Assessed Level 5 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5A ‘Sea World’ (Persuasion) Content: 5 5 5 5 5 Inviting, tempting and friendly, appealing throughout to the reader Strong opening statement, which is clearly reiterated in the closing paragraph Information clearly sectioned and logically presented Balance between facts and persuasive comments Use of some presentational devices – heading, sub heading, boxes, lists, map Further presentational devices to inform and amuse the reader (bullet points, diagrams, labels etc.) Sentence Structure: 5 Frequent use of extended complex sentences 5 Colloquial construction, fitting for the context (E.g. ‘Fancy a bite to eat?’) 5 Elliptical mode for giving information (E.g. ‘Discount if tickets are collected from..’) Build in short, imperative sentences to create effect and contrast (E.g. Experience the adventure!) Divide some very long sentences into shorter ones which are easier to read (E.g. para 5) Vocabulary: 5 Careful use of precise contextual vocabulary (E.g. ‘water-slides, flumes and wave machines’) 5 Extensive use of persuasive adjectives (E.g. ‘luxurious boat tour’, ‘hand-picked 5 guides’) Choice of some enticing verbs (E.g. ‘venture to our tropical aquarium’, ‘cruise across to the gift shop’) Grammar/punctuation: 5 Accurate punctuation, including question marks, exclamation marks and colons Explore a wider range of punctuation – dash, ellipsis, brackets Spelling: 5 Completely accurate Handwriting: 5 Fluent joined and clear 5 Attractive lettering for the title Experiment with a wider range and size of lettering to attract the reader’s attention Key: 5 = Achieved = Area for Development 76 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5A 77 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5A 78 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5A Persuasive Letter (Persuasive Letter) Content: 5 5 5 5 5 Business-style layout with two addresses, reference, date and heading Clear introductory and closing sentences Sophisticated subject matter and content Interesting mix of argument and justification Conveys a sense of controlled indignation well Prioritise and paragraph the 3 main arguments in logical order (first and last sections of para 2 belong in para 4 and para 3 respectively) Bullet point some statistical information to support argument Sentence Structure: 5 Sophisticated variety of structures and formats, some very complex Ensure that the complexity of some sentences does not obscure their meaning Further use of short, emphatic sentences to drive home a point (E.g. change last sentence of para 4) Vocabulary: 5 Mature choice of appropriate vocabulary throughout (E.g. ‘a balanced nutritional menu at reasonable prices’) Correct usage of ‘Yours sincerely’ and ‘Yours faithfully’ Consider further vocabulary choices - ‘situating’ (locating), dismiss (allay), ‘unproved’ (unproven) Grammar/punctuation: 5 Use of appropriate formal grammatical structure throughout (E.g. ‘In answer to the protests voiced…’) Conventional use of commas after ‘Dear Sir,’ and ‘Yours sincerely,’ Further use of commas within extended sentences to ensure complete clarity Spelling: 5 Spell checker used Learn the word ‘outweigh’ Handwriting: 5 N/A Key: 5 = Achieved = Area for Development 79 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5A 80 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C ‘The Wolves of Willoughby Chase’ - A Comparison (Discussion) Content: 5 5 5 5 5 Clear comparison between a novel and film Difficult genre organised into distinct paragraphs, which are logically arranged Good balance between fact and opinion Clearly laid out with a self-explanatory title Appropriate first paragraph, which contains a necessary and concise summary of the plot Improve the conclusion, giving more precise reasons why the book was more enjoyable Include further supporting evidence and speculations about why certain changes were made Sentence Structure: 5 A wide range of interesting and complex sentence constructions (E.g. first sentence) 5 Beginning sentences with the subordinate clause for emphasis (E.g. ‘Even though the film was not very close to the book, I still …..’) 5 Confident use of the parenthetic phrase (E.g. ‘..particularly towards the end’, ‘supposedly their innocent governess’) Ensure that all sentences are entirely logical in construction (E.g. ‘They have to stop her from stealing their inherence and their home and to murder their parents…’) More use of logical connectives to connect separate sentences (E.g. therefore, however) Vocabulary: 5 Careful choice of words for this context (E.g. ‘storyline’, ‘director’, ‘dramatic’) 5 Beginning to use more adventurous words appropriately (E.g. ‘clichéd’, ‘loosely based’) Consistency in the choice of interesting and precise vocabulary E.g. ‘The film also misses out’ (omits), ‘The close ups of people’s faces were good’ (revealing) Grammar/punctuation: 5 Confident use of a variety of sentence construction 5 Commas used within the sentence for different purposes Complete accuracy of punctuation in extended sentences Occasional use of an exclamation mark or dash to enliven the pace Spelling: 5 Accurate, including complex, polysyllabic words (E.g. ‘inheritance’, ‘innocent’, ‘orphanage’) Handwriting: 5 Fluent and clear More frequent joins to maintain speed Key: 5 = Achieved = Area for Development 81 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C 82 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C 83 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C ‘Queen Victoria’ (Recount) Content: 5 5 5 5 Sustained, controlled and interesting recount told in chronological order Important facts interspersed with individual details and incidents Clear orientation and closing statement Logical links between paragraphs Include further details pertinent to Queen Victoria’s character Sentence Structure: 5 Full range of sentence constructions used, from clear and simple (‘She was only 5 5 eighteen’) to long and complex Beginnings of a concise, emphatic style emerging (E.g. Queen Victoria’s mother always told Victoria what to do, and how to rule’, ‘She was a great ruler and loved by her people’)) A variety of adverbial connectives used to begin sentences (‘In total’, ‘Unfortunately’, ‘To this day’) Use such connectives with a higher proportion of sentences throughout the piece Vocabulary: 5 Convincing use of specific names of people, places and dates 5 A range of vocabulary used which effectively avoids repetition of key words Encourage a more adventurous choice of vocabulary Grammar/punctuation: 5 Confident use of a variety of sentence punctuation 5 Commas used consistently to demarcate clauses and phrases 5 Commas also used in parenthesis (E.g. ’..because her uncle, William the fourth, had…’) 5 Apostrophe used to isolate an ironic choice of word (E.g. ‘She ‘hid’ away..’) In complex constructions, ensure that the correct tense is used (E.g. ‘She was extremely sad ever since Albert died’) Experiment with a wider range of punctuation, such as semi-colon, to vary pace and clarify meaning Spelling: 5 Accurate, including tricky spelling patterns (e.g. ‘typhoid’, ‘tragedy’, ‘design’) Handwriting: 5 Clear and legible Key: 5 = Achieved = Area for Development 84 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C 85 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C 86 Non-Fiction LEVEL 5C 87