1. family and parenting
2. motherhood
3. pregnancy

Volume 1, Issue 4 · Winter 2007
T HE S HAPE OF A M OTHER : E XAMINING P REGNANCY AND B ODY I MAGE
B Y A PRILYNNE P IKE
Sixteen weeks and twenty pounds into my
first pregnancy I looked down at my belly,
just starting to form a tiny bump, and saw
a strange red mark. Brushing it off as an
indentation from my swiftly shrinking
jeans, I didn't think anything of it until the
next morning. It was still there. My first
stretch mark. Twenty-two weeks and fifty
more pounds later, my belly, breasts, and
hips looked like a California road map,
complete with mountains of cellulite. I
remember looking in the mirror on my
due date and bursting into tears. As far as I
was concerned, I had lost every shred of
beauty I'd ever had.
For many women, pregnancy is the most
wonderful time of their life. But for others, it just… isn't. With all of the changes
in your body that come with pregnancy, it
can be hard for a woman's self-confidence
to keep up. Ann Douglas, author of several
pregnancy books including The Unofficial
Guide to Having a Baby, commented, "Many
young women in our culture have real love
-hate relationships with their bodies.
There's such a strong pressure in our culture to be young and slim and active and
vital, and for some women, when they're
pregnant, that doesn't happen." Women
Is there any one size or shape that is
"right?" Of course not, but sometimes it is
hard to see it that way. During pregnancy
most women experience some form of
discomfort. With sore backs, nausea,
stretch marks, loose joints, and a host of
other challenges, it is easy to see why some
women's confidence takes a beating during
this wonderful time of life.
Pregnancy and the Female Image
Throughout History
One of the hardest parts of pregnancy is
the inherent weight gain and size increase.
Our society today has defined beauty as
stick thin with no extra fat or curves. This
unyielding fashion plate is difficult for the
fittest non-pregnant woman to maintain,
but it is simply not possible during pregPhotography by Jeanette LeBlanc.
K ANGAROO C ARE
B Y M ARY B ETH B ONFIGLIO
Kangaroo Care, or Kangaroo Mother
Care, is a method of skin-to-skin contact
to promote parent/infant bonding.
According to www.kanagroo
mothercare.com it is a "universally
available and biologically sound method of
care for all newborns and in particular for
premature babies." This type of care
incorporates three components: skin-toskin contact, exclusive breastfeeding and
support of the infant mother dyad.
Kangaroo care has been studied in depth
since 1983 when neonatologists Edgar Rey
and Hector Martinez first implemented it
in Bogotá, Columbia. It consisted of
placing a diaper-clad baby in an upright
position on a parent's bare chest, tummy
come in all different shapes and size and
this is never truer than in pregnancy. Some
women have a high belly, some low. Some
carry outward and some simply thicken
around the waist.
to tummy and in between the breasts. The
baby's head was turned so that the ear is
above the heart. (1)
Kangaroo Care is known to have positive
impact on premature babies and their
families. In the United States, the few
hospitals that regularly use kangaroo care
protocols have mothers or fathers "wear"
their babies for two to three hours per
day, skin-to-skin. The baby is naked
except for a diaper, and something must
cover his or her back—either the parent's
clothing or a receiving blanket folded in
fourths. During kangaroo care, a
premature baby's overall growth rate
increases.
S EE K ANGAROO C ARE
ON
P AGE
10
S EE S HAPE
I NSIDE
ON
P AGE 12
THIS ISSUE :
2008 R ACE FOR THE C URE 2
K AHLAN ’ S B IRTH S TORY
3
M OTHER ’ S B LESSING
4
E XPRESSION T HRU B IRTH
A RT
5
W ORLD T RADITIONS
6
N EW K IND OF I NTIMACY
7
10 W AYS TO C ELEBRATE
P REGNANCY
11
E DITOR ’ S N OTE
F IRST P ERSON : 2007 R ACE
Imagine the variety of responses you
might get if you mention the idea of
“celebrating pregnancy” in a room full of
women. How many mothers do you
think would cheer, “I loved being pregnant?” On the other hand, do you think
more women might say, “Celebrate
pregnancy? What’s there to celebrate
besides the baby finally coming out?”
B Y K AREN B AYLESS F ELDMAN
What does it mean to celebrate pregnancy? In this issue, we reveal many ways
to enjoy this special time of life, the
whole process of growth that connects
the mother and baby, as well as the defining moment of separation, the mundane miracle that is birth.
We’ve chosen this topic as a starting
point for you, our friend and reader, to
explore your own thoughts and ways of
celebrating pregnancy. Maybe you’re an
expectant mother coping with the daily
fatigue, discomfort and concerns of pregnancy who needs the lift that hearing
“You are beautiful!” can provide. Perhaps
you’re a dad or a doula, open to learning
some supportive reassurances or positive
words to share with a mother-to-be. If
you’re a birth professional, we hope reflecting on these messages could expand
your ability to provide your clients with
compassion and comfort.
Some of the articles in our little publication may startle you with graphic detail
or blunt, raw emotions. Just as we ask at
our birth circles, please try to listen and
read with an open mind and heart. Birth
itself is an exchange, a dialogue and an
intersection between numerous people.
From conception to labor, pregnancy is a
journey and adjustment for the entire
family. Each person deserves their share
of information and discourse, as the new
family discovers and defines their future.
Pregnancy is a beautiful, rich, exciting,
full and short time in a family’s life.
Celebrate it!
Michelle Hottya
Editor-in-Chief
2
I know some of the most amazing people.
I have witnessed my community of people
help each other with kind words on a
message board, gather items to help new
mothers, and collect items for people
affected by floods, and yes, even pass
state laws. So, it should come as no surprise that for two years many of us have
come together in Phoenix for the Susan
G. Komen Race for the Cure.
In 2006 a highly motivated Maisha
Benedetti managed to get a team together
that included 26 walkers and several
“Sleep-In for the Cure” participants. The
highlight of last year’s race was that some
of us walked the entire race “upstream.”
We were supposed to meet Kristan Landry
before the race so we could walk together. Kristan was “one of our own” and
she had been diagnosed and going through
treatment for breast cancer most of 2006.
But some of us got a late start and Kristan
and her family went walking without
us—probably figuring us for total flakes
that couldn’t be relied on to remember
the number to 911 in an emergency (that
only happened once and I’ve practiced
since then). But we were only late, we
weren’t quitters—we weren’t going to
give up on finding Kristan.
So we started at the end of the route and
walked towards the crowd—a sea of people all wondering what the hell we were
doing. I was trying my best to call for
her. We looked for the woman in pink
(the color bestowed upon the women
who have survived or are surviving breast
cancer). There were a lot of women in
pink. So not helpful. And sad also. Maisha
said that Kristan said she’d have a balloon.
We looked. We started blaming Kristan.
How could she start without us? Why
couldn’t she have gotten a bigger balloon?
Why didn’t she give us her cell phone
number. We felt defeated. We nearly
gave up. I think we even started walking
the right direction.
FOR THE
C URE
Nearly in tears from the realization that
Kristan just thought we were crazy people we spotted her husband! Aha! We
knew she’d be nearby, and he pointed us
in the right direction. After finding Kristan and trying to come across as normal as
possible we totally proved the opposite
by starting the race again. This time with
the walkers. We walked—some of us
walked really fast (more trying to get
S EE R ACE
ON
P AGE 18
A RIZONA B IRTH C ONNECTION
Staff
Editor-in-Chief
Michelle Hottya
Managing Editor
Jeanette LeBlanc
Features Editor
MaryBeth Bonfiglio
Graphic Design
Danielle Muns
Melinda Merkel Iyer
Advertising Editor
Danielle Muns
Mona Speaks
Staff Writers:
Jamie Bodily
Aprilynne Pike
Kewal K. Khalsa
Narsingh K. Khalsa
Beth Kristin Ott
Leigh Steele
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ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
K AHLAN L ORRAINE P ATEL ’ S B IRTH S TORY
B Y S TACY P ATEL
Snap…. Eyes wide open.
3:11a.m.
G-d I have to pee…….
Feet hit the floor.
Wait, where did all of this
pressure come from.
Hobbling to the bathroom,
pregnancy waddle in full swing.
Groping the wall, found the
light.
Waiting for relief, but the
pressure is still there.
Get up, hobble to the wall.
Is this it?
Shivering, feeling dizzy,
shivering.
Shower on, wait for the hot
water….. wait, surge, wait.
Wetness, warmth, surge.
Well, this normally happens,
but this feels weird.
Forehead pressed against
coolness, smoothness over my
cheeks as I
slide down the glass.
Arms pressing on the ledge.
Water not working, still feel
funny.
Are you having another one?
Ummmmm.
I see him sitting there, watching
me surge.
Can you grab a clock or
something?
How in the world would he get
a clock in here? I guess he could
unplug mine?
He comes in with a watch,
DUH.
What time is it?
3:29am.
Another surge and I sway in the
water.
I can hold the watch babe, you
don't have to stay.
Water, warmth, pressure,
surge.
3:39am.
Ok, this is definitely not
working.
I think I need something else,
out of this water!
Burr, the cold feels good.
Sniff, oh, we should have
washed the towels.
Babe, I am not sure if this is it.
How do you feel?
Tired, surges coming so often.
When was your last one.
2 minutes ago.
How far apart are they?
10 minutes, but I am not sure.
Can you call Wendi.
Ok.
Surge, I hear him dial, ok 2135.
I am leaning against the bed, not
sure to get in or not.
I hear the phone ring.
Footsteps up the stairs and in the
hall.
Yeah, we're not sure…..
Babe, are they close, what do
they feel like?
Pressure, wait, breathe…..
Yeah, I think this is real…..
Ok, see ya in a few minutes.
Oh, please knock, not ring, for
the… Ok.
Can I get in a bath.
Ok, I will run one.
Leaning against the wall.
Breathe deep.
Oh good, he brought my
tape….
I smell lavender.
I really like those candles, hope I
like the smell when this is over.
Warmth surrounds me.
Ah, I feel weightless, this really
does feel good.
My back hurts.
Do you want a pillow?
Sure, ok, whatever.
This is Marie Mongan, founder
of the Hypnobirthing
Institute…
I drift in and out, listening to the
tape…… Rewind, play……
Wendi is here Stace.
How are you doing?
Just relaxing.
What are you feeling?
Surges and they feel close.
Ok, well, keep on relaxing and
listening to your tape and call
me.
Can you listen to the baby?
Sure….
A F AMILY F ULFILLED
A FTER I NFERTILITY
B Y B ETH K RISTIN O TT
Thump, thump, thump….
Everything sounds perfect.
You feel ok?
Yeah… shhh….
I never questioned the notion that I
would be a mother. I needed to be a
mother.
Surge.
Ok, well call me when you need
me.
Ever since I was a child myself, if there
was a baby anywhere near me, I was
drawn to the wiggly wonder of that
fresh, new person.
I drift in and out, maybe dozens
of times,
listening to Marie's voice
help me drift.
Strong surge comes, thinking of
blue satin ribbons dancing
anesthesia
on my uterus, breathing down
oxygen for my baby.
I feel strong surges, need to
blow it out now.
Listen to the words, do not
think about what is going on.
Wait, I need to think about it.
I feel the peak, wow these are
long….
No, think of the blue ribbons
dancing on your body, blowing
down…..
I feel cold.
Amit, can you make the bed?
Do you want to lie down?
I am cold.
Do you want me to fill up the
tub again?
No, I am cold and maybe want
to change position, these are
coming
strong and close.
OK.
How much longer…….
I am freezing.
Surge, blow, surge, blow,
ribbons, eyes rolling back and
peak….. RELAX!!!!!!
Here is your towel babe.
Shivering….. freezing!!!!
Can you help me?
He grabs my elbow.
Climb up, g-d these sheets are
uglier on than off…..
Gross….
I lie down and NO WAY!!!
S EE K AHLAN ’ S B IRTH
S TORY ON P AGE 15
So, I was completely unprepared for the
day that my doctor explained my slim
chances of getting pregnant. I was even
less prepared for the decisions my husband and I had to face. There was only
one thing I knew for sure: I would be a
mother.
After trying everything from charting
temperatures to taking the ovulation
inducer Clomid, (with no results besides
unbelievable mood swings) we opted for
in vitro fertilization. Although the daily
shot regimen, egg retrieval, mediocre
odds and massive bill terrified me, I was
more afraid of never getting pregnant.
We had female and male factors complicating our ability to conceive, so in vitro
was the most likely route to success.
So, we dove into the process with every
ounce of optimism we could muster. The
weeks of treatment were full of highs and
lows. I had some concerns when I produced only seven eggs. I knew that some
women produce more than a dozen in
the process. Still, I believed in my body.
When the time came, we decided to
transfer three embryos into my uterus
and hope for any of them to survive. The
ten longest days I thought I would ever
face followed, and on Dec. 17, 2002, I
paced around my house waiting to hear
the result of my blood test. The phone
rang, sending chills through my body,
and then sheer elation took over — I was
pregnant. The nurse gave more details,
S EE F ULFILLED A FTER I NFERTILITY
ON P AGE 17
3
M OTHER ’ S B LESSING : A C ELEBRATION
OF
M OTHERHOOD
B Y K EWAL K. K HALSA
A Mother's Blessing is a celebration of new life, the mother who
brings it forth, and the community that supports her during the
profound transition of pregnancy and motherhood. It is a chance
to honor the spirit and strength of a pregnant woman and her
journey as a mother. The Mother's Blessing celebration brings
gifts of prayer, encouragement, and friendship and can be done
for any pregnant women late in her pregnancy. With focus
around the mother, a Mother's Blessing is a spiritually supportive
event and should be guided by the beliefs and values that are
important to the mother. There are no rules for how to host a
Mother's Blessing but there is a basic structure that can help
maintain its integrity and positive nature.
Welcome & Opening the Mother's Blessing
As guests arrive, invite everyone to join together in a circle.
Guests are typically women friends but can include men if
desired. To begin, the host may share the intention of the event,
recognize the guest of honor, and set the tone by offering a
prayer or poem. This is also a good time to encourage guests to
share only positive and supportive words and to remind those
who are new to the concept of Mother's Blessing, that the
purpose of the event is to support and uplift the mother. Next,
ask all guests to introduce themselves and share what they would
like to bring to the gathering. During this time guests could also
read a poem, a prayer, or offer a song.
Nurturing the Mother
Mother's Blessing activities can vary and the host can involve
guests in a variety of ways. Select projects and entertainment that
will inspire and treat the mother. There can be several going on
simultaneously if necessary, to keep all guests engaged. This is
also a fine time to make snacks, drinks, and music available.
If the mother enjoys and is comfortable with physical nurturing
from her friends then treatments such as foot massage and hair
grooming are nice options. The mother can also be decorated
with henna art on her belly or a flower lei that is made by guests.
Some mothers enjoy having a belly cast made. Fun activities that
invite group participation are prayer flags and birth necklaces.
Prayer flags are inspired by the style of Tibetan prayer flags –
cloth squares that hang from a rope or string. Each guest can
write a prayer or blessing on a flag. A birth necklace involves a
similar plan. A necklace is strung by each guest selecting one
bead and placing it on the necklace string. With each bead, the
guest offers a prayer or blessing.
One tradition is to give each guest a candle to light. As the guest
4
A birth altar made of special objects helps create a sacred space for
honoring the new mother and baby.
lights the candle, they speak their prayer for the mother. An
intention is then set for each guest to light their candle when the
mother is in labor and to send her prayers and blessings during
that time. (A phone tree ought to be created so all guests receive
word when labor is in progress.) With this the mother knows she
will have the prayers and support of her community while
laboring.
Some hosts like to include gifts in the Mother's Blessing. It is
traditional to give natural, handmade gifts. This kind of gift could
range from handmade clothes for baby to a coupon for
babysitting. But gift giving is a preference set by the mother and
host and can include whatever is needed or desired. Some
Mother's Blessings ask for gifts just for the mother; others offer
gifts for baby. Gift giving can be included or omitted as is
appropriate for the mother and situation.
Closing the Mother's Blessing Celebration
To end, gather all guests in a circle once again. Some hosts enjoy
having guests hold hands or share a song or poem. Thank the
friends and community for joining together to support the
mother.
Kewal K. Khalsa is a mother, a Kundalini Yoga Teacher, and a teacher
of Prenatal Yoga. She is the Director of Yoga Phoenix, a Kundalini Yoga
center that has been offering Yoga in Central Phoenix since 1970.
www.YogaPhoenix.com
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
E XPRESSION T HROUGH B IRTH A RT
B Y N ARSINGH K AUR K HALSA
The day has just begun. A pregnant
woman in Arizona wakes to find she has
just had an amazing dream about her
unborn baby. She hurries over to the desk
to find a piece of paper and a pen. She sits
and jots down the dream before it fades
away. In the dream, the feeling of her
child in her arms still lingers and she starts
to write a poem.
As the sun starts to peak over the treetops
a mother of three sits at her breakfast
table in Sweden and starts to mold some
clay into the shape of a pregnant body.
Her hands remember every curve and
shape. She remembers the size of her
hips, the way her belly starts to drop
around 38 weeks and way her belly
button sticks out like a door bell.
When the sun reaches its full height, a
mother of two rubs her swollen belly
with oil and smiles at the women
gathering around her. She is in a small
village in India and her neighbors and
family are gathering to paint symbols of
luck and joy on her belly. They make a
paste called Henna and use small sticks or
plastic bags in the shape of cones as pens
and brushes. As they draw on her belly,
they laugh and tell stories of birth. The
women give advice on luck charms, herbs
and positions that has been given to them
by their Gods and Goddesses.
As the sun falls a mother in Brazil sits in a
cold waiting room. She is about to get a
scheduled cesarean section, a method of
delivery in her country that is preferred
by medical professionals over all others.
She scribbles on a scrap piece of paper: a
drawing of her doctor wearing horns like
the devil and the nurses as cows following
the herd with no minds of their own. She
knows what she has agreed to is wrong.
But only her art can show how she really
feels. In the picture her baby comes out
glowing with light. It is a healthy baby.
As the sun starts to set, a mother of four
in Australia sets a chair gingerly in the
middle of her vegetable garden. She is
about to get a professional belly cast
done. When she is finished, she will rinse
herself off with a hose, while watering her
garden at the same time. Conserving
water is something she is always conscious
of. As the midwife applies the cast, a big
gust of wind picks up sand from the yard
and it sticks to her belly cast. At that
moment the mother
knows how she will
decorate her belly.
Using different shades
of sand, she will make
a sand mandala on the
mold of her belly.
When the sky turns to
dark red and purple, a
South African woman
with eight children,
finishes up her sewing
and puts it away for
tomorrow. She is
tirelessly working on a
picture of her unborn
baby she sews onto a
tapestry made to
represent her family. She has told a story
in threads, for each pregnancy. The
tapestry even records her two
miscarriages.
The moon starts to peak on the ocean
horizon line. A gathering of Hawaiian
mothers comes to bless their sister. Each
woman has carved a bead and blessed it.
The bead is a powerful symbol of birth
and art, hands and heart. The bead is
strung onto a leather thread and made
into a beautiful necklace. All the mothers
pore on blessing of strength, hope and
courage. The mother promises to wear
the necklace in labor to honor her sisters
and their gift.
As the moon rises in the sky a mother in
Japan pulls out her paints and starts to
gracefully paint a lotus on silk. She
expresses her desires for an easy birth
with colors of white, pink and blue. She
paints red in a corner for good luck and
ends with a spot of yellow, showing her
child’s spirit.
Art is used through out the world to
express a mother’s fears, desires, hopes
“Duet II,” Quilted Birth Art By Sara Dalton.
and messages. For some it is a way to pass
down knowledge through generations; a
way of recording history. For others it is
just a way to express the many changes in
the body. Art opens the creative side of
the mind, allowing her to express the
subconscious. It can even be used to
discover hidden feelings and expectations
in a gentle therapeutic way.
In the Childbirth education method,”
Birthing from within,” Pam England
(www.birthingfromwithin.com) has
uncovered a way to help students learn,
grow and discover childbirth through art.
Try some art today. You might find it
opens new doors.
5
W ORLD T RADITIONS : C ELEBRATING P REGNANCY
B Y K EWAL K. K HALSA
During her pregnancy, a woman is entrusted with a necklace of
Birth Beads, given to her at her Mother Blessing Ceremony. She
wears it as an outward sign of initiation, and its roots are derived
from an African tribal tradition.
Another woman in her ninth month of pregnancy, along with her
husband, is given the honor of opening the ark during Shabbat
services. "Just as the ark opens with ease, allowing us to remove
the Torah readily from its midst, so may the woman's womb
open with ease, allowing us to remove the child readily from
within her," writes Rabbi Cardin.
In a Hindu family, a father parts the hair of his pregnant wife
three times upward from the front to the back, to assure the
ripening of the embryo inside of her. For many Hindi families,
ceremonies may be performed during pregnancy to ensure the
health of the mother and growing child. Along with the parting
of the hair, charms may be used to ward off the evil eye and
witches or demons. These cultural rituals fall into a detailed
series of "life-cycle rituals (samskara, or refinements) that mark
major transitions in the life of the individual.
Countries and oceans apart, these three women have all engaged
in a cultural ritual to celebrate the miracle of their pregnancy.
Rituals have always played a crucial role in society in providing a
sense of balance and safety. One of the most time honored ways
to celebrate the incredible process of pregnancy, and in turn
provide that same sense of safety is through participation in
rituals or traditions. American journalist Marian Edelman Borden
wrote, "Traditions are the always in life, the rituals and customs
that build common memories for children, offer comfort and
stability in good times and in bad, and create a sense of family
identity." (1)
The traditional baby shower has been a favorite American
pregnancy ritual. Although the custom of helping expectant
parents plan for a new baby has been a tradition for centuries,
the origin of the modern baby shower is unknown. There is
evidence that ancient cultures, such as the Egyptians and the
Romans, often bestowed small gifts upon newborn children, or
presented the parents with a hand-made gift after the child was
born. However, baby showers as we know them today were not
common until after World War II - possibly one of the first
manifestations of the baby boom.
Lately, many women have been introduced to a pregnancy ritual
rooted in Native American culture called a Mother Blessing
Ceremony. A Mother Blessing Ceremony is based on an ancient
Navajo ceremony celebrating a woman's transition into
motherhood. According to author Sue Robins, "A Mother
Blessing Ceremony can have many different elements. By
involving the mother-to-be in the planning process, you
empower her to make the ceremony her own." There are rituals
associated with the ceremony, including creating birthing
necklaces and bracelets, hair brushing, foot washing, sage
burning, sharing birth stories, passing on blessings and good
wishes, giving gifts and feasting on potluck fare.
The Ashanti, a tribal group living in Ghana near the West African
coast, also practice a unique pregnancy tradition involving a
carved, wooden figured called an akuaba. Author Peter Herndon
writes: "This figure is carried on the back of an expectant mother
during her pregnancy so that her child will be beautiful, having
the same qualities of ‘beauty’ as those expressed in the carving.
The figures are also used by sterile women who hope by keeping
an akuaba with them, to become pregnant. Little girls often learn
how to take care of children by playing with akuaba dolls.
Sometimes these figures would be decorated with beads or
precious stones, indicating ownership by a woman of wealth."
Perhaps most powerful are the rituals and traditions that we each
individually seek and create during our pregnancies. These
traditions become defining moments in which friends and family
S EE W ORLD T RADITIONS
6
ON
P AGE 19
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
C ELEBRATING
A
N EW K IND
OF
I NTIMACY
B Y L EIGH S TEELE
"I'm telling you: the fat a*s, the farting—it's ridiculous. I am
un-f**kable. And I have never been so horny in my entire life.
That's why you're supposed to be married when you're
pregnant, as somebody is obligated to have sex with you."
A pregnant Miranda on Sex and the City
For pregnant women, envisioning a new kind of intimacy
conjures up a variety of thoughts and responses such as "Hell no,
he's not going anywhere near THAT" or "Will he even be able to
find it?" Sexual intimacy during pregnancy isn't usually a topic
you'll hear discussed casually between friends, doctors, or (god
forbid) your family. However, pregnancy can be the most
intimate time in a couple's life. Like any new experience, it just
takes a little bit of practice, energy, and a whole lot of love.
Does intimacy really matter? Author
Christine S. Leslie states that "Being
intimate is an exchange of life-enhancing
energy and involves an ability to be
vulnerable and a willingness to risk being
honest about what we think, feel, and
need. This kind of exchange usually gives
us a sense of safety, self-worth, comfort,
contentment, and joy." Pregnancy can be
a vulnerable time, but can also be an
insightful, fulfilling, and often healing
experience. It seems fitting that during
pregnancy women engage in healthy
intimacy in order to spread this sense of
safety, self-worth, and joy to their partner
and baby.
growing within me. Knowing that I was in turn transferring that
intimacy and love to her was immensely rewarding.
On the other hand, many women experience the most satisfying
sexual intimacy of their entire relationships during pregnancy by
surrendering to the energy and appeal of their full, growing
bodies. While some women feel constrained by body image
issues, others choose to embrace this special time with
confidence. It should come as no surprise that confidence tends
to be on top of the list of biggest turn-ons for partners. Asking
your partner what they feel is the sexiest or most attractive thing
about your pregnant self can assist greatly in assessing intimate
needs and desires. Ultimately, the key is to experiment and then
to embrace this new kind of intimacy, one that is multiplied by
hormones and emotions all at once.
Hormones, these little miracles of nature,
can make sexual intimacy both a joyful and
literally painful during pregnancy.
According to "Pregnancy and Intimacy," an
article in the online resource
WomensHealthCareTopics.com, most
women are very tired and disinterested in
sex during the first trimester. However,
during the second trimester it is not
uncommon for women's sex drive to come
on strong. This is caused by an increase in
blood flow to the vagina and reproductive
organs, which affects arousal. Increased
body weight and discomfort may result in a
decrease of libido in the third trimester.
For those times in which pregnancy
The happiest, healthiest couples
hormones ramp up your sex drive, these
understand that intimacy comes in many
are quick, tips for great pregnancy sex
forms and is not solely sexual in nature.
Melinda’s Belly Art by Joanna
from ivillage.com:
The definition of intimacy is different for
1. Communicate! Your needs may change
every person, so the key to celebrating
intimacy during pregnancy is good communication. For couples, during pregnancy. Tell your partner what feels good to you now.
an intimate ritual could be eating ice cream together while
2. Experiment. Try different sexual positions that take the
watching a favorite TV show. Maybe intimacy means learning the
weight off your expanding belly. Trying new things has the
art of massage or writing songs for your unborn child. If you are
added benefit of heating up your sex life.
single, perhaps intimacy comes from taking daily quiet time to be
3. Get comfortable. Have plenty of pillows nearby for support,
reflective or by deepening connections with your friends.
and use vaginal lubricant if you need it.
During my pregnancy, some of my most memorable, resounding
intimate moments were those times in which my husband and I 4. Think out of the box. Sex is not just intercourse. You might
walked hand in hand under the desert stars and reminisced about want to massage each other or enjoy mutual masturbation or oral
our decade of years together. Sharing these memories helped to sex, if penetration is no longer comfortable as your belly grows.
strengthen and remind us of that bond of intimacy and love that
S EE A N EW K IND OF I NTIMACY ON P AGE 16
first drew us to each other; the same bond that created the baby
7
P REGNANCIES F ULL
AND A HHS
OF
A CHES
AND
P AINS C AN H AVE P LENTY
OF
O OHS
B Y B ETH K RISTIN O TT
Pregnancy is an incredible, unique time in a woman's life, but for
some it isn't everything they expected. Most of us plan to relish
in the beauty of our rounding bellies and enjoy the smiles and
well wishes given from others. Yet if our changing body begins
to experience problems, we often aren't sure how to respond.
Even if pregnancy deals you difficulty and bed rest, there are still
ways to celebrate the time you and your baby share as one.
Seek support — not just from family and friends, but also talk
to women who have experienced what you are going through. It
is easier to celebrate your pregnancy when you spend time with
others who know what you are experiencing. There is strength
and peace to been gleaned from community. Sidelines is an
organization that provides support to women experiencing
difficult pregnancies. Visit www.sidelines.org to be matched
with someone who will help you celebrate your journey.
Get out the camera — even though you may not feel like it. A
woman on bed rest or suffering through ill health during
pregnancy may not feel like hiring a photographer, but try to
have a family member take some pictures. Documenting those
precious months, even if you're hooked up to hospital monitors,
brings important mementos of your experience. You may not
feel glamorous, but your child will appreciate seeing the pictures
someday.
about recommendations for books that cover unexpected
pregnancy issues. Trimesters are not the same for everyone, find
literature that explores all types of pregnancies.
Get a little bedside pampering — don't be afraid to ask for
some things that make you feel nice from a friend, spouse or
family member. Even on bed rest, a mother-to-be can enjoy a
massage, manicure or pedicure or haircut. Even someone helping
you shave your legs can make you feel like a new woman
afterward. While you may not be able to hit the town, feeling
pampered and pretty can lift the spirits.
Record the heartbeat — to remember the sound your little
one made within you. With improved technology, the heartbeat
we hear during prenatal check-ups now is crystal clear. Use a
tape recorder to capture the miraculous sound forever. You can
also create unique keepsakes with recordable message card or
taking a recorder to a Build-a-Bear, recording the heartbeat, and
then having it put inside a baby bear. Enjoy—it's the sound of
new life.
Enjoy preparing for the baby — you may not be able to go
out and about, but during bed rest there are things you can do to
get excited about the coming child. From knitting to indulging in
some Internet purchases for your little one, don't forget to
celebrate that the trials of pregnancy will one day seem distant
and you will have a new person to cherish. Even if the "getting
there" was rough, you'll feel much better about it if you keep
your "eyes on the prize" and collect what you want before the
baby comes.
Write all about it — even if the experience isn't all sunshine
and daffodils. Journal about this time, the good and bad
included. You'll find that you can still savor special moments
such as feeling those first kicks, and you can express what it feels
like to have to stay off your feet. Writing is a coping method
which helps make room for all the good feelings too. Don't
forget to keep track of measurements, weight gain, cravings and
all those "normal" things that women mark about pregnancies.
Read all about it — inform yourself about what you and baby
are going through as you face things that basic pregnancies texts
don't cover. Put aside some of the popular books for things you
can actually relate to. Search the Internet or ask a nurse or doula
8
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
Introducing
Mary the Midwife
Compassionate, Gentle and Comprehensive
Mary Langlois is a homebirth midwife
that encourages, educates and
empowers women.
Midwifery care includes:
Prenatal, Labor, Birth, Water Birth,
Postpartum, Breastfeeding and
Newborn Care
~Mary has attended hundreds of birthing
women for over 17 years working with eight
licensed midwives and ten internationally
certified midwives. She has assisted
numerous doctors, certified nurse midwives
and nurses in homes, birth centers and
hospitals.
~ Mary meets the specific needs of each
individual birthing woman, from the first
time mother to the mother of many her
clinical expertise, compassion and ability to
listen guides her midwifery care.
Call today to schedule your “free”
initial consultation appointment
(602) 672-1318
[email protected]
~Mary’s personal knowledge
compliments her vast experience. She
has given birth to nine children having
eight homebirths and one birth center
birth with seven very different
midwives providing her care.
Listening to Mothers Guides her Care
Or get to know Mary better by
visiting
www.marythemidwife.com
Meet with Mary and receive a
Free Belly Casting Kit
9
K ANGAROO C ARE
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 1
According to Dr. Ludington, babies who are part of Kangaroo Care
gain weight faster than their non-kangarooed counterparts, and it is
interesting to note that they usually do not lose any of their birth
weight (2). Although tests have been said to be inconclusive—
according to Americanpregnancy.org, Kangaroo Care cannot be proven
to neither help nor hurt the situation—studies have shown that mothers
have thermal synchrony with their baby. The study also concluded that
when the baby was cold, the mother's body temperature would
increase to warm the baby up and vise versa.
Kangaroo care also allows easy access to the breast and skin-to-skin
contact increases milk let-down. Because Kangaroo care allows the
baby to fall into a deep sleep, the baby conserves energy for more
important things such as weight gain and increase in weight means
shorter hospital stay.
Our Intelligence is compelling.
For premature babies, Kangaroo Care is an important option that all
parents should be given. Regardless of the baby's gestational age at birth
or the physical condition, the first minutes and hours of a baby's life are
critical, and early skin-to-skin contact contributes significantly to the
ability to love and trust others throughout one's life. Whether a baby is
premature or born full-term and healthy, the skin-to-skin contact with
a parent is essential in babies’ development.
1. Krisanne Larimer, www.prematurity.org
2. Lisa Albright, 2001 LLL Conferencee Session: Kangaroo Mother Care:
Restoring the Original Paradigm for Infant Care and Breastfeeding
According to a La Leche League 2001 Conference Report on the
discussion of Kangaroo Care, "The neonatal attachment process is easily
disturbed. Separation of the newborn from its mother causes ‘protestdespair behavior,’ which involves stress hormones, the adrenergic
(sympathetic) nervous system, and certain somatic or muscular
behaviors. Once the newborn is restored to its correct habitat (the
mother), heart rate and temperature rises, and stress hormones are
reduced." (2)
Jennifer Weston, local mother, experienced these benefits first-hand
when her daughter, Grace, was born prematurely. "I did kangaroo her
for five hours straight one time. It was wonderful. They changed her
and did her temp and care while she was on my chest, and she barely
woke up. Kangarooing was wonderful. She always slept so well and
stayed so warm and cozy. It made the time I was away from her a little
easier."
Joseph Chilton Pearce, a bestselling author, claims that when mother
and a baby are separated after any type of birth and activations of the
bonding hormone that do not occur within about 45 minutes of birth,
baby is cut off from his mother's nurturing and with none of the
encoded expectancies met, the newborn's adrenals continue to release
steroids in the face of maximum fear and abandonment. The infant
screams for a short time and then silence falls. The damage caused by
separation, Pearce writes, is "massive and past the point of repair."
Like Odent, he believes that our current birth practices are
psychologically crippling to babies, mothers, and society as a whole,
and the evidence in his book Evolution's End: Reclaiming the Potential of
Great Items for Mom and
Baby!
Nursing and Maternity
Products, Nursery
Furniture, Gift Registry,
Events & Classes!
(480) 922-4615 Phone
(480) 991-6952 Fax
10816 N. Scottsdale Rd
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
(One block north of Shea)
Bobbi Sue Jojola, C.D.
Do you work with women, families or
babies? Then you should be advertising in
Arizona Birth Connection! Please contact
our Advertising Coordinator at (602) 2126757 or [email protected] for
more information.
10
DONA Certified Doula (since 1996)
Labor & Delivery Support
(623) 544-6460 Home
(623) 341-5258 Cell
[email protected]
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
10 W AYS
TO
C ELEBRATE P REGNANCY
B Y K EWAL K. K HALSA
1
Belly Casting - Belly Casting is a creative and fun way to
capture the beautiful shape of your pregnancy. The casts
are made of plaster that forms over your pregnant body.
When dried, the plaster creates a three-dimensional
memento of your pregnancy. Many women also enjoy
painting and decorating the cast.
2
Decorate Your Belly - Henna, a plant-based dye, has
been used for thousands of years to decorate pregnant
bodies. Designs are made on the skin using the henna and,
once dried, the dye flakes off to leave a reddish-brown stain
of the design on the skin. This stain lasts one to four weeks.
Be sure to use pure, natural henna and avoid black henna
(which can contain para-phenylendiamine, a chemical
substance). Before decorating a large area of your skin, test
out the henna on a small patch of skin to be sure your body
does not react to it (skin is sometimes more sensitive
during pregnancy).
3
4
Soak Up Support - During pregnancy, it is important to
recognize and enjoy a good support team. Surround
yourself with friends, family, other mothers, or childbirth
professionals that support you in your birth choices.
Pregnancy and motherhood can be a challenging time of
transition and it is vital that you have love, care, and
encouragement.
Get Photographed - Pregnancy photography has become
a popular way to document the experience of pregnancy
for yourself and your children. Some women like to use
professional photographers who are skilled at creating
artful photography to capture stunning pregnancy images.
Others opt for friends or family to take pictures. Some take
a photo monthly to record their growth throughout the
pregnancy.
5
Seek Positivity - A positive outlook has a great influence
on health, well-being, and the experience of life in general.
This is very much the case for pregnancy and birth as well.
Search out positive birth stories and people that support
you in your birth decisions. Locally, there are several
groups, such as the Phoenix Birth Circle, that support and
empower women in their birth choices and motherhood.
6
Express Yourself - Explore ways to express your feelings
and experiences throughout the journey of pregnancy and
motherhood. Drawing, painting, writing, knitting,
dancing, or gardening–all expressions can be both a way to
document the experiences and a way for you to process
what is happening in your life.
7
Exercise - In pregnancy, exercise continues to be an
important element of healthy living. Exercise that is
specifically designed for pregnancy, such as prenatal yoga,
can help prepare your body and mind for labor and delivery.
Movement, such as belly dancing, can bring you more in
touch with your body. Walking daily is an important practice
for keeping the abdominal muscles strong, the lower spine
flexible, and for massaging the digestive organs (which can
get be compressed as the baby grows). Swimming is also a
great (and appealing) way to exercise during pregnancy
because the water helps support the weight of your body.
Avoid exercise that involves bouncing, leaping, excessive
heat, a sudden change of direction, or if it runs the risk of
abdominal injury.
8
Eat Healthy - Healthful, conscious eating is not a luxury in
pregnancy – it is a necessity for both you and your child. In
pregnancy you are the sole source of nutrition for yourself
and for the child that grows inside you. Each day, eat a well
balanced diet that includes protein, dairy, whole grains, fats/
oils (such as butter), fruits and vegetables, salt (to taste), and
water.
9
Be the Guest of Honor at a Mother's Blessing
Celebration - A Mother's Blessing is a celebration of
motherhood and you, the one who is embarking on this
journey. It is a way for women, friends, and family to come
together to support, pamper, and
uplift the mother-to-be.
- One of the most
10 Meditate
important aspects of birth
Emy Porter, Cow Over the Moon
preparation is in training the
focus, intention, and beliefs of the
mind. Our mental patterns and ideas
greatly affect how we birth and how
we raise our children. A great gift you
can give yourself and your child is
meditation, a practice of focusing and
conquering the mind. There are many
paths and approaches. As a mother-tobe, an empowering focus can be to set
your mind to the infinite strength and
beauty of the creative force that is in
you. Feel the wonder of life growing
inside you and remember that you are
one with this creative process, a
p o w e r f ul w o m a n , a m o th e r
becoming.
11
T HE S HAPE
OF A
M OTHER
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 1
nancy. In the later half of pregnancy a
woman's body grows and swells with the burgeoning child. Many find this new bump exciting; even sexy. But often women will have
problems with the adjustment, especially
when the growth is not limited to their bellies. Because as a society we are so focused on
the here and now, it is sometimes difficult to
remember that the stick-thin image of beauty
that rules our runways today is the product of
only the last thirty years. If you watch any of
the old movies from the fifties you will see
that the actresses, even the most famous ones,
are not rail-thin. They are fit and healthy, but
quite curvy.
With the onset of the seventies the trend
shifted to a more unisex look. Women's styles
became straight and boyish and, to accommodate that, the female models did too. The
introduction of ultra-thin models such as
Twiggy Lawson in the late sixties and early
seventies lead to an ideal that has grown thinner and thinner as the years have passed. Today the average 5'10” model is a size four, and
120 pounds—a weight far below the medically recommended healthy level.
Throughout the history of our world there
have been many revolutions that have redefined the face of beauty, but as with most
cycles, the idea has always come back to the
rounded, fertile body. Today's magazines
feature tall slim models who look more like
adolescent girls than women, but the art of
the past tells a different story. Botticelli's
classic painting, The Birth of Venus, features
the goddess of erotic love in the form of the
ideal woman. In the painting she is beautiful,
and like the models of today, tall. But her hips
and belly are rounded and her arms far thicker
than today's ideal. To the right of Venus is a
woman waiting to attend her. She is similarly
shaped and due to a distinct roundness around
her stomach, has been postulated to be pregnant herself. The renowned painter Auguste
Renoir once said "There is enough ugliness in
the world—why should we paint ugly pictures?" However, all of his paintings of
women feature rounded—even chubby—
women with curves on their arms, legs, and
waists.
The standard of beauty used to be the one that
promoted fertility, whether that was a con12
scious or unconscious choice. Today women
are told by their health care providers to make
sure to gain an adequate amount of weight.
This is because in order to have an ideal gestational environment, the body must have
enough fat deposits to draw upon should the
mother go hungry too long. A healthy layer of
fat pads the mother against falls and leads to
lustrous hair and flexible nails. But above all,
it helps the baby to be healthier by never making the body feel it must choose between using nourishment to support the baby and preserving itself. Women who are too thin put
their fertility in jeopardy, sometimes suppressing menstruation altogether. Prolonged
lack of nourishment can strip a woman of her
ability to conceive permanently.
Pregnancy Images and the Media
We live in a great time when society is beginning to accept the pregnant form. Pregnancy
is no longer a time of confinement or something to hide as long as possible. Maternity
clothes show off the new curves and even bare
the belly for the world to see. Pregnant
women do not have to wear the basic equivalent of modified tents; maternity clothes are
fashionable, sexy, and comfortable. Unlike
with the fuller-figured non-pregnant form,
Hollywood has helped to enhance the acceptability of the pregnant body. Stars are flaunting their bellies and giving the rest of the
world permission to do so as well. Even ten
years ago you rarely saw pregnant women
wearing bikinis, especially movie stars. But
now, pictures of pregnant stars flaunting their
changing bodies are a media fixture. And
while this is definitely a step in the right direction, the idea that "thin is in" is still being
promoted through these pregnant stars and
models. The celebrities that we see on magazines and TV all have personal trainers, chefs
and nannies. Their excess weight is airbrushed
away or artfully covered. Many still work out
obsessively and do not eat enough to keep
them and their child at optimal health. What
do their skinny-every-where-but-the belly
body types tell the women who gain weight
all over? Is this the goal we should be striving
for? Is this the image you are striving for?
For many years women have been told to hide
their pregnancy as long as possible, and when
you no longer could, to at least make your
belly as unobtrusive as possible. Today a pregnant belly is the central point in many
women's wardrobes. Rather than hiding their
tummies, women dress it up and show it off.
As with many fashions, there are plenty of
stylish, tummy-baring clothing in size small
and medium. But large and plus size clothing
is harder and harder to find. It seems the fashion industry only wants to celebrate the thin
pregnant form. Is there any less beauty in a
size twenty pregnant body than a size four?
Both bodies have taken on the sensual roundness of pregnancy while they work to create
the miracle that is pregnancy.
As a doula I always ask my clients how they
feel about their bodies. What a joy it was last
week to hear two women of very different
sizes both smile and say, "I love my body!"
One even bared her tummy and showed me
the parts she liked best. One of these women
is rather heavy, and the other quite thin, but
both found the beauty in their pregnancies—
and in their bodies.
Sexuality and Pregnancy Self-Image
Pregnancy need not be an exercise in discomfort; it can transcend that. During pregnancy
many wonderful things happen to your body.
Many women find themselves suddenly having
wonderful, womanly curves that were never
there before. Mothers and fathers alike are
generally a fan of the fuller breasts and
rounder hips that frequently accompany pregnancy. During pregnancy there is an increase
in blood flow, especially to the genitalia; some
women experience their first true orgasm
during pregnancy due to the heightened sensitivity. It can be a time to revel in your womanhood and sexuality.
Due to the intimate nature of pregnancy,
some fathers have trouble separating the two
and out of fear for the baby or fear of the unknown, withdraw sexually from the mother.
There is nothing harder on a woman's selfesteem than feeling that her partner does not
find her attractive. However, Rob Jackson,
LPC, says that, "the vast majority of men are
not challenged by their wives' weight gain or
appearance. Most often, I hear them speak of
fear over accidentally harming the baby or
their spouses during intercourse."
S EE S HAPE
ON
P AGE 13
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
T HE S HAPE
OF A MOTHER
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 12
Unless you are experiencing complications with your pregnancy and
have explicit instructions from your doctor, sex is not only safe, but
beneficial to both partners. The English National Health System (NHS)
suggests that "a loving physical relationship is important for your wellbeing during pregnancy, and sexual intercourse can actually help your
body to prepare for labor." Communication is key. Many fathers find
their partner's developing roundness extremely desirable but fear hurting them. Talk to your partner. You may be surprised at just how sexy
he of the focus of a woman's friends and loved ones and sends it not to
the baby, but to the mother. It highlights the mother as a glorious and
respected person instead of simply a host for the baby.
Reframing the Pregnancy Image
One of the best things you can do to bolster your self-image during
pregnancy is to be as healthy as possible. Not only will you feel better
physically, you will also feel better emotionally because you are helping
both yourself and your baby. Exercise, stretch, walk, whatever feels
best for you. Walking is great exercise. There are also several yoga
studios that offer prenatal yoga. Getting out and getting some exercise
almost everyday will help you feel healthier and more in shape and also
helps when you get to labor. Feeling strong and healthy as you approach
that ninth month will help to stave of the doubts and insecurities that
every woman deals with.
women in our culture need a greater focus on the pregnant woman. A
Mother Blessing is borrowed from the Navajo culture where it is called
a Blessingway. Women gather to celebrate the pregnant woman and
share their hope, desires, and blessings for her birth. Mother Blessings
traditionally include pampering such as foot washing and massage, hair
brushing, and good food. Activities such as belly casting and making
birth necklaces or bracelets are also common. No woman can come
away from a Mother Blessing feeling anything but loved and important.
There is no one right answer. No woman should have to feel unattractive during this exciting and very sensual time. Constant and conscious
effort to see the beauty in your pregnant body will pay off. Spend time
every day talking to your body. Tell it you love what it is doing and the
shape it is morphing into. It may take a while but you will start to believe it. Don't feel stifled by convention. If you think painting your
belly will make you feel better, do it! If you want to wear that teeny
bikini to the pool, please do! If it makes you feel like the beautiful and
sexy woman you are, please indulge. Whatever it takes to keep you
smiling until your angel is born.
To view the many shapes
www.theshapeofamother.com.
of
a
mother,
go
to
http://
Make a conscious effort to learn to love your body. Pregnant curves
are beautiful. From the rounder breasts and hips to the swelling abdomen, a pregnant woman is the image of health and vitality. There are
other advantages too. Pregnancy tends to make a woman's face pinker
due to increased blood volume and gives her a fresh, young look. Fingernails often grow faster and some women find themselves with thick,
lustrous hair for the first time in their lives. One mother-to-be was
having a hard time with the weight she was gaining at a rate she judged
as fast. She shed a tear to her midwife while meeting, about feeling
'gross and fat." Her midwife promptly reminded her that she was creating her child's, her grandchildren's, her great-grandchildren’s etc.,
reproductive organs. The work our bodies are doing to create human
life is hard work. We need to love and celebrate its miraculous feat of
baby-making.
Celebrating the Pregnant Woman and Body
What can you do if your self-esteem is not up to snuff? Bring in reinforcements! Tell your partner you need more compliments. Inform
those who tell you that you are "getting huge" that you don't appreciate
them disparaging your body. Be bold! The fact is people who have not
been pregnant do not understand how these comments or lack of compliments hurt. If you don't tell them, who will? If you are not the one
who is pregnant and want to boost a friend or family member's confidence, shower them with praise. Tell them how beautiful they are
every chance you get. And really mean it. How can a newly pregnant
mother learn to love her body if no one else does?
Consider having a Mother Blessing Ceremony, either instead of a
shower, or in addition to one. So much of pregnancy is focused on the
growing baby. While it is certainly important not to forget that, the
13
S AFER P REGNANCIES , E ASIER B IRTHS …. N ATURALLY !
B Y J ENNY D UBISAR , F AMILY C HIROPRACTOR
Rose Day, mother of five and radiantly pregnant with her sixth,
told me last week, “I wish I had known about Webster three
pregnancies ago!”
Beginning with her third child, Rose would experience painful
sciatica throughout the pregnancy. After discussing her concerns with me at an East Valley
Birth Circle, and within only a couple of adjustments, the pain was gone.
Rose has continued with care, not only to
remain pain-free as her body continues to
grow, but because she knows it is healthy for
the development of her baby too.
The miracle of pregnancy is unlike any other
event in a woman’s life. The hormones, the
excitement, the growth of both mother and
baby… and the affect those changes have on
the body of the mother can affect your pregnancy and birth story in a multitude of ways.
I am passionate about empowering women to
have healthier, safer, easier pregnancies and
births. It is one of the reasons I am part of the
AZ Birth Network. I am a family chiropractor, trained specifically to care for the unique
needs of pregnant mothers by using the Webster Technique. By sharing what I know of
pregnancy and birth, I hope others will find
answers to help them create better births for
themselves too.
Pregnancy and Your Body
How do you know if someone’s pregnancy
could benefit from chiropractic? Consider
this: your central nervous system, housed
within the spine, is the master coordinator of
your body.
It is the pathway through which every single
electrical impulse transports vital information
to every cell, every tissue, every organ and
every system of your body. Misalignments in
the spine and pelvis inhibit these electrical
impulses and interfere with the vital flow of
information.
strains of the pregnancy. Sometimes this leads to pain, sometimes not.
Regardless, during gestation, the fetus is tremendously sensitive
to all incoming information. When that information is delayed,
re-routed, or bypassed, normal function and
normal formation of structures are at a disadvantage. This includes the position of your
baby (which may affect your labor), or even
the development of your baby (which may
affect everyone after birth), such as torticollis.
Labor and Birth
According to Williams Obstetrics, “Any contraction of the pelvic diameters that diminish
the capacity of the pelvis can create dystocia
(difficulty) in labor.”
The Webster Technique, by balancing out the
pelvic area, facilitates the symmetrical growth
of the uterus, supports the increased weightbearing needs of the pelvic area, and reduces
constraint of the muscles and ligaments.
Therefore, births are more likely to proceed
as nature intended them because the body is
able to optimally transition through the stages.
How it works
The Webster Technique is a specific, gentle
chiropractic analysis and adjustment for pregnant mothers.
“The Webster Technique reduces the interference to the nervous system, balances out pelvic muscles and ligaments which in turn removes torsion to the uterus. (It) allows the
baby to get into the best possible position for
birth,” said Jeanne Ohm, executive coordinator of the Philadelphia-based International
Chiropractic Pediatric Association, that certifies chiropractors on the technique.
A gentle adjustment or two is made to the
pelvic area called the sacrum. Then gentle
pressure is applied to loosen the round ligaPainted Birth Art by Shannan Fleet. ments on either side of the mother’s lower
abdomen. These ligaments suspend the uterus
Due to a lifetime of physical, chemical and emotional stresses on within the pelvis. Misalignments may put enough tension on
our bodies, the spine and pelvic area may become compromised. these ligaments to cause torsion or twisting of the uterus, a conWhen we become pregnant, these structures are then less able to
appropriately support and grow with the increasing demands and
S EE C HIROPRACTIC ON P AGE 16
14
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
K AHLAN L ORRAINE P ATEL ’ S B IRTH S TORY
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 3
I have to get up, this is not going to work.
What's wrong?
Too much pressure.
Ok, what do you want?
I don't know…..
I start to loose my cool…..
Deep breathe…..
Um, can you fill the bath again.
Sure.
I rock and lean and start to blow harder through
the next surges, not
sure how long I have stood there.
I wonder what time it is, but I cannot be bothered
to look.
Ok, it is ready.
and make this go away and get my baby….
Please be over soon, I am not sure how much
longer I can do this…..
My throat hurts, I am thirsty, I am done, can I
stop?…….
Try sitting with your back against the tub and
your legs out to shorten the length…..
Oh, no way, this is killing me….
Why can't I get comfortable….
Please, make this stop already, I am done…
Baby, please come to me….
All I feel is myself, where are you, please come to
me!
Do you want to try my birthing stool, it is like a
seat….
I know what it is, sure…
Ahhh, this is better, weightlessness, warmth,
surge.
Tape back on.
Ramona brings it, it is wood…..
Can it go in the bath? I do not ask, but willing
accept it….
Call Wendi.
OK.
Ahh, this does feel a bit better…
OOOOOOO, AHHHHH, OOOOOO,
AHHHHHHH……
Handles are underneath for me to pull on.
I know I am loud, I hope Abi is ok hearing me and
not scared.
Where is she?
I am not sure how far I am, I feel so much
pressure.
Like you have to push?
I have been slowly.
Ok, good.
Can you check how far I am?
Sure.
Ooooooo, ahhhhhh, oooooo, ahhhhhh…..
Ok, the bag is bulging and not allowing babies
head to come down yet.
Can you break it? What will happen?
You may just be able to push it out in a few more
pushes.
Please break it.
Ok….. surge, can you please wait?
Sure.
SLAM!!!!!!!
Water bag is broken, should I have done that, was
that the right choice?
If I had balls, they would surely be kicked.
OOOOOOO, AHHHH, OOOO…….
Why is it not coming, I think I feel it, but it is just
me…..
I reach down between my legs…..
I am starting to lose it… calm down, breathe,
relax….
Tape is off, now this is serious.
I cannot get comfortable, just like for Abi, I must
be close.
Can I do this, am I doing this?
Can this be over….. I have to do this to be over
I jump off the stool, my forehead pushed into the
cool surface of the bathtub….
Come baby, come out!!!!!!!!!
I reach down again to feel myself, I am surprised
to feel something, not sure what it is.
Is this the head.
Yes it is…..
It feels swishy, like tissue, soft and warm…..
Ok, baby, shhhhh, come to me…..
Shhhhhhhh….
I feel myself slowly ease the head out, slowly,
calming myself from within.
I feel my perineum stretch, burn, stretch burn,
breathe…..
Baby, oh come to me, come to me….
Slowly….. breathe…..
Get Abi. I glance at her face, smile at her serious
repose.
Slowly, slowly, breathe….
Oh HELP!
We are right here, the head is almost out……
I feel it out….
Where is the body, come out, I am done
S EE B IRTH S TORY
ON
P AGE 19
15
A N EW K IND
OF
I NTIMACY
C HIROPRACTIC
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 7
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 14
5. Stay sexually connected. Making intimacy a priority during
pregnancy not only keeps you close now, but will also help
you down the road as you both navigate the sometimes
bumpy waters of new parenthood.
dition called intrauterine constraint. Intrauterine constraint may
not only prevent a baby from achieving the best possible birth
position, but may contribute to longer and/or more painful labors, and increasing the use of medical interventions in birth.
Sexual intimacy and closeness has another far-reaching benefit
that many couples swear by—the ability to stimulate the
onset of labor. In "Laurie's Thoughts on Childbirth", Laurie
Morgan explains that "there are numerous benefits, including
but not limited to the fact that the prostaglandin in semen
ripens the cervix and that nipple stimulation encourages the
production of a natural amount of oxytocin." What other
time in your life can you have such a creative excuse for some
good old-fashioned fooling around? Partners of the world are
cheering!
Each chiropractic session lasts about ten to 15 minutes, with
moms noticing the changes in 30 minutes to one hour after the
adjustment. In my experience, babies get very active during or
soon after an adjustment. They simply have more room to move!
The unique intimacy that you create during pregnancy can
only help to establish a more loving and nurturing
environment for yourself, your partner, and your child.
Intimacy reminds us that we are truly alive, connected to an
energy larger and more powerful than ourselves.
Interestingly, many of us will draw upon this energy during
labor. Pregnancy, whether you feel sexy or silly, fabulous or
flabby, is the perfect way to celebrate the essence of life.
After all, isn't there a little bit of the fat-ass, farting Miranda
in all of us that deserves to experience some raw, true
intimacy?
Says Benah, mother of 18-month-old Finn and on bedrest for five
weeks with baby number two, “the regular adjustments have been
crucial in helping to manage the soreness, stiffness and physical
fatigue that come with such limited physical activity. I know I
probably would have made it through this pregnancy without chiropractic, but I shudder to think how much more uncomfortable
and unpleasant it could have been.”
To find out more, please visit the International Chiropractic Pediatric
Association website, www.icpa4kids.org. Dr. Jenny can be reached at Living Inline, 480-704-2787, or [email protected].
References:
http://www.mountainpridemedia.org/oitm/issues/1999/feb99/
hwfaith.htm
WomensHealthCareTopics.com
http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/psex/0,,p85v,00.html
http://www.compleatmother.com/articles2/childbirth/castor_oil.shtml
16
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
F ULFILLED A FTER I NFERTILITY
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 3
but it was as though everything else was background noise. I
couldn’t wrap my mind around anything besides the word
“pregnant.” Two weeks later, the suspicions from my high hormone levels were confirmed and our joy was doubled. I was carrying twins.
The pregnancy proceeded beautifully without even a tinge of
morning sickness. I delighted in every inch my belly grew and
every kick I felt. And then came another day no one ever plans
for. I went into active labor at 27 weeks. I spent one night that I
barely remember at the hospital closest to my home, praying to
keep my babies in, before I was flown to Banner Good Samaritan
Hospital, which specializes in high risk and multiple births.
Suddenly everything I had read about pregnancy seemed obsolete. I was to spend the rest of my pregnancy in a hospital bed
with magnesium sulfate coursing through my veins. Amazingly,
six contraction-filled weeks passed before my incredible little
two-some entered the world at 33 weeks. When I took them
home — Kayleigh at 12 days old and Connor on the 18th day —
I was finally at peace.
It was 18 months later, an average Sunday, when my cozy little
world was turned around again. I had been falling asleep earlier
than usual and just feeling a little “off.” Rich and I joked that it
was just like when I was pregnant. Except that wasn’t possible
… right? After about a week of subtle hints from my body, I
bought a test. I just needed to put the impossible notion out of
my mind. There it was, that dark pink line — pregnant. Doctors
and nurses who had cared for me the first time around just
shrugged and smiled. These things can happen when you least
expect it, they said.
While I never planned to have three babies in diapers, and at one
time I wasn’t sure I’d be able to conceive a baby at all, I consider
my family incredibly blessed. Shane has filled a space in our
hearts that we didn’t even know we had. He’s a special gift in
our lives, and while some may think another baby would just add
to the chaos, my little miracle seems to bring a new sense of balance to the family. I have wondered from time to time if he was
conceived on that 1 percent chance, or have some of the hindrances to our fertility actually been overcome? It doesn’t matter, though. I really don’t need to question how he came to be.
He was simply meant to be.
17
First Person: 2007 Race for the Cure
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 2
away from the crazy ladies?). And after
we walked we made sure to hit all the
booths for free stuff. After the walk (both
up- and then again down-stream) some of
went to eat lunch at Macayo’s. After that
the day was a blur. I had a major tummy
ache. It had to be major—I couldn’t even
drink the margarita I had ordered!
···
A year went by. So much had happened. I
had been asked to write about our experience as the Arizona Birth Network Team.
But right after, one of my own kids had a
health crisis of a different sort. That was
when I got to feel the love of this group of
women so personally. We were fed, my
other children were cared for, and more
walks for causes like epilepsy and brain
tumor research were participated in. I had
completely forgotten I was going to write
a few words about the walk. About how
inspiring it was to see all the people walking for a cure. About how sobering it was
to see all the people who had survived or
were hoping to. And about Kristan
Landry (who I met at a Birth Circle and
had admired for as long as I’d known her
and not just because she was going to help
make driving a mini-van look cool). But
instead of writing about Kristan Landry I
was accepting a gift from her. She put
together one of the coolest care packages
for my son when he was in the hospital.
My son started healing. Kristan’s hair
grew back (and is lovely!) and her healthrelated updates included triumphant songs
from Rocky movies. Babies were born.
Babies were conceived. Others were diagnosed with breast cancer. Maisha’s Auntie
Cynthia was going to be wearing a pink
shirt this year.
We started getting reminders from Maisha and her co-captain, Jeanette LeBlanc,
about the 2007 Susan G. Komen Race for
the Cure. We were making plans. This
year we wouldn’t be late. We wouldn’t
need to walk upstream. We had it all figured out. And we had Kristan’s cell
phone number! We just had not anticipated the parking problems. And we
thought that Kristan was over thinking we
were nuts and would actually answer her
damn cell phone! This year the walk
changed locations slightly and the idea of
walking upstream to look for her was
impossible. Plus we decided that maybe
we should take a hint and not stalk her so
much.
thia’s, her son and two of her grandchildren. Our little family was beginning to
grow—this year we had 39 walkers and
raised $2,481! We walked, we laughed,
we made inappropriate and tasteless jokes
regularly. Did I mention that we even
managed to find Kristan again this year
regardless of how hard she tried to ditch
us again!
Some of us carried on our little party after
the walk (much less exhausting this year).
We went to a little hole in the wall,
Southern-style (with grits!) restaurant
named Susan’s Diner. We probably took
up a third of the place. And we started
making plans for next year! I am dropping
hints like crazy for a Bedazzler™ this year
for some holiday/birthday/just-because
gift and wouldn’t it be great to be sparkly
for next year’s Race for the Cure? We’ll
implant a GPS device in Kristan’s sneakers so she won’t be able to ditch us again,
but we’ll also be there even earlier still
(and I am planning to write the planning
committee about making the route walkable in reverse just in case).
Editor’s Note: Watch the ABN’s website for
information about joining our team for the
2008 Race for the Cure.
Our group of ABN walkers also included
some law school buddies of Auntie Cyn-
Supported Birth of Arizona
*New* - Water Birth Tub Rentals,
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Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum Care,
Referrals and So Much More!
Call, email or visit our website today for
more information and to schedule your
water birth tub rental today!
www.SupportedBirthAZ.com
(623) 547-0980
18
[email protected]
(623) 547-0980
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION
K AHLAN ’ S B IRTH S TORY
W ORLD T RADITIONS
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 15
C ONTINUED F ROM P AGE 6
pushing… please come out!
Push, Stace, push…..
Oh g-d, come out…… PUSH……..
I grab the baby and it is on my chest…..
HI BABY!
Abi, look, here is our baby…..
Oh, HI BABY!!!!!! Abi is it is girl?
I steal a glance at Amit, and feel rapture, relief,
ecstasy….
I did it, holy crap!
I hear a dull cry, whimper, strong cry….
Is she ok?
Yup, pink, she looks great…….
Hi baby, you must be cold, look Abi, you're a big
sister!!!!!!!
The cord stops pulsing, do you want to cut it with
dada?
No, thanks.
Amit asks if I want to help, I say no and hold my
baby.
Clamp, cut, wahhhhhhh!
Yeah, I know baby, the source of which you knew
life is gone, and now you will know me more.
Can you push it out on the next contraction?
Ok, I push….. nothing.
I am shivering, so is the baby, sopping wet bloody
towel on us, I want to get up. I feel gross. Can we
get up and move to the bed?
Someone takes the baby, Amit did.
I hobble to the bed, these gross sheets again, they
look like a Pepto Bismol bottle blew up on the
sheets,
or hot magenta pink from 5th grade.
Ok, this damn placenta is still in me… come out!
I push, g-d is there a twin in there?
Holy crap, it comes out as big as the baby!!!!!
Ah, I feel relief.
You lost a lot of blood, nothing to be too
concerned over, but enough.
How do you feel?
Like I just had a baby.
Arizona Birth Connection welcomes reader submissions of birth stories, articles, poetry,
birth art and photography. Send your inquiry to [email protected].
show their love and support for the child
they've yet to meet. Traditions feed our
souls, heal our hearts, and connect us to
the circle of life. Whether performed in
private, or in the company of others,
rituals and traditions are powerful ways
to celebrate, evoking the mystery, awe
and holiness of such a divine experience
as pregnancy.
References:
(1). Parenting Magazine, May 1992.
http://www.childbirthsolutions.com/
articles/pregnancy/birthrituals/index.php
http://www.parkridgecenter.org/
Page122.html
www.birthdayexpress.com
http://www.jewishfamily.com/jc/
lifecycle/making_pregnancy.phtml
http://hinduism.about.com/od /basics/a/
rites_rituals_3.htm
http://www.cwhn.ca/network-reseau/41/4-1pg2.html
http://www.yale.edu/ynhti/curriculum/
units/1991/2/91.02.04.x.html
http://www.unification.net/ws/
theme121.htm
19
A RIZONA B IRTH
C ONNECTION
B ROUGHT TO YOU B Y
T HE A RIZONA B IRTH N ETWORK
P.O. Box 5857
Phoenix, AZ 85010-5857
Phone: (602) 212 - 6757
Email: [email protected]
O DE
TO A
H OME B IRTH
B Y N ARSINGH K AUR K HALSA
I wipe my face as the labor contractions
move on
Rolling over me, guiding me to the next
place
I breathe in the air of my home
I open my eyes and look around
Home I am
Home I am
My Midwife wipes the tears of contractions off my face
I move too and froe
My doula pushes on my back
I open my eyes again and there is my soul
mate
looking in my eyes, feeling the labor
waves with me
our child is on it's way down the birth
canal
Home I am
Home I am
Riding what current of Labor
I push into a squat
Here she comes
so beautiful, so pink
into the arms of my soul mate
Home We are
Home We are
20
M ESSAGE
FROM THE
D IRECTORS
The Arizona Birth Network began in a small
living room in Central Phoenix almost three
and a half years ago. We had very humble
goals for our newly formed birth circle,
hoping for at least five people to attend.
That night we were amazed as more than 20
women crowded into that small room – and
we began to see that there was a need and a
desire for such an organization to exist.
We have grown to include four monthly
birth circle meetings across the Valley, a
doula networking group, an active online
discussion group and this newsletter. It has
been a journey of hard work and dedication.
This month our efforts were rewarded
when we found out that we have finally
received our official 501(c)3 non-profit
designation as a federal tax-exempt organization. This means that all donations made
to the Arizona Birth Network since its in-
corporation in April 2005 are retroactively
tax deductible. We are thrilled to finally
have this designation, as we anticipate it will
greatly assist us in our fundraising efforts.
2007 has been a big year for the ABN, with
the formation of a completely new Board of
Directors and volunteer team. With new
faces comes new energy, and as we move
toward 2008 we are excited about taking
our organization in a direction of growth
and expansion, with improved services,
fantastic special events and the same vital
support and education that we have always
strived to provide to the local birthing community.
As always, we welcome your input, support
and participation. If you would like to volunteer with the Arizona Birth Network, feel
free to contact us at (602) 212-6757.
ARIZONA BIRTH CONNECTION