Business Book Review™ ™ usiness vie Re w Book We Select and Review Only the Best Business Books You Should Read. B ©1989 Harper & Row ISBN 0-06-015669-4 B Sonya Hamlin ™ The Real Key to Job Success Book vie Re w How to Talk So People Listen usiness Volume 6, Number 3 • Copyright ©2000 Corporate Support Systems • All Rights Reserved Book Cover Not Available Reviewed by Lydia Morris Brown Chapter 1: What’s the Problem? Why We Don’t Communicate Well in the Workplace (20 pages) We don’t communicate well because we learn not to. At an early age, our parents move us from “Me. I want. I need,” through a socialization process that edits the progression from feelings to action so completely that we become extremely accomplished in deception, denial, and accommodation, denying our natural expression in order to receive affirmation, affection, approval, acceptance, and recognition. The gratification of these primary needs is also what motivates us at the workplace. The job, where we hope for the biggest returns on our personal investment in these primary needs, is the very place where we are the most constrained in our communication. Therefore, we adjust our communication behavior to accommodate these needs as they are manifested in others and ourselves. Additionally, these needs work in specific ways in the three basic work personalities, which operate to further define who we are and what we need on the job: 1. Achievers are those who are internally motivated and who set high standards for themselves, their primary motivation is accomplishment, e.g., entrepreneurs. Business Book Review™ Vol. 6, No. 3 • Copyright © 2000 Corporate Support Systems, Inc. • All Rights Reserved How to Talk So People Listen 2. Affiliators are motivated by the need to belong and to be well treated by others. 3. Influencers are motivated by power and influence, either personalized power/influence or socialized/institutional power and influence. Achievers are the majority in the workplace; therefore, the key to better communication is for achievers to recognize and understand the skills and behaviors of the minority (Affiliators and Influencers) when developing strategies for any encounter. Chapter 2: The Basics of Communicating: Why and How People Listen (27 pages) Truly effective communication requires the active participation of the listener as well as the teller. The challenge is to motivate the listener to actually want to listen. People will listen if it’s in their self-interest, because of who’s doing the telling, and/or because of how the information is being told. The way we’ve been conditioned to listen, however, has been influenced by the evolution of television as the primary method by which we transmit and receive information. News stories are short; time is compressed, words are reinforced by pictures, live action, and sophisticated graphics; the person presenting the information is downplayed; and there is a seamless flow of words (made possible by the TelePrompTer). Consequently, the listening public has become passive and inattentive; it lacks imagination (the images are provided), feeds on sensationalism, is able to veto, by remote control, anything it doesn’t like, and expects commercial breaks every 10 minutes or so. This slick “quick-fix” has supplanted the slower, in-depth learning systems that have been in place since the beginning of time. Understanding why and how we listen is vital when planning a communication strategy. Chapter 3: Getting Ready to Communicate: Fore-Thought for Strategies (30 pages) Improvised “seat-of-the-pants” communication usually falls short of the desired effect; no matter what the milieu , one-on-one with the boss, a client, or a staff member; a presentation to a large audience; or a meeting with a few Sonya Hamlin participants, direct, organized strategy (“Fore-Thought”) is the most viable path to take. Fore-Thought is the analysis of a presentation situation before anything is said or done. The Fore-Thought chart can be used by those being summoned (the “They” column) to the meeting or presentation, and serves as a purposeful method for considering objective goals, emotional needs, and probable expectations. Chapter 4: Structuring and Organizing Business Encounters (18 pages) Crucial considerations include deciding: (1) what’s to be accomplished; (2) the amount of material that can be effectively covered; (3) who else needs to be involved in the planning; (4) if the time is right for your subject matter; and (5) the length of the meeting. Taking into account the day and time of the proposed encounter, distractions, work habits, the need for follow-up, and the emotional impact of the meeting location will garner optimum receptivity and focus from your audience. In addition, how you go about getting on the calendars of those you wish to meet with must allow for work circumstances and your relationship with the intended participants. No matter how you choose to factor in these various scheduling considerations, flexibility and sensitivity must be the key ingredients. Chapter 5: Designing Presentations: What Captures Attention and Understanding (23 pages) Because the human mind requires order and logic to absorb information and formulate conclusions, a chronological checklist of the contents of your presentation is a useful organizing tool. After the presentation is designed, consider explicit, logical, and clear visuals for greater persuasion, and “leave-behind” materials for further consideration. This content design process can be used to plan any type of presentation, including sales pitches, requests to the boss, or the reprimand of an employee. Chapter 6: Close Encounters: One-on-One (23 pages) A one-on-one encounter progresses through Openers, Substance, Special Issues, and Closure. The function Business Book Review™ Vol. 6, No. 3 • Copyright © 2000 Corporate Support Systems, Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 2 How to Talk So People Listen of each of these components determines the kind of communication needed. 1. Openers warm the environment and help the recipient of the message feel more comfortable. Additionally, they buy time for each person to evaluate the attitude of the other, and to then use that information within the context of the encounter. 2. Substance: Motivation, structure, and design are as important here as in a presentation to a large audience. Impromptu visuals (arranging objects on the desk or simple drawings) and “leave behind” materials can also be of value. 3. Special Issues such as criticism, discovering the truth, and dealing with anger are particularly sensitive areas that need special attention when they surface in an encounter. 4. Closure is often mishandled or simply forgotten, even though it is critical to the success of the encounter. Each party must leave the meeting knowing exactly what happened and what each can expect from the other. How well each party communicates during the encounter is dependent upon how well these components have been addressed. Chapter 7: Presentations: How to Make Memorable Speeches (46 pages) When planning your presentation, create a portrait of the audience that includes age and sex, professional and educational levels, and ethnic differences. Take into consideration why your audience is there: coercion; interest in the speaker or the subject; office or industry politics; confrontation, etc. Use this information to determine what role you need to play (sharer/guide, inspirer, realist), and what you need to give your audience. Your presentation should contain neither more nor less than what they need to know. To ensure optimal contact, avoid “reading” your material, an extemporaneous presentation from succinct outlines and notes will effectively make your presence felt. An opening that establishes the theme in a way that lets the audience know why they should bother to listen will Sonya Hamlin capture their attention, and actively involving them in the presentation will sustain it. How your audience feels, passive, disenfranchised, anonymous, competitive, put upon, manipulated, resistant, threatened (feelings associated with why they’re there, who they are, and what they need), as well as their physical comfort or discomfort, will affect their receptivity to your presentation. Chapter 8: The Art of Being Questioned: The Audience or the Boss Vs. You (34 pages) One of humankind’s most threatening experiences is to be the object of questioning. You can lessen your feelings of apprehension by understanding that in any Q&A interactions, the information requested is yours to give as you choose and how you choose. Handling an audience question-and-answer period requires understanding what your audience wants, hearing exactly what is being asked, and thinking before answering. When in a Q&A session with the boss, you must address your fear that the situation gives you no real choices about how you’ll react or what you’ll say. Plan to be helpful and constructive, rather than evasive and defensive, by being prepared to answer all questions. Chapter 9: Meetings: Leading and Participating Effectively (35 pages) Meetings are extremely valuable to the workplace, but usually fall short of what they could accomplish. Group interaction is difficult and requires concerted effort to make it work well; therefore, everyone must strive to listen, support, and disagree constructively. Recognize and take into account predictable behavior patterns; build unity by allowing everyone to participate in some phase of the planning; organize your presentation just as thoroughly as you would for a large audience or a one-on-one encounter. Within the context of the meeting, the central figure should lead rather than take over, and the participants should come prepared to fully participate. Chapter 10: The Last Word (2 pages) Effective communication must first reflect the audience, then connect with and include them, otherwise the message will go unheard. Business Book Review™ Vol. 6, No. 3 • Copyright © 2000 Corporate Support Systems, Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 3 How to Talk So People Listen Sonya Hamlin A Note to Our Readers We at BBR encourage our readers to purchase the business books we review. BBR Reviews are intended as a service to busy professionals, as we recommend only those books that are worth your time to read in their entirety. We apply stringent criteria in selecting only the best business books, and in that selection process, strive to help you make informed book-purchasing decisions. Business Book Review™ is a service of Business Book Review, LLC For more information about BBR, past library of book reviews, or to provide us feedback, visit our Web site. Business Book Review, LLC 1549 Clairmont Road, Suite 205 Decatur, GA 30033 Copyright © 2001 Business Book Review, LLC • All Rights Reserved No copies may be made of this review unless appropriate license has been granted. ISSN 0741-8132 To subscribe, contact us at: www.BusinessBookReview.com Business Book Review™ Vol. 6, No. 3 • Copyright © 2000 Corporate Support Systems, Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 4