Introduction Thank you for purchasing the “Get Her Back” report. This short manual will show you exactly how to get your ex-girlfriend back. The theory behind getting your ex back is simple: 1) Determine what went wrong. 2) Fix whatever went wrong and make sure your ex notices. Whether you want to believe it or not, your girlfriend wants you back. You’ve “attracted” her before and can do it again – in fact, it’s often easier the second time round. The only reason you’re apart is that you’ve let some things slip. This manual will focus on giving you actionable steps – things you can start doing right now to get your ex back. I’ll show you how to get your “mojo” back. Before we get going, make sure you aren’t doing any of the following… • • • • • • • Trying to persuade her with logic to take you back Telling her "I'll always be there for you" Begging and pleading with her to take you back Constantly texting and phoning her Trying to get her back with flowers and gifts Waiting by the phone for her to call you back Promising her that "things will be different" … and if you are, stop right now and read this report! The above wont work. Important: Throughout this entire book, remember that women are emotional creatures. They react to emotions rather than logic. Trying to logically convince your ex to get back with you won’t work. You need to create the emotions you used to make her feel. More on this later. Everything happens for a reason. We need to determine why she decided to date you in the first place and then why she decided to break up with you. There are some universal truths that apply to almost everyone. Once we’ve identified these reasons, we can then create a blueprint to allow you to get your ex back in the shortest amount of time possible. Your ex wants to get back with you. Our aim is to remove all the barriers stopping her – we need to clear the path. *** This book is structured in a unique way. I have fused the theory and implementation parts together. Most books begin with theory and move on to application – actually, most books probably never get to the application part. I know you don’t really care about the theory. You just want to get your ex back as quickly as possible. The problem is, the theory is pretty important. You need to change your mindset. Every time I put forth some theory, I will provide you with actionable steps to go with the theory and some concrete examples. Performing the steps and reading the examples will strongly consolidate the theory. I know you are probably very emotional right now. I’ve been there – I’ve felt the pain and the sadness. You’re on an emotional rollercoaster. You need to put the brakes on though. Put your feelings on hold. We’ll be looking at your situation objectively and we need to keep emotions out of it. You need to see things from her perspective. Quick tip: Find a hobby that can help take your mind of the breakup. I’ve found that for a lot of people, going to the gym really helps takes your mind of things. Plus, in the long run, it makes you more attractive! Although I provide you with actions, tricks, tactics and systems, these CANNOT be faked. You need to truly understand why these work, trust in them and use them honestly. Your ex will see right through you if you try and “trick” her into coming back. That’s why we include the theory. A good way of thinking about the whole thing; you have to be that genuine guy she loved in the first place. In fact, let’s aim a bit higher – you have to be better than you were. There will be some things in this book that will seem counterproductive. But trust me, I have been in your situation and I have tried and tested everything I outline. This manual is the result of many years of work. The book is broken up into three parts. The first part will allow us to determined what went wrong whilst the second will enable us to fix the issues we identified. The third part will outline a blueprint we can use to then get you back with your ex as quickly as possible. Thanks again & good luck! - Bruce Burn (Any questions? Contact me here) !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 3$ Part 1: What Went Wrong The Relationship Timeline We need to determine what went wrong during your relationship. Your relationship started off well but at some point something went wrong. We need to objectively analyze your relationship to determined what that “something” was. The following “relationship timeline” will enable you to determined at what point your relationship went wrong. We can then analyze that part to identify exactly why it went wrong. All relationships go through these six stages. Even the relationships that are shorter than 3 months; the only differences is that the length of the stages vary considerably. The average relationship follows a simple path: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. The Perfect Stage The Realisation Stage The Drained Stage The Plummet Stage The Break Up The Brawling Stage Note: Some stages are skipped in the event of a partner cheating. You can jump straight from the perfect stage to the break-up stage if you are cheated on. If this is the case, skip this section and move on to the next – “What Women Hate”. Stage 1: The Perfect Stage The Perfect Stage is just that… Perfect. It’s full of love, passion and affection which is out of this world. You live in ‘Heaven’ for the first 2 to 10 months and life is great. The Perfect Stage allows you and her to ignore the (perhaps obvious) faults one another has. You are both “in love”.$ In this stage, you’re emotions are so high that you hope you never come down. The problem with this is that men tend to get swept away by the emotions when the !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 4$ women realise they can’t live in this fairytale forever. This is why men tend to fall harder then women do when a relationship ends unexpectedly. Not much to learn from this stage – just be aware of it and try to determine how long it lasted. Stage 2: The Realisation Stage You have both come down from the clouds and you have just realised you are in a serious relationship. Everything is still the same; you still love her as she does you. But everything is a little calmer. You become more aware of your surroundings and you are more conscious about how you are acting with your girl in public. Your eyes are now open to the world and to her. You begin to realise things about her that you didn’t notice before. You, being the man, tend to push it aside and not worry about it. Unfortunately, women like to find reasons as to why you are not the perfect man. And they begin to make a collection of faults to use against you as ammunition if a fight breaks out. This issue with this attention to detail is that, it tends to be a curse for men because they are oblivious to this scheme, they continue acting the way they were in the Perfect Stage and this is where the start of the break up begins. Ammunition begins to gather as time goes past. Anything that is usable even if it trivial. If you leave the toilet seat up, it’s recorded. If you leave dirty socks on the ground it’s recorded. I understand what you are thinking, “Why is it my fault?” Well, it isn’t necessarily your fault but everything she has recorded in her little book of faults is a direct result of one of two things that you do: • • TOO much attention Not ENOUGH attention Do you want to know the good thing? One of the above two things are the sole reason for the breakup. Regardless of what she says. Your job is to find out where the threshold point is for both factors and not cross them. Which path do you feel you most likely followed? Path 1: After the Perfect stage, you took a little longer to come out of it than she did. You gave her everything she wanted and spent A LOT of time with her. If you followed path 1, than she lost her attraction towards you because you started becoming a needy, over attentive weak man. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 5$ Path 2: You moved passed the Reality stage very quickly and began taking her for granted. You thought she would be by your side regardless of what happens and you didn’t pay attention to her needs, whether they were physical or emotional. If you followed path 2, then she had had enough of the little attention she was receiving and began to reassess whether you would keep your “promise” to her. Think back to this part of your relationship – you chose one of these paths. Stage 3: The Drained Stage This stage is a simple case of one of you losing interest in the other. The graphs below will help explain the situation. They show the alternate cases - you losing interest in her or her losing interest in you. !"#$%$&#'($)$(' !"#$%$&#'($)$(')&'#!*$' 7/&"8/19:$;1<=#$ %"&$ %<>$ #!*$' !"#$%$&#'($)$(' !"#$%$&#'($)$(')&'#!*$' 7/&"8/19:$;1<=#$ %<>$ %"&$ 6$ #!*$' !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ When you began going out, you were head over heels for each other. But as you can see by the illustrations, one of you has begun to lose interest, patience and pondered the idea of moving on. This is the stage where fights really become apparent. Generally, what happens is the one who has the most interest become paranoid that the other was cheating which causes the other to pull away even further. The alert signal that a relationship is in trouble begins to start flashing. This stage transitions into the next stage as soon as one of you reaches your “Threshold Point” (see the graphs above). The Threshold Point is where the real deviation of interest begins to happen. The significance of this stage is that it is the real cause of the breakup. In order to recover your relationship, you need to identify the issues that took place at this exact phase of the relationship. And you need to do fix these with actions, not just words. I’ll talk about this in more detail later on but for example, if you were needy, you need to become more independent. If you were overattentive you need to become more selfish (to an extent). If you were not attentive enough, you need to be more attentive. You need to be the man she wants you to be and you need to live up to the promise of being a man. This may all be a little confusing but don’t worry - it will all make sense soon. Stages 4 & 5: The Plummet & Breakup Stages These two phases are combined because one quickly follows the other. A woman usually enters this stage because she is tried of the drained stage or someone new has entered her life. The breakup stage is where the heart gets hit with a direct blow from rejection. To begin with, you may feel relief that the fights are over, but don’t get excited yet because rejection releases a slow poison which usually affects your entire being. This poison is so strong that even the strongest of men can’t stop it from its full effects. You can’t concentrate, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat and you can’t work. It is almost like complete paralysis. Women will usually feel very guilty about putting you through this pain, but the last thing you want to do here is to disrespect her. This will only re-enforce her reasoning for leaving you. The best thing that you can do when this happens is take it like a man. Say, “I understand, I want you to be happy”. By doing this, you haven’t given her a reason to back up her decision. So, later on when you go back to her she’ll still be in the gray zone as to whether she made the right decision. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ ?$ If you did unleash hell upon her when you took the direct blow, then you have given her the re-enforcement she needed to feel good about her decision. It will be a bit harder to get her back – but still possible. Stage 6: The Brawling Stage The Brawling stage is just like the Perfect stage, all the passion is there; except the passion is all negative and hatred towards one another. This is by far the worst stage to be in and you are probably in this stage right now. This is where the work begins, as the way you act determines wherether you’ll get her back or not. I won’t spend a lot of time describing the Brawling stage because you are experiencing it first hand, but basically the ‘poison’ has unleashed its full effects and your mind is experiencing the brunt of the attack. You are feeling happy and sad, hot and cold, tense and relaxed; painful and painless and more, all at the same time. Your body is a fountain of emotions right now and you need to empty your fountain in order to allow logic to take its place. It’s now time to start taking some action – time to get your ex back. Follow along exactly as I say and you’ll get your ex back. If you don’t do everything I explain to its fullest extent, then you will have wasted your time. If you only do half of the strategy or only give 50% of the effort, then deep down inside you do not want to get back with your girl. If you do want to get back with her, you’d be willing to do anything and everything to get her back. RIGHT? @$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Things Women Hate There are some things ALL women hate. Chances are you were doing some of these things during the Draining stage of the relationship. Never listen to what a woman says they want in a relationship. Pay more attention to what she DOES. Why? Because often, women DON’T know themselves; they pretend they do, but if you actually see the guys that they go out with, they can be nothing like the sensitive, caring and attentive man that she says she wants. She DOESN’T want a man who: • • • • Pays TOO much attention to her Shares his feelings to her all the time Allows her to ‘wear the pants’ in the relationship Lets her walk all over him and demands that her needs are attended to before his. Have you heard the expression “Jerk gets the hot girls”? Well, it’s true. Do you think a jerk is likely to have the above traits… NO. Don’t attend to her every beck and call. Don’t be the waiter of her life. Instead, when in a relationship: • • • • Be the leader – ‘Wear the pants’ and call the shots in the relationship. Don’t attend to her every need. If you’re busy tell her you’re busy and she’ll have to wait. Provide her with the security she requires. Be faithful, provide her with companionship and keep the relationship exciting by taking her on dates and days out. Be respectful and affectionate. If you do the above things, then you will have a happy a strong relationship. But ensure that the relationship doesn’t become a boring routine. Keep the partnership exciting and fun. And this isn’t necessarily expensive. You can do this by taking her on dates where you don’t spend anything more than 20 pounds. For example, fly a kite, make ice cream/cookies, make a picnic and go to a park. These ideas are cheap and easy but most importantly, EXCITING or at least DIFFERENT from the normal relationship of the routine. Doing things like this also shows that you are a fun and adventurous guy. Exercise: !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ A$ This week I want you to want you to try and identify between the ‘provider guys’ (nice guy, submissive, stable job etc) and ‘good gene guys’ (dominant, high social status, funny etc) when you are interacting or see men. Keep in mind that they may have characteristics of both – they are not mutually exclusive, just assess which bracket they would fit into and then think about why? The KEY for ULTIMATE ATTRACTION is to have a combination of both. When you have done this exercise at least 10 times, write down a list of characteristics that you think that the different types of guys have. And now you have this written down, you can study and incorporate them as your own. B$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Things Women Love Your ex girlfriend was once very strongly attracted to you. You must understand why and make sure you still demonstrate all the characteristics you once did. Fortunately, there are some universal truths here – personality traits that almost all women are attracted to. Every man can cultivate these traits and internalize them. You once had them but they are most likely dormant within you. This section will most likely kill two birds with one stone. You will soon realize that your ex girlfriend broke up with you because you started to lose these traits. We will emphasize this in the next section. *** When you ask a woman the cliché question of what do you look for in a man? They don’t know, so they give a cliché answer: • "I want a man that's sensitive" • "I want a man that's not afraid to share his feelings" • "I want a man that's understanding" • "I want a man that treats me with respect" Have you heard these before? Of course you have. Have you tried being these things when you first meet a woman? If so, you will have experienced first hand how quickly you become a new member of the dreaded “Friend Zone”. There are in fact eight characteristics that a woman looks for in a man, whether they are consciously aware of it or not. The urge to find these traits in a man are based on evolutionary advancements that we as men have no control over. This basic criterion is based on a woman’s “Survival” and “Replication” chances. Women know that if a man has the majority of the traits that I am about to outline, they’re likely to breed, have healthy children, feel safe, protected and carry on their genes. There are three types of characteristics: 1) Foundational characteristics. a. Health – A woman can see that you are fit and healthy b. Social Skills– You have friends and can talk to people. Basically, you’re not the weird creepy dude that no one likes c. Personality and Humour – You can make her laugh or she loves being around you and talking to you !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ CD$ 2) Attribute characteristics – Can be observed but often learned a. Power and Status – People respect you and you are successful or high status in the circles that you are involved in b. Being rich or financially stable – You are financially stable which means that you can look after a woman and her children c. Kindness and warmth – You are a good guy and, combined with being well liked (“Social Skills”), also show that you are a good person while not being a “wuss” 3) Outcome characteristics – All observed expect pre-selection which is told or learned. a. Confidence – Shows that you are willing to go after want you want regardless of what others think about you b. Not a rollover – Play hard to get – the harder a woman tries to get a man, the more she appreciates him c. Pre-selected – Shows other woman find you desirable and are willing to go out with you Your goal is to make sure you demonstrate ALL of the above traits but there was definitely at least ONE of the above that made her attracted to you in the first place. In the next section, I will show you exactly HOW to start hitting these characteristics so that you can regain the lost attraction. CC$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Part 2: Fixing What Went Wrong Becoming The Alpha Male In the previous section, we talked about the personality traits women hate and love. You need to get rid of all the bad characteristics women hate and start internalising the ones they love. You want to become the “alpha male” – the guy who has all the traits women LOVE. Below, I’ve explained each characteristic and some tips and methods you can use to start becoming the alpha make. Health – You must appear healthy to a woman, take pride in your image and have a strong immune system. • • • If you can, workout. Go to the gym. It will help take your mind of things and make you look better. Never tell a woman you are sick or were recently sick (same with any injuries). Tell women about the sports you do – Mountain climbing, hiking and extreme sports are the most attractive for women. But don’t say you do these if you don’t. To show that you’re healthy, find clothes that contour to your body to show your build. Don’t wear clothes that are too tight because that doesn’t impress anybody but find ones that are comfortable and look good. Other things to look after are: 1. Facial blemishes a. If you have pimples, get a pimple cream or if they are bad visit a dermatologist. I know it’s expensive but what is the cost of healthy looking skin. 2. Nails a. Have clean and dry nails. Cutting wet nails can make them jagged. b. Don’t cut nails straight across until they no longer extend over your finger or toe, so that they don’t show any white. It will grow back much stronger than before. c. Use a nail file to make sure the edges of the nail are smooth. Jagged nails can catch on clothes, socks, and pantyhose and potentially cause nails to tear or break d. Nails should be slightly square or oval and not pointed. This will prevent them from breaking. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ C3$ e. Nails can weaken if you file too low into the corners and sides. f. File gently in one long stroke, from the side to the center of the nail. g. The ideal length that suits most hands is just over the fingertip. DO NOT CUT INTO THE QUICK. h. Don't bite your nails, it looks bad and implies a nervous personality. 3. Hair – don’t leave your house without any product. Find a hairstyle you like and then imitate it. The best advice i can give, is to Google hairstyles and find one you like. Go to the hairdressers and show them a photo and get them to cut your hair accordingly. While you are at the hairdressers ask them which type of hair product is best for your hair. 1. Fudge and Matt allows you to style your hair without looking like you have any product in your hair. 2. Wax is a very strong product and generally stays in your hair for days. However, it does allow you to alter your hair during the day. 3. Gel gives your hair a wet look but generally doesn’t last that long. 4. Body odour – if you smell, you can forget trying to attract any women. Nothing is more of a turn off than BO. ALWAYS wear some sort of deodorant or fragrances when you go out. These may not seem very important but a woman will pick up on this and they know healthy men won’t forget to look after these areas. Social intuition – Are your social skills. If you walk into a club and you begin talking to complete strangers it is clear you are a social and popular guy and that is attractive to women. • • • Next time you go to a party where your ex is, become the social bunny that everyone likes. By having cool (or high status) friends (Male and Female) and simply letting women see you communicate with them, this shows that you are also a cool or high status person and will create attraction. Also by talking to her about your friends and the great things that they are doing. Remember – if you are perceived as having a bunch of cool friends who are high status themselves, it will seem like you are high status and well connected, which will help to create attraction. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ C4$ Humour – You should make women laugh and feel happy. No one wants to be upset and depressed all the time and it’s your job to ensure she isn’t. A woman will take fun over boring. • • Be the overconfident guy who is ‘cocky funny’ (talked about later on). o I.E. If you are talking to a girl you might say “You’re a player aren’t you?” Or “Stop trying to pick me up I’m here to have fun gees”. Tease women all the time – they love it! Games you can play in to create humour are: Would you rather? The idea of this game is to give two options and ask which the women would rather do, and then she gets to choose two things. This game can literally go on for hours and you end up with some pretty wacky stuff. • • • • • Would you rather, lose one breast or not have sex for 10 years? Would you rather, not be able to speak or not ever have sex again? Would you rather, lose an arm of a leg? Would you rather, live forever or die tomorrow? Would you rather, have one arm twice as long as the other or one leg twice as long as the other? Another game is Fuck/Marry/Kill. This is where you and your girl walk around a club and you pick three people and you say would you rather fuck/marry or kill those three people there. Status – High status generates attraction. In fact, it is one of the most important factors in generating attraction. Ways of showing high status is by having other friends of high status i.e. you know the doorman at a high end club so you can skip the queue, the manager of a bar shakes your hand when you arrive. • If you have a favourite club from now on shake the hand of every doorman that works there on that night – this will help them remember you and will help you skip the queue in the future. Other ways to create attraction with women is to: • Let her see you in places where you know the people around you and where they will validate you. So, for example, this may be at your work place, for example a work party, where you have your friends around etc. • Go to the same restaurants over and over and get to know the waiters/waitresses, having them talk to you in a friendly manner will show her that you are good with people and more importantly people know and like you. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ C5$ • Fix your body language into high status body language. Once you have high status in certain places, if you (a) meet or (b) bring girls there, attraction will be much easier to generate. Wealth – There was a study conducted where ten random men were rated by women based on their appearances out of ten. The ones that got eight or above were asked to be rated by another set of random women. This time the participant had a made up job and an annual salary which was very low; the women rated him as half of their original score. However, the complete opposite happened when they showed a ‘3’ with an annual salary of $500,000+. Women began to rate him as an eight or nine and one even said ten. This doesn’t mean women are shallow, it just means that women know life will be easier and the chances of survival will be greater with someone who is financially comfortable. There are easier things to show your wealth: • • • Go to nice clubs When you pay for something have a bundle of notes with the largest on the outside Dress nicely Confidence – Shows you are willing to go after want you want regardless of what others think about you. Be the overconfident guy who acts like he doesn’t need anybody. • • When you walk into a club/bar walk around and act like you own the place. Women will notice this and if your girlfriend is there she will too. A funny way of looking at it; behave like it’s your birthday all the time. When you’re in a club behave like it’s your party. Confident men aren’t afraid of being sexual beings. They project the raw sexual animal inside. The best way to describe a sexual man is like a lion behind caged doors. If the cage wasn’t there, the lion would destroy you. You can portray yourself as a sexual beast by: 1. 2. Thinking sexual, think of the woman sexually as if you have already been with her in a sexual manner, you yourself will then start to feel like a sexual being and will begin to emanate this. Know and feel that you are a sexual human being and that you like sex and enjoy it, there is nothing wrong with it and you feel comfortable sexually. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ C6$ 3. Radiate this in you body language, stand tall and don’t be afraid to take up space. 4. If you catch the eye of an attractive woman, make up your mind there and then if you would want to be sexual with her, make your way over to her with this intent and know that she like you enjoys the act of sex, leave all your coyness behind and talk without hesitation. 5. Use your eyes and your body to capture her attention, by this you need to look at her suggestively, let her fall into a void of just you and her, study her touch her and let her know that you are a sexual being. (Talk to her, use the techniques you have learnt but make sure she feels your masculine presence.) 6. Kiss her, make her feel wanted, hold her and touch her, pull her in close and let her know exactly what is going on in your mind, by doing this you are escalating in a sexual manner. 7. Then cool down, become tender, let her know that you are endeared by her, smile and laugh about the situation with her, let her know that you are affectionate. 8. Let her know what it is you want and tell her how you feel, let her know you are sexual. 9. Be dominant, let her know you are in charge by taking control of the situation, lead her to seats, corners etc. Challenging – Play hard to get – the harder a woman tries to get a man the more she appreciates him. Below are two scenarios – I want you to decide which job you would appreciate more. Scenario 1 - You to go for an interview and sit down for five minutes before being offered the job. Scenario 2 – You go through five interviews, you compete against 20 people for one position, you undergo several theoretical and practical exams and then you are offered the job. If you said scenario one then you are the typical needy guy that women hate. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ C?$ If you just met a woman and she said, “Can I kiss you?” Or, “Should we get out of here?” If you say ‘Yes’ she then classes you as another easy guy. But if you said, “Maybe, but not right now” She will be shocked because this never happens to her and she will try harder to get you. • If your girlfriend says you should get back together after 1 week and you’re still implementing one of your strategies, you have to make the executive decision as to whether you want her to work for you. After all she did put you through Hell. Pre-selected – Shows other woman are willing to go out with you. One way to spark a few attraction switches is to start hanging out with other women. If you and your girlfriend are officially broken up, there is NO point putting your life on hold for her – she hasn’t done it for you. • So go to town with women – this doesn’t mean you have to do anything with them you are simply hanging out with girls. Others ways to portray pre-selection to women is by subtlety including it in your sentences. The idea is to tell women you have dated beautiful women and beautiful have been attracted to you. By letting her and wanting her to know that your last girlfriend was an exotic dancer (clearly you haven’t dated an exotic dancer, most people haven’t but she doesn’t know that). This works because it shows that you have been with beautiful girls before. You can drop this into a conversation by putting it into stories or mentioning it furtively in a conversation, like this: • “You know, that’s interesting, because, my ex-girlfriend always used to say (Reacting to the comment just made by the woman). Not that she was a professional at it or anything, she was actually an exotic dancer, but that was her opinion / I think she had a good feel for that sort of thing” OR • YOU: “You look like you like dancing” HER: “Yes / No / Maybe” YOU: “My ex girlfriend was an exotic dancer and she was kind of your build and height” Witnessed pre-selection is the strongest but verbal is the next best option. The weird thing about pre-selection is that you don’t have to be seen with models in order for women to be attracted to you and jealous of the girls with you. If you’re in town with other girls, and your girlfriend is there, she will become jealous and this is one of the strongest emotions a person can feel in a relationship (I’m sure you know). !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ C@$ She may begin to go out with guys, if she does, don’t be affected by this, be the natural overconfident and genuine guy she wants and she will drop the act and head back to you. CA$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Getting Your Girlfriend Back The fundamentals have now been covered. We’ve talked about the relationship timeline, identified the point at which your relationship started failing and looked at why it failed. We then talked about how we can change ourselves and become the “alpha male”. Now it’s time to develop a blueprint to ensure you get your girlfriend back as quickly as possible. We need to show her we’re the “alpha male”. Quick re-cap/summary: 1. 2. 3. Women want a confident man Women NEED security. And it’s your job to provide it. The power in a relationship lies with the one who needs it the least. Number three is a very powerful statement. If you maintain that mind frame throughout the next section, it will make the whole process easier and will naturally lead to you becoming a confident man. Quick bit on confidence: Along with the section on ‘Becoming The Alpha male’ the being ‘Cocky-funny’ will give you a heads up on how to act confident. Cocky-funny You need to be overconfident. Cocky-funny, as David DeAngelo describes it. Cockyfunny is where you act way too confident but in a fun way. You need to tease her like you’re little sister, don’t flower her with compliments – tease her. YOU: Are those nails real? HER: NO YOU: OH, there nice anyway. YOU: OMG, I love your skirt. I have seen like ten of them today. YOU: Your make-up has smudged (she’ll feel embarrassed by this. I know it’s trivial but trust me girls are extremely concerned with their appearance) YOU: ‘Hi 5’ her, but purposefully miss her hand then snicker at her with a cheeky grin. CB$ Other examples: 1. Having a small pillow fight with her if you are on the couch. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 2. Trick her and tease her. For example, you can say things like, ‘Did you know that while you sleep, your heart actually stops for 30 minutes in the middle of the night?’ Then when she says, ‘Really? Wow, I didn’t know that’, you say, ‘OMG I can’t believe how gullible you are!’ (Obviously this needs to be done in a playful manner, otherwise you could just come across as insulting, and you can do this by letting her know how cute her reaction was.) 3. If you are on a date and walking on the street, as you are both walking side by side, just position yourself so that she walks towards and into a pole. She will stop herself, laugh and likely hit you on the shoulder for being playful. 4. Play games like thumb wrestling that get you touching each other in a playful way, equally as effective is deciding on something using Rock – Paper- Scissors or doing a best out of three with a coin toss. (It creates a fun and playful vibe which she doesn’t likely get with other men.) The idea to cocky-funny is to tease her like you would a little sister or cousin. But the catch is if you were crying to her a week ago then you become this overconfident guy, she’ll see right through it. Gradually become overconfident by throwing in one tease a meeting, then two then more and more until you are bombarded her with them. If she isn’t laughing with you when you tease her, don’t apologise, just back off a little. I’ll now outline five strategies. No matter how complex your relationship is, no mater what type of person your girlfriend is, your case WILL fit into one of the five categories below – period and they will help to get your ex back. What are my chances of getting my girlfriend back? This is an unanswerable question. There are only two people in the world that can answer this question, do you know who they are? You and your girlfriend; however, if you follow what you learn in this book it will seriously increase your chances. $ 3D$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Strategy 1: The Silent Treatment (ST) The power of this approach never ceases to amaze me. The idea of this is to simply cease all contact via every medium with your girl, wait a while and then meet again as your new self. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. NO text messaging No emails No phone calls No talking to her No seeing her No letters No songs The reason this approach is so strong is that during a breakup, women need space to heal. So, you are going to give it to her, all of it and more. We are not giving her space for her to heal; you are giving yourself space from her to heal. Most guys get emotional and needy and beg for her to come back. But you’re not most guys; you’re a strong alpha male. ST is NOT suitable for every situation. There are five strategies and I want you to read them all very carefully before you decide which one is right for you. If you pick the wrong approach it will backfire on you. When should you use ST? 1. 2. 3. If your situation doesn’t correctly warrant any of the other approaches. If you don’t live in the same house, have children or any other obligations that requires contact. If it’s possible to physically not see her then DON’T! If she is involved with someone else When should you not use ST? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If you have been separated for 3 months or more with no contact. If you are in an Ultra Short Term Relationship (less than 2 months) If you took too long to take things to the next level and set a wedding date or propose If you broke up with her and you want her back If you are still together (i.e. nothing official has happened yet – “breaks” included) !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 3C$ The reason this works so well is because she wants her personal space. Most men don’t want to give her that space. You do! And this will ultimately bring you closer together. You need to realise in this situation, she is feeling the same pain as you. She doesn’t know how to deal with it any better than you do. But the sneaky thing that women tend to do, is when they breakup, they ask you to remain friends. You DON’T want that. Do you know why women ask you to remain friends throughout the breakup stage? Because they want you to be there to support and cushion their fall; they want you to be a shoulder to cry on. WOW, that’s funny. Correct me if I’m wrong, but she decided you weren’t GOOD enough for her; according to her, it was your fault the relationship ended and now she wants YOU to help her (the woman who rejected you because you weren’t good enough) get through the pain. Hmm… that’s weird, is she there to cushion your fall? Is she there to be a shoulder to cry on? Is she there to listen to your problems? NO. Oh, THEN WHY SHOULD YOU BE THERE FOR HER? This is the point where you need: 1. 2. To STOP worrying about her Start being selfish and look after yourself for a change If she asks or has asked to be friends, what are you going to say? I hope you said NO. If not go back to the top of ST and start again until you understand that you will not be used and you will not be there to support her through this time. THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP LIES IN THE ONE WHO NEEDS IT THE LEAST. Throughout this approach you need to adopt this mindset. And this mindset turns into the strategy. I know it’s confusing but the mindset won’t work without the practical application and visa versa. 33$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ ST Step by Step Plan Implementing the steps of this strategy is easy; however, it takes a man to stick to it. It will be hard; I’m not going to lie. But if you want your girlfriend bad enough, you’ll do what I say and not give in. Step 1: Decide how you are going to begin this journey 1. 2. Gentleman Option: Tell your girlfriend you need space to clear your head. Also if you said anything during the breakup which you regret, now is the time to apologise for it. Easy Option: Drop of the face of the planet without telling her. Gentleman Option Only choose option one if you lied or called her names or something of that nature during the breakup. You need to enter the break on GOOD terms; you can’t leave her last thoughts about you being negative. NOTE: When you call her, DO NOT by any means, tell her that you are there for her and you love her!!! Saying this will drastically affect the chances of your reuniting as it sends her mixed messages and shows you are just playing a game. Easy Option If you have nothing to apologise for because you took it like a gentleman, than you can begin the NC approach when you have finished reading this book. If you want to say sorry over something you have no control over now… don’t. The past is the past and no matter how hard you try the only thing you can change is the future. – Simon McEwen You need to understand, you’re in an All or Nothing situation. You can either have her 100% or not at all, there’s no in-between. You need to ensure you to this properly rather than focusing on her. The other thing about this strategy which is good, is if you have been in contact with her after the breakup, then drop of the planet, it ADDS to the shock which is very powerful. Step 2: Find an outlet to keep your mind busy and release the negative energy and emotions you have stored. It’s important you do this because it helps with two things. 1. 2. It keeps you mind busy so your not thinking about your girl all of the time It shows her that you are getting on with your life !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 34$ Exercise is the best activity to do because exercise releases endorphins which is an amazing mood enhancer. Also you will look good and feel better. Some ideas of activities: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Squash Running Soccer Rugby Workout at the gym Walking (as last resort) Virtually any sport that involves moving, sweating and/or playing with other people Studies show that listening to your favourite music also increases endorphins just like exercise. However, listening to music is not a substitute for exercise it is simply an addition. Step 3: This is where this approach gets real. Get a piece of paper and write down her number, email address and any other form of communication you have with her. Then erase all of her details from EVERYWHERE. 1. 2. 3. 4. Cell phone Address book Email list Pager (if you have one) Finally, delete ALL of her emails and text messages to you. DON’T read them one last time because you’ll over analyse the email and it will just distort you from achieving your goal. Step 4: It’s a ‘Closing Down Sale’ and “Everything Must Go”. Find anything that has any connection to your girl: pictures, clothes and soft toys. If she gave you some jewellery, it’s gone. I don’t care how much you like it or whether you only have one of it – put it in a box right now! Step 5: Put the box in a suitcase or chest with a lock and send it to a family member or friend who lives the furthest away from you (within the same country preferably). The further the better because you won’t be able to give in to your temptations and look at the memories. If you have to give it to an extremely loyal friend and tell them to hide it from you; preferably outside of the house, otherwise you’ll find it and open it. Step 6: Plan an adventure. Plan something for the immediate or near future which you will have a blast doing. Choose something different, something fun. Is there something you have always wanted to do but never had the time? Well do that. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 35$ You need something to take you out of your day to day norm and to help you obtain a new look on life. For example: 1. 2. 3. 4. Join a club i.e. Toastmasters, squash (any sport), improvisational club, drama club. Join a sports team. Get the boys together and go on a road trip. Sort out a van, don’t plan a destination and just drive for two weeks. The adventures you will have will be amazing and will make an amazing story. Go and see a friend overseas. Only do these things if they will logistically work. If you are at university or you work, plan to get time off don’t just get up and leave. Now you know the 6 steps to getting your girlfriend back. They go against everything you know and what your gut is telling you. But by pushing her away you’ll begin to heal and she’ll still be in pain. By supporting her, she’ll heal and you’ll be in pain. THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP LIES IN THE ONE WHO NEEDS IT THE LEAST. Read the above sentence over and over again until it sinks in. But DO IT, don't just nod along in agreement. Write it down ten times or until you know it off my heart. Then start shouting it out as loud as you can. Get pumped and energised because you are a new man now. Next I’m going to explain what will happen from here on out. And if something unexpected happens how you will deal with it. Ready? I hope so! 36$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ No Pain No Gain WeECome to “hell” this is where things get tough and only the strong survive. The best way to deal with the pain is to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE until she comes back. She has got on with her life so you need to as well. It’s not good for you to be in this situation with this much pain; you are going to have to get on with life sooner or later. Why not make it sooner? How long will it take? Who knows? Every woman is to their own and some may take a day, week or month. But the fundamental principle is that SHE rings you, you DON’T ring her. How to act in any interaction with your girlfriend If she calls pick up the phone and talk to her casually. Be in a cheerful but not childish. Be calm not depressed. If you act like you haven’t moved on, she will think you are still hung up over her and she still controls your life even though she isn’t in it. The idea is to give of this aura that you have moved on and you don’t need her in your life. The best way to describe how to act is by acting like a businessman. Act like a businessman meeting someone new. You’re not: 1. 2. 3. 4. Happy Surprised Cold Depressed You are: 1. 2. 3. 4. Casual Calm Light hearted Neutral THE NUMBER ONE RULE DURING THE ENTIRE PROCESS IN ANY AND EVERY SITUATION: You are NOT to bring up the relationship in any way, shape or form. That’s her job. Have you ever been called by a telemarketer trying to sell you something? When you are on the phone to them whose job is it to keep the conversation going? It’s there job because they are calling you and making you an offer, so it’s up to them to do the talking. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 3?$ The same applies if your girl rings you. You don’t know what she wants but it’s not your job to find out. It’s her job to tell you. If she doesn’t, who cares? If a telemarketer rung you up and asked you to guess what they were selling what would you do? Most likely hang up the phone. But if your girl is beating around the bush, tell her you’re busy and you have to go. It’s her job to do the asking, it’s your job to do the answering. Don’t give away too much information but enough for her to think, “Wow, he’s already got on with life”. How to deal with the following scenarios… 1. She rings you up and begins questioning you as to why you haven’t called (assuming you ‘dropped off the face of the planet’) Do you know why she asked this question? She was waiting next to the phone! She was waiting for you to give in and ring, HA! Well if she asks then tell her you needed your space. Don’t tell her you love her, need her or will be there for her. At this point she might break down in tears and ask for you back. If so, you’ve made it. All you have to do now is keep her. 2. If she gets angry at you for not staying in touch (you can laugh inside because it’s working) she is reacting to you and you want this. If she swears or yells at you, just say ‘Yes’ nothing more than ‘Yes’. Then say you need to go. Do not get involved and start retaliating not matter WHAT she says. She’s after a reaction from you and if you give it to her she will feel superior again. Be cool and calm during the conversation. 3. If she tells you that she respects your decision and she’ll wait for you to call her back when you’re ready. This is a test. She wants to she if you’re are a man or a mouse. Stay strong, regardless of how stubborn you think she is she’ll call back. 4. If she says she wants to meet you that is perfect (discussed below). How to accept an invitation? Be cool and casual. Say “That’s sounds fine, when were you thinking?” When she says Wednesday say you’re busy. Say I can do Friday afternoon or Saturday morning (change days accordingly). Remember you have a life other than her, if she wants to meet you she’ll have to wait. If she turns around and says she can’t meet you on those days by all means to don’t say you can meet her today! Say, “Oh, ok well what’s your week like next week?” Remember you are a businessman. Would Donald Trump drop everything in his day to meet someone? NO. The only time the above rule does not apply, is if the relationship is long distance and I don’t mean 30 minutes away. I meant another city, state or country. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 3@$ During the meeting act the same as on the phone. Calm, casual and let her lead the conversation. Remember she’s the saleswoman trying to sell you, the director of the world’s largest business, something. It’s not your job to find out what she wants, it’s her job to make the most of the limited time she has with you. If she: 1. Brings up the relationship go with but don’t ask for a second chance. See what she has to offer. 2. Wants to meet or talk on the phone for nonsense chat. You’re a busy man, you can’t be wasting time talking about rubbish, you have a life to get on with; so, say something has come up and you have to go, but leave politely. a. If she continues to call and be annoying then tell her you need your space and she needs to respect that. 3. Wants you to be a ‘shoulder to cry on’. You have a multi billion dollar business to run, you don’t have time for that. 4. Writes/emails/texts don’t reply right away take a couple of days to reply. a. Rings and doesn’t leave a message, don’t call her and ask what’s wrong. If it’s not important enough to leave a message then it’s not important enough for you to waste your time. 5. Asks you to be her friend but is going out with someone else. You need to point out that she broke up with you, she is seeing someone else and now she wants you to be her friend – that’s BS and you’re not going to stand for that. You need to tell her this but in a calm way that doesn’t portray you as a victim because she won’t feel sorry for you. 1. QUESTION: Is there still a chance if she's talking about or seeing someone else? Yes, without a doubt there is a chance but there are two things to consider. 1. 2. Is she doing this to wind you up? If the answer isn’t yes to the above question, know even if she does date someone else. This doesn’t mean you have no chance, it only means the process will take longer than usual. 6. Starts talking about your dating situation to mutual friends (relatives and family) do not become involved and start doing the same. Information will always become skewed and it will always get back to her. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 3A$ IMPORANT: Never ask any mutual friends about inside information about the relationship. It shows you’re weak and your girl will find out. QUESTION: Does she miss me? One word… YES. It is very difficult to forget the emotions you two shared over the time you were together. It can take months and even years to lose the emotions for somebody. No matter what happens, now you have been apart of her life she will never forget you. 3B$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Meeting Your Girlfriend… Again Congratulations on getting this far you have done well. You have stopped being a weak, needy man who’s begging for her attention and as a result she contacted you and asked to meet. QUESTION: If I messed up and begged can I still get her back? Yes. But the more you begged or messed up the harder it will be. But nonetheless, nothing is impossible. Whatever you have been doing up to now keep doing it. Keep your attitude, frame of mind strategy, by keeping things constant you will do much better when meeting your girl. When you’re with her, stay calm; treat it like a business meeting. You’re the successful business tyrant and she is a client who is putting forth a proposal to you. When you meet make sure: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. You look good Smell good Have clean shoes Product in your hair Clean and pressed clothes Don’t go in a tie and suit but go smart casual (jeans and a dress shirt) By looking at your best it shows you have moved on and haven’t been at home for the last two weeks crying in your room. Mirror her when she enters the meeting. If she goes in for the hug, hug her etc. She might throw out a test by saying “I missed you”. She may not mean it but is willing to say it because she will know if you mean it. If this happens use the most powerful word… ‘Yes’. Just say ‘Yes’ nothing more, nothing less (be polite and friendly when you say it). Sit down and begin your conversation. She is probably going to get nosey here and will ask you all about your life. She wants to see whether you are over her yet. When she asks you all of these boring closed ended questions you can choose how you want to answer them. Don’t give too much detail; keep it short, sharp and simple. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 4D$ If she asks if you’re dating, tell her the truth. If someone has come into your life that you think might turn into something special, tell her you’re seeing someone. It’s up to you whether you want to ask her the same question. I suggest you don’t. If she wants you to know she’ll tell you. Would a businessman ask their client detailed questions about their personal life? Probably not. But the client might ask the businessman in order to determine what type of deal to offer him. *The best mentality to have when going into this meeting is that of not having any expectations. If you don’t have expectations you can’t be disappointed. Let’s talk time. If after one hour (at the most. Personally, half a hour is enough time) you aren’t talking about the relationship then tell her you have to be somewhere or it was great meeting her but you have to go. Then get on with your day. Businessmen are very busy people with a lot going on in their lives; they don’t have time to waste talking nonsense with clients. Or you could tell her at the beginning of the conversation that you have somewhere to be in half an hour. If she asks where tell her you’re going to see a mate. By doing this is forces her to get to the point and not ‘beat around the bush’. If she asks to meet again, tell her you’ll call her (more on this later). During the meeting, don’t give off the impression that you will take her back if she asks. Play hard to get and give off the impression you MIGHT take her back. She had her chance with you and she is the one that blew it. You’re not going to stop you’re life to accommodate her again. You’ll think about whether you want her back in your life again. Other Scenario: 1. If she tells you she has a BF If she comes to you and tells you she is dating someone else, don’t act affected by it, stay cool. But you need to realise she can’t come to you for laughs or comfort, while you act like her dancing monkey, and then she goes home to her boyfriend for everything else. You are not a man to take second rate friendship. 2. If she is all over you: !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 4C$ If she is all over you and is showing a lot of attraction towards you, don’t act like a kid in a candy shop and get the giggles and start grabbing. NO, play it cool and let her show all the affection she has for you, but you are only going to give her a little bit of affection at a time. If you pounce on what she gives you now, you’ll lose everything you have done so far. 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Basically: you give in to her somewhat but when you start reaching that threshold where you're giving too much — you back off. To increase your chances of getting back with your ex, take her on emotionally charged dates. This is a fairly long topic – I’ll email you about this in tomorrow. 43$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Approach 2: Extreme Contact (EC) EC is the exact opposite of ST and should only be used for an ‘Ultra’ Short-Term relationship (UST). An UST relationship is a relationship which is less than a month and a half. An UST relationship is very similar to a 2-3 year relationship, the only difference is that the stages at which the two partners enter and pass through them are increased ten fold. Reasons why a UST fails: 1. 2. 3. 4. You moved too fast You went overboard with your feelings You were too clingly You told her you love her (you can’t love someone after a month) What to do: 1. 2. 3. 4. Implement ST for seven days Implement EC and spend time with her Be an alpha male Slow down with the feelings 44$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Approach 3: Half Silent Treatment (HST) EC is used when it is physically impossible to use ST. EC is used if you HAVE to see each other on a regular basis i.e. you work with her. You should only use HST if you: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Live together Work together Have children together Go to school together Are in the same class Are apart of the same team/club Have a pet You should not use EC if you: 1. Can use ST You need to still act cool, unavailable and gentlemen like. You have to see your girlfriend even if you don’t want to If you live together: ST is out of the question. Everything still applies, you still need to show her that you don’t need her and have moved on. But during the initial stages you have to be careful as to where you express your emotions as you are in a semi-public environment. The problem with this scenario is that if you act s though you are over her then spend hours in your room crying, she is going to know about it. So, you are actually going to have to speed up the process of getting on with life. If she goes out on dates, do the same. Don’t sit around the house waiting for her to come back because she won’t pity you and it won’t help you get rid of the pain. Now, she’ll likely come to you for comfort but you’re not going to let her. Are you? Keep this up until she comes back and she will. If she moves out, even better, initiate ST. The same rule applies for HST – don’t bring up the relationship unless she does. If you have a child/ren together: Once again the aforementioned rules above still apply here. However, the tables have turned a little because everything you do must be “secret” so that it does not affect the child/ren. In this situation you need to only see her as the father of the child/ren and only contact her about matters regarding the child/ren. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 45$ For all other circumstances (e.g. you have a pet together or share something that requires regular contact and it's something other than children): Rules above apply here. Only contact her regarding mater of the object which requires you to meet. Don’t make up excuses to call her! If you work together/attend the same school (in the same class): The same rules as above apply but the important thing to note her is that you have just gone through a ‘Public Breakup’. You really need to keep your composure here as everything you do is public. Try to, to the best of your ability, not let the gossip that may be going around get to you. Keep your private life private, even if she doesn’t. If you ‘owe’ her: If she helped you through a really bad time (i.e. a death or something medical related) and she suffers something similar and she calls on you for support, you are kind of obliged to help her. But you are only helping her regarding the matter at hand; as soon as that is complete you must completely undergo the chosen approach. While helping her you must not bring up the relationship, she must do that. The benefit about this situation is that helping her through something bad will likely bring you closer and you two can reunite. 46$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Approach 4: Adjusted Contact (AC) The idea of LAC is to get closer to her rather than push her away. It’s a mixture of the above two strategies. You should use this approach if: 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. You are still together (nothing is official yet but you’re expecting a breakup or you are on a ‘break’) You failed to commit to marriage You broke up with her You were dating someone else while dating this girl and you didn’t end it soon enough (i.e. she is/was your mistress) You are married and heading for separation or divorce. You should avoid using this strategy if: 1. 2. If she’s with someone else Your situation doesn’t fit into the option above If you are still with her: You need to analyse the two graphs shown earlier and decide which one applies to you. If you haven’t been paying enough attention… then begin. If you have been paying too much attention and being too needy and clingy then gradually give here some space. 1. 2. 3. 4. Text her a little less each day Call her a little less each week See her a little less each week BUT DON’T STOP CONTACTING HER ALL AT ONCE. JUST TONE DOWN THE INTERATION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. The importance of doing this gradually is if you did this all at once she will notice and begin to think you are doing what you are doing because you are afraid of losing her. She will also think as soon as the fear disappears, you’ll go back to the way you were. Gradual change is KEY. 1. 2. 3. 4. Get her flowers Help out around the house Take her out on a special date Make her a candle lit dinner of her favourite food 4?$ Sit down with your girl and tell her you want to strengthen your relationship and you want to do it together. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ If she says you do something that you don’t agree with, don’t argue with her, agree and ask how you could change. Make sure you have a couple things you would like her to change otherwise it appears as though she is perfect and you are the problem. If this girl was your mistress but you took too long to breakup with your immediate partner (e.g. you were married and the divorce process took too long to finalise) then the answer is fairly simple you need to breakup with your partner. But here’s the catch, after you breakup with her there is no guarantee that your mistress will come back to you. You need to understand that this is a high-risk situation and you could very easily lose both of them. If the girl you are after asks to meet. Don’t be cocky-funny, be since and honest. If she wants you back take her, don’t act as though you might. If you broke up with her and now you want her back: using ST will destroy the situation then bury it 6 feet underground after building a house on top of the grave. Think about it, you put her through rejection and now you are asking for her back. Firstly, she is going to be angry at you. And because of this she is going to make you work to get her back. You need to adopt the over confident man while being cool and casual then you need to contact her as much as she will let you before you reach her boundaries. You need to be aware that she may set rules and you’ll need to abide by them because you put her in this situation and she has the power. If the reason she broke up with you was due to a failure on your part to commit to marriage you are in a good position because she was willing to spend the rest of her life with you. But be aware she is going to make you work hard to get the relationship back together. Still implement the above strategy but if you fail to get back with her because you didn’t make the changes or take the right actions, then you should employ ST. If you are married and are headed for a separation or divorce: Once again the same rules apply for this situation. Expect the possibilities are bigger – you could have children so be aware of the increased risk. 4@$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Approach 5: 'Renewed Contact' (RC) Renewed contact is about re-establishing an old relationship with someone you haven’t kept in touch with for an extended period of time. Renewed Contact to be used when: 1. You have been broken up for a long time (3+ months [Use your best judgement to calibrate an appropriate time]) but you haven’t kept in regular contact during this time (anything less than five times doesn’t count). Avoid RC if: 2. 3. If you have been apart for three months or more, but you have maintained constant contact during the time. In this case implement ST and if after 3+ months no progress is made, initiate RC. If you have been getting back and breaking up on a constant basis over the last three months. Three months is a long time to go without talking to someone. A lot can happen in that time, people can change, emotions can vanish and friendships can weaken. Effectively, you are now trying to date an entirely new person. There are things working in your favour but you also have obstacles. Positives: 1. 2. 3. 4. You know her Any negative feelings she may have towards you will have either vanished or decreased You genuinely want her You know what it was that led to the breakup and now you can avoid it Negatives: 1. 2. 3. She now has this idea that you cannot live up to your ‘promise’ She may not be the person you thought she was 3+ months ago She may be in a serious relationship What to do if she has just broken up or single: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Become her friend again (allows you to get into her life) Support her through the breakup as her emotions will be on a rollercoaster Fill the pain in her life Wait until any negative feelings towards you have faded Tell her you had something special and you want to try again. !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ 4A$ What do to if she is in a relationship: 6. 7. 8. Befriend her Keep your distance (especially if the BF treats her like a queen) Find out what she dislikes about her BF and indirectly show you don’t have those problems NOTE: Rules for UST apply here in RC as well. QUESTION: Is it ever too late? One word… NO. It’s just a matter of time before the negatives feelings subside then you can make your move. Play it cool and if she is happy with her current BF then you should be happy for her and let her move on. Don’t ruin what she has so you can be happy. 4B$ !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $ Conclusion I’ve outlined everything you need to know to get your ex back. Here’s your plan… 1. Think back to your relationship and try to determine the reasons it may have failed. Look at the list of things women hate I outlined earlier and see if any of these are relevant. 2. Try to become the alpha male. I’ve given you some tips and will be emailing you more suggestions over the next few days. Internalize the traits we mentioned. This will help you get back with your ex and, worst case scenario, will help you move on. 3. Implement one of the 5 strategies we’ve outlined. The most powerful is the No Contact strategy. I’ve received a lot of questions about the content I share. Guys like you tend to have a lot of really specific questions. So, you can email or call me. I get so many emails, it normally takes me a week to get back to you. Email me at: [email protected] I’ve got 5 friends to help me manage a phone line. We’re all dating/relationship experts and can answer pretty much any question you may have. Call us here: UK: 0911 612 4800 USA: 1900 945 1100 Finally, if you want to speak to me directly, I offer 30 minute consultations where I’ll answer all your questions and help you structure the correct approach. You can book a consultation here. Thanks again for taking the time out to read this manual and I sincerely hope it has helped. Good luck! 5D$ - Bruce Burn !"#$%"&$'()*$+$,,,-."#/"&0()*-)1-2*$ $
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