Ted Hash-Berryman
Molest
List
Disclaimer
[1] This fictional work of art is a parody.
[2] Any views or opinions presented in this book do not necessarily represent those of the author; the author therefore does
not accept liability for any interpretations as such.
[3] Molest List uses the names of public figures for purposes of
satire and parody. Any other names are invented.
[4] The content of this book should in no way be construed as
factual.
[5] This book contains material some readers may find objectionable; parental guidance is advised.
[6] Caution: May cause drowsiness, nausea, dizziness, or blurred
vision. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops,
discontinue use.
MOLEST LIST
By
TED HASH-BERRYMAN
Inspired by true events
The original insipiration for Josef
Kaplan’s Kill List
Matthew Zapruder is a child molester.
Anne Waldman molests children.
Yusef Komunyakaa is a child molester.
Mary Oliver molests children.
Billy Collins molests children.
Patricia Lockwood molests children.
Rae Armantrout is a child molester.
The Dickman Bros. molest children.
Jim Behrle is a child molester.
Christian Bök molests children.
John Ashbery molests children.
Robert Pinsky is a child molester.
Anne Carson is a child molester.
James Franco molests children.
Kenneth Goldsmith is a child molester.
Seth Abramson is a child molester.
Steve Roggenbuck is a child molester (and also
molests tweens).
Tao Lin molests children.
Ben Lerner is a child molester.
Vanessa Place molests children.
Mary Karr molests children.
Sherman Alexie is a child molester.
Dorothea Lasky molests children.
Sharon Olds molests children.
James Tate molests children.
Ron Silliman molests children.
Joshua Rainer Maria Wilkinson molests children.
Michael Robbins is a child predator.
Dean Young is a child molester.
Mary Ruefle is a child molester.
Robert Hass is a child molester.
Tony Hoagland molests white children exclusively.
Heather McHugh molests children.
Li-Young Lee is a child molester.
Amy Lawless is a child molester.
Cornelius Eady molests children.
Frank Bidart molests children.
WS Merwin molests children.
Joshua Beckman is a child molester.
Phillip Levine is a child molester.
Alice Notley molests children.
Don Share molests children.
Gregory Sherl actually abuses women.
Frederick Seidel molests children.
Alex Dimitrov is a child molester.
Mark Strand is a child molester.
Richard Blanco is a child molester.
Ted Kooser molests children.
Susan Howe molests children.
D.A. Powell molests children.
Fanny Howe molests children in their fannies.
Marie Howe molests children.
Thomas Sayers Ellis is a child molester.
Thom Donovan molests children.
Tomas Tranströmer is a child molester.
Tomaž Šalamun molests children.
Joshua Clover molests children.
Anne Boyer is a child molester.
Sandra Simonds is a child molester.
Ariana Reines molests children.
Ron Padgett molests children.
Matthea Harvey is a child molester.
Nikki Giovanni molests children.
Bob Hicok molests children.
Jamaal May is a child molester.
Jorie Graham molests children.
Melissa Broder molests children.
Sina Queyras is a child molester.
Sommer Browning is a child molester.
Josef Kaplan is a child molester.
Dianna Dragonetti is a child molester.
Kasey Muhammed molests children.
Jean Valentine is a child molester.
Gerald Stern molests children.
Gary Snyder molests children.
Paul Muldoon molests children.
Matthew Rohrer molests children.
Sampson Starkweather is a child molester.
CA Conrad fucked a goat.
Eileen Myles molests children.
Elizabeth Alexander is a child molester.
Ana Božičević is a child molester.
Stephen Burt molests children.
Stephen Berg is a child molester.
Johannes Göransson molests children.
Geoﬀrey G. O’Brien molests children.
Mary Jo Bangs children.
Dana Ward is a child molester.
Clark Coolidge is a child molester.
Thomas Lux molests children.
Kate Durbin is a child molester.
Larry Fagin molests children.
Ravi Shankar molests children.
Linda Gregg is a child molester.
Derek Walcott molests children.
Donald Revell revels in his love
of molesting children.
Natasha Trethewey molests children.
Kevin Young is a child molester.
Elisa Gabbert molests children.
Louise Glück molests children.
Ted Hash-Berryman molests child molesters.
Ted Hash-Berryman molests child molesters.
Ted Hash-Berryman molests child molesters.
Ted Hash-Berryman molests child molesters.