How To Play A Winning Hand - Even When You Don’t Have The Best Cards By Irene E. Taylor, Praxis [email protected] A Philosophical Question Is This as Good as It Gets? OR Is There Much More You Can Get Out of Life? Answer Some people get more out of life than others because they make better choices. If You Are To Remember Only One Thing From Tonight… Let It Be This How To Replicate Your “Moments” Of Perfection Tonight Lessons from those who do it best summarized by Kenny Rogers in The Gambler: “You got to know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away and know when to run…” Our Topic Career-Life Panning: How to Find and Replicate Your Perfect Moments Our Goal To leave you with one or two ideas that you are motivated to take action on. Our Measure Of Success Your e-mails to Praxis Partners with your progress, results, etc. Praxis Research  Hundreds of high achievers in banking, finance, law, engineering and technology.  Thousands of hours of in-depth interviews.  Thousands of psychological tests.  Hundreds of noteworthy achievements including: academic, philanthropic, athletic, innovative product/solution breakthroughs, and so forth. One Learning Success and achievement result from the Ricochet Effect – stimulating achievement in one area of one’s life drives achievement in other areas too. Example Don Jack Senior Partner, Lerners LLP Spinning/Pilates Instructor and… Avid outdoorsman Example Lori Kirwan Canada’s leading personal trainer, Fitness Coach, PHD Researcher and Spokesperson for The Heart and Stroke Foundation Other Significant Insights About High Achievers… 1. They are definitely NOT perfect – essentially we are all dysfunctional in one way or another. 2. Not born with silver spoon – most come from working/middle class. 3. Adversity and struggle characterize about one third of our total research pool. Example  John Brussa Senior Partner Burnet, Duckworth & Palmer LLP in Calgary 4. Unconditional support from a parent or someone close to them in early years is a major success factor. 5. All show multiple and repeated incidents of achievement – have developed a need for it in their life. Example Ava Yaskiel, Partner Ogilvy Renault LLP Exotic Adventurer/Philanthropist Ten Most Defining Qualities & Conditions Assess yourself: 1 non-existent, 3 low, 5 average 7 pretty good, 10 as good as it gets 1. Razor Sharp Self-Awareness (an EQ gateway skill)  Strengths/talents  What they aren’t good at  Their nature/personality  What makes them tick 2. “Fire in the Belly” – Intrinsically Versus Extrinsically Motivated  Intellectual engagement  Challenges, struggle  Achievement  Making a meaningful difference Example Dr. Jordan Peterson 3. Above Average IQ (raw intelligence)  Problem solving  Verbal skills/comprehension  Rapid learner  Superior judgment 4. Adaptability/Flexibility – Openness (EQ)  Intellectual curiosity – e.g., reads, travels widely  Intuitive  Future  “Out oriented of the box” thinker  Eclectic, sometimes eccentric Example Robert Armstrong, Senior Litigator, Ogilvy Renault Serious Photographer 5. Resilience to Adversity and Stress (EQ)  Views problems as opportunities  Motivated  High by challenge levels of perseverance 6.Interpersonal Skills, Including the Ability to “Read’ Others (EQ)  Are liked and trusted by others  Gets more from others because of this  Have great “gut” instincts about others Example Dale Lastman, Co-Managing Partner of Goodmans LLP, Camp Counselor/Law School Professor 7. Attractive Packaging  Energy  Sense of humour  Physical appearance 8. Disciplined  Strong  Gets work ethic emotionally vested  Willing to delay need for immediate gratification (high impulse control) (EQ) Example Jean Guy Coulombe President Metso Minerals Canada Example Jack Osborne before after 9. Strong Ego  Self-starters  Often who take initiative measure self-worth through their accomplishments  High need for control 10. Optimistic (EQ)  Expect  Have the best “glass half full” mindset  Recover failures quickly from setbacks and Different Profiles of Success e.g., Entrepreneurs Strengths: Weaknesses: • Adaptability • • Stress Tolerance • Optimism • Impulse Control • Risk-takers • Interpersonal Skills – • Independence Not always best team player (for some) The Sixty-Five Thousand Dollar Question… How to maximize these qualities and conditions in yourself? Answer It all begins with getting a better understanding of the hand you have dealt. Career Life Planning – A Five Step Process 1. Taking Stock – Self-Assessment 2. Reality Check – e.g., 360 Feedback 3. Goal Setting and Action Planning 4. Execution and Early Wins 5. Evaluation and Recalibration The 80/20 Rule 80% of the effort and success comes from 20% of the process – Taking Stock. Ten Practical To Do’s… 1. Develop Mastery  Creativity  To IS 98% perspiration think “outside the box” you need to know what is inside the box (completely)  Mastery enables you to find your “edge” 2. Re-Awaken Your Intellectual Curiosity  Start a reading program that will stretch your mind  Get involved in learning a new sport, hobby or volunteer pursuit that will bring fresh learning and alter your view of life and your world  Become an adventurer/explorer – seek out new places and faces 3. Set two to three meaningful goals (e.g., one professional growth, one family, one personal). Attach an action plan with a timetable and specific deliverables for each  E-mail [email protected] for follow up and reward. 4. Develop Your Appetite for Achievement - Making a Positive Difference  Take “self challenge” or Body For Life  Sign up for a language, cooking or home improvement course  Start doing random acts of kindness – set a goal for one a week  Spend 15 minutes once a week setting weekly “to do” goals and review what you achieved the previous week 5. Breathe life and energy into your key relationships  Begin to “attend” to those you care about  “Read” them, become intuitive about how to make them feel cared for and important  Give random acts of kindness right in your own home and office  Give the gift of listening and empathy 6. Become More Disciplined  Sign up for courses/programs that will increase discipline and focus  Get to work a half-hour early and plan a meaningful, challenging day  Decrease passive time (e.g., TV) and replace it with reading, walks, talks, etc.  Assess and strengthen your impulse control (EQ assessment) 7. Become A Master of Time Management  See “Getting More Time”  Caution! Give yourself more reflection and personal planning time 8. Sharpen Your Self-Awareness  Complete self-assessments (even those on-line or in magazines). Remember that 80% of the value is in the reflection and discussion (including with others)  Develop the habit and skill of asking for feedback (e.g., what should I do next?) 9. Love What You Do      Develop an emotional commitment with what you do for a living Learn everything you can about the “stars” in your profession and all the things they do to set themselves apart Don’t copy but learn and integrate things that play to your strengths Get to know and understand your clients (internal and external) on a deeper level. Find out what they value most Set “personal best” goals for yourself 10. Show Others that you are Authentic – The Real Deal  Stop engaging in any negative office gossip  Share your views descriptively and candidly even when not popular, with no hidden agendas  Under promise and over deliver What We’ve Learned… 1. “Fire in the belly” and self-awareness may be the most significant pre-requisite. 2. Strategies for success (and satisfaction) are different under age 40 and over age 50. Doing what you’ve always done likely won’t get you to a different end. 3. Almost everything gets tougher as you get older, so you need to work harder and be more creative. 4. Success and happiness are 99% perspiration (1% inspiration). It only looks easy from the outside. 5. Most of our high achievers have not sacrificed family and friends as the price of success. 6. They have learned to value and use family and friends as their support system and to keep them grounded. 7. High achievers are often high maintenance, who sometimes have unrealistically high expectations for themselves and others. They need gentle reminders and reality checks. 8. Almost invariably their “starting point” is human/relationship focused. They are interested in helping someone do something. In Closing There Are Four Kinds of People Today… 1. Those Who Watch Things Happen 2. Those To Whom Things Happen 3. Those Who Don’t Know What’s Happening 4. Those Who Make Things Happen The Choice Is All Yours