
involved mathematics to some extent,
and Bostrom hoped this would be where
he would find a career home.
“I was going to transfer to [the University of] Northwestern – [St. Paul],” he
said. “About that time when I was transferring schools, my dad slid a civil service
test in front of me, saying, ‘It never hurts
to have some experience. Take the civil
service test.’”
The test was specifically a community
service officer test.
“You didn’t have to be a police officer, and so he said, ‘This would be a good
way to work your way through college if
you got a job like this,’” Bostrom recalled
his dad saying. “‘But nonetheless, good
experience.’”
After taking the test, to Bostrom’s
surprise he got hired. He ended up working with quite a few police officers in the
communications center and enjoyed the
work.
Bostrom also discovered at the time
that there was one more police test that
was still open.
“It was open to anybody that had a
clean record and a high school diploma,”
he said.
So he took it, later discovering that
2,100 people had registered for the test.
“I was so naïve that I didn’t realize
that when I was being called back for the
physical, called back for the psychological, called back for the oral test, that not
everybody was doing that,” he said.
He was walking through the process
and not really asking his dad for advice
along the way. He was moving through
a potentially life-changing process but
not giving much thought, at the time, to
what it might ultimately mean.
“In the end, nearly a year after I took
that test, they decided to hire 24 people,”
Bostrom recalled. “I was number 21 on
that list. I thought, ‘All right, I’ll do this
14
REFRESHED | June 2014
Matt and Cheryl Bostrom have been married for 32 years.
for five years and finish up my degree,
and my wife and I will get on with our
lives.’”
Finally, after bouncing around for
a few years wondering where he fit,
Bostrom knew he had found a home. It
was the early 1980s.
“The Lord took it from there,” he
said. “When 2,100 people sign up and
ultimately they hire 24, sometimes when
you wonder where you’re supposed to be,
that takes the mystery out of it. I knew
where I was supposed to be. Didn’t know
for how long. I thought it was temporary.”
Temporary in this case meant more
than 30 years.
The early years
In those early years on the St. Paul
police force, everyone worked patrol,
Bostrom recalled.
“First year, I worked just about every part of the city,” he said. “Made it
through field training and then ultimately my assignment came, and lo and
behold, I was on the East Side working
the midnight shift.
“The way the shifts worked, the
newest guys typically ended up on the
midnight shift. The people kind of midcareer were on the afternoon shift. The
folks that had a longer time on their careers—the senior folks—were on days.
You knew when you finished the academy and after your field training, you’d
end up being assigned to a midnight
shift. So I was.”
Bostrom and his partner also worked
what was then called the “emergency
car.” It was a carryover from when the
city used to do medic runs.
“We didn’t do the medic runs; the
fire department had taken that over,” he
recalled. “What that meant was that we
had all the camera, crime scene, the finger printing tools, crime scene processing; we had some extra skills. So on any
major crime, we were kind of the bridge
between the crime lab, not calling out
the crime lab. So on anything but a homicide, we pretty much did all of it.”
Through those early years as a police officer, Bostrom got to know the city
well, working the Midway and Highland
areas, as well as the East Side.
DARE to change
In 1989, after serving with the St.
Paul Police Department for seven years,
Bostrom was recruited to participate
in the newly developed DARE program,
which encouraged and educated kids to
make important life decisions.
Bostrom speaks highly of his four
years on the campaign, saying it made a
huge difference in his life and was one of
the most rewarding jobs of his career.
The time he spent in front of kids
in a classroom helped Bostrom see the
hope in their lives, a hope that tomorrow
could be better than today.
He didn’t realize until he got into the
classroom that he had begun to develop
a less-than-optimistic view of the future.
“But when I saw these kids …. That
fire hadn’t gone out, but the flame grew
again,” he said. “It’s never changed.”
Bostrom’s years with DARE also reminded him about the importance of
education and his love of teaching. He
eventually returned to school, earning
his Bachelor’s degree at Northwestern; a
Master’s degree in Education at the University of St. Thomas as well as receiving
a teaching certificate; and a doctorate in
Public Administration at Hamline University.
Ramsey County Sheriff
About four years ago, Bostrom said he
was approached by more than 20 people
at independent times and at strange
places … all with the same question on
their minds.
“Matt, has anyone ever talked to you
about running for sheriff?”
At the St. Paul Police Department,
Bostrom had filled several roles after
his early years as a patrol officer. He had
served as a sergeant, lieutenant, commander, senior commander, chief of
staff, assistant chief of operations, and
assistant chief of Homeland Security and
Support Services.
Assuming the question was based in
flattery, Bostrom thanked them for asking and told them he was satisfied with
his current job.
But his mind slowly changed.
“There came a point though with the
people that were saying this …” Bostrom
Getting personal with Sheriff Bostrom
What’s your favorite place to go in Minnesota?
Southeastern Mille Lacs Lake area between Isle and
Malmo. That area is one of my favorite places. A lot of fond
childhood memories [occurred here] and now my father more
recently purchased some property up there. A lot of those
memories are coming back.
What’s your favorite memory from childhood?
The summer trips. Beginning at 10 years old—fifth grade—
my dad bought a travel trailer and a pickup truck. [We would]
hook that up, and we would go for two weeks, me and my
brothers, Mom and Dad. He would just pick a spot. It could
be Yellowstone and you’d see everything on the way to Yellowstone that you could, take a slightly different [way] back
and see everything. We went to the East Coast. We went to
California. Those were tremendously fond memories.
What’s your favorite food or dessert?
I really like a good steak. I don’t do it very often. For a fa-
vorite dessert — I don’t do this very often either — but a real,
you know, baked strawberry cheesecake or cheesecake with
strawberries. That, I enjoy thoroughly with a strong cup of
coffee. I never developed a chocolate thing.
If you weren’t the sheriff or in law enforcement, what would
you be doing?
I’d probably be teaching somewhere. Maybe I’d be teaching and coaching in a public school setting. I’m part of the
leadership team at our church, so I do a little bit of that. I
would suspect I’d still be part of whatever I’ve been called to
use my gifts at my church: Cross Cultural Evangelical Free
Church.
Where would you live if you didn’t live in Minnesota?
I’ve had the blessing to visit a few places that I really like
visiting. I think I could get along quite comfortably in Kauai.
People say I might get island-itis or whatever it is; I’d like to
try. I would like to try that and see if that really happens.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
15
recalled. “They were from different political parties. Many of
them were public servants, not
politicians. Several of them … I
had enough respect for [them] I
thought, ‘It’s not fair for me to be
flippant. I really do need to give
this due consideration.’”
Over time, Bostrom said it became clear that “I should at least
make myself available for that, so I did.”
He was a newcomer to politics, not
having run before.
“My father has run for local office—
city council or school board—so I had
some familiarization,” Bostrom said.
“That was stuff he did. I would help him
only, but I never worked on other campaigns ever. I had no interest. That’s why
I’m a law enforcement officer. I like the
Constitution. I like settling disputes. Allowing the environment to occur where
both sides can freely weigh in and feel
protected. I feel a very deep sense of purpose when I’m doing that. So getting involved in politics—taking sides—didn’t
feel right to me.”
But he eventually moved forward
with his campaign, laying forth a vision
for what he felt professional law enforcement should be.
Situational leadership
As the sheriff of Minnesota’s oldest
law enforcement agency, Bostrom serves
as the leader of its 400-plus staff members. While some people adopt a handson leadership style or pursue a leadership style that places authority on the
shoulders of senior staff, Bostrom has
discovered he feels more at ease with a
situational leadership style, an approach
that regularly encompasses four spheres.
“Meaning, when someone is new
on the job, they need their boss to be a
little bit closer and more clear,” he said.
“Make sure they learn the job and that
16
REFRESHED | June 2014
you’re frequently checking with them so
that they have what they need, and [you]
are available to answer questions. Two,
sometimes you have to step up because
you get an employee that knows how to
do their job but something happened to
them. They’re broken. They had a bad
boss or something going on at home or
whatever. Those types of folks need that
encouraging boss. Inspire them to reconnect, tell them that this is some purposeful work.”
The third sphere Bostrom operates
in is the coaching style for those who
know their stuff and who basically need
to hear the play called and then they are
off and running.
“Then you’ve got the last ones
that you really are hands off,” he said.
“They’re the ones you are developing to
get promoted. You give them additional
responsibility and allow them to start
training that next group.”
Character and faith
Through his years as a law enforcement officer and now as the Ramsey
County Sheriff, Bostrom has learned that
hiring people with character is the best
thing a law enforcement agency can do.
“These are people who have a strong
core, an unwavering center, sense of
purpose,” he said. “Two, they care about
other people. My task is to find men and
women that have those characteristics,
because I think I have a better chance
of training them to have a skill set so
that when they leave our training academy and they’re working, people should see a Ramsey
County deputy as someone that
is of the highest character and the
highest skill set.”
As he spends more time on
the job and grows in his faith,
Bostrom believes he is quicker to
see God working in his life.
“For instance, if I’m frustrated with
you or I’m frustrated with some other
practice, policy or person, the Lord
catches me faster and faster, saying,
‘What’s our relationship like?’” Bostrom
said. “So back to the greatest commandment, am I loving the Lord with all my
heart, mind, soul and strength? As I do
that, I am equipped then to better deal
with those other issues that have to do
with loving my brother.
“Each day, that becomes … when I
feel myself getting frustrated with something, especially somebody, that really is
telling, saying, ‘Did you spend adequate
time quiet this morning?’ That becomes
focus number one. And with age, I’d love
to say I’ve perfected that, but I move
back to understanding that faster and
faster now.”
Next call
With an election coming up in a few
months, Bostrom is still relying on going
where he feels God directs him.
“The Lord didn’t guarantee I’d be
elected,” Bostrom said. “He said, ‘I need
you to do this.’ There might be other
things I might be interested [in], or
perhaps there’s another place I could
contribute. But I haven’t been called to
those places. Any time in life, what I’ve
found is [what] that means in that quietness, He still has work for me here. I’m
not going to worry about really … there’s
an election in the fall, so He might make
it clear then.” ■
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June 2014 | REFRESHED
17
book review
Death of son causes author to explore
idea of heaven with fresh eyes
by SCOTT NOBLE
“Between Heaven and Earth: Finding
Hope, Courage and Passion Through a
Fresh Vision of Heaven”
By Steve Berger, ©2014, Bethany
House Publishers, 187 pages, $14.99
Steve Berger and his wife, Sarah, experienced perhaps the most
dreaded event any parent can
imagine. Their son, Josiah, was on
the cusp of beginning his freshman year of college at the University of Tennessee when he was
involved in a single-car accident, which
ultimately took his life.
One minute Josiah and his parents
were preparing for a landmark event in
the life of their son; seemingly a second
later, they were preparing his funeral
plans.
It’s something every parent fears and
also something that dramatically changes the lives of the surviving parents.
For Steve, senior pastor of Grace
Chapel in Leipers Fork, Tennessee, the
sudden death of his son caused him to
wonder more about heaven. As a pastor,
Berger had no doubt studied the Scriptures about heaven, preached numerous
times on it and most likely engaged in
serious conversations with grieving parents about our eternal resting place.
But this idea of heaven became much
more personal to him after his son’s
death and played a significant role in
his desire to write “Between Heaven and
Earth: Finding Hope, Courage and Passion Through a Fresh Vision of Heaven.”
“[The book] was born really out of a
desire to know what my son was experiencing in heaven,” he said. “We dove into
the Scriptures one more time and probably a deeper way than times past to see
what all the Scriptures said about heaven
and what people are doing in heaven.
18
REFRESHED | June 2014
And what we can expect to do when we
get there.”
It’s not a book, however, about what
Berger calls “cartoon theology,” the illinformed idea that many people—including some Christians—have about
heaven. Ideas that include people sitting on clouds with wings on their backs
while they play harps or sing old hymns.
Berger believes this notion badly misses
the truth.
“You dive into the Scripture, and you
see [heaven is] so filled with life and adventure and authority and responsibility,” he said. “Just go through the book of
Revelation alone and lay prophecy aside
for just a minute, and look at the activity of the saints in heaven. Look at their
creativity. Look how they are creating
new songs, look at how they are worshipping, look and see that they get to rule
and reign with Christ, which means they
have authority and responsibility and
kingdom activity.”
This picture is certainly not one that
could be described as boring.
“Between Heaven and Earth” is well
written and covers numerous topics and
questions people have about heaven.
One chapter is devoted to what people
will do in heaven, while another chapter talks about “hard-pressed living” on
this side of heaven. The remaining chapters touch on a variety
of helpful and Scripture-backed
topics. Throughout the book,
Berger uses Scripture to help
paint the picture of heaven he is
creating.
Even though the idea of
heaven has been discussed and
debated for millennia, many
people struggle with the very
nature of its existence, particularly those walking through the
maze of illness, job loss, abuse
or the death of a loved one.
It’s this particular reader Berger
wants to reach.
“I would encourage people to understand that heaven has the final word
over the followers of Jesus,” he said.
“That tribulation, that trials, that death
itself doesn’t even have the final word
over us; heaven has the final word over
us. When we realize that, all of a sudden
everything here on earth finds its places
underneath that. All of a sudden we realize, ‘You know what? Whatever we’re
going through here on earth—it doesn’t
have the final say over me. It doesn’t win.
Jesus wins and heaven wins.’”
For those still wrestling with the idea
of heaven’s reality, Berger has a prescription.
“You have to take an openhearted
look into the Scriptures, because it’s the
Scriptures that are going to reveal to us
the beauty and majesty of heaven,” he
said. “If they will give themselves to the
study of Scripture, the Holy Spirit will
then come alongside them and reveal
to them the deep things of God. They’ll
have an encounter with heaven if they
approach it with an open, honest heart.”
Learn more at www.bakerpublishing
group.com/bethanyhouse or visit a local
LifeWay store.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
19
20
REFRESHED | June 2014
June 2014 | REFRESHED
21
22
REFRESHED | June 2014
4
WAYS TO
1. Pick up a free copy at one of 700 locations in
Twin Cities metro, including all LifeWay Christian
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retail locations on our website.
2. Read a digital copy. Download a PDF to your
desktop computer, laptop or notebook — or
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3. Order a mail subscription for convenient delivery
to your mailbox each month. One sure way to
never miss an issue.
4. Drink a glass of ice cold orange juice.
refreshedtwincities.com
Visit
to learn more about all these options. Well,
all but #4. Go to the grocery store for that.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
23
outtakes
Veteran actor Jim Caviezel
stars as Coach Bob Ladouceur
in Tristar Pictures’ “When the
Game Stands Tall.”
Standing tall: Life gets
gritty on and off the field
Life and loss, victory and defeat take
the field—and streets—Aug. 22 with the
Tristar Pictures and Affirm Films release
“When the Game Stands Tall.”
Starring Jim Caviezel “(Passion of the
Christ,” “Person of Interest”), Michael
Chiklis (The Shield, The Commish), Alexander Ludwig (“The Hunger Games,”
“Lone Survivor”) and Laura Dern (“Jurassic Park,” “Little Fockers”), the inspirational film is based on the true story
of De La Salle High School’s storied
Spartans football team, and its 151 consecutive victories spanning 12 years.
Although football anchors the story,
the movie centers on far more than the
Concord, California team’s winning
streak—an unprecedented feat. The National Football League’s longest winning
streak, for instance, is 21 games, held by
the New England Patriots, and 47 games
at the collegiate level, owned by the
Oklahoma Sooners.
The screenplay, based on the Neil
Hayes book, was crafted by Scott Marshall Smith and David Zelon and focuses on Caviezel’s Bob Ladouceur, who
coaches his team on not only how to
play the game, but also how to succeed
off of the gridiron.
The movie will also be supported
with a variety of resources that can be
used for group studies. Group sales are
being handled through Sony and can be
made by call 1-877-488-4258.
www.whenthegamestandstall.com
‘Ben Hur’
Entertainment
titans Mark Burnett
and Roma Downey,
who in recent
months have made
headlines with the
release of “The
Bible” and “Son
of God,” will coproduce a remake
of the classic “BenHur,” set to release in February 2016.
24
REFRESHED | June 2014
The power couple is teaming up with Metro-GoldwynMayer Pictures and Paramount Pictures. Burnett joins
producers Sean Daniel (The
Mummy Franchise) and Joni
Levin (The Way Back), while Downey
joins as an executive producer.
“We are thrilled to have Mark and
Roma join the production team to bring
such an indelible classic story to the big
screen,” said Gary Barber, MGM’s chairman and chief executive officer. “Their
unrivaled passion, creativity and success
in the faith-based content space, will be
a huge asset to the film and we look forward to working together.”
MGM and Paramount are currently
partnered on the upcoming “Hercules,”
releasing July 25.
Timur Bekmambetov (“Wanted”)
will direct the film. The screenplay,
originally written by Keith Clarke (“The
Way Back”), with revisions by Academy
Award-winner John Ridley (“12 Years
a Slave”), is based on Lew Wallace’s
1880 epic novel “Ben-Hur: A Tale of the
Christ.” Downey (“The Bible”) and John
Ridley will serve as executive producers along with Keith Clarke and Jason F.
Brown.
The film returns to the heart of Lew
Wallace’s epic novel focusing on the nature of faith. The story follows a falsely
accused nobleman who survives years
of slavery to take vengeance on his best
friend who betrayed him. Both must
come to choose between retribution or
forgiveness.
The couple also announced they are
producing “A.D.,” a new drama series
for NBC, and “The Dovekeepers,” a fourhour miniseries on the story of Masada
for CBS. Both will air next year.
Films to go
The home video market has several
films releasing now.
‘The Redemption of Henry Myers’
After robbing a bank, hard-living
frontiersman Henry Myers turns on his
fellow thieves by fleeing with the take in
this Echolight
Studio picture.
But they’re hot
on his trail and
shoot him. Left
PHOTO COURTESY OF TRISTAR PICTURES
for dead, he’s
cared for by a widow (Erin Bethea) and
her children. Thriving under the care
of the family, Myers must decide which
road he will take—redemption or revenge. Releases June 10.
www.hallmarkmoviechannel.com
‘Seven Deadly Words’
The BMG film, inspired by actual
events, follows Pastor Evan Bennett
who arrives at a Connersville, Indiana
church which has no money and is out
of touch with the
community. As
Bennett works to
restore the budget
and relationships,
and begins to challenge several of
the congregation’s
sacred traditions,
some of the faithful fire back, “We’ve never done it that
way before.” The results are surprising
and inspirational. Releases June 3.
www.sevendeadlywords.com
‘On the Edge’
BMG tackles the broader questions of
spirituality as college student Vince, reflecting on his own faith journey that began on a skiing trip to Lake Tahoe, bets his
college roommate that he can prove that
God exists by taking him on a camping
trip with a few friends from church. Taking
adventure of the great outdoors, the group
tackles the tough questions of life as they
hike in the mountains and swap stories
around the camp fire.
Produced and directed by Rick Garside,
“On the Edge” was filmed on location at
the spectacular Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks. Featuring the music of BarlowGirl, Bob Carlisle, Debby Boone, and
Benny Hester. Releases June 3.
www.gobmg.com/product/dvoe
Sponsored by
tunes
Gospel hall of fame inducts four new legends
The GMA Gospel Music Hall of Fame
has expanded its elite roster by adding a
producer, an a cappella sextet, a celebrity gospel band and a late contemporary artist during its April 29 ceremony.
The newest members, Brown Bannister, Take 5, Gaither Vocal Band and
Rich Mullins, inducted posthumously,
were honored in Nashville on April 29.
Bannister, an audio engineer, producer and songwriter, has won 15
Grammy Awards, 20plus Dove Awards and
been named Producer
of the Year five times
by the Gospel Music
Association. He has
produced award-winning albums for
Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, Steven
Curtis Chapman, Third Day, MercyMe,
Avalon, Point of Grace, CeCe Winans
and Twila Paris.
Take 6, an American a cappella gospel music sextet formed in 1980 on an
Alabama
college
campus, has received 12 Grammy
Awards and five
Dove Awards, as
well as a Soul Train
award. They were
named Vocal Group of the Year by Black
Radio Exclusive as well as Best Jazz Vocal Group for four consecutive years in
a Downbeat Readers poll. The band’s
contemporary style integrates R&B
and jazz influences into its devotional
songs, with a swinging, harmony-rich
sound.
The Gaither Vocal Band, launched
after an impromptu backstage singing
session in the early 1980s, has wowed
audiences with its pinpoint harmonies
even as its artists have changed over
the years. Launched as a contemporary
Christian band, the group now specializes in Southern gospel. Bill Gaither,
who was inducted into the Hall of Fame
as a solo artist in 1983 and as part of the
Bill Gaither Trio in 1999, has anchored
the band; its past and present membership reads like a “Who’s Who” list of
the gospel music industry’s best-loved
voices. In addition to Gaither, the current band, reconfigured after the departure of Mark Lowry and Michael English
late last year, includes Wes Hampton,
David Phelps, Adam Crabb and Todd
Suttles.
The Gaither Vocal Band Homecoming Tours have drawn more than 1.1
million guests over the years, and the
group has produced nearly 30 albums.
Most of their DVDs and CDs have gone
gold or platinum, with total unit sales
estimated at 100 million volumes.
Mullins, who was killed at the age
of 41 in a September 1997 car crash,
was a well-respected
singer and songwriter
who penned the classic praise chorus “Awesome God.” His
songs have been performed by Caedmon’s Call, Five Iron Frenzy, Amy
Grant, Carolyn Arends, Jars of Clay, Michael W. Smith, John Tesh, Chris Rice,
Rebecca St. James, Hillsong United and
Third Day.
The Gospel Music Association
launched its Gospel Music Hall of Fame
in 1971 to recognize significant contributions by individuals and groups in
the genre of gospel music. Among its
previous inductees are Gloria Gaither,
Pat Boone, Johnny Cash, Shirley Caesar, James Blackwood, Andrae Crouch,
Tennessee Ernie Ford, Aretha Franklin,
Larry Norman, Dolly Parton, Al Green,
Elvis Presley, George Beverly Shea, Amy
Grant, Keith Green and Ricky Skaggs.
Band inductees include the Black-
wood Brothers, DeGarmo & Key, The
Hoppers, Imperials, Kingsmen, Mighty
Clouds of Joy, Oak Ridge Boys, Petra
and the Statler Brothers.
Mn Adult & Teen Challenge
HELP WANTED
For almost 30 years, MnTC has been restoring hope
to teens and adults struggling with drug and alcohol
addiction. We have shorter-term and long-term programs that allow us to effectively serve individuals
with a broad spectrum of addiction issues.
Human Resources Coordinator
Enthusiastic and detail minded person needed
to assist in processing of applicant files and
orientation of employees. This is a full time,
temporary position (July - October), flexible day
shift hours.
Program Staff
Assertive men and women needed to supervise,
provide leadership to, and develop mentoring relationships with clients in our residential program.
A good driving record is required. Looking for ONCALL and some FT/PT employees - for both Long
Term and Short Term/Men & Women’s Programs.
CD Counselor
Full time, licensed counselor to work in a 60Day Life Renewal program. Experienced individual will provide CD assessments, group session assistance & treatment plan review. Prior
experience with the insurance claim process,
Procentive and DAANES - strongly preferred. FT,
competitive salary + benefits.
Know the Truth High School Presenter
Temporary six-month position. Articulate individuals with excellent presentation skills & ability to relate to high school students needed to
assist the drug and alcohol prevention program
by presenting their own story of past addiction
to groups throughout the Twin Cities metro area
schools. Teen Challenge graduates are encouraged to apply. FT hours; $10/hr.
Interested individuals may apply online for
these opening and other openings by visiting
www.mntc.org and clicking on the Job
Opportunities link.
For complete up-todate job, internship
and volunteer
opportunities,
visit www.mntc.org.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
25
arts
Inside a Christian artist’s studio
by SUSAN OLASKY
Anne Nelson’s studio in New Orleans’
8th Ward has 12- or 14-foot ceilings and
plenty of light. It’s small—about 15 by 15
feet, and cluttered with canvases. Paint-
H.E. H.A.D. Faith Ministries
A non-denominational Christian Church worshiping on the
seventh day Sabbath (Saturdays)
Teaching Scripture alone, not the traditions of men.
Discover the biblical truth about the Sabbath, end time
events, hell, and the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ.
Call 612-743-3841
26
REFRESHED | June 2014
|
www.godormen.com
ings and sketches hang on the walls.
She is looking at two abstract canvases hanging side-by-side. Each painting is
about 3 feet tall and 3 1/2 feet wide.
Nelson is trying to explain what
comes next. She points at the left-hand
painting.
“Is this one finished?” she asks.
“Probably not. Two days ago, I put a
lot of black outlines around this mass.
I want to bring blue and gray on top to
make the surface. A couple of marks that
keep it from being finished.”
Making abstract art is a conversational process, she says.
“What I love about it—I don’t have
complete control over it. I’m going to
make marks that I didn’t anticipate. I’ll
have to react to that. Fun and interesting
to do,” she says.
Nelson studied art at Bethel University, near her home in Minneapolis. She
began painting representationally—often landscapes. But that began to change
as she struggled to make sense of some
of her life experiences.
After graduating from Bethel in2009,
Nelson moved to New Orleans to be
Artist-in-Residence at St. Roch Community Church, a member of the Presbyterian Church in America. During her nine
months in that position, she made many
paintings. She applied to the Master of
Fine Arts program at Tulane University,
was accepted, and graduated in May
2013. Since then, she’s been a member of
the Staple Goods Collective, where she
has her studio—and where she is puzzling over the two canvases.
Nelson said the forms on the canvases aren’t symbols for anything, but they
are connected in some way to faith. She
rarely paints Christian subjects, but her
faith is part of who she is and what she
values. The two paintings she’s working
on are her first attempts to deal with her
faith directly.
“That’s really the first time I’ve deliberately dealt with my faith life as being
International Healing & Restoration Ministries
Leadership & Healing Conference
Pastor/Leader
Dinner
July 10-12, 2014
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Discover the full potential of your marriage!
by attending a
June 21-22 | Aug 9-10 | Oct 4-5 | Dec 6-7
subject matter,” Nelson says. “It’s slightly terrifying.”
There’s a small gallery at the front of
Staple Goods. Nelson has shown her art
there and curated shows for other artists.
She says trying to make a living as an
artist is difficult. She teaches at Tulane,
works for Habitat for Humanity, and sells
paintings.
“For a couple of years, I was only living off of sales and my grad stipend,” she
said. “And then the grad stipend ended,
and I went back to work in the real world
over the summer just for a few months.
But you’re just basically constantly pulling together a variety of ways to fund
life.”
She said she loves teaching and hopes
to keep doing it. It offers stability and
helps her afford art supplies. Canvas is
$300 a roll, but it can last 18 months,
depending on how much she buys. Paint
is $45 a tube. But her biggest expenses
are two rents, one for an apartment and
the other for her studio. Still, despite all
the juggling, Nelson can’t imagine not
painting.
“It’s just part of how I think,” she said.
“I’m going to respond to something visually. I’m going to be looking at art. It gets
really stressful to be constantly tracking
down the next job and the next grant and
the next residency and the next show.
But even if I were to burn out on that for
a while, I would still be making stuff in
the meantime.”
Mount Olivet Conference Center in Farmington
Call 651.454.3238 to register
Visit www.marriages.org or call for a list of retreats
Mention this ad and
get $25 OFF your registration fee
Susan Olasky writes for World News
Service.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
27
events calendar
THRU JUN 24
Richfield • (612) 961-8812
Reformation (not revival)
Meetings with Vishal Mangalwadi
speaking “Why Christianity Lost
America – How to Return America
to Greatness,” 7pm, Tuesdays.
Redeemer Lutheran Church, 61
Mississippi Way NE, Fridley •
revelationmovement.com
JUN 6-7 • FRI-SAT
JUN 3 • TUESDAY
The Watoto Children’s Choir, choir
from Africa, in concert. Celebration
Lutheran Church, Sartell • watoto.
com/the-choir/see-the-choir
JUN 4 • WEDNESDAY
The Watoto Children’s Choir, choir
from Africa, in concert. St. Paul
Lutheran Church, Perham • watoto.
com/the-choir/see-the-choir
Joyful Noise Family Fest, National
Sports Center, Blaine. Featuring
Tenth Avenue North, Audio
Adrenaline, Hawk Nelson, MercyMe,
Steven Curtis Chapman, Mandisa,
Lincoln Brewster. Presented by 98.5
KTIS • myktis.com
JUN 9 • FRIDAY
The Single Parent Christian
Fellowship monthly social, 6:30pm.
Veterans Memorial Park, Richfield.
Potluck meal, volleyball & more
games • (612) 866-8970, (9651)
649-4525
camp designed for high schoolers
9th-12th grade. $75 • (651) 6386149, bethel.edu/events/journalismcamp
West Highway 96, Arden Hills.
Various rates. By Int’l Healing &
Restoration Ministries • (763) 5447700, inthrmin.org
JUN 14 • SATURDAY
JUL 11 • FRIDAY
Christian Songwriters Workshop,
2pm. Frontier Fellowship, 1139
Payne Ave., St. Paul. By MN
Association of Christian Songwriters
• macsmn.org
Minnesota Country Gospel Opry,
7pm. Crowne Pointe Church,
Richfield • (612) 961-8812
JUN 15-JUL 13
The Oakridge Gallery of Gospel
Art, “It Was Good” – Seven Days
of Creation exhibit, Oakridge
Community Church, 610 County
Road 5, Stillwater • agapearts.net
JUN 10-13 • TUE-FRI
JUN 17 • TUESDAY
The Watoto Children’s Choir, choir
from Africa, in concert. Trinity
Lutheran Church, Pelican Rapids •
watoto.com/the-choir/see-the-choir
United Theological Seminary of
the Twin Cities Annual Summer
Institute in Spirituality and the Arts
with Lynette La Rue, Nicole Smith,
Tom Witt & Emily Jarrett Hughes.
3000 5th St. NW, New Brighton •
(651) 255-6138, unitedseminary.edu
Twin Cities Creation Science
Assoc., “Why is Creation Important
in Evangelism” with Brian
Young speaking, University of
Northwestern, 3003 North Snelling,
Roseville, Nazareth Hall • tccsa.tc
JUN 6 • FRIDAY
JUN 13-15 • FRI-SUN
Minnesota Country Gospel Opry,
7pm. Crowne Pointe Church,
Bethel University hosts the
#MyMediaCamp event. Journalism
Walk & Run for Life to support New
Life Family Services, 8:30am. Lake
Nokomis • (612) 866-7643, nlfs.org
JUN 5 • THURSDAY
JUN 21 • SATURDAY
JUN 21-22 • SAT-SUN
Marriage Encounter. Mount Olivet
Conference Center, Farmington •
(651) 454-3238, marriages.org
JUN 27 • FRIDAY
Christian Singles Event, Jesus
Culture Conference , 8am, Mpls
Convention Center • www.
meetup.com/Christian-SinglesMinneapolis-St-Paul/
JUN 27-28 • FRI-SAT
Mission Possible, Friday 7-9pm,
Worship Time/Preaching &
Saturday 12noon-3pm, Teaching/
Service/Community Outreach).
Amazing Grace Assembly of God,
1237 Earl St., St. Paul • (651) 4085124, (704) 493-4171
JUN 28 • SATURDAY
“Woman-to-Woman” Workshop
with Reverend Regin Irwin,
Minister Mary Johnson, De’Vonna
Pittman & Pastor Barbara Myles
speaking. Dealing with aches,
hurts, pains, un-forgiveness, sexual
abuse, deliverance & healing,
9:30am. 8100 Knox Ave. South,
Bloomington. Free-will offering,
lunch available $7 • (612) 6187955, empowermentoutreach4u@
hotmail.com
JUL 10-12 • THU-SAT
“Come to the Fountain” Leadership
& Healing Conference. North
Heights Lutheran Church, 1700
28
REFRESHED | June 2014
JUL 15 • TUESDAY
Twin Cities Creation Science
Assoc., Illustra Media DVD “Flight,”
University of Northwestern, 3003
North Snelling, Roseville, Totino
Fine Arts Center, Room F2128 •
tccsa.tc
JUL 16-19 • WED-SAT
Sonshine Festival, Willmar.
Featuring Switchfoot, TFK,
Disciple, Britt Nicole, Family Force
5, Newsboys, Kari Jobe, Jamie
Grace, Colton Dixon, and many
more. 5 stages, music tournament,
inflatables, camping, kids activities,
and much more • sonshinefestival.
com
JUL 21-27 • MON-SUN
Revive Twin Cities, evangelism
and discipleship campaign •
revivetwincities.org
JUL 25-26 • FRI-SAT
Mission Possible, Friday 7-9pm,
Worship Time/Preaching &
Saturday 12noon-3pm, Teaching/
Service/Community Outreach).
Amazing Grace Assembly of God,
1237 Earl St., St. Paul • (651) 4085124, (704) 493-4171
JUL 28-AUG 1 • MON-FRI
GoFish Gotta Move Vacation Bible
School (4 years – 8th grade), 9am.
Berea Lutheran Church, 9308 Rich
Valley Blvd., Inver Grove Heights.
Free • (651) 454-1915, bereaclc.org
AUG 1 • FRIDAY
Minnesota Country Gospel Opry,
7pm. Crowne Pointe Church,
Richfield • (612) 961-8812
AUG 2-3 • SAT-SUN
“Restore” concert to express God’s
heart for Israel & the nations with
Jonathan Cahn, Paul Wilbur, Barry
& Batya Segal & For His Name’s
Sake, 1:30pm. Grace Church, Eden
Prairie. $25-35. By Key of David
International • (612) 564-9893,
[email protected]
EVENTS ONLINE
For more events and community
news, please visit www.
refreshedtwincities.com.
community news
Children’s choir to make
tour stops in Minnesota
TWIN CITIES — The Watoto Children’s Choir, a choir from Africa that
travels to help raise awareness about orphaned and vulnerable children in Africa, will conclude its Minnesota tour with
stops in central Minnesota.
The choir will visit Celebration Lutheran Church in Sartell on Tuesday,
June 3; St. Paul Lutheran Church in Perham on Wednesday, June 4; and Trinity
Lutheran Church in Pelican Rapids on
Thursday, June 5.
Each member of the choir has experienced the loss of at least one of their
parents. The children live in Watoto
Children’s Villages.
“Through the choir’s Concert of
Hope, we share a message of transformation by telling the story of Africa’s
rescued orphans and women,” said Gary
Skinner, founder of Watoto, via a media
Bethel University to
host journalism camp
SAINT PAUL — Bethel University will
host the #MyMediaCamp event June 13
to 15. The journalism camp is designed
for high school students entering grades
nine to 12. Attendees will learn from
Bethel University professors and area
journalists about reporting news with
current media tools.
The $75 fee includes food and lodging.
Equipment and supplies will be provided.
For additional information on #MyMediaCamp, visit www.bethel.edu/events/
journalism-camp, email johnson-center@
bethel.edu or call (651) 638-6149.
Group to start Christian
youth leadership camp
SAINT PAUL — The Minnesota Family
Institute announced last month that it’s
organizing the Student Statesmanship
Institute (SSI) Minnesota. The camp will
be a “summer leadership youth camp,
which seeks to provide spiritual challenge, biblical worldview training and
practical hands-on experience in legislature, media, law, business and cam-
release. “We hope to reach out to audiences with the message of Christ’s healing power.”
For additional information about the
group’s U.S. concert schedule, visit www.
watoto.com/the-choir/see-the-choir.
paigns,” according to a media release
from the group.
The program will begin July 20 at
Concordia University in St. Paul.
“We’re very excited to announce the
establishment of SSI Minnesota this summer,” said Tom Prichard, director of Cultural Initiatives for the Minnesota Family Institute, via the release. “It’s a highly
successful youth leadership program,
which has trained up 4,000 youth leaders
in Michigan over the past 20 years. We’re
excited to bring it to Minnesota.”
The first year of the camp will include a
legislative track, where students will learn
the intricacies of legislative work. Future
years will include journalist, lawyer, business owner and campaign manager tracks.
For additional information, visit www.
mfc.org/ssimn or call (612) 789-8811 x207.
will run through June 24.
Mangalwadi is the author of “The Book
that Made Your World” and is also founder
and president of Revelation Movement.
The series is free and open to the public. A free-will offering will be taken.
For additional information, email
[email protected].
Lecture series addresses
Christianity in America
FRIDLEY — Vishal Mangalwadi, author and speaker, will present the series
“Why Christianity Lost America—How to
Return America to Greatness” on Tuesday evenings at 7:00 p.m. at Redeemer
Lutheran Church in Fridley. The series
Workshop to deal
with hurts, healing
BLOOMINGTON — From Death to
Life, 1 Life 2 Change, Inc. and Your Woman of the Hour Outreach will present the
Woman to Woman workshop on Saturday, June 28 at 9:30 a.m. in Bloomington.
Special guests include the Rev. Regin Irwin, Minister Mary Johnson, De’Vonna
Pittman and Pastor Barbara Myles.
The event is designed to help women
with “aches, hurts, pains, un-forgiveness,
sexual abuse, deliverance and healing,”
according to an announcement from organizers.
The event will include a free-will offering, and lunch will be available for
$7.00; no one will be turned away.
For additional information, call (612)
618-7955.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
29
plugged in
DOUG TROUTEN
Twitter: Not the best
place to think out loud
Dan Haseltine didn’t mean what he
said. And he didn’t say what he meant.
On April 21, the front man for the
Christian rock band Jars of Clay was
flying home from Australia where he
had taken part in a panel discussion
on whether the Western church’s focus on moral behavior undermined
the church’s ability to love. That, plus
an in-flight screening of “12 Years a
Slave,” got Haseltine thinking about
how some Christians have historically
misused Scripture to justify the oppression of others.
And because he is a thoughtful man,
he wound up wondering if he had any
such blind spots in his own life and if
objection to same-sex marriage could
be such a blind spot.
Then he started thinking out loud.
On Twitter.
Oops.
right and wrong are of vital importance
to Christians, they have relatively little
to do with our duty to our neighbors.
For the Christian, the question is
not, “How does God want my neighbor
to behave?” The question is, “How does
God want me to behave toward my
neighbor?”
Now, reasonable people who share
a high view of Scripture may agree
or disagree with that more nuanced
point. It’s certainly a discussion worth
having. But Twitter doesn’t really
lend itself to nuanced discussion. The
140-character limit on tweets virtually
guarantees a lack of context. Twitter is
good for lobbing one-liners back and
forth and terrible for thoughtful engagement—by design.
Haseltine seems to have learned
this lesson. He wrote, “Twitter is a
great place to share selfies and a horrible forum for discussions and a bad
place to communicate under the fog of
jetlag.”
Because Twitter
is so current, there’s
a greater tendency
for users to drop their filters and tweet
whatever comes to mind. There’s a
“publish first, filter later” mentality.
But Twitter users need to remember
that their audience includes a lot of
people who don’t really know them
and may therefore misunderstand the
intent of a tweet.
Haseltine is certainly not the only
person to publicly slip and fall on
Twitter.
One night during a scandal involving the sale of burgers containing
horsemeat, British supermarket chain
Tesco sent the ill-advised tweet, “It’s
sleepy time so we’re off to hit the hay!”
And NFL commissioner Roger
Twitter is good for lobbing one-liners
back and forth and terrible for
thoughtful engagement…
The tweet that got the most attention said, “I don’t particularly care
about Scripture’s stance on what is
‘wrong.’ I care more about how it says
we should treat people.”
After that tweet, he said “The tsunami hit.” He apologized, saying, “Rightly
so, people were shocked and offended
by my statement dismissing the value
of Scripture.” He admitted, “I communicated poorly” and added, “I care
about what Scripture says. It matters.”
Believe it or not, there’s a context
within which Haseltine’s poorly worded tweet isn’t just a thoughtless dismissal of the Bible. I believe his point
was that while biblical standards of
30
REFRESHED | June 2014
Goodell discovered just how unpopular
he is during a Twitter “press conference” when the most retweeted question was, “If you were stranded on a
deserted island with only one book to
keep you company, wouldn’t that be
better for everyone?”
So if Twitter isn’t a good forum for
discussion, what is it for? It’s certainly
being used for public relations and
marketing and occasionally for realtime updates during breaking news.
But it’s mostly used for nothing in particular. A study by Pear Analytics broke
Twitter traffic into six categories:
• Pointless babble: 40 percent
• Conversational: 38 percent
• Pass-along value: 9 percent
• Self-promotion: 6 percent
• Spam: 4 percent
• News: 4 percent
Reading through that list always
makes me feel better about not spending more time on Twitter.
Tweets help feed what sociologists
call “ambient awareness.” It’s a general
sense of being connected to somebody
even without direct interaction. You
can ignore them when you don’t have
time, then check up on them when
you’re ready. And in the long run,
tweets can paint a surprisingly good
picture of somebody—like dots in a
pointillist painting. But just like those
dots, it’s hard to pack a lot of meaning
into a single tweet—as Haseltine discovered.
Doug Trouten is chair
of the Communication
Department at
the University of
Northwestern – St. Paul.
leadership sense
SAM HELGERSON
4 tips for doing life well
A couple of weeks ago, I was asked
what advice I would give to a young
woman who was just launching into
her career. Perhaps these are worth
sharing here. My thoughts fall into
two categories: Things I’m glad someone told me, and things I wish someone had told me.
Challenge yourself
Over the years, I’ve found that most
people have no idea how much they
are capable of. In light of that, make
it a habit of doing things that are
hard for you. Develop new skills, then
pick a few of them and develop them
to excellence—don’t settle for good
enough.
I know a handful of friends who
are world leaders in their particular fields. They willingly share the
secret to their success: They simply
applied themselves to learning all
that they could about their chosen
area, using it in real life and sharing
it with others.
Push yourself. Learn where your
strengths are (and are not), and use your
energies to make a difference.
Work on your faith first
Learning to trust God is not an easy
process and unless you are intentional
about it, nothing will happen. Our culture soaks in a vat of technological optimism, and we can very easily replace
God with confidence that science will
find a way.
That optimism often turns into a
cheerful sort of idolatry. The problem is
that faith in God is not usually forged in
the good times when all is going well. It
often grows best in times of adversity.
Find a church. Be part of that community. Volunteer for stuff and get involved. Nothing grows faith faster than
being around a like-minded group of
people who can help show the way. Get
to know some people outside of your
own age group, and be intentional about
living out your faith in every aspect of
your life.
Learn from the stuff
you have to put up with
The early career years are generally
miserable. This is not uncommon, nor
is there anything wrong with it. Usually,
it feels like this: I have a lot that I could
do but because I’m young, I don’t have the
authority to do any of it.
If you find yourself in that situation,
learn from it. Pay attention to your col-
Grace Seventh Day Baptist Church
A Baptist Church with a Difference!
We are small but ready to grow
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Services every Saturday 10 AM to about 11:15 AM
We meet at Emmaus Lutheran Church, 8443 2nd Ave. South, Bloomington, MN
Call 952-432-7490 or visit our website for more information: graceseventhdaybaptist.org
Come celebrate Christ on Sabbath
Grace is a branch church of Dodge Center 7th Day Baptist and the Seventh Day Baptist General Conference, Janesville, WI
leagues and co-workers. Who do you
most want to emulate? Who do you not
want to emulate? How do some people
manage to get things done while others
seem to do nothing? Who has the most
influence on others?
Be forewarned: Somewhere along
the way, you will fail. You will run into
trouble. You may even be fired. These
experiences are not bad, but they test
(and prove) our faith in God. How we
handle them can refine our character.
Learn constantly, and let God use your
experiences to shape you. Use every
circumstance either as a model or as a
warning.
Be thankful
Things are rarely as we hope they will
be, but you will never experience the day
when everything gets back to normal.
I suspect that there is no such thing as
normal.
It’s interesting that the psalmist
wrote, “This is the day the Lord has
made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
We don’t get to pick our circumstances, but we can be grateful for all
the grace and goodness that we find in
them.
The early stages of your career are
the building blocks for your future.
Be intentional about putting down a
solid foundation now, or you will have
nothing to build on later. As I often
say, “Prepare faithfully, and God will
open the doors when you are ready.”
Sam Helgerson, PhD, is
the program director for
the Master’s program
in Organizational
Leadership and the
assistant dean of
Business and Leadership
Programs at Bethel University.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
31
sharp focus
JASON SHARP
God doesn’t need you, but …
I struggle with self confidence. It’s
true, and I’m really OK with letting you
know. Transparency is an active part of
my life; just ask anyone who works with
me on a regular basis.
I am one of the many people at KTIS
who have taken the Strengths Finder
Assessment from Gallup. One of my top
five strengths is the fact that I am an
Achiever. That means that I am somewhat driven and have a constant need
for achievement. Every day starts at
zero, and I must achieve something by
the end of the day in order to feel good
about myself.
It’s like a daily bank account, where
my balance makes all the difference in
how I feel about myself. Honestly, it’s
exhausting.
Not only is it exhausting, it’s also depressing because, unfortunately, I don’t
end each day with a large balance and
that leads me to wonder why God even
needs me. Do you ever feel that way?
I’ve got good news! God doesn’t need
you, He wants you.
“The God who made the world and
everything in it is the Lord of heaven
and earth and does not live in temples
built by human hands. And he is not
served by human hands, as if he needed
anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything
else” (Acts 17:24-25).
My wife, Julie, and I have two children: Haley, 14, and Carson, 12. Carson,
like most boys his age, is into anything
that involves a ball and is always on the
go. In his busyness running from one
end of the neighborhood to the other
to play with his friends, I’ll see him and
stop him in his tracks by saying, “Hey
buddy, want to play catch?”
After looking at me like I am speaking German, he says, “Sure, if you want
to.”
Want to? It would be the highlight of
my day! He’s amazed that his dad wants
to hang out with him and wants to
spend time with him. Oftentimes, I’m
that way with God: “Sure God, I’ll spend
time with you if you want to” when
Where Words Are Transformed
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SNOBLE NOBLECREATIVECOMsNOBLECREATIVECOM
32
REFRESHED | June 2014
God’s invitation is to know Him in a
deep and personal way.
This is the God who created Pluto
and Saturn and Jupiter and the sun.
Light and darkness. God made the swift
cheetah and the delicate butterfly. God
made the evaporation system. God made
the industrious beaver and the galloping
mustang. God made the food chain. God
made the gorgeous diamonds and rubies. God made you, and God made me.
God wouldn’t even ask me for a sandwich if He were hungry. He does not
need me for the minutest thing yet He
stretches out His beautiful hand to me
through His only begotten Son.
“What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care
for them? You have made them a little
lower than the angels and crowned them
with glory and honor. You made them
rulers over the works of your hands;
you put everything under their feet: all
flocks and herds, and the animals of the
wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish
in the sea, all that swim the paths of
the seas. Lord, our Lord, how majestic is
your name in all the earth!” (Psalm 8:4).
So, in spite of the fact that He is everything and I am nothing, He desires
relationship with me. When I have that
perspective, I am not worried about
achievements or bank accounts; I am
just honored to be a part of what God
wants me to be a part of.
I hope you find encouragement today, that while God does not need you,
He wants you. God wants a relationship
with you, an active, vibrant relationship.
Jason Sharp is station
manager of 98.5 KTIS in
the Twin Cities. Follow
him on Twitter @
jasonrsharp.
here’s to good health
WENDIE PETT
Attitude is everything
Attitude … It makes a world of difference to the success in all areas of your
life. Did you know that the word “pessimist” is from the Latin word “Pessimus,”
which means worst?
Pessimists believe that the world is
bad and getting worse and that evil will
triumph over good. They resign to defeat and expect the least favorable result
in everything they do. They expect a
bad day, failure, bad service, illness and
even bad hair days. Stay clear of them
for they could drag you down with their
negativity and energy draining mindset.
I’m reminded of something I heard
author and speaker Joyce Meyer say recently, and it’s so true. She said, “Deadly
ried alive … never die.”
emotions buried
Now that’s a powerful statement.
n have you noticed
How often
n your current
that you’re in
e to the emosituation due
u’ve attached
tions that you’ve
to it? Maybe you’ve never
ut it, but I want
thought about
to encourage you to take
ke on those
notice and take
th new feelings
emotions with
hat
and actions that
are positive.
This will
begin the
shift for
positive
change to
occur in yourr
life. How so?
in
Well, the brain
is wired with tiny
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together. The
are “wired” iss the way
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e way
to change the
d,” you
you’re “wired,”
must sever the neurons that are currently keeping you stuck and generate
new wiring that only occurs by new actions and new thinking.
This takes practice and persistence,
but it scientifically works. This is how
new habits are formed: by creating
fresh, positive neurons that wire together within your brain that will offer new
emotions regarding certain situations.
Now, let’s move on to the word optimist. It’s from the Latin word “Optimus”
and means best!
Optimists believe people and events
are inherently good, and the world is a
positive place. They expect situations
to work out for the best. They expect a
parking spot,
good day, a good par
promotion, good health and
good humor. Find
Fin an opperson, and you
timistic person
their company.
will enjoy the
They are the ones that in
my mind resemble
a lit
res
match in a rroom of darkness; they beam
and alb
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Studies
Studie prove that
optimistic
peoop
ple live longer, happier lives.
At Mayo
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Minnesota,
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that 50 percent
of people
lower
peo
their risk
r of dying
early than
th those
who are negative.
Optimists
Optimist don’t allow
situations
situation and circumstances to define
cumstan
them, and
an they tend
to let life’s
life “stuff” roll
off their backs—like a
duck in water.
They are perfectly content, happy
and see the silver lining no matter what
life brings their way. Because of this, the
studies also tell us that happy people
typically live seven years longer than
their “negative nelly” friends. So, if you
don’t think that your attitude matters,
think again!
Oh … and did you know that the
mind and spirit must be in a positive,
loving and peaceful place before your
physical self can ever transform? It’s
true. It’s pretty difficult to stay sad, angry and depressed with an authentic and
genuine smile on your face.
Slap a smile on your old emotions
and watch your circumstances change
and give new light to press forward.
Start by reading and receiving this scripture, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for
this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for
you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
This is one of the first steps to
change your physical well being: having
gratitude. Next, get that smile and body
moving to release positive endorphins
in the brain as another natural way to
become optimistic and happy.
If you’re looking for motivation to
become your best, it comes from within.
But it sure helps to surround yourself
with optimistic people who also believe
in you! And you can … just change your
thoughts, and your life will follow!
“For as a man thinks in his heart, so
is he” (Proverbs 23:7).
Wendie Pett is a
nationally-renowned
fitness expert and coach,
mother, TV host, speaker,
author and creator of
the Visibly Fit™ exercise
program. Learn more at
www.wendiepett.com.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
33
marriage matters
COLETTE & JONATHAN STUART
Deposits and withdrawals
in the logistics of life
Financial management is important
in marriage, but have you ever considered the idea of deposits, withdrawals
and the beauty of compound interest in
your relationship? Deposits are those
little things we do that put currency into
our relationship investment portfolio.
Withdrawals come in those times when
one partner has to pick up extra slack
while the other depends on credit.
It’s not always easy to make even
little deposits. To focus on your spouse
when he or she is talking to you or meet
one another’s eyes while responding,
instead of texting or watching the Twins
game, takes intentional effort.
All of us get these deposits in different ways. They might come through
Jonathan had been thinking of things
to talk to Colette about all day and knew
he only had a small window of time to
get in the door, check in and get something to eat before taking the kids to
their events. Like a ping pong game, he
started pelting off questions along with
bits of information that Colette “needed
to know” about the kids, house, schedule, etc.
If this episode is sounding a bit
familiar, you can guess what Colette’s
reaction was. Her initial excitement
to reconnect quickly sizzled. She felt
overwhelmed by the bombardment of
information and frustrated with Jonathan for not taking time just to check
in with her.
If only we could take
a do-over in those situations! If Jonathan could
have come back in and
given her a hug to say hello, made small talk about
the trip and asked about
how it had been at home,
things could have been different. But those deposits
hadn’t been made, so there
was nothing to withdraw. With both of
us under pressure and after having not
seen one another for a couple of days,
our marriage account was overdrawn.
We often live in the tension of deposits and withdrawals in our relationship. Like any type of good investment,
it takes the ability to be deliberate and
deposit a little at a time. You may be realizing you are withdrawing more than
you’re putting in but if two are better
than one, as it says in Ecclesiastes, then
having someone to invest with means
you get a stronger return than if you
were all by yourself.
What small but significant thing can
you do today to make a deposit? Here
are a few conversation starters and tips
With both of us under pressure
and after having not seen one
another for a couple of days, our
marriage account was overdrawn.
setting up the date night so you can be
alone together, being the one who runs
that extra errand or just in that hug before you walk out the door. Your deposits might be different than they are for
your spouse. Knowing and communicating what each of these look like is the
first step to actually making sure you’re
investing in meaningful ways.
Consider the following example that
recently happened with us. Jonathan
came home from work to find Colette
cooking dinner. It was our first time seeing each other in two days because of a
business trip, and we had an extremely
busy evening ahead. Two of our three
kids had activities to get to, and Colette
also had a meeting.
34
REFRESHED | June 2014
for keeping tabs on your marriage account:
1. Make a list of the top five ways you
feel your partner makes deposits in your
marriage. This might come through
multiple ways, including verbal affirmations, time alone together, physical
touch, etc. Make another top five for
how you think your spouse feels deposited into by you. Compare notes and see
how you did recognizing each other’s
needs.
2. If you’d like to think more about
your style of giving and receiving in
your relationship, a great and helpful
read is Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love
Languages.”
3. How do you communicate in those
times when your marriage account is
depleted? We can fall into either one of
two unhealthy patterns: communicating
disrespectfully about it or wanting to
avoid the issue and completely shutting
down. “The Peace Maker” by Ken Sande
is a resource we’ve found that offers a
great model for repairing these conflict
situations.
Jonathan Stuart, Ph.D.,
is a faculty member in
the Minnesota State
Colleges and Universities
(MnSCU) system. He
specializes in training
and mediation services.
Colette Campbell, M.A., is an adjunct faculty member,
speaker/consultant and coach. She offers workshops
on connecting to your calling, working with
differences, and workingbetter2gether.
purposeful parenting
JIM JACKSON
How we spoil our kids and how to stop
There’s a lot being said about spoiled
kids these days. Much has been written
about how kids tend to believe that they
deserve to be happy, they deserve the
best, and they deserve to be served. How
could so many well-meaning parents
and caregivers let this happen?
Here’s how:
best education and the best schools they
can get in to.
Whatever a family’s ability to pay for
things, parents tend to spend uncomfortable amounts of their funds to get
their kids the best they can afford. It’s
well-intended but tends to leave kids
g, well,, entitled to the best.
feeling,
1. “I deserve to be happy!”
We protect kids from disn they forappointment. When
get their lunch, we bring it to
on’t get as
them. When they don’t
much stage time orr playing time as they want
hem
(or as we want them
ir
to), we talk to their
directors or coaches. When kids are
embarrassed
by
selling things for
fundraisers, we do
m.
the selling for them.
le
When they struggle
d
with homework and
s,
we fear bad grades,
ve
we jump in to drive
en
the process. We even
m.
do the work for them.
on’t
We simply don’t
uffer.
want our kids to suffer.
But the Bible tells us that
at proit is suffering that
duces character (Romans
5:3-4).
3. “I deserve to be served!”
I saw three teen
teens in a public restroom. They were goofing off at the
sinks, splashing water and wadding
and throwin
throwing a barrage of paper
towels. As they prepared to
leave, the
they looked at the mess
and one o
of them said, “They
pay peopl
people to clean up,” and
hurried a
away.
tidie up some of
I tidied
an headed for
the mess and
cof
the nearby coffee
shop—to
g
find that same group
of three
behin what I prewas in line behind
sumed to be the mom of one
wa ordering for
of them. She was
turne to ask the
them and turned
h said “They pay
same one who had
wha he wanted. This
people …” what
fr
triggered my frustration
from the
cur
restroom. I curiously
offered, “I’m
co
guessing he could
order for himself.”
h can!” she snapped
“You bet he
g
back. “He’s going
to take the
sto
world by storm.”
And she turned
comple
and completed
his order while
an the others went
her son and
t
over to a table
to await her
delivery.
So we
we’ve ended up with a
commun of well-intended
community
parents who do a lot of stuff
kids thinking it’s good to
for kids,
so Much of the advice
do so.
a
about
this is to stop
doing so much stuff
est!”
2. “I deserve the best!”
We parents tend to unknowingly reinforce this message. We
provide the best opportunities.
st activities.
We choose the best
lay sports,
If they want to play
est equipwe get them the best
s, the best
ment. If it’s the arts,
ments. We
lessons and instruments.
achers, the
want the best teachers,
for our kids because it produces entitled
kids. We agree. But something’s missing
from the discussion. More is needed.
It’s not enough to stop doing certain
things for your kids. We need more than
stop signs. We need a new path to travel.
God’s path.
“We are God’s masterpiece, created
in Christ to do good works” (Ephesians
2:10).
If you really want kids who grow to
believe that they are not the most important thing around, create daily opportunities for them to “do good works”
that bless others. This is the pattern of
Jesus, who did not come to be served but
to serve.
Help your kids know that whatever
talent they have is talent given so they
…create daily opportunities
for them to “do good works”
that bless others.
can give—so they can participate in
God’s plan to bless the whole world.
Start small. Start next door. Even on
vacation! One parent just wrote us to
say they’d practiced this idea at a famous theme park, and they found that
being kind and serving even the help
staff was the highlight of their trip!
When parents act on a vision to orient their kids this way, those kids really
do take the world by storm—in the name
of Jesus!
Jim Jackson is the cofounder of Connected
Families, author, speaker
and parent mentor.
Learn more at www.
connectedfamilies.org.
June 2014 | REFRESHED
35
inspired living
KORY KLEINSASSER
The power of grace
I grew up on a farm in South Dakota,
which provided all the fun and benefits
of farm equipment. One particular piece
of equipment was a 1978 Chevy 3/4 ton
truck with a “ram bar” that protruded
from the truck about six inches
or so. It was intended to be used
to push other equipment when it
was stuck. My grandmother apparently believed it was to ram
cows that weren’t walking fast
enough into the barn.
One other benefit of living on
the farm was a 500-gallon gas
tank raised about six feet off the
ground. The tank had a hose and
a nozzle just like you’d see at
a gas station, except there was
not a gas meter attached to it.
In other words, the gas was free (to me,
anyway).
I remember vividly the day I pulled
up to the tank to fill the truck with gas.
When I finished, I hung the nozzle on
the hook and got in the truck to head
on my way. Like a good teenager with
a truck on gravel, I thought it would be
fun to put the truck in reverse and floor
it. Instantly, rocks flew as if shot out
of a shotgun. It was great fun … until I
looked at the front of the truck and realized the hose was still attached to the
ram bar.
what happened. Knowing that every
gallon that escaped from the tank was
like money down the drain, he ran to the
tank, reached up and covered the hole
with his hand. Gasoline was spraying
in his face as he tried to apply enough
pressure to stop the deluge. He told me
to call Grandpa and tell him to get a
cork to plug the hole.
Grandpa eventually arrived and drove
a cork into the opening. I knew my dad’s
hand would soon be free and, though
he wasn’t big on corporal punishment,
I was afraid of what was coming. I sat
on the front stoop of the house and
watched him move a little closer with
each step. I braced for the worst.
But as he came to the stoop, instead of raising his hand, he lowered
his body, sat next to
me and told me the
story of a teenager
20 years earlier who
pulled a tractor up to
an elevated diesel tank.
Without thinking, this
teenager backed away
from the tank, pulling
the hose loose and leaking gallons
of diesel fuel onto the ground. That
teenager was my dad.
It takes a great amount of humility to
offer grace instead of punishment. Our
Imagine my surprise when I looked
up to see gasoline spewing from the
tank—gallon after gallon saturating
the ground below.
Imagine my surprise when I looked
up to see gasoline spewing from the
tank—gallon after gallon saturating the
ground below. I knew my dad would
know what to do, so I ran to tell him
36
REFRESHED | June 2014
natural reaction to events like this is
typically anger and the desire to punish.
There’s certainly a time when punishment is necessary but as I reflect on my
dad’s reaction, I’ve come to realize that
grace was much more effective.
Guilt and fear might prevent me
from making the same mistake
but in the long run, it only leads
to separation and resentment.
As the image of my dad standing with his hand up and gasoline
spraying into his eyes flooded my
mind, my heart grew in compassion for him, because he cleaned
up my mistake and didn’t take it
out on me. And far from wanting to take that act for granted, it
made me want to do it right the
next time—not out of fear but out
of love.
Grace isn’t soft. It isn’t the easy way
out. Grace doesn’t sweep sin under the
rug or ignore the problem. While guilt
and punishment drive people away from
God, grace has an astonishing power to
reorient people toward God and motivate obedience.
This is God’s approach toward us
and our sin. Paul says in 2 Corinthians
5:18 that God reconciled us to himself
through Christ by refusing to count our
sins against us. And now we have been
given the message of reconciliation.
Next time you feel the urge to punish
or retaliate, remember your own story—
how you had a God who saw your sin,
and yet chose to give you grace and let
that move you to do the same for others.
Kory Kleinsasser is
senior pastor of Waite
Park Wesleyan Church in
Minneapolis.
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June 2014 | REFRESHED
37
that’s life!
JOANNE BROKAW
Happy birthday to me
By the time you read this column, I’ll
have reached one of life’s many mileth
th
stones: the 20 anniversary of my 30
birthday.
Or, to be more specific, I turn 350 in
dog years.
I’d love to share some words of wisdom about turning 49+1, but publishing
deadlines being what they are, as I sit
down to write this column I’m still a
few weeks shy of the actual Big Day. All
I have as a prediction of the coming decade is my past experience. My 40s were
significantly better than my 30s, which
were much better than my 20s. Each
decade has brought with it increasing
wisdom and maturity, allowing me to
both apologize to and forgive myself for
the previous decade.
If that trend continues, I’ll be eligible
for membership in Mensa. Or sainthood.
Since I have nothing
g to offer yet
on what it means to join
in the
Over the Hill Gang, I turned
urned
to my friend Lynda forr some
thoughts on what to expect.
xpect.
Her birthday was just a
few days ago, so the big
g
event is still fresh in her
er
mind. She had a week-end-long celebration
that included a
night out with the
girls, dinner with
family and a lot of
pictures on Facebook
showing that she’s barely
rely
aged since high school.
When I asked her how it felt to turn
10x5, she mused about a little arthritis
in her knees, along with the requisite
hot flashes and slightly higher blood
pressure. You know, the things people
tell me that “women your age” deal
with, along with resistant gray hair,
memory loss, and those few extra
38
REFRESHED | June 2014
pounds that won’t go away no matter
how much you diet or exercise.
Fair warning. The next person who
says “women your age” to me will find
out that women my age can still give
you black eye.
But back to Lynda. She isn’t letting
a milestone birthday get her down. She
has a lot to celebrate this year. She and
her husband will be married for 25 years.
Their daughter turns 21 and their son
starts high school.
“I have a job I love, which I work
part time, so low stress,” she told me
by email. “Two great kids, an awesome
husband, a lovable dog, a roof over our
heads, living in San Diego, and just
came back from the beach, where my
son’s swim team was taking their team
photos.”
With characteristic optimism, she
survived the millenniadded, “We su
it’s all bonus years from
um, so it’
here on out!”
Maybe she’s so upbeat beMay
the birthday cake sugar
cause th
cleared her system yet,
hasn’t cl
or sshe’s high on all of that
California
sun and surf
Ca
so absent here in Western
er New York, where
I live and write (and
shovel
snow in May). I
s
needed feedback from
someone in my own
climate.
My friend Lisa
celebrated
The Big One
cele
last December, during a
blizzard. There was a surprise party,
although she didn’t feel much like celebrating. And it wasn’t just the weather.
“I’m not where I thought I’d be at this
point in my life,” she admitted over
lunch recently. I understand what she
means. I’m still trying to figure out
what I want to be when I grow up, while
people I went to high school with are
retiring from jobs they’ve held for 25 or
30 years.
Another friend, Mickey, has a year
or two on me and Lisa, and she added
this perspective: “When I do realize how
old I’ll be it amazes me. I’m not where
I thought I’d be but it’s been a pretty
good trip to where I am.”
That explains Yvonne’s thoughts,
too. She said that as the years have
passed, “I gained confidence. I gained
experience. I gained knowledge. I gained
self-esteem.” This birthday is when she
bloomed. “I moved forward and I’ve
never looked back.”
Sounds like the key to aging is to
enjoy the journey and not focus on the
destination. Good. That means I can
throw away all of those mailers from the
cemetery offering to help me preplan
my funeral.
Today turns into tomorrow, this
year turns into the next, and life keeps
happening, regardless of how many
candles are on your birthday cake. While
I haven’t made a big deal about my impending leap into old age, it would be
nice if everyone else stopped counting.
Yesterday the mailman delivered my
membership application for AARP.
That led to maybe the best feedback
I’ve gotten so far about turning … gulp
… 50: “Enjoy it,” said my Aunt Mary Ellen. “You’ll never be any younger.”
Award-winning freelance
writer Joanne Brokaw
spends her days dreaming
of things she’d like to
do but probably never
will— like swimming
with dolphins, cleaning
the attic and someday overcoming the trauma
of elementary school picture day. She lives with
two dogs, a cat, six chickens and one very patient
husband. Learn more at www.joannebrokaw.com.
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TO CHANGE THE WORLD.
We’ll prepare you
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At Bethel Seminary, we’re committed to equipping
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make a real difference in our communities and our world.
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St. Paul | San Diego | Online
June 2014 | REFRESHED
39
praising
serving
praying
believing
with you
40
REFRESHED | June 2014