Employee Success Toolkit
Tool #13
Magic Words that Change
Negative to Positive
Copyright Harriet Meyerson 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Some Everyday Words Can Be
Detrimental
 How often do you think about the meanings of
the words that you use every day?
 Do you just say what flows naturally from your
mouth?
 Some common words may actually create
negative relationships with your co-workers,
managers and customers.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
PROBLEMS Become SITUATIONS
Instead of saying,
“I have a difficult problem at work.”,
try saying,
“I have a difficult situation at work.”
 A problem seems like it will always be there.
 A situation seems temporary and solvable.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
ALWAYS and NEVER Become
OFTEN and SELDOM
 “Always” and “Never” are
negative words.
 They are rarely true and
exaggerate a situation.
 They are usually used to
criticize.
 People feel blamed and
attacked.
 They become defensive.
 They may focus on your
exaggeration and ignore your
message.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Become Positive by Using
OFTEN and SELDOM
Negative:
“You never help me with the filing. You
always leave the charts for me to file.”
Positive:
“Since you seldom seem to have time to
help me file the charts, I often have to
stay late. Can we work out a plan to
share the filing?”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
SHOULD HAVE Becomes COULD HAVE
 Using “should have” creates
condemnation and guilt for
something that has already
been done and cannot be
changed.
“You should have worked on that
report first.”
 The words “could have” don’t
condemn, they imply choice,
allowing the experience to
become a lesson.
“You could have worked on that
report first and saved the filing for
later.”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
BAD Becomes UNWISE
 “Bad” is a judgment of a person’s character
and causes resentment.
“It was a bad idea to take time off when we had a
deadline to meet.”
 “Unwise” refers to the natural consequences of
the person’s actions and doesn’t judge their
character.
“It wasn’t very wise to take time off when we had a
deadline to meet. Everyone was stressed by having to
do more than their share.”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
FAULTS Become DIFFERENCES
 Using the word, “faults”, is judging someone’s
actions as right or wrong.
“One of my co-worker’s faults is that her desk is always
a mess.”
 Using the word, “differences” , removes the
critical tone because you are pointing out how
you are different, not that one person is right
or wrong.
“One of the differences between us is that her desk is
cluttered while I like everything put away.”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
MISTAKES Become VALUABLE LESSONS
 Using the word, “mistakes”,
makes others feel ashamed
and stifles creativity.
“You made a mistake.”
 Using the words, “valuable
lessons”, gives others
something positive to do - to
learn from their actions.
“There is a valuable lesson in what
you did. What did you learn from
it?”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
MUST Becomes PREFER
 Using the word, “must”,
adds stress to your life.
“I must finish everything on my
task list by 5 PM.”
 Using the word, “prefer” ,
doesn’t add stress and is
more realistic.
“I would prefer to finish
everything on my task list by 5
PM, but if I don’t, I’m still
making progress.”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
PLEASE Becomes WOULD YOU PLEASE
 Even if you are trying to sound
pleasant, the word “please” can
sound like a demand.
“Please have this completed by 3PM.”
 Using the words, “would you
please”, softens your request
because it gives a person a
choice, and you are more likely
to get cooperation without
resentment.
“Would you please have this
completed by 3 PM?”
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Magic Actions

In addition to using magic words,
there are magic actions you can take
to create a more positive workplace.
1. Smile - it’s the international language
that brings happiness to others.
2. Show appreciation to your coworkers, and offer to help when
necessary.
3. Bring in cookies or other goodies.
4. Post cartoons and inspiring quotes on
the bulletin board.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Watch Your Tone of Voice
 Avoid using a critical tone of voice or sarcasm.
 It will cancel out the positive words that you are
using.
 If you are upset about something, use positive
words to explain the situation in a calm and
reasonable tone of voice.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Body Language Speaks Louder than Words
 Your body language should
reflect your words, or you
may be sending mixed
messages.
 People will believe your body
language more than your
words.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Be a Role Model
 By keeping a positive
outlook, and using positive
words, you can be a positive
role model for others.
 If you are persistent, others
will get on the positive bandwagon with you.
 It only takes one person to
start making a difference.
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change
Negative to Positive
Quiz & Discussion Questions
Copyright Harriet Meyerson 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Question 1
What are some situations
where you might run into
problems using negative
words?
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Question 2
What are some words you can
use to get cooperation from coworkers without creating
resentment?
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Question 3
What are the consequences to
using the words “always” and
“never”?
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Question 4
What word, when used towards
a co-worker, implies judgment
of a person’s character?
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Question 5
What are three other things
you can do to change a
negative work environment
into a positive one?
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com
Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive
Set Your Goals
What are your
three
main goals to change
negative into positive?
© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com