1. family and parenting
2. eldercare

April 2015
Beloit Regional Hospice
655 Third St Ste. 200, Beloit, WI 53511
877-363-7421
Caregiver Assistance News
“C a r i n g
f o r
y o u … c a r i n g
f o r
o t h e r s ”
Resolving Disputes—Communication When Providing Care
When someone has a chronic illness,
you sometimes are called upon to help
them make important life decisions
before their illness or condition reaches
the crisis stage. It is important to do
this while the person in your care can
still be involved—before he or she may
be too sick to participate in the choices
that impact his or her life. People often
put off making important choices until
it’s too late because they don’t know
how to bring up difficult issues for
discussion.
Adapted from The Comfort of Home: Caregiver Series, © 2015 CareTrust Publications. www.comfortofhome.com
Bringing up Tough Issues
Available choices should:
➢➢ Be positive.
➢➢ Be stated accurately and be as
informed as possible.
➢➢ Take into account important
cultural, religious, or family
values.
➢➢ Include key individuals’
concerns.
How to Reach a Decision
First, be informed about the options.
After assessing the situation, call
community, hospital, legal or hospice
resources to find out all of the possible
options. Next, approach the family
and the person in your care with those
options and help guide them to a
decision.
• Present the decision to be
made in new ways. Sometimes
people see a choice that is
difficult as the wrong choice.
Remind them it may be difficult,
but not wrong, and there may be
other choices.
• Present the decision to
everyone involved. Don’t
leave out key family and health
representatives.
• Be sure the older adult is
involved in the discussion.
The decisions affect her life most
of all and you need to respect
her dignity.
• If needed, call in extra help
such as a geriatric care manager.
Sometimes an expert or an
additional go-between is needed.
Car eg i ver Assistanc e N e ws l e tte r
April 2015
Handling Disagreements
Difficulty can arise when family members disagree with one another on what
course of action to take. Here is how to handle those disagreements:
• Find common ground. Emphasize the ways that the family does agree.
• Respect each other’s opinions.
• Respect the right to remain silent. Some family members will not
want to express opinions or make decisions and that’s okay too.
What is Your Role?
1. To ask, “Whose decision is it?”
2. Be a translator or go-between of people’s opinions.
3. Be an advocate. You are on the same side as the person in your care.
Remember, the decision should respect the wishes of the person who is
chronically ill.
Adapted with permission from a presentation by Mark A. Edinberg, PhD, psychologist and author of “Talking with Your Aging Parents.”
For Effective Communication
Whether with our own family, or in a professional caregiver relationship,
we need skills to communicate effectively.
1. Assess the situation. Listen to every member of the family to figure
out what the issue really is. Look for meaning and emotions behind
what is being said.
2. Let them know you understand. You can share their feelings
without getting overwhelmed by their concerns.
3. Try to be a reporter, not a judge. Instead of saying, “It is wrong for
you to smoke and you are hurting yourself,” try, “I notice that you are
having trouble breathing and it’s getting worse from smoking.”
2
© 2015 CareTrust Publications
4. Maintain personal balance. Allow yourself time to decompress and
have a separate life with your own activities and down time. Find people
you can confide in when you are puzzled or overwhelmed. Join a support
group if you feel isolated.
5. Avoid guilt, depression, and judgments. You can grieve, feel
frustrated or overwhelmed, and know these are normal feelings.
Accept the tough outcomes and still feel good that you gave it your
best.
Car eg i ver Assistanc e N e ws l e tte r
April 2015
r
Keeping a Lid on Ange
f—
el
rs
ou
Y
of
e
ar
C
Taking
heart
her stress is associated with
Hig
up.
go
ls
leve
ess
str
ls,
fai
When communication
. Ask
more severe diabetes symptoms
attacks, high blood pressure, and
er triggers:
p reduce stress and avoid ang
yourself these questions to hel
tles and
t really important? Pick your bat
✔✔ Is what I am arguing abou
let the small stuff go.
king things
nts from the past that are ma
✔✔ Am I storing up resentme
st
on the topic—don’t bring pa
ay
St
n?
tio
sa
ver
con
s
thi
in
seem worse
sion.
issues into the current discus
d to
your boundaries. You don’t nee
p
kee
and
ite
pol
Be
lly.
na
so
✔✔ Don’t take it per
’t like what someone is saying.
get angry just because you don
Resource for You
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
www.naela.org
Search to find an elder law attorney in your area.
National Association of Geriatric Care Managers
www.caremanager.org
Provides a list of care managers in your state.
Live Life Laughing!
People say the world is full of apathy, but
so what?
Inspiration
One definition of insanity is to
believe that you can keep on doing
what you’ve been doing and get
different results.
Zig Ziglar
Don’t Fall – Be Safe
© 2015 CareTrust Publications
When in public buildings,
stay on carpeted runners.
Many public buildings have
marble or other surfaces that
may become very slippery.
3
Our Purpose
To provide caregivers with critical
information enabling them to do their job
with confidence, pride, and competence.
Ordering Info
From the publishers of
Caregiver Series
available from…
CareTrust Publications LLC
PO Box 10283, Portland, OR 97296
800-565-1533
or www.comfortofhome.com
Comments and suggestions welcome.
©2015 CareTrust Publications LLC.
All rights reserved. Reproduction of any
component of this publication is forbidden
without a license from the publisher.
Some content in this publication is excerpted
from The Comfort of Home: Caregivers Series.
It is for informational use and not health advice.
It is not meant to replace medical care but to
supplement it. The publisher assumes no
liability with respect to the accuracy,
completeness or application of information
presented or the reader’s misunderstanding
of the text.
Safety Tips—Getting There Safe & Sound
Do you think that the person in your care may be a high risk driver?
If driving seems it is no longer a safe way to get around, don’t worry.
There is a network of transportation services, public and private, that
will pick up the disabled and the elderly at their homes.
Community transportation services may be provided by:
★★ home health care agencies
★★ religious organizations
★★ the local American Red Cross
★★ the Area Agency on Aging
★★ local public transportation
companies
NOTE
Many states require transportation to necessary medical care for
Medicaid recipients. Check with your local Medicaid office to see if
you qualify.
N e x t I ss u e…B ac k C ar e – Saf e t y F irst, Don’ t G e t H u rt!
Resolving Disputes—Communication When Providing Care—April 2015
Caregiver Assistance News
“C
a r i n g
f o r
y o u
…
Q u i ck
c a r i n g
f o r
o t h e r s
”
Q u i z
1. It is possible to understand and share how someone feels without being overwhelmed by them or their concerns.
TF
2. Sometimes you have to “read between the lines” and look for meaning and emotion
behind what is being said when you want to better understand someone.
TF
3. To be a better caregiver I need to take care of me too.
TF
4. There is no real way to effectively set boundaries when communicating with
someone you are caring for.
TF
5. It is best to wait until the senior is very ill before discussing what choices might
be the best for the future.
TF
6. All family members must express their opinions.
TF
7. There is no need to involve the older adult in the decision or to respect his or
her wishes.
TF
8. When making an important decision concerning a person with a chronic illness,
sometimes extra help is needed such as the expert assistance of a geriatric care
manager.
TF
9. My role as caregiver is to be an advocate for the person in my care and consider
his or her best interests.
TF
10. It is important to take into account important cultural, religious or family values of
the person in your care when guiding an important decision concerning her life.
TF
© 2015 CareTrust Publications
Name _______________________________________________________________________
Signature _____________________________________ Date _________________________
KEY: 1. T; 2. T; 3. T; 4. F; 5. F; 6. F; 7. F; 8. T; 9. T; 10. T
Sometimes communication is made more difficult by the simple fact that the
senior is hard of hearing. Make sure your face is in the light so that your lips
and facial expressions can be seen. Read the issue and answer True or False to
the questions below.