Presbyterian
Promise
News
Issue Number 38
April 2015
Marriage Re-imagined
Ralph Jones
The majority of presbyteries have voted to change our
denomination’s definition of marriage from “a man and a
woman,” to “two people, traditionally a man and a woman.”
As the news spread through Presbyterian circles, there was
considerable rejoicing. There were also expressions of deep
pain. It seems likely we have reached a transformative point
in our denominational faith journey.
Perhaps this is a good time to remember Saints Sergius
and Bacchus, even though their feast day is some months
away. They are immortalized in this mosaic from the
Monastery of St. Catherine, Mount Sinai, held together by
no less a figure than Jesus. It’s worth looking them up, if
only to see them in full color. The exact nature of their
relationship is still debated by scholars (what else do
scholars do?), but for centuries the church has honored
these Roman soldiers’ martyrdom for their faith while also
acknowledging their love for each other. The “new”
Presbyterian understanding of marriage just isn’t all that
new. Same gender marriage was recognized in the church at
least sixteen centuries ago.
Without sex to talk about, what are we all going to
debate at the next General Assembly? For the first time in
my lifetime there seem to be no major constitutional
problems in our Book of Order, at least for the liberal,
progressive, inclusive, welcoming, pinko, hospitable bunch.
We have been debating human sexuality and the control of
humans for a very long time. Honoring the gifts of divorced
pastors was one of the factors leading to the development
Contents
Marriage
Vandersall
Reflection
Religion
Space Created
True Colors
Light Shone
Calendar
and adoption of our Book of Confessions. The ordination
struggles of women, first, and more recently, LGBT people
are part of a continuing journey that has brought us to this
present open and welcoming place.
Let’s be clear. The renewing Presbyterian understanding
of marriage is a major event for LGBT folk. But it is also a
major event for all people of faith. We are challenged by it
to a renewed understanding of the Gospel, of the freedom
gifted by grace.
Yet, we may be cautioned by the pain and anger of
some of our Presbyterian sisters and brothers. Just possibly
we are witnessing the emergence of a denomination with a
general consensus on the nature of the Gospel – a
consensus that God’s love is the ultimate message. But that
emergent denomination inhabits an institution created and
often housed in buildings built by people who also loved
God and experienced God’s love for them rather differently
that we are saying we do. How do we honor the heritage
that formed us while remaining faithful followers? What
have we accomplished if we just go separate ways, giving up
on those with whom we disagree, however comfortable
that prospect may seem? There is a profound ambiguity in
the freedom of the Gospel, a freedom that Paul wrestled
with in many of his letters. Our challenge is to make our
faith so vibrant that they’ll know we’re Christians by our
love.
Vandersall on Marriage
Rev. Mieke Vandersall
Mieke served Presbyterian Welcome (now Parity) as
executive for a number of years. This was a Facebook posting in
response to word that the presbyteries had approved the
marriage amendment.
I so appreciate this from my friend and colleague Brian
Ellison as we joyfully hear the last vote that makes marriage
all the way legal in the Presbyterian Church (USA). (Not that
that stopped me from, you know, getting married, or, you
know, officiating at weddings of same-gender loving
couples.) It feels like a strange day for me. Perhaps because
I feel so far from the church and the movement that was my
home for so long. Perhaps because this is one little piece in
the puzzle of a church gasping for life, and at times finding
it. Perhaps because I used to give all my allegiance and put
all of my faith in the church, and only recently have realized
that Jesus is the one who actually deserves that faith and
who will fulfill me with that faith. Hard to say. It just feels
strange.
But here are Brian’s words, and I am hopeful he has
spoken them and that he works among so many others
whom I hold near and dear who have worked so hard for
this day.
…When we withhold the truth, even when we don’t speak
truth because our conversation partners might speak a
different truth; when we stifle ourselves from engaging one
another; when we refuse to risk the hurt, the conflict, the
busted agenda, the lost donors, the messed-up programs—
holding back does not result in one body. It results in NO body
… nobody learning, nobody growing, nobody transforming,
nobody being church.
work where possible with True Colors, Inc. a
well-established service agency that works with LGBTQ
youth in Connecticut to provide mentoring, activities, and
various kinds of emotional and practical support. (See
accompanying story and our Calendar.) We have also begun
to work with Rev. Tracy Mehr-Muska, Protestant Chaplain at
Wesleyan University, supporting her efforts to provide ways
for variously identified students to talk about their
spiritual/sexual journeys. Our first project was “Religion,
Faith and Queer Identity,” a program sponsored by Rev.
Mehr-Muska and the Office of Religious and Spiritual Life,
Student intern Aidan Bardos from the Queer Resources
Center, and Presbyterian Promise. The event was held on
the Wesleyan campus. As part of our involvement,
Presbyterian Promise brought Rev. Ray Bagnuolo, a gay
And Now?
The Work that We Still Need to Do...
Dick Hasbany
In this day and age, it is easy to be young and
gay/lesbian/transgender/bisexual and queer. Right? Well –
maybe – theoretically. Maybe no.
Certainly, things were different when I started to come
out in Los Angeles and San Francisco. There was very little
good news for us coming out of most of the churches, and
sadly it seemed better to look elsewhere. So we did. There
would be, for instance, a great buzz in the “neighborhood”
when we learned that a gay character would show up on a
TV series. We were always looking for a breakthrough event
of some kind, and we would actually make it a point to be
home in front of the TV. It seemed important to welcome
this image, to relish and talk about it – it acknowledged that
we existed – and most of us had kind of thought that we
were the only ones. But, mostly we were disappointed in
these rare new characters. They were too flamboyant, too
clubby, too rich, too trivial, too … something. In reality, we
flesh and blood people, children of God, were too diverse,
and both too special and too ordinary. Today, there are lots
of gay-ish and even trans characters on TV. We’ve had the
wonderful movie Harvey Milk. Same-gender marriage
licenses are being issued in a majority of the states! And
there is good news coming out of the churches: PC (USA)
finally ordains its LGBT candidates if they find a call, and
Presbyterian ministers officiate at same-gender marriages. It
is a different world. And yet . . .
Last year Presbyterian Promise decided to focus some
of its work on that “and yet…” We want to pay attention to
the remaining work with those eager and needing to hear
good news as they journey toward self-acceptance as a child
of God. We have begun to work with partners who support
people who are coming out and need places to talk about
their sexuality and their faith, who need to find reassurance
as they grapple with their identities, their integrity, dignity,
and even their safety. More precisely, we have begun to
Presbyterian Promise NEWS – April 2015
Page 2
Our table at True Colors
June O’Neil
Presbyterian Minister now working with That All May Freely
Serve, to reflect with Wesleyan students on his journey as a
gay man in the Presbyterian Church.
Rev. Bagnuolo’s
reflections on that event follow.
Religion, Faith and Queer Identity
Rev. Ray Bagnuolo
I was privileged to join with a gathering of Wesleyan
students at the “Religion, Faith, and Queer Identity
Interfaith Panel Discussion,” hosted by the Queer Resources
Center, Office of Religious and Spiritual Life, and
Presbyterian Promise.
The February 7th gathering was attended by more than
thirty students who engaged a panel made up of a current
student, an alumnus, a Palestinian Muslim Chaplain (Sammi
Shamma), an MCC pastor who knew his desire to transition
to male as his call to ministry, and me, an openly gay
Presbyterian minister.
We began our time together around lunch tables,
where Rev. Mehr-Muska suggested that the topic of gender
identity, spirituality and religion informally frame the
discussion. It was in this table talk that my heart opened in
ways I hadn’t realized it had closed. I had forgotten how
tough the journey through school and early adulthood had
been, not just as a person questioning my gender identity
but as someone for whom it was very important to hold on
to my religious identity. The conflict was great for me then
and it was great for many of the students sitting with me at
this table as well.
While the students spoke, I could feel the pain of my old
struggles, somehow made worse in hearing them still
present in the lives of others. I couldn’t help think of all
those who today say that our work is done. As I listened, it
was clear how much we still have to do.
During our conversations, I assured the students that
some faith communities were really changing. I could see
how they wanted to believe that and know more. One
especially poignant moment was when one of the students
told us of his devotion and personal relationship with Mary,
the Mother of Jesus. He was concerned that being who he
was might mean his rejection by the church would cause
that to be changed or taken away. I assured him that his
devotion to Mary could not be taken away by anyone, ever.
During the panel that followed, I had an opportunity
Wesleyan Panel
Hasbany
talk about the work of the last forty years in our
denomination and the as yet under appreciated and
prophetic shifts that are happening in the Presbyterian
Church (USA). I shared how these and the work in other
communities of faith signal that things really are getting
better: more doors are opening and staying open than ever
before! And, I agreed with how difficult it is to be part of the
change; called to be part of the change; and leading our
faith communities into the real work on gender, that is yet
ahead.
“Still,” I couldn’t help saying, “what an exciting time to
be living and to have such important work to do.”
As we left the gathering, I kept thinking about those
who are quick to say that our work is done, time to move
on. I wished they had been there to be reminded of how
much we have yet to do in caring for our youth and their
families. And, as I held these thoughts in my heart, I
marveled at the ability of these young people to gather,
openly, honestly and in community, talking about who they
are and who or what God is in their own lives, and the work
they are committed to doing.
It was that hopeful, overwhelming presence of God that
caught me off guard (again), when I had least expected it.
Yes, it is a privilege, a humbling gift, to be part of a
movement and the changes we have achieved that have
opened new times for sacred conversations such as these.
Blessed! I am blessed and grateful for the irrepressible
presence and spirit of the students at Wesleyan and those
who walk with them on their path.
Space Created to Discuss
Queer Identity in Religion
The Wesleyan Argus, the University’s student newspaper,
reported on the event Queer Identity and Religion on February
10. Here is that report by
Natasha Nujardin, contributing writer
A panel on Feb. 7 confronted the issues that arise
between the spiritual and the sexual. The panel included
members of the Wesleyan community and religious
organizations in a discussion of the intersection of religious
and queer identities. It consisted of five members of
different religious affiliations, sexual identities, and gender
identities: Sami Shamma, a Muslim chaplain; Reverend Ray
Bagnuolo who provides leadership for That All May Freely
Serve, Presbyterian mission and ministry; Reverend Aaron
Miller who is a pastor of the Metropolitan Community
Church in Hartford; John Steele ‘14; and Katy Thompson ‘15.
The event was organized by the Queer Resource Center,
the Office of Religious and Spiritual Life, and Presbyterian
Promise, an organization that is not affiliated with Wesleyan
but that works closely with the University on religious
matters. The panel was intended to create a safe space for
members of the University to explore the relationship
between their different fields and sexual identities.
“We thought it might be interesting for [the panelists]
to talk about their experience of bringing together all their
identities: their sexual identity and their religious identity.”
said University Protestant Chaplain Reverend Tracy
Mehr-Muska.
Andrew McCloskey ‘15, one of the founders of The
Wesleyan Association of Christian Thinkers, asserted that it
is crucial for students to have these types of discussions.
The event began with small group discussions of the
negative and positive experiences members had observed
pertaining to the relationship between faith and the queer
population.
“This is not intended to be a religious or philosophical
debate, but it is intended to provide a safe space for people
to talk about the intersections between their multiple
identities,” McCloskey said.
The idea of the event as a safe space was further
exemplified by the question-and-answer period, during
which the audience members shared their own experiences
in reconciling two identities.
Steele, who graduated from the University last spring,
Presbyterian Promise NEWS – April 2015
Page 3
expressed his excitement at being invited to speak at the
panel.
“I was really happy to see that people were creating a
space where these two identities that I’ve always kept
separate could exist and come out together,” he said.
Steele also brought up the issue of tolerance at the
University.
“I think Wesleyan is a place where they are tolerant to
the point of intolerance,” he said. “I’ve always felt it was so
much harder for me to be religious at Wesleyan than gay.”
Hannah Rimm ‘15, a student who attended the panel,
agreed with Steele.
“On campus it is easier to be queer than it is to be
religious, and there is a certain level of tolerance at
Wesleyan where there are certain things where we can say,
‘It’s so great you can be any of these things,’ but at the
same time, ‘Oh, you’re religious,’ is not tolerated as much,
and it’s important to talk about these two things together,’
she said.
The idea of religious institutions and personal faith was
also addressed.
Bagnuolo was born into the Roman Catholic Church but
when he came out as queer, he felt excluded by some of the
Church’s policies. He ended up leaving the denomination
and joined the Presbyterian Church, and he now provides
national leadership for That All May Freely Serve.
“When I found out I was gay, I tried to conform,
because the last thing I wanted to do was be rejected”
Bagnuolo said. “It was a long time before I realized I didn’t
need to be in an abusive relationship with the Church to
have a relationship with God.”
Talia Baurer ‘15, another attendee, expressed similar
sentiments.
“A lot of people on this campus have a problem
separating out institutionalized religion and individual
religion, so there can be very significant intolerance towards
people who are involved in any faith and it’s really
silencing,” Baurer said. “Especially when people are trying to
reconcile different parts of their identity, it can be really
harmful.”
Mehr-Muska hoped that the event would inspire its
attendees to connect their spiritual and sexual identities.
“My dream is for people to not have to leave their faith
at the door” she said. “You can be the full person that
you’re called to be.”
True Colors Workshop
Living the Cards You ARTS Dealt
Tricia Petraven
Tricia Petraven is a Presbyterian Promise board member,
Candidate for Ministry and artist. She recently offered a
workshop as part of the True Colors Annual Conference
As I prepared for the True Colors workshop I was
Presbyterian Promise NEWS – April 2015
Page 4
leading, I had no idea what to expect. Would I have seven
people? Twenty? Just to be overly prepared I brought
enough supplies for forty-seven participants. We had forty!
After all the chairs were filled, people kept coming to the
door and asking to sit on the floor. It seems that the creative
people who came to the conference were craving an art
experience. Mine was one of the few workshops that
offered that opportunity. Most of my group seemed to be
upper high school or college age, with a few adults.
The workshop was based on an exhibit I had done using
playing cards and photography. I had taken black and white
photos of several of my friends individually, with the subject
holding five playing cards as though playing poker. Then I
asked each subject to write five things that happened to her
in life over which she felt no control, things that were dealt
to her that made a big impact. I then wrote these things on
five cards and hung them from the framed photo.
At the True Colors workshop I modified this slightly. I
Tricia’s photo, used as an example
prepared playing cards in advance with white stickers on
them, and gave everyone a sharpie to write on their own
five cards. Then I went around the room and took black and
white photos of every participant holding five cards, as I had
done before. Each person in the workshop also received a
frame, free of charge, many of which were donated by
church friends. I printed each photo I took onto photo paper
and they were handed out to the individuals to put into
their own frames. Tape, ribbon and hot glue guns were
available for each person to attach the cards to the frame in
any way.
The participants were very enthusiastic! As they created
their cards and frames, some happily conversed with those
around them, while others worked privately. Catching
glimpses of the cards they wrote as some shared them with
me, I saw horrible and difficult situations, like “Heroin
Addict” as well as motivational messages, like “Good things
will come to you if you try.” As a whole, the energy in the
room was electric and active, interactive and exciting!
After the workshop concluded, I had an opportunity to
talk with two of the participants, both of whom had been
coming to the conference for several years. One said she
was so glad to be able to make something artistic. The other
said it was one of the best workshops he attended, because
of the interactive experience. As I thought about what they
said, I realized that by the second day of the conference,
participants had been filled with ideas and words and
thoughts, and that my workshop might have offered a way
for people to assimilate what they had been experiencing as
well as to generate an art piece that expressed who they are
becoming.
Light Shone
Parsons, Moderator Heath Rada and Vice Moderator Larissa
Kwong Abazia. We asked for a public statement concerning
these Religious Freedom laws and also for a review of plans
for denominational events in Indianna, most especially
Triennium which is being planned next year. Each of our
concerns and our requests for action were graciously
addressed. I, and I’m sure the board joins me, say a big
thank you for this strong, clear action.
You can find both our letter and Parsons’s statement in
the News section of our website.
We should all also be grateful to all those presbyters
who over the many years and also so recently have voted to
clear our Constitution of systemic injustices. You have freed
our denomination to speak the love and justice that comes
with the grace we have been given. Thank you all!
A light has shone from the PC USA to our neighbors.
That is a blessing. That light also shows that there is still
much work to do. Some of our neighbors are hurting, being
hurt by, the significant changes that are happening in church
and society. There will no doubt be continuing efforts to
subvert the freedom and grace newly achieved in our
denomination’s polity. As Arkansas has demonstrated, there
is much to do.
Ralph Jones
On March 31st, our Stated Clerk, Gradye Parsons,
released a statement on the new so called Religious
Freedom law in Indianna. Here are some excerpts:
The Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), rooted in the love of God
through Jesus and guided by the charge to love thy neighbor,
opposes any legislation that could enable discrimination and is
eagerly awaiting proposed revisions to a problematic Indiana
religious freedom law. …
The PC(USA) affirms religious freedom and engages in ministry
widely throughout the state of Indiana. Youth Triennium has
been held for decades at Purdue University in West Lafayette,
Indiana. Over the next several weeks plans for the 2016
Triennium will be evaluated.
We assume this law had good intentions. Yet the PC(USA) must
advocate for those who may be impacted by the improper use
of the legislation in its current form. This denomination stands
firmly on its ongoing commitment to fight discrimination of any
sort, including against people of color, immigrants, and the
LGBT community.
We anxiously await the changes Governor Pence has promised;
call on legislators in states with similar laws pending to
incorporate language that articulates nondiscriminatory intent;
and stand in solidarity with our sisters and brothers who are
continually denied equality and justice.
I’m sure that Rev. Parsons and others in Louisville
thought carefully and prayerfully before speaking out. I trust
many will be grateful for his forthright statement of support
for LGBT people and all communities facing discrimination.
As it happened, Ray Bagunolo had sent a draft letter to
denominational leadership which arrived the day before the
recent, scheduled meeting of the Presbyterian Promise
board. As a result, adapting Ray’s letter, the board wrote
Calendar
Focus on LGBTQ Youth, April 29th, New Haven: Join
Robin McHaelen, Executive Director of True Colors for a
lunch provided by Presbyterian Promise at First
Presbyterian, New Haven.
McHaelen will meet with interfaith clergy and youth
leaders in the New Haven area as well as Presbyterian
pastors from around the presbytery. Conversation will focus
on the ways True Colors works with LGBTQ young people,
engaging them in issues that matter most to them. Religious
educators and youth leaders are invited for lunch. Noon to 2
p.m. at First Presbyterian Church of New Haven, 704
Whitney
Avenue,
New
Haven,
CT.
RSVP
to
[email protected] or Dick Hasbany, (203)
208-0578 or [email protected].
Pride in the Park, June 13, Norwalk: For the first time,
Presbyterian Promise will have a table at the Fairfield
County Pride festival to witness to the welcome that can be
found in Presbyterian churches in the Fairfield County area.
If you can help staff the table, please call Dick Hasbany,
(203) 208-0578 or write [email protected].
Rhode Island Pride, June 20, Providence: Continuing a
long tradition, resbyterian Promise will partner with
Providence Presbyterian Church to staff a table at the
Rhode Island Pride festival to witness to God’s welcoming
love. If you can help staff the table, please contact Dan
Blackford.
Presbyterian Promise NEWS – April 2015
Page 5
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By organizing inclusive and inquiring churches in the
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Into a community of mutual support for the empowerment of
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender persons,
And for outreach, education and Christian evangelism.
visit us at
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Presbyterian Promise NEWS
Our ministry is one of reconciliation – introducing GLBT people and families to
welcoming congregations even as we educate churches
– April 2015 Page 8
about what it means to be truly welcoming.