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Gafﬁgan was phot essen in
Katz’s Delicat
Sept. 16.
New York City on
Gaffigan’s
new book,
Food: A Love
Story, is out
Tuesday.
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
Q
T ’S
Q: Which of Nicholas
Sparks’s books-turnedmovies does he think is
the most romantic?
—Jasmin T., Tampa
A: So far, the novelist says,
that title belongs to the
2004 ﬁlm adaptation of his
romance The Notebook.
James Marsden and Michelle
Monaghan star in The Best of Me.
“The ﬁlm’s become iconic.
I think the historic story
appeals to many readers,” he says. “It speaks to
the duration of love.” But
Sparks’s latest tearjerker,
The Best of Me, in theaters
now, could give The Notebook a run for its money.
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WALTER SCOTT ASKS...
KENAN THOMPSON
As NBC marks the 40th anniversary of Saturday
Night Live this fall, Kenan Thompson reflects on his
record as the show’s longest-running cast member—
and his extraterrestrial plans beyond.
Did watching SNL as a kid inspire you to pursue comedy?
It deﬁnitely inspired me to want to make my parents laugh!
What happens behind the scenes that fans don’t
know about? That we start from scratch after every show. People think we have a
bunch of things already shot. But it’s
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really like a brand-new
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busy.
Yogi Berra
Q: Which Major League
Baseball player has won
the most World Series?
—Mai N., Spokane, Wash.
A: The great New York
Yankees catcher Yogi
Berra is a baseball legend for good reason. The
Hall of Famer, 89, holds
the record for the most
World Series appearances, with 14, and wins,
with 10—as well as a career record for the most
World Series hits, with a
whopping 71! This year’s
series kicks off Oct. 21.
Thompson looks
ahead after
12 years at SNL.
–Kevin S., Chicago
A: She doesn’t, the host
says. “I go up one to two
dress sizes during the
season,” she admits.
What fans of the Bravo
cooking competition
(Thursdays) don’t see on
TV, Lakshmi reveals, is
her wardrobe of garments
in increasing sizes. “As I
gain weight, I just wear
bigger clothes,“ the
former model, 44, says,
adding that she’s “learned
a thing or two about
how to [dress to] draw the
eye to a preferable area of
the body.” But after the
season wraps? “I go back
to my workout routine!”
2 | OCTOBER 19, 2014
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
SUNDAY FREEBIE: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. TO ENTER, GO TO PARADE.COM/WIN. STARTS 5:00 P.M. ET, 10/17/14, AND ENDS 4:59 P.M. ET, 10/24/14. OPEN TO LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES (D.C.) 13 YEARS AND OLDER, EXCEPT EMPLOYEES OF SPONSOR, THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILIES, AND THOSE LIVING IN THE
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FACEBOOK. PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GEMMA LAMANA ©2014 BEST OF ME PRODUCTIONS, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED; ©BETTMAN; D DIPASUPIL/GETTY IMAGES FOR “EXTRA”; DANA EDELSON/NBC/NBCU PHOTO BANK VIA GETTY IMAGES
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© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
THE BEST DESTINATIONS
FOR 2015 It’s not too early
to daydream about next year’s
vacation. Lonely Planet’s new
guidebook, Best in Travel 2015,
catalogs the world’s trendiest
places to visit. Among the top
10 experiences for families:
a wildlife safari in Namibia,
sailing over the Great Barrier Reef
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Parade
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AMERICAN VETERANS
DESSERT SHOWDOWN!
DISABLED FOR LIFE MEMORIAL
A tranquil new monument near
the Capitol in Washington, D.C.,
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PUMPKIN PIE
SWEET POTATO PIE
vs
Pumpkins and sweet potatoes
are both in season at your local
farmers market. But which
makes the tastier dessert? In
many parts of the country, sweet
potato pie is gaining ground
over the classic pumpkin.
Vote in our pie showdown—and
get two great recipes using
McCormick Gourmet’s delicious
Saigon Cinnamon—at
parade.com/pie.
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PUPPIES
Ears ﬂopping, drool
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hilariously captured midshake star in this charming book from photographer Carli Davidson.
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It takes 92 minutes
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the earth—a journey
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awe-inspiring photos of
our planet taken from
his lofty vantage point.
Sprinkled among the
pictures are Hadﬁeld’s
fun factoids about life
without gravity.
4 | OCTOBER 19, 2014
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
PHOTO, FAR LEFT: ISTOCKPHOTO. TOP: PETER DAZELEY/GETTY IMAGES
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sd
eli
cio
us
by A L E X O W S K I
TRESNI
Th
ng
i
h
ec
t
om
all
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edi
wit
an g
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o
i
ets se
ss
rious about his obse
A
h, the sweetness of a childhood crush, a boy in the thrall of
his ﬁrst love. Except for stand-up comic Jim Gafﬁgan, the
crush wasn’t a cute girl with pigtails; it was a hot dog with
mustard. “For my ﬁfth birthday, my sister got me a package
of Oscar Mayer Wieners and a six-pack of Dr Pepper,” remembers GafThat pasﬁgan, 48. “She knew how much I loved my hot dogs.”
sion has never waned and now extends to all manner of meats and
sweets—a gastric affair Gafﬁgan chronicles in his new book, Food: A Love
Story (Crown), a sort of follow-up to his best-selling 2013 memoir Dad Is
Fat (named for the ﬁrst complete sentence his son Jack ever wrote). The
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
COV ER AN D
INS IDE PHO TOG RAP HS
by mIC HA El
EDw AR DS
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G
Kat affiga
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his ’s Del n loves
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not ids tr so mu the pa
goin y it,
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ho’s
Month 00, 2014 | 00
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
book is a brilliantly funny tribute
to the simple pleasure of eating—
or, more accurately, overeating.
“Last night I had the following
train of thought: Ugh, I’m so full. I
guess I’ll have some cheese,” Gaffigan
writes. “I can’t stop eating. I can’t. I
haven’t been hungry in 12 years.”
It’s part confessional (Gaffigan’s
idea of a food sacrifice is French
fries with no salt) and part travelogue through the mouthwatering
world of unlean cuisine. “I’m not a
foodie, I’m an eatie,” says Gaffigan,
who is six feet tall and not so much
fat as slightly circular around the
middle (he wears his extra calories
surprisingly well). “Doing standup almost every night doesn’t leave
me much time for culinary adventures. Mostly I just want the closest good burger.”
F
or this interview Gaffigan chose one of his
favorite New York
C i t y c h ow - d ow n
spots, the venerable Katz’s Delicatessen, which has been serving
cured meats to loyal customers
since 1888. It’s an old-fashioned,
no-frills foodery that perfectly suits
Gaffigan’s blue-collar appetite and
fondness for teetering, overstuffed
sandwiches. (Katz’s serves more
than seven tons of pastrami each
week.) In fact Gaffigan’s photo is
up on the wall, not far from shots of
Bill Clinton and Johnny Depp and
a newspaper clipping marking
Katz’s centennial (headline: “A
Happy Birthday to Heartburn”).
“Jim is a great schmoozer and a
super-nice guy, but mostly he’s an
eater,” says Alan Dell, Katz’s
fourth-generation owner. “It’s great
to see how much he enjoys the
food.” True to form, Gaffigan
jumped behind the counter at
Katz’s to joke around with the staff
and mingle among the hanging
salamis. “Jim Gaffigan?” said one
startled customer and fan. “You’re
working here now?”
Slinging brined beef might have
been Gaffigan’s dream job if he
didn’t already have one. A sometimes actor (the late, lamented sitcom My Boys) and frequent talk
show guest, Gaffigan is
one of the nation’s most
popular touring comedians, snagging Concert
Comic of the year at the
2014 American Comedy
Awards and solidifying
his reputation as one
of the best clean comedians around.
Much of his material
comes from his hectic
home life: Gaffigan and
his wife, Jeannie, live in a
modest two-bedroom
apartment in New York
City with their five children, sons Jack, Patrick,
and Michael and daughters Marre and Katie.
(He has said he has a “chronic and
acute case of children.”) When he’s
not touring, he makes a point of sitting down for dinner with the
whole gang. “Eating with your kids
is nurturing, but it’s not relaxing,”
he says. “There’s a lot of negotiat-
about the microwavable snack he
calls “a Pop-Tart with nasty meat”).
“I used to try to not do any food
jokes, because I didn’t want to be
known as the food comic,” says
Gaffigan. “But I had all these jokes
about cake and bacon and they sort
of pushed their way back into the
act. Or I’d start talking about weddings and that would veer into ice
cream. Talking about food helps me
connect with an audience. Eating is
something most of us do.”
G
rowing up the youngest of six kids in a
middle-class suburb
of Chesterton, Ind.,
Gaffigan learned that eating can
also be a contact sport. “You had to
eat it before someone else ate it,
whether you were hungry or not,”
he says. His brother Joe Gaffigan,
president of a Chicago-based brokerage and the second-youngest
sibling, recalls that at the Gaffigan
“I never stopped loving the
celebratory foods—hot dogs,
hamburgers, popcorn, the stuff
you eat at ball games and parties.
Foodwise, I never grew up.”
ing, the anxiety of things being
spilled, kids missing their mouths.
If you can get them to sit in a chair
successfully, you feel you’ve
achieved something.”
Over the years Gaffigan’s act has
slowly become more foodcentric, to
the point where roughly half his
jokes deal with the digestible (in
airports fans yell “Hot Pocket!” at
him, in honor of his signature bit,
dinner table “there was definitely a
competition for food. But there was
also a competition for attention.
Since Jim was the youngest, he had
to try harder to get everyone’s attention and get in on the family bits.
He got to where he could walk into
any room and talk to anyone and
bond with them right away. Jim was
always a hard worker, and that
shows up in his act.”
8 | october 19, 2014
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
cover and inside: styling, Jasmine chang; grooming, mary guthrie for abtp.com. shot on location at Katz’s delicatessen. photo, this page: courtesy of Jim gaffigan
Gaffigan refers to his five children,
with wife Jeannie (right), as his
“basketball team.”
So does his obsession with
what he calls non-adult foods.
“Oysters are an adult food,” he
says. “Blue cheese is another
one. But I never stopped loving
the celebratory foods—hot
dogs, hamburgers, popcorn, the
stuff you eat at ball games and
parties. Foodwise, I never grew
up.” As a student at La Lumiere
School in La Porte, Ind., he
pac ked away prodigious
amounts of grub, owing to his
youthful metabolism and training as a wrestler. “When I was
16, my sister’s boyfriend took
me to McDonald’s and said, ‘I’ll
pay for whatever you can eat,’ ”
he says. “I got down five Big
Macs, no problem. Let’s just say
I couldn’t do that today.”
Af ter graduating from
Georgetown University, Gaffigan got a job in advertising but
switched to stand-up when a
friend saw him in an improv
class and suggested he give it a
go. It was a great career move,
but rough on his waistline.
Being on the road several nights
a week makes it hard for him to
resist the siren call of greasy
club food. “Burgers,” he says,
“are my kryptonite.” He’s had a
few named after him, including
the Gaffiburger (a.k.a. a bacon
cheeseburger) at Schoop’s, a
chain in Indiana and Illinois.
“The top honor is having an
ice cream flavor named for
you,” he says. “That’s like being
knighted.”
F
ood seems to follow Gaffigan everywhere. After
shows “he comes
home with boxes of donuts or
muffins or cookies his fans gave
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The owner
of Katz's Deli,
Alan Dell, grabs
a bite with his
most enthusiastic
customer.
him,” says Jeannie, who is also his
producing partner. “Or people
send him anything with bacon in
it. It’s a constant battle between
being gracious to his fans and not
eating everything he gets his
hands on.” Remarkably, Jeannie
herself has managed to stay
slender despite her husband’s food
fixation. “It’s not easy,” she says.
“With Jim it’s kind of a whenin-Rome thing. He’ll ask if
I’m hungry and I’ll say, ‘No, I’m
fine,’ and then he’ll come back
with a banana in a hot dog bun
with peanut butter and jelly on it,
and he’ll say, ‘This is called a
Daddy Dog.’ He’s kind of a
bad influence.”
Maybe so, but Gaffigan blames
the kids. “The key to not eating
bad food is not having bad food
around,” he says. “But kids have a
bland palate, so you have to have
burgers and pizzas and stuff like
that in the house. If the kids are
having it, it’s going to be there.
How am I supposed to say no to
pizza if it’s right in front of me?”
Okay, so he’ll never be Slim
Jim, but neither is he throwing in
the towel. Exercise, for instance—
Gaffigan does it regularly, if
somewhat casually. “I like to
watch NFL games while sitting
on an elliptical bike,” he says.
“The problem is, I’d have to work
out twice a day just to look out of
shape.” He also tries to balance his
diet by tossing in the occasional
vegetable. “Look, I want to live as
long as I can for my family,” he
says. “I’m not saying I eat hamburgers every night. I’m not a proponent of leading a destructive
life. I’m just kind of self-aware. I
know what I like.”
Gaffigan's
new book,
Food: A Love
Story, comes
out on Tuesday.
In the end, Gaffigan is resigned, and happily so, to continuing his great movable feast for
as long as the road, and the burger
joints, will have him. After all, his
book isn’t called Food: A Like
Story. “I’m a big fan of cheese, but
when I eat it I feel bad the next
day,” he says. “I’m sure I’m allergic
to dairy in some way. But I know
I’m going to eat cheese again.
Why? Because cheese is amazing,
you know?”
10 | october 19, 2014
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
Photo: michael edwards for Parade
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© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
1
2
COOK’S TIP
Freeze individual
portions of baked
lasagna, wrapped
well, for up to three
months. Thaw
in fridge; bake as
directed.
Lasagna tastes
even better the
second day.
Assemble
in advance,
cover, and store
overnight in
the refrigerator.
Bake as directed,
allowing a little
extra cooking time.
+
COOK’S TIP
PE∏FECT
½
2
3
PASTA
8
1
1
COOK’S TIP
Family Time
1
Always let
lasagna sit for
about 10 minutes
after removing
from the oven—it
will be easier to
cut, and portions
will hold their
shape better.
Light on fuss and rich
in flavor, our version
of this classic casserole
is bound to please
lb 80% lean ground beef
small onion, chopped
tsp minced garlic
tsp dried basil
tsp sugar
(15-oz) can tomato
sauce
(14.5-oz) can whole
tomatoes, undrained
lasagna noodles
(15-oz) container partskim ricotta
cup freshly grated
Parmesan cheese
Tbsp chopped
fresh oregano
cups grated part-skim
mozzarella cheese
Basil or oregano leaves
1. In a large skillet, sauté
ground beef, onion, and
garlic for about 10 minutes
or until beef is no longer
pink. Drain off fat. Add
dried basil, sugar, tomato
sauce, and tomatoes. Bring
to a boil, stirring occasionally to break up tomatoes.
Simmer for about ½ hour
or until sauce thickens.
2. Meanwhile, cook noodles
in boiling, salted water until al dente. Drain and rinse
in cold water. Pat dry.
3. In a small bowl, combine
ricotta, half the Parmesan,
and oregano.
4. Preheat oven to 350°F.
5. In a 9-by-13-inch baking
pan, spread a thin layer of
tomato-meat mixture, then
4 noodles, then half the
ricotta mixture. Sprinkle
with half the mozzarella.
Repeat layers, ﬁnishing
with a topping of tomatomeat mixture.
6. Cover pan with foil and
bake for ½ hour. Uncover
and bake for 20 more minutes or until hot and bubbly. Garnish with basil or
oregano leaves. Serves 8.
PER SERVING: 390 cal, 25g
carbs, 30g protein, 19g fat,
70mg chol, 790mg sodium,
2g fiber
12 | OCTOBER 19, 2014
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
PHOTO: EISING PHOTOGRAPHY/STOCKFOOD
Table
Around the
BEEF LASAGNA
1
1
1
1
1
1
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait.
Kennections
By Ken Jennings
Great Things Come
To Those Who
WIN!
HOW TO PLAY
All five correct answers have
something in common.
Can you figure out what it is?
1. In March 2014, what
movie passed Toy Story 3 to
become the highest-grossing
animated film ever?
✎
2. In 1954, Roger Bannister
made history by running a mile
in less than what amount of
time, a long-standing barrier?
✎
3. In Great Britain, Prince
William and Kate Middleton’s
wedding, in 2011, was considered an extra “bank” what?
$10,000.00
A Week
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4. What TV series about New
York firefighter Tommy
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Don't Wait!
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5. What fashion magazine
has Anna Wintour edited
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WHAT’S THE “KENNECTION”
BETWEEN ALL FIVE ANSWERS?
✎
Play more trivia puzzles
by Ken Jennings at
parade.com/ken.
ANSWERS: 1. FROZEN;
2. 4 MINUTES; 3. HOLIDAY;
4. RESCUE ME; 5. VOGUE
ALL ARE MADONNA
SONGS
PHOTO: ANDY REYNOLDS
MAKE MORE
KENNECTIONS!
Hurry – respond ASAP.
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OFFICIAL RULES: ALL PRIZES GUARANTEED TO BE AWARDED AS
OFFERED. NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT NECESSARY TO WIN. VOID
WHERE PROHIBITED. Contest Officials will take a special early look
for a matching winning number in just a few weeks. A prize of
$10,000.00 A-Week-For-Life will be paid to the winner of
Giveaway No. 4900 if the timely returned winning entry for our
November 25th Special Early Look SuperPrize Event comes from
this promotion. If an eligible matching winning number is not
returned, an alternate winner will receive a $1,000,000.00 prize.
Award subject to verification of identity and eligibility. Winner
must sign an Affidavit of Eligibility within 30 days or alternate
winner will be selected. Principals and employees of PCH and
their immediate families are not eligible. Board of Judges’
decisions are final. Bulk entries will not be accepted. Not
responsible for lost or mutilated mail. Acceptance of prize
constitutes permission to use winner’s name and photograph for
promotional purposes. Subject to complete Official Rules
available at website or mail address provided. Entry must be
received by 11/7/14.
SWEEPSTAKES FACTS: Giveaway No. 4900; End Date: 2/29/16 (or
earlier at our option); Est. Odds of Winning: 1 in 1,700,000,000.
You Have Not Yet Won. All Entries Have the Same Chance of
Winning. We don’t know who the winner is. Enter For Free. You
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© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
Views
The author
(right) with
his family
in 1981.
Lost
&
Found
After losing my parents and my brother,
I thought I was alone in the world—
until I stumbled upon the family I never knew
By Will Boast
Then, practically by accident, I
found that folder. My father had
been married before he met my
mother, I learned. And he had
two other sons from that marriage. I had two half-brothers that
had been kept secret from me.
When I traveled to England
and first met Arthur and Harry, I
recognized them. I saw in them
my father’s eyes, Rory’s shy smile,
my grandfather’s blunt shovel of a
chin. Strange what gets passed
down through the bloodlines:
When we walk, Harry and I roll
our shoulders the same way. Arthur’s laugh is just like our father’s.
We were essentially strangers,
yet I felt an undeniable, almost primal connection to my half-brothers. Over the next couple years, we
would grow close; Rory, I know,
would have loved them, too. Still,
the question haunted me: Why
had my dad kept Arthur and
Harry hidden for so long?
At the time my dad’s first marriage fell apart, in the mid-1960s,
divorce was a stain on the family
name. My parents’ generation felt
they had no choice: It was the conventional nuclear family or nothing. So they hid away their failures,
their heartbreak, their shame. Add
in the famed English talent for
discretion—all of my elderly family kept my dad’s secret as well—
and I began to understand why our
house in Wisconsin held only that
one slim piece of evidence that my
half-brothers even existed.
My brothers aren’t all that I
found. Harry and his partner,
Rose, have two children, and they
are perhaps the most wonderful
gift this strange fluke of chance has
given me. The first time little
Charlie looked at me with his pale
blue eyes and called me “Uncle
Will,” I thought my heart would
crack open and all the pain I’d been
holding, ever since my mom died,
would come flooding out.
In the past half-century, the
way we define our families has
become more fluid, more accepting. Whether I have children of
my own, I see in my niece and
nephew a continuation of the
family line. The family they grow
up in will look rather different
than any my parents could have
envisioned—and will be all the
stronger for it.
Adapted from Epilogue: A
Memoir, published by Liveright
(a division of
W.W. Norton &
Company),
September 2014.
Copyright ©
2014 by
Will Boast.
14 | oCtober 19, 2014
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
Photo: Courtesy of will boast
M
y father’s secret was buried so deep I almost
didn’t find it.
A couple days after
my dad’s funeral, I was
sorting through the contents of
his desk. I was 24 and numbly
trying to put his affairs in order.
In a bottom drawer, jammed all
the way in back, I found an old,
yellowed file folder. It was marked
“Divorce.” Today, genealogy websites like ancestry.com make discoveries like mine increasingly
common. But I was blindsided by
what that folder told me about
my family.
I was born in England, in the
industrial city of Southampton,
where my parents met while
working at an electric blanket factory. When I was 7, my dad took
a new job with a plastics company,
and our British roots were transplanted to a small town in Wisconsin. A comfortable home,
good schools, an escape from just
scraping by—America was meant
to be our fresh start.
But by the time my father died,
in 2004, I’d already lost my
mother to brain cancer, when I
was 17, and my younger brother,
Rory, to a car accident, when I
was 19. In seven short years, my
whole family was gone.
I still had my extended family
back in England, but I was all but
alone in America. I was single,
with little desire to get married or
have children. I wouldn’t bring
kids into a world where the things
that had happened to us could
happen to them. I felt unmoored,
out of reach. The family line, I
thought, would end with me.
By Marilyn vos Savant
can you explain if,
and how, those who
choose not to vaccinate their children
against diseases
such as measles,
mumps, rubella,
and whooping
cough, are putting
others at risk?
CArToon: leo CulluM
—Aaron Petracak,
Irvine, Calif.
Some people think
that if other children
are vaccinated, an
unvaccinated child
doesn’t put them at
risk. Isn’t the risk
only to the unvaccinated child? The
answer is “no.”
Many people cannot be vaccinated,
such as those who
are allergic to the
vaccine and those
who have immune
systems weakened
from other diseases.
Also, some people
do not develop immunity even after
being vaccinated,
and many children
are too young to be
vaccinated. An unvaccinated child who
becomes ill puts all
of these people at
risk, too. In addition,
he or she puts other
unvaccinated children at risk.
Yet it is important
if a horse and a half
can eat a bale of hay
and a half in a day
and a half, how long
will 10 horses take
to eat 10 bales of
hay? —Craig Buttars
Malad City, Idaho
Try pondering this
logic puzzle for a
while, readers. The
answer appears
below.
aNsWeR: A dAY And A
hAlf. If A horSe And
A hAlf CAn eAT A BAle
And A hAlf In A CerTAIn
AMounT of TIMe, one
horSe CAn eAT one
BAle In ThAT TIMe. (A
hAlf-horSe CAn eAT A
hAlf-BAle.) So 10 horSeS
WIll eAT 10 BAleS In ThAT
SAMe TIMe perIod. WAnT
A MATheMATICAl proof?
WITh 10 horSeS, We hAve
6.666... horSe-And-AhAlf eATInG unITS. eACh
of TheSe unITS eATS 1.5
BAleS of hAY In 1.5 dAYS.
So 6.666... unITS MunChInG AT The SAMe TIMe
WIll eAT 9.999... (or 10)
BAleS In 1.5 dAYS.
Ask
Marilyn
to understand that
parents who decline
to vaccinate their
children will not be
swayed by these
arguments. Why?
Because they fear
that the vaccination
itself may cause
terrible harm. This
is surely mistaken,
but they believe it,
and that’s the crux
of the matter. Given
the choice of risking great damage to
their children versus
putting others at
risk of these diseases, they naturally
choose the latter.
This means the only
way to reach these
parents is through
education. Appealing
to altruism is not going to work.
Cartoon Parade
“it’s a breathable micro-fiber fabric but under a wool suit it’s still hell.”
COURT-ORDERED NOTICE OF PROPOSED SETTLEMENT OF CLASS ACTION
IF YOU ARE A CURRENT OR FORMER CUSTOMER OF BRIGHT HOUSE NETWORKS, LLC (“BHN”) WHO SUBSCRIBED
TO BHN FOR DIGITAL CABLE AT ANY TIME BETWEEN FEBRUARY 2005 AND AUGUST 19, 2014, PLEASE READ THIS
NOTICE CAREFULLY. YOUR RIGHTS MAY BE AFFECTED.
The United States District Court for the Northern District of Alabama, Southern Division (the “Court”), authorized this Notice.
A proposed class settlement involving BHN (the “Settlement”), if finally approved by the Court, will provide account
credits to current digital cable customers of BHN and cash payments to former digital cable customers who fit within
the definition of the Settlement Class (see below). PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE NOTICE, AS YOUR RIGHTS MAY BE
AFFECTED.
A Settlement has been preliminarily approved in the lawsuit Parsons v. Brighthouse Networks, LLC, Civil Action No. 2:09-cv267-AKK, in which Plaintiff alleges that Defendant BHN engaged in a practice of requiring Premium Cable subscribers to lease
one of its set-top boxes, and that this constitutes an unlawful tying arrangement that violates Section 1 of the Sherman Antitrust
Act. BHN denies all allegations. For more information about the claims in the case, please go to
www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com or call 1-800-585-2001.
Am I a Class Member? The certified Settlement Class consists of all persons in the United States who subscribed to BHN for
residential digital cable and paid BHN a monthly rental fee for an accompanying set-top box during the period February 2005
through the date of preliminary approval of the Settlement, which was August 19, 2014.
What Are My Options? You may do one of several things if you are a Settlement Class Member, as set forth below:
REMAIN A MEMBER OF THE
SETTLEMENT CLASS AND
RECEIVE AN ACCOUNT CREDIT OF
$30 IF YOU ARE A CURRENT
CUSTOMER OF BHN, OR RECEIVE
A CASH PAYMENT OF $20 IF YOU
ARE A FORMER CUSTOMER OF
BHN.
If you are a current customer of BHN, you will receive a $30 account credit
for services not currently subscribed to. You will have to elect the services to which
the credit should be applied by submitting an Election Form to BHN via the online
portal at www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com no later than April 15, 2015.
See www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com for more details.
If you are a former customer of BHN, you will have to submit a claim form to
receive your cash payment of $20 from BHN. You can obtain a claim form at
www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com, or by calling 1-800-585-2001. Your
Claim Form must be postmarked by April 15, 2015.
You will be issued your account credit or, if you are a former customer, your
check, if and when the Court grants final approval of the Settlement, and any appeals
are resolved in favor of the Settlement. The process for final approval and allocation
and distribution of funds takes time; please be patient.
ASK TO BE EXCLUDED
Get no credit or payment. If you opt out, you may retain your own lawyer at
(“OPT OUT”)
your own expense and pursue your own claims against BHN. You must submit a
request to be excluded postmarked no later than December 16, 2014. See
www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com, or call 1-800-585-2001 for instructions on
how to opt out of the Settlement.
OBJECT TO THE SETTLEMENT
If you do not agree with the Settlement, you can file with the Court an
objection explaining why you do not agree with the Settlement. You must submit your
written objection postmarked no later than December 16, 2014. See
www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com, or call 1-800-585-2001 for instructions on
how to object to the Settlement.
GO TO THE FINAL FAIRNESS
If you file an objection to the Settlement, you can attend and request to be
HEARING
heard at the Final Fairness Hearing, either personally or through an attorney (whom
you may retain at your own expense), at which time the Court will make a final
decision as to whether the proposed Settlement is fair to all members of the
Settlement Class. You must file a request to appear at the Final Fairness Hearing no
later than December 16, 2014. See www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com, or
call 1-800-585-2001 for instructions on how to file a request to appear at the Final
Fairness Hearing, which will be held on January 30, 2015, at 9:00 a.m.
FOR MORE INFORMATION go to www.brighthouseclassactionsettlement.com or call 1-800-585-2001
© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved
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Market Value is an estimate based on industry data such as published and as-sold prices for the same or comparable products in a survey of major online and/or ofine retailers. Graphics and System Memory (SDRAM): GB means 1 billion
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Intel Core, Intel Inside, Intel Inside Logo, Intel vPro, Itanium, Itanium Inside, Pentium, Pentium Inside, vPro Inside, Xeon, Xeon Phi, and Xeon Inside are trademarks of Intel Corporation in the U.S. and/or other countries. Microsoft, Windows,
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© PARADE Publications 2014. All rights reserved