Online: VolcanoConfidence.com
The
Natural’s Way
How To Ignore The Usual
Dating Advice And Win
The Girl By Being Yourself
Phantom
The Natural's Way
How To Ignore The Usual Dating
Advice And Win The Girl By Being
Yourself
By Phantom
© 2013, All Rights Reserved
Table Of Contents
Why This Book Was Written…And How It's Different ....................... 3
Why Everything You Need To Know Is NOT Included ...................... 3
How To Use This Book .................... Error! Bookmark not defined.
PART I: BEING WHO YOU NEED TO BE
Chapter 1: The Attractive Man ..................................................... 4
Chapter 2: Why Are Women So Attracted To Confidence ................ 8
Chapter 3: How To Get Confident - In About 10 Minutes ............... 11
Chapter 4: Beliefs ........................................................................
Chapter 5: Nine Natural's Beliefs ...................................................
Chapter 6: Eliminating Fear And Approach Anxiety ..........................
Chapter 7: Understanding Women .................................................
Chapter 8: Look The Part ..............................................................
Chapter 9: Live Your Life ..............................................................
PART II: DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Pre-step: Go Where The Women Are ..............................................
STEP 1: Say Something ................................................................
STEP 2: Keep Saying Something....................................................
STEP 3: Play ...............................................................................
Step 4: LEAD To The Next Step .....................................................
Do It All Over Again .....................................................................
Why This Book Was Written…And How It's
Different
This isn't the first or the last book on dating success. During the last
several years, there was an explosion of books written on the topic of dating.
So what makes this book so different from any other out there?
If you study any of the books written for dating success, you'll quickly
discover that most authors made dating seem much more COMPLEX than it
really is.
Most books go into so much detail in telling you what to do, that it can
make your head spin.
But what if you just want to start a conversation with a girl behind the
counter and get a date?
Do you really need all that information?
Now, I do want to acknowledge all the people teaching dating for taking
the effort and time to study this in depth, and provide us with the knowledge
of what's really happening.
But is getting a girl to go on a date with you and have fun really THAT
difficult and complex?
Isn’t there an easier, less complex and more NATURAL way?
Chapter 1: The Attractive Man
Let's start this journey with a question: what do women find attractive?
What is it that women love about men?
Why are they attracted to certain guys and pity others?
Why do they do crazy things for some guys and leave other guys crying
and writing love songs about them?
I remember watching a TV show about a guy who was named the "Don
Juan of the TV network". Unfortunately, I don't remember his name or the
TV he was on. But here's what happened.
They announced that they were going to reveal a real Don Juan of today's
age, a guy who seduces women.
Then they showed him walking down the street.
When I saw him, I thought they were joking.
The guy was skinny, wearing a sweat suit and a baseball cap.
Trust me when I say, there wasn't ANYTHING special about him.
Nothing special at all.
So I was about to switch the channel, when they showed a very attractive
woman on the phone, standing there, talking.
So this Don Juan walked up to her, leaned on the wall next to her, and
said, “2 minutes. Tell her you'll call her back.”
The girl looked at him, got confused… then hung up the phone, and
started TALKING with him.
Now the question is, WHY?
Why did she start talking with him, when we all know women aren't
attracted to skinny guys with baseball caps?
Was he famous?
No.
Was he attractive like Brad Pitt?
No.
Was he rich beyond belief?
No.
Did he say something hilariously funny or profound?
No.
So what's the difference between him and some average guy on the
street, who merely observes women from a distance?
To be able to answer this question, we need to take a closer look at…
What we generally believe women find ATTRACTIVE
Looks
Some people say that women want guys who look good. So if a guy looks
like Brad Pitt, he will get any woman he wants.
But Brad Pitt himself once said that until he was famous, he had
challenges with getting a date.
So is looking good really the key to having women be crazy about you? I
think it might help, but I don't think your looks are THE key.
Money
What about having money? If you're rich, women are attracted to you,
right?
After all, Zsa-Zsa Gabor, a woman known for her scandalous affairs said,
"No rich man is ugly".
But then we see guys like our Don Juan, who have no money, and are still
able to get the girl.
So is money really it?
I think money can help, but it's not THE key.
Fame
How about being famous? This surely must be it. If you're famous,
women love you.
If you're a famous rock guitar player, or a member of a famous rock
band, you have as many women as you want.
But do you really NEED to be famous to get the girl? After all, was the
Don Juan I mentioned before a famous person?
No, he wasn't. He was just another guy from the street. So fame can
help, but it's not the reason why you couldn't get the girl.
Personality Traits
What about certain personality traits, like humor, fun, dominance and
social skills?
Are these qualities attractive to women?
If a guy can make a girl laugh, she'll probably like him and be attracted to
him.
If he can show he has a lot of friends and that he's popular, women will
probably find him more attractive.
However, our Don Juan didn't say anything too profound or funny to show
some special personality traits, and still was able to meet the girl.
So what's difference?
Why was he able to get the girl to stop what she was doing, and talk to
him?
Although I agree that women DO want men who are famous, rich and
handsome and have certain personality traits, it is NOT the DECIDING factor
on whether you get the girl or not.
What Are Women *REALLY* Attracted To
The difference that made the difference was that even though our Don
Juan was just ANOTHER guy from the street, he was able to show
CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is the key to being an attractive man.
Women are primarily attracted to your CONFIDENCE, and secondary to
whatever you think they are attracted to, be it fame, money, looks or other
personality traits.
When a guy can approach a woman with BALLS out, state what he wants
in an assured and congruent manner, he gets her ATTENTION, and
differentiates himself from ALL the other guys, who are timidly walking
around, ashamed for even liking a woman.
Again, I do think things like fame, money, looks, and personality traits
can help you be more attractive to women, but they aren't the KEY.
The deciding factor is your CONFIDENCE.
But what exactly is confidence?
While we all kind of get the idea of what confidence is, if you ask random
people, most of them can't give you a direct answer.
They say things like "being confident means that you feel good about
yourself", or "that you can comfortably talk with others"… but what is
confidence really?
Chapter 2: What Is Confidence And Why Are
Women So Attracted To It?
So what is confidence?
What do we mean when we say somebody is confident?
If we take the example of our Don Juan before, what was it about him
that we can describe as "confidence"?
Is it the way he moves, the way he talks, or the way he feels about
himself?
And as we're describing confidence, are we describing a natural human
quality or are we describing something else?
Let me give you the answer.
Confidence, as it is attractive to women means that you are in a STATE of
feeling SURE about yourself, and of what you're doing.
What do I mean?
If you look up the word “sure” in the online dictionary, one of the
definitions is “free from doubt”.
And if you think about it, most guys are the exact opposite from free of
doubt – they are FULL of doubt.
They feel unsure about themselves (or about anything) all the time. So
when they want to talk to a girl, they feel unsure…if they want to ask her
out, they feel unsure.
But guys who are confident around women on the other hand, are SURE
of themselves.
When they talk to a girl – they are sure of themselves. When they ask her
for her number, they say it in a sure way, where there is no doubt.
That is why, when our Don Juan said to that girl “2 minutes, tell her you'll
call her later”, she actually did hang up and talk to him.
It's because he demonstrated that he is totally sure of what he was doing.
He didn't flinch; he didn't act nervous…but was just completely SURE of
himself.
Makes sense?
If I could give you only ONE piece of advice on how to be more
successful around women, it would be this: Be SURE about what you do or
say to a woman. You can say ANYTHING to her, as long as you are SURE of
it, and it WILL work.
So why is that?
Why are women so attracted to guys who show that they are confident?
Well, the reason why women are so attracted so much to confidence is
because it fulfills one of their basic needs in life – to feel SAFE.
You see, women, for the most part, feel unsafe in their life. And I don't
mean unsafe as being paranoid of walking down the street, but unsafe as
being mildly aware that there is a threat out there.
Why do you think that women are number one buyers of the "pepper
spray", a spray used to defend yourself from an attacker?
They are always aware that down in the “dark”, there could be some
danger.
So when a man comes along that shows that he is SURE of himself, he is
projecting safety to her. She considers that a guy who is sure of himself will
be more able to handle a possible attacker, and protect her, so she will feel
SAFE.
But more than feeling physically unsafe, women feel EMOTIONALLY
unsafe.
What do I mean?
You see, we were all kids once.
And as kids, we were all OPEN to other people.
But somewhere along the way we learned, that if we are too open, some
people take advantage our openness, and we get HURT.
Maybe we said something as kids and other kids laughed at us…
Maybe we opened our true feelings to somebody, and that person
rejected us…
So we slowly stopped being so open, and learned how to be less open, to
prevent from getting hurt again.
We learned to behave and talk in a socially acceptable way, where we
don't have to show ourselves completely.
However, when we were open, we were able to feel CONNECTED with
people.
And while guys can live with this dysfunction their entire life, women have
a strong need to feel connected.
But to feel connected, she first needs to feel SAFE with you…so she can
open up again.
So as men mainly seek sex with women, women mainly seek a man who
they can feel physically and emotionally feel SAFE with…and to who they can
completely open up.
Deep down, ALL women are little girls of 8 inside. And they want a guy
who they can squeeze to on a cloudy Sunday day, feel safe and secure with
him, and be that little 8 year old girl.
So when a woman sees a guy who is sure of himself, that triggers that
“safety” button inside of a woman, and she thinks to herself, “Now there's a
man I could feel safe to open up.”
Of course, most women aren't conscious of this. They don't rationally
think about this. They just feel this strange ATTRACTION to a guy, and they
don't even know why.
So the natural question is, HOW can you become confident?
Well, that’s what the next chapter of this book is about. I’m about to
show you how you can become confident in the next 10 minutes.
Chapter 3: How To Get Confident…In About 10
Minutes
So how can you get confident?
How can you get into that state of feeling SURE of yourself and of what
you're doing?
We can divide confidence in 2 categories – one is general confidence that
you have for your life, and the other is confidence that you have in the
moment.
For example, you might be confident overall in your life…but when you
get around a beautiful woman, you don’t feel like you have any confidence at
all.
If you want to have that general confidence in your life, you need to
spend time working on yourself, so you can free yourself from limitations and
doubt in your life in general.
But it doesn’t matter if you have general confidence in your life, if you
can’t show confidence in that specific moment when you start speaking to a
woman - she’s not going to perceive you as confident.
When it comes to women, what really matters is the confidence that you
show in the MOMENT.
So instead of spending years developing that general confidence, which I
encourage you to do down the line, you need to focus on something you can
do TODAY, so you can start having conversations with women, and get
dates.
And what is that something you can do today?
It’s to learn how to TURN ON your confidence at any moment you want.
Luckily for you, just like you can turn on the lights in your room, you can
turn on your feeling of confidence any time you want.
How is that?
You’re about to learn how in the next chapter. Let’s continue…
End of this sample book.
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