1. pets
2. dogs

2013-2014 LAUSD Elementary Literacy Periodic Assessments
CCSS Mid-Year Writing Assessment - Opinion
Writing Sample Annotations
The Student Writing Samples are annotated to show their relationship to CCSS
Writing Standard 1. Some annotations appear in the sidebars. In the sidebar
annotations, exact wording from the Standard is distinguished by bold font.
Care was taken to use the exact wording of the Standard where possible. More
extensive commentary is available in a box at the end of each piece.
The student pieces in the collection were chosen with professional development
in mind. In nearly all cases, the pieces demonstrate every descriptor in a given
Standard. This means that even a single sample piece provides ample
opportunity to explore all the qualities of effective writing described in a given
Standard.
Ideas for Use of Student Samples for
Professional Development Purposes
There are many ways to use the Student Writing Samples to support Teacher and
Student learning. Here are some possibilities for getting started:

Teachers use the Common Core Standards to annotate one of the unannotated samples. Teachers discuss their observations with colleagues, and
compare their notes to the annotated version in the collection.

Analyze the grade level span of samples to develop a clearer understanding
of the developmental progression across grade levels.

Use the “Revised and Edited” sample as a model to help gather other
examples of Opinion writing as you plan for instruction. Consult CCSS
Appendix C and the In Common Resources for other samples of Opinion
writing.

Discuss the elements of effective writing described in the Standards.
In what ways is this an effective piece?
How might this piece be improved?
Please AVOID using these Student Samples for modeling writing instruction prior to
assessing. They can be used after assessing to support instruction and feedback to students.
Adapted from “In Common-Effective Writing for All Students” from Achieve the Core
Link at ccss.lausd.net
1
File Name: O5P Dogs are Best
Argument/Opinion
Grade 5
On-Demand Writing - Uniform Prompt
Dogs are Best
Introduces
a topic or
text clearly Cats and dogs can be very entertaining. But when it comes down
to the best pet, I would say the dog.
One reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have, is because
you can talk to them. And they listen to you. You can tell them secrets,
and how you feel. Kind of like a personal journal, except they actually
States an opinion Links opinion and
reasons using words,
phrases, and clauses
hear what your saying.
Another reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have, is because
dogs can warn you of danger. And sometimes that danger might be life
threatening. So with a dog its like you have your own danger alarm.
Also another reason why I think dogs are the best pets to have is
because they keep you company. They are perfect pets to have if you love
company. And with a dog, its almost like you are having your best friends
over. And better yet, if you own the dog, and it’s a weekday, its like your
friends are spending the night on a school night.
Another reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have is because
they need to get excersise. You will have to walk your dog every day. So
Provides logically
ordered reasons
that are supported
by facts and details
from the sources and
personal experience
even if you don’t like to walk, your dog and you will be getting automatic
excersise. Which will make you and your dog healthier.
Cats and dogs are very unique in their own fastenating way. But to
choose between the both of them, I would go for the dog. Even though
dogs require lots of responsibilities, and need maintenence and training,
they are still worth the effort. But most importantly, they are like a best
friend.
Provides a concluding section related to the opinion presented This fifth-grade opinion piece provides some context (“Cats and dogs can be very entertaining”)
and then clearly states an opinion. The writer creates an organizational structure in which ideas are
logically grouped in paragraphs to support the writer’s purpose. Each paragraph presents a reason
and then explains or elaborates on that reason. Transitions used within and between paragraphs
(“but when it comes down to”, “one reason”, “so”, “better yet”, “even if”, “which will”) provide
cohesion. A range of general academic vocabulary (“automatic”, “fascinating”, “maintenence”)
conveys ideas precisely. The well-developed conclusion restates the context and the opinion, briefly
acknowledges possible counterarguments, and reflects on the importance of the information
presented.
File Name: O5P Dogs are Best
Argument/Opinion
Grade 5
Revised and Edited for Student Use
Dogs are Best
Cats and dogs can be very entertaining. But when it comes down to
the best pet, I would say the dog.
One reason why I think dogs are the best pets to have is because
you can talk to them and they listen to you. You can tell them secrets and
how you feel. Kind of like a personal journal, except they actually hear
what you’re saying.
Another reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have is because
a dog can warn you of danger, and sometimes that danger might be life
threatening. So, with a dog, it’s like you have your own danger alarm.
Also another reason why I think dogs are the best pets to have is
that they keep you company. They are perfect pets to have if you love
company. And with dogs, it’s almost like you are having your best friends
over. And better yet, if you own the dog, and it’s a weekday, it’s like your
friends are spending the night on a school night.
Another reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have is because
they need to get exercise. You will have to walk your dog every day. So,
even if you don’t like to walk, your dog and you will be getting automatic
exercise. This will make you and your dog healthier.
Cats and dogs are very unique in their own fascinating way. But if
I had to choose between the both of them, I would go for the dog. Even
though dogs require lots of responsibility and need maintenance and
training, they are still worth the effort. Most importantly, a dog is like a
best friend.
File Name: O5P Dogs are Best
Argument/Opinion
Grade 5
On Demand Writing- Uniform Prompt
Dogs are Best
Cats and dogs can be very entertaining. But when it comes down
to the best pet, I would say the dog.
One reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have, is because
you can talk to them. And they listen to you. You can tell them secrets,
and how you feel. Kind of like a personal journal, except they actually
hear what your saying.
Another reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have, is because
dogs can warn you of danger. And sometimes that danger might be life
threatening. So with a dog its like you have your own danger alarm.
Also another reason why I think dogs are the best pets to have is
because they keep you company. They are perfect pets to have if you love
company. And with a dog, its almost like you are having your best friends
over. And better yet, if you own the dog, and it’s a weekday, its like your
friends are spending the night on a school night.
Another reason why I think a dog is the best pet to have is because
they need to get excersise. You will have to walk your dog every day. So
even if you don’t like to walk, your dog and you will be getting automatic
excersise. Which will make you and your dog healthier.
Cats and dogs are very unique in their own fastenating way. But to
choose between the both of them, I would go for the dog. Even though
dogs require lots of responsibilities, and need maintenence and training,
they are still worth the effort. But most importantly, they are like a best
friend.