PART-I
PART-I Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ?? Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!! Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ?? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened? Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer. Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands? Santa: I had. Banta: What? Santa: His wife's boobs! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose. One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn't taste sweet? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati ko kya karna chahiye? Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----A Newly Married Couple Seeking Divorce... Judge asks Lady "Why do you want divorce?" Lady: Despite Knowin That I'm Vegetarian, He Forces Ne To Put Meat In My Mouth!!" ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----What do woman usually say after Sex? I Luv U? Wrong! That was great? Wrong again! I Luv it? Aray Nahi Yaar.... Sahi Jawab Hai: Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai......... . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- What is the height of poverty? . . . . . . . . . . When a girl is ready to get fucked for only 2 rupees.... and you have only 1 rupee!!!! ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Beta: Mummy Tum Roz Papa Pe Eharh ke Jump Kyu Marti Ho? Mummy: PAPA Ke Pait Ki Hawa Nikalne K Liye Beta: Kia Faida Baraber Wali Aunty Muun Se Phir Hawa Bhar Deti Hai..... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Sardar: Gand Main Dard Hay DR: Main Hath Dalta Hon Batana Kaha Hain Sardar: Andar Aur Andar, Aor Andar , Han Yahain Dr : Dhosri K Tera To Gala Kharab Hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----If you want Suck the nipple of girl ,she always say why yours mother and sister r not living in ur home .u say yes but there is not child ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Life Without fun , Sky Without Sun , Ten without One , warrior Without Gun , Batsman without run, Is all Like a Man without LuN . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Advantages of breast milk? A) No need to boil. B) Cat can't steal it. C) Available in attractive containers. D) Popular in all age groups. E) Ek Pee Ek Free ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- Gabar se ronay ki wajah poochi.....usne kaha MAA ne danta hai.... MAA se poocha tau kehti hai.... MUJH SE POOCTA HAI KITNAY AADMI THAY.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----A 50 years old man during fucking an old woman of 90,starts suckung her breasts,after 10 min the man got died,police came and make postmartum report,in report it was written that the milk was xpired..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----A bio teacher was telling her students that for the best penetrations 6-7" PENIS IS best.ONE OF THE GIRL ASKD HER tht wht abt 9" .teacher said i m telling abt NECESSITY not LUXURY ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Man marries a deaf gal.he mimes,lets make a code! if i want sex i'll squeeze ur breast,in responce u can pull my penis once for YES and 50 times for NO. ;) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----ladki boli 200 loongi,HIL HIL k maza du gi...ladka bola 100 doonga HIL mein khud lu ga..ladki boli to phir ye 100 bhi bacha le aur hath se HILA le ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----A LADY GOES TO POLICE STATION AND LODGES A COMPLAINT:INSPECTOR SAHAB:AIK NAY MAIRAY BOOBS DABAYE.AIK NAY MAIRI GAAND MARI.AIK NAY MUJHAY CHODA.AIK NAY MUJHAY CHOOMA. INSPECTOR:BAS KAR.F.I.R LIKHWA RAHI HAI YA LUN KHARA KAR RAHI HAI! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----A Girl visit for a urione test. By mistake her reports change. Dr says her. U r pregnent. Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka b Barosa nahi raha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----what PEPSI stands for P=please E=enter P=penis S=slowly I=inside hahahah yeh dil magay more ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Women top 7 lies: 1: I love you 2: I am virgin 3: I hate sex 4: You are the first one touching me 5: Oh its too big? How wld it go inside? 6: I hate sucking 7: Alright - but u wld do it only once! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----2 girls returning 4m movie, 1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya. 2nd: Per tu to bra mein rakhti thi. 1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka, Yeh waqt hai baccha hone ka. Uss waqt kyon nahin royee thi, Jab chipak ke soyee thi. Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo, Tab to kehti thi aur karo, aur karo........ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Arz kiya hai.. College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho! Hum kya mar gaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----8 boy caught in RAPE case. lady lawyer holds his penis & says; kya yeh bacha rape kar saktah hai? Boy says silently: hila mat werna case haar jai GEE ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Janeman mujhe mar dalo .. zara meri pant ki jaab mai haath dalo... lamba lage to kaat dalo...... mota laaga tu chaat daloo.... acha laga tu apni gand main dalo... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----A man phoned and asked,'221714' ? Lady: Pls urdu mein bolo, Man: Do- Do-Ek-Sath-Choda ? Lady: "Nahein sir, ghalt kaha! yeah Teen-Teen-Ek- Sath-Choda hai" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Lady to man: why you always keep condom & taveez together in your wallet. Man: bhoot aur choot ka koi pata nahi kabhi bhi mil jaye. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----larka;dil karta hai tere zulfon mein kho jaoon...teri bahon mein jhull jaoonn....teri anchal mein soo jaoonnn larki;tou neechey kia muhaley wale ghuseinge ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- PART-III ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What Iz Da Diff. B/w "Hard Luck" N "Bad Luck"?... Ans=>Ek Larke Ne Akhbar Main Parha...Aaj Shaam 6 Baje Aasman Se 1000 Larkian Gand K Bal Zameen Per Girain Gi...Woh 5 Baje Se Paint Utar Ker Lund Khara Ker K Lait Jata Hai...6 Baje Larkian Girti Hain...Magar Koi Bhi Us K Lund Per Nahin Aati...Yeh Hoti Hai "HARD LUCK"... Next Day Akhbar Main Aata Hai...Aaj Ek Lund Aasman Se Gire Ga...Woh Larka Is Per Dhiyan Nahin Deta...Aur Nanga Gand Aasman Ki Taraf Ker K Sojata Hai...Ek Lund Aasman Se Girta Hai Aur Seedha Uski Gand Main Ghus Jata Hai...Yeh Hoti Hai "BAD LUCK"... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -1st Boy:Yaar Meri Gun Ka Scope Check Ker?... 2nd Boy:Waah Yaar Is Se To Bohat Door Ka Nishana Liye Jasakta Hai...Are Mujhe Tera Bedroom Bhi Nazar Araha Hai...Yeh Kia Teri Biwi Ek Pathan K Saath...Aur Donon Nange... 1st Boy:Acha Ek Kum Kaam Ker...Meri Biwi Ki Choot Per Aur Us Pathan K Lund Per Goli Maar... 2nd Boy:Fikar Na Ker...Donon Ek Hi Nishne Per Hain... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man: Yar tum ney apni biwi ko talaak kiu di ? Sardar: Yar woh bri character less thi.Shaadi mujh se ki aur bacha bhagwan se mangti thi. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - "ass" behind another "ass" and then "i" and then the whole "nation".Sardar ji teaching his son the spelling of "assassination" / ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 3 frnds talking abt AIDS 1st:Kabhi condom k bina krta nahin 2nd:Mei to ungli me b condom pehanta hoon Sikh:Mei to bilkul risk ne leta,parosi se krwata hun. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A sardar went to school for getting the report card of his son. Sardar: Madam kab dengi aap. Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Aik baap apnay betay ki shaadi karta hai !!! suhaagraat ko baap betay kay kamray kay keyhole say jhaankta hai to beta ful daba dab laga hota hai !!! baap ko bhi khuwaari charhti hai jaata hai aur apni begham pay shuru hojaata hai !! beta faarigh hota hai aur jaakay baap kay kamray main jhaankta hai to baa laga hota hai beta kehta hai laanat hai baap burha hogaya aur abhi tak laga hua hai !!! jaata hai aur phir shuru ho jaata hai!!!! baap aata hai dekhta hai aur jaakay ghussay main phir shuru hojaata hai!!!! teesri baar jab baap aata hai to aawaaz lagata hai betaaaaaaaaaa! ! beta :- jeeeee abbbbbbba baap :- beta kyun mazaak mazaak main apni maan chudwa raha hai !!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- aik dehaati( Villager ) SU SU ker raha hota hai. aik English man us se poochta hai. "yahan police nahin pakerti? he replied "nahin sahib yahan APNA khud hi pakerna perta hai!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Aik sardar jee apnay office say ghar aatay hain kisi kaam say jab nikaltay hain to boss office main naheen hotay!!!! ghar pohanchay to dekhtay hain kay unki biwi unkay boss kay saath bed pay sex kar rahi hai !!!! bhaagay aur waapis office!!! office pohanchay apnay aik couligue say kehtay hain kay yaar abhi ghar gaya tha meri biwi boss kay saath bed pay sex kar rahi thi !!!!!!!!! couligue poochta hai kay phir tunay kya kiya!!!??? sardar jee :- yaar acha hua main wahan say bhaag gaya warna pakra jaata na........hahaha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- GHABER:- YEAH HAT MUJHE DEDE THAKUR...... ..... THAKUR LE LE MAGR SHUBHA 8 BAJE MARI GAND DHONE AJAANA... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - 1 lerka 1 lerki ke pass jata haai or phooochta hai ke main 1 sawaaaaaaaal karoon bura to nahi lage ga.......... ....... lerki bolti hai nahi lage ga phooocho.... .... lerka bolta hai ke tumhari tango ke beeeech main kiya hai lerki boti hai lakeeeeeeeer. ....... pher lerki yeah hi sawaaaaaaal kerti ai to lerka khoooob soooooochta hai........ pher bolta hai lakeeeeeeeeeer ka fakeeeeeeeeer. ......... ... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- penis:Judg sab jab main payda howa to mayra gala kat diya gaya :jab bara howa to haton say mayra gala dabaya gaya :Shadi kay baad mujy kali surang main dala gaya :Akhir mayra kusor kya tha Judge :Baheanchod tu akarta ku tha :)) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 3 Facts of Life: Ghareeb aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai. Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai. Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- One boy to girl- kitni kaali ho tum. girl-isme tumhare baap ka kya gaya? Boy-agar mere baap ka gaya hota to tum itni kaali na hoti ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER in LIfE.. 01 Saanp aur chut, jahaan bhi milen maar do. 02 Zindagi aur jhaant uljhe hue hain, use suljhane ki koshish mat karna. 03 Samay aur chutiya, sab ka kat-ta hain. 04 Acchhi piyo kharab piyo, jab bhi piyo sharaab piyo. 05 Paani aur lund, apna rasta khud doondh lete hain. 06 Biwi aur gaadi, doosre ko doge to chud kar hi wapas ayengi. 07 Doodh aur gaand, jab phatthe hain to aawaaz nahi aati. 08 Rocket aur tharak, aadmi ko kahin bhi le jaa sakte hain. 09 Choochiyaan aur jazbaat, jitne dabaao utne hee ubhar aate hain. 10 Jhaante aur koylaa, hameshaa sulagte rahte hain. 11 tattey jitnaa bhi uchhal lein, rahenge hameshaa laude ke neeche hee! 12 Ladki kitni bhi lambi ho, mootegi to baith ke hi. 13 Land ko kitna bhi jhadkao, aakhri boond undi mein hi girti hai. 14 Chut chahe jitni bhi chaudi ho jaye, marni Lund se hi padegi. 15 Choochiyaan aur khaini, jitna ragdoge utna hi mazaa ayega. 16 Chut aur Daaru, kabhi bhee joothi nahi hoti hain. 17 Kutte ko mootne ke liye aur Ladki ko chudne ke liye, taang uthani hi padti hai. 18 Chut aur Bhut, Kismat walon ko hi dikhte hain. 19 Lohe par Hathoda aur Chut par Loda, tabhi maro jab garam ho. 20 Ladki aur Audio cassete, dono side se bajaana chahiye. 21 Exam ki taiyari mein ek ghanta aur daaru mein ek peg, hamesha kum padte hain. 22 Chut saal mein do hi baar maro, ek jis din baarish ho aur doosre us din jab baarish na ho. 23 Lund aur Ghamand, dono ko kaabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai. 24 Baagi aur mamme , jahan bhee mile , masal dene chahiye. 25 Samay se pahle aur Kismat se achhi chut, na kisi ko mili hai, na milegi. 26 Jab kismat mein likhe ho lode, to kahan se milenge pakode. 27 adami aur chuha hamesha chhed ki taraf bhagte hain 28 baasi choot aur purana akhbaar, jahan dikhe faad do! 29 hari jhandi aur randi ko dekte hi bhaag lo! 30 musibat aur lund kabhi bhi khade ho sakte hain! 31 Job aur gaand sabki kabhi na kabhi zaroor lagti hai. 32 Zaban aur lund dono me haddi nahi hoti 33 Nayee chute ka maza nau din tak hota hai! 34 Admi kitna bhi gora ho, lund baki badan se kala hi hota hai! 35 Dusre ki naukari aur dusre ki chokri hardam acchhi hi lagti hai! 36 Stree se aayu(age), purush se aay (income)aur sardar se kabhi time nahi puchhana chahiye! 37 Bhajan, Bhojan aur Chodan hamesha ekaant main karne chahiye. 38 Chut, Boot aur Rangroop ko jitna ragdoge utni hi chamak aayegi. 39 Chut, Chuchi aur Chilam jitni bhi pio kabhi Jhuthi nahin hoti. 40 Maango usi se jo de khushi se aur kahe na kisi se. 41 Jab bhi mile akeli, wo nahin to uski saheli,saheli nahin to apni Hatheli..... but have sex daily. 42 Kismat aur gaand kabhi bhi aur kahin bhi mar sakti hai. 43 Ladai aur chudai mein sab jaayaz hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- On their first night: Husband: Is it really your first night? Wife: No... No...Actually it is first time at night. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What's the similarity between drinking a coke & sucking a tall woman's tits? Piyo sar utha ke... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boy asks a girl: How much calcium is there in woman's Breasts? Girl: Woman's Breasts have enough calcium to help a Man's boneless thing standup! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye: Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho, and Raat bhar sone na de. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey? Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moujan hi moujan. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Beauty is to see & to touch, Flowers are to smell & to pluck, Nipples are to play & to suck, Women are to Love & to Fuck, All these are free but depends on Luck. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - What is the similarity between a bus conductor and a gay? Both shout: Peechey se Aaa ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant. Confused Banta: How the hell? Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Santa standing in balcony without shirt. Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai. Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni bharjai di dekh. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya. Santa: Tumne use roka nahi? Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Santa ki saali: Jijaji 500 Rs de do agley haftey dungi. Santa: Tu 1500 lele, magar abhi de. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai? Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom chadhaana. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta? Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What's the difference between Patiala Peg and Patiala Salwar? Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - PART-IV Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby. Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great. Jeeto: If it looks like you, it would be a miracle. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- During sex Jeeto asks repeatedly: Do you love me, do you really love me? Irritated Santa: What the hell do you think, I am doing pushups? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao. Santa: you naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Mother: Do you know the meaning of Mangalsutra? Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Wife n Mobile: 1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai. 2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai. 3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar shouted angerily to his wife: main teri GaNd mar dunga...sardar wise : kabi tu aage ki soch liya karue ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar ki gand phat gai .. Mochi ne see kar 25000/- ka bill de diya .. Sardar ne 50000/- de diye MOCHI:itne zyada kyoo de rahe ho ?? Sardar: tera bill dekh kar phir phat gai ha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl to her mother: Mama , main kaise paida hui thi? Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi. Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 1 punjabi 1 Sindhi or 1 PATHAN Dozakh main thae.or teenon ke khawahish the k woh zameen par ayeen. Akhir kaar un ko zameen par jany ke ijazat mil gaye but 1 shart par k woh zameen par ja kar koi khawish nahe karain ge .. agar unhon ne koi khawahish ke to Wapas DOZAKH main baij diye jayen ge. teenon punjabi pathan oor sindhi ja rahy thae k Sindhi ko book lag gaye oor uss ne Khana khany ke shadeed khawhish ke. jaisy he uss ne khawhish ke Sath main he Sindhi gayeeb ho giya. ab punjabi oor pathan reh gaye thae. Ab punjabi ne Zameen Par se Khuch uthany k liye neechy huwa.(RAKOO WALY HALAT MAIN) to jab woh seeda huwa to Peechy Se pathan Gayeeb ho chuka tha .. =)) Moral.. Pathan Ke Khawahish Bury Balaa hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Pregnant gal se Doc ne pucha: Yeh kab hua? Gal: Jab Mom and Dad film dekhne gaye the, mera friend ghar aaya tha. Doc: Tum saath kyon nahin gayi? Gal: Adult movie thi.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Bihari Babu: Arre O doctarwa, kaisa nasbandi kiye ho humaar? Biwi phir se maan banne wali hai. Doc: Hum nasbandi tohar kiya hoon pura Bihar ka nahin. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Lady: I'm warning you, my husband is coming back in half an hour. Man: But I'm not doing anything. Lady: That's why I'm warning you. Hurry up. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Which is the smallest hotel in the world? VAGINA INN. It can accomodate only one standing guest with his luggage hanging outside... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- One agent was tensed. Dealer: Kya hua? Agent: Main 6 mahine se tour pe hoon, aur meri biwi pregnant ho gai. Dealer: Ab pata chala bina order ke maal aaye to kaisa lagta hai... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- eik bhoot ne bhavan ki khidmat ke bhagvan ne khush hoker usse kaha maang tujhe kia maangna hai bhoot nay bhagvan se kaha mujhey khoobsurat lerkion ka khoon chosna hai bhagvan ne ussey 'Always ultra' bana deya ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 banana. fruit seller : i will not sell less than 12 bananas. 1 girl said : "le le yaar, 1 kha lenge" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- worried mother give her daughter a pack of condoms b4 a hot date......girl hugs and laughs at her mother and says-time changed mom, i am dating my girl friend ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Husband: Aj tak tum kitnay logoon k sath soii ho? Wife: Such boloon to sirf aap kay sath he soii hoon,baki sabhi k sath sari sri raat jagi hoon... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- MAN: KISS KAROON? GIRL: LIPSTICK KHARAB HO GE MAN: BOOBS DABAOON GIRL: SHIRT KHARAB HO GI MAN: FUCK!!! GIRL: PERIOD MAI HOON ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- SOOPER Biscuits Mama to Daughter: Beta kaisi ho? Daughter: sooper mama Mama:Chest kaisi hai? Daughter: sooper mama Mama: or GAND Daughter:Woh to hay hi SOOPER Mama: Beta pata hai hum nay tumharee mangni PATHAN say tay kar dee hai. Daughter: sooper mama, hoon...kya?? ? pathan hai? Please aisa na karain ,wo sirf gand maray ga.Aap nani kaisay bano ge.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Degrees Of Girls B.a = Beautiful Angel B.e = Beautiful Eyes B.sc = Beautiful Structure B.l = Beautiful Lips M.b.a = Married But Available ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A lady gives a 5ooRs note to a shopkeeper. shopkeeper said> Did u placed it in ur bra? Lady said> How do u know? shopkeeper> bcoz Mahatama gandhi's mouth is open ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Chacha, chachi dono lafange Bistar pe lete dono nange Chachi ko lagi thund Chache ne nikaala lund Chachi boli "Yeh kya"? Chacha bola "Machine gun" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Aik bus mai boys ki team or gulz ki team tyar hueen antakshari khelne k leayay Girls: Hum tumhain hara kar dikhayenge Boys: Hum har gayay. chalo ab dikhao :) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl: Mummy, jab mein susu karti hoon tou seeti ki awaaz aati hai. Aap ki aati hai? Mummy : Beta pehle meri bhi aati thi, abh tumhare papa ne baja baja ke kharab kardi hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- aik dafa aik sperm ne dosry se kaha ... me bara ho ker dockter bano ga... dosry ne kaha me pilot bano ga.... suddenly... man musterbateted. ..bohot faal in flush....dono ne awaz lagai..... bhenchod ke buchay .... sary... career ki maa chode... heheheheheh ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A crow shits on a sardar.Sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji. sardar says: Ab kis ki gand poonchu, kawwa to udd gya. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man 2 wife : business is going down,if u learn to cook,we can remove bavarchi. wife : asshole,if u learn to fuck, we can remove driver,gardner & watchman!!!! !!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Panties:Q:What is the difference between panties of 1970 and panties of 2004? A:In 1970 you have to pull down the pantie to see the buttocks. In 2004 you have to seperate the buttocks to see the pantie. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She said, ''Daddy, what is sex?'' The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'' When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. Her father said, ''Why did you ask that question, honey?'' She replied, ''Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar on bike and a Pathan on a truck. Both were waiting at a traffic signal. Pathan trying to make fun of sardar" are aye sardar jab head mein khujli hoti hai to helmet utar ke kyun nahi karte" sardar replies "sade pathan, jab leg pe khujli hoti hai, to pant utar ke kyun nahi karta" Signal turn on and sardar goes on. on another road Pathan says to Sardar " are aye sardar, jab ek helmet(pagdi) pehna hai to doosra kyun pehna hai" sardar says "oye pathan, jab underwear pehna hai to pant kyun pehna hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- To Avoid Doctor's Fees ,,, Sardar Jee After Eye Operation ... Doctor: Dheerey dheery apni aankhain kholiye ... sardar : mujeh dikhaayi nahi dey raha .... doctor: asked a nurse to undress in front of him ... sardar : mujhe kuch dikhaayi nahi dey raha ... docotor : ask nurse to open her legs in front of him ... sardar: mujhe kuch dikhaayi nahi dey raha ... docotor : aby jhootay .. madarchod .. agar tujhe nazar nahi aaraha to tera lund kese khara ho gayaaa !! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardarji is irritated of jokes made on him.So He goes 2 his wife and says"Tell me 1 joke in which i am not involved".Wife said:-I"m Pregnant!? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 1:Height of Honesty: A pregnant woman asking the bus conductor for >>one & a half ticket. >> >> >>2:Height of patience: A female lying naked under a banana tree and >>hoping for banana to fall in the right place. >> >> >>3:Height of Confusion: Two earthworms making love in a bowl of >>noodles. >> >> >>4:Height of revenge: A bastard roaming in a condom factory with a >>needle in his hand >> >> >>5:Height of pain: A monkey sliding down a knife's edge using balls >>as his brakes. >> >> >>6:Height of Foolishness: A guy peeping thru' the keyhole of a glass >>door. >> >> >>7:Height of Noise: Two skeletons fucking on a tin roof. >> >> >>8:Height of Innocence: A teenager girl applying Clearasil to her >>nipples thinking them as pimples. >> >> >>9:Height of Itch: A fat man hanging (upside down) from a roof >>trying to scratch his balls. >> >> >>10:Height of laziness: A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an >>earthquake to do the rest. >> >> >>11:Height of Unemployment: Cobwebs in prostitute's cunt. >> >> >>12:Height of Competition: A guy peeing beside a waterfall. >> >> >>13:Height of Bravery: A naked man bending over to pick up a >>quarter on an island of gays. >> >> >>14:Height of Sophistication: Sucking nipples with a straw. >> >> >>15:Height of Technology: Condom with zip. >> >> >>16:Height of Darkness: A negro searching for his penis in a dark >>room. >> >> >>17:Height of fashion: A female applying Lipstick to her vertical >>Lips. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- KBC..HOST!AMITAB BACHAN to sardar g:wat iz the color of your wife's bra A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink sardar G: can i call a friend? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- NA HUM AIDS SE DARTE HAYN AUR NA HUM CONDOM SE KARTE HAYN HUM TU DUNIYA SE DARTE HAYN IS LIE HATHOON SE KARTE HAYN HAPPY MUTH DAY :) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Q:Who's senior: Penis or Vagina? A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ek patient doctor kay pass jaata hai aur kehta hai doctor sahib mera ek tatta neela (blue)ho gaya hai doctor kehta hai:yeh to bara masla hai ap ko operation karwa kar yeh tatta nikalwaana parey ga patient kehta hai k "NHI" doctor samjhaata hai k tumhain apni zindagi pyari hai ya apna tatta patient kehta hai zindagi doctor us ka operation kar deta hai aur tatta nikaal deta hai 3 din k baad patient dobaara aata hai aur kehta hai "doctor sahib mera doosra tatta bhi neela ho gaya hai" doctor kehta hai oh oooo...ap ka phir se operation karna parey ga aur doosra tatta bhi nikaalna parey ga patient kehta hai "nhi" doctor us ko razi kar leta hai aur doosra tatta bhi nikaal deta hai 3 din k baad woh phir aata hai aur kehta hai k doctor sahib mera lund bhi neela ho gaya hai doctor kehta hai k yeh bemaari to bari khatarnaak lagti hai ap ka lund bhi kaatna parey ga patient kehta hai "MUJHE PEHLE BHI APNI WIFE SE MAAR PARI HAI AB TO WOH MUJHE GHR SE NIKAAL DE GI" doctor kehta hai k ap pareshaan mat ho main us ki tarah ka doosra laga doo ga.aur us ka operation kar deta hai 3 din k baad woh banda phir aata hai aur kehta hai k doctor sahib ap ne jo new lund lagaya tha woh bhi neela ho gaya doctor ko gussa aata hai aur kehta hai k apni pent utaroo phir doctor us ki under wear ko haat lagata hai aur guzzay se kehta hai "BHARWAY...GANDOO. ...DALLAY. .... TERA TO UNDER WEAR COLOR CHOOR RAHA HAI"...... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara, Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- raat ki tanhayaan tail ki chiknayan uthao botal tail ki musaratoon k khel ki na koi munda na koi run apna hath aur apna hi lun YEHI TO HE WO APNA PUN ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A Very sexy and attractive Female Employee meets her boss and says:: "Sir!will u remove something from my Breast? BOSS:"Wow wats that?" "Your eyes Sir!!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Fuck is good Fuck is funny Lots of ppl Fuck 4 money If u think that fuck is funny FUCK urself and save ur money ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Wife : Thora aram se karo EXPRESS chala rahy ho Husband: to kya mallgari Chalaon? Itnay main munna bed se gir jata hai and bolta ha jo marzi chalao par musafer to na girao ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl : Mom , Jony asked me to climb. MoM: You fool he wanted to see your underwear.. Girl: I Know but i fooled him . I removed my underwear before climing ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar ji ko sarak k kinaray peeshab kartay dehk kar 1 larki rasra badalnay lagi. Sardar ji bole , " DARYE MAT AP JIS SE DAR RAHI HAIN USEY MAIN NE PAKRA HUA HA " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - PART-V ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Dunya k 5 Asool: 1. Paani aur lan apna rasta hud banaty hain!!!!!!!! !!!!!! 2.Doodh Phantny aur gand phatny ki awaz kabhi nahi aati!! 3.Jazbat aur mummy jitna dubao utna ubharty hain!!!!!!!! ! 4.Biwi aur gari kisi ko na do..hamesha chud ker wapis mily gi! 5.sSanp aur phudi jahan mily mar do!!!!!!!!!! !! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- "Ooee sardar g apni biwi ko itni dard main Hospital ki bajaye PIZZA HUTT kioon le kar ja rahe ho??????" SARDAR: "kioon k PIZZA HUTT main delivery FREE he" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Teacher: Dunya main sab se halki cheez kon si he?????? Student: "ji Lun!!" Teacher: "Woh kaise?" Student: Jo cheez sochny se bhi uth jye uss se halka aur kia cheez ho sakti he" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Zindgi ki 5 aham batain: 1.Kismat aur gand kahin bhi khul sakti he 2.Pareshani aur lulli kahin bhi khari ho sakti he 3.Ghareeb aur mummy hamesha dubaye jate hain 4.Dodh aur choot phatny ki awaz nahi hoti 5.Sanp aur choot jahan mily wahan mar do warna koi aur mar de ga!!!!!!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar: "yaar meri biwi pani se bohat darti he" Friend: "acha ! woh kaise" Sardar: "Yaar kal main ghar aya to woh bath tub main bhi security guard k sath bethi thi!!!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar G: "Doctor sb kamzori bohat he" Doctor: "Doodh duba ker piya kro" Sardar G: "Doctor sb doodh to bohat zyada peeeta hun magar woh zyada dubane nahi deti!!!!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- man goes to buy condom Salesgirl: "May i hold u penis for size?" She orders: "give him small" Wait!!!! "give him medium" Wait!!!! "give him large" SHIT!!!! "give me a tissue!!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Callgirl "Sardar g ! sx kro ge" Sardar g "bilkul, but meri wife ki tarah kro gi" "haan kroon gi, but woh kaise kerti he" "moft main!!!!!!!! " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Judge: "why did u kill ur husband" Lady: "He called me from office.... Took me to bedroom.... Removed my cloths.... Laid me on the bed.... Spread my legs.... and said.... APRIL FOOL!!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 1st Kid "meri mom jadugar he" Jab woh papa k nunu ko chooti he to woh bara ho jata he 2nd Kid: meri mom jab papa k nunu pe bethti he to woh gyeb ho jata he!!!!!!!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A sweet girl goes to Banta shop and said "mujhy underwear dikhao" Banta. sharmate hoe "aaj pehan ker nahi aya!!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A boy asked his girl friend to play wd his penis Its her first time........ ......... After sometime she asked "wat r these drops coming out?" Boy "khushi k aansoo hain!!!!!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl: I'm like Radio, My left nipple is volume And right is tuner Boy turns both but there is no sound!!!!! Girl: Stupid neeechy plug kia tera baap lagaye ga... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Bhosri Plaza Hotel "MENU CARD" :-grilled mummay :-achari lun :-phudi of the day :-tandoori bund :-lullian sirky wali :-chilly chot :-tattay mughlai :-gori bund da halwa :-nargasi tattay :-phuddy pakaora :-lun falooda :-mard makhan naan :-afghani gand kabab :-daighy mummay :-lun khara masala :-bhosri fried rice ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A nurse comes in doctors room Doctor asked "why is ur one boob out of ur shirt" Nurse: these medical students never keep things at place after use!!!!!!!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- YOUNGER BROTHER TO ELDER SIS: "WHY ARE MOM AND DAD IN THE ROOM FOR THREE DAYS?" ELDER SIS REPLIES LAUGHING: "DAD HAD ASKED ME FOT VASLINE BUT I GAVE THEM ELFY BY MISTAKE"!!!! ! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Once all Eggs in women Pussy desided to fight against sperms. They waited with guns in the pussy . That night no one came.. Suddenly 1 shouted : HAMLA PEACHAY SE HUA HAI ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl and Boy lost in a Jungle: after two days of struggle for food and water, girl said: dear plz fuck me Boy said Why ? girl Said: abay kuch to ander jayega ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boyefriend Fingering his Girlfriend Girl: Aah .. Take Off Your ring its Hurting me... Boy: Honey Its not my ring, its my wrist watch ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Yeh Larkiyaan Kitni Chalaak hoti hain...Apna 18 Rupiye liter walay doodh ka thaila dikha kar... Aap Ka 180 rupiye Litre Wala Ghee Nikaal Leti hain ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Maa: Beti Wo Larka thik Nahi Jise tu chahti Hai, Beti : Nahi Maa wo Doctor Banega. Usnay to meri wo bemari bhi thik kardi jo mujhe har mahine hoti theee ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Quote Of the Day " Paisa Gand Ki tara Hota hAi .. Hota sab Ke Pass Hai par Dena Koi NahI chatha " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag ke parde ke peeche chup jati hai. Husband: Kya hua? Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sabse bara TERRORIST Kaun? AURAT! jo Har raat ek TOWER ko gira deti hai Sab se Bara BUILDER kaun? MARD! Jo agli raat phir Aus Tower ko Khara kar deta ha:) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- DR: A Penis is the greatest breakfast b'coz it has a Mushroom head, a hotdog , 2 eggs , and cream which provides all the nutrients 2 make women healthy. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl Asked Plastic surgeon 2 make another hole near her ass surgeon was surprised and asked why? girl: Business is gud so opening a new branch " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di .. 2 din baad pucha ,ab tu sab theek ha ? Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Marzi se ho sex tu paap nahi hota Kunwari se ho tu mood kharab nahi hota condom zarur lagana mere dost kyunke us time LORAY ke Pass DAMAGH nahi hota ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A Girl after talking Sardar's dick in her mouth , 1000 nikal warna kaat lungi sardar : 500 mujhe de warna peeshaab kar donga ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Husband: Shadi k baad zindagi kutte jaisi ho gayi hai Wife: Kutte se kya barabari karoge , woh to 1 ghenta phasa k rakhta hai tumhari to 1 min main gand phat jati ha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Husband: Begum Neeand Nahi aa rahi Sex Ho Jaye? Wife: Madarchood Meri choot k andar teri maa lori de rahi hai jo tujhe neeand a jaye gi? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A 75 Years Old Man talking to his penis We were born togather , grown up togather , enjoyed life togather , Then why did u die before me? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Teacher ne pocha Aisi Konsi cheez hai jisay tum log dekh sakte ho par pakar nai sakte? student" MADAM APP KE MAMAY ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Interview:Sardar g batao Konsi cheez tez chalti hai aur jis k 4 payen hain Sardar: CAR Interviewer: Galat, Honda Car Ok next Woh Kia hai jis k 2 payen hain aur bohat tez chalti hai Sardar: Motor Cycle Interviewer : Galat Yamaha Motor Cycle Now sardar went mad aur bola Interview gaya bhosray main ab mere sawal ka jawab do Sardar : Idher baal Udhar baal Beach main chaid Interviewer : CHOOT sardar: Nahi Galat " TERI MAA KI CHOOT ' ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Hasband raat ko wife ko kar raha tha,kartai kartai papo ki ankh khol gai papo apni maa ko dekh kar wash rööm main chala gaya Muth marnai laga baap naydekha to poucha kya kar rahai ho papu; apna kam khud karta hon kisi ke maa nahi chodta. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Reena-'What is difference between Boys & Girls?' Tina-'Boys R naughty,We R Beauty.They R Lyer,We R Fire.They've chest,We've Breast.They' ve Muscle,we've nipples.they' ve night fall,we've 2 big balls.they've a pole,we've a big hole.they can fight, we can bite.they can fuk,we can suck. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Kabhi tu lee hogi suraj ne chand ki, Tabhi tu chand main daag hai, Mumkin hai chand ne dubara nahi dee hogi, Tabhi tu suraj main aag hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Baluchi: Hamare raigistan mein 'khushamdid' bolo to vapis awaz aati hai ...amdid...amdid. Pathan: khocha, hamare paharo mein 'i luv u' bolo to vapis awaz aata hai ..luv u...luv u.Punjabi: Ae keri gal hai paa ji. Saday pind di gali vich awaz maro 'teri maa di', te vapas awaz aandi hai 'teri pehn di'.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Raat k 2 bajay bahoo k kamray se aik aadmi nikla aur bhaag gya.. Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na kaha . .. . . . . . kyon k saas bhee kabhee bahu thee! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Qissa aik Chudai ka. Pehlay gaand pe kaat liya humnay. phir phuddi ko chaat liya humnay. Phir diya hontoun pe namkeen bhosa, bari daer talak mammo ko choosa, Ungli kar k paani diya nikaal, boli wo tarap k jaldi se daal, Josh-e-shevat main loray ko rakha choot pe, dono haath jama diye us k doodh pe, Zabt ka bandhan achanak toot gaya, chudai se pehlay bahar hi chhot gaya ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Chachi to Bhatija: hum chaat ki dukan kholenge, Lekin gaahak kaise ayenge.Bhatija to Chachi:Mein advrtsmnt karunga k '10 rupaye me Chachi ki Chat lo'. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boy 2 girl ladkiyan rukhsati k waqt roti Q hain.Girl say!Abay chutiah agar tujhay pata ho k koi tujhe ghar se dur le ja k teri gaand maray ga to kia tu nachega? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What is pure Hindi name of Condom?? Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man gives blood 2 his Girlfriend.later on they split up & man wants blood back.she throws a used paad 2 him & says: i wil pay u monthly ,u bastard. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Malang:-Beta Hamesha Apne Se Badi Ko Maa,Choti Ko Beti,Barabar Wali Ko Bahen Maano!Boy:-Baba ji,phir ye LORA aap Hi Rakh lo,bhaang Kootnay K Kaam aye ga... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - gal:hw many siblings u hav? boy:m d nly 1 gal:kyun? baap me dum nehi tha kya? boy:n how many r u? gal:8 boy:kyun?baap ko aur koi kaam nehi tha kya? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Ek admi jaldi jaldi ladies toilet main ghus gya, ek aurat chillaye ;u idiot ye ladies k lye hai,Aadmi pant utaar k bola ye bhi ladies k liye hai !!........ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - PART-VI ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Dracula: Main tumhara khoon peena chahta hoon Girl: Pehlay batana tha na aaj hi band hua hay ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A Guy picks up a girl for the date. "Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee?" Girl: "I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Lady : "I want a good vibrator"; Salesman: "Ma'am you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall"; Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one"; Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher" ; ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Teacher:"Why did you bring your cat to school?" Pupil : "Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sex se pehle kapde utarte samay biwi gir gayi.Husbnd: JAAN .... lagi to nahi?Sex ke baad kapde pehante samay.. fir gir gayi.Husbnd: ANDHI HAI Kya BEHANCHOD ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Arz kiya hai.. Teer kya chalati ho, dhaar to talwar main hai, Teer kya chalati ho, dhaar to talwar main hai. Dupatay sa kya chupati ho maal to SHALVAR mai hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - WIFE :- Wonderful Instrument For Entertainment ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ek aadmi bhagwan ke pas jata haui .. aur kehta hai .. aye bhagwan mujhe 100 lund de dey ... bhagwan uss ko 100 lund de deta hai .. wo khushi khuhsi jaa raha hota hai . peechey se bhagwan ki awaz ati hai ... ruk bhousrike .. yeh 200 tatte tera baap le kar jayega ??? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ek sawal�.14 feb valentines day ko loog aisa kiya kartay hain k theek 9 months kay baad 14 nov ko CHILDRENS DAY manana parhta hai�. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Kareena adapted 1 yr old baby.1 day baby cry: Mama I need milk.Kareena: " Beta tum ab bare hogai ho khana khao.Baby:" Agar pilla nahi rahi to plz dikha he do. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl: Mujhe BRA Chahiye ShopKeeper: 36 chalegi? Girl: nahi, isse choti.. ShopKeeper: 32 chalegi? Girl: nahi, isse choti.. ShopKeeper: 28 chalegi? Girl: nahi, isse choti.. ShopKeeper: Madam, Band-Aid laga lo.. pimple hua hai.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- fastest centuries Shahid Afridi = 37 balls Jaysurya = 48 balls Ijaz ehmad = 59 balls But Dhritrashtra= only in 2 balls!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- "Every man" is a "terrorist" for "woman" first he "destroy" her "two towers" then he "attack" on her "pentagon" then Puts "Mesile" in her "white house". ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl goes to repair umbrella. Umbrella man says, UPER KA KAPDA HATANA PADEGA AUR NICHE SE RODE DAALNI PADEGI. Girl syas, DO ANYTHING BUT PAANI ANDER NAHI AANA CHAIYE ! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boy ask girl : why there is sound when u urinate? Girl replies: we don't have 8 inch silencer like U........... ..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful. Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don�t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Teacher key barrey boobs dekh kar aik student bola, ismain kitna calcium hay? Teacher : ismain itna calcium hay ki bina hadi wala LUND bhi khada ho jay!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- in chemistry class teacher ask a girl : "what is "NITERATE"? girl : sir NITE K 1500/ rs n hotel k alag se ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- "MOTO RAZR" aur "MOTO KRZR" ki shandar kamyabi k baad ab pesh hai "MOTO BRAZeR" Characteristics: 1-itna slim k boobs k beech asani se aa jaye, na chori ka dar na cheene jane ka dar 2- 5.6 mega pix camera Brazier k ander tak dikhai 3- iska taakatwar vibrating system DOODH ko LASSI banaye. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- a bee entered into wife vagina by mistake.husband took her 2 doc..Doc: i ve an idea.lets pour sum honey on the dick like dis n insert into vagina like dis n immediatly pull out whn the bee comes near.bt doc penetrats mor n mor. husband noticed tht doc is getting excited doing all.Husband: wat r u doing?? Doc: ''Plan Change, i'll kill the bastered inside'' ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 1 Andhi larki pehli daffa sex karwa rahi thi,jab maza aaya tu poocha"yeh neechay kia latak rahay hain?Larka bola,yeh tattay hain.Andhi boli,yeh andar nahi dalnay hotay?Larkay nay keha,nahi yeh baahir hi rahtay hain Andhi boli,"khayal karna,andhi mohtaaj ka haq na maarna ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- To, The Principal Phuddi public school, punjaaab city. Sir Main 16 saal di haseenkuri hoon te main 8v class vich parhdi c.Mere mammay bare ho jane di waja se menu sidhe 10v class vich kar dita. Meri brassier da no.34 haiga te roll no. v 34 hi hai. Gal eh hai k kal main school nu aarahi c , menu raaste vich 4 mundiyaan ne phar liya te meri fuddi de naal meri bhund v phaar ditti . Is liye main 2 din school nahi aa sakdi thank u ur's obiently , bholi ......... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- EK Sardar g ki biwi mar gaye doston ne poocha kaise mar gayee? sardar g : mun vich mun c , phuddi vich lun c , bhund vich ugali c . pata nahi rooh kithooon nikal gaye ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Be gharz zindagi main Armaan Bosri ka Gand K peechay hai pathan Bohosri ka Wo Rubber ki Chootain Wo Plastic K Loray Kia Kia bana raha Hai Japan Bhosri ka Wo Lahore ki Heera Mandi or Us pe Chikni Randi Mashooor hai is waja se Pakistan Bhosri ka Wo Charas ki Rodain Wo Sharab ki botlain Kia Kia Pee Raha hai Insaan Bhosri ka ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boy to Barber : Jhant k baal katne k kitne loge ? Barber : 100 rs Girl : aur mere kitne loge ? Barber : 150 rs Girl : mere 150 kion ? Barber : larkon k paas handel hai aur aap k pakarne ki jaga nahi hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Suhag raat ko Sardar g ne Apni Biwi k peeche dala to Biwi boli : Sardar g Peeche nahi Aage Daalte hain Sardar g : tum ko kaise pata ? Biwi : ek dafa mujhe 4 aadmi utha k le gaye thay , sab ne aage hi dala tha Sardar g : mujhe bhi utha k le gaye thay , mujhe to peeche dala tha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 3 Girls Class main baatain ker rahi theen Ek ne kaha : Maine sir ki table pe condom dekha Dosri boli : main us main sorakh ker diya Teesri boli : Oooh Shit marawa diya na yaar ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut. Mommy: U mean it's small? Little Girl: No, it's salty. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A kiss is called humanity if its on cheek, love if on lips, passion if on breast, humor if on navel, sex if on vagina and called bravery if its on ass hole. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of refrences! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- agar bura na mano tu raat ko light off rukhna,kameez ko otar kaar shalwar ko dhela rukhna,bed ko single kaar kar kundee ko off rukhna,chut pay malish kaar kay level tu saath rukhna, aaaahhhhh aaj kuch josh zayada hay apne gaand ko tayar rukhna,tera tu kaar doon ga kaam sara meray lund ka kheyal rukhna,tere chut ko milay ga sakoon meray lund ka istemal ruukhna,lund daekh kaar bayhoosh na ho jao es leay light off rukhna,., ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Chaho to humko bhula dena.Chaho to hamara naam dil se mita dena.Par jab tanhai me hamari yaad aye to rona mat.Sirf 1 baar gand me ungli daal ke hila lena! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- one day after office boss starts fuck her secaratery meanwhile his wife call n ask where r u he replies i m very buzy with an client. after fuck he reach home his wife ask wy u r so tired he reply "TUMHE KAISE SAMJHAON CLIENT KO SATISFY KERNE K LYE KITNI MAHNAT KERNI PARI" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Phoolon say achi us ki CHOOT, Kaliyon say pyari us ki GAAND, Sitaron say chamaktay hovay Mum'may, Koyal si meethi zabaan, Chand bhi chup jaye yeh keh kar, Aasmaan par ab kya hai mera kaam, Chandni to aa nikli zameen say, kaisi hai yeh kudrat ki shaan, Fursat say banaya hoga rab nay, Farishton ka nahin yeh kaam, Mitti say bane hain hum sab, Us mein sonay ko milaya hoga, Hooron nay bhi hasrat say dekha hoga, Pariyon say sundar yeh insaan, Alfaaz bhi kum parte hain kehne ko.. AAISI HAI MERI JAAN ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Santa: chicken kaise diye? Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10 Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon? Sir ise AIDS hai. Santa: De do mujhe khana hai gaand thodi marni hai! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai. Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Santa raping a gal in car. A cop came & said: What r u doing? Santa: I'm raping her. Cop: Ok, I'm next. Santa: Fine, but I have never raped a cop before. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Pappu: Dad, today they taught about Sex in the class. Santa: Ok son. Later he saw Pappu shaking his penis, he asked what r u doing? Pappu: Homework Dad. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - PART-VII ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 4 Nuns in a que to Confess.. 1st : Father, I saw a penis.. Father: don't worry child, go and wash ur eyes with the holy water. 2nd: father, I touched a Penis.. Father: don't worry child, go and wash your hands with the holy water. Suddenly the 4th nun runs to the holy water.. Father: Hey. where are you going..? 4th nun: I wanna gargle with that holy water before the 3rd SisTer puts Her ASS in iT... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A Gunman Stops a car and asks the Man to Masturbate.. Scared Driver obeys.. This continues for 6 times Till the driver has no energy Left.. Gunman says. "Now, give Lift to my DaughTer ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Lady sends Panties to dhobi for washing but the stains didn't go.. So, the lady sends a note to the dhobi which reads.. "kapde theek se dhoya karo", for which the dhobi replies.. "GAAND THEEK SE DHOYA KARO... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Wife: Whenever I sing, why do you go outside and stand..? Husband: To Ensure that our neighbours don't think that I am fucking you forcibly... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Song from Movie Machis... Chunni Leke Soti Thi Kamaal Lagti Thi... "Lo KarLo BaaT.. Sirf Chunni Leke Soyegi ToU KamaaL hE LaGeGi Na..." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Man: Behanji, mere biwi k liye eik AchA sa BRA Dikhaana... Woman: Size kya hai..? Man: Pakdo Tou AnDa.. auR ChoDo Tou OmLette... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- AsLi hero kaun..? Jo chemist shop mein jaake sabhi BranDs k CondoM Nikaalne k baad ek select karey.. Aur chemist se poochE... . . . TRIAL ROOM KAHA HAI ??? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A toilet is like a commnunity meeting. People come with lot of pressure, sit, create lot of noise and ultimately DROP THE MATTER...! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 1st Lady: Did you know that lions have sex 4 to 6 times in one night..? 2nd Lady: Oh no, I just joined the Rotary club, i should have joined the Lion's Club... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Gabbar: Basanti Potty Ker Veero: Nahi Basanti In Kutton K Saamne Potty Mat Kerna Ye Tujhe Paani Nahi Denge Aur Teri Gaand Mujh Se Chatwayenge ..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A. Call her and tell her dat� "I m HaVing Sex Wid UrBest Friend �." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Memon weekly chaklay ja k rate malum karta tha.... Dost:Jab tu kuch kerta nahi hay to rate kyun puchta hay...??? Memon:Check kerta hun k biwi mehengi tou nahi per rahi....... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Chidambaram asks a Rand: Kitna leti ho..? Rand:Aage se Rs 200 piche se Rs 220. Chiddu: piche ka zyada kyu? Rand:10 takka aapka TURNOVER Tax. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Khobsurti Aishwariya Pe Khatam Acting Shahrukh Pe Khatam Singing Lata Pe Khatam Bharam Munna Bhai Pe Khatam Orr Aap " MUTH " Mar Mar K Khatam ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A Scientist has Invented a New Bra .. Which Stop Boons From Bouncing While Running & Does'nt Show Nipples When Wet . DONT WORRY The BASTARAD HAS BEEN KILLED. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Interviewer: aap kisi larki mein sab se pehle kya dekhte hain? Sardar: O..ji..depend karta hai k wo aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What's d heights of tension? When U Get 2 C Cleavage of Sexy Teacher Sitting Right In front of U, During Last 5 Minutes Of Exam & U Got 2 Write a Lot To Pass..... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Aaloo lo Bhindi lo Bengan lo Gobi lo Kadu lo Kele lo Tamatar lo Karele lo Jo marzi lo Bund tuhadi hai...... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Prostitute: doc, my hole is too big. Doctor looks into the hole & says: Oh My GODNESS...GODNESS. .. GODNESS... Prostitute: Why are you repeating the words ??? Doctor: It was an ECHO! ..... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- There Is A Nerve Which connectes ur Asshole To ur Eyes Called Anal Optic Nerve ,, Don't Believe ??? Pull A Hair From Ur Ass Hole & See Tear Coming From Ur Eyes ... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Patle Patle Chotron Ko Hum Phula Dege. Gol Gol Mumoon ko HumDaba Dege. Ap Hamara 1 Bar Le Ke To Dekho Chod Chod Ke Apki Gand Sujha DEGE.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Super thought for the nyt .. "Love is Very Deep.. But Sex Has To Go Only A Few Inches" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Fuck is easy, f@#k is funny, anybody fuck for money, if you think that fuck is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Lady Patient: Doctor I can't take off my clothes for the check up becuz I am too shy. Doctor: No Problem! I shall put the lights out. Lady patient (after taking the clothes off): Doctor! Where am I supposed to hang them? Doctor: On the hook behind you where I hung mine! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man To Pathan : Have you ever Fucked your girlfriend in the other hole? Pathan : Are you mad? She"ll get pregnant ......... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Ye Hafta Kaisa Guzre Ga.... Choootyape K Kaamo'n Me Dhyan Rahega Lund Pe Pakar Dheeli Rahegi Choot k Darshan Bohat Mushkil Hain Aur Larki Cherne Se Guraiz Karen Q k Aap Ki Gand Phatne K Imkaan Hai Larki K Bhai Se .... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A gy Walk Into A Local Pharmacy & Walks Up To The Counter Where Lady Pharmacists Is Filling Preception When She Finally Gets Around To Him He Sys : I'd Likt 99 Condom Plz Lady Pharmacist Suptises & Says : FUCK MEE...!!! Boy Replies: Ok, Make It 100 .... ;-> ThaT's The Spirit .... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Keera mat maro, Makora mat maro, Makkhi mat maro, Marna hi hai to ? Muth maro pap nahi lagega..... Jai muth . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Teacher:Laden ki5 biwiya or20 bache,Lalu ki1 biwi or9 bache to batao in dono me se koun achha? Baccha:score to laden ka jyada hai par average lalu ka achaa hai......... . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Why are condoms only sold in packets of 3 and 12? Because 3 are for young ppl like me (morning,afternoon, night) n 12 for old ppl ,like u Jan,feb,mar, apr,.... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boss To Secretory : Book My Ticket For London .... Aur Suno Mera Naam "D.K.BOSE" Likhwana ...??? Werna Airport Pe Mera Naam "BOSE.D.K" Announce Hota Hai ..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Can u Repeat This Fast ..... "Chandu K Chacha Ne Chandu Ki Chachi Ki Choot Chaati, Tou Chandu Ki Chachi Chillayi, Chutiye Choot Chatna Chor Aur Condom Charha K Chod " ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Raat K Andhere Main Sardar: Ye Condom Itna Chota Aur Sakht Kion Hai...??? Wife: O Bina Dimag K Janwar... Wo Bachay K Doodh Peenay Ka Nip[ple Hai Utaa Usay ..... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Gabbar-Ye gaand mujhe de de thakur!! THAKUR- Dekh gabbar,haath tak to theek tha, magar " BUND PANGA "mujhe pasand nahin....... ..!!! ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- INDIA KI REET... Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR... Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR... Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... aur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby. She said, Lets start with the boys first. Boys start giving their intro... First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub. Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting. Well, Ok. Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John. Yes next. Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub. Teacher now got surprised and said, Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next. Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub. Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next. This continues... and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub. Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please. First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds. Teacher: Good. At last I got something different. Ok next. Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes. Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you... Most beautiful girl of the class: Mam, my name is BUBBLE , and my hobby is to take bath three times a day. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Priest Was Rubbing Nun's Thigh,Nun:"Plz Read Bible Verse 89 " Priest Ashamed,Apologises Goes Home.Read Bible Verse 89. It Reads:" Go Higher To Find Glory ". ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Science teacher:agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi. Student:par sir use attack kaise dilaya jaye?. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Chinkoo Finkkoo Antar Mantar Pichoo Fishoo Shoof ....!!! Kuch Mehsoos Hua .....???? Nahi na .... !!!! Jadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Bataya Tha K Ye Jadu Gaandu Pe Asar Nahi Kerta.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What's NasBandi...? ? Jab Aap Ki Aadat Ho Gandi Peetay Ho Daaru Thandi Jaate Ho Heera Mandi Uthate Ho Dandi Phir CHodte Ho Randi Tab Kerni Hoti Hai Nasbandi.... .. ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girl: Doctor Me Jab Bhi Su-Su Karti Hoon Tou 4 Dhaar Nikalti Hai After Chcking Doctor Said: 4 Dhaar Hi Niklengi, Andar Kisi Ki Pent Ka Button Phansa Hua Hai ...... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boy: Teri Phuddi De Har Zakhm Te MEra Naa Hona, Mera Kuj Nahi Jana Tera Hi Naam Badnaam Hona Hai Girl: Mere Pra V Pehle Menu Hi Marenge Kanjran Hans Na Bhund Te Teri Vi Pharainge.. ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Student: Miss Choot Aur Chooter Me Kia Farq Hota Hai....??? Miss:Beta, Jis Jaga Insan Ka Lund Jaye Wo Choot Hoti Hai..... Aur Jis Jaga Pathan Ka Lund Jaye Wo Chootar .... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Q: What's The Difference Between A Pay Check And Ur Dick ...??? A: You Dont Have To Beg A Woman To Blow Your Check... But To Blow Your Dick U Have To .... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Wo Aaye Na Aaye Humare Loray Se ... Wo Kare Intizar Humare Loray Se ... Tum Se Larki Na CHUD Saki Gando Humne Khode PAHAR Loray Se.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar : Jadugar Se : Mujhe Jado Dikhao ... Jadugar: Apni Pent Utar K Jhuko ... Jadugar: Tumhain Apni Gand Me Ungli Mehsoos Hui Sardar: Haan Jadugar: Lekin Mere Haath Tou Ye Rahe.... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Master To Choto Sardar: Eh Dus K Hath Wich Kinian Ungliyan Hudain Ne...??? Choto: Sir 6 hundian Ne... Master : Oye Behachod, Tenu Kinni Vari Dasa Hai K Kache Ch Hath Pa K Unglian Na Gina Ker.... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - PART-VIII ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa. Banta shouts: What’s this? Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha ‘Serve hot without dressing’ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --AIK AURAT APNAY BACHAY KO DOODH PILANAY SAY PEHLAY APNAY MUM'MAY ACCHI TARHA HILATEE HAE, JAB US KA HUSBAND POOCHTA HAE KAE YEH TUM KYA KAR RAHEE HO TO VO KEHTEE HAE KAE "MAE BACHAY KO MILK SHAKE DAE RAHEE HO" ----------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----Define BREAST?. B - Beautiful R - Round Shaped E - Equipment A - Amazingly S - Soft with T - Tasty Milk........ Peo Sir Utha kay.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --What's the diff between a Lollipop and a Penis ? The Lollipop gets smaller with each lick and PENIS gets bigger with each lick. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Names of Penis With Ages...... 01-05 = Nono 06-10 = Phunno 11-14 = Lulli 15-20 = Lund 21-25 = Pyaasa 26-35 = Shikari 36-50 = Naram Garam 51-60 = Kaam chor 61-75 = Yaadein ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi. Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai. Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi… ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --HUSBAND: DARLING MAE AAJ SAY PEHLAY 10 LARKIYOU KAE SAATH SOYA HO WIFE: AB YEH SHADI AESAY TO HO NAHEE GAYEE, ZAHIR HAE KUND'LEYA MELEE THEE TO HE RISHTA HOVA THA ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --HINDU TEACHER: BAE'TA, GAYEE [COW] KO KABHEE JAN'WAR MAT KEH'NA, YEH HAMAREE MAA HAE MAAA [GAO'MATA] STUDENT: SIR AAP KI MAA KO KOI SARAK PAR CHOOD RAHA HAE ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --ATTENDENCE: 1- PAP'PU? Present 2- Dab'bu? Present 3- Mun'na? Present 4- Chun'na? Present 5- Pandu? Present 6- Gandu? Gandu?? Gandu??? Gandu??????? ??????? ABBY JOKES PARHNA CHOORH AUR PRESENT BOOL TERA NAAM LIA JAA RAHA HAI ATTENDENCE MAIN........ ......... ..lolx ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --MALIKA SHERAWAT AUR GANDHI MAE KYA FARAQ HAE? GAANDHI NAE MULK KAE LEYEH KAFRAY OTAARAY THAY AUR MALIKA SHERAWAT NAE MULK KAE LOGO KAE LEYEH ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Nazuk Choot walee Larki Itnay Lund mat ghu'sao Thak Jao gi Kaanch say nazuk Choot Tumhari Phat gayee to Pach'tao gi Aray tum kya jaano! Lund ghu'sanay kae leyeh Aankhay baeechna parhtay hae Rishtay bhoolna parhtay hae Thak Jao gi Kaanch say nazuk Choot Tumhari Phat gayee to Pach'tao gi! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --LARKA: DARLING, KAL RAAT JAB KISS KARNAY KAE BAAD TUM NAE CHEWING GUM MAERAY MOU MAE DAALI THEE TO MUJHAY BAUHAT ACCHA LAGA THAA, LARKI: BHARWAY VO CHEWING NAHEE TUMHARAY CONDOM THAA ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A Sardar was arrested in a Political Rally,B'coz He Saw a Lady Journalist,having Badge On her chest,Written "PRESS" So He Pressed... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Larkion Ki Adaein Aaj Tak Samaj Nai Ayi . . . . " Kuch Kehdo Tu Muo Phula Leti Hain Aur Kuch Kardo Tu Peait Phula Leti Hain . . . . " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --BAETE: MAA MAA YEH LUND KYA HOTA HAE MAA: BAETA AGAR AAP ACCHI LARKI BAN GAYEE TO AAP KO BHEE MELAY GA, AUR AAP KO KHUD HE PATA CHAL JAYEE GA BAETEE: AGAR MAE ACCHI LARKI NA BANEE TO MAA: TAB AAP KO KAEE MELAY GAY ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Utho Bharvon Aankhen Knolo Bistar choro aur lund dholo itna chodna theek nahin gand pe thookna theek nahin hai Sooraj Nikla Gandoo Bhage Un mein INDIA tha sab se aage ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --QUESTION: FILM "SALAM NAMASTAY" SAY HAMAY KYA SABAQ MIL'TA HAE ANSWER: KABHEE BHEE AUSTRALIAN CONDOMS PAR AE'TAE'BAAR NA KARO ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --SHAH-JAHAN NAE TAJ MAHAL KI DEVARO KO DAEKHA, KINARO KO DAEKHA KHER'KE'YOU KO DAEKHA DARWA'ZO KO DAEKHA JHO'MAR KO DAE'KHA KALEEN KO DAEKHA AUR DAEKH KAR KAHA BEHAN'CHOOD BAUHAT KHARCHA HO GEYA HAE!!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -1st BOY: ABY YAAR, US LUND WALAY QATIL NAE AIK AUR AURAT KO CHOOD KAR US KA MURDER KAR DEYA 2ND BOY: LUND WALA QATIL? KOUN? 1st BOY: ABAY US KA LUND NAHEE LONDON HAE. 2ND BOY: LONDON HAE! KYA MATLAB? 1ST BOY: ABAY US KA LUND ITNA BARA HAE KAE POORA LONDON SAMA JAYEE 2ND BOY: BHOS'REE KAE VO HAE KOUN? 1ST BOY: ABAY JAB US KA LUND KISII KI BHEE CHOOT MAE JATA HAE TO 8 FEET GEHRA GAD'DHAA PAR JAA'TA HAE 2ND BOY: MADAR'CHOOD, VO HAE KOUN? 1ST BOY: SALAY 10 10 AURTO KO AIK HE DAFA MAE LINE SAY CHOOD DAALTA HAE 2ND BOY: GAANDU, VO HAE KOUN? 1ST BOY: SALAY KAE LUND SAY MONEY NAHEE SAMANDAR NIKALTA HAE KAE KOI BHEE BEH JAYEE 2ND BOY: BHARWAY, VO HAE KOUN? 1ST BOY: SALA APNAY LUND PAR 10 10 AURTO KO BETHAA LAETA HAE 2ND BOY: DAL'LAY, VO HAE KOUN? 1ST BOY: JAB US KA LUND CHOOT MAE JAA'TA HAE TO CHOOT KAE ITNAY TUKRAY HO JAATAY HAE, JAESAY LAGTA HO KAE KESEE NAE BOMB PHAAR DEYA HO 2ND BOY: RANDI KI OLAAD, VO HAE KOUN?, BATA BHEEE DAE, LUND NA HO GEYA CRUSE MISILE HO GEYA, VO HAE KOUN 1ST BOY: VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. VO HAE......... ......... ..VO HAE......... ......... .. 1ST BOY: JIS KA TU MAIL PARH RAHA HAI. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Boy to girl : tum gaana boaht acha gaati ho Girl to boy : nahi main to sirf bathroom singer hon Boy : to phir bolao na kabi mehfil jamain ge ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Chaho to hamein bhula dena.Chaho to hamara naam dil se mita dena.Par jab tanhai mein hamari yaad aye to rona mat. sirf 1 baar apni gaand mein ungli daal ke hila lena. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --DOCTOR: AAP KAE TO SAARAY GHUTNAY CHIL GAYEE HAE, AAP DOGGY STYLE KAE ELAAWA KOI DOSRI POSITION TRY KARAY LADY: DOCTOR SAHAAB MAE TO DIFFERNT POSITION TRY KAR SAKTEE HO, BUT DOG NAHEE KAR SAKTA ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Aaj mae aap ko SALAAD bana'nay ka tareeqa bata'ta hu. Sab say pehlay aap aik KHEERA lejeyeh . . . . . . .. . . . . Agar Dard hu raha hae to Nikaal lae, otherwise Enjoy Karay. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Arz Kya hai.... EK jhalak kafi hai DIL ka mareeZ banane Ke liye, Tune itni barhi SHALWAAR pehni hai ek Chhoti si CHEEZ chupane ke liye.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Pajamey mein meray yeh kia hoo raha hai Chota tha pehley, Ab Bara ho raha hai. Youn too hai yeah Mohazzib buhat, EHTARAM mein TUMHARAY Khara hoo raha hai... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --teri aankhooo main aansoooaur chehre pe hasi hai wah wah......... ......... .. teri aankhoon main aansoo aur chehray pe hasi hai.. wah wah......... ......... .. aesa lagta hai jaisay teri LULLI zip main phasi hai... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --one night a boy asked his girlfriend: "darling r u free tonight" his girlfriend shouted and replied "have i ever charged u before?" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --after a train passed a tunnel, a sardar screamed "who squeezed my wifie's boobs?" "chalo sab line mein khade ho jao. ek ek karke firse dabao, finger print lena hai" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- sardarni : i want good manners in bed just like at the dinner table. sardar climbs slowly into the bed, smiles and says: "honey, would you pass the boobs please" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --cock and cat were crossing a bridge. cat slips and falls into river. cock can't stop laughing. moral of the story? wherever there is a wet pussy, there's a happy cock. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --sardar explaining to son why not to go to prosti's. "puttar u go 2 prosti, tainu aids ho jayegi. fir teri wife nu, fir mainu, aur fir saare gaon nu..." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Chand safarishnew Gand py Kharish jokarta tumhari Deta main Lunsay khuja Sharmo haya ko ,lun pay charha kay karna hay Bund ko tbah Zid hai ab to hai Bund main ghusana Karna ha Lun ko Fannah.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --DaY 1 Ram call Shyam : Sarya hai ? Shyam : Haan Hai Ram : GanD Main le Lo Day 2 Ram : Sarya hai? Shyam : Nahi hai Ram : Gand Main Le lia kya ? Day 3 Ram : Sarya hai Shyam : Hai bhi Aur Nahi bhi Ram : Kya Andar Bahar kar rahe ho Day 4 Shyam calls Ram : Sarya hai ? Ram : Kion Kia Gaand main lena hai kia ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --18 Years Ki larki K set hone se sex hone tak k 18 nakhre 1 mera peecha mat karo 2 main sharif larki hoon 3 bas ek baar kahoongi i love u 4 sirf ek baar miloongi 5 kuch kerna nahi 6 koi dekh le ga 7 bas upper se 8 paint mat utaro 9 bas ek baar hi kerwaongi 10 sharam aa rahi hai 11 buhat lamba hai 12 itna mota main nahi le sakti 13 zor se mat dalna 14 buhat dard ho raha hai 15 boobs ko chooso 16 kamar ko pakar k daaalo 17 zor se dakha mat maaro 18 bahar mat nikalo ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Nangi Larki Sardar g se Boli 20 rupay ki mithaae do Sardar g ghaur se daikh rahe thay larki boli "kabhi nangi larki nahi dekhi kya?" Sardar g : "Dekhi tu hai magar main ye soch raha hoon tu paisay kahan se nikaale gi " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Kon kehta hai hum main judaaai ho gi yeh afwa kisi maderchod ne urai ho gi Hum to rahain ge aap ki gand main ghus ker Umeed hai itni jaga to aap ne bachai ho gi ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Foran ek kaaam karain paint utaarain under wear utaarain Gand pe teil lagain aur aag laga dain jab deni nahi hai to uska kia faida....... .... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Kion har baar mosam ki terha badal jaate ho Har naye saaal humaaara dil dukhate ho Yeh baat sun ker humaari rooh tak kanp gai Ae dost tum sirf 5 rupay main gand marate ho ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --LAwyer : Is aadni ne aap k saaath kia kya behan ji? Lady : Is Ne pehle mujhe giraya lawyer : us k baad behan ji? lady : phir meri kammez phar di lawyer : us k baad behan ji ? lady : phir meri bra ko phaara lawyer : phir behan ji? lady : phir meri shalwaaar phari lawyer : phir behan ji? lady : phir kia , Aap Ki Behan chud gaye ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Kajol said to Aamir khan in fanna "Meri Chuut MAin Tere Loray ko panah mil jaye Tere Loray Pe Meri Chuut Fana Ho Jaye" AaMir reply : "Chodne de Aaj Hum Ko Teri Chuut suJane de Khol De Taangain Apni Aur Mujh ko Andar Jaane De Hai Chuut Main Qaid jo Darya Wo choot Jayega Hai Itna Dard K Tera Bister Red Ho Jaye Ga ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --The "F" Rulez....... ... FiNd Her Friend Her flirt Her Finger Her Fuck Her Forget Her ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Sarddar And Sardarni In Bus Sardarni: suno ji , Peeche waala mere blouse main haath daaal raha hai Sardar : oy tu fikar mat ker , uss ko kia pata batwa to mere paas hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -1 aadmi k ghar 7 larkiyan paida ho gain Us ne paper main add diya "Larka paida kerne ka tareeqa batao" Bengal se letter aaya : " Fish Khilao " Haryaana se letter aaya : " Milk shake do " Punjaab se letter aaya : "Lassi do " Utter Pradesh se letter aaya "1 moqa humain de" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -A Girl Tells Her Boy Friend Inside the Cinema : "Mere Saath Wala MUTH maar raha hai" Boy says : Ignore Him Girl says : I can't ............ . Coz He Is Using My Hand ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Nipple Nipple Don't Be Far can I Press U In My Car Up Above The Chest So High Always Milky Never Dry Let Me Suck U Don't Feel Shy In The Brassier U Will Die ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- The Oscar Nominee Of The Best XXX Hindi Movies Haseena Ki Gand Main Paseena Land Apna chut Parayee Pati Fauj Main Patni Mauj Main ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Usne Kaha Kon Ho Tum? Mene Kaha Hasrat Tumhari Usne Kaha Karte Ho Kya? Mene Kaha Pooja Tumhari Usne Kaha Chahte Ho Kya? Mene Kaha Mohabbat Tumhari Usne Kaha Pachtaogay Mene Kaha Qismat Humhari Usne Kaha Married Houn Mene Kaha Maa Ki Choot Tumhari ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Wife: (too much angry) "mein yeh ghar chor kar ja rahi hoon" Husb: Acha jao..merey LUND pe charho! wife: pur tumhari yehi khubsurt batein mujhe nahi janey daiti ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Larki ne Bili ki tasveer wli shirt pehni hui thi Larka ghoornay lgaLarki: kbhi Bili nhi dkhi Larka bola: dekhi to hai, lekin doodh ki hifazat kartay huye pehli baar dekh raha hoon... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai? Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom charhaana. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Q: Larkay walay larki wallon say larki ka haath kab maangtay hain ? Kab ..? A: Jab Larkay ka apna haath thak jaata hai :> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A gal with his boyfriend opened her legs inviting him 2 fuck n asked: Hamare baby ka naam kya hoga? He wears a condom n says: Iske baad bhi hoga to ‘Jadugar’ PART-XI ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some. . . she asked: "How hard is it?" he replies: "About as hard as my dick" To which She Replies: "OK, then pour me some!". . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Arz Kia Hai. . . ! ! ! Choot Ki Chahat Mein Sara Chaman Jala Dala Wah Wah Chut Ki Chahat Mein Saara Chaman Jala Dala Kia Kehne . . . Aisa Choda Aisa Choda K Choot Ko Kamaan Bana Dala. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Main Teri Aankh Se Aujhal Ho Jaon Ga Duur Bohat Fizao'n Main Kho Jaon Ga Meri Yado'n Se Lipat Ker Roye Ga Tu Bohat Jab Main Teri Gaand Mar Kar Farar Ho Jaon Ga. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -A Sardar Named Surinder 'G.A.A.N.D.U' Goes To An Advocate To Get His Name Changed. As He Had Been Teased For It His Whole Life. Advocate: O.K. Can Be Done. What Would You Like Ur New Name To Be? Sardar ( After Much Thinking) : GURINDER 'G.A.A.N.D.U' . . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A Man Is In A Hotel Lobby , he Turns 2 goto the front desk , he accidently bumps into a woman beside him and as he does , his elbow goes into her breast . The man turns 2 her n says , madam if ur heart is as soft as ur breast . I knw u will forgive me . she replies , If ur penis is as hard as ur elbow i'm in room 436 ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Strongest Musle In a man Is TONGUE. It Can Raise A Woman's Legs With Just One Lick Lightest muscle In a Man is PENIS. It Can be Raised By a Woman's Smile ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Sookhe Kapre Dekh Ker Sasur Ne Bahoo Se Poocha : Ye Kala Kapra Kis Ka Hai Baho : Ye Meri Penty Hai Sasur: Kabhi Pehne Huey Tou Nahi Dekha . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Girls College K Bahar Larki Chaat Wale Ko Bolti Hai : Bhaiya Meri Chaat . . . Chaat Wala : Ek MinuTe. . . Larki: Jaldi Se Meri Chaat Period Start Hone Wala Hai . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Sau (100) Kamata Hoon Sava Sau Lutata Hoon Tum Jaisi Larkion Ko Apne Lund Pe Bithata Hoon. . . GIRL: Sau Kamata Hai Sava Sau Lutata Hai 25rs Kya Apni Gaand Mara Ke Lata Hai. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Phudion Ki Meeting Me Phudi Ne Masla Uthaya Is Muth Ne Tou Humara Maza Kharab Karwaya Pehle Tou Chud'ti Thi'n Hum Foladi Lund Se Ab To Beemar Lund Hi Hai Apna Sarmaya MUTH NA-MaNZOOR MUTH NA-MaNZOOR Sub Phudio'n Ne Mil K Nara Lagaya Phudio'n Ki Sadar Ne Sadar Musharraf Ki B.v Ko Phone Lagaya B.v Ne Musharraf Sahab Ko Samajhaya Is Liye Tou Musharraf Sahab Ne Niswa'n Bill Manzoor Kerwaya. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Ages Of Women . . . 1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. . . 2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. . . 3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. . . 4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest. . . 5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn. . . ? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a Old Age Pathan , and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash. The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them" The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!" The Pathan Asks, "Do we have time?". . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A GIRL WAS MASTURBATING DURING EXAM WHILE LOOKING AT THE EXAMINER'S OPENED ZIP WHEN THE EXAMINER NOTICED, SHE MOPED HER HAND AND QUICKLY STARTED WRITING..... . EXAMINER: WHAT WERE YOU DOING? GIRL: JUST EATING MY LOLLY EXAMINER: (SMELLING AND LICKING THE HAND) IT WAS STRAWBERRY FLAVORED BUT YET WAS ROTTEN . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -A Poem For Lund By A Girl . . . Main Thi Anjan Ye Hai Loray Ka Ehsaan Main Samjhi Thi Lora Hai Bejaan Nahi Dekha Jisne Kabhi Choot Ka Medaan Jab Khara Hua TouMain Hui Hairan Is Harkat Ne Mujh Ko KerDia Pareshaan Jab Andar Dala Tou Nikal Di Jaan Hum Samajhta Thay Lora Hai Nadan Lekin Ab Jana Hai k Lora Hai Bara Shetaan . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Newly Young Boy To Doctor: Mujhe Koi Aisi Tarkeeb Batayen K Jis Se Sex bhi Ho Jaye Aur Pragnancy Bhi Na Ho . . . ? ? ? Doctor: Hai Na . . . Beta Bas Peeche Se Lete Raho. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Boss Asks Secretory: "Do U Know, What's The Difference Between A Russian Salad & A Blowjob. . . ?" Seceratory : No. . . Boss: Great, Let's Have The Lunch First . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -aik ashiq ne chand say poocha ke kia tu ne meray yaar jaisa koi haseen dekha hay.. chand gusay say bola... itnii door say kia lora nazar ayee ga ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -New Abbriviations PIA = Pain In Ur Ass USA = Under Skirts Activities PUMA = Press Untill Milk Arrive ARAB = After Rape Apply Balm CUBA = Caught Under Bra Area. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Girl And Boy Were Sitting Alone Boy Started Touching The Girl. . . Girl: Don't Touch Me All Things Only After Marriage Boy: ok Than Call Me When U r Married. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Sradar Giving Speech To Deaf And Dumb Ppl. . . Suddenly He Rubs Chest, Touches Dick And Starts Masterbating. . . When He Was Asked, What's Tha Meaning . . . ? ? ? He Said: It Means Ladies And Gentlemen, It Gives Me Great Pleasure. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --ek din bai ko ghar saaf karte waqt condom mila.to usne malkin se poocha. Bai: Ye kya hai? Malkin: kyun tere gaoun me sex nahi karte hai kya? Bai: karte hai par itna hi nahi ki khaal hi utar jaye........ .. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -I Had Avised "RANI MUKHERJI" To Use "WHISPER" But She Didn't. . . . . . . THEN. . . . . !!!! THEN WHAT. . . . . ? ? "LAAGA PENTY MEIN DAAG. . . " ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A guy comes home from office and finds a man with his head between his wife's boobs. He asks angrily, "What the hell are you doing?" The man replies "I'm listening to music". The husband then puts his head between his wife's boobs and says "I don't hear any music". The man replies "Thats because you are not plugged inn" . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A GirL Raped another GirL.. Everyone was shocked.. why did she do that..? when asked, she replied... "why should boys have all the fun"... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -TEACHER: Larkiyan Kab jawan Hoti Hain? BOYS: Jab Wo BREZAR Pehen Ne Lagti Hain! TEACHER: Larke Kab jawan Hote Hain? GiRLS: Jab Wo BREZAR Utaarne Lagte Hain... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Why Do The Urdu Speaking Women Have Mostly Big Breasts. . . ? Because Whenever They Greet Anyone. . . They Say AA..DAAAB , AA..DAAAB. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -What Exactly The Term GOLD-LEAF Means . . .? ? G = Get O = One L = Lady D = Daily L = leave It E = Early A = After F = Fuck So Have u Had Ur Gold Leaf Today . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- A Man Wid His Wife & 9 Children w8ing At The Bus Stop. A Blind Man Joins Them After A Few Minutes . . . When The Bus Arrives They Find Tht Only Children & Wife Can Fit In The Bus . . . So Blind Man & Husband Decided To Walk . . . After Sum Tym Husband Says To Blnd: Why Don’t U Put A Piece Of Rubber At The End Of Ur Stick . . That Soud Driving Me Crazy. . ! Blind Man Replies: If U Wud’ve Put Rubber At The End Of Ur Stick We Wud Be Riding The Bus . So Shut Up. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Wife: Tumne mujhe aaj tak dya kya hai, 10 saal tak sirf Do Bacho ke he qabil rahe..! Husbnd: Tum meri Mehnat dekho or apni Production dekho.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I would be a little bull." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?! " The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver..! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A criminal broke into bed room, tied up husband & wife, kissed wife's ear & went 2 bathroom. Husband told wife, "satisfy him or he will kill us, b strong I LOVE U" Wife said "He didnt kiss me,He whispered in my ear that he's GAY, needs vaseline & I told him its in the bathroom. So b strong I LOV U 2... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Husband: Kaam wali Ko Bulao! Wife:Kyun. . .??? Husband: Doctor Ne Bola Hy K Raat Ko Dwaii Khaao Aur Shanti (Kaam Wali) K Saath So Jao. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Son: Me Aap Ki Shadi K Baad Q Peda Hua. . . ? Pehle Q Nahi. . .? Mom: Tumhare bahar Aane K Liye Rasta Nahi Tha.. . Tumhare Dad Ne Khod Khod Kar Rasta Banaya. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Sardar ki suhag rat hai.. Bevi bed par bethi hai.. aur sardar se kehti hai.. dunia ka sab se ganda kam kardo.. Sardar ny paint utari or.. . Bed Per Poti Kar Di... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Girl:Eik sasti c breazer dena.. Salesman: ye 60 ki Girl: or sasti S: Yeh 30 ki G: Or sasti S: Yeh 20 ki Girl: or sasti..? S: Chotu! in ko 2 BOTTEL k DHAKKAN or SUTLI De Do... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Angraiz officer elaan ker raha tha aur sardar translate ker rha tha.. O PEOPLE o bhen chodo IT IS ANNOUNCED HARDLY bhund phar elaan kia jaraha hai IF ANYONE INTERFARE IN GOVT agar kisi ne hakumat nal bhen chudai ki HE'LL B PUNISHED ELEPHANTLY onu hathi k lund nal bun dia jaye ga THATS ALL lund pay charo... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Guy1: hey how was first nite? Guy2: big mistake yaar... i was so drunk... i forgot that i was married, and remembering the old days, i kept Rs500 under the pillow after finishing u know wat... Guy1: oh my god! how could u?.. it could not be any worse! Guy2: well actually it is..... saali ne 200 rupiya vaapas kar diya. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Ek Aadmi Ne Guard Se Bola: Pata Hy Me C.M. K Bohut CLOSE Huun. . . Mujhe Andar Jane Do . . .Guard: Sir, Jhaantain Bhi Bhi LUND K CLOSE Hoti Hyn. . . Par Wo Andar Nahi Jaati Hyn. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --GUY TAKES GILR TO HIS ROOM, PUTS HIS PANTS DOWN AND SAYS: MEET MY LITTLE BROTHER , GIRL PICKS UP HER BAG AND SAYS: CALL ME WHEN HE GROWS UP. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs Had Sex Snow White: I'm Sad & Frustrated! Dwarfs: Why? She Cried n Said: I Want 7 inches 1 time, Not 1 inch 7 times. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Teacher: Hamein macharon ko pada hone se rokna chahiye.. Student: Wo tu ho he nahen sakta.. Teacher: Kyon.? Student: Kyon k itna chota condom ban he nahen sakta... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Ek Glass Pani Lo UsMe Neem K Darakht K Paatel Dalo.. Phir 2 Ghanty K Lye Rakh do.. Phr 10 Min Garam Kar K Thanda Karny K Baad Pi Lo.. GAND K KEEREY MaR Jaingy... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Tendulkar having sex with call girl. She said: Teri lulli pe AIDS likha hai.. Tendulkar replied: Maa ki louri, pora khara to honay de ADIDAS likha hai... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Boyz attitude ! A boy When Proposez A Girl If she sayz "YES" Then PATA NAHI KITNO KO HAAN KAHA HOGA . . . . !!! If she sayz "NO" Then BEHAN KI LORI KHUD KO ASHWARYA RAI SAMJHDI HAI. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Ustaad: Chotay 17 Number Ka Pana De . . . . Chota : Acha Ustaad Ustaad : Aaaaahhhhhh . . . !!! Abay MadarChod Haath Main Tou De . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Today is SORRY DAY..! So send this msg 2 all ur friends.. Agar kabhi meri koi baat buri lagi ho to, Lun pe charho main yeh day nahi manata... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Papa papa 2day I had sex wid my teacher.! Papa: Wah beta ya hui na Mardon wali baat! Chalo Aaj party hojae.. Son: Aaj nahi papa, Aaj Gand mein bohat dard hai... PART-X ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---A Baby Boy and a Baby Girl r in a bathtub having a bath Girl looks down and says, can i touch it? Boy: No Way ! you have already broken yours!! .... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------Totaly ko interview main 4 words bolnay ko kaha institute, aptitude, magnitude and substitute. Totla bola. " inki chut apki chut maaki chut subki chut " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi: ladka clerk hai, 4000 pagar hai + uper se 15,000 kamata hai. ladkiwalle:ladki nurse hai, 2500 paghar hai + nicche se 50,000 kamati hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Boy & Girl Talk on phone Gilr say : Roonay ko tu sab Rooty hain Faraq hai Roonay Roonay ka tum Qatra Qatra Rooty hoo Hum darya darya Rootay hain Boy say to girl : Soonay ko tu sab sooty hain faraq hai soonay soonay ka Tum Ungli lay kar sooti hoo hum haath main lay kar sootay hain ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Ek aurat ne kele waale se bola : kal jo tum ne kele diye thay wo naram aur pilpillay thay kele wala bolta hai : Begam saab to mun se khaane thay na ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Aik Lady bus stop per khari hoti hai us k haath main WISPER ka pack hota hai Fakeer aata hai or kehta hai : Baji kuch de de Lady bolti hai: Maaf kar baba Fakeer kehta hai : Ye Double Roti hi de de to Lady kehti hai : Kal aana JAM laga k doon gi ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Ek aadmi k Gurday (kidney) main takleef hoti hai Wo apne dost k saath Gurdon k bajaye Bawaseer (piles) k ward main chala jaata hai Doctor bolta hai : Kameez utaro , wo utaar deta hai Doctor phir kehta hai : shalwaar utaro , wo utar deta hai Doctor us ki Gand dekhne lagta hai Aadmi apne dost se bolta hai : yar kaisa doctor hai Gurdon ko gand se dekh raha hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Prostitute's Daughter asks her mother : mom , what is Pyaar , Ishq aur Mohabbat ? Mother replied : Kuch nahi beti , sab free main chodne k bahane hain ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- American say : Girl is like Ciggerate , when finished throw it French say : Girl is like Wine Bottle , when finish break it Pathan say : Girl is like Audio cassete , when finish change the side ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Badan us ka silky ho Breast us k milky ho Dekhne main chikni ho Pehni us ne bickni ho Neeche us k chimni ho Lamba apna danda ho Us main ja k thanda ho ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A sardar reads on the front side of a girl's t-shirt written "Handel with care" Next day Sardar wears Jeans written on "Candel with hair" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Man to Doctor : Mujhe Dast Lage hue hain Doctor : kia tum ne kela try kia ? man : haan , magar jab nikala to phir shroo ho gaye ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Ba ba black sheep is old now Baaa baaa Black Dick Have u Any Sperm Yes Man , yes man two balls firm non for my gal friend n non for my ex BUt all for the horney Reading this Text ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Woman in bar wlks to bar tender & puts her finger in to his mouth After he kisses and licks each finger She says : Tell your Manager there is no toilet paper in toilet ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Perfume Seller to man : Perfume le lo sahab g Man: Koi 25 paise waala perfume dikhao Perfume Seller : Gand main ungli daal ker soongh lo ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -80 yr old man ask for 4.25 mg. viagra. Chemist suggest to increase the dose, old man says: beta bus itna khara karvade k peshab karu tu chappal par na gire! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Girl-Bra dikhao. SalesMan-36 Chalegi? Girl-Choti do SaleMan-32? Girl-aur choti SaleMan-28? Girl-aur choti SaleMan-20? Girl-Thori aur SaleMan-Bhenji, Band-Aid laga lo, Pimple huwa hoga.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Bacha: Mamma kal papa kaam wali ko sofay per leta kar... Mom: Beta! Bus raat ko jab papa aayein tu phir batana... Papa K Aatay Hee Mom: Haan beta ab batao kiya howa? Beta: Papa kaam wali ko sofay pe leta kar jo Nasir Uncle aap k saath karte hain... woh kar rahe thay ... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- What is the difference between PROBLEM and CHALLENGE, Teacher asked a smart boy. Boy: 3 boys + 1 girl on a bed = PROBLEM 1 boy + 3 Girls on a bed = CHALLENGE!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Remix Mehboob mere........ ..... Mehboob mere Mehboob mere Teri masti main mjuhe jeene de Buhat doodh hai (.) (.) hai tere sennay main mujhe daba daba k peene de ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Sardar traveling in a train,see's 4 women & asks their names.1 women says my name is rada behen,2nd woman my name is sita behen,3rd woman my name is geta behen,4th woman says my name is nita behen.They ask sardar,wat is ur name? He replies my name is Jaggjit Singh Behenchod ! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -eik papa aur mummy sex mien busy thay ...achanak beta uth gaya ... papa: beta neend nahi aa rhi kiya?? beta: jab ksi ki maa chud rhi ho tau usay neend kese aaey gi... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Boy : can i kiss u? Girl: where? on vertical or horizontal lips? Boy: what? Girl: I mean on upper or lower Lips? Boy: I did'nt get u? Girl: CHUTIYAE, hont pe ya chut pe? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Lady patient : Doctor , meri chut mein makkhi ghus gayi hai . Doctor : Mein mere lund pe honey lagakar andar daalta hoon , woh bahir nikal ayegi. He begins , but then starts enjoying the act thoroughly . Lady : What the hell are you doing ? Doctor : Plan changed. Ab saali ko andar hi maar doonga .. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --susar apne damad se:Beta shadi k baad ap ne hamari bitya ko kaisa paya?Punjabi damad:Jnab 2 wari age paya 2 wari piche paya... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Sardar Ko Uski Wife Ne Apne Boobs suck krny Ko Kaha , Sardar Thodi der Chusne Ke Baad Rone Laga . . Sardarni , ' Kya Hua ? ' Sardar : Maa Ki yaad aa gayi. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Suhag rat ko ake sardar apni bivi ki choot kay neachay machis ki teli jlai to bivi nay pocha sardar ji aye ki ker rahy ho sardar bola mary dost nay kha thha chodne say pehlay gram ker layna ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - SARDAR : KAL MEIN NE APNI WIFE DI YAAD WICH BOTTLE DA SHARA LITTA SARDARS FRIEND: TE FIR KI HOYA SARDAR:BHENCHOD LULLI BOTTLE WICH PHANS GAI HOR KI HOWAY GA ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- HUSBAND READING A BOOK ON HIS BED WITH HIS WIFE ,HIS FINGER WENT TO TEASE HIS WIFES PUSSY ,WIFE SAID "SO U WANT SEX" US KK HUSBAND NE REPLY KIA "NO I JUST WANTED TO WETMY FINGER TO TURN THE PAGE" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------John 2 grandpa: do u still hv sex wid granny?Grandpa: 'yes, bt only oral'John: 'wats oral?'Grandpa: 'i say FucK u n she says Fuck u2' ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------ek aadmi bus ka intezaar ker raha tha itne main ussay bhook lagi us ne kuch kele kharide aur khaane laga jab ek kela reh gaya tu us ki bus aa gai us ne kela peechay ki jaib main rakh lia thori der baad us ko khial aaya koi us ka kela nikal raha hai to us ne kela peeche se pakar lia thori der main peeche khare aadmi ne kaha "bhai mera stop aa gaya hai ab kisi aur ka pakar lo" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Why do females close thier eyes during sex? Guess? ? ? ?? -- kuch tu idea lagao aray yaar...!! Aurat kisi bhi haal main mard ko khush nahi dekh sakti ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Tension hai to charas lo.Dimagh kamzor ho to badam ka juice lo.Khoon kam ho to anar ka juice lo.Mardana kamzori ho to...no problem..mera choos lo. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Teacher class me apni baby ko dudh pilate hue boli Ale Ale mera beta dood pi k DOCTOR banega student:madam thora dudh hame pila do COMPODER to ban hi jayengay.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye. Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge.. Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --son: papa wo kon si chez ha jis ka charon taraf baal hain. papa: chup kar stupid! son: papa ma bataon? "AANKH" Father: OH! Yes son: papa aap "Lun" samagh raha tha na ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Newly married couple Train se jatay huay surang se guzray. Husband: agar pata hoa surang itni lambhi hai to main koi faida hi utha laita. Wife: to wo aap nahi thay? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Ek doctor mareez k peeche bhaag raha tha logo ne poohca kia hoa? doctor: 5 baar aisa hua. harami khatna karwane aata hai aur baal saaf kerwaake bhaag jata hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Ek din ghalib se ek larki ne milne ka wada kia. us din larki k late ane par ghalib ne yeh shair arz kya: le ja apni choot kisi or ko de de.. Ghalib ko apne hath se qarar agaya... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -1 man asks shopkeeper: Is UNDERWEAR ki kya garranty hai? Shpkeeper: 12ve manzil se jump mar kay dekh, Gand phat jayegi par yeh nahin phatay gee! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Paisa GAAND ki tarah hai, hota sab k paas hai lekin dena koi nai chahta... Mashwara LUND ki tarah hai, dena sab chahte hai lekin lena koi nahi chahta... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She"ll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u"ll hv a child on children`s day. Don"t try this on everybody. U"ll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -A DICK has a sad story , it has an eye but cant c through it, has a head but has no brains, has just 3 neighbours , two are nuts and one is an asshole ! ! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Ik Larki thi dewaani si... Ik Larkay pe wo mar... Kuch lena tha usay... Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi Jab bi milti thi muijhey..... Ye hi pocha karti thi...... Ye "CONDOM" kAHAN SE MILTA HAI Ye "CONDOM" kAHAN SE MILTA HAI ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Did u know meaning of WOMEN? "W"ant "O"ne "M"an for "E"very "N"ight ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --BURNING OF CALORIES IN SEX Lying:90 Ca lStanding:492 Cal Dogy:326 Cal 2nd round: 824 Cal & if during sex ur wife knocks at the door u may lose 5000 Cal ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Penis ney 3reasons likh k application dee keh meri Pay barhai jaey: 1. Aksar night duty krta hon. 2. Andherey mein duty hay. 3.Jahan duty kerta hon wahan bahut garmi hoti hay. INTZAAMIA ney application reject karty hoay 3 reasons batain: 1.Tum kaunsa 8 ghantey duty krtey ho. 2. Duty k waqt jagah bahut gundee kertey ho. 3. Jab mood na ho to duty naheen kartey. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Pathan captured a girl gave her a dice n said If u get 1,2,3,4,5 mein tere gand marunga Girl: Agar 6 aya tu ? Pathan : ludo nahin kheli kya ? Dobara barri longa ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- kid: mom,wht is sex? mom get tensed but xplains everything 2 him. kid: but mom how can i write all these in this small box of SCHOOL FORM.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Boyz hostel mei 1 larka dosry se bola: yar exams nazdik a gye hai mujy suba jaldi utha dena.2nd boy: tu mera lun pakr k so ja ye muj se pehle uth jata hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Husband Is Having Sex With His Pregnant Wife.Husband Ne Zor Se Jhatka Lagaya To Wife Boli, "Reduce The Speed, Aage Abaadi Ha" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man in bus touches lady. She:U r touching Ur thing 2 me. He:Sorry Mam, its my salary in my pocket. She:Your salary has increased 5 times in last 10 minutes.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Tired Man cums home finds wife nude in bed He asks"kuch sabzi roti pakai hai ya yuhi phudi phellai hai" Wife"kuch atta,chawal laye ho ya sirf lun hilate aey ho. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -A Dog was fucking a Bitch.Sardarni got hot & said: Suno gi, aaj aisay he karna!Sardar: Oye! tera matlab hai k tu ab road par chudwaye gi? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -2 friends went 2 hunt animals in jungle unfortunately they were caught byjunglees. their chief said "marna pasand karo gay ya gandmarwana. 1 friend says main marna pasand karonga. 2 friend say main ganmarwana pasand karonga. the junglees chief says:2 # walay ki gand mar kar chor do aur 1 # walay ki itni gand maro k wa mar jay. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --agar himmat hai or mard ke bache ho to is sawal ka "han" ya "na" main jawab do "kal raat ko sote hoe kuttey ne tumhari gand marli" tumhe pata chala ya nahi ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --A doctor's wife,a lawyer's wife & a major's wife going on a walk. Woh ek bagh mai gaye or dekha ek kuta ek kutiya ko chod rha hota ha. Doc's wife, so sweet now they will hav cute pupies. Laywer's wife,no it's raping her so he shud b hanged. Major's wife, lgta ha kuta weekend pe ghar aya ha ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --Boyfrend wanted sex with girlfrend. He was shy of his small penis. He took her 2 a dark room & gav his penis in her hand. Girl: "Sorry i dont smoke" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -kaisa zamana agaya hai telenor walo ne to hadd kardi he.bare bare poster mein ek ladki dikhate hain.aur kehte he lage raho din bhar sirf 50 paise mein ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -sardar enter the public call center.lady operater said 2 sardar:sardar g kithay karna he? sardar:daikh kursi par to mushkil ho ga nechay hi booria bistar bicha laitay hain PART-XI ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --The Beauty of English: Ever noticed how deleting 1 word after the other in a sentence can lead to a story..? E.G. Oh UMAiR please dont touch me at all.! Oh UMAiR please dont touch me at Oh UMAiR please dont touch me Oh UMAiR please dont touch Oh UMAiR please dont Oh UMAiR please Oh UMAiR Ohhh ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------MOOCHI ki BV se us ki Saheli ne poocha kal Suhaag Raat k se guzri? B V! Kute ne dono SURAAKH 'C' daye or pochta hai or kahan kahan se phati hai...? ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Boss To Secretory: Book My Ticket For London.. Aur Suno Mera Naam "D.K.BOSE" Likhwana.... ! Werna Airport Pe Mera Naam "BOSE.D.K" Announce Hota Hai.... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---When an apple is Green, it is ready to Pluck! & when a girl is 18, she is ready for... NADRA I D CARD ...or kiya? Hamesha ganda he sochna.....: -) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Yeh sookha andar jata ha Aur Gila bahir ata ha Phele chota hota ha Phir yeh mota hota ha Jab ye andar rehta ha to yeh red kar deta ha Thori dair hilane k baad jab ise bahir nikalo to apna kam dikha kar yeh bejan sa bahir ata ha Kuch aur nahin ha yeh Is ko kehte han LIPTON TEA BAG... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---SHARABI. Janoo tumhare LIPS kitne Garam, kitne Naram, kitne Pink, Meethe & Geele hain. Girl. Abey Bhosri k pehle meri TANGO ke beech se apna MOO to bahar nikal. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Qus: Why girls cry on wedding day aT The Time of deparTure? Ans: wo sochati hai k itney saal intezar karney k baad dulha mila bhi to sirf eik.. ;-| ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Aisi Kon c Chez Hai. jo Woman Mei Aagee hoTi hAi or Cow mEi PeChe.? . . . . Its= " W " W-OMAN CO-W Har wAqT NegaTivE Mat Socha Karo... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Aap ki personality per aik sher arz kia hai, soraj hamesha chand key sath rahe ga, Wah Wah, tou chutiya tha chutiya hai aur chutiya rahe ga, Wah Wah..> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---- Ek sharif admi shadi k bad apni biwi se bola: Aj se tum hi meri Zindagi ho Rahat ho Tamanna ho! Biwi: Mere liye b aj se ap hi VIJAY ho AMIR ho aur MUKESH ho. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Tum duniya k un chandh insano mein se1 ho jinko dekh k unka abba kehta hai.? . . K . . Kash Us din "main jaldi sojata" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Raat ko sirf 3 tarah ke log jaagte hai: Bhoot - insan ko darane k liye.. Machar - insan ko satane k liye.. Husband & Wife - insan ko banane ke liye ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --15 to 20 saal ki larki football ki tarha hai aik k pechay dus log. 21 to 30 saal ki larki cricket ball hai aik k pas ati hai baqi reh jatay hain. 31 to 40 saal ki larki to nahi hoti, Woh aurat hoti hai jo table tennis ki ball ki tarha hai aik kehta hai tu rakh dusra kehta hai tu rakh ! =P ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --For India, its Ind. For Pakistan its Pak. For Australia its Aus. For Argentina its Arg. For Germany its Ger. Then what's for Brazil & London. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Heights Of Patriotism : U sitting on an English toilet in INDIAN style. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Q: What is the diffrence b/w 1. Call Girl 2. Girlfriend 3. Wife Ans: 1. Prepaid 2. Postpaid 3. Free & Unlimited. . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Jab Bhi Zubaan Per Tra Naam Aata Hai Ye Haath LUND ki Taraf Chala Jata Hai Tujhe Paane K LIye Kaam Aisa Ker Jayenge Ek Baar De De Werna Hila Hila Ker Mar Jayenge . . .;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Chaha Hai Jise Chahat Se Zyada Smjha hai Jise Muhabbat se Zyada Bharosa hai Jis pe Khud se Zyada Tu Hi Hai wo.... KUTTA, KAMEENA, HARAMZADA.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Y do we always praise shahid afridi who scored 100 runs of 37 balls. The real record blongs to DHATRASTRA In MAHABHARAT who scored 100 sons of only 2 balls. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Monika Lewinski asks: Laaloo jee u r so intelligent, but why u have 9 children? Laloo jee replied: Humarey time mein woh 'Muu mai Lainey Wali Baat Nahi thi na. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Girl After Having Sex With 4 Boys In Hostel. . . "I shud go, I'm Getting late" Boys:"Kuch Dair Aur Ruk Jao. . ." Girl: "Aur Nahi Ruk Sakti, Papa Bila-Wajah Shak Kerte Hain" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Define Rape. . . . ? ? ? ? "It is an operation without co-operation for the insertion of erection into depression without permission for the production of future generation." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --- Why Studying is better than sex 10. You can usually find someone to do it with. 9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off. 8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame. 7. When you open a book, you don�t have to worry about who else has opened it. 6. A little coffee and you can do it all night. 5. If you don�t finish a chapter you won�t gain a reputation as a �book teaser.� 4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time. 3. You don�t get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle. 2. You don�t have to put your beer down to do it. 1. If you aren�t sure what you�re doing, you can always ask your roommate for help ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---A woman went to the police station and complained that she is being sexually harassed by her colleague. The policeman asked �What does he do?�. The lady replied �Everyday morning he comes to me and says �your hair smells good today�!�. The policeman was confused �Ok madam� �Ok madam� but how can you call this sexual harassment?�. The woman said �He is 3 feet tall!� ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---As they watched a hot love scene on a cable channel, the husband asked his wife, �Why don�t you ever make love to me like that?� �Are you kidding?� she replied. �Do you have any idea how much she gets paid to do that?!� ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Which Part Of The Body Is Most Sensitive While Watching Adult Movies. . . ? Guess What . . . ? ? ? Ha Ha Ha . . . U�re Wrong. . . �It's Your Ears To Make Sure K Koi Aa Tou Nahi Raha. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Couple Fucking On Upper Berth & Drain There "STUFF" On The Head Of "BALD MAN" Sleeping At The Lower Berth. . Bald Man Oh Shit . . . What The Hell Is Going On. . .? ? ? Couple: Sorry Sir. . .! We r On HONEYMOON. . Bald Man: To Hell Wid Ur HONEYMOON . . . But Don't Drop Ur "HONEY" On My "MOON". . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Baba Peshaab Ker Raha Tha Larki Ne Dekh Lia Aur Shararat Se Boli "Baba G Aap Ka Lund Tou Chawal K Jitna Hai" Baba: Ye Puraana Chawal Hai, Daigh Main Ja Ker Phoolay Ga . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Sardar Was Using Condom For The First Tm & Unfortunately It Was Left In Wife Asks: Ab Kia Ho Ga ? ? Sarda : Kuch Nahi Bacha Plastic Coating Main Aayega. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---What is the Similarity between Toothpaste & Boobs? Guess ? Its easy !! U know the answer !! Kholo.. Dabao... Muh me dalo aur Fresh ho jaao. . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---What Is The Similiarty Between Girlz & Mobile Phones . . . ? ? ? Dono'n Main Jitna Ghuso Ge , Utne Functions Pata Chalainge . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---One Day A Man Goes To Bank For Withdrawing Cash. Lady Cashier Asked: So So Ke Loge. . .? Man Replied: Kharey Kharey Bhi Chalega. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Girl: I'm Sure K Dunya Main Sab Se Bari Tumhaari Lulli Hai . . . Boy: Acha, Wo Kaise. . . ? Girl: Kion K Is K Baad "LUND" Ki Category Shruu Ho Jati Hai . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Jab Aapka Naam Zaban Par Aata Hai, Pata Nahi Dil Kyo Muskurata Hai. Tasalli Ho Jati Hai Lund Ko Koi Tou Hai Aisa Jo Hanste Huey Har Wat Gaand Marane Ko Tayyar Ho Jata Hai. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Wife In Sexy Mood Lovingly Offers Husband: I Want To Have A Wild Experience. . . . Tie Me Up & Do Whatever You Want . . Excited HUSBAND Ties Her Up & Fucks The Maid. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---- Ek Sardar G Ko Baat Baat Pe Gali Bakne Ki Aadat Thi . . . Wo Apne Bete K Saath Diwali Main Mumbai Jate Hain . . . Ek Chota Bacha Pathaka Chalata Hai . . sardar G Bolte Hain: Oye Behan Di Fuddi Kithe Ja K Phati Hai Sardar G K Beta Bolta Hai: "Papa Jalandhar Wali Bua Di K Ludhyane Wali Di". . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---SeX Age! Age 8 IGNORE it. Age 18 XPLORE it. Age 38 ASK 4 it. Age 48 BEG 4 it. Age 58 PAY 4 it. Age 68 PRAY 4 it. Age 78 FORGET it. Age 88 AB MAR BI JA GANDU ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Jab Aapko Tatti Na Aaye. . . Aap Bethe Bethe Thak Jayen. . . Pressure Bhi Na Aaye. . . Yaad Karna Us Raat Ko Jb Hum Ne Aap Ki Gaand Mari thi Shayad Phr Se Aap Ki Gaand Phat Jaye Aur Tatti Aa Jaye. . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --A white Couple Had A Black Baby. . . Husband Didn't Believe It's His Baby. . . He Askd Wife Why Baby Is Black. . . ? Wife Said: I was Hot, u Were Hot, So Baby Burnt. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Burnol Aur Viagra sardar ki jangh jaal gayi, dr. ne burnol aur viagra likh ke di sardar bola burnol to samza par viagra kyon? dr. ne kaha usse blanket uncha rahega ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --One night, the cop was making his routine night patrol. As he pulls up the main street, he finds two trucks parked in the middle of the road with the lights on and the doors wide open. He decides to go and investigate. As he climbs up into the first truck he sees that it�s empty. He thinks to himself..."Maybe they're in the other truck conferring over a map." So he takes a look in the second truck and sees it's empty also. As he's walking back to the patrol car to call for a tow truck, he hears sounds coming from underneath one of the trucks. He shines his light and sees two truck drivers, Banta on his knees and Santa kneeling behind him going at it. The inspector says "Hey! You can't do that here in the middle of the road. It's illegal!" Santa says, "You don't understand. My friend was having a heart attack." The inspector replies, "That's not what you do for a heart attack. You're supposed to give mouth to mouth rescucitation! " To that Santa says, "I did! That�s how it's started!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---- 70 WAYS TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY. . . . NUMBER 1 IS SHOPPING AND THE REST IS �69�. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?" she asks, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colors," he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily. "Gold of course," says the man proudly. The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!". . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Why Man Hold Boobs & Put Nipples In Mouth Bfore Sex. . . Guesss . . . . B�coz Naag Ko Uthane K Liye Doodh Pilana Zaruuri Hai . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Man 2 Kid : Jo Bachay Muunh Main Anghoota Lete Hain, Unka Pait Phool Jata Hai Ek Din Bache Pragnent Aun Ko Dekhta Hai Aur Kehta Hai : "Mujhe Pata Hai Tum Kia Choosti Ho" . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Raat Ko Old Couple Main Larai Ho Jati Hai Aur Wo So Jate Hain Thori Der K baad Aadmi Jag Jata Hy Tou Aurat Kehti Ha i: Utha Hai Mera Sher Kuch Ker Hi Soye Ga . . . Aadmi Bolta Hai: Kerne Karane Wale Ki Maa Ki Choot Sher Utha Hai Abhi Is Liye K Mootay Ga Aur Phir Soye Ga ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !" The crowd was shocked!!!!! !!! He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received. About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !" As expected, he got thrashing of his life time.... Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---once a poor farmer's son gets married due to lack of space he decides to divide the room into 2 by a thin cloth so that his son can enjoy his first night in the night when his son is pumping his wife with full speed the old farmers wife asks the farmer to do it too the farmer does it once and gets exausted but the son carries on and the farmers wife forces the farmer to do it again after doing it again the farmer is really exausted but the son starts again so the farmer goes over to the other side and says "beta competition kyon laga raha hai maa to teri hi chudni hai". . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -A Sardar Named Surinder 'G.A.A.N.D.U' Goes To An Advocate To Get His Name Changed. As He Had Been Teased For It His Whole Life. Advocate: O.K. Can Be Done. What Would You Like Ur New Name To Be? Sardar ( After Much Thinking) : GURINDER 'G.A.A.N.D.U' . . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---Main Teri Aankh Se Aujhal Ho Jaon Ga Duur Bohat Fizao'n Main Kho Jaon Ga Meri Yado'n Se Lipat Ker Roye Ga Tu Bohat Jab Main Teri Gaand Mar Kar Farar Ho Jaon Ga. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some. . . she asked: "How hard is it?" he replies: "About as hard as my dick" To which She Replies: "OK, then pour me some!". . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample." The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?" "What did he say? What's he want?" His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear." . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" "Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.". PART-XII Zindagi bari Udaas Hai Mujhe Lagi Pyaas Hai Mujhe Duniya Se Na Koi Aas Hai Mein Uski Gaand Phardonga Jisne Kaha K Mere JOKES Bakwas Hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------sardar was watching a xxx film, he saw his wife in the film who is being fucked.after the film ended he said thanks God that it was just a film..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -----Unborn twins in the mother’s stomach saw a penis. 1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai. 2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -----Boss had 2 select a secretary 4 himself.4 girls came 4 d interview. thought of a question!! Q:what is d difference b/w 2 mouths of a girl? 1.one talks & other not 2.one is horizontol & other is vertical 3.one is hairy other is not 4.one is 4 me and other is for my boss. Boss selected the last 1!! ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---A man on a station selling SHILAJIT KI GOLI AAIYE MEHERBAN SUNIYE KATARDAN SHILAJIT GOLI KA CHAMATKAR 5 GOLI KA PACKET HAI 1 GOLI KA EK RUPIYA 5 GOLI KA PAACH RUPIYA YEH GOLI BANANE KA TARIKA NEPAL KI PAHADI BANDRA KI KHADI 12 BHADVO AUR 12 RANDIYO KE PALAP SE BANIYII GOLI KA MISHRAN HAI YEH GOLI KHANE KA TARIKA .. 1 GOLI ANDAR LUND BORIBANDER 2 GOLI KHAO PHAT PHATI CHALAYOO 3 GOLI KHAOO TEN FOOT LAMBA KARO 4 GOLI KHAO 4 FOOT LAMBA KARO 5 GOLI KHAAO SEEDHA AURAT KE PAAS JAO AURAT BOLE ARE TUM CHODTA HAI KI MITTI KHODTA HAI AAO AAO JISKO GOLI CHAIYE AAGE AAO JISKO NAHI CHAIYE AAPNI MAA CHUDAOO..... .... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Agar Aap Larkiyo'n Se Hamesha Ghirey Rehna Chahte Hyn. . . Agar Aap Chahte Hyn K Wo Aapka "PRODUCT" Haath Me Lekar Muunh Main Daaley. . . Tou. . . Paani- Puuri Ka Thela Laga Lo Yaar . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -- Sardar used to fuck sardarni using milk as lubricant. Later she was rushed to hospital, when the Doctor came out of OT said, "no baby or baba, just 1kg MAWA." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Girlfriends Are Appetizers. . . . Taste Good At Any Time. . . . Mistresses Are Tomyams. . . . Hot & Spicy Eaten Frequently. . . . Wives Are Maggie. . . . Eaten When There's Nothing To Eat. . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Lecturer: Which comes 1st. . . "SUN Or MOON" . . . ? ? ? Student:Obviously MOON. . . ! ! ! ! Lecturer: How. . . ? Student : Only after "Honey-MOON" "SON" Will come. . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -BOY: Larke Is Dunya Main Bohat Takleef Uthate Hain . . . GIRL: Nahi Larkian Bohat Takleef Uthati Hain BOY: Acha Wo Kaise. . . ! GIRL: Kia Kabhi Koi Larka Pragnent Hua Hai . . . ? ? BOY: Nahi, Par Kabhi Kisi Larki Ka Lun Jeans Ki Zip Main Phansa Hai . . . ! ! ! ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --- Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A.) So men can be open minded. . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Ye Chodan-Pur Ki Basti Hai Yahan Choot Lund Se Sasti Hai Jab Raat K Bara Bajte Hyn Sab Lund Pukara Kerte Hyn Ehsaan Kisi Ka Lete Nahi Haatho'n Se Guzara Kerte Hyn Jab Yaad Chooto'n Ki Aati Hai Uth Uth K Dobara Kerte Hain . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Girl hostel me phone aaya : Reeta HAI KYA ? Warden ne pucha :aage kya lagati hai ? Jawab aaya - Ab to pata nahi Pehle SARSON KA TEL lagati thi.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Bhosri Plaza Hotel "MENU CARD" Grilled mummay; Achari lund; Phuddi of the day; Tandoori bund Lullian sirkay waali: Chilly choot; Tattay mughlai; Gori bund da halwa; Nargisi tattay; Phuddi pakoray; Lund folooda; Mard makhan naan; Afghani gand kabab; Daigay mammay; Lund khara masala; Bhosri fried rice; Melted tutti cream; Peeshab up; ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Q : 2 homo ladke khubsurat ladki ko dekh kar kya bolenge ??? A : yaar ladki aisi hai to uska bhai kaisa honga ??? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Lund:"Rehta hu bhai rehta hu, do taango ke beech mein rehta hoon, jab bi chut dekhta hun to uth ke salaam karta hoon" Chut:"Rehti hu bhai rehti hu, do taango ke beech mein rehti hu, jab bi lund dekhti hu, muh khol kar swagat karti hun" Jhaten:"Rehte hai bhai rehte hai,do tangon ke beech me rehte hain, chut aur lund ke ladai mein ek do shaheed hote rehte hain ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --- While Making Love . . . Boy Says : Darling Let's Do 68 . . . ! ! ! 68 . . . ! ! ! What's That. . .? Girl Asks Boy: You Do It To Me And I'll Owe You One . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Height Of Reality. . . . An Actress Being Fucked By A Producer Without Using A Condom. . . Saying That She Has To Play The Role Of Pragnent Lady In He Next Movie. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Some More Heights Of . . . Height Of Sophistication: Sucking Nipples With A Straw. . . . . Height Of Technology: Condom With Zip. . . . Height Of Penetration: A Baby Girl Born Pragnant. . . . Height Of Noise: Two Skeletons Fucking In A Tin Room. . . . Height Of Patience: A Female Lying Naked Under A Banana Tree And Hoping For Banana To Fall In Her Pussy. . . . Height Of Coincidence: And The Banana Fallen In. . . . Height Of Comparison: Pissing Infront Of Niagra Fall. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Son : Dad Aap Ki Pent Ki Zip Khuli Hui Hai Dad: Aise Nahi Kehte, Bolo K Aap Ka Make-Up Box Khula Hua Hai . . . Son: Acha. . . Aap Ka Make-Up Box Khula Hua Hai Aur Lipstick Nazar Aa Rahi hai . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Tawaif: Sex Karogay? khush kar dongi! Chungre: Haan lekin Meri Bv ki Tarah Karwao gi to karonga? Tawaif: wo kaisay karwati hay?Chungre : Free main.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- sOme QueStIOns n AnswErS Q. Whats the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'? A. About 4 inches. Q. What have a KFC and a women got in common? A. Once you finished with the legs and breasts you are just left with a greasy box to chuck your bone in. Q. Why do women have two holes so close together? A. In case you miss. Q. If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? A. Divorce proceedings, most likely. Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists? A. They have shaky hands! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Teacher: Name the thing which carries more weight but has very less weight Student: Your "BRA"!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Man: chalo, aaj kuch naya karein Wife: kya kare? Man: aaj main tumhare kaan(ear) mein daaloonga Wife: nahi ... nahi... main behri ho gayi toh? Man: Maderchod!!! !!!!!!ab tak goongi hui kya? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Shohar BV se susral me: Aao chudai karen BV:Na na ye mere Baap ka ghar he Shohar:Kia mere Baap ka ghar CHAKLA ha jo har raat Chudwane k liye tayar rehti ho? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Raghupati Ragav Raja Raam Neeche Seeta Uper Raam Seeta Boli Bas Ker Raam Laxman Ko Bhi Kerna Hai Kaam Kerte Kerte Ho gaye Shaam 3 Months Main nikal Aaye Hanumaan ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -What Did Amitabh Tell His Son Afer His Wedding....? "Beta Abhi(shake) Kerne k Din gaye, Aur (Aish) Kerne K Din Aa Gaye.... " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -A Patan tried to commit suiside Someone askd: Y r u doing this...? Pathan: Humara Bivi Humara Dost K saath Bhaag gaya hai Aur Hum Apne dost k Bagher zinda nahi reh sakta....!!! ! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -- husband hands over a 500 rs. note to wife Husband: Humne kabhi ye kaam free mein nahi kiya wife hands back 200 rs. n says wife: Humne bhi jaan pehchaan walo se 300 se zyada nahi liye ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --A girl has many dreams and wants one special person to fulfill all those dreams, but a guy has only one dream and wants all girls to fulfill his ONE dream!!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -BOY: BUS Aur LARKI Ek Jesey Hotey Hain, Ek Jati Hai To Doosri Aa Jati Hai. GIRL: LARKEY Aur AUTO RICKSHAW Ek Jesey Hotey Hain, Ek Bulao To Char Chaley Atey Hain. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Pathan BV K Liye Phool Laya To BV Ney Kaprey Utarey Aur Tangain Khol Kar Bistar Pay Lait Gayee! Pathan2His Wife: Mard Chod Ghar Main GULDAAN Nahi Hai Kia ? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Cinema Main AURATON Key HAQOOQ Par Film Chal Rahi Thi. 1 AURAT Ney Josh Main Naara Lagaya, Aaj Ki Aurt Kia Nahi Kar Sakti? . Ek Awaz Aayee, DEEWAAR PAR PISHAAB ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Sardarni 2 Sardar: Tussi Hazaron Main Aik Ho. Sardar Ney Kuss Key Aik Thappar Sardarni Ko Lagaya Aur Bola: KAMEENI BAQI 999 KON HAIN ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- 1 khan Plane mian safar kar raha tha hostes ny us k zor dar thapper mara, khan k sath jo admi betha tha wo bohat pareshan hoa khan sy bola tum ne kuch bola nahi phir tum ko kyon mara, khan sharma k bola us ki qamiz gand main phasi hoi thi main ne nikali to usne ghusse se dekha, main ne wapis phasa di ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- When Kareena & priyanka went to KBC, Shahrukh askd : what do u like the most in Kbc? They both lifted their skirt n said: Fastest Finger first... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Mubarik ho govt na tari sun li bari tension ma tha tu mera daikh kar gusa karta tha ab khush ho ja Market mein 1inch ki Lulli wala condom b aa gya hae! :P ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Teacher: what is common between Indra Gandhi & Sonia Gandhi? Student: After thinking: Sir, nipples of both had been sucked by Rajive Gandhi..------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- 1st Boy 2nd Sey: “Main Aur Meri Girl Friend Shaadi Kar Rahey Hain” 2nd Boy: WoW, Shadi Kab Hai?. 1st Boy: “Meri 7-Oct Aur Uski 13-Nov Ko ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Dhoka Mila Jab Peyar Main, Zindagi Main Udassi Chha Gayee, Socha Tha Chhor Dain Gey Iss Rah Ko, Kambakht Muhalley Main Doosri Aa Gayee. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------- PART-XIII Aati thi.... Jati Thi,,,, Hasti thi Hasati thi Muskurati thi.. Dekhti thi Dekhati thi Aaj pata chala sali chutiya banati thi.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Whose mother had the most painful delivery? Guess? Still thinking... SUNNY DEOL Why? He himself said - "maiy nikla gadi lay kay" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Samandar k Kinaray Bethay hain Kabhi tu koi Lehar ayegi. kismat Badlay na Badlay Gaand tu Dhul jayegi...... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- a girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji girl: sardar ji main tuwadi nakal maar laan? sadar ji:ahoo to meri nakal maar lay fair main teri asal maran ga ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- there r 2 frnds,, one is married and other is going to be married... the second one is confused and asked his married frnd tht i don't know about fucking, so how would i manage,, his friends gives him a mobile and says tht he will give instruction to him ,,, at the wedding night,, he asked his frnd wht to do? frnd: reveal ghunghat he: ok, then frnd: take off her n ur clothes ... he: (after sometime) ok, then frnd: now, there is 1 thing which both u n me have,, put inside in her pussy ... he: (thinks a while) and put his mobile inside... ;) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --what is the real tradgedy of film sholay? Ek to thakur ki biwi nahi thee upper se gubbar ne uske haath kaat diye ;) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP! GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP CARRY ON !!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Girl while reporting abt her rape 2 policeman who was a sardar. She started 1 of them dragg me down the other1 grabbed my left boob & 3rd on my right boob, 1st one started 2 suck them, then they parted my legs &...policemen shouted..... oye shut up oye.....to aithay apnay rape di report likwan aai hai ya phir mera lun khara karwan aai hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---A Rocket & a Plane meet after ages. Plane says: "Yaar rocket, tu itni tez raftaar se kaise udh jate ho?" Rocket replies "Yeh toh wohi jaane jis ke gand main AAG lagi ho...." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --A 50 years old man fucked an 90 years old woman. He starts suckung her breasts, after 10 min the man got died, police came and make postmartum report, in report it was written that the date of the milk was xpired..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- an arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. you name pls : "abdul aziz" sex : "six times a week!!" no, no, I mean male or female. "doesn't matters male or female, sometimes even camel!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---HOW DOES A CRICKET COMMENTATOR DESCRIBES A NAKED WOMAN? NO COVER NO EXTRA COVER NO SLIP 2 SILLY POINTS 2 FINE LEGS AND A DEEP GULLY LITTLE GRASS ON THE PITCH ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---a man carrying 3 babies & travelling in a train.....A Women sitting near him inquired.... ...R these sweeties belongs 2 u?.....MAN : no mam i work in a condom factory n these r customerz complainz... .. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Advantages of breast milk? A) No need to boil. B) Cat can't steal it. C) Available in attractive containers. D) Popular in all age groups. E) Ek Pee Ek Free. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -An Army Guy Got Married..... On 1st Night he realizes tht his Wife Haveing periods..... He telegrams to Head Office.....Red alert on front Extend Leave.....Reply From Head Office.....Attack from back & report..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Jab Gaber paiyda hua tu us ki maa ney gaber ko thaper kyun mara???????? cuz he asked "KITNEY AADMI THEY !!" ;) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -- If u don't smoke, don't drink, don't have girl friend, don't fuck, don't play cards, then visit our website: www.paida_kyun_ hua_chutia. com ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ek sardarji ko ekdin office jaaney mein der ho gayee, usne bus stop jaakar dekha ki ek bus us hi waqt bus stop chhorke jaa raha tha. sardaarji bus ke peeche peeche bhaagne laga, aur driver ko chilla chilla kar kehne laga "arrey bus roko , bus roko". firbhi driver ney bus nahin roka. par kuchh second baad sardaarji ney bus pakar liya. sardar 2 driver >> oy yaar, yeh bus teri maa lagti hain?? driver >> nahin to !! sardar >> teri behan lagti hain? driver >> nahin to !! sardar >> to phir teri biwi lagti hogi !! driver >> arrey nahin yaar ! kyon? sardar >> abbe saaley, to phir charne kyon nahin deta?????? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Zandu Balm,Zandu Balm,Gote karde Jam,Lund ki Khujli Dur Kare,Chut ko De Aaram,Zandu Balm, Zandu Balm.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Miya aur bibi me bhayanak jhagda ho gaya.Miya gusse se titmilata hua chillaya- gaand maar doonga!!!Bibi boli:"Aage ki to sochte nahin, bus peeche pade rehte ho.." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another "I slept wid ur mom last nite" D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response. He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- how was nisar born ? "jawani janeman...haseen dil ruba mile jo dil jawan...NISAR hogaya " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Doc 1- Shit i had sex with my patient,im feelin guilty. Doc 2 - It happens in our profession,take it easy. Doc 1 - Ya..Ya..but u see.. im a VETERNARY DOCTOR ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Nurse lost her cat. nurse in the hospital- any 1 got a pussy,all women stood up,i mean any one seen a pussy, all men stood up.I meant any one seen my pussy, all doctors stood up. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Bahu saas ki paon daba rahi thi.GHAGHRA upar hogaya.Bahu boli: PRANAAM, SAAS: Kisko? BAHU: SASURJI KI RANBHUMI AUR MERE PATI KI JANAM BHUMI KO ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------three friends discussing about AIDS 1: i m so afraid of aids that i always use condom 2: i m that afraid of sex that i even wore condom in my fingers 3: i m that afraid of aids that i dun take chance just call my neighbour and ask him to do the honors ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- 3 pathano ki bvian preginent hojatin hain 3 ke 3 shartain laga rahe hote hain phela bolta hai mere bete ka 1 feet ka lund hoga..doosra bolta hai bas 1 feet ka ? mere bete ka 10 feet ka lund hoga..teessra ghuroor se khara ho ker kheta hai mere bete ka 100 feet ka lund hoga.. utne main hi 3 ke 3 ki bv ki delivery hojati hai nurse phele pathan ke pas jati hai kheti hai mubarak ho aapka beta hua uska 1 feet ka lund hai...doosre ke paas jati kheti hai mubarak ho aapka beta hua aur uska 10 feet ka lundh hai woh ghuroor karne lagta itne main nurse teesre wale ke paas jati aur kheti hai mubarak ho aapka lund hua hai thora sa bacha bhi laga hua hai lol ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Sardar & sardarani waiting at signal. a tapori boy comes & says "kay paji rakhel hai kay ?" sadar furiously says "Oye sale, rakhel hogi terio meri to biwi hai." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Aik sawal ka jawab YES ya NO main do .. Kia aap ne gaand marwani chhor dia hai .. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -- Jake n Jill went up da hill to fetch a pail ov water God know wat they did there And came bak wid a Daughter. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -For toothpaste ad they show teeth. For hair oil they show hair. For face cream they show face. But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- PAK wicket keeper MOIN got married, His wife asked y the media how Moin was on wedding night. She said he stood behind the bed & said "AUR TEZ DALO WASIM BHAI" 2) pakhane maine ja baitha, to tum yaad aaye gand jab dhoyi,to tum yaad aaye pant jab uper uthai, to laga aur hagas(shit) aayi. 3) Ansu tere nikle, to ankhen meri ho, Dil tera dhadke, to dhadkan meri ho, Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho, Baap tu bane, to mehnat meri ho ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Girl: sorry sir u can't smoke here Customer: but i bought the cigarettes from your shop? Girl: we also sell condom. you can't start fucking here ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Sardar ji ko police walo ne undress kar ke jungle main phaink diya.. wahan isse sab janwar dekh ke hansne lage... Sardar kaafi pareshan, qareeb ja ke aik bandar se poocha, "Oye khote dia putra..tum log mere oper hans kyun rahe ho..." bandar ne kaha, Hum hans iss liyeh rahe hain ke hum sab k dom (tail) peeche laga huaa hai, aur tumhara aage ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ek din ek ladke ki shaadi hoti hai... usse kuch maloom nahi hota karna kia hai sohag raat ke waqt.. woh apne dosto se poochta hai kia karoon? uss ke dost kehte hai, jo woh kare, tum bhi wahi karo... Raat hoti hai, dulhan undress hoti hai, ladka bhi aisa he karta hai.. dulhan bed pe jaati hai, ladka bhi wahi karta hai.. dulhan doggy position pe layt ti hai, ladka bhi aisa karta hai.. dulhan ladke ki taraf goorti hai(ke aa ke fuck kare) ladka bhi goorne lagta hai... akher main dulhan usse kehti hai "jao galli se 2 ladke pakar ke lao, aik tujhe chodhe aik mujhe" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- HEIGHT OF POVERTY:UR WIFE STICHING A CONDOM HEIGHT OF INNOCENCE:A GIRL APPLYING CLEARSIL 2 HER NIPPLES THINKING THEY R PIMPLE...... HEIGHT OF UNEMPLOYMENT: A SPIDER WEB FOUND IN A PROSTITUTES PUSSY... HEIGHT OF LAZINESS:NAKED MAN SLEEPING ON A NAKED WOMAN EXPECTING AN EARTHQUAKE 2 DO THE REST... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- WHICH R THE 2 MOST IMPORTANT HOLES THAT GOD HAS GIVEN TO A WOMAN ? ANS: THE NOSTRILS,SO THAT THEY CAN BREATHE WHILE THEY GIV BLOWJOBS TO MEN. PART-XIV ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Larkey waley larki dekhnay gaye.... Sasur: Beti tumhien chaey aati hai? Larki sharma k: Mujhe abhi DOODH nahi aata Chaey kahan se aaeygi. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Jo Kuch Mila Girls ko mila ..Lips milay chuswaanay ko..Boobs Milay dabwanay ko.Choot mili Chudwanay ko, Tujhe or mujhe kia mila sirf land woh bhi hilane ko. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- A SAD STORY : A Little boy was so Jealous of his new born Brother dat he put Poison on d Nipple of his mom while she was Asleep.. Next Day Their Driver Died.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -1 Call Gal Subah Subah naha dhokar, tayaar hokar apni panty k andar Agarbatti ghuma rahi thi.. Dusri Call Gal ne pucha "Yeh Kya Kar Rahi Ho...?" To pehli wali ne jawab diya "DUKAAN KHOLNE KA TIME HO GAYA HAI . . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -As they watched a hot love scene on a cable channel, the husband asked his wife, "Why don't you ever make love to me like that?" "Are you kidding?" she replied. "Do you have any idea how much she gets paid to do that?!" . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Sardar wanted to fuck his gf, ashamed of his small penis he takes her to a dark place and takes out his penis and gives it in her hand .... GF : THANKS !!!! But i dont smoke....... . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Paisa gaand ki tarah hota hey, hota subke pas hey lekin dena koi nahi chahta Aur Mashwara lun ki tarah hota hey dena sub chahte hein lekin lena koi nahi chahta. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- A sardar asked his girlfriend "kia tumhare underwear mein hole hey? Girlfriend replied "no" Sardar "to phir taangain kahan se dalti ho? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------How wud u tell ur galfriend if u want to go to toilet on 1st date. Dear I've to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I'm going to introduce u later ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Husband Condom Dekhkar WIFE Ko KEHTHA Hai, Ye KACHRA Yaha Kyu PADA Hai. . . ? WIFE:Aapke 2 DOSTH Aaye They, Mujhe KELA Khila Kar CHILKA Yahi Chorh gaye . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Pandit Phati Dhoti Pehen k Mandir Main Maatha Tekne Jhuka Tou Ek Aurat Ne "CHANDAPETI" Samajh K Sikka Daal Dia . . . Pandit Mur Ker Bola : Ab Ghanta Bhi Baja . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------AIDS Awarnes Slogans. . . Cover Your Stump Before You Pump Don't-Be-Silly! Protect Your Chilly Dont Be A Fool, Con domize ur TOOL Fwd 2 all careless Fuckers. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Mom found a Condom in Daughter's Bedroom She went Straight to her and asked What is this? Girl replied-Toh aap kya Chahti hain mein is umr mein Maa ban Jaon? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Dosti wo patli sandas nahi jo gir kar bikhar jaati hai.. yeh tou who karak lendi hai jo dus baar pani daalne par bhi apna nishaan chorh jaati hai. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -A Newly Married Man was Standing in Front of a Mirror Naked and was Admiring his Physique.. " 2 inches more & I will be a king.. " Suddenly the Wife Comes in and says, " 2 inches Less and you will be a Queen! " ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -- Lund ki kahani: Main lund hon,meri normal height 6 inch hai,jawan larkion ko dekh k mere mu me pani aa jata hai,larkon me meri bari value hai,mein gand,or MU me dalne k kam aata hon,mere se MUTH b mari jati hai.meri munpasand dress kohinor condum hai,main msg parh raha hon . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Never Abuse Ur sincere friends.. When you see some faults in them, Be patient n realize that.. "Ma ka Lora, Hai he Chutya Gandu ki Nasal, Barwa" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---2 Doctor Apas Me, 1st: Kal Maine Apne Patient K Sath SEX Kia.. 2nd: Koi Baat Nhi, Hamari Field Mein aisa Hota Rehta He.. 1st: Magar Mein JANWARON Ka Doctor Hoon. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---1 kaam karo, Paint utaro,, Under wear utaro, Gaand pe petrol dalo, Or Aag laga do, Jo cheez DOSTON k kaam na aayee woh rakhne ka kia FAIDA?? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Tu apni kismat aazmana chor dey,Ab to us ke naam ki Muth lagaana choor dey,LondayBazoo ne kar di hai ek haftey ki hartal,Ab to tu bhi gaand marana choor de. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Aik aadmi ek randi ko lund pe baitha k poochta hai..Tum din main kitna kaama leti ho? ..Ranid: 500 ..Aadmi: Sach sach bataoo ..Randi: Rozi pe baithi hoon..Jhoot thori bolongi. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Frnd: Air hostess ne kyon mara? ..Pathan: O yaara uska qameez gaand main ghusa huwa tha Mainay bahir nikala to gussa kiya...Hum Samja usse bura laga to wpis ghusa diya. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Zoo main bachey ne haathi ka land dekh kar poocha..mamma yeh kia hai? Mamma: Kuch nahi hai. pappa:Dekha beta tumhari mama k liye yeh bhi kuch nahi hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------One rapiest goes to hell, Yamraj told his dasi fry him in oil. After some time yamraj aske to dasi : kyu nahi fry kiya ? Dasi : ye to chula jalane ke liye bhi jukane nahi deta. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- TEACHER: bacho wo kon c cheez hai jo munh mein nahi dalnee chahey ? EK BACHA: galta howa BALAB . TEACHER: wo keyon? BACHA: kal raat mama papa se bool rahi the pehley BALAB band karo per munh mein dalon gee ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -larka baap se. papa wo kon c chez hoti hai jis k charo tarf bal hotey hai? papa:larke ki tarf dekhne laga. larka:papa main bataon? papa:chup kar. larka:papa aankh hai aap lund samaj rahe they na. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan? Jeeto: Dono. He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui? Jeeto: Ji Hui. Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon? Jeeto: Ji. Santa: Yeh erect hai! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Shohar:- Ye lo, Sara din riksha chalaya,400 kamaya aur 350 ka tail lag gaya. Wife:- Ye lo 1 ghanta din ka lagaya 5000 kamaya aur 1 Qatra tail ka nahi lagaya... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -SexY GirL 2 HeR BoYfrnd... Main teri baahon mein aana chahti hun apne lips tere lips se milana chahti hun apne goray tan se utar k sab kapre main tere bistar ko sajana chahti hun tujhe apni chhati ka nazara dikha k usey tere hathon se dabwana chahti hun apni dono tango ko thora sa khol k apni sharamgah mein dikhana chahti hun meri sharamgah ko sehlana tum zuban se aaj is ka lutf b main utana chahti hun muje tum bistar pe le ja kar masal dalo apna kunwara pan main torwana chati hun... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Agar Aap Larkiyo'n Se Hamesha Ghirey Rehna Chahte Hyn. . . Agar Aap Chahte Hyn K Wo Aapka "PRODUCT" Haath Me Lekar Muunh Main Daaley. . . Tou. . . Paani- Puuri Ka Thela Laga Lo Yaar . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Ek Dafa Ek Chor Ek Ghar Main Chori Kerne Gaya Tou Wahan Pe Ek Aadmi Ne Usay Pakar Ker Neechey Giraya Aur Bete Ko Bola : Beta Is Ki Gaand Maar . . . Beta Try Kerne Laga, Magar Andar Nahi Gaya Tou Wo Bola: Abba Is Ki Bohat Tyt Hai Andar Nahi Ja Raha. . . Baap Bola: Ja Andar Se Churii La Aur Cheera Maar k Khol De Chor Bola: Bhai G, Thuk Laa K Check Te karo . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Man 1: meri biwi bewakoof hai.. ghar mein light nahi hai aur microwave le aayi.. Man 2: meri biwi to aur bhi badi bewakoof hai. Lund nahi hai lekin purse mein condom rakhti hai... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Boy asked a girl: can we have sex? Girl: maar jaaongi magar tumhare saath nahi karungi. Boy: kamini.. mar sakti hai lekin kisi ki kaam nahi aa sakti? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------A hindu-muslim- Christian buy a car in partnership. Hindu applied tilak on car, christian put a cross, Miya ne silencer 2 inch kaat diya... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- On 1st night Santa uses all his power to push it in. Fails but proudly says: Too tight! But I'm happy I'm the 1st. Bride: No ji. Others removed the panty 1st ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Malika Sherawat: I want 34 size bra Salesman:madam i think its too small for ur breast Malika: Its not for my breast its for my nipples. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Eik Shayer Ka Bacha Class Mai Fail Hogaya.. Tu Usne Shair Kaha.. Kismat Ki Maa Ki Chut Lora Naseeb Ka.. Her SaaL FaiL Hota Hai Bacha Gareeb Ka.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------What's the geographical definition of sex. . . ? It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, Occasionally with a little help from Greece. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------After Sex For The First Tym In Life The Girl Says: Guru G Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gayan Ho Gaya Sirf COCK Bujhaye Pyaas Baqi GAJAR MOOLI BHUTTA KELA Sb Bakwaas ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Raam Laal : Thakur Sahab Gabbar Ne Bahu Ki Ijjat Luut Li Hai Thakur: Tou ? ? ? Raam Laal : ahu Pooch Rahi Hai Gabbar Se Badla Lena Hai Ya Payment. . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------A Little Girl Askd A Call Girl : Aunty U Have Car, Bunglow And Big Bank Balance . . . What’s Ur Bussines . . . Call Girl: Bas Ek Chota Sa "Hole Sale’ Ka Business Hai. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Girl 2 Rikshaw Wala : Kion BHaiya Jayega . . . ? ? ? Rikshaw Wala : Bilkul Jayega Madam Abhi Tou Greace Laga K Khara Kia Hy Girl: Tou Fir Ghuma K Peeche Le Lo . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Maine Us Se Naam Jo Poocha Us Ne Badnaam Likh Bheja Maine Poocha Tere Baal Kaise Hain Us Ne Jhanto'n Ki Dukaan Likh Bheja Maine Poocha Tere Boobs Kaise Hain Us Ne Doodh Ki Dukaan Likh Bheja Maine Poocha Teri Gaand Kaisi Hai Us Ne Factory Godaam Likh Bheja Maine Poocha Kabhi Lun Dekha Hai Us Ne Tera Hi Naam Likh Bheja . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Railway Warning Board Rail Ki Patri Par Beth Ker Tatti Na Karain . . . Aap Roz Haath Se Gaand Dhote Hain . . . Kisi Din Gaand Se Haath Dho Bethenge . . .---------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------A Dentist was removing a tooth of a lady. . . He said: "Mam you are holding my balls" She said," I know, its just to remind you that we are not going to hurt each other". . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Tabiyat Main Ek Ajeeb Sa Hejan Hai Mushkil Main Meri Ye Jaan Hai Samajh K Tu Ek Pathan Hai "MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI" Ek Qatra Bhi Na Chorna Laga De Jitni Bhi Jaan Hai "MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI" Teri Dhaar Main Kia Jaan Hai Teri Dhaar Ki Kia Shaan Hai "MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI" Chokeedar Se Kia Darna Wo Bhi Tou Ek Pathan Hai "MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI" Bas Ker De Pathan K Ab Sailaab Ka Imkaan Hai "MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI"........ .. PART-XV ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Yuhi hat se muth laga laga k mar jao ge humne lund dekhaya tu dar jao ge ek bar leker tu dekho lund hamara bar bar ki lene ki zid pe arr jao ge.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -Barish me Ladki ke gile boobs dekhkar Boy: Apki headlight on ho gai hai.. Girl: Mera Bap bill bharega tumhe kya? Boy: Par bijli ka Khamba to Mera Hil raha hai... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -Aurat K 3 Karishmay! 1) Baghair Ghaass Khaye Doodh Deti Hai. 2) Baghair Daanton K Kaccha Gosht Khati Hai. 3) Baghair Lund K, Mard Ki Gaand Maar Deti Hai.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ---Some Giggling Facts: 1: Fuck a girl & she'll love you, Love a girl & she'll fuck you! 2: Most men have split personalities; They hate cats but love pussies. 3: The words "naked" & "nude" are not the same. Naked implies unprotected & Nude means unclothed. 4: Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love. 5: Common thing between a girl's legs and butter: Both are delicious when spread... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- If your boss says NOTHING is impossible.. . Ask him to try and wear a condom after sex... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Love is not measured by hugging kissing n sex. Its all abt trusting, respecting n accepting a prson wid OPEN LEGS CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS saying "PUSH IT MORE" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -A Criminal Broke Into Bed Room ,Tied Up Husband & Wife , Kissed Wife's Ear & Went 2 Bathroom.. Husband: Satisfy Him Or He Will Kill Us ,Be Strong I LOVE YOU. Wife: He Did't Kiss Me , He Whispered In My Ear That He's Gay ,Needs Vaseline I Told Him Its In The Bathroom . So Be Strong I Love U Too ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Q. What is a Zebra? A. 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Q: What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub. . . ? Ans: One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole. . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------C The Difference . . . A Man Talks To A Woman So That He Can Sleep With Her But A Woman Sleeps With A Man So That She Can Talk To Him. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot..... ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------- Sardar & A Girl Were Having Sex. . . Suddenly Sardar Asks : Do U Have AIDS ? Girl: No Sardar: Thank God ! Don’t Want To Get That Again . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Macher k katney sy aids q nahi hota? Student: Miss macher katt ta hy, chodta thori hy... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Do sardar jinhone ne kabhi train nahi dekhi thi wo apni behan ko sasural se mayke le ja rahe thay... Behan ko susu aaya wo jhadiyo me beth gai... itne me train aa gai sardar bola.. “bhen di fuddi kinni vaddi“ behan khadi ho ke “veera tu kado dekh liti...“ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- What’s The Difference Between Lux & Other Beauty Soaps ? Koi Farq Nahi Hai . . . Marni Tou Aap Ne MUTH Hii Hai Konsa Muun Dhona Hai . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Arz Kia Hy Zameen Se Aasman Tak Aasman Se Zameen Tak Zameen Se Aasman Tak Aasman Se Zameen Tak Hawa Hi Hawa Hai Mera LUND Teri Har Beemari Ki Dawa Hai . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Aasman Par Jitne Sitaare Hyn (Wah Wah) Aankhom Main Jitne Ishare Hyn (Wah Wah) Samandar K Jtne Kinare Hyn (Wah Wah) Utne Hii Keeray Gaand Me Tumhare Hyn ( AB Kro Wah Wah ) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Newly married gals frnd says : " 4 weeks Honeymoon in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada. Wo0ooooww... .what have u seen in places". . . . . . . . . . . . Hmmmm.... Ceiling Fans...... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---\. . . ToDaYz ThOuGhT . . ./ TheRe MaY Be SomeThInG BeTtEr ThAn SEX And SoMeThInG WoRsE tHaN SEX But ThErE's NoThInG ExAcTlY LiKe SEX . . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- 1ST MAN: HOW IS YOUR SEX LIFE? 2ND MAN: DO IT MONDAY TO FRIDAY 1ST MAN: WHAT ABOUT WEEKENDS? 2ND MAN: ON WEEKENDS I AM AT HOME! RELAXING WITH MY WIFE. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Girl During Sex : Mere Moo Main Ungli Daalo , Meri gaand Main Ungli Daalo , Meri Choot Main Ungli Daalo Boy : Behan Ki Lori ! Yeh Lund Kiaa JOKE Parhnay Walay Ki Gand Main Daalon ? ? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------An Elephant raped a girl , she went to a doctor for examination . Doc said Elephant has 3 inches penis , but y ur ass is 10 inches wide opened? She replied " that bastard elephant fingered me first '' ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Why do women wear panty? . . . Bcause State law says all the man-holes must be covered when not in use. . . ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- - Do u know what is common between Shoe laces and smart men? no ANSWER: They keep in touch with severel holes simultaneously. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -MeN ALWAYS sAy "I Love You" tO GIRLS bUt!! wAt True meAning oF thiS? "I" Am "L"ooking "O"ut 4 "V"aginal "E"ntry "Y"ou mUst Take "O"ff uR "U"nderwear. .! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -once santa went to bar ..there he met a girl santa asked her name? girl said my name is CARMEN ......because i like car and men.. ...then girl asked santa whats his name... he said ....daaru boob singh pussy . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -Grammar teacher: "David daaru nahi peeta hai", Is sentence main 'David' kya hai . . . ? ? Student: Madam, David Chutiya hai . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Yoon Honton Se Hont Mila Lena... Phir Haath Mumo'n Pe Pher Dena.. Phir Choot Ka Paani Nikaal Dena... Kuch Apne Lund Tu Dikha Dena Kuch Meri Choot Ko Dekh Lena.. Kuch Choot Ko Bhi Chaat Lena Kuch Hum Bhi Lund Ko Chosen Ge Kuch Apni Pyas Bujha Lena Kuch Humari Pyas Bharha Dena Kuch Choot Main Lund Daal Dena Aur Choot Main Khoob Ghuma Dena Phir Main Bhi Lund Pe Bethoon Gi Aur khoob Chudai karwaoon Gi Aur Apni Piays Bujhaoon Gi Aur Tumhari Pyas Barhaon Gi ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Which is the Worst moment in Ur life? Imagine, When U are giving lip to lip kiss 2 Ur girl friend and suddenly she vomits in Ur mouth.! Just imagine!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- 1 hasband & wife were going in the forest, Husband bola darling apni bra tight karlo, Wife: Q Husband: suna hai aj kal cheeta bhi peeta hai. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Sardar Ko Teesri Bar Bachi Hui, To Usne Elaan Kia K Mera Beta Peda Hua Hai, = Dost Ne Dekha To Kaha K Ye Larki Hai, = Sardar Bola "Ay Munda Maa Pe Gaya Ay" :-) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Professor : What Does that "V" on Your T-Shirt Stand for? College Girl : "Virgin". Professor : R you a Virgin? College Girl : Well, it's a 5 Years Old TShirt... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Is Sawal Ka Jawab Jo Nahi Dega Wo GANDO 2 Bhai Thay 1 Ka Naam Muun Main Loonga 2 Ka Gand Main Loonga Muun Main Loonga Mar Gaya Tou Kon Bacha ? jaldi jawab do ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Teacher To A Student : ''Table par ink kisne girai hai. . .? '' Isko punjabi me translate ker k batao Student : Eh kine maa chudai hai.. ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Sardar Ka Beta 5th Class Mai Fail Huwa to 4th Mai Wapis Aaya... 4th Mai Fail to 3rd Mai aur 3rd Se 2nd... Sardar Biwi Se Bola Panty Tight Karle Wo Wapas Aa Raha Hai ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Cinema mein film dekhte howe 1 aurat ka bacha ronay laga Peeche se awaz aai: isko munh mein doodh daalo Aurat ka shohar bola: oay kon hey oay samne aa Peeche se phir awaz aai: dosra iske munh mein daalo ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Yesterday my LUN had an accident wid a PHUDDI & admitted to CHOOT hospital near TOPA chowk Dr TATTA said: matter is serious GAND needed So plz donate ur GAND ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------80yrs old man to dr:meri 20 saal ki wife pregnant hey dr: 1 story suno 1 shikari shikar pe jate howe jaldi mein gun ki jaga umbrella le gya jungle mein uske samne lion aa gya usne umbrella ka handle khaincha aur fire kar diya aur lion mar gya old man:impossible kisi aur ne mara hoga dr:exactly ;-) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------"Arz Kia Hai" Jan-e-Mann Mujhe Maar Daalo, Zara Meri Paint Me Haath Dalo, Lamba Lage To Kaat Dalo, Mota Lagay To Chaat Dalo, Acha Lagay To Apni Gaand Mein Dalo... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Kothay Par Police Ne Chapa Mara, Tumam Logo Ko Line Me Khara Kiya, Waha Se 1 Boorhi Aurat Guzri, Usne Line Me 1 Larki Se Pocha Yaha Kya Ho Raha Hy? Larki: AaM Bant Rahe Hain Boorhi B Line Me Lag Gai, Jab Us Ka Number Aaya To Police Ne Kaha AMMa Aap B? Boorhi: Mun Me Daant Nahi To Kya Hua Choos To Sakti Hon na... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --Kid saw his mom messing with make up on her face & she said: Shit. when Kid asked: What is Shit ? Mom: it is 2nd word for Makeup. then he saw his sister talking on phone abt Condoms. Kid asked her: what is a Condom ? Sister: Its 2nd word for Clothes. Then Kid saw his father was cutting a chicken. when he cuts his finger & said Fuck, Kid asked: what is fuck ? Father: its 2nd word for Cutting. Suddenly door bell rang Kid opened the door & his grandma came in & asked: where is every1 ? Kid: Mom is upstairs putting shit on her face, Sister is putting condoms on & Daddy is Fucking the Chicken... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- -A Kid In A Bus Sitting Behind Driver Starts Saying Kid : If My Dad Was A Bull And My Mom A Cow I'd Be A little Bull Driver Got Mad At Noisy Kid , Kid Continues Kid : If My Dad Was An Elephant And Mom A Girl Elephant So I Would Be A Little Elephant Kid Goes On And On With Many Animal Names.When Driver Gets Angry And Said Driver : If You Father Was GAY And Your Mother Was A Prostitute?? Kid Smiles And Said : I Would Be A BUS DRIVER ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- --KID : DAD MUJHE SCHOOL JAANE K LIYE CYCLE CHAAHIYE.... . DAD : KYAA TERA LUNND TERI GAAND TAK PAHONCHTA HAI....??? KID : NAHI DAD..! DAD : JIS DIN PAHONCHEGA TAB AANA....ABHI NAHI...!!! AFTER FEW YEARS....... .. KID : DAD MUJHE COLLEGE JAANE K LIYE BIKE CHAAHIYE.... ! DAD :KYAA TERA LUNND TERI GAAND TAK PAHONCHTA HAI....??? KID HAPPILY : HAAAN-HAAAN DAD AB POHONCHTA HAI......!! DAD : "TO MAADARCHOD.. ..APNI MAAR NA MERI GAAND KYUN MAARTA HAI... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & Raped by Robbers.., Malik 2 Naukar :- SHAKAL DEKHI THI UN LOGO KI ? Naukar :- Malkin se pucho ,Muje to Ulta Letaya tha ...!!!! PART-VI Chahta Hoon Tujhe Pyar Doon Dosti Pe Apni Zindagi Waar Doon Par Jab Tera koi REPLY Nahi Milta To Dil Kerta Hy Teri G@ND Pe Goli Maar Doo......... ......... ........ ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... . Father & son went to medical store Father buys pack of condoms Son: Whats this? Father: Its medicine for killing rats Son: O bhenchod! Ch00t mein bhi choohe..! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------Manmohan America gaye..>>BUSH se bole,raat ko maal bhejo..! >>Bush:16 saal ki ya 20 ki..?Manmohan: 65 ki bhejo,hum America ki beti nahi maa ch0dne aye hain..!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------Husband: Tum meri kis cheez se sabse zyada impress ho..? Life Style,. Car,. Bank Balance.? Biwi: Tumhare Sexx se..,tumhara jaisa Sexx mohalle me kisi ko nahi aata..! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai? Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -Ye ladkiya b kitni chalaak hoti he,apna 16 rupye litre wala DUDH ka lalach dekar hamara 180 rupye kilo wala GHEE nikal leti hai..! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ---16 sundria Swiming pool me naha rahi thi, achanak . . Pool ka sara pani sukh gaya ! Pucho kyun ? Yahi he asli WHISPER ka kamal"Gilepan ki chhutti.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --- Girl to boyfrnd-Dear, do u know apki lulli duniya ki sabse badi lulli hai?? boy-Achcha, Girl-kyun ki,iske baad lund ki catagari hoti hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity". ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --newly married husbnd to wife at his in-laws home- chalo darlin aaj sex karte hai....!!! wife- nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai...!! husbnd- to kya mere hi baap ne randi khana khol rakha hai???? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----ghalib na fermaya : koi saheli na mili to na sahi , tere jesa dost tu mil gaya WAH WAH chalo choot na mili tu na sahi .. tere jesa chootiya tu mil gaya ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----Aftr marriage couple in bed She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She:0h!dat feels gud. hand moves 2 her breast. She:Honey,dats wonderful. hand moves 2 her leg. She:0h honey dnt stop. He stops. She:Why did u stop? He: Coz I found d remote! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----Ultimate thought: Failure is not when ur girlfrand leaves u, its only when u leave her.. .....virgin ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ---On first night Wife: aaj mera upwaas hai! Husband slaped his wife and said kya mere lund par aata laga hai jo tera upwas toot jayega ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --Kisi condom company ne world-cup ko sponser kiya hota to uski advt me aise likh te.... Cover your STUMP. Before you PUMP ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --Responses during sex_ a) GIRLFRIEND - Wow darling, this is gr8... b) PROSTITUTE - Come on.. finish it now.. c) WIFE - I think d ceiling needs painting.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -TOTALLY NON-VEG Bhosri Plaza Hotel 'MENU CARD' Grilled m ummay; Achari l und; P huddi of the day; Tandoori b und L ullian sirkay waali: Chilly c hoot; T attay mughlai Gori b und da halwa; Nargisi t attay; P huddi pakoray; L und folooda; Mard makhan naan; Afghani g and kabab; Daigay m ammay; L und khara masala; B hosri fried rice; Melted t utti cream; P eeshab up; ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- - Whats the height of bad luck... A man had sex in dream and got AIDS ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Two Sardars got into a heated argument.While argueing, 1 of them shouted "Kiss My A ss!"The other replied "This is not the time 2 b romantic'.. :-) ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------Banta to wife : It is shame but let me confess I have become HOMOSEXUAL. Wife: How come? Banta: I have Sex at HOME only! Wife:Thank god I am not ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Da ultimate truth of Life is dat,"SUCCESS KISSES U IN PRIVATE" But.... "FAILURE ALWAYS FU CKS U IN PUBLIC" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----What is the height of shock? When you are having sex with a pregnant woman and suddenly a hand grabs your dick from inside! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------A Couple Was Kissing In Da Garden Suddenly Dog n Bitch Start Fucking Boy: Janu Mera Bhi Dil Kerta Hy Main Bhi Ker Loon Girl : Ok, Par Sambhal Ker Kutiya Kaat Na Le ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------ Milk Products According To Breast Size . . . ! ! ! 32 Tarang Chota Pack Bara Maza 34 Everyday Jaise Chahe Piyo 36 Olper’s Un K Liye Jo Dil Khol Ker Peete Hyn ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne gaon me dekh kar ek budha bola, "In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha, ab kya HANDSET bhi le jayenge? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Dad-Beti ki Shadi zaldi karni chahiye. Mom-Ji ha,kitchen se roj GAJAR,MULI gayab ho rai he Grndfathr-Do din se meri lakdi bhi gayab hai ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----Pilot to tower:"i'm 300 miles from land,600 feet over water & no fuel,plz instruct." ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Tower to pilot:"Gaaaand marao!!!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- Agar Gandhiji ke samay me AIDS hota to kya hota? . . . . . Toh chautha(4th) bandar underwear ke saamne haath karke khada hota ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Degrees Of Girl BA – Beautifull Ass LLB – Lovly Lickable Breasts BSc – Beautifull Sexy Cunr MBBS – Member Of Big Boobs Society MBA – Married But Available ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ----1 Larka Mar Gya Tou Us Ki maa Roty Huey Boli; Mere Larke Ne Dunya Main Dekha Hii Kia Tha 1 Parosan Larki Boli : Maine Tumhare Larke Ko Sab Kuch Dikha Dia Tha ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Grl 2 Swami: Can i c d future? Swami: Gt nakd & bend & he startd oiling her asss.. She: It feels u're gonna fuk me? Swami: dekha tum future dekhne lagi na..!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------Aaj maine 2 kasme khai hai... 1) Parai ladki pe nazar nahi dalunga. 2) Kisi bhi ladki ko paraai nahi manungaaa! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -------- zara sambhal k zyada bhaari chiz mat utana waqt pe khana waqt pe sona apna khayal rakhna Q k Teesra mahina chal raha hai na 2008 ka! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- ------Shaadi K Baad Larke k Dosto'n Ne Larke Se Poocha "Kaisi Rahi Suhaag Raat?" Larka Bola : Aray Yaar Kabhi Khaandan Main Shaadi Nahi Kerna Dosto'n Ne Poocha K: Kyun Larka Bola : Jab Main Zor Zor Se Kerne Laga Tou Wo Boli "KAMRAN BHAI" Zara Aaram Se . . . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- A Guy Wanted To Lose Weight He Went To A Diet Centre It Offered Plan A or B He Took Plan A He Was Than Taken To A Room Wherein A Good Looking Naked Girl Wid A "If U Catch Me, U Can FUCK Me" Sign Was W8ing For Him He Never Caught Her But Lost 50 Lbs After 3 Days He Decided To Try Plan B Thinkin Tht Shud B Better Excited, he Quickly Enteed The Room A Horse Was W8ing Wid A Sign That Says "I'll Fuck U If I Catch U" ;-> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- -----Shazada Saleem:- Anarkali ham tumhari Phudi Lena chahtae hae Anar Kali:- Shahzada Hazur itni Bari cheez maang li aap nae Shahzada Saleem:- ohhhhh ager itni bari hae to rehnae he do.......... ...
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