Sharing the The Good News Center www.thegoodnewscenter.org Vol. 4 No. 2 Goo Good d New Newss Life After Divorce for Jon, Kate, and Their Children... Jon and Kate Gosselin are divorcing, and the world debates about what will become of their eight children. How will they care for them after the split? Should they continue their TV program “Jon and Kate Plus 8” on TLC, or would doing so be “psychologically abusive” to the children? Most of the discussion seems to be focused on the next few weeks of this family’s existence; I’m wondering about the future. In divorce, Jon and Kate will likely have more conflict, not less. Put another way, if Kate was frustrated with Jon before the divorce, she is in for a wake up call. Jon’s willingness to be influenced by her opinions, and meet her needs, just became smaller. She is going to feel even more frustrated and out-of-control when relating to him in the future. During the program announcing their separation Kate explained she was seeking a divorce to bring “peace” to her children. Ironically, peace just became harder to achieve. In divorce, Jon and Kate will likely have more conflict, not less. Regarding the children, won’t a divorce help them find peace? On occasion divorce offers children improved well-being, but only in high conflict, violent, or abusive households, where removal from exposure to the abuse offers protection; in that case divorce is the lesser of two evils. But “peace” is not facilitated by any divorce, or the ensuing single parent home, and/or stepfamily. Just consider some of the disruptive emotional losses the Gosselin children will likely experience: · Loss of an intact home, and the security that comes from knowing mom and dad are together forever. · Lost family income, friendships, community connections, and access to extended family. · Loss of control (e.g., the courts will tell them when and where they can see their parents). · Loss of continuity to life (life has just become very unpredictable and filled with fear). · Loss that accompanies a parent’s remarriage (“Now I have to share my dad with my stepmom and her kids”). · Loss experienced when parents, who lose their motivation for cooperation, continue to argue, battle, and fuss with one another. · Loss of family traditions and holiday rituals that must change in order to accommodate new stepfamily members and households; and many more. (adapted from Jon and Kate: A Commentary by Ron L. Deal) Your Marriage! An action-packed love story, FIREPROOF will have audiences laughing, crying, and inching toward the edge of their seats as they are drawn into the world of a firefighter, his wife ... and a marriage worth rescuing. At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being "good enough" for her husband. Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks. Tuesday evenings, Beginning August 4, 6:30pm-8pm This “date night” series, based on the hit movie, will offer hope and healing to couples dating, engaged and married. Beat the statistics—join this series to learn how to Fireproof your marriage! Register Now! Call 315-735-6210 or visit www.thegoodnewscenter.org Suggested Offering: $10 per couple for entire series Make it a “date”! Inquire about FREE Childcare! The Good News Center • 10475 Cosby Manor Rd, Utica 13502 • (315) 735-6210 • www.thegoodnewscenter.org 1 Upcoming Events Clip, Save & Post! *The Third Option— An ongoing program to help couples build happier, healthier marriages. Every Other Sunday, 6:30pm. Free and open to all. For upcoming dates or more information check our website or call. *Fireproof—Series to help couples beat the statistics and make their marriage last! Weekly sessions, based on the hit movie, begin Tues. Aug. 4, 6:30pm-8pm. Call or visit the website to register. Make it a ‘date’. Inquire about free childcare! *Annual Rosary Walk-— Come pray the Rosary on our beautiful outdoor Rosary Trail. Free, open to all. 6pm— Refreshments to follow. *3rd Annual MidSummer Night’s Dance—Bring your entire family to this unique event. Lessons, open dancing, food and refreshments. Make your reservation now! *Women’s Spiritual Direction Group—Begins Tues. Sept. 29, meets last Tuesday of each month at 6:30pm. Free, open to all. Connie Armstrong, experienced prayer guide, will lead this group, which offers opportunity for Scriptural reflection, prayer and sharing. Registration appreciated. *I’ve Got a Bible, Now What?—Led by Annette Gape, this study will help you learn how to begin reading Scripture and applying it to your life! Weekly series begins Thurs. Sept. 17, come as you can. Free, open to all, bibles will be provided. Registration required. *Great Dance Dates—Back by popular demand! Four weeks of fun for just the two of you! These four ‘dates’ will include a dance lesson with Gina & Luca Esposito and a relationship ‘refresher’. Weds: Sept 23—Oct. 14, 7pm. $50 per couple covers all four sessions! *Healing the Family Tree Retreat—Sr. Betsy Emery will lead this retreat designed to bring personal and family healing. Call or visit the website for more information and to register today! Space is limited for this exclusive event! *Retrouvaille— A lifeline for troubled marriages will be offered Oct. 16-19. Call for confidential inquiries. Summertime Fun for Families It's that time of year again, the time when all schools are out for summer vacations. Many parents are scratching their heads, wondering what in the world they are going to do with their children home 24/7. It’s enjoyable to have children home for the summer. It gives parents more time to enjoy being with their children. If you are wondering what you can do with your children, "We dance a lot in our house. We just like to prance around the kitchen and the halls. We may look silly, but we have fun and it gets our blood pumping and it feels good. " Alicia Slansky, mother of one. In today's busy families, two areas are generally lacking: Exercise and Family Time. Why not accomplish both at the same time? Here is a way you can spend time together, have some fun, and get active as a family. The Good News Center’s 3rd Annual MidSummer Night’s Dance fits the bill! On Sunday August 9, from 5pm-9pm, bring the entire family to the Center for a unique evening out! With kids under 15 free, and only $15 for adults, it’s a great affordable event to enjoy. The evening includes dance lessons with Gina & Luca Esposito, music by Jeff Glatt, and open dancing for all to enjoy. Admission includes food and drink! Call or visit the website to register today! *INQUIRE ABOUT FREE CHILDCARE FOR ALL PROGRAMS!* To register for any event or program, call (315) 735-6210 or visit www.thegoodnewscenter.org. The Mission of The Good News: To share the love of Jesus Christ through hospitality, spiritual renewal and support of parish and family life. 2 Sharing the Good News • Vol. 4, No. 3 Annual Rosary Walk, Wed. Aug.5, 6pm Free, Open to All, Refreshments to Follow—Call for More Information! Scripture Reflection (2 Cor 9 ) Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you, so that in all things, always having all you need, you may have an abundance for every good work. National Recognition for Good News Programs! Personality differences, money woes, business failures, depression, difficulties raising children… Tensions in relationships cause deep fissures in marriages. Problems can seem so insurmountable that couples themselves can give up on salvaging their marriages. Two programs offered by The Good News Center help strengthen these hurting relationships by teaching skills that empower individuals to change their lives and improve their marriages. The Good News Center has been recognized by the National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers, at their 2009 National Conference June 25-29 in St. Paul, Minnesota, for offering these programs. The Center is the first known location where Retrouvaille and The Third Option programs are offered at the same site. Not only are both offered by The Center, but Exec. Dir. Mike Buckley, and his wife Andrea, have been heavily invested in both programs. ‘We have found that The Third Option and Retrouvaille dovetail well together to support couples seeking help for their marriages. Topics for both programs are similar, and we’ve found that couples who experience both programs have a greater chance of improving their marriage.” Couples’ needs, comfort levels and availabilities vary and no one program can be appropriate for all couples. While both programs stand on their own, The Good News Center strives to offer programs that will meet the critical needs of hurting marriages. The Third Option is an ongoing program of 2-hour sessions, held every other week. Retrouvaille is a full weekend of profound sharing and dialogue. Couples come away with a renewed commitment to make their marriage work. With new skills, and a sense of empowerment, they begin to talk without hurting each other; they learn to forgive; they find ways to not let small problems become big issues. Past participants say, “Retrouvaille has given us the opportunity to heal our relationship. Misery or divorce don’t have to be the only choices.” Thank You to our Generous Donors: (since our last publication) Cay Bintz Eileen Cichello Robert & Debra Crandall Disciples Michael & Deborah Dyer Hedy & JK Hage Fr. Richard Morisette Barb Jakubowski Kathleen Gambino Labb Lurena McNamara Bruce & Betty Petkovsek Dennis & Helene Toczala Fr. John Quinn Judy Williams Susan Carroll Virginia Chromczak James & Mary Crossman Les & Pat Diven Gina & Luca Esposito Fr. Philip Hearn Wayne & Ann Harris Jay & Lori Johnson Shirley M. Matilla Edward & Janet O’Toole Bertha Romanow Helen Trotta Walmart Is there a sadness or a hurt; anger or hostility; addiction or abuse; that causes your family to suffer? Learn how to give these things to God for healing… Healing wounded histories… Reconciling peoples… In today’s world we all need healing of generational woundedness—our wounded histories—for ourselves and our families. The healing and maturing that Christ offers is never solely an individual matter. Personal healing always promotes the healing and spiritual development of families. Brokenness, spiritual disorientation and stagnation, perpetuate through generations. Likewise, blessings flow down the generations through gratitude and forgiveness. ‘Healing the Family Tree’ Retreat, with Sr. Betsy Emery will be held at The Good News Center Fri. Oct. 2—Sat. Oct. 3 *There will be breaks, and Is there a sickness opportunities for individual or illness that runs prayer and reflection, throughout throughout your family? Is there an the retreat. addiction that *You are encouraged to bring controls someone photographs of your family, you love? including past generations, with you for the retreat experience. Fri. Oct. 2, 6:30pm—Sat. Oct. 3, 4pm Suggested Offering (or whatever you can afford): *$65 includes all sessions, meals and accommodation *$40 commuter fee includes all sessions & Sat. lunch *Inquire for FREE Childcare during Sessions* Registration is limited for this exclusive event— Contact us today! Sharing the Good News • Vol. 4, No. 3 3 Non-Profit Org. US Postage PAID Permit #336 Utica, NY 13502 The Good News Foundation of Central NY 10475 Cosby Manor Road, Utica, NY 13502 www.thegoodnewscenter.org [email protected] (315) 735-6210 Inside: *National Recognition! *Fireproof Your Marriage *3rd Annual MidSummer Night’s Dance *Healing Your Family Tree Plan your Family’s Summer ‘Staycation’... People everywhere are worried about the state of the economy. Extras, like vacations, have been cancelled. A great time can be had at home with a staycation. Staycations are vacations without travel. Follow these steps, and have a great family holiday without spending much money. Plan the Staycation: Research events and attractions in your local area. Once all the information has been gathered, the family should sit down and plan which things they would like to do. Lodging or Home Is Where to Stay: The family's lodging will be in their own home. A check-in desk could be set up and each family member could check into their room. The rooms should have do not disturb signs available. A schedule of events should also be left in each room to remind family members what will occur. Another fun way to do the lodging during a staycation is to camp out in the backyard. The family can roast marshmallows, make s'mores, and even tell ghost stories all in their own backyard. Dining in the House or Around the Town : When planning the staycation, a menu should be set up. This is the time for parents to let the kids choose the menu for one night. If a meal isn't completely balanced, it's okay because often, on vacation, meals are not exactly like those that families eat at home. Room service is a fun event to try when staying in a hotel. Each night of the staycation one family member could be responsible for the morning breakfast room service. Each family member sets up the room service menu based on what he or she is comfortable preparing. Enjoy the Staycation : The plans are made, the lodging and food decided on, so the only thing left to do is to enjoy the staycation. Family members should avoid the television and computer. The main idea is to spend an enjoyable time together. Sharing the Good News • Vol. 4, No. 3 4