1. No category

— Do You Know How To G o s s i p ? —
A c c o r d i n g t o an old
talm udic le g e n d ,
out and buy the b e s t
a k in g gave to h is
' t
t h i n g i n the w o r l d . "
a p a ck a g e wh ic h he unwrapped b e f o r e
In time the
t he k i n g .
jester
j e s t e r was back w i t h
T h e r e i n was a t o n g u e . " T h a t was
w i s e l y c h o s e n " s a i d t he k i n g , " f o r t r u l y the tong ue i s
the b e s t t h i n g i n the
world.*** Now go o u t and buy rhhe w o r s t t h i n g i n the w o r l d . " T h i s
was gone a w h i l e
the k in g
t he command "Go
time the j e s t e r
l o n g e r , b u t i n time he r e t u r n e d w i t h a n o t h e r p a c k a g e , e a g e r l y
w a i t e d f o r t he p a c k a g e t o be opened and the c o n t e n t t o be r e v e a l e d .
The w r a p p i n g s came o f f and t h e r e
Indeed th e t o n g u e ,
w i t h the s u p p l e m e n t a r y power o f s p e e c h , c o n s t i t u t e s one o f
m a n' s u n i q u e l y s i g n i f i c a n t
g r e a t l y enlarged,and
f o r the k i n g t o g a z e upon w a s - - a / t o n g u e !
c a p a c i t i e s . With i t
through i t
the f i e l d
o f com munication i s
man g i v e s e x p r s s i c n t o h i s f i n e s t f e e l i n g s ,
and by i t he l i v e s some o f h i s h a p p i e s t ho urs a s he j o i n s w i t h i n company and
c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h ot he rs^ /T ^e t o n g u e ,
g iv e s explanation,and
c o n s o l a t i o n and c h e e r ,
cru el,
there
i s a man y-s id ed t h i n g , u f i t
c o n v e y s meaning,and e nh a nc es w i t h words o f c o u r a g e and
i t l i k e w i s e w i g g l e s and-wag^e6 t h r o u g h
high-powered p e r s u a s io n ,
hood^ I n s t e a d
h o w ev e r,
n ot-too-subtle
inn u en d o, and o u t r i g h t
o f b u i l d i n g and u p - l i f i t n g ,
a v a st arc o f
l y i n g and f a l s e -
i t becomes an organ o f d e s t r u c t i o n - -
h a r s h , v i c i o u s , b i t i n g a s an a d d e r ' s t o n g u e , A^d somewhere
i s e v e r the m a t t e r o f g o s s i p , t h a t s m a l l t a l k , t h a t
makes up
i n the a r c
personal talk,w h ich
so c o n s i d e r a b l e a p a t t o f our d a i l y l i v & % ^
Coming^ f r o n i a s m a l l New Eng lan d town where t r a d i t i o n has i t
that go ssip is
t h e main o c c u p a t i o n , a n d
l o n g been i n t e r e s t e d
wacre in d ee d t t e r e was no s m a ll amount o f i t ,
i n the s u b j e c t , as a m a t t e r o f f a c t ,
tim e n ta l f e e l i n g about g o s s ip ,
i n our l i t t l e
to wn .
..e had no r a d i o ,
b a a r y , g j m s & t no c a r s ,
m ainstay,
, 1 d o n ' t know what we would have don^-
no m o v t t s ,
no t e l e v i s i o n ,
our v e r y i n t e r e s t
in l i f e
by a b u l l ,
itse lf.
someone had c aug ht a f a i r - s i z e d
someone was b e g i n n i n g h a y i n g ^ someone was p u t t i n g
e v e r y now and
I have a r a ^ n e r s e n ­
no p u b l i c l i -
and l o c a l l y o n l y a w e e k l y n e w s p a p e r . G o s s i p was
our r e c r e a t i o n ,
p r e t t y small s t u f f —
without i t
our
Gome o f i t was
t r o u t under the m i l l dam,
a new r o o f on h i s b a r n , ^ u t
t h e n t h e r e would be s o m e t h i n g more s e n s a t i o n a l
ligh tn in g settin g f ir e
I nave
a f a & f e r gorad
t o a b a r n , a r u n -a w a y h o r s e t h a t had t^RodV
a team and i t s d r i v e r , ^nd now and t h e n t h e r e wold be a f u n e r a l ,
o p e n i n g the
f l o o d - g a t e s o f rem e m b ra nc e ,p ep p er ed w i t h c a u s t i c y e t k i n d l y r e m a r k s , ^^d once
in a w hile
t h e r e would b e ^ i . i c r
t 4^
r t, a * - w i * h t h e f a t h e r who rap ed h i s
d a u g t h e r and t h e n ble w o f f h i s head w i t h a s h o t g u n ,
or one o f the more r e s p e c ­
t a b l e o f t he t o w n - f a h h e r s h a v i n g been s e e n way up c o u n t r y i n t n e ne i gh b o rh o o d
o f a l a # y o f q u e s t i o n a b l e r e p u t a t i o n . ^ B y and l a r g e
i t was h a r m l e s s c h i t - c h a t ,
th e r e p o r t i n g o f e v e n t s r a t h e r t h a n the s p r e a d i n g of rumour,
t^±i^^ates,
r a t h e r th a n the b e a r i n g o f t a l e s ,
w e e k l y news -infBYNR* f i n a l l y made i t s
the t e l l i n g O f
I t k e p t us informed b e f o r e the
a p p e a r a n c e . I t k e p t us
in terested ,
and amused, and i n a day when p s y c h i a t r i s t s were n o t y e t heard o f ,
it
k e o t us somewhat h a l f s a n e .
Gossip, however, has had a very hard fall and today has a shady reputation,
^v&n^THo^gh-w4d * l y p r a c t i c e d .
Being c u r i o u s a b o u t the m a t t e r ,
b l e the o t h e r day o f l o o k i n g up the
tle
d e r i v a t i o n o f the word and I wa^ 30 l i t ­
a st o u n d e d t o see how f a r i t has s l i p p e d from i t s
rives
f ro m t h e A ^ g l o - S a x o n word g o d s i b ,
meant one who was " r e l a t e d
g o d p a r e n t . Thus we a r e t o l d
I t o o k the tro u-
o r i g i n a l m ean in g. I t d e ­
wh ic h co m b i n in g the terms
i n God". T h i s became a s s o c i a t e d w i t h t h e r o l e
th at^ "E lizab eth ...accep ted
Jassos**
**
^ ^ ' *=t
the
of
o f f ic e of gossip
^
a t the b a b t i s m o f James V I o f S c o t l a n d . " From meaing a g o d - p a r e n t ,
A
^
slipped
God and s i b
it
then
i n t o meaning a boon companion; and g o s s i p i n g ^ b e c a m e a s s o c i a t e d w i t h
m er ry -m a ki n g ,
as a t a c h r is t e n in g
o r w e e d i n g . To speak o f a " g o s s i p i n g "
a f f a i r was to s a y t h a t i t was a merry , j o l l y , c o n g e n i a l a f f a i r . " ^ % ^ t h e n s l i p p e d
Try'HK*'
to^intim afe c h a ttin g ,
_
and from t h a j t o t a t t l i n g ,
and newsmo nge ring and t he
s p r e a d i n g & f g r o u n d l e s s rumors and the d i s s e m i n a t i o n o f s c a n d a l o u s r e m a r k s .
S c a r c e l y any word i n the E n g l i s h l a n g a u g e ha s f a l l e n
«
from so g r e a t a h e i g h t
t
t o so low a l e v e l . a a —ha s the word g o s s i p .
Something O f th e s l i p p a g e
i n c o n n o t a t i o n i s EBggsa&sa de n ot e d by a volume
t h a t I r e c e n t l y came a c r o s s . iR***the" l i r b r a r y'. P u b l i s h e d back i n l 8 $ l , a n d
w ritten
by Edmund G o ss e ,
1^ i s
i t b e a r s the u n l i k e l y t i t l e
of
"Gossip in a L ib r a r y " .
^ new^much - f o r g o t t e n v o l u m e , a l t h o u g h n o t w i t h o u t
t
i n t e r e s t t o anyone who c a r e s
t o t a k e t h e xBntHxactxi t r o u b l e o f l o o k i n g i n t o i t .
I t has n o t h i n g t o do w i t h
being a god-parent,or^ sponsor a t a c h r i s t e n i n g .
On t h e o t h e r hand , i t
is far
4
above s c a n d a l - m o n g e r i n g and t a l e - t a t t l i n g .
1^ has to do w i t h an a u t h o r and
a b o o k - l o v e r c h a t t i n g w i t k h i s r e a d e r s ab o u t some volumes in h i s l i b r a r y t n a t
a re not p a r t i c u l a r l y w e l l- k r o w n , t h a t are not i l l u s t r i o u s l y g r e a t ,
him as b e i n g o f i n t e r e t s t f o r one r e a s o n or a n o t h e r ,
c a u s e i n t h e i r somewhat minor way
fe lt
but s t r i k e
and n o t l e a s t o f a l l b e ­
t h e y r e f l e c t what o t h e r - s have t n o u g h t and
a b o u t v a r o u s a s p e c t s o f l f B e . H i s t o n e - s e t t i n g p r e f a c e c o n s i s t s o f some
l i n e s w r i t t e n b a c k i n 1602 by a Samuel D a n i e l ,
c l a i m t o fame may be t h i s one momentary l i f t i n g
0 blessed
Letters,
so l o n g f o r g o t t e n t n a t h i s one
o f him out o f o b s c u r i t y :
t h a t combine i n one
A l l a g e s p a s t , a n d make one l i v e w i t h a l l :
By you we doe c o n f e r r e w i t h who a r e g o ne ,
A^d t h e d e a d - l i v i n g unto c o u n c e l l c a l l :
By you t h '
unborne s h a l l ha ve communion
Of what we f e e l e , a n d what d o t h us b e f a l l .
A^d Gosse , i n h i s own i n t r o d u c t i o n ,
a little
anecdote,
a little
s a y s " we s h a l l have
bibliography,
a little
criticism ,
and t h e n our books s h a l l go back t o
th e
s h e l v e s b e f o r e t h e y have had time t o be t e d i o u s i n t h e i r b a b b l i n g . " I
lik e
that p h rasefted iou s in t h e ir babbling",
f r i g h t e n i n g as i t
e r , a n d I s h a l l g e t back t o i t B e f o r e I a m ^ d o n e w i t h t h i s t a l k ,
is
to
a preach
But f o r the
nonce what e n g a g e s mg us i s the open use o f the temm " g o s s i p " and the w h o l l y
d e f e n s i b l e manner i n w h ic h i t
d-nc-Qo
ah oT 'oa
h ie
ifiomna
uni+h
no
is applied,
^ r i t i c a l l y k but
— o a
T - . h
u nderstand ing^ ,
t
!__l O O m S ,
L i f e o f John B u n c l e , a n d T&e J h a v i n g o f G h a g p a t . There i s much h e r e o f p e r s o n
and t h o u g h t ,
b u t n o t h in g
more , OP-&&3&P3,
o f s l y rumour o r wanton s u g g e s t i b i l t y . And f u r t h e r ­
the i n d i v i d u a l s under c o n s i d e r a t i o n a r e l o n g s*K 93 d e a d .
I f i n d a n o t h e r vo lu m e,
and e n t i t l e d
" G o s s i p o f the S e n e n t e e n t h and
p refa to ry note,
an e a s y ,
t h i s one d a t i n g f rom 1 $2 4 ; w r i t t e n by John B e r e s f o r d ,
the a u t h o r say& t h a t
"gossip in ih s f/avoura^le s e n s e . . . . i s
u nr es tr A &a dd t a l k or w r i t i n g . . . a b o u t p e r s o n s o r s o c i a l e v e n t s " and
t h u s he p r o c e d e s t o d e a l w i t h some of
l y i n t e r e s t i n g volum e,
^
,
L i g h t e e n t h C e n t u r i e s " . In h i s
means n o t h i n g
t he hu-man s i d e o f h i s t o r y . T h i s i s a v a s t ­
r e l a t i n g much a b o u t the H^ly Mr. H e r b e r t , w(to-se mame
and whose p o e t r y is^unknown,
u n l e s s one has
com a c o r s s
in
h
t he r a t h e r o ld Bahama r e f e r e n c e s
oyhis f r i e d n
I z a a k Walton and i n more r e c e n t
Volumes b y B e r e s f o r d and o t h e r s . He l i k e w i s e d e a l s w i t h Anne H y d e , t h e Duchess o f
Y^ rk ,a n d John Donne t h e Y o u n g e r , and t h e e x e c u t i o n o f C h a r l e s the
1 s t . on J a n u a r y 3 0 t h , l b 4 9 . I t i s a l l q u i t e r e v e a l i n g ,
^ t h a t j c ^ a r l e s t he L s t . had h i s head s e e r e d ffrmm h i s
m i n u t e s p a s t two i n the a f t e r n o o n ,
h l ^ body was d e n i e d i n t e r m e n t
body a t
tellin g
us
p r e c ie s e ly four
when i t igLight have b e e n dome e a r l i e r ^ and how
i n Henry V I I ' s c h a p e l i ^ ^ ^ s t m i n s t e r A b b e y ^ y i t
i s a l l do ne, h o we ve r, w i t h s c h o l a r l y d e t a c h m e n t ,
with a r e l a t i n g of f a c t ^ q u i t e
a p a r t f r o m the^ wr# te^ s emotina^\l &n.voj)%emf)(t i n the matter^ w i t h a l o o k a t
h i s t o r y t h a t t h i s was the wa& t h i n g s happend
h
—
—
and t h a t
t h i s might be o f i n t e r e s t
^
and i m p o r t a n c e t o us now l i v i n g . Here th e term " g o s s i p " i s aded i n a s e n s e
g r e a t l y a p a r t from what we u s u a l l y
the <lead , w h .
a s s o c i a t e with i t .
c a n s c a r c e l y be h a r t by a n y t h i n g
I t not only r e l a t e s to
t h a t i s s a i d , but i t
.1.0
c o n v e y s t h e i m p r e s s i o n o f s e e k i n g to be f a c t u a l l y h o n e s t ,
as a r e a l i s t i c
in sigh t
into l i f e
as i t
and o f t r y i n g
actuallylivedyv<fe
to g i v e
read jh^ ^ tory with
-----------
treme ndous i n t e r e s t
i n what has happened i n t h e p a s t . We read i t
an u n d e r s t n a d i n g t h t t
factu al history is
so m e t h in g o t h e r than
, n&ever,
with
myth and leg e n d
and what may have b e e3K
n .,t-h e g o s s i p o f the d a y .
ge4 a r t t c r ^ a p r e t t y com plicated
The m a t t e r o f g o o s i p ,
t h i n g . , 1 s biography
in tim ate,
gaagrpS
t e l l i n g as i t
d o e s t h z x i n some i n s t a n c e s
p e r s o n a l a s p e c t s o f an i n d i v i d u a l ' s l i f ^
w h e t h e r th e i n d i v i d u a l i s
l i v i n g or d e a d ,
^ ° s s i t make a d i f f e r e n c e
or i f dead wh et her he or she s t i l l
h a s d i r e c t R e l a t i v e s l i n i n g ? I s a u t o - b i o g r a p h y g o s s i p , -er i s
no m a t t e r what i t
Gossip, a t i t s
says
t he most
it
to be a l l o w e d,
?
. BgxgRxRgx&axgm^heaxxagxgggggy
lowest l e v e l ,
has been d e f i n e d a s the
spreading of aay s o r t
o f rumor or r e p o r t t h a t would defame o r mar t h e r e p u t a t i o n o f a n o t h e r human
b e i n g . As suhh i t has come under h e a v y moral c o n d e m n a t io n . I n the book o f L e v i t ­
icu s there is la id
down the p r e s c r i b p t i o n ,
a t a l e b e a r e r in the la n d " ,
that
"Thou s h a l t n o t go up and down as
and i n Matthew t h e r e
is set forth
the d i r e
w a rn i n g
" f o r e v e r y c a r e l e s s word t h a t men u t t e r t h e y w i l l have to a n s u b r on t h e
Day o f J u d g e m e n t " . A c c o r d i n g t o t h e T a l m u d , i t makes no d i f f e r e n c e w h e t h e r the
tale is
being,
t r u e or f a l s e .
it
is a sin,
God w i l l n o t f o r g i v e
N evertheless,
If it
mars or d ef a m es the r e p u t a t i o n o f a n o t h e r human
and one so s e r i o u s , i n t h e o p i n i o n o f one r a b b i ,
th a t even
it.
g o s s i p i s w i d e l y p r e v a l e n t and i n our s o c i e t y h a s even become
a w ell-paid
wares,
7
p r o f e s s i o n . T h o s e who snoop t o c o n q u e r f i n d
a r e a d y mar ket f o r
th eir
and i n r e c e n t y e a r s t h e y h a v d qjkost dominated t h e a i r - w a v e s and the
printed
p a g e ^ O g d e n N a s h , i n h i s c h a r a c t e r i s t i c manner,
p r o p e n s i t y f o r g o s s i p i n such l i n e s a s :
Oh, I do l i k e
a
little
b i t o f gossip
In the course o f a cozy l i t t l e
chat,
A^d I o f t e n wonder why
My n e i g h b o r s a l l
I'm a pussy,
I'm
jLmply
a tabby,
I'm a c a t .
M r s . D o o l e y murmured meow a t me t h i s m or ni ng :
Mrs. Cohen would have c u t me i f
she c o u l d :
But my f e e l i n g s a r e n ' t so f i l m y
That names a r e g o i n g t o k i l l me,
And a l i t t l e
b i t o f g o s s i p d o e s me g o o d .
Oh, I do l i k e a l i t t l e
bit
of gossip ;
I am p l e a s e d w i t h M R . M o f f a t ' s d o u b l e l i f e .
It's
provocative
to watch
l^aylor g u zzle Scotch;
I wonder i f he knows a b o u t h i s w i f e ?
The s h e r i f f wants a word w i t h Mrs. W a lk e r ;
She d o e s n ' t pay he r b i l l s
t h e way she s h o u l d ;
h a s poked f u n a t the
0
Yet I hear from several sources
That she gambles on the horses-Oh, a little bit of gossip does me good.
Justice Brandeis, however,
once spelled out
some part of the matter in much
more serious terms.
f
"The press" he WDDte" is oversteping in every direction the obvious bounds
of propriety and decency.Gossip is no longer the resource of the idle and
of the vicious, but has become a trade, which is pursued with industry as
well as effrontery. To satisfy a prurient taste the details of sexual re­
lations are spread broadcast in the columns of the daily papers.To occupy
the indolent,column upon column is filled with id&& gossip,which can only
be procured by intrusion upon the domestic circle....Even gossip apparently
harmless, when widely and persistently circulated, is potent for evil. It both
belittles and perverts. It belittles by inverting the relative importance
of things, thus dwarfing the thoughts and aspirations of a people. W^en
personal gossip attains the dignity of print, and CDBWds the space availa­
ble for matters of real (importance) to the community,what wonder that
the
ignorant and thoughtless mistake its relative importance. EaSy of comprehen
sion, appealing to
that weaker side of human nature which is never wholly
cast down by the misfortunes and frailties of our neighbors,no one can be
surprised that it usupps the place of interest in brains capable of other
things. Triviality destroys at once robustness of thought and delicacy of
f e e l i n g . N o e n t h u s i a s m ca n f l o u r i s h ,
under i t s
no g e n e r o u s im p ul se can s u r v i v e
b lig h tin g in flu e n ce."
One c a n q u i t e a g r e e w i t h J u s t i c e B r a n d e i s ,
f e l t much s t r o n g e r a b o u t t h e e v i l s
i s n o t o n l y t h a t g o s s i p becomes
tal
bu t i t
likew ise
o f g o s s i p than do many o t n e r A m e r i c a n s . I t
an u nw a rra nt ed i n v a s i o n
" c a s u i n g m e n t a l p a i n and d i s t r e s s ,
in ju ry ",
who o u t o f h i s e t h i c s o f Jud ais m ,
o f p r i v a c y , m a n y t im e s
f a r g r e a t e r than culd be i n f l c t e d
u p s e t s t h e whole s c a l e
o f v a l u e s a s t o what i s o f v i ­
i m p o r t a n c e . The f a c t t h a t some m i n i s t e r r a n o f f w i t h some
be v i c a r i o u s l y more e x c i t i n g
by b o d i l y
c h o i r - g i r l may
than t r y i n g t o u n r a v e l the t h e o l o g y o f
but the t h e o l o g y o f R&rt h i s a good d e a l more im p o r t a n t t h a n b e i n g info rme d
a b o u t the p e c c a d i l l o o f some m i n i s t e r . At most the m i n i s t e r i t e m d e s e r v e s ^ t a i l * .
rather
a d istin ctive
p l e a s u r e t o have
than h e a d l i n e announcement,
-edsae i x x l a s t
i s s u e o f a m e t r o p o lit a n paper
come out w i t ^ a f u l l c o v e r a g e o f what ^arth^N 4 e^ nh r,
feel
and i t would be
and S o h N a i t z a r t h i n k and
a y
^
about m an's c o n d i t i o n and t he 14k & l y ^ h o l n c a s u t Vif
*
a-nunlaai^Bar.
TkxxEXXXKxxxpnKixxBgxgEXBipxihxixtKEjaxiExgaixkBiingxxxKixpgBRxpsxxxxmBXZxx)
tRxBxxhxxxxEixtK&xkyxxxmxniEtax
^ 4-s. m
i
g
l
i
, but I would v e n t u r e t he
th o ug ht t h a t a c o n s i d e r a b l e amount o f g o s s i p i s ev en more b o r i n g . Gosse spoke
o f books n e e d i n g t o be put b a c k on t h e i r s h e l v e s
"before
t h e y had time t o be
t e d i o u s i n t h e i r b a b b l i n g . " - i ^ t ^ h o a t t i m e s J^s more t e d i o u s
thaA
?
g o s s i p e r s . They go on and o n , h o l d i n g the f l o o r ,
detail.making*
themselves
thorouahlv
obnoxious,
sinna
in t h e i r babbling
repeating d e t a i l a fte r
wrMilr!
10
the boring rather than being bored. A hundred and fifty years ago Byron lamented that society is now one polished horde, formed of
bores and the bored." Gossip provides the bores
mighty tribes,the zxx
with an endless source of
ammunition wherby they may bray, drone, bleat,chipp and rant with b a n ^ i t y
and persistence and thereby spike the guns of others who
doing the same.txiHgx
would lkie to be
According to_,Ambrose Bierce," a bore is a person who
talks when you wish hi m to listen",/(nd the silencing of a bore is by no means
the easiest or the^khmhast of offices. Of Doctor Johnson it is said.th^t he wes
once bombarded with a great many personal questions from a
man who
interlard­
ed his questions with gratuitous information about himself. Johnson stood it
as long
asjhe could,and then arose from his chair with as much dignity as he
ccould command,and remarked: "Sir,you have but two topics,yoursleif and_me.I
happen to be sick of b o t h . " / ^ T h e upshot of the matter is that if
be a gossip,at
b r a y i n g and
air
least don't be a bore.
have the f l o o r
rating,^
be t h e c e n t e r o f a t t e n t i o n . T h i s i s no s o l u t i o n a 3 f
the m atter i n s o f a r as
may t u r n ou t t o be a g r e a t e r b o r e , 4 u t a t H a s t
t o someone e l s e hSESBSg^
and
At least .allow sonane else to do his
d r o i n i n g ,and c h i r p i n g and
th= n e x t one
f e e l i n g h i m s e l f an
t h e cha nc e o f s h ^ t t n ^ e f f
important
you mqst
p a r t o f i x k the
i t 3p ep ar3 ne
tr u x nx t x hi s mouth
compa-ny.
The n e x t time you go t o a s o c i a l g a t h e r i n g you might go p r e p a r e d t o do
a minor k in d o f & e e i e ± u g T c a l s t u d y . B o r i n g as^%6 thig&t b e ,
e s t i n g i t might become as you
^ d o i^ "th e
talkin g,
ngte
w h e t h e r what
the m o r e r n t e r - ,
who i s d o i n g ^ t h e t a l k i n g , w ^ y " t g
a g e - s a y i n g , s e * s * a i ^ g o f wo rth and v a l u e ,
11
and how r e a d y t he i n d i v i d u a l i s
else.
a bo ut r e l i n q u i s h i n g the f l o o r
to someone
I d o n ' t s u g g e s t t h a t you go w i t h an open n o t e - b ^ o k on yo r
m ight be
knee ,wh ch
a b i t c o n s p i c u o u s and t h e r e b y put you out o f t he r u n n i n g , b u t you
m i-gh t keep
h i d d e n n o t e - b o o k whic h r e c o r d s
g o i n g , wnat i s b e i n ' s i a d , w h o i s s a y i n g i t ,
o f any g r e a t v a l u e .
and
how t he a f f a i r
wh et her wht i s
I have s a t t h r o u g h many a b o r i n g e v e n i n g ,
t r a t e d b e c a u s e I had-^n oth±n^
' , b u t no l i t t l e
in terested
is
said i s of
c o m p l e t e l y ^cusi n n o t i n g how
^ b o r i n g the who&e s i t u a t i o n w a s.
i n v o l v e d injthe m a t t e r i s
gossip
the
common n o t i n n t h a t women a r e more g i v e n t j o "
t h a n a r e men. T h i s , ho we ve r
m o f proven
are e v e ry
bit
a p p e a r s , t o be more a m a t t e i j o f o p i n i n?
f a c t . S p e a k i n g f rom p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e ,
as g iv e n to
volume we have o f
gossip at
I would s a y t h a t men
c h i t - c h a t and g o s s i p a s a r e wo^en . Almost e v e r y
one thevel or a n o t h e r
a man- P e p e y s , a n d M o n t a i g n e ,a n d the
comes fr om t h e hand o f
b r o t h e r s G o n c o u r t , a n d H a r r y GePd-en
of
oMr own t i m e . Agd o v e r a g a i m t wonn g e t t i n g t o g e t h e r and c h e w in g someone e^ I e
apart,
we ha ve t h e c o n s t a n t
happy h o u r,
fie n d s,
g e t t i n g t o g e t h e r o f men a t
^ l u n c h e o n s ,a n d
and t h e i r r e a l l y d i g g i n g ix tm x i n ^ t o the l i v e s o f
bodses,w ives,
and c o - w o r k e r s . R e s e a r c h has be e n d o n e ^ n the m a t t e r and i t
up w i t h the r e s u l t ^ / t h a t
s ip quotient
no marked d i f f e r e n t i s
to
the
comes
be n o te d b e t w ee n the g o s ­
o f t h e male and the f e m a l e .
We l i k e w i s e have t h d n o t i o n t h a t g o s s i p i s l a r g e l y the p r o p e r t y o f the i d l e ,
of those who have time on thier
hands, but the indication is,from more than
one study,
ter
tuat the gizziKi* anpun-t of gossip comes fp
from
eR t h a n ^ e
id le
more
p e r s o n . T h i s by v i r t u e o f the f a c t t h a t
associations, moreu.
contacts,
jm the busy person rat^the busy person has
more assuMpd inroads of intimate know­
ledge. The gossip^<\t the laj^es sewing circle qggg&e
snail start compared to
that at the men's bar,and that-becomes small stuff compared to what is sifted
back
from imagined or real access to
high places.
ing the prestige ladder, of moving from
wh-at
Gossip nas a way of climb-
occureed with fammcr Jones to
what happened at the White jlouse, of shifting from the local and specific to
something more
far-ranging. Just as gossip is n<bt the
so it is not the
monopoly of the female
monopoly of the idle and the empty-minded. It is something
that can attach to all, can be a part of all, can flow with greater power
when it seems to stem from higher sources of authority.
M re important thah seeking to establish the universality of
gossip, i*
trying to understnad its appeal. First of all, to be injthe know exalts one's
self importance and places oneself in the center of the social stage. "Have you
^
?
heard..." "Do you know..." are not so rr\uch invitations to an exchange of
knowledge, as
the speaker.
others
a pronoucement 1{at^-i. knows^me thing that pax don't knowp,and
therefore they had better give hirr, attention. Through his inside knowledge,
which sometimes getss exaggerated to make it the more impressive, the speaker
presses himself ixxkh into a center stage role.A^d the
doublj
gratifying if the bit of hear-tell kf* u=rs%.
center^stage role is
k n i f e s someone whose a c h i e v e m e n t s m p —
s i p i n many i n s t a n c e s i s a
or p o s i t i o n
s u r p a s s o n e ' s own. Gos­
way o f b u i l d i n g up t h e s e l f by t e a r i n g d t * e r s
down.j^I was r e c e n t l y r e a d i n g s o m e t h i n g about t h e b r o t h e r s Edmonjand J u l e s de
G o n c o u r t whose c a r e e r c o n s t i t u t e s
n e r s h i p s . I n the
h sitory,
spa ce o f t w e n t y y e a r s
art criticism ,
-B3=Re"volume J o u r n a l
was s t a r t e d
one o f the most famous o f a l l l i t e r a r y p a r t ­
t h e y wrote-we-M ov er t h r i t y vo lum es o f
n o v e l s and p l a y s ,
and most e n d u r i n g z i i x * a f a l l a
laj^ge-ly d e a l i n g ^ w i t h French l i t e r a r y l i f e .
on t h e 2nd .
-*-he J o u r n a l
o f D e c e m b e r p l 8 $ l . J u l e s d i e d on the 22 nd o f J u n e , l 8 y 0
and Edmon^continued w i t h the J o u r n a l down u n t i l t w l ^ v & d a y s b e f o r e j i i s
death
i n 1 8 9 6 . P u b l i c a t i o n o f t h e c o m p le t e J o u r n a l d i d n o t t a k e p l a c e
u ,til
1 9 5 3 . But d u r i n g Edmonds l a s t y e a r s some p a r t o f t h e J o u r n a l was p u b l i s h e d and
i t was so d r i p p i n g i n t i t t l e - t a t t l e
made p r o t e s t and
a sk ed
and venom t h a t - S & t T a i n e ,
among o t h e r s ,
t h a t t h e r e be no f u r t h e r p u b l i c a t i o n . I t i s s a i d
that
whever Edmond e n t e r e d a d r a w i n g - r o o m p e o p l e moved out o f e a r - s h o t as guard
a g a i n s t b e i n g m a ss a c re d i n t h e J o u r n a l .
A^d t h r e was ample c a u s e f o r a l a r m .
pj^Murger i t was w r i t t e n t h a t he was " d y i n g o f an i l l n e s s i n which one r o t s
a i i ? e ___ W^en t h e y t r i e d
t o t r i m h i s moustache the o t h e r d a y ,
the l i p came
away with the h a % s . " Gautier is described as "heavy of face, with all his
featurs sagging, his lines thi/ckening, a sleepy countenance, a mind drowned
in a barrel of matter." Of Flaubert,it is said that "the older he gets,the
more provincial he becomes
if you subtract from my good friend the ox in
him ,the hard-working a n i m a l , . . . y o u
ordinary ta le n t,
of v e r y l i t t l e
f i n d y o u r s e l f f a c e d wi t h a c r e a t u r e o f v e r y
o r i g i n a l i t y . " ^enan i s
a d u l a t o r o f any s o r t o f s u c c e s s " , ^ a i n e
at a ll
the g r e a t
b ellied
cles,
lik e
"a p h i l o s o p h e r
"t he t o a d y i n g , s e r v i l e
nJhom one ru ns i n t o
c o u r t e s a n s ' h o u s e s " . He had " the s t u p i d wa lk o f a p o t -
clergyman,
whi-eh h i s s l y ,
and the s w a r t h y ,
t
h y p o c r t i c a l g a z e h i d d e n behind h i s s p e c t a ­
unhe^thy u glin ess o f
h o rrifyin g w ife,
who l o o k s
a d i s e a s e d s i l k w o r m . " S a i n t e - B e u v e i s a c r i t i c " who h a s n e v e r d e l i v e r e d
an independent,
personal
judgement on a s i n g l e b o o k . " Zola,h a i l e d i n 1§68 a s
" ou r a d m i r e r and p u p i l " t a k e s a v e r b a l l i c k i n g
outshine
i n 187$ when he has begun to
the b r o t h e r s . " I t i s s t r a n g e " w r i t e s Edmond i n 1875 "what a w h i n e r
that fa t- p o t- b e llie d
yonng^ f e l l o w i s . " Even Z o l a ' s w i f e does not e s c a p e . I n
l 8 $4 , Edmond s a y s o f h e r t h a t s h e ^ " t r e a t e d i n R^me w i t h p o l i t e n e s s a c c o r d e d t o
s o c i e t y women,
s o m e t hi ng t o which she i s n o t a c c u s t o m e d . "
"What we ha ve t r & 3 d to d o " s a i d Edmond i n h i s p r e f a c e " i s
tem poraries to l i f e
f o r p o s t e r i t y i n a s p e a i n g l i k e n e s s . " what t h e y s u c ce ed e d
i n d o i n g was t o g i v e a g r o s s l y d i s t o r t e d p i c t u r e
o f many o f t h e i r
r i e s . U n a bl e t o a b i d e the s u c c e s s e s o f t h o s e who were h e l d
fie n d s,
they trie d
t o b r i n g our c o n -
c o n t e m p o ra ­
to have be en t h e i r
to w h i t t l e them down w i t h d i s c r e d i t a b l e a n e c d o t e s and
s p t ? e f u l j u d g e m e n t s . Through c u t t i n g d?!%%{s down, t h e y s o u g h t to i n c r e a s e
their
own s t a t u r e .
Take one o t h e r i l l u s t r a t i o n .
S^me time b a c k i n a h o u s i n g p r o j e c t o u t s i d e
B oston,M assachusetts,
-L3
a movement t o o r g a n i z e a n u r s e r y
and a d u l t - e u d c a t i o n c l a s s e s came to an a b r u b t h a l t ,
c h o o l , t e e n ag e c l u b s
1 e announced r e a s o n g i v e n
was t h a t t h e program was b e i n g s p on so re d by Communists.
o f th e M a s s a c h u s e t t s I s t i t u t e
the s i t u a t i o n .
ive
They t r a c e d
o f T e c h n o l o g y di d an i n t e n s i v e
in v e stig a tio n of
the s t o r y to a woman who had a r r i v e d
s o c i a l s t a t u s as a l e a d e r i n community a c t i v i t i e s .
ject,
Two f a c u l t y members
she had come up a g a i n s t a n o t h e r
woman,
a t an i m p r e s s ­
In the d e v e l o p i n g p r o ­
eve n more promin&jhetft, p a r t i c u l a r ­
l y in the o r g a n iz in g of a d u l t - e d u c a t i o n c l a s s e s . F e a r in g l o s s o f p r e s t i g e ,
alm ost u n c o n s c io u s ly began to
i c a l view s,
r a s i e q u e s t i o n s abo ut t h e o t h e r woman's
a b o u t he r l o y a l t y ,
she
p o lit­
a b o u t h e r a s s o c i a t e s . Had she n o t onee p r e s i d e d
ov€R the sho wi ng o f a movie whi ch had " R u s s i a n s o u n d i n g " background m u s i c .
S
the s n o w b a l l o f g o s s i p s t a r t e d r o l l i n g ,
was r a i s e d ,
and t he h o u s i n g
program was
and t h e fe ars om e b o g e y o f Communism
halted.
t
(4^
^
'
A c c o r d i n g to D r. Gordon A l p o r t o f H a r v a r d , " t h e t yp e o f g o s s i p
fers is
a pretty relia b le
am bitions,
one p r e ­
i n d e x o f t h e i n d i v i d u a l s own f e a r s , f r u s t r a t i o n s ,
i n s e c u r i t i e s and g u i l t s .
I f one t e l l s
stories
of a fr ie n d 's
in fid el­
i t i e s , one may be e x p r e s s i n g s e x u a l g u i l t , s t e m m i n g p o s s i b l y f r o m o n e ' s own
u n c o n s c i o u s d e s e i r e t o be u n f a i t h f u l .
or r e l i g i o u s
in secu rity.
p rejudice,
I f Emxgansxx o n e ' s g o s s i p l e a n s
one may be s e e k i n g a s c a p e g o a t f o r
P e o p l e who c a n ' t
to r a c i a l
ones own s o c i a l
f a c e up t o t h e i r own f a u l t s and i n a d e q u a c i e s ,
a r e prone to l o o k f o r s c a p e g o a t s . P r o j e c t i n g on t o o t h e r s the t h i n g s ^we^don'T
lik e
in e u r s a v e s , 3 3 ' ease
star g u i l t f e e l i n g s .
" I ' m n o t so b a d . A f t e r a l l
just
10
look at what
that other person or group is like." A good bit of gossip is
simply the old process of the pot calling the kettle black.
What can be done about the matter? One cynic has
of the tongue as the only effective remedy, ^llport
recommended amputation
offers five less drastic
suggestions.First, don't be afaid to ask for evidence to support a story or
rumor passed on to you.If it isn't forthcoming,let the story end with you.
Second, apparaise the ^^grator of a ^e&ce of gossip. D^es he or she have any
hostility Reward, or prejudice against,
the subject of the gossip? Th^rd,
consider whether or not the gossip you are about to relate reveals any of
your own dirty psychic linen. Fourth, distrust all gossip that reflects a
current hysteria,whether it be
racial
xgiigiBKX prejudice, p o l i t i c animosity, or
a squabble in the local PTA.A^d fifth,learn your own weaknesses,and face up
to them. When y o u r ^ mature enough to face up to yourself",says
lport,"you'll
discover that you can actually like yourself, flaws and all. A d then you
won't need a scapegoat."
Beyond such very valuable suggestions,
there is ever t^e general rule
of seeking to speak what is constructively good. St.Augustine said of his
mother that
whenever she heaRd people xEiziii retailing stories to the hurt of
somebody else, she made a point of telling something good
about that person.
Ifis does not mean, a flattery and saccharinity that can be almost as sickening
as the vilest gossip.
does not mean that there is no place for criticism
and j u d g e m e n i y e v e n f o r the hard s t e r n w o rd .
the sid e o f m erit wherever th a t
What i t does mean i s
j u d g i n g on
i s p o s s i b l e and u s i n g our t o n g u e s t o m u t u a l l y
s t r e n g t h e n and e n c o u a r a g e one a n o t h e r . We c a n ' t g e t away from g o s s i p ,
b u t we
m fght work a t making i t more c o n s t r u c t i v e g o s s i p . We might make a p o i n t o f
looking fo r
someth^g encouRl&ing t o
g r o w t h and t o s t i m u l a t e
p r a i s e . We m i g h t , i n d e e d ,
in the world.
the
very
s a y . We might use our t o n g u e s t o ev ak e
q u a litie s
t h a t we would l i k e
t o ue a b l e
to
t u r n the w o r s t t h i n g i n the world i n t o the b e s t t h i n g