Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER “For the Families & Friends of those who have died by violence” P.O. Box 39603 Phoenix, AZ 85069-9603 (602) 254-8818 Chapter E-mail: [email protected] * National Organization of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. (POMC) 4960 Ridge Ave., Cincinnati, OH, 45209 (513-721-5683) Fax (513-345-4489) http://www.pomc.com/phoenix/index.html Toll Free Number (888) 818-7662 Volume 22; No. 1 January 2013 MONTHLY MEETING LOCATIONS Grief support meetings EASTSIDE Tuesday, January 22, 2013 7 PM (4th TUESDAY of each month) Special Note: For the Eastside Support Group Meeting, please consider bringing nonperishable/canned food items to donate to the church. Mountain View Lutheran Church 11002 S. 48th Street, Phoenix (1/2 mile west of I-10 at 48th Street & Elliot) Room 8 Facilitator: Mari Bailey (602) 405-7401 [email protected] Co-facilitator: Mark & Sandy LeGault (480) 242-0038 WESTSIDE Tuesday, January 22, 2013 7 PM (4th TUESDAY of each month) Antioch Church of God in Christ 9600 West Peoria Avenue NW Corner just off Loop 101 Facilitator: Beckie Miller (623) 582-2406 Co-facilitator: Kathy Hernandez (623) 707-6825 1 CRIME VICTIMS LEGAL ASSISTANCE PROJECT Free legal aide to help assert victims' rights through Arizona Voice for Crime Victims @ (602) 258-1812, P.O. Box 875920, Tempe, AZ 85287-5920 or contact Mary Wallace at [email protected]. SPEAKER/INFORMATION MEETING Tuesday, January 8, 2013 7 PM ****NOTE: NEW LOCATION**** Sojourner Center, 2330 East Fillmore St., 24th Street not far off Loop 202 January’s Speaker/Information meeting will feature Board member Mari Bailey leading “Scrapbooking, Making Memories Special.” Please bring copies of a few photos of your loved one(s) if you wish to include in your project. Also January’s meeting is the election of your Board of Directors. NEWSLETTER EDITOR Mail Memorial Page items for “The Journey”, by the 10th of the month prior to publication to: POMC Editor 19620 North 38th Ave Glendale AZ 85308 Payment for articles should be mailed to the P.O. Box address listed on the newsletter heading. You can also email items to [email protected] Be sure to place any article/picture in an attachment, otherwise it can’t be accessed properly (especially pictures) and may not be used. Also be sure to put POMC newsletter in the subject line of the email or it may be overlooked. “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” Dustin Loved one of Wendy Stanley January 2012 Osidro Gonzales January 1, 1993 Christopher Hanaki January 1, 2001 Andrew Reyes Martinez January 1, 2003 Ryan Michael Till January 1, 2007 Ricardo Ortega January 2, 1998 Austin Lewis January 2, 2009 Mackenzie Bratcher January 3, 1998 Michael “Eddie” Cordova January 3, 2001 Jerome Crayton Hoy January 3, 2001 Christina Hallman January 3, 2010 Victor Felipe Garcia January 8, 2009 David Barzilai January 4, 2002 Joseph Klug, Sr. January 9, 1997 Raymond Barron III January 5, 1998 J. Braddock RichardsonJanuary 10, 1995 Michele MacDonald January 6, 1995 Michael Newton January 7, 2004 Fabian Cano January 10, 2012 Jesus Guzman January 11, 2001 Veronica Ann Youvella January 7, 2005 Mike Smith January 12, 2001 Deana Bowdoin January 7, 1978 Anthony Sanchez January 12, 2007 Terrance D. Patterson, Jr. January 7, 2007 Ronald Fraga January 12, 2008 Christopher Rivera January 8, 2002 Larry Peters January 8, 1996 Jacquelan Hartman January 8, 2007 2 George Burilla January 12, 1999 Megan Dowell January 12, 2010 Bilal Russell January 14, 2009 Continued. . . . . Ralph Kenneth Stadler January 15, 1996 Steven Henrichsen January 15, 2009 Jeremy Brewer January 15, 2010 Louarna Gillis January 17, 1979 Dawn Shipp January 17, 1994 Christopher Vega January 17, 2000 Amanda Enos January 21, 2004 Ryan McKenney January 24, 2001 Daniel Delci January 22, 1994 Juan Ojeda January 22, 1994 Kelsey Marie Haynes January 23, 1992 Justin Smothermon January 23, 2005 Nancy Voelker January 19, 1973 Justin Ryan Richardson January 23, 2006 Bryant Mabery January 19, 1999 Eric Edwards January 26, 1993 Vernon Cumming January 20, 2009 Cynthia Ratter January 28, 1980 Armando Rene’ Casasnovas January 28, 2001 Jacquelan “Jackie” Hartman January 28, 2007 Kaity Sudberry January 28, 2008 Charles Mitchem January 29, 1977 Nicole “Nici” Pietz January 29, 2006 Aaron Barnett January 29, 2007 Kathleen Diane Ricks January 30, 1981 Robin Barnes January 29, 1995 Dolores LeGault January 30, 2006 *Every effort is made to ensure accuracy on this page. Please call ASAP with changes. 3 VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER NEWS TRIAL & JUDICIAL & ARREST UPDATES ● The sentencing of the killer of Kyleigh Sousa, daughter of Karen (Montenegro) Zitzow was Friday, December 14. Kyleigh was the ASU student whose purse was grabbed from the driver of a car and she got entangled in the straps and he drug her to her death. He was sentenced to life with possibility of parole. ● Joan Natz reports trial is finally beginning January 13 for the killer of her son, Brian Pugh murdered November of 2008 in Santa Clara California. “Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with each and every family member as they endure this necessary but difficult process.” IN LOVING MEMORY GIFT DONATIONS (THANK YOU!) (*All donations are tax deductible: Our chapter exists on the generosity of others and grants) If you would like to have your loved one’s name listed here each and every month like some are all you need do is contribute a small amount monthly to the chapter in their loving memory to do so). Some below do in-kind contributions such as working in the POMC Office or donating the fax-line etc. Some give their restitution checks to POMC so there are many ways to help.) ♥ Darcy Forst in very loving memory of her husband, Ed Forst. ♥ Jane Moxey-Fausel in very loving memory of her son, Bill Moxey. ♥ Cynthia Clark-Harvey in very loving memory of her daughter, Erica. ♥ Don & Beckie Miller in very loving memory of their son, Brian Ray Miller. ♥ Carolee Holbrook in very loving memory of her son, Brett Holbrook. ♥ Michael Young in very loving memory of his son Michael and grandson, Joshua. ♥ Penny Metzger in very loving memory of her friend Nancy Voelker and Craig. ♥ Robin Grass in very loving memory of her friends and all victims who were murdered. CORPORATE & OTHER DONATIONS THANK YOU! UNITED WAY (Note: the write in number to designate funds to our chapter through your employee contributions is 0772) You must use this number for designating any funds to go to our chapter. Our chapter name is not listed except by number. COLD CASE REGISTRY FOR HOMICIDES The Phoenix Police Department now has a Cold Case Registry on line. The link is http://phoenix.gov/police/investigations/coldcase/index.html. The second phase of this website project will eventually include a searchable listing of cold cases with a brief synopsis of each case. Interested persons can then send us information on the case or be routed to Silent Witness should they want to do so. Hopefully, this will generate more tips and leads and move more cases to successful resolution. Many family members just need to know their loved one's case is still open, and hopefully this will give them solace that the case is not forgotten. SPEAKER INFORMATION MEETING Our speaker information was not held in December due to the holidays and our annual Holiday Memorial Service. Join us at the January speaker meeting for our annual elections of the board of director positions and our presentation this month will be on Scrapbooking, Making Memories Special with Mari Bailey. JANUARY IS OUR ELECTIONS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING At our January Speaker Information meeting we also have our elections for the board of directors. Stepping down this year is Cynthia Clark-Harvey who served our board for six years. Wanting to join our board is Claudia Marco and we are grateful for her willingness to join and serve your chapter. 4 Chapter news cont’d SIBLING ON LINE SUPPORT Amanda Harris, a member of our chapter, has formed an on line Sibling Support venue. www.unitingsiblings.com or phone her for more information at 623-866-3189. Amanda lost her brother Joshua to murder and understands the sibling grief in a way only siblings can. FYI: SPANISH SPEAKING SURVIVORS MEETING Spanish Speaking support meetings. “Parents and Families of Murdered Children” (not a part of POMC) have changed meeting locations. They now meet at 6201 North 35th Avenue, Suite B-4, Phoenix AZ 85017. For more information please call Jose Guzman at (602) 246-1335 (cell) or (602) 463-3932. Also Bajo Las Mismas Lagrimas “Under the Same Tears” meets every other Monday, Golden Gate Community Center, 6:00 p.m. at 39th Avenue and McDowell. Please call Mercedes Cazarez (602) 367-4009 or 623-444-0171. ►CHAPTER WINDOW DECALS AND BRACELETS FOR SALE◄ We have custom made white window decals in a beautiful circular design with our name, chapter web site, and logo with a sun surrounding a parent/child for sale. They are $10 and they are for the outside of your car window and last through weather and car washes or you can even put them on house windows ( I did). Also our Chapter Bracelets are black and red multi with “POMC” and “Always in our Hearts” (our loved ones) on them. These are only $3. To order, just send a note and payment to our PO Box 39603, Phoenix AZ 850699603. The window decals are better than bumper stickers, easier to remove when needed and come with instructions for attaching. ANNUAL HOLIDAY MEMORIAL SERVICE "In Their Loving Memories" Our service this year was beautiful again thanks to the beautiful voice of Cheri Degruccio singing "When I'm Gone" and "I Believe" and Kathy dancing a beautiful dance to "When I'm Gone." We had our flower of remembrance ceremony in which each attendee is given a carnation in memory of their loved ones, standing and receiving when their relationship is announced .... this represents how POMC is not just parents, but all family members and friends of those who have lost a loved one to murder. It is profoundly emotional to look out into the church when everyone stands and to see how much we are growing. We had an ornament hanging ceremony in which everyone said their loved one's name before hanging them on our tree and then we lit our rose lights and the memorial candle. Before the service began we gave out our awards and appreciation gifts. Receiving our "Empty Shoe" Awards this year were Dr. Sandi Howlett, Grief Specialist at Hansen's Mortuaries, Sunny Dawn Johnston, psychic medium, teacher, inspirational speaker etc., Stephen Nebgen and Steve Carmichael of SHOWBIZ AZ who filmed a documentary at our National Conference, and Cynthia Clark-Harvey who is leaving our board of directors after serving six years with dedication and compassion for survivors. She will be sorely missed but it is time for her to move on. Also we gave appreciation gifts to those who help our chapter such as Kathy Guzman our anniversary note writer, Sherry Kiyler of the Chandler PD who has give of herself to this chapter for nearly 18 years, Robin Grass of the Phoenix PD Volunteers as well as Mary Wallace of Arizona Voice for Crime Victims and to those who allow our meetings for the East and West side and Speaker Information meeting. And lastly to Carolee Holbrook who not only volunteers in the office helping Beckie run the chapter business duties and new member intake but also helps with events and so much more. We are so grateful to all of them for their service to crime victims and support of this chapter. The board members surprised me with a special gift besides the usual each year -- a beautiful Bird of Paradise plant for my new back yard that I waited for more than two years to transform into something other than dirt and rock. Thank you dearly each of you. Take care of and be good to yourselves each and everyone. Special thanks also to Pastor Adrianne Heskin of Shepherd of the Valley Church for once again providing our "Table of Remembrance" and Invocation. She does such a wonderful job. 5 Chapter & Nat’l news AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM BECKIE We need your help with our RSVP's for the Holiday Memorial Dinner as well as National Day of Remembrance events. The last few times we have had way too many who have RSVP'd their attendance not show up. At this year's Holiday Memorial, 349 responded as attending the dinner (thank you to those who RSVP'd event only) but 127 of the 349 did not show up. While we know illness and or car trouble was the reason for a very few (and again thank you for letting me know) there was no reason or phone call for the rest. We had large families of 16 and 10 not have anyone show up. We love having these events for our members and the meal after the Holiday Memorial Service is a gift and a special treat but we cannot afford the waste of valuable chapter funds when we pay the caterer for the amount we are supposed to have and then all that food is wasted. If we cannot find a way to fix this problem we will no longer be able to provide the meal after the service so please remember to not only RSVP but then cancel if you are not coming (again, thank you to those few who did just this). 127 attendees times $11 each for the dinner is $1,397 of wasted funds. MESSAGES FROM MEMBERS AND OTHERS To the Valley of the Sun Chapter: Sincere wishes for hope, happiness and peace during the holiday season and throughout the coming year. From Sherry Kiyler and the men and women of the Chandler Police Department. May your Christmas be bright with the light of love, warm with peace and hope. From Raspberry Cottage Mininstries -- Pastors Arrow and Bobbi NATIONAL POMC INFORMATION ☺ CINCINNATI OHIO OFFICE☺ ●AMAZON CONTRIBUTES TO NATIONAL POMC! Recently, Amazon.com became a supporter of National POMC. Please visit the National website @ www.pomc.org and look for the Amazon link. By accessing Amazon through the POMC website, POMC will receive a percentage of all purchases (4-13%, depending on the item). This does not increase the cost of your purchase. This is a great opportunity to purchase items over the holidays and also contribute to POMC while doing so! Please share this wonderful opportunity with your Chapters, Families and Friends! We appreciate everything you do to support POMC! THE KROGER COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM! National POMC is happy to announce we are now part of the KROGER COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM. If you are a Kroger customer in the Ohio, Kentucky or Indiana region—You can contribute to POMC by registering your Kroger Plus Card online @krogercommunityrewards.com. If you don't have a Kroger Plus card—please sign up and your purchases will contribute to POMC receiving quarterly rewards/donations from the Kroger Company! A few notes when visiting the Kroger Community Rewards website: Register with POMC code #83326. This will assure POMC gets credit for your purchases at Kroger & Affiliated stores listed at the bottom of their website. Make sure you have your Kroger Plus Card available with card number when registering. You can click on “Frequent Asked Questions” on their website and that may be helpful in explaining program and registration issues. ● AUTO DONATIONS: We are encouraging all chapters and contact persons to get involved with POMC Debit Authorization. You can now donate to NATIONAL POMC by setting up an automatic withdrawal from your bank account to National. Contact National for a debit authorization form. This is a fast and easy way to make a donation to National to help us help others. Your donation is withdrawn at the same time of the month each month and no amount is too small. We appreciate your help during these difficult economic times. 6 Nat’l news cont’d ● PAROLE BLOCK PROGRAM: To date this program had kept more than 1357 prisoners who committed murders from being released early. Parole Block was begun in 1990 and all members across the United States whose loved one’s killer is up for early release/parole consideration can file a petition with National that is sent nationwide for signatures protesting their release. TOPIC FORUM: POMC has a “Topic Forum” on its web site. It provides a place where survivors all over the U.S. can communicate with each other. It’s a good place to suggest to those who aren’t able to attend monthly grief support meetings to utilize the support. Please let your members know that it is there for additional support so that they can tell their other family members, co-workers and friends who may be in states where we have no POMC chapters. SECOND OPINION SERVICES: A program that provides second opinions on unsolved or complicated cases by a national board comprised solely of experts in the medical, law enforcement and investigative fields. MURDER IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT (MINE) PROGRAM: Through this program, POMC raises public awareness to the insensitivity of murder as entertainment through toys, games, murder mystery weekends, drive by shooting fashions, serial killer trading cards and anything that glamorizes violence. BIG TURN OFF: This is an annual event, each January, in which citizens are asked to turn of their televisions for one evening during prime time hours to protest the violence on television. MURDER WALL: (A traveling tribute honoring the memories of murder victims). A photo album is also available with each plaque. Currently, the cost is $75 to add your loved ones names to the Walnut Plaques that comprise the Murder Wall. You have two pages for the photo album to add information, poetry or pictures. SILENCED VOICES: A program begun in January 2002 which advocates for the vigorous investigation and prosecution of those responsible for the murder of abused children. The first case was that of Brandi Conley. POMC was instrumental in bringing charges against her parents. ●SURVIVORS NEWSLETTER is available through National for only $10 per year. It is a wonderful way to stay connected, keep informed about POMC nationally and also to SUPPORT national financially. Please order using the form below. . . NATIONAL POMC SURVIVORS NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION FORM Please find enclosed $10.00 for my annual subscription (three issues) for the Survivors Newsletter. Please consider adding an extra subscription fee to help defray the cost for someone who cannot afford it. Enclosed is my Name:____________________________ _____Check _____Money Order In the amount of $_______for Address:__________________________ _______year (s) subscription. City:_____________________________ State/Zip:_________________________ Please charge $___________for ____year(s) subscription to my: ____Visa ____Master Card Phone: ( )______________________ Mail to: POMC, Inc. 100 E. Eighth St., B-41 Cincinnati, OH 45202 Card Number:_________________________ Expiration Date:_______________________ ____I have enclosed an extra subscription fee to defray the cost for someone who cannot afford a Survivors Newsletter subscription. 7 PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN, INC “BIG TURN-OFF” (To Protest the Violence on Prime Time Television) The annual Big Turn-Off for our organization is Wednesday, January 9, 2013 during prime time hours on television when our vulnerable children are watching. ● This is our organization’s annual program to protest the violence on television, and a part of the Murder is not Entertainment Program, and is designated the second Wednesday of January. Please support us and turn off your televisions during the prime time hours of Wednesday evening. Play games with your family, take a walk or read a book instead. It seems like year after year the family hour on television continues to add more and more “crime shows” to their programming. So help us continue to educate not only our communities, but the networks as well. Inform your family members, friends, co-workers and churches and let them know about this important event. *The American Psychological Association has reported that the average child watches 8,000 televised murders and 100,000 acts of violence before finishing elementary school. That number more than doubles by the time he/she reaches the age of 18. Prime time television should be violence free for our children. 8 Survivor to Survivor: A Father’s Mournful Cry Twenty-One Years Later (By: Beckie A. Miller) I awaken in the darkness not knowing why. As I lay there attempting to retrieve sleep, I hear what awoke me in the first place, the saddest sound I have ever heard. It comes from him, my sleeping husband, a deeply mournful wail that emanates in the silent darkness of our bedroom. I have heard it many times over the years since our son died and it always causes me such sorrow knowing how deeply he hurts. I pat his arm and rub his back as it slowly passes and he returns to quiet slumber. I cannot say peaceful, as I do not know whether the nightmare has ended, but thankful the mournful sound from the depths of a father's grieving soul have ended for now. It happens even twenty-one years later, my husband's middle of the night cries. Another October just passed, the month I wish wiped from the calendar. Our son, Brian, was eighteen-years old, robbed and shot to death by errant gang members, while walking his girlfriend home from work in our neighborhood that should have been safe. It was October 19, 1991 but Brian was also born in October, on the 1st, so I view the entire month as excruciatingly difficult. My emotions run high this month. I shop more. I cry more and I yell more. And then I hear his cries again, and I rub his back and shoulder until they stop and I get angry at the injustice of any father or mother, anyone, feeling such horrifically, awful pain. I expect the mournful cries from my husband will continue until his dying breaths, when sleep and the dark recesses of the mind bring about the painful images he manages to push down during the day and life's busy demands. And I will continue to try and comfort him knowing I truly cannot diminish the demons of his own personal grief. It is hard enough living with my own mother's grief. It is not fair what happened to us, to our son. We will never understand it or have full closure with it until we are reunited with him again one day. Faith eases the pain in that respect, but it is little solace with the here and now of missing Brian, or the fact he was taken from us so cruelly and all the things in our lives he has not shared. Something on a recent radio show got me thinking. Don told me he had heard this guy who asked people if they could have their loved one back, what then, and the ensuing discussion of if they would even want to come back. Maybe not. If heaven is all we of faith believe it to be and more than we can imagine, why would they want to leave? Another question was would they come back the same age as they died or older as they would be if living. I forever see Brian as 18 and cannot picture him as a 39-year old he would be this October. When push comes to shove, I would probably be selfish and hope that my son would come back to me, to us, if he could. Then I would no longer have to hear the mournful wails from my husband at night and I would no longer feel them in my mother's heart. It hurts, no matter how much time has passed all these twenty-one years later and while the journey without him is easier now, it is still never easy. *Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of the Sandy Hook elementary school tragedy. May they each have as many "journey gentlers" as possible during the truly difficult times ahead. 9 Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. (POMC) Valley of the Sun Chapter “For the Families and Friends of Those Who Have Died By Violence” Providing Advocacy, Awareness, Education, Prevention and Support FUNDRAISER DINNER & SILENT AUCTION PLEASE JOIN US FOR OUR 18th ANNUAL EVENT February 22, 2013 at the Phoenix Mountain Preserve 1431 East Dunlap, Phoenix 5:30 p.m. our silent auction begins followed by dinner, live auction & dancing and this year Live Music~featuring Day-Glo-Red!" PRIZES FOR THE AUCTION INCLUDE: Numerous Gift Baskets of Various Themes, Jewelry, Art Work, Electronics, Certificates, Household items, Children’s toys, Hotel/Resort Weekend Getaways, Sports Memorabilia, Sporting Event Tickets, and so much more by auction time. ●We need your support for this worthy cause and we need donated prizes for the auction from individuals or businesses. ●Call (602) 254-8818 for more information, to donate and or to purchase tickets for the event and reserve your dinner spot. Tickets for the event’s dinner are $30 for adults and $15 for Children over 3 and up to 12. Credit Cards or Cash. ●POMC is a non-profit organization with 501 © 3 status and all donations are tax deductible. 10 11 Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., is a self-help organization dedicated to the aftermath of murder. The success of its mission depends upon the participation of the families and friends of those lost to murder. POMC number (602) 254-8818 WHY WE ARE HERE: MISSION STATEMENT: “POMC makes the difference through ongoing emotional support, education, prevention, advocacy, and awareness.” VISION STATEMENT: “To provide support and assistance to all survivors of homicide victims while working to create a world free of murder.” This project is supported by Grant No. 2012-VA-GX-0022 from the US Department of Justice - Office for Victims of Crime. The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the US DOJ or the Arizona Department of Public Safety. Return Address PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN, INC. VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER P.O. Box 39603 Phoenix AZ 85069-9603 (602) 254-8818
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