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How to recognize and correct run-on and rambling sentences
Activate
1. Activating Prior Knowledge
a) Why might the prisoner in this
cartoon want his cellmate’s
sentence to end in more ways
than one?
b) List at least three reasons to
avoid these types of sentences in
everyday life.
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Understand
Many people would think the prisoner’s sentence above is a run-on sentence.
In fact, it’s not a run-on sentence, but rather a rambling sentence. Nevertheless
both types of sentences should be avoided. You may ask: If this sentence that
runs on and on isn’t a run-on sentence, what is a run-on sentence?
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What Is a Run-On Sentence?
When we write like we speak, we often run our ideas together. We can end up
with a group of complete thoughts (or complete sentences) strung together in
one sentence. For example, in 1923, Foster Hewitt wanted his radio audience
to hear the action in the hockey game as it unfolded. His famous play-by-play
broadcast is often repeated in print as follows:
“He’s right in, he shoots, he scores!”
The text should actually be as follows:
“He’s right in. He shoots! He scores!”
In the first version, three sentences were joined
together to make a run-on sentence. The second
version correctly separates the complete thoughts
into sentences.
Vocabulary
run-on sentence: two or
more sentences written as one;
they are also called commaspliced sentences when joined
only with a comma and fused
sentences when joined without a
linking work
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2. Critical Literacy Why do you think people would write Foster Hewitt’s words as a run-on sentence,
instead of three separate sentences?
Why Should I Avoid Run-on Sentences?
Often run-on sentences are perfectly
understandable, as in “He’s right in, he shoots,
he scores!” Why, then, is it important to avoid
them?
When writing, you need to separate each
complete thought with a period, or to join
the thoughts with linking words or linking
punctuation, such as semicolons.The meaning
may be clear if the words are spoken, such as
in a hockey broadcast; however, the written
text appears sloppy and not properly thought
through.
Also, separating or linking complete
thoughts helps guide your readers. Why make
it more difficult for them?
Myth vs. Fact
Myth: A run-on sentence is a
really long sentence.
Fact: A very long sentence is not
necessarily incorrect. It depends on
whether the sentence is properly
punctuated.
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Recognizing and Fixing Run-on Sentences
There are two main problems that lead to
run-on sentences and several ways to
fix them.
Problem 1: Sometimes two or more
complete sentences are run together
without any joining words or
punctuation between them.
We went to the lake we saw a
wakeboarder.
Problem 2: Sometimes a new complete
thought is separated from the previous
thought only by a comma.
We went to the lake, we saw a wakeboarder.
Vocabulary
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There are several ways to fix both problems:
• Separate the complete thoughts with a period
(instead of a comma).
We went to the lake. We saw a wakeboarder.
• Use a comma and an appropriate
co-ordinating conjunction, such as for, and,
not, but, or, yet, so.
We went to the lake, and we saw a wakeboarder.
• Separate the sentences with a semicolon.
We went to the lake; we saw a wakeboarder.
• Make one idea dependent on the other. Use
a subordinating conjunction (words such as
when, because, as, if ) and a comma to show
this relationship.
co-ordinating conjunction:
a word that connects two words
or phrases of equal status and/or
similar grammatical construction.
FANBOYS can be used to
remember the coordinating
conjunctions for, and, not, but,
or, yet, so.
semicolon: a punctuation
mark that separates complete
sentences that are closely related
subordinating conjunction:
a word (such as although and
after) that introduces an idea that is
dependent on another idea
When we went to the lake, we saw a wakeboarder.
“We went to the lake” is a complete thought, but adding the word “when”
(a subordinating conjunction) changes it. “When we went to the lake” is
dependent on the rest of the sentence to finish the thought.
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3. Applying Knowledge Rewrite the paragraph below to fix all the run-ons.
Fred Sasakamoose was the first Aboriginal
hockey player to play in the NHL. He
was born in 1933 he grew up on the
Ahtahkakoop Indian Reserve in northern
Saskatchewan. Fred’s grandfather taught
him how to play hockey with a stick carved
out of a willow tree branch. At the age of
six, he was taken from his family to live at
an Indian residential school. At residential
school, a priest recognized Fred’s talent on
the ice, when Fred finished school nine
years later, the priest convinced him to
try out for the Moose Jaw Canucks junior
hockey team, where he was a star player
for four seasons. In the locker room after
his last game, his coach announced: “Fred
Sasakamoose, you’ll report immediately
Fred Saskamoose was the first Aboriginal hockey player to
to the Chicago Black Hawks. You’ll be
play in the NHL.
playing Hockey Night in Canada in Toronto
on Saturday.” He played eleven games for the Chicago Black Hawks in the 1953–54 season, when
the season was over, Fred wanted to go home to his family. He played for minor league teams closer
to home for several years. Eventually he gave up his hockey career and became chief of his reserve.
Looking back on his career, he says, “I never classified myself as being the best, but with the eleven
games, I opened up the daylight for the Indian people. I think I did . . . There is sun there now, there
is hope.”
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When Might I Be in Danger of Using a Run-on Sentence?
Here are some situations in which you might be tempted to write a run-on
sentence and an example of a run-on sentence for each situation:
• Two or more pieces of description: For example, “The phone was small,
Olivia’s bag was large and jam-packed.”
• A statement and the reason for it: For example, “Nisha was glad to be finished
her homework, studying for science was beginning to make her sleepy.”
• Two or more parts of a process: For example, “I can tell you how to shoot a
three throw. Position your feet shoulder-width apart, bring the basketball
to a shooting position, take a deep breath you as bend your legs, push up
from your legs, flick your wrist gently as the ball leaves.”
4. Applying Knowledge Rewrite each example in the bullet points above, fixing the run-on sentences.
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A Different Kind of Problem: Rambling Sentences
Sometimes several sentences are joined by too many and ’s, and so’s, and then’s,
or but ’s. These rambling sentences aren’t technically run-on sentences, but they
can be annoying for the reader. Here is an example:
So then Emma tried to leave in a huff, but I was like, “Oh no, you didn’t,” and
she was like all like, “Oh, yes I did,” and my mom was waiting in the car the
whole time because I needed to go to the dentist, which I really hate, but I had
to solve this so I pretended I couldn’t hear her honking even though it was really
loud.
The main way to fix a rambling sentence is to break complete ideas into
separate sentences. Adding periods lets your reader take a breath (just as this
girl should have done) because the reader knows the thought is complete.
Here is a revised version of the text above:
So then Emma tried to leave in a huff, but I was like, “Oh no, you didn’t,” and
she was like all like, “Oh, yes I did.” My mom was waiting in the car the whole
time because I needed to go to the dentist. (I hate going to the dentist.) I had to
solve this though, so I pretended I couldn’t hear her honking, even though it was
really loud.
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5. Understanding Form and Style How does additional punctuation in the text above change the
effect this text might have on the reader?
Often we write rambling sentences when we write how we speak. When
we write, we have the luxury of slowing down and making sure our thoughts
are properly organized.
Apply
6. Writing and Representing Think about a past experience. For example, consider the biggest
surprise of your life or the funniest thing that you did when you were younger. Write the experience
down quickly without using punctuation. Exchange your writing with a partner and have your partner
divide it into sentences.
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7. Applying Knowledge
a) What impression do all the rambling sentences in the following paragraph give the reader?
Different genres of movies can be filled with clichés, and these clichés may have been effective
the first time they were used, but now people have seen them so many times, they just come
across as unoriginal and uninteresting, but sometimes, the clichés never made much sense to
begin with. For example, in alien movies, aliens of the same race all dress the same, they
usually speak English, but their English often sounds slightly unnatural, such as they don’t use
contractions (for example, they would say “do not” instead of “don’t”), aliens don’t understand
concepts like love, and aliens don’t have a sense of humour.
b) Rewrite the above paragraph to fix the rambling sentences.
8. Writing and Representing Author Jarod Kintz once said, “I want to write the Boston marathon
of run-on sentences. And since it’ll be so long, I’ll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to
help push people through it.”
a) Attempt to write the longest sentence among your classmates. Your sentence must be properly
punctuated and not be a run-on sentence.
b) Even if your sentence is not a run-on sentence, is it still an example of poor writing? Why or why
not?
c) Rewrite your sentence so it is not a rambling sentence.
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9. Metacognition What did you learn about run-on sentences that surprised you or that you hadn’t
heard before?
Extend
10. Speaking and Listening
a) Record your own spoken play-by-play account of about two minutes of your favourite sport or
a movie trailer.
b) Listen to your play-by-play account and write your words down exactly as you said them.
c) How many run-on sentences and rambling sentences did you use in the spoken version? If necessary,
revise the written version, fixing any run-on or rambling sentences.
Literary Link
Sometimes poetry uses run-on sentences for effect. This technique is demonstrated in the iLit poems “Make ’Em Laugh”
by David Silverberg and “Little Brown” by Nicola Campbell.
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