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Standard Script Coverage
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Title:
Title
Company:
Acme Studios
Format/Source:
Feature; Book
Adaptation
Writer:
John Doe
Circa:
Contemporary
Pages:
96
Location:
New York City
Genre:
Noir Crime, Action
Date Received:
Analyst:
1/1/12
Date Completed:
Jane Doe
Attachments:
1/1/12
Brad Pitt, Angelina
Jolie
LOGLINE: A sexy, female con artist, a reformed drug dealer, and a group of out-of-control
preppies get caught up in more trouble than they can handle, when a brick of stolen cocaine
finds its way into their lives.
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SYNOPSIS:
RYAN, LYLE and SLIDE (early 20s) are three arrogant, preppie, Princeton grads having a
night on the town at the Last Chance Bar. While Slide pontificates on how following the
teachings of Nietzsche has changed his life, Ryan hits on the beautiful BRETT (22), an au
pair from Nebraska sitting at the bar reading Hemmingway. Brett sits down with the guys and
has some drinks and eventually they are able to convince her to come back to Ryan’s
apartment. They play drinking games, but after a short time all three of the guys begin to
pass out. They realize that Brett has spiked their drinks with GHB. While they are passed
out, Brett robs them.
At the same time in Harlem, ex-drug dealer and current college student REGGIE (26) is
confronted by his old street friend FLY (20s). Fly shows Reggie a kilo of cocaine he stole
from a Peruvian drug runner and he wants Reggie to help him sell it. Reggie recognizes that
the drugs belong to a violent Peruvian drug cartel, led by the sadistic BOLAR. Bolar’s gang
murdered most of Reggie’s drug crew and gang raped his friend’s girlfriend. Reggie doesn’t
want anything to do with the coke, but Fly leaves it with him for safekeeping.
The next morning in Ryan’s apartment, the three boys wake up and realize what Brett has
done to them. Spured on by Slide, the boys vow to get revenge on her. They find a dry
cleaning ticket that fell out of her purse and decide to stakeout the dry cleaner to find her.
What the guys don’t know is that Brett is stealing money because she has to pay for her
father’s cancer treatment. However, her father has taken a turn for the worse and he needs a
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bone marrow transplant; an operation that she can’t possibly afford, even with the scams she
is running.
That night, Bolar’s gang catches up with Fly. They torture him, but he won’t tell them where
the drugs are. They find Reggie’s business card on him and throw Fly off the top of a
building.
In an online chat room dedicated to Hemmingway, Reggie and Brett, who have never met in
person, talk about their problems. Reggie sees that Brett really needs money and he still has
the brick of cocaine that he is willing to sell at a steep discount. He tells her that if she can
resell the drugs, she will be able to raise enough money for her dad’s operation. When
Reggie and Brett meet for the first time, to make the buy, there are instant sparks between
them and romantic chemistry. But Brett is too cold to let herself become close to anyone and
she takes the drugs and leaves.
While Brett is returning to her suburban home Ryan, Slide, and Lyle ambush her and throw
her in the trunk of their car. The guys tie her up in the soundproof wine cellar inside Ryan’s
parent’s New Jersey house, but not before she is able to send an email from her cell phone
telling Reggie where she is and what’s happened.
By now, Bolar and his gang of henchmen (RAMON, EDGARDO, DIAZ, CACERO) have
tracked Reggie down. But rather than take him immediately, they decide to follow him,
slipping a transmitter onto his clothes. Once Reggie gets Brett’s message he immediately
hops into a taxi and comes to rescue her.
Back at the house, the boys have decided that they are each going to get one hour to do
whatever they want with Brett. Lyle gets the first shot with her and he sends Ryan and Slide
out of the house. He does a couple lines of the cocaine and decides to empty Brett’s bank
account just like she did to him. But Brett keeps all of her money in cash and there is no
money in her ATM. As Lyle is rushing home he gets pulled over by the police and busted for
driving under the influence.
By now Reggie has made it to the house and he breaks in to rescue Brett, but Slide is already
in the hidden wine cellar for his turn with her. Slide wants to torture her and make her suffer.
When he leaves the cellar momentarily, Reggie attacks him with a bat. Slide lies to Reggie
telling him that they were doing a deal with Brett, and that she is actually at a local bar, while
they pull together all of the money they need to buy the coke from her. Reggie ties Slide up
and goes to find Brett.
While Reggie is at the bar, Bolar’s men break into the house. At the same time Ryan has
returned to the house for his hour with Brett and Lyle has been released by the police. The
gang captures all of them and ties them up.
Ramon, Edgardo and Diaz decide to go to work on the boys with power tools so that they will
tell them where their brick of coke is. Slide won’t talk, but Lyle freaks out and tells them about
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Brett tied up in the cellar. Edgardo decides that it is his time to take a turn with Brett and he
locks himself in the cellar with her.
At the same time, Reggie has returned to the house from the bar. He recognizes Ramon’s
car in front of the house and he realizes that the drug gang is inside. Reggie sneaks back into
the house and searches for a weapon. He runs into Ramon and Cacero separately and is
able to kill both of them. He then finds a hunting rifle, and makes his way to the basement
where he intends to rescue Brett. However, Bolar, who has been waiting outside the house
this entire time, gets the drop on Reggie and he becomes a hostage as well.
Bolar goes to check on Edgardo who we have been led to believe has been having his way
with Brett for some time. But, when Bolar checks on them he sees that Edgardo is dead. A
flashback shows us how Brett killed Edgardo when he became careless with his knife, but she
is still tied up. The sadistic Bolar then makes a proposal to Brett and she agrees.
Brett mixes four drinks and in one of them she places GHB. She then serves the drinks to
Ryan, Slider, Lyle and Reggie. After Reggie passes out from his spiked drink, Bolar gives
Brett a gun and she shoots him in the head. Then Bolar allows her to leave. Bolar and his
remaining henchmen, Diaz,, douse the house in gasoline and set up a bomb in the basement
where the guys are. They set the house on fire and leave the guys to burn to death.
It is at this moment that Reggie stands up and works to untie the guys. It is revealed to us in
another flashback that Brett didn’t really drug him and using a bottle of bloody mary mix she
was able to make it look like she shot him. Reggie frees the guys and they are able to escape
the house just as it explodes.
Finally Brett takes the coke and sells it to the man she was working for as an au pair. She
and Reggie then take the money and go to the airport together so that they can fly to
Nebraska and pay for her father’s operation. Just as they board the plane Brett reveals that
the coke she sold was fake. She still has the real brick, but she throws it away in a trashcan.
__________________________________________________________________________
COMMENTS:
This is a very smart and original script, as well as a fresh take on the noir genre. There
were many clever twists and turns, and though they could sometimes feel contrived the
overall effect was to draw the reader deeply into the story. The characters were also well
written and overall this was an extremely well crafted screenplay.
The story has a very strong structure. As complicated as it got, it never felt like it was
getting lost in all the machinations. The writer did an excellent job in telling a complex story,
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while never losing the reader. The stakes and the tension were constantly rising as the story
got bigger and bigger.
The characters were also well written.
They felt fully realized, multi-dimensional
people. Even the villains, who would have been the easiest to make into simple bad-guy
clichés, have their own unique personalities. Rather than trying to draw up a bunch of very
sympathetic protagonists, the writer instead made them deeply flawed human beings who
were easier to relate to than cardboard heroes.
There were no overwhelming weak points with this script. The dialogue was crisp and
witty.
The pace was swift and the story never dragged.
The writer was even able to
incorporate an element of humor to keep things from becoming too grim.
Overall, this was the work of a very talented writer in strong command of his craft. He
had a unique personal vision for his story and was able to avoid feeling derivative in a genre
that has been done to death.
Excellent
Good
Characters:
X
Dialogue:
X
High Concept:
Fair
Poor
X
Setting / Production
Values:
X
Story Structure:
X
WRITER: Consider
PROJECT: Consider
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Title-Writer Name
Project Id: SW_COVRG_001