1. society
2. sex

HOW TO MEET WOMEN IN LA
How to Meet Women
By:
Tony
6/24/2012
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Who am I?
I’m a guy just like you who wanted to get better at meeting and bedding women. I didn’t
have any particular trait that stood out about me, however I had a simple belief; “If they
can do it, I can do it.” Meaning if someone else out there was good with women, then I
could be just as good or better. Here is something that I would like to point out; just
because someone is better then you at meeting women does not mean that they are a
better person then you! They are just better in this particular area. You probably have
many areas that you are better than them at. They just happen to be better with this
specific skill. And like all skills, meeting women is something that you can practice and
develop until you are proficient at it.
My Background
Without giving away too much of who I am, I’m 5’10, of middle-eastern descent, and grew
up for the most part in sunny San Diego. I would say I really got started in this game when
I was sixteen. My friends and I would drive across the border from San Diego to Tijuana to
pickup women in the nightclubs there. Any club that was having a “Ladies Night” (where
women get in to the club for free) is where we would be. This would mean that my friends
and I would go out sometimes Monday-Sunday to clubs trying to pick up women.
One thing that we initially did to help us get good fast is that we would give each other
requirements that had to be met. For instance when we first started we would say “No
one can go home until everyone talks to one girl.” This wasn’t too difficult to do
especially with alcohol involved but remember, we were brand new to this stuff. Then we
would up the ante “No one can go home until everyone talks to three girls.” Then “No one
can go home until everyone talks to ten girls.” Then “No one can go home until everyone
kisses one girl.” And then “No one can go home until everyone kisses three girls.” And so
on. You did not want to be the guy at the end of the night holding everyone up from going
back home across the border so everyone would try to get their requirements met as soon
as possible.
My friends and I would also get together at the end of every night (which was usually
5:00AM as the clubs there close so late) or the next day and discussed what worked, what
didn’t, and what we could have done better. The result, every one of my close friends has
solid game. Even one of my friends who was a little heavier-set weight-wise developed
amazing game. He’s slept with some incredibly hot women and is in or around the triple
digit mark for the number of women he’s bedded.
Once we started to get good at picking up women we would have contests such as “Let’s
see who can make out with the most women tonight.” (My most was sixteen women in one
club in one night) or “Let’s see who can pull faster tonight.”
The result of all of this was that I developed GREAT nightclub game but I was almost
totally worthless when it came to talking to women during the day. At the mall, school,
grocery store, I would have no idea what to say. Put me in a club, I would do great.
Sometimes I would hook up with a girl at a club and the next day bump in to her at school
and be completely speechless. It was like I was two totally different people. However, I
didn’t really care as I knew I could just go out that night and meet someone new.
The turning point in my life came about six years ago when I was twenty-five and at this
cool chic restaurant in Los Angeles. I saw this beautiful blond French woman, with big
great tits, and went up and started talking to her. The interaction went good initially
however soon it started to go south and I ended up crashing and burning. I was so upset by
the interaction that I went home and Googled something along the lines of “how to get a
woman’s phone number during the day.” After reading countless worthless articles by guys
who I seemed to know more then, I came across a write-up entitled “Getting Laid in NYC”
by Paul Janka (Paul if you are reading this, thank you!). The method advocated there, and
one of several ideas I will share with you here, was the thing that I had been looking for. I
immediately went out and tried his number close method on this tall, sexy, Persian woman
that worked at the gym. Sure enough, she gave me her number. Then, I tried it on a few
customers at work the next day and sure enough, they gave me their numbers. Then I
began trying it on practically every woman I would see anywhere. I think I got somewhere
around sixty numbers that week. It was as if someone had given me the magic keys to
women.
Soon after this, I moved from California to Michigan. Who would have thought that some
of my most plentiful years of gaming would be in Michigan? Shortly after my move, I met a
guy by the name of John G who would help take me to an even higher level in terms of
gaming. John was a guy who had slept with around eight hundred and fifty women (yes,
eight hundred and fifty women!) at the time of our meeting (it’s probably around a
thousand women now). And I don’t mean just any old average women. John has dated
some of the best of the best, high end models, sexy strippers, he’s had them all. In fact,
he had become so well known in the middle-eastern community for sleeping with so many
women that he had to now say he was Italian and go by a fake name when women asked
who he was. When we first met, John told me about some of his exploits and offered to
take me under his wing. I thought “This guy must not know who I am. I’ll take him out and
show him some stuff.” Boy was I wrong! This guy exposed me to a level of game I had
never seen before. Our first night out, we went in to a nightclub and he absolutely
crushed it. He was pulling women left and right and for his grand finale, I saw him pull a
woman away from these two men who I knew to be drug dealers. I was sold! I then spent
the next two years with him going to the clubs in Michigan and picking up as many women
as we could.
After spending two great years in Michigan, I decided to move back to the City of Angels.
When I got to Los Angeles I told myself “I give myself full permission to run as wild as I
want.” Through some synchronistic events, I ended up meeting one of the more wellknown pick-up artists in the pick-community and spent three months interning for him and
learning his system. I then spent five months as his head instructor taking guys out and
teaching them how to meet women. At around the eight month mark, I left his company to
start my own and have been doing that on and off since. I will now share with you
everything I’ve learned so that you can get the results you desire and deserve.
Beliefs – “Your Outer World is a Reflection of Your Inner World”
Before we get started on how to approach, we have to examine your beliefs both about
yourself and in regards to your relationship with women. You are where you are right now
based on the beliefs you have. Some of these beliefs are serving you, while others are not.
I would say the VAST majority of guys have shitty beliefs when it comes to women. In fact,
I say in seminars “Whatever you think you can do in regards to women (meeting,
approaching, bedding, and relationships), turn it up at least sixty percent, for some of
you, even eighty-five percent.” Most guys have so undervalued themselves and so
overvalued the opinion of a woman that it’s no surprise that they are having the
difficulties they’re having.
Regardless of where you got your negative beliefs; parents, teachers, peers, or yourself
through incorrect reasoning, they can be changed. Esther Hicks, the great spiritual
teacher, said “A belief is just a thought you’ve thought over and over again.” With that
said, one of the EASIEST and most fun ways to change a belief is through affirmations. An
affirmation is simply a declaration that something is true. For instance I could declare
“The sky is blue!” Regardless of how the sky looks outside, I can declare that now. The
same process is true for your love life. You can start declaring “I am great with women!”
“I am successful with women!” and regardless of how things might look at the moment
with your relationships, you can still choose to declare this.
What happens is once you start to say affirmations, the ideas and statements that you are
affirming begin to drop from you conscious mind in to your subconscious. It’s been said
that over ninety percent of what you do is subconscious. You drive to work the same way
every day, you put your pants on the same way every day, you brush your teeth the same
way every day, so it’s important to have subconscious programs that serve you! If one
person has the subconscious belief “I am great with women!” and another person has the
subconscious belief “I am lousy with women.” You can imagine that their lives would look
totally different in the area of relationships. However if the person with the negative
subconscious belief were to begin affirming that he is great with women, that women do
like him, and that they are attracted to him, his life would begin to change because his
beliefs would begin to change. It’s that simple!
Think of your beliefs as your personal life movie reel. Based on the belief/movie reel you
have playing at the moment, you will see a certain movie playing in your life. Change your
beliefs, and your movie has to change!
Affirmations
First, when doing affirmations, make sure that they are in the present tense “I am great
with women” and/or “I am having sex with a beautiful blond”. Second, make sure that
they are positive! An example of a positive affirmation would be “I am good looking!” An
incorrect way to say this would be “I am no longer ugly.” The first picture brings to your
subconscious mind an image of good looks, while the second image brings to your
subconscious an image of ugliness. Whatever images you give to your subconscious, it will
go to work on creating them to the best of its ability. Show it pictures of yourself being
successful with women, and it will go to work on creating that. Show it pictures of
yourself as a failure with women, and it too will go to work on creating that. It doesn’t
care what you show it, it will go to work on creating whatever you are giving it. Think of
your conscious mind as the king and your subconscious as the servant. You are the king.
You control your subconscious mind. Tell and show it what you would like it to do. Another
analogy would be to think of your subconscious as a little baby that feeds on the images
you show it. Just as if you were to feed a baby good food, if you feed your baby
(subconscious mind) healthy images, it will grow up and be healthy. So make sure your
affirmations are positive!
When doing your affirmations, say them with EMOTION! The more emotion an affirmation
has, the more powerfully it will drop from your conscious mind in to your subconscious. “I
AM GREAT WITH WOMEN!” “Women like me!” “I am irresistibly attractive to women!” “My
sex life is incredible!” I like to stand in front of the mirror and say my affirmations
powerfully every day. If you live with people, and don’t want them to think you’re nuts,
either A) Tell them you are doing your affirmations or B) Say them in your head to yourself
really loud. I prefer to do them out loud as I’ve found it has a more powerful impact.
When doing affirmations, sometimes it might take some time for your new affirmations to
settle in, Why? Because you’ve had YEARS of thinking the way you think. It’s taken time
for these new ideas that have been implanted in your subconscious to grow and bloom. So
be patient with yourself and this process. You’re developing a new way of thinking, a new
way of being. For some of you, doing affirmations might be the first time in your life
you’ve really begun to tap in to and claim your true power. It will be as if you’re shedding
an old worn out you and replacing it with a new confident strong version of yourself. The
effort is worth the result!
Most guys who are good with women already do affirmations with themselves however
they don’t realize they’re doing it. For instance, my friend John G, after he would get
ready would look in the mirror and say “Damn I’m good looking. Some lucky woman is
going to come home with me tonight.” He didn’t realize he was doing affirmations, that’s
just how he spoke to himself. Guys who are good with women speak positively to
themselves regarding women.
How True Playboys Think
Here are some affirmations I use and recommend to my students:
1. I am successful with women
2. Everything is working out for my highest good
3. Women like me
4. Women want me
5. I’m the prize
6. I’m the king
7. It’s prime pussy season!
8. I’m tapped into the sexual energy of the universe
9. All my sexual needs are being divinely met now
Let’s briefly examine them.
1. “I am successful with women.” – This is pretty self-explanatory.
2. “Everything is working out for my highest good.” – I believe that EVERYTHING is
working out for my highest good. She didn’t call, great! It’s working out for my
highest good. We went out and had amazing sex, great! It’s working out for my
highest good. EVERYTHING is working together for my highest good. Remember,
your subconscious will go to work to create any belief that you give it so I give it
only positive ones. One time I was in Washington D.C. and the first night out I got
fourteen phone numbers, a few kisses, and almost a same night lay. The next day I
am sitting with some other pick-up instructors and I proceed to text the women I
met the previous night. Not a single one immediately texted back (some did end up
texting later on though). The instructors were looking at me to see how I would
react and I told them “Relax, everything is working out for my highest good.” I
went out that night and had an incredible time (told some women at a
bachelorette party that I was the stripper they hired and partied with them) and
ended up sleeping with one of the hottest women I have ever been with. It was
some incredibly hot kinky sex. Had the other women texted back, I would not have
met that woman.
3. “Women like me.” – Again, this one is self-explanatory. Even if women don’t like
you right now, or you think they don’t, start saying this. It might feel odd or like
you’re lying to yourself but I want you to think that you’re just telling the future
in advance.
4. “Women want me.” – This is self-explanatory.
5. “I’m the prize.” – So many guys make women the prize and they undervalue
themselves. Fuck that! You are the prize! Assuming that you are a good guy, it is in
her best interest to be with you also.
6. “I’m the king.” – When women would ask my friend John G “Who are you?” He
would say “I’m the king.” Imagine that when you walk in to a club, you are the
king walking around your castle. It gives you a different mode of thinking and
behaving.
7. “It’s prime pussy season!” – I love this affirmation. Say it with emotion and watch
all the women magically enter your life.
8. “I’m tapped into the sexual energy of the universe.” – For those of you who believe
in the Law of Attraction, what you put out is what you get, so when you put out a
strong sexual energy, you attract a lot of sex to you.
9. “All my sexual needs are being divinely met now.” – I like to take a spiritual
approach to life so when I say this, I believe that the Divine or God is meeting all of
my sexual needs in the best way possible for both me and the woman or women
who enter my life.
Self-Esteem Affirmations
1. I like myself.
2. I love myself
3. I feel good about myself
4. I am attractive
5. I look great
6. I am sexy
7. People like me.
8. Every day and in every way I am; better and better, richer, healthier, sexier
(whatever it is you want).
Remember, if you don’t currently feel this way about yourself, just imagine that you are
telling the future, in advance! It’s that simple. Start to say these affirmations, along with
any other that you think of, every day to yourself and your self-talk (how you talk to
yourself) will begin to change. You will now think better thoughts, which will lead you to
take better actions, which will lead to greater results, which will cause you to think even
better thoughts, which will lead you to take even better actions, which will lead to even
greater results! Saying affirmations causes a great cycle of positive momentum for you.
When I’m at home or working, I like to let an affirmations track play in the background.
The positive messages I hear have a profound effect on both my subconscious and
conscious mind. My subconscious patterns are being rewired for success, and consciously I
feel great from the positive messages I am hearing. I will soon have some powerful
affirmations tracks available on my site to recondition your subconscious for success.
Visualization
If you’re not having the level of success with women you’d like, spend a few minutes
every day seeing yourself as successful with women. These images of success will drop
from you conscious mind down to your subconscious which will go to work to bring them
into reality. I want to make an important note here. Your subconscious mind does not
know the difference between what’s real and what’s false! For instance, if you start
fantasizing about a woman or women that you like giving you a blowjob, you will begin to
get hard. Even though you consciously know that there is no woman in the room giving you
a blowjob, you still begin to get erect. Why? Because your subconscious mind cannot tell
the difference between what’s real and what’s false. It will take any image you show it,
true or false, and begin to act on it. So show it what you want to see!
Spend a few minutes every day visualizing how you would like your life to be. See yourself
with lots of women, see yourself approaching them confidently, see them surrounding you
and laughing at all your jokes, see them telling you how interesting you are, see them
coming home and sleeping with you. If you can see it in your mind, you can see it in your
life. I say, “Spend a few minutes every day visualizing...” because it has been said that it
takes thirty-three and a third seconds on average for a thought to drop from someone’s
conscious mind down to their subconscious. Most people have never learned to
concentrate their thoughts so spend a few minutes every day so that your subconscious
gets the reprogramming it needs.
When I first moved back to Los Angeles and wanted to have more sex, I would visualize
myself calling my friend Alan and telling him “I fucked her!” and us celebrating on the
phone as I told him the story of how I had fucked some beautiful woman. Sure enough,
within a day or two, I made that phone call after I had met a woman at the gym and she
ended up coming over that night. I then repeated that visualization process and ended up
making a lot more calls to Alan! So try it! Show yourself whatever the end result would be.
And don’t worry about how it is going to happen. That is your subconscious mind’s job to
figure out. Your subconscious has been called the greatest computer ever. It filters out
billions of bits of information every second to focus on what it is in accordance with your
belief system. Begin showing it some new images, and it will begin to focus on those and
bring them into your reality.
Another important reason to visualize what you want is so that your subconscious will
become familiar and okay with new levels of success with women. For instance, I live in an
apartment complex that recently underwent a massive renovation. The place looks much
better than it did when I first moved in and according to some tenants who have lived
here for a while, it now looks better than it ever has. Something that I thought was
interesting though was how many people suddenly had to move once the renovations were
complete. It was as if the building had become too nice or good for them so they found
some reason(s) to move. Instead of enjoying their new-found prosperity, they found a
reason to jeopardize it so that they could stay at their current level. To avoid selfsabotage, I want you to show yourself images of you being successful with women. That
way when they do appear in your life, instead of self-sabotaging your success, you will
actively accept it.
*I will soon have some powerful visualization tracks available for you on my site to recondition
your subconscious for success.
Emotional Issues
If you have some emotional issues stemming from a rough childhood, bitter divorce, death
in the family, or anything else for that matter, take some time to address those issues.
This is hugely important. That negative energy, be it depression, fear, anger, or
frustration is going to permeate and influence every part of your relationships and
interactions. Find a good therapist, counsellor, psychiatrist, hypnotherapist, church, or
spiritual center to release any negative emotions and feelings. The healthier you feel, the
healthier your relationships will be. I personally go to Agape Spiritual Center
(www.agapelive.com) as I love the energy of the place, its message, and the incredible
people there. Find a place that works best for you.
*For a great hypnotherapist, please visit www.anewschoolhypnotherapy.com
Pain and Pleasure
If you’re not approaching or having the success with women that you desire, there’s only
one reason for it. YOU’VE ATTACHED TOO MUCH PAIN AND NOT ENOUGH PLEASURE TO
INTERACTING WITH WOMEN! It’s that simple. Your subconscious associates interacting with
women, whether it be the approach, conversing with them, or sleeping with them, as
painful so in its attempt to keep you safe, it sabotages your success with them. It might
sound crazy or counterintuitive but that is what is happening. Some of you might be
thinking “But being with a woman sounds so good! Why would I sabotage that?”
Remember, I said your subconscious is doing this. At some point during your journey
through this thing called life, you subconsciously associated interacting with women as
painful. Consciously you might want to fuck every woman you see however subconsciously
your mind is seeing this as a source of pain. To solve this dilemma, you simply have to flip
the script! You have to show your subconscious mind that interacting with women with is
PLEASURABLE (it is!) and not interacting with them is painful (it is!). To do so, you’re
going to do a simple but powerful exercise to make your subconscious associate pleasure
with interacting with women, and pain with not interacting with them. Once your
subconscious is properly set, it’ll be as if you’ve set yourself on autopilot for success.
Exercise:
1. Grab a pen, a few pieces of paper, and a stopwatch or timer, and set the timer for
3 minutes. At the top of one of the pages write out “What is the pleasure I will
get by having success with women?” And for three minutes (you can write for
longer if you like) write out nonstop all the pleasure you’ll feel by having success
with the women you want. Imagine all the nights of amazing sex, how good it’ll
feel to be inside the women you’ve always wanted, the confidence you’ll now
have, higher self-esteem, healthier relationships, the fun adventures you’re now
having, whatever being successful with women will look like for you. Make sure to
use the entire three minutes. This exercise causes your subconscious to associate
massive pleasure to interacting with women. As your subconscious is continually
trying to avoid pain and experience pleasure, it will begin to find more ways for
you to have success with women.
2. Now on a new piece of paper write out “What is it costing me to not have the
success with women that I want?” and write out for three minutes nonstop ALL
the pain, frustration, headache, heartache, anger, nervousness, and any other
costs, hurts, and feelings, you’re feeling and have felt as a result of not interacting
with women the way you want to. Again make sure to use the entire three minutes.
This exercise is causing your subconscious to associate massive pain to not
interacting with women in ways that are healthy and fulfilling.
3. Now, on a new piece of paper write out “Why am I absolutely committed to
having success with women?” And for three minutes again write out all of the
reasons you are absolutely committed to having success with women. Really be
descriptive here. These are the reasons you are going to be doing what you do. The
clearer you are, the better results you will have.
Tell a New Story
It’s now time to tell yourself a new story of how awesome things are going to be. Some
of you have been telling the same old long boring ass story for so long that it’s become
really embedded upon your subconscious mind. If I were to ask you “How are things?”
You could immediately begin to tell that story as you’ve been saying it for so long and
with such feeling too. “The reason I’m not good with women is because I didn’t have a
male figure growing up.” “My problem is that I was really small so people would pick
on me.” “I wanted to talk to women but I thought I might get yelled at if I did.” “I’m
(insert race) so American women don’t like me.” If I didn’t know better, I might
ALMOST believe your story. You tell it so well, with so much passion, emotion, as if
you were the world’s best actor. For some of you, it really is an Oscar worthy
performance.
It’s now time to start telling yourself how great things are going to be! How amazing
your life now is! How much of a superstar you are! Imagine that you had all the
connections in the world and that your life is exactly how it was supposed to be. What
would it look like? Who would you surround yourself with? Who would you no longer
surround yourself with? What kind of woman or women would you date? How would
your body look? How would you think, talk, act, stand? Really run wild with this. When
writing your story make sure you write it in the present tense “I am in great shape,
confident, having sex with Playmates.” If you write it in the future “I am going to be
having...” your subconscious will assume that it’s something that is going to happen in
the future.
Now after writing your story, you are to read it to yourself every day. Remember, your
subconscious cannot tell the difference between what’s real and what’s false. If you
start feeding it these new images of you being this superstar, it will go to work to
make that a reality.
What do you want?
It’s time right now to decide what it is you want from women. Do you want a great
girlfriend? Do you want to play the field? Do you want a wife? Do you want to play the field
and then have a wife? Keep in mind that the correct answer to these questions is whatever
you feel is best for you. Decide now what it is you want. Most people in life don’t get what
they want because they have no idea what it is that they want
Here is an exercise to help you get clear on what kind of woman or women you want in
your life.
Grab a pen and paper and at the top of page write “My Ideal Girlfriend” or “My Ideal
Wife” or “My Ideal Women” (whatever it is that you want) and then list her and/or their
qualities. For instance, if you want a blond, 5’3 middle-eastern girlfriend, write that. If
you want a 6’0 tall brunette, with amazing runner’s legs, list that. Be sure to include her
mental and spiritual qualities as well; fun, honest, trustworthy, kind, etc... Really run
wild with this list. Imagine that you are making a wish-list to God and whatever list you
make will be created.
When you make your list, you are sending powerful images to your subconscious to go
about finding what it is that you want. One time while laying in bed I decided that I
wanted a 5’3 middle-eastern girlfriend that was blond, had green eyes, was calm, cool,
has a great personality, and lived close to me. The next day I was woken up by some loud
knocking at my door. To my surprise, there was Neil, my condo complex’s maintenance
man telling me to “Put on some shorts. There’s this girl at the pool that you have to
meet.” As I had just woken up, I told Neil that I was fine but he was adamant about me
going down to the pool. Again, he said “Put on some shorts. There’s this girl at the pool
that you have to meet.” Knowing how much Neil loves women, and because I trust his
judgement regarding them, I put on my shorts and went down to the pool. Sure enough,
there was a blond, green-eyed, middle-eastern beauty who turned out to be best friends
with one of my cousins, lived right down the street from me, and for some reason up until
that moment we had never crossed paths (she was at the pool visiting her Grandma that
day).
After making your list, spend a minute or two looking it over and seeing yourself having
the woman or women that it is you want. This exercise can really work miracles for you.
It’s been said that your subconscious is one with the power of the entire universe, so get
the universe on your side!
You can also make a list for your ideal sex life; “My Ideal Sex Life” and list its qualities;
fun, safe, healthy, consistent, exciting, passionate, with women who are physically fit,
look great, taste great, whatever it is that you want!
Hour of Power
At least once a day spend some time listening to and/or reading something that motivates,
inspires, and educates you. For instance, when I’m at the gym, I have self-help audio
tracks playing on my I-Pod. This way I get a physical workout and a mental workout as
well. Many of the ideas you’re reading here come from self-help or spiritual works that
I’ve modified so that they can be applied to meeting women.
When I drive, I also listen to self-help audio programs. The same goes for when I’m at
home. I usually have something playing in the background as I do my dishes or walk around
my place. I also try to set an hour aside each day for the sole purpose of reading selfdevelopment material. The change in my personality since I first started this has been
tremendous. Try it for yourself. I understand that not everyone might have as much free
time as me so do as little or as much as you can with where you are right now.
Meditating
I want to recommend to everyone reading this to at least try the practice of meditating.
Meditating has been a God-send to me. It’s a great way for your body and mind to balance
itself, relieve stress, and produce endorphins. When you start to meditate, you will find
yourself more calm, relaxed, powerful, and at ease, which are all attractive qualities to
women.
To meditate, simply sit in a chair, spine straight, hands on your knees (palms facing up),
and begin to breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth
(or breathing entirely through your nose). Do whatever works best for you. If you’re a
really busy person, start with a minute or two of meditation a day and build up to however
many minutes you would like to do. If you have some more free time, try fifteen minutes
of daily meditation, or even better, you can meditate twice a day, once in the morning,
and once later on in the day.
You can also sit cross-legged or “Indian Style” to meditate however if you do, please sit on
some pillows or cushions so that your knees are below your hip-level. This will cause there
to be less strain on your back during the meditation process.
Having tried lots of meditation CDs and practices, my favorite meditation CD is “Getting
Into The Vortex; Guided Meditations CD and User Guide” by Esther Hicks. This is probably
the most relaxing and practical daily meditation CD I have found. There are meditations
for your general well-being, relationships, money, and health.
Hypnosis
A great way to overcome deeply embedded beliefs is through hypnosis. During hypnosis,
the subject being hypnotized is put into a relaxed/hypnotic state which renders their
conscious mind asleep and makes their subconscious wide-open/receptive to any ideas
presented to it. Hypnosis is a great easy way to install new positive ideas of success upon
your mind. I will be making some hypnosis tracks that will soon be available on my site.
Seminars
I highly recommend the practice of taking developmental seminars. In a day’s worth of
time, you can learn what it took the speaker a whole lifetime to learn. Seminars are an
easy way for you to grow tremendously and be exposed to new ideas. Many of the ideas in
this pamphlet are from seminars that I took.
Hygiene, Grooming, and Looks
Did you do the exercises in the last section? If you didn’t, go back and do them you lazy
fuck! I’m trying to turn you into a superstar! To do so, you’re going to have to do some
work.
I’m going to discuss looks for a moment before we get into approaching. Why? Because
they’re fucking important. Whoever says they’re not doesn’t know what the fuck they’re
talking about. Are they the determining factor? Sometimes, but usually not. However,
they ARE a factor. There’s a saying I heard by self-help speaker Brian Tracy; “Everything
counts. Everything helps or everything hurts but everything counts.” This means that
everything you do either works for you or works against you. With that said, let’s have this
area work FOR YOU! An attractive female gets hit on quite regularly and if she’s also a
busy woman, she doesn’t have the time to talk and get to know every would-be suitor.
This is where having an attractive look makes a difference.
This is such a simple area and one that can make the difference between an average or
unattractive male and one who looks good and will catch the eye of a woman.
My theory is that as your attractiveness goes up, the amount of work you have to do to
bed a woman goes down and the amount of things she’ll let you slide with also goes up.
It’s that simple. Attractiveness ↑ Work ↓. And a part of attractiveness is the way you
look.
Hygiene
Some of this stuff I am going to say next might sound silly or basic however I’ve taught A
LOT of bootcamps and some of the guys that would come to them didn’t even meet basic
requirements of sanitation and hygiene. How they could expect to attract a high quality
woman when they looked and smelled like a homeless person was beyond me.
At least once a day, take a shower, wash your body (especially if you just worked out). I
recommend getting a good shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner. Right now I use Hugo
Naturals shower gel as it smells great. I’m also a big fan of their shampoos and
conditioners. You can find their products at Whole Foods. There are a lot of great products
in this department, just find something that smells good to you.
If you have acne on your body, back, or face, find a good acne wash to eliminate and
hopefully remove that. Remember, every little bit counts. Take the mindset that with
every positive action you take, it’s increasing your sex appeal which will lead to attracting
higher quality women and interactions in your life.
For deodorants, I prefer the Old Spice brand as it’s strong, lasts long, and smells good. It
has a manly scent and women have told me that they like it. It also lasts long which is
great if you plan on going to a club, talking to a bunch of women, and bringing one home
and railing her brains out.
For oral care, get a good tongue-scraper that you can use to wipe any gunk off your
tongue. Take the mindset that YOU ARE going to be making out with someone that night so
you want your mouth to smell as sweet and clean as possible. Brush your teeth and also
use a good mouthwash to ensure that your breath smells good. I like to use Jason Healthy
Mouth mouthwash from Whole Foods as the products are good for my teeth and gums and
has my mouth smelling great. I also use Jason’s brand of toothpastes for the same reasons.
If your teeth could use some whitening, I would recommend going to your dentist and
getting whitening trays. There are some whitening trays that are sold in stores but I
recommend getting the higher end ones for the best results and safety. You could also get
your teeth professionally whitened while at the dentist’s office.
For after the bathroom freshness, I highly recommend Cottonelle wetwipes. If you’ve
never tried using wetwipes, I highly recommend them (they can be found in the toilet
paper section of any supermarket). Wetwipes are a great way to make sure your behind is
clean, which is especially important if you just used the bathroom and have a woman that
you are about to have sex with or one that is on her way to your place for a night of sex.
The last thing you need is a night of sex to be ruined because you were stinking up the
place.
Hair; Head, Face, Body
First, make sure that you have your hair cut by a stylist, not a barber. I went to a barber
for years (I didn’t know any better at the time) and my hair looked just like all of my
friends who went to the same barber. You want a look that enhances your sex appeal, that
is unique to you, so find yourself a good stylist, preferably a woman (we’re here to bang
chicks right?). Tell her you want a look that women will like, that will get you laid.
Right now my hair is long and wild and I love it! I’m middle-eastern so it curls and women
like it. A lot of people also think I’m Italian when I gel it and slick it back. I decided to
grow my hair out after seeing a pickup instructor speak at an event I was attending. The
instructor didn’t have any special feature that stood out about him, in fact he looked like
he was almost dirty and needed to shower and wash his clothes. However, as he was
talking about his one night stands, it hit me! At that time a lot of the women I was going
out with were asking me to be their boyfriend. Instead of getting one night stands, I was
getting all these boyfriend type proposals. As I looked at the dirty pickup instructor
speaking, I noticed that the thing he did well was that he gave off a real rock n roll type
look. He had the type of look that said “One Night Stand”, not “Boyfriend” so women
knew that they could sleep with him on the first night and not have to worry about any
talk of a relationship. I don’t think the instructor even realized the value of his look, he
was just trying to look like a rock n roll guy in the hopes that it would be attractive to
women. At the time of his talk my hair was very short, neat and clean (as was the rest of
my look). I ended up growing my hair and facial hair and sure enough, the number of same
night lays I had dramatically increased.
For those of you who are starting to bald, shave your head or trim it real close. Make
baldness a choice, not something that is happening to you. And for those of you who have
hair but choose not to do anything with it, do something with it! Remember, “everything
counts”. I often see guys coming into seminars and bootcamps whose hair looked like it’s
never been combed. A beautiful woman often spends large amounts of times fixing and
styling her hair. The least you can do is put some product in it. By the way, I prefer to get
my hair products from Whole Foods as they have products that are good for my hair. That
is the best place I would recommend for these types of products as you want ingredients
that are good for your body.
If you have any ear or nose hair, go and buy an ear and nose-hair trimmer from your local
Target or CVS. They’re usually about $10 US. One of the biggest turnoffs to women is nose
hair so make sure yours is kept short or nonexistent, the same goes for ear hair.
For beard grooming, I like the Norelco Beard Trimmer. I actually never fully shave. I
always like to leave some scruff on my face as I feel like it increases my sex appeal and
gives me a bit of an edge. Women will say that they like a guy “neat and clean” however
they get attracted to scruff.
If your chest and back look like a fucking forest, go and get a hair trimmer and trim that
shit. You can also do the same for your pubes. Women are much more likely to give you a
blowjob if that area is clean so it’s worth the effort to keep it that way.
If your eyebrows are too long, or if your beard line goes too high, go and have them
cleaned up. This will open up your face and make you look more attractive. However,
don’t let your eyebrows get too short as that will give you a feminine look. Just tell the
lady doing them that you want them cleaned.
Nails
Keep your finger nails short and clean. This doesn’t take much effort. Women will
sometimes look at a man’s hands so keep them clean. If you like, you can get a manicure
and pedicure at your local salon. If you’ve never had one before and think it makes you
gay, throw that nonsense out. Trust me, it feels good to have a woman massage your
hands and feet (they do that as part of the process), especially if she looks good. It’ll also
show you what clean nails look like. When you’re regularly dating high-quality women,
often they will look at your nails and hands so keep them clean.
Diet
Just as you want to keep your outside clean, you want your inside clean as well. Make sure
that your diet contains some live foods (fruits and vegetables) so that toxins are removed
from your system and that your energy levels are high. At least a third of your diet should
be live foods! The more life you put in your system, the more life you’ll get out.
Plastic Surgery
When I was a teenager, I had my nose broken in a fight and never liked how it looked.
When I got older, I got a nose job and I now love my nose and how it looks. It looks even
better then how it looked pre-nose job. I felt and feel SO much more confident about
myself after getting the surgery. It was like a new me had emerged.
I’m not advocating that everyone go out and get nose jobs however if there is some
feature about yourself that you would like fixing, go ahead and do it.
Exercise!!!
I cannot stress this point enough; exercise! It’s good for you, you’ll look better, and you’ll
feel better. When you exercise, your body pumps endorphins in to your system which have
you feeling good. With continued exercise, you’ll start to look better, which will make you
more attractive to women, which will cause you to feel even better, which will make you
even more attractive to women, which will cause you to feel EVEN better, which will
make you EVEN MORE attractive to women, and cause a beautiful cycle of attractiveness
in your favor.
The results are worth the effort! Find some type of exercise you like doing at least three
days a week and get it done. You could try kickboxing, boxing, wrestling, Jiu-Jitsu, Mixed
Martial Arts, weightlifting, Yoga, surfing, there’s tons of things out there. Right now I do
martial arts, weightlifting, and Kundalini Yoga. Doing martial arts keeps me confident, the
Kundalini Yoga keeps me peaceful, relaxed, and releases a lot of pent up emotion, and the
weightlifting ensures that my body looks good.
For those of you who have seen the way a woman looks at a man’s body that she desires,
you’ll know that exercising is time well spent. But most importantly, you’ll be healthy and
feel good. For those of you suffering from depression, exercise is a great natural way for
you to overcome this and to also release stress.
My Weight-Lifting Routine
If you’re brand new to lifting weights, here is a very simple and easy weight-lifting routine
to get you into shape. Please consult your physician before beginning any kind of exercise
routine.
Monday – Chest and Triceps
Wednesday – Back and Biceps
Friday – Shoulders and Legs
Before each workout you are going to stretch out. After stretching, you are going to do
five to ten minutes of some kind of cardio machine to get your body warmed up. Once you
are warm, you will do three exercises for each muscle group on its associated day. For
each exercise, you are to do three sets. So on Monday for example, you would do three
chest exercises with three sets per exercise for a total of nine sets. You would then do
three tricep exercises with three sets per exercise for a total of nine sets. Conclude each
day of exercise with one or two abdominal exercises, followed by stretching again to cool
your body down and also to release some of the lactic acid that has built up in your
muscles.
If you want to build mass, choose heavier weight for your exercises. If you want to become
leaner, do more repetitions with less weight to burn any excess fat off your body. Once
you become proficient at this routine, you can add in more sets per exercise, change what
exercises you do on which days, and also add in other forms of exercise to the days you
are not lifting weights. For example, on Tuesday and Thursday, you might choose to go
jogging or do Yoga instead of weight-lifting.
Tan
If you’ve never been in the sun, try sitting in it for a while. It’s good for you (as long as
it’s for reasonable amounts of time) and you’ll look better. Also, your teeth will look
whiter.
Clothing!
It’s SO much easier then guys realize to dress well and it has such an impact. The amount
of effort it takes to dress well versus looking like a slob is so minimal and the impact it has
can be so huge. If you’re reading this right now and have no fashion sense, don’t worry!
There is hope for you!
Let’s say you have zero fashion sense. You’ve never been known to dress well and don’t
know where to start. This is what you do. Go to any high end clothing store;
Bloomingdales, Nordstroms, Diesel, Dolce and Gabbana, and Guess, and ask an employee
there what would look good on you. Tell him or her that you are going to a club and need
an outfit(s) that look good. The employees there will usually be able to pick out one, or
several outfits that would look good on you. You don’t even have to buy the outfit! You
can tell them in advance that you’re new to this and are just curious as to what would
look good on you. It’s these people’s jobs to make you look good so use their expertise to
your advantage. Try on a few outfits. See the difference in the old you and the new you.
To have what you’ve never had before, you’re going to have to become someone you’ve
never been before.
I remember the first time I did this. I went to a Guess store and asked an employee to pick
me out a few outfits. The woman there did and the outfits looked SO MUCH BETTER than
what I had on. I then started dressing better, and now dress better than I did then. It’s
that simple.
Another method you could do is to go to any high end mall and walk around and look at
what the mannequins are wearing in those stores. The mannequins are usually dressed by
the hot women who work in the store so look at the mannequins and imagine what would
look best on you. Once you start to get good with fashion, it becomes a lot of fun. You can
also visit the websites of the various stores and see what kind of clothes, shoes, watches,
belts, sunglasses and accessories they have for sale.
If you’re ballin on a budget (going out with little funds), there are stores like Express, H &
M, and Kohl’s that have really nice merchandise that won’t break the bank. You want to
at least have one outfit; shirt, pants, belt, watch, accessories, shoes, that looks great on
you. At the very least you should have at least one outfit that you look good in.
Right now a typical outfit for me includes Diesel shoes, pants, a Guess shirt, Guess
Collection watch, necklace, and a couple of bracelets. I make sure that the top three
buttons are unbuttoned and I don’t wear an undershirt underneath. This shows a lot more
chest then most guys do but it also shows my necklace and gives me a sexier look. I use to
date a lot of Latin women and this was the type of look that they liked. As this really hot
wealthy Latin woman once told me “You don’t wear a hundred dollar shirt with a cheap
undershirt” when she saw me put on a Burberry shirt with a shirt underneath it.
The type of belt I have also draws attention to me. I have this black Guess belt with a very
large silver belt buckle. It draws attention to me and also to my crotch area. I sometimes
half-tuck in, half-tuck out the front of my shirt if I want to give myself a cool “I don’t give
a shit look.”
One thing I want to emphasize is please don’t button your shirt all the way to the top.
Leave the top two buttons (hopefully three) unbuttoned to give yourself a little edge and
if you like, you can roll up the sleeves. Another thing I want to warn against is please
don’t wear a black shirt and blue jean combo to the club or your work clothes (unless you
dress like a stud). First, if you look around the club, there are TONS of guys wearing the
same outfit. Next time you are at a club or bar, look around at all of the guys wearing that
outfit, then, notice how many of those guys are either with their guy friends or by
themselves. Even worse than that is wearing a black shirt with black pants to the club. I
have seen and do see so many guys doing that. They’re like these walking shadows that no
one notices. If you do have to do something like that, dress it up! Example, I recently
wore a black Gucci shirt to the club with blue Diesel jeans. However, the material shined
anytime light hit it and I also wore a black belt with a large silver belt buckle and a bright
silver watch. Every time I have ever worn that outfit I have ended up pulling.
Make sure the clothes you wear are form-fitting. If you are in shape, make sure that they
accentuate that and show that you workout. You don’t want your clothes to be too loose.
Too loose implies that you don’t care or know about fashion which will typically lessen
your value in the eyes of a woman.
One fun thing I like to do is to wear a suit to a club. Remember, you want to be the guy
that’s not like every other guy. A well-fitted suit conveys status and does much of the
heavy lifting for you. Every time I’ve ever worn a suit, it’s ended up as a good night for
me.
Necklaces, Sunglasses, Beanies, Accessories
I like to get my beanies and sunglasses at Aldo as they have cool stuff that looks really
expensive but is really inexpensive. After sitting on a $300 pair of sunglasses, I swore I
would never pay that much again for another pair and I’m glad I stuck to that promise.
Having lost so many at bootcamps for various reasons, I like to buy my shades from Aldo as
they are typically $12 or $20 for two. The beanies at Aldo are also made out of this really
great material and are not so tight like some I have bought at other places.
For accessories, both Guess and Aldo have some great inexpensive accessories. You always
want at least one or two accessories to add more variety to your look. Remember, you
want to be the guy that’s not like every other thing so give your look that extra touch.
Underwear; Boxers or Briefs
I personally wear boxers. Make sure that you have some boxers that would look good if you
take your pants off. After bringing a hot woman home, you don’t want the whole night to
be ruined because you were wearing some ridiculous boxers. Calvin Klein and Tommy
Hilfiger make boxers that look good and aren’t too expensive.
Shaving, Colognes, and After-Shave
As I rarely ever shave I’m not exactly the expert on shaving materials however I really like
the Barbasol Shaving Cream and the Gilette Fusion Razor. For after-shave products, I like
the Art of Shaving brand of aftershaves.
As far as colognes go, just go to any high-end department store and try a few to see which
you like. Right now I alternate between Jean Paul Gaultier cologne (it’s the cologne that is
shaped like a man) and Versace. Versace is probably my favorite and always gets a
compliment.
Cleaning
Make sure to clean your clothes regularly. You want them to smell good and be free of
stains. I’m trying to get you guys high quality women so put in the effort!
I’ve now recommended several things from exercising to dressing well for you to do. Trust
me, the effort is worth the result! The more work you do on the frontend in terms of
improving your looks, belief systems, and personality will mean that you have to do less
work on the backend in terms of meeting, attracting, bedding, and even entering into a
long-term relationship with a woman if you desire that.
Approaching
Before we get into approaching, I want to say that are very few always/never rules in
regards to approaching and bedding women. Think of what I’m telling you as guidelines for
success. Use them when they apply, discard them when they don’t. Also, the guys who I
have seen make the most improvements and progress in this area of their life were those
men who were coachable. These men were willing to analyze their current beliefs and
systems, and make the changes necessary so that they could have the results they desired.
They were willing to pay the price for success with women and as a result, they now have
successful lives in this area. You’ve had your whole life to try your way of doing things.
For at least one month, try my way of doing and looking at things. Sometimes a slight shift
in perspective is all you need to achieve incredible results. With that said, let’s begin!
So far we’ve covered the mindset for success and your looks. If you’ve done what’s been
outlined, you should be wired for success and better looking. I’m now going to discuss
approaching.
State
Before I begin talking about state, I want to say a “Thank you!” to self-help teacher Tony
Robbins. This portion on state comes from his works.
State refers to your mental state. We’ve all had those moments where we’ve felt “On!”.
We said the right thing, did the right thing, it was as if everything flowed smoothly. I’m
going to show you how to access that state at will. This is going to be as if someone is
giving you the magic keys to women.
There are three main components to state; physiology, focus, and language.
Physiology
Physiology refers to what you do with your body. If I ask you to describe to me how a
depressed person stands, you would probably say that they stand with their head down,
shoulders hunched together, spine slouched, and their breathing is shallow. Now if I ask
you to describe how a person who is confident would stand, you would probably say they
have their chest out, head up, spine straight, and are breathing deeply.
Try it right now. First, stand how you think a depressed person would stand. Stand up, put
your head down, hunch your shoulders, slouch your spine, and breathe shallow. It’s
uncomfortable right? Now stand tall, breathe deeply, stick your chest out, raise your head,
and smile big. It probably feels much better.
In my seminars I have my students do the exercise you just did and then I tell them to
stand like they have a ten inch dick. Imagine that you had a ten inch dick right now, how
would you stand? You’d probably stand like you’re the king of the earth. In fact, stand up
right now and stand like you had a ten inch dick. Walk around like you’re the most
powerful man alive, like you’re a king walking through his castle. A king walks powerfully,
majestically, royally. That is how you are going to walk from now.
The way you walk conveys SO MUCH about you! A woman can tell by the way a man walks
whether he’s a confident man or a wallflower, so walk like a king! The way you carry
yourself will have an effect on your state which will have an effect on the way you carry
yourself. So carry yourself proudly. Remember, you have a ten inch dick! That’s how you’ll
walk from now on, as if you’re the king walking through your castle. I don’t know how
many women have told me “The moment you walked in, I knew you were the one.” That’s
because I walk the way I described to you here.
This reminds me of a funny story. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I went to a pickup
seminar to see if this was real or bullshit. I walked into the classroom, took a seat, and all
of the students in the classroom put their chairs around me in a circle. Confused I asked
“What are you guys doing?” to which a student replied “You’re the teacher right?” Based
on the way I walked in, the students concluded that I was the teacher. One man said “Holy
shit man! You walked in like you didn’t give a fuck! I was ready for you to teach the
class.”
If you’ve ever seen professional fighters square up with each other during the “staredown” part of a fight, they both walk up to each other with their chests out. This is how
confident men stand. If you’ve ever seen the way drug dealers walk (I mean ones who are
“tough guys”), it’s the same kind of walk. Your walk says something about you.
One way you can use your physiology is whether you choose to smile or frown. A study at
UCLA took a group of manic depressive people and for twenty minutes they had them look
in a mirror, stand tall, and smile big. At the end of the study, none of the people suffered
from depression anymore. When you smile, it pumps endorphins into your system which
makes you feel good. Try it right now. Stand tall and smile BIG! You’ll feel good. Also,
when you smile at others, it pumps endorphins into their system which makes them feel
good. Smiling is a GREAT way to disarm people. It lets them know you’re friendly, a
normal person, and probably have something good to share.
If you’re not use to smiling, go and stand in front of a mirror and practice smiling at
yourself until you develop a smile that you like.
Focus
The second part of state is what you are focused upon. For example, when I was new to
the game and out of state, I would be focusing on me not approaching. Over and over
again this voice in my head would ask “Why aren’t you approaching?” “Why aren’t you
approaching?” “Why aren’t you approaching?” This would cause me to get tense, followed
by my posture slouching, my breathing becoming shallow, and my shoulders hunching
together.
Now, my focus is “The perfect set is coming to me.” Try saying that right now. “The
perfect set is coming to me.” It takes off any pressure that I have to actually do something
because the perfect set is coming to me. I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything to
make it happen. I either focus on that or I focus on what I’m doing at the moment. If I’m
out with my boys at some high end club, I can focus on the fact that I’m with my boys at
some high end club. I look good, I’m with my friends, and it’s only a matter of time before
the perfect set comes to me.
Notice the difference between “Why aren’t you approaching?” and “The perfect set is
coming to me.” One statement is constrictive and implies I am doing something wrong by
not approaching. The other is expansive and implies that perfect woman for me is on her
way.
Language
The third aspect of state refers to the language you use (the type of words) and your
tonality. When I was out of state I would say to myself “Why aren’t you approaching?” but
it was in this LOUD BOOMING voice “WHY AREN’T YOU APPROACHING?!?!?” as if God or an
angry parent were yelling at me. Now I say “The perfect set is coming to me.” In this nice
soft relaxing voice, almost as if I were talking to my best friend.
A quick side-note here. When starting out in this process of picking up women, be patient
with yourself. Talk to yourself the way a best friend would. All of us would have liked to
learn these skills earlier in life. Every guy I know that is now proficient with women has
said something along the lines of “I wish I would have known this when I was younger.”
The bottom line is that you learn it when you learn it so be patient and kind to yourself.
Women are given Barbie Dolls as kids, Cosmo and Vogue as teenagers and adults so they
already have some proficiency in how to attract their ideal mate. As a kid I was given GI
Joes, He-Man, and Batman toys (which totally rocked) however none of those toys taught
me how to get inside a woman. I had to practice, practice, and practice until I became
good at it. And in reality there is no one out there for me to compete with. I’m just
competing with my former self. If I improve, I do better. If I don’t, I get worse. It’s that
simple.
Now back to language and tonality. Make sure the words you use are either soothing or
empowering (or both). For instance, my friends who are true players say things like, “I’m
getting laid tonight!” “Some lucky woman is going to come home with me!” or “Damn I’m
good looking.” Some of my newer students however would say things like “I never
approach women.” They could have approached ten women in a row, not approached one,
and then say something like that. Be aware of the language you use, especially if you’re
using statements that include the words always or never. An example would be if a person
says; “I always get nervous when talking to women.” Even though the person doesn’t get
nervous at all around his mom, grandma, sister, teacher, etc... Make sure that any
statement you say empowers you.
Movement
A quick easy way to get yourself in to state is to move. As Albert Einstein said, “An object
in motion stays in motion.” If you find yourself stuck, unable to speak, at least get
yourself moving again. This will get you out of your head and back in to the flow.
An example of this took place recently when I was grocery shopping at Ralph’s. The
Ralph’s in Hollywood always has gorgeous women in it. One night while shopping there I
actually pulled a hot woman out of the line and into my car for a nice late-night kissing
session. But I digress... Back to movement. I was recently at the Hollywood Ralph’s
walking towards the right section of the store, when I see this sexy Mexican woman,
dressed incredibly well, going towards the left of the store. I immediately think “Well, I’m
going that way now.” The woman walks in an aisle and I walk in the aisle next to her. Here
is my conversation with myself; “What do I say? Tony, you know exactly what to say.
You’re just worried about what the fuck people will think.” So I grab my shopping cart and
start immediately running in place as fast as I can to get my energy flowing. I then walk in
to the women’s aisle and just as I do she is reaching to grab a can of cranberry juice. I tell
her:
Me: “You know what would be great with that cranberry juice?”
Her: “What?” (Kind of confused)
Me: “A bottle of vodka.”
She then starts laughing. I introduce myself, we talk for a couple of minutes, and I get her
number using the method I am going to outline for you shortly.
Let’s say you’re at the club and out of state. Start bobbing your head to the music, as if
you’re really enjoying it. Even if the music is something you don’t like, just start bobbing
your head, and maybe tapping your foot as if you like it. The main point is to get you out
of your head and moving so that you can take some action.
In State vs. Out of State
I want you to grab a pen and paper and divide the paper down the middle by either folding
it in half or by drawing a line down the middle. On the left hand side of the page, I want
you to write at the top “Out of State” and on the right side of the page I want you to write
“In State”. “Out of State” refers to those moments where you feel powerless, weak,
insecure, and anxious whereas “In State” refers to those times where you’ve felt
powerful, confident, and strong. If you’ve never had “In State” moments, then I want you
to imagine what they’d feel like.
You’re now going to write three categories on both sides of the page; “Physiology”,
“Focus”, and “Language”. Begin by describing what your physiology is like when you’re
out of state. Do you slouch? Breathe shallow? Hunch your shoulders? Do you feel anxious?
What does your body look like when you’re out of state? Now onto “Focus”. Where is your
attention when you’re out of state? Is it on you not approaching? Not knowing what to say?
Thinking of the perfect thing to say or do? And lastly, write-out what type of language you
use when you’re out of state. Do you swear at yourself? Do you talk in a loud voice or a
very quiet voice? Is your self-talk empowering or disempowering?
You’re now going to fill out the three categories for your “In State” side of the page.
When you’re in state, what is your physiology like? Do you stand tall? Breathe deeply? Are
your shoulders back and relaxed? Do you feel confident? Powerful? Now onto your “Focus”,
what do you focus on (if anything)? Do you focus on how great you’re doing? How much fun
you’re having? How much the woman or women you are talking to are enjoying your
company? And lastly, what type of language and tonality do you use when talking to
yourself while in state? Is it empowering? What does it sound like? Do you feel better when
hearing it?
Now that you have your page filled out, practice putting yourself out of state and in to
state a few times. Stand how you would stand while out of state, focus on whatever
negative things you would focus on while out of state, and talk to yourself how you would
in that state of mind. Then, change your physiology to your “In State” physiology, deepen
your breathing, and focus on and speak to yourself the way you would if you were in state.
The next time you go out and see a woman you would like to speak to, put yourself into
state and go talk to her. What you have here now is a method to make yourself feel
confident at will. You will no longer need alcohol to approach women. Instead, you can
simply put yourself into state and approach whoever it is that you want. Also, if you’re at
a club and something happens to through your state off, you can simply put yourself back
into state.
Spend a few minutes every day standing and walking around in state. What will happen is
that your nervous system will begin to accept this mode of thinking, walking, and behaving
and will begin to make this your default mode of operation. You will be literally wiring
yourself for success.
Modelling
If you’re new to the game, pick someone who’s look, style, and mindset for women that
you like and model them. See yourself moving, talking, and interacting like they would.
Try out the various methods, lines, and routines they use and see what works for you and
what doesn’t. Whatever works, keep it as part of your repertoire, whatever doesn’t,
discard it from your system.
I use to speak and mimic my old-boss when I first moved back to Los Angeles to see how
his style would work for me. Once I understood his style, I incorporated what worked into
my game and discarded the rest. Certain routines and lines will work for some people,
while others won’t. Do what works best for you. At the end of the day it’s about the
results you get, not what method you used.
Porn and Masturbation
It might sound odd for me to talk about porn and masturbating before getting into
approaching women but trust me, there is a method to my madness! I’ve heard of and
read studies that have said that if you don’t masturbate for a week, the amount of
testosterone your body produces goes up by at least forty-five percent! Now do you think
if you have that much extra testosterone in your system that you are going to go after the
women and things you want! You better believe it!
Since first hearing about this study, I’ve never gone more than eleven days without having
sex. To some people that might sound like a long time, to others it might seem short
however if less than two weeks is the amount of time you have to wait for some hot
woman to be in your bed, it’s not that long of a time. Some guys have gone months, years,
and even whole lifetimes without sex so eleven days to me is fine. Somewhere around the
six day mark it’s as if my brain starts to think differently. I feel more aggressive, stronger,
and women start to respond differently to me. It’s as if I’m putting out a different
vibration and they’re picking it up. Women who I haven’t heard from in some time will
start calling me out of the blue, others will start to become more flirtatious and sexual,
and sure enough, I end up having sex. Try it for yourself!
For those of you who watch endless amounts of porn and masturbate to it, cut that out!
Instead of using your sexual energy for something constructive, you’re now sedating
yourself and messing with your body’s endorphin and dopamine levels. Take a porn fast for
at least one month and instead of watching it, go to the gym or read something
constructive instead. It might take some will-power to cut that habit out, but the effort is
worth the result. If you don’t believe me, Google “effects of porn” and see what negative
effects porn has on your brain.
Swoosh Method
If you cannot stop watching porn or masturbating, use the “Swoosh Method”. The Swoosh
Method goes like this. In your mind’s eye, imagine yourself beginning to do the activity
that you would no longer like to do. Then, imagine a small picture of your ideal self
behind that first image. Then, imagine that you’re pulling that small picture back, almost
like a slingshot, and when you let it go yell “Swoosh!” and see that small picture smashing
through the original image and displaying large, bright, and vividly on your mental screen.
This process is interrupting your neural pathways associated with your old behavior. It’s as
if that old way of thinking is a CD, and every time you practice the Swoosh Method, you
are scratching and scratching the CD until it’s tracks cannot play anymore.
Types of Women
I’m going to talk now about some of the different types of women I’ve come across. I
would categorize most women into three categories; high, mediocre, low, psycho, and
crazy.
High Women
High women are women who are confident, self-assured, know what they want, and go for
it. They’re usually successful or on their way to being successful, have good energies, and
sex with them takes place fast. They don’t care about social norms or what other people
might think, they do what they want to do. These are my favorite women to meet as the
sex is great, their energy is great, and they’re clear on what it is they want.
Mediocre Women
Mediocre Women are women whose energy is so-so. They’re often concerned about what
others might think and value that over their own desires. When asking them for their
phone numbers they usually say things like “I’m not sure if I can give you my number.” or
“I don’t give my number out.” or “I just met you.” That doesn’t mean that all women who
gives those objections are mediocre, I’m generalizing for the sake of convenience. These
women are a lot of work from getting their number, to getting them on a date, to having
sex with them and usually the reward is not worth the effort.
Low Women
Low women are women who generally feel bad about themselves and will try to make you
feel bad in an attempt to elevate their egos. These types of women usually respond well
to negative remarks as they internally feel bad about themselves and the longer you spend
with them, the worse off you are.
Psycho Women
If you encounter a psycho woman, don’t walk away, run! Reasoning with them is pointless
because they’re crazy. Luckily, in all of my years of approaching women I’ve only
encountered two or three of them. This type of women generally do not like themselves,
are usually highly intoxicated, and if you are speaking to them or one of their friends
(even if it is going well) will become violent. Walk away or remove yourself from their
surroundings as no good can come from them.
I will give you an example to illustrate this point. One day I’m at a bar in Hollywood and
see this stunning brunette in a skin-tight black dress with an amazing body. She was sexy,
had a beautiful face, and a great energy to her. I would have put her in the high category.
We go outside, are talking, and my friends tell me that they want to go to another bar. As
I’m putting her number in my phone, her highly intoxicated friend (hereby referred to as
“the drunk”) comes up and says “Leave her the fuck alone.” To which the brunette tells
her “Leave him alone. He’s a good guy. You’re messing this up.” I respond with “Excuse
me. I’m Tony.” And extend my hand to the drunk in an attempt to disarm her or get her to
at least calm down. The drunk responds with “I’ll fuck you up!” to which the brunette says
to her “You need to leave. I like him. You’re messing this up. Can you please leave? Can
one of you please take her? (Speaking to her other friends)” to which the drunk friend gets
even more upset. She then tells me again “I’ll fuck you up bitch!” and puts her hands in
the air, fists clenched and starts walking up to me to punch me. As she goes to swing, I
immediately grab both of her wrists so that she cannot throw a punch and tell her “Look,
you’re not going to do shit, so calm the fuck down!” This surprises her and she takes a
step back so I let her go and her friends grab her and take her away. This is an example of
a complete fucking psycho, someone who is highly violent and cannot be reasoned with.
Crazy Women
An example of a crazy woman is when you spend some time with a woman, whether sexual
or not, you think that everything went well, they tell you how much fun they’ve had, and
then the next day you are treated to a six page text message detailing how much a
supposed asshole you are. Again, don’t walk away from these women, run! These women
usually have a lot of issues and baggage from their pasts that they have not dealt with so
they’re instead dumping it on you because you are a decent person and will not verbally
and physically abuse them for doing so.
Again, reasoning with these women is a waste of time. Usually they are very extreme and
will go from loving you to hating you and back to loving you again. However, the pendulum
swings are so extreme that hanging out with them or being around them is difficult.
Beauty Does Not Equal Perfection
I was once told “beauty does not equal perfection” regarding women and this statement is
something that I think is incredibly true. A lot of men think that just because a woman is
very beautiful she must somehow be perfect. This thinking causes a man to put a woman
on a pedestal for the simple reason that she is attractive. Before rating a woman at all,
get to know her first. Every woman, regardless of their beauty, is human at the end of the
day. They all have their problems, insecurities, and flaws. Does this mean that I want you
to look for the flaws in the women you meet? Of course not. I just want you to realize that
they are human beings just like you. Get to know the woman first before saying she is
perfect.
With that said, there are some women who are beautiful and have amazing personalities.
And in like fashion, there are some women who are beautiful who don’t have amazing
personalities. I’ve met women who I thought were stunning and I would put them in the
low category as their energy and personality were so bad. I’ve met women who were
physically unappealing to me however their energy was so good and they were so
confident that I would put them in the high category (although this did not mean that I
was going to date them). Get to know a woman first before labelling her.
Ranking Women
A lot of guys out there rank women according to a one through ten scale, one being
unattractive, and ten being absolutely perfect. For me, I use a one and zero scale. Either I
like her and want to sleep with her or I don’t. It’s that simple. I don’t care if my friends
like her or don’t like her, I don’t care what my family thinks, if I want her, that’s all the
reason I need to go after her. At the end of the day it’s about honoring yourself, not trying
to appease someone else’s standards for you. Go for who you want!
Universal Laws
I’ve studied self-help and spirituality for a number of years now so I’m going to cover
some universal laws that I think will help your game. If you’re not interested or don’t
believe in this stuff, feel free to skip to the next section.
Law of Vibration
The Law of Vibration basically states that everything vibrates, nothing stands still. While
you and I appear solid, if you were to place either of under a strong enough microscope,
you would see that we are composed of atoms, and within these atoms are protons,
neutrons, and electrons. Now what does this have to do with you meeting and bedding the
women or woman of your dreams?
Within your brain are millions, possibly billions of brain cells, and within these brain cells
are atoms with protons, neutrons, and electrons. Based on the thoughts you’re thinking,
you’re causing certain brain cells filled with billions of electrons to begin vibrating, and
based on the vibration you are putting out, that is what you are attracting into your life.
For example, if you are thinking angry violent thoughts, you are putting out a strong
negative vibration that is going out and landing on people who are in resonance with you.
These people will then respond to the thoughts you are putting out. Thoughts are things!
Whether people realize it or not, the thoughts they think do affect other people.
An example of resonance would be if you were to hit a key on a piano and a piece of a
chandelier nearby were to begin vibrating. This would mean that the piece of vibrating
chandlier was in resonance with the piano key that was struck.
I have two friends I go out with who are great examples of the Law of Vibration. One
friend is angry and tense, and sure enough, he usually fights or almost gets into a fight
every time we go out. My other friend is calm, happy, and cheerful and he always has a
smooth night whenever he goes out. I can take both friends to the same club or venue and
the angry one will attract an altercation while the happy one will attract a great night.
Why? Because that’s what they are vibrating to. Whoever said that “Like attracts like”
knew what they were talking about. Thoughts of anger attract anger, thoughts of love
attract love. So put out what it is you want to attract! Think thoughts of love, peace, and
happiness and see how people react to you. If you want to try a fun exercise, go in a
crowded area and think the most pure loving thoughts you can think, someone will
respond positively to you. I wouldn’t recommend trying the reverse of this exercise
though.
When I’m out on dates, I will often think loving thoughts towards the woman I’m with. “I
love you”, “You’re amazing”, as soon as I think the thought, I will see my date perk up as
if someone just poked her in the side. It’s because she is picking up on what I am
broadcasting. Think of yourself as this broadcasting antenna and the people out there as
radio sets. Based on what you’re broadcasting, that is what the people who are tuned to
your frequency are receiving. If you are broadcasting love, those sets that are tuned to
that frequency will pick it up. If you are broadcasting hate, those people who are tuned to
that frequency will pick that up.
When I asked you in the opening chapter to visualize yourself as being successful with
women, one of the reasons I did so was because this visualization process causes you to
send out a powerful vibration to attract people and situations that match up with it. It’s
as if you’re becoming a magnet for success.
Law of Cause and Effect
The Law of Cause and Effect states that for every cause there is an effect and for every
effect there is a cause. The reason this law is important is because like causes must
always produce like effects! If you do not like the effects you are seeing in your life right
now, change the causes!!! For example, if you’re not attracting women (effect), you can
change your bodyweight, look, and style (causes) to get a different effect.
It would make logical sense that if you were to talk like me, think like me, dress like me,
look like me, that you would get the same results as me, correct? So by simply changing
the causes in your life, you will begin to produce new effects.
Law of Rhythm
The Law of Rhythm says that there is a high and low or rhythm to everything. There are
moments when you feel energized and refreshed, there are moments when you need to
sleep. There are times when the stock market has soared, there are times when it drops.
There is a rhythm to everything. The reason this is important is because there will be
rhythms in your pickup. There will be times when you’re on fire and you’ll have woman
after woman after woman (this is a high rhythm). In those high rhythms, see what you do
and how you think. Then when a low rhythm occurs, simply take the actions you took in
the high rhythm to produce those effects again. Remember, cause and effect!
When in a low rhythm, don’t get too wrapped up in it. Just be aware that it is a low
rhythm and that your pendulum will swing again back to the high end. As you anticipate
the high and look forward to it, you will be putting out a positive vibration to attract it to
you.
Law of Polarity
The Law of Polarity states that everything has its identical opposite but in different
degrees. For instance, hot and cold are different degrees of the thing called temperature.
Hot -----Cold
The same goes for any of the polarities:
Light ---Dark
Hate---Love
Health --- Disease
Attractiveness -- Ugliness
Smoothness --- Awkwardness
Confidence --- Insecurity (I made these last three polarities up right now)
If you do not like what you are seeing in your life, simply move along the polarity to its
opposite end. For example, let’s say you think you are unattractive. By exercising, eating
right, getting a cool style (hairstyle and clothing), working on your tonality, and
confidence, you will have moved yourself from unattractiveness towards attractiveness.
Law of Relativity
The Law of Relativity states that everything is relative. There is not hot or cold, tall or
short, thick or thin, everything is relative. “Every thing, thought, and every act takes on
its qualifications only by comparison.” Instead of seeing things as they are, we see them in
comparison to something else. For instance, I’m 5’10. If I am standing next to one of my
friends who is 5’3, I might feel tall, however if I am standing next to one of my friends
who is 6’6, I might feel short.
The reason this law is important is because you want to make sure you use this law in you
favor. If you are new to the game, make sure to compare yourself to where you were
when you first started out. Some new guys see how their experienced friends are doing
with women and feel bad and belittle themselves for not achieving the same results. They
don’t realize that their experienced friends have spent a lot of time, money, and energy
getting themselves to where they are. What the new guys should be doing is comparing
themselves to when they first started. By seeing the progress they have made, they’ll feel
much better about the results they’re getting.
Law of Compensation
The last law I will discuss is the Law of Compensation. Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great
philosopher once said “Do the thing and you shall have the power.” We live in a fair
universe whether people realize it or not. The results you get will be equal to the amount
of effort you put into this area of your life.
By “doing the thing” (improving yourself and approaching women) you will get the results
you desire.
Here’s where the e-book ends for now. If you like what you’ve read, and want to learn a
lot more, I’d like to highly encourage you to go ahead and pre-order this book. I’m going
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