June 2012 Newsletter A newsletter for educating, developing, and understanding young minds Magic Rocks How to help children feel good about themselves Here’s a game that requires only two things: some open floor space and a good imagination. Here are some simple ideas parents can use to help children feel good about themselves. • Have confidence in your child. Trust in him to learn from his mistakes and to outgrow aggravating habits he may pick up as he grows. He won’t always slam the door or leave his shoes in the middle of the room. • Pay more attention to her strengths than to her shortcomings. You’ll find that you’ll see more of whichever behavior you focus on most. So, thank him when he closes the door quietly. • Be alert to and encourage your child’s natural talents. Have patience with him in the areas in which he doesn’t excel. If he is good at printing, ask him to print a poster for the refrigerator door. If he has trouble with numbers, tell him you’ll help him with his homework. • Try to give him the benefit of the doubt when you find your confidence in him lacking. After all, wouldn’t you like him to have the same kind of confidence in you? Everyone, children and adults alike, begins by crouching down on the floor, curled up in a small ball, face hidden. Each person becomes a “Magic Rock.” When everyone is in the “rock” position, chant the magic words: “Magic rocks, magic rocks, turn into a ___________. Fill in the blank with your choice of animal, insect, sea creature, machine or whatever. As the last work is spoken, everyone becomes that object or animal. They slither, crawl, scamper, hop, flap, roll, run or whatever action is necessary to act the part to the best of their ability Don’t forget sounds. Whether real or imagined, each thing should make its own noise. After about 30 seconds, the leader calls, “Magic Rocks!” and everyone become a rock again. Each player can take a turn being leader and filling in the blank. Repeat the entire process as many times as you like or have time for. This game can be a great way for children to experience improvisation at an early, wonderfully creative time in their lives. By taking control of the last two or three choices, you can have the “Magic Rocks” turn into quiet things. That might be a snoring bear, a purring kitten, or a lazy turtle. And so you can end the game on a tranquil note. Praise for the accomplishments of children A child needs to feel that the significant people in her life notice what she does and are proud of her accomplishments. This message can be given by a hug as well as with words. A baby’s first step, the creation of a pretty picture, or blocks stacked into a tall tower are obvious times for praise. Less obvious times are good too, for example, when a messy child shows the slightest sign of neatness. Or when she has completed a task without being asked to do it. It doesn’t matter how the accomplishment stacks up in relation to other children. The important thing is that the child accomplished something. A good rule of thumb is to praise children as often as, or more often than, you correct them. As your child grows A healthy lifestyle Good habits, like bad habits, are established early in one’s life. It’s not too soon to teach your child how to develop a healthy lifestyle. Here are some guidelines: • Make sure that you and your child have some active physical exercise every day. • Develop a well-balanced program of nutritional meals. Seek the help of a physician or nutritionist, if necessary, in establishing a sound nutritional program for the family. • Make mealtimes a pleasant time for the whole family to enjoy being together. • Choose a time other than mealtime to discuss unpleasant topics • Remember that for three-yearolds, breakfast is a most important meal. They need a good breakfast for the activities of the rest of the day. Good breakfast foods include cereal, toast, milk, fruits, and yogurt. Adjust your schedule so that the time for breakfast is not rushed, even if that means getting up earlier in the morning or going to bed earlier the night before. • Avoid letting your child spend too much time in purely inactive pursuits, such as watching TV. Make a daily trip to a nearby park where Youngster can run and jump and enjoy slides and swings. • Avoid giving candy or pop as treats or rewards. Instead, take your child to the local swimming pool or children’s activity center as a special reward. • Avoid too many snacks between meals. If you find your child experiences hunger between lunch and dinner time, make the snack a regular part of the daily routine, rather than providing several little snacks at haphazard times. Be sure the snack provides Youngster with nutritional foods such as raw fruits, vegetables, bread and jam, or unsalted crackers. • Avoid overindulgence in “fastfood” meals that are high in saturated fat but low in nutritional value. Instead give her the good nutritional meals she needs. • Avoid overindulgence in soft drinks for Youngster to quench her thirst. Because of her active life she needs to drink lots of liquids. So, provide her with milk, fruit juice, and several glasses of water every day. In order to develop a healthy body, Youngster needs vitamins, minerals, fiber, and proteins. Regular well-balanced nutritional meals, combined with daily physical exercise, are Youngster’s best passport to a healthy lifestyle. Characteristics of a good parent Margaret Mead was a noted anthropologist who studied children, parents, and methods of child raising among many races of people. When asked what she thought were the characteristics of a good mother, she replied with a short list of what she considered “valuable capacities for a mother to have.” These capacities would be equally valuable for fathers! Here’s her list: • “To treat each child as an individual person, to realize that children are not adjuncts to their parents but are individuals in their own right. • “To set a child’s feet on her own path and allow her to follow it, yet to be there when that path seems hard to follow. • “To be willing to listen, and listen, and listen. • “To be brave enough to show disapproval when one feels that something is wrong, even though by doing so one may be risking rejection by the child. • “To stand up for one’s own beliefs and so make one’s respect for a child worth having and keeping.” YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME Recently I heard the neighbor's young child turn and say defiantly to her mother: "You're not the boss of me!" I hid a smile as I thought back to the many occasions I have heard that same phrase from countless preschoolers, often four-year-olds who chafe under the restrictions of adults. How to respond to such words? Certainly not with an equal measure of adult boldness, since that could bring about nothing but a full-scale escalation of resistance. After all, the very words are triggered by the child's sense of being powerless against the adult, and call for an authoritative, not authoritarian, response. Actually, what is called for is adult recognition of the fact that we really cannot be the bosses of them, if we have the longterm goal of our children becoming truly able to control their own lives. The longer we retain the authoritarian role of sole boss, demanding unquestioning and unswerving compliance and obedience, the less likely that they will develop the knowledge and skills to selfregulate their own actions. Controlling bosses never share power. They leave their underlings to comply with resentment at being powerless. Meanwhile, the bosses take no responsibility for their actions. This is a disastrous formula for future success in children's lives. The long, gradual process of developing self-control begins in the early years. Authoritative parents set a few firm limits, carefully explaining the reasons that lay behind the limits, in terms a young child can understand. They help children experience the consequences of not keeping within these boundaries, either as naturally occurring results or as logically related actions that must follow their mistaken behavior. This is how children discover better ways to be their own boss. Parents also allow children to make some of their own choices, within the clear parameters of acceptable behavior. For example, the adult has the right to make the decision that children heading for preschool must be wearing clothes and suitable shoes, but the child may have the freedom to select those items on any given day, then parents follow up by allowing kids to experience the results of their decisions, even if they find the clothes uncomfortable for active play. (This is the time not to take on the told-you-so role, but rather to voice a calm and neutral observation: "I guess the party shoes don't work so well on the slide.") With the combination of clearly understood reasons for limits and experiencing consequences, as well as having increasing amounts of freedom to choose courses of action, children become more and more able to become their own bosses. They become more confident in that role, and parents do as well. Incidentally, all of this requires parental awareness of what their role actually is. Parenting is not about being in control of everything in your children's lives. A good parent understands that there are about eighteen years in which to equip children with the knowledge and skills that will carry them through the rest of their lives. Spending too much of this time as boss will mean that your job will never be done—an unhappy outcome for all. As children try to find their place in the world, they look to their parents for guidance and support. Make sure you give your child the room she needs to learn and make mistakes, but also make sure she knows you’re on her side, win or lose. Happy Anniversary 1 NV Helen & Irvin Jamison Reno, NV June 1, 1998 49 TX Glen & Pam Maxwell Cypress, TX June 11, 2007 27 TX Dan & Monika Bertoni Richmond, TX June 2, 2003 30 GA Fausta Bridgman and Merle Bourne Alpharetta, GA June 13, 1995 5 OH Bob Lawson Maineville, OH June 4, 2007 45 TX Melissa & Stephen Brown Keller, TX June 26, 2006 12 GA Rashid & Azra Khan Norcross, GA June 17, 1991 5 NC Kim Strother and Nancy Harris Charlotte, NC June 9, 2003 Sunday 6 NC Brooks & Julie Moye & Lynn Rasmussen Durham, NC June 23, 2005 22 GA John Boyle Roswell, GA June 17, 1993 Tuesday Monday Wednesday Thursday Friday June 2012 3 4 Look at family photographs. Have a picnic! Saturday 1 2 Name four things that are hot and four things that are cold. Try some yellow squash for dinner. 5 6 7 8 9 World Environment Day Tidy up someone’s sock drawer. Wear t your favorite t-shirt today. Go outside and look for grasshoppers. What color are they? Wear a hat today. 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Give your grandparents a call. Find a piece of paper that is not white. Look in the mirror at your eyebrows. Make them go up and down. Name 3 things to eat that are good for you. Flag Day Make some lemonade. Draw a picture of a tree. Are the leaves green or different colors? 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 Father’s Day Sing your favorite song. Play “Guess which hand?” Summer Begins Dumbo is a famous _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Play with a toy that makes noise. Sweep the sidewalk. 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 What color are the keys on a piano? Play with a funnel in the bathtub. Draw a picture of a friend. Arbor Day Look for shapes on your clothes. Can you find any circles or squares? Count how many times you can hop on one foot. Play an imitation game: Make a sound and everyone has to guess what it is. Kids ‘R’ Kids International, Inc. 1625 Executive Drive South, Duluth, GA 30096 770-279-7777 / 1-800-279-0033 www.kidsrkids.com