By the way I like the Mr. T and I... Well I thought you guys were hip but ob-

Interview with Jimmy Pop
By the way I like the Mr. T and I saw,
who else did I see on the cover? Alf.
Corey Feldman, Bob’s Big Boy. (On the
cover of issue #5 of TWWBAMBPIEW
Tight Pants)
Corey Feldman’s weird.
You guys are sponsored by Puma
right?
Everybody is.
OK, Stephen Baldwin is also; do
you have any comments?
Stephen Baldwin, is he the
dumb one?
He’s the blonde one that doesn’t
do as much.
Yeah, I’m down with that.
He’s in the new Flinstones movie.
Oh that’s right, I saw him in
the previews. Why would they
make a second Flinstones
movie?
I know!
I don’t know, Rosie O’Donnell,
what was she doing in the first
one?
So you’ve seen the Disney cartoon The Little Mermaid
Yes.
And you know how the girl sings
and how you toured with the Hippos. Don’t
you think they should open their show with
the middle of the stage opening and Ariel
coming out of a shell and going Ahh Ahh
and singing the song from the Little
Mermaid?
Actually it’s funny because before they
had a record deal they didn’t have a lot
of money and on Friday nights I used to
pay Ariel to do that at my apartment. He
used to come out of the basement but I
would make him sing Pet Shop Boys
songs. Yeah. West End Girls (complete
with dance moves) It was hot.
Why are you always wearing Drive-Thru
Records shirts?
They’re friends of mine. And they directed The Bad Touch video.
Why did you go to San Francisco for a day
to do TRL?
You don’t like TRL?
I didn’t say I don’t like TRL, I just think it
was crazy to go all the way to San
Francisco on like your one day off.
Well I thought you guys were hip but obviously you don’t realize that they can
tape programs. I was in San Francisco
for a few days, like I didn’t do it on
Monday.
Ohhhh. But it’s TRL, Total Request LIVE.
It’s never live and you know
what, what’s today, Saturday,
so what they’ll do is they’ll
take the votes from Friday
and use them for the show
Monday. I figured they pick
the videos. There’s no way; I
mean who the fuck would
vote for Mandy Moore? Ya
know, but it turns out people
are, scary as it is.
Were you guys on there for the
VJ thing today? (When they do
the contest to pick the next VJ)
Yesterday, it was aired today.
Oh. Cause we’re like we can’t
make it there how are they
gonna make it there and you
got here before the show
started. (It was in DC)
Yeah, we taped it before our
show last night.
OK, that makes much more
sense.
With Ananda.
I do not like her.
I don’t either. (High five over mutual dislike of Ananda)
We decided that you’re an evil genius. You
make really good analogies for things.
I don’t have any friends. I spend a lot of
time alone in my apartment.
Is it a skill or is it something you’re born
with?
The ability to be stupid, I’ve always been
really good at that. I have nothing else
going for me. Like every job I’ve ever
had, like I fixed vacuum cleaners, they
fired me, I had another job fixing diesel
trucks, they fired me, but when it comes
to being a Mongoloid, right here baby.
If you could have any kind of super power
for one day what would it be?
I would be a good speller and my name
would be Laceres, just because I like that
name.
OK, suggestion, you may have absolutely no
say in this but we were looking at the shirts to roc to rock a block party at the drop of a
today. First of all, all the girly shirts - exhat with a band it would be ALL beactly the same. There were 9 guy shirts.
cause Milo is kind of (making a face to imYou should have a variety in the girly shirts.
ply that he’s quiet).
Well, better yet we’re working on 3.14
I love him.
panties.
Yeah he’s cool.
That’s hot.
He’s a biochemist.
And no guy, well maybe at the club toTheir soundman, he’ll go on stage and
night they would, but normally no guy
he’ll sound check all of their instruments
would wear them. I want to have a baland he’ll do it naked. I did a whole your
ance defiantly.
with them in Germany for like 3 weeks
(After their show that night at the 9:30 club
and I come in at 2 o’clock in the afterthere was a dance club type thing for gay
noon and there he is, playing the guitar,
guys and all these guys came dressed in
playing the bass, completely naked.
leather and equipped with whips).
That’s so funny. Which Golden Girl would
Quick suggestion because the way they had
you have sex with?
the shirts up tonight they looked like halterBea Arthur.
tops and that would be pretty cool.
Ok, maybe you don't like Blink because you
That would be. Ya know what, I don’t
played AKA made fun of one of their songs,
think there are any that say BHG on
but we think you and Nerf Herder should
them. But I also want to do girly colors
tour with Blink 182 and Fenix Tx and you
on regular T-shirts, not just the stupid
can call it the Icky Boy Tour.
fuckin look at my tits shirts.
Fenix is ok, but blink is great. I want to
I don’t know who comes up with the way
get on the tour with Korn, Hole, and
the shirts are designed but last tour I got
Orgy.
one and I tried on a medium then I tried on
Is that a real tour or did you just make that
a large and they’re the same length and the
up?
only thing is it gets wider.
No, I'm putting it together and it can be
That's because we have to make those for
called the Korn Hole Orgy. (He then
Lupus. He has manboobs.
heartily laughs at his own joke, and we
Great use of manboobs. We love that word.
chuckle)
That is a good word, isn’t it?
What was your SAT score?
You should write “crucified and all I got
I took it twice. The first time I got in the
was this lousy T-shirt” on one.
1200's and the second time the 1300's
That's good. Actually when we first
and they take the average of the two
started we made a demo tape and it was
scores.
called “The Original Motion Picture
No, they take the two best scores and put
Soundtrack To Hitler's Handicapped
them together, oh well it depends on the
Helpers" and on the back it said “My
school you're applying to I think.
grandparents went to Auswitch and all I
Well actually, I think you're a lot
got was this lousy T-shirt.” I was shocked
younger than me, and they've probably
because our managers were all Jewish
changed the rules since then. When I
and they let us make it.
took it we had to do it with a rock.
You should play undone. That’s more of a
How did you find out about the zine? (He
statement than a question. Cause there’s a
had asked Regis to find our zine because we
recording going around of you guys singing
had written a story about seeing BHG play
it.
on their tour with Goldfinger and The
The Wu-Tang Clan thing? (Wu-Tang Clan
Hippos)
ain’t nothin to fuck with)
I am all knowing. I spread my tentacles.
yeah.
(He then stretched his arms out and
We do sometimes.
squeezed our shoulders.)
Do you prefer ALL or the Descendants?
Ya know what, if I was stuck in the car I
prefer the Descendants but if I was going
Bloodhound Gang Bonanza
featuring Nerf Herder, A, and Isabelle’s Gift
So we decided to see Bloodhound Gang a
bunch more times since they were touring
again and all. The first show was in
Connecticut. Thanks to the lovely people at
Fat Wreck Chords we were able to bring
cameras in. One of Ben’s friends told him
the show was sold out, but then the day before he called and they said there were
“plenty of tickets available.” So we demanded that he come cause we needed to
use him for directions since he’s from CT.
(joking,joking). So we got lost. But it was
right near the club, which was in a residential neighborhood like what the fuck, so it
wasn't bad. When we passed by there was
the hugest line since the invention of lines
but since we had to park 5 miles away by
the time we got back it wasn’t too bad. On
line we saw Ben’s friend. At an Atari’s
show a while back he had given Jackie his
card from some grocery store cause she
works at Waldbaum’s and refuses to let anyone she knows shop at any other grocery
store. Whenever we pass a Waldbaum’s or
even a Waldbaum’s truck she makes a ‘W’
symbol. I think it’s subconscious at this
point. Then we went to the box office and
picked up tickets. The guy inside was
insanely tall and he was in this tiny booth
so it looked awful funny. We came in the
middle of Isabelle’s Gift’s set. I very much
do not enjoy them. I hate saying bad things
about bands though so I’ll leave it at that.
Next was A. I had never heard of them but
before we had gone to the merch table and
there was a shirt that said “fucking A”
which is beyond hot. So Jackie wanted to
get it but they only had large sizes. She
asked the merch man (who we later found
out was Regis) if they came in smaller sizes
and he was like no but
there are girly shirts and
we were like but it
doesn’t say fuckin which
is the whole reasoning
for the purchase. He said
he would write it on with
a marker, which was
quite possibly the funniest thing said all evening.
But we declined. I really
liked A.
They were
adorable.
They’re
from
England and
claimed to
have a hit
song in
Germany
though this
is questionable. Ok,
actually I
completely
believe it
cause it was
a fuckin
good song.
By the second time I saw them I was totally singing
along. And then came Nerf Herder, who
I’ve been dying to see again cause the first
time I didn’t really know who they were.
They were as fabulous as expected. All of
the other bands had these big banners so
Nerf Herder had this little cardboard sign on
top of A’s banner, but the funniest thing was
that it said Nerf Heider, which Parry continued to joke about throughout the set. At
one point they lowered the banner and he
was like We’re gonna start a riot if you
don’t put the sign back up. At this show
they said they’re from California, which is
true, but I swear at each show they would
claim to be from a different state, which
was awesome in a weird kinda way. They
played a lot of good songs, but I did wish
they had played For You. This was the only
show that they played a new song. I forget
how it went but it was
sounding good. They
traded a Nerf herder
tank for the shirt off a
girl’s back. She wasn’t
wearing a bra (surprise
surprise) and stood on
stage for like a whole
song topless. She had a
giant Chrysler tattoo on
her chest and hairy
armpits too.
toThis was only a taste of what was to come.
So then BHG came on. The people in front
of us were those annoying “we heard 2
songs by BHG on the radio so now we have
to go and see them and dance really stupidly
and dress like
slutty preppies
and put glow
sticks in our
mouths and get
all excited when
we get to dance
ever more stupidly on stage
and show our
boobs” type girls.
You have to expect that, but it certainly did
not make me want to slap them any less.
This tour they played a lot more new songs,
since the album is now out. It was cool to
hear songs like ‘I Hope You Die” but I at
the same time it sucked that they didn’t play
more older ones too. They did the drink a
case of warm Dr. pepper and we’ll give you
a hundred dollars thing, and of course the
guy threw up. I have yet to see somebody
actually win the money. They were up to
the same shenanigans as last tour pretty
much. Jimmy Pop took out a package of
hot dogs and equated them to the
Backstreet Boys “wieners’ (tee hee). He
ripped A.J.’s in half and then gave Kevin’s a
blowjob. The crowd didn’t go home hungry.
Then Jared held up signs with a rainbow, a
fairy, and tinky winky. Jimmy also juggled
apples while taking bites out of one of
them, very talented indeed. At another point
Jared went crowd surfing. He tried to
“swim” from the soundman back to the
stage. They did the encore Bad Touch avec
N sync again. Then we went to Nerf
Herder’s merch table to interview them. A
bunch of people bought their CD and an insane amount of them wanted to get it
signed. Like I have never seen it in such
abundance before. We were pretty much the
last ones to leave and Ben got mad because
he wanted to leave, which made for a silent
ride home. Two days later I went with Lisa
to the NY show.We made Nerf Herder a
sign so they would have one correctly
spelled to hang up but I didn’t see them
wandering around so I gave it to Regis to
gigive to them.They didn’t use it at that show
or at any other. I forgot to ask why not but
it took a good 5 hours to make (Lisa
smashed the scissors into our first attempt
and put a hole in the posterboard which was
quite funny but at the same time annoying).
We got a spot on the benches on the side.
This way you can see and sit down. So at
one point I got up and when I came back
there were these really obnoxious assholes
in my spot. Lisa had told them she was saving the spot but they were like OK and sat
down anyway. Another example of people I
want to slap. During Nerf Herder’s set the
crowd shouted for boobies and Parry said
‘we’re not like that, you’ll see plenty of
boobies during BHG.” Hello giant hypocrite, but I still love ya. But they played
Nosering girl (hooray) and had a girl
simulate sex. Then
we had a week to
recuperate before
the Philly show.
They played 2
shows in Philly and
we went to the second one. Isabelle’s Gift gained a pinch of
my favor because right before their last song
they said they’d give 20 bucks to whoever
came on stage and made out with their gay
roadie guy. There were three stipulations: It
must be a boy, he had to use his tongue,
and it had to last for the duration of the
song. So this guy volunteers but he has no
idea what’s going on and doesn’t even know
what he volunteered for but he did it anyway and we got to see some man on man
action. BHG played lots of songs that they
hadn’t played on the tour yet so that was
rad. Then we stayed with Jess, who goes to
school in Philly. At like 8 AM this guy
walks into her suite and announces that
they’re bringing tours
through the room. We
were sleeping in the
‘common” room so
we had to get up. I
guess that was kind
of irrelevant. Oh well.
We went to the same
7-11 that had the best
coke slurpees in exis
t tance but this time they were too thick and that’s just plain annoying.
So then we went to DC. We had 2 extra tickets to sell so we sat
down outside and I worked it. Cause even though the show was sold
out there were way more people selling extra tickets than wanting to
buy. So we went in late and much to our delight saw Nerf Herder
setting up. During their last song (Van Halen) Parry asked if anyone
wanted to come up and finish the song because his voice was hurting.
This guy came up and sang it quite awesomely. Also for one of their
songs the guard in front of us claimed to know all the words to it and
I clearly thought he was joshing, but he in fact did know all the
words and sang along.BHG sure took their sweet ass time coming out
but they sang “Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny” which made Jackie
quite giddy. Ok, there was this mom right up front. I mean that’s cool
and all but she was most annoying person. She demanded that this guy move back so she
could see better. We also dubbed this the most ugly shoe wearing show because literally every
person there had on the ugliest shoes. There was this one girl with especially heinous sandals,
which we concluded we were morbidly fascinated by and therefore had to stare at them. When
all the girls went on stage during 3.14 there was this one girl who wasn’t wearing underwear
and a mighty short skirt. The show ended early because after there was a another “show” of
which the flyer consisted of one guy whipping another naked guy. So all these gay guys came
dressed in the most outrageous leather outfits. It was really obnoxious that there were some
pathetic people outside protesting. Luckily they were gone by the time we came back from
peeing and moving the car or I’d have to kick some ass (if by kick some ass I mean sit there
and do nothing). There was a little line to talk or get stuff signed by various members of BHG.
We went to the end cause we wanted to interview Jimmy. We managed to snag him and do it.
Then we brought our drawer full o’cupcakes shaped liked boobies out and handed them out,
chatted with Steve, who reinforced his title of hottest Jew Alive by writing our friend Rylee,
who couldn’t come to any shows, a smashing letter. Two of the guys from A were standing
there too and they were adorable. Then we drove 6 hours home, stopping at many a rest stop.
So now I’ve seen Bloodhound Gang 9 times, and I’m just as dumb as ever.
So everybody knows the rule
of you can’t wear the shirt of
the band that you’re going to
see to their show. Well, you’d
think that everybody knew this
rule but apparently it isn’t as
widespread as one might hope.
Or perhaps people just choose
to ignore it. Either way it just
wrong. The band that seems to
have an abundance of rulebreakers is MxPx. Every single
time we go to a MxPx show
there are seas of people blatantly ignoring this numberone
rule. Just keep this in mind the
next time you go to a
MxPx show and have an
urge to wear a MxPx shirt.
If you do not heed our advice prepare to be openly
mocked.
--Sorry to keep bringing up
boy bands,but Joey from N
sync is the coolest person
in the world. At one of
their photo events he wore
a shirt that says "Boy
Bands Suck." He also secretly got married..to
me..well that's only halftrue. But I know for a fact
that Joey's weird clothes
include a matching hairy
coat and boots and pants
that light up.I have an "In
My Pocket" book,that's
right.
Dream Girl
By Tremayne White
The girl of your dreams
Isn’t as dreamy as she
seems
Her knockout looks deceive
A cold-hearted personality
She likes to show her skin
You love to get within
And she’ll break your heart
again
When she blows your closest friend
So keep your hopes alive
Throw those past events
aside
Let your dream girl cloud
your mind
With her dreamy, sexy lies