1. family and parenting
2. children

January 2011
Mopping Up and Moving On — with Assistance
The evening of December 2, a sprinkler located in CODA’s
shelter was triggered, flooding portions of the shelter and
ruining flooring, carpeting, mattresses and low-lying woodwork. The following day, the shelter officially closed.
Twelve women and children were moved to hotels.
As staff and volunteers worked tirelessly finding clients
shelter with other organizations, management addressed
the clean-up and its related damages estimated to be just
shy of $40,000. Drying-out required round-the-clock
operation of more than two dozen industrial fans. Furniture was moved, floors and carpets torn up.
When word of the disaster reached Bernie Kole, whose
Kole Construction built the shelter in 1998, he offered
men and equipment to begin immediate repairs. Some staff
shook their heads in disbelief when told the shelter would
re-open by Christmas. However, Kole and his crew accomplished the seemingly miraculous, and the first “new”
resident entered the shelter 21 days after the flood.
CODA Christmas elves: Bob Cade, Mike Oleson and
Bernie Kole
During the repairs, staff and volunteers shared cramped office space, tried
to ignore the foul-smelling drying-out process and succeeded in getting designated shelter Christmas presents to scattered recipients.
Outreach services (legal, counseling and case management) continued uninterrupted. Callers to CODA’s crisis-line were assisted in securing shelter at
sister programs in South Carolina and Georgia. However, the importance of
CODA’s shelter to victims of domestic violence in the 2000 square miles comprising Beaufort, Colleton, Jasper and
Hampton counties was reinforced by
every crisis-line caller seeking emergency assistance.
Ruined flooring and baseboards
Thanks to all “citizens opposed to
domestic abuse” who pitched in during the crisis with work, contributions
and good wishes!
Last Copy!
You are receiving your final
hard copy of Taking a Stand. To
continue receiving it via e-mail:
Send your contact info to:
[email protected]
or go to:
www.codalowcountry.org
and click on:
“Request CODA’s Newsletter”
We look forward to hearing from
you!
Page 2
SAFE AT HOME
CODA introduced Safe at Home in 2008 to assist women in their transition from its emergency shelter to permanent
housing. The program provides decreasing amounts of rental subsidy for up to one year. Additionally, CODA staff
members give on-going emotional support needed to rebuild self-esteem and practical assistance in developing concrete goals and budgeting skills.
Start-up funding for 2008 and 2009 was provided through grants from the Long Cove Club Community Endowment Fund
and Community Foundation of the Lowcountry. CODA continues to seek long-term funding for this important program.
To date, three clients have “graduated” from CODA’s Safe at Home program. All have children, all are employed,
two are enrolled in college and one has completed her bachelor’s degree and recently purchased a home for herself
and her daughters.
Tiffany
According to CODA’s housing coordinator, Barbara, Safe
at Home’s first graduate, Tiffany, was “a perfect intersection of the person, the program and the organization.”
Tiffany learned of CODA from a copy of the incident
report given to her by police when responding to one
of the many assaults she endured over a five year relationship. Arriving at CODA with her two children, she
was angry and depressed. She never anticipated that her
loss would provide an opportunity to think, reflect and
— for the first time — dare to create a plan for her life.
“I began to see there’s got to be something better.” She
worked with Barbara and case manager, Betsy, developing goals, expectations and the budgeting skills which
could make them a reality.
Her goals and budget were incorporated into the Safe at
Home application Barbara and Tiffany ultimately filed.
Her acceptance into the program prompted the first
smile Barbara had ever seen light up Tiffany’s face. Once
settled in her new apartment, Tiffany checked in regularly with CODA staff during which times she and Barbara
would go over receipts to jointly evaluate good and bad
spending habits. Something as minor as finding a new
baby-sitter closer to home resulted in fuel savings.
Although her hours were cut at work, creating a temporary set-back, Tiffany’s work ethic resulted in a promotion and restoration of the lost wages. Her eyes remain
focused on the future. She has added enrollment at South
University and a 3.65 GPA to her accomplishments.
CODA staff believed Tiffany could make it. Now, she
does too.
Barbara, Betsy, Tiffany and Kristin
Claudia
Claudia, originally from Mexico, participated in Safe at
Home for four months. She has also volunteered her interpreting skills for CODA. Her letter to CODA staff:
I did not know why I felt unhappy; I did not know why I
was sick all the time, why I could not approach anything
in my life. At CODA, they taught me I have choices. I
could decide to be happy and successful or not.
My daughters’ father did not allow me to participate in
our marriage. If I said something about a decision, he
became angry. I was afraid of him all the time. He never
asked me what I thought or what I liked. He was not an
alcoholic or drug addict. He never hit me but he always
hit my soul with his silence and anger. We are separated
now.
Thanks to CODA, I understand that I cannot change him.
I started a new life by myself with no family support.
Today, I am learning to love and I am having a healthy
relationship with myself.
See page 3- Safe
Page 3
Safe- from page 2
I finally received a degree with a double major in psychology and Spanish at USC. I got a job in the Beaufort
County School District and I have bought my daughters’
dream house. I achieved this in just one year. All that I
did not do in the 15 years I was married.
I do not know how to say thank you to CODA. They
helped me and supported me and have always been
there for me and my girls. CODA, thanks a lot!
Janelle
Janelle was a recipient of a Safe at Home grant for six
months. Her experience:
I decided my Christmas giving this year would be expressing my gratitude for the gifts bestowed on me.
CODA, an organization which does incredible things
for victims of domestic violence, introduced me to a
wonderful program, Safe at Home.
At CODA, I was
introduced
to
Safe at Home.
Without it,
I
can honestly say
that I would not
be where I am
today. Not only
was I helped
monetarily with
my rent, but each
month I would
meet with Barb
Janelle’s daughter
and we would
work on a budget and create goals to help me succeed
in all aspects of my life.
When we first left our home, I had no idea how we
would ever be able to make a clean break from the
abuse and fear we had lived with.
My daughter and I had been living in a home of abuse.
I was scared, hurt and hopeless. I walked on eggshells
every day and cried myself to sleep almost every night.
I had no self-confidence or strength. I felt I’d made my
bed and had to lie in it. And, my daughter, who was
seven, had no choice but to live this life as well.
CODA saved my life. We now live in a nice community
in a beautiful little one-bedroom apartment. I am going
to school full-time, working toward a career in nursing.
I am working part-time and looking for something more
permanent. We have a little money in savings and our
cat lives with us. We had a Christmas tree this year, and
thanks to CODA, Santa came!
I had noticed CODA information in bathrooms and
doctors’ offices. I realized I was one of the women
these flyers were targeting. One day I tore off a sheet
with a phone number and shoved it in my pocket. A
few days later, when I was pinned against the counter
wiping my husband’s spit off my face, I decided to call
the number.
My daughter goes to a great school, participates in girl
scouts and is able to get the occupational therapy she
needs to excel in life. We both get counseling. These are
things I would have thought impossible just a year ago.
Thank you, Safe at Home, for taking us on this past year;
and thank you, CODA, for helping me create and succeed at goals I thought were impossible.
My daughter and I stayed at CODA’s shelter in a lovely
room. We saw wonderful counselors, and, in the process, discovered my daughter was dealing with posttraumatic stress disorder. (A problem common for children who witness domestic violence.)
If any of you at CODA are having a bad day or questioning the worth of all the work you do, please look at my
daughter’s photo. There you will see a face filled with
smiles and hope that was not there this time last year. I
love you all. Thank you for saving my life.
You are invited! The board of directors of CODA will be holding its annual meeting January 29, 2011 at 10:00 a.m. at Bethesda Christian Fellowship Parish
Hall, 32-36 Martin Luther King Drive, St. Helena, SC.
RSVP [email protected]. We hope to see you!
Page 4
Everyone Gets in the Game, October 2010
“Are you in the game?” was the question posed by CODA in October, the
month traditionally dedicated to
domestic violence awareness. Participating in the conceptualization and
planning of events were a group of
men: sailors (serving in the chaplaincy program at Parris Island), students
from TCL’s PILAU organization and
the facilitator of the Beaufort and Jasper county schools’ Men of Strength
clubs.
“Get in the Game” 3K Walkers on Charles Street, Beaufort
Believing violence against women
to be an issue affecting everyone,
their goal was to encourage other
men to “get off the bench and in the
game.”
A 3K “Get in the Game” Walk through
downtown Beaufort included men,
women and children decidedly “off
the bench” and eager to show their
support. October’s “Poetry and Pancakes” was dedicated to awareness
of domestic violence and featured
original pieces by budding and fully-blossomed poets. Proceeds from
the event were donated to CODA.
Additionally, Marine Corps Community Services invited Robin Givens to
share her experiences at Parris Island
and the Marine Corps Air Station.
From left: Poetry & Pancakes organizer, Jamie Fleming. Participants in “Get
in the Game” Walk close event with moment of silence
The Jasper County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council echoed
the “Get in the Game” theme at the
annual Ben Riley Football Classic
between Ridgeland and Hardeeville
high schools.
And, in Hampton County, 150 men
signed a pledge to speak out against
domestic violence and reach out to
victims in their community. Their
names were published in the Hampton Guardian at month’s end.
From left: Jasper County — always in the game! Robin Givens shown with
CODA’s Kristin Dubrowski.
CODA, Blessed with Friends who Care ... AND Act!
The Color Purple
Beaufort’s Bangs Salon provided
purple streaks for customers commemorating Domestic Violence
Awareness Month and donated the
proceeds of their efforts to CODA.
the Gold Award, was the culmination of 13 years of scouting.
Page 5
La Dolce Christmas
‘Twas the Season
Above: Bangs Salon’s Amy, Brittany
and Hope. Below: CODA’s Denise
sported Bangs’ handiwork for October.
At its annual Christmas party, La
Dolce Vita, Sun City’s Italian club,
donated a tree to a CODA client as
well as gifts and essentials supplies
for the shelter.
Stitchers Support CODA
A Girl Scout Welcome
Five Christmas trees brightened
the lives of CODA clients this year.
They were the gifts of: Bluffton Target, Guess, Sun City’s La Dolce Vita,
and MCCS Federal Credit Union.
Four went to clients whose families
would have been without trees, and
the fifth brought seasonal cheer to
residents of the shelter (above).
Cycling Santas
Blair and CODA’s Krisin Dubrowski
Hilton Head Prep senior Amanda
Blair recently dropped off 35 “welcome” backpacks filled with items for
women and children seeking shelter
at CODA. The project, her submission
for Girl Scout’s highest achievement,
Jasper County’s Abate Club, a motorcyclists’ rights organization, donated
gifts to CODA’s clients and their children. They were distributed at Pigeon
Point Park in Beaufort.
Each year, the “Dataw Stitchers”
contribute to the needs of CODA’s
shelter at a Christmas get-together.
Many thanks to these and
all the individuals and
organizations supporting
CODA year-round. To become a contributor or see
CODA’s Wish List, go to
the donation sheet page 6,
or www.codalowcountry.
org/donate.
Non-Profit Organization
U.S. Postage Paid
Beaufort, SC
CODA
P. O. Box 1775
Beaufort, SC 29901-1775
Offices:
Fax: Crisis Line:
Permit No. 24
(843) 770-1074
(843) 770-1084
(843) 770-1070
(800) 868-2632
E-mail: [email protected]
www.codalowcountry.org
Taking
a
S tand
CODA Board of Directors
Marcia Seymour, President
Barbara Hathaway, Vice President
Linda Walker, Treasurer
Hannah Moldovan, Secretary
Cynthia O’Neill
Louise Blanchard
Renee Ross
Cassandra Campbell
Eugene Rugala
Bob Cullen
Ed Stephan
Roy Flannagan
Angie Hucks
Exec. Director: Kristin Dubrowski, MNM
Assistant Director: Mary Fairbanks
Newsletter: Martha Lawrence
Taking a Stand is published by CODA to
address the issues of domestic violence
and bring news of CODA’s services and
activities to its supporters. CODA serves
Beaufort, Colleton, Hampton and Jasper counties in South Carolina. CODA offers shelter
for families escaping domestic violence, a
24-hour crisis line, counseling for victims
and their children, court advocacy, case
management and community education.
CODA provides equal opportunity in employment and client services and does not
discriminate on the basis of age, disability,
race, color, sex, gender, sexual orientation,
pregnancy, religion, national origin or genetics.
Make your Donations go Further with Birdies!
Birdies for Charity is a fun way to support CODA while
following the PGA pros at the Heritage Tournament in
Hilton Head, April 18 - 24, 2011.
How to play? Choose an amount of cents to pledge per
birdie. (In 2010, the pros shot 1454 birdies: A pledge of 1¢
equaled a $14.54 contribution; 5¢=$72.70.) CODA receives 100% of
pledges plus the Heritage Classic Foundation will match a portion.
Name of non-profit organization: CODA
I,________________________________________, agree to pledge a fixed
sum of $_________ or ____cents for each birdie (one under par score)
scored during the 4 rounds of the 2011 Heritage Golf Tournament. I
understand a bill will be sent for the fixed sum or calculated amount, unless I elect to submit at this time a check payable to the Heritage Classic
Foundation. I further agree that if billed for the pledge amount, I will
remit my pledge payment no later than May 30, 2011.
Signature of Pledge Donor: ______________________________________
Name: ________________________________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
e-mail: ________________________________________________________
Please return to CODA, P. O. box 1775, Beaufort, SC 29901