1. family and parenting
2. children

when your child is healthy, your family is happy
Is Your Child
Shy or
Introverted?
Kids & Money
Manag ement
Bite Safety
summer 2012
Keep Kids Safe
on Mobile Devices!........ 2
inside this issue
Smart Money
Strategies for Kids......... 3
Shy or Introverted—
What’s the
Difference?.............. 4 & 5
Who’s Your Daughter’s
Fashion Influence?......... 6
Establishing Boundaries
with Your Daughter........ 6
contact
on the cover
contributors
our promise
Once Bitten…Do You
Know What to Do?........ 7
Knowing that every child’s
life is sacred, it is the promise
of Cook Children’s to
improve the health of every
child in our region through
the prevention and treatment
of illness, disease and injury.
Winifred King
Director of Public Relations
Jeff Calaway
Information and Publication Specialist
Making
App Time
Safe and Fun
Smartphones and tablets
aren’t just toys for grownups. They’re being taken
over by a group that really
knows how to play—kids.
With a variety of children’s apps
readily available, kids are quickly growing
accustomed to playing on portable devices.
If parents cautiously sift through these apps,
they’ll find many games and tools that can
greatly benefit their child’s education and
imagination.
Asking the Expert
Jody Hawkins, CISSP, information security
officer at Cook Children’s, recommends
these helpful tips for setting up proper app
playtime for children.
• Avoid free versions of games—Invest in
full versions—which typically cost only
a dollar or two—as free apps usually
come with advertisements that can lure
children away from an approved game.
•C
heck parent ratings—When perusing
the app store, look at star ratings as well
as comments and feedback from other
parents before downloading.
• I nteract with your child—Get to know
your child’s games by playing with them
and enjoying apps together.
Safe B ets
Ayden Cerda Flores, 4, was born
at 29 weeks. Ayden has been
treated for chronic lung disease,
allergies and walking pneumonia.
He has not gone a year of his
young life without spending at
least one night at Cook Children’s.
Today, he has doing well and loves
playing outside, especially T-ball.
801 Seventh Avenue
Fort Worth, TX 76104
682-885-4000
checkup
www.cookchildrens.org
• Keep administrative control—Though
your kids may protest, set up your own
accounts on your devices and make
sure to keep the password to yourself.
• Limit screen time—Though interacting
with devices is helpful for children,
too much screen time (more than two
hours daily) may not be beneficial.
Help your child experience wellrounded play by creating healthy
boundaries for interacting with
smart devices.
Receive children’s health information
in the palm of your hand by downloading
Cook Children’s KidsCheckup app for
free from the iTunes App Store.
Consider some of these parent-approved recommendations for tablet
and smartphone apps:
Drawing Pad—Encourages
development of motor skills
and inspires creativity as
children make their own
artwork
obicip Safe Browser—Originally
M
designed for school use, this app provides
secure Web interaction for children,
parents, schools and businesses by
utilizing blocking technology
I Hear Ewe—Teaches
toddlers how to match
animals with the sounds
they make
Timmy’s Kindergarten Adventure—
Builds kindergarten skills, such as
math, spelling, mixing colors and
telling time
Kids and
Money
Cook Children’s is not the only place where
Cory Rhoades, vice president, chief accounting
officer, balances the books.
Rhoades and his wife Dawnette make sure their six children
(ages 10 months to 14 years) care for their money in a responsible
fashion. During the ages of 8 to 12 years, the Rhoades’ children
learn this valuable life lesson through an allowance.
Each of the Rhoades’ older children receive an allowance of $20
a week. Ten percent of the allowance is given to a charity, such as
Cook Children’s or their church, another 50 percent goes to their
college fund, and the remaining 40 percent is spent as they choose.
Creating Long-term Goals
Rhoades said the allowance teaches his children about saving for
long-term purchases versus buying things without thought. He has
seen buyer’s remorse from his children after they purchased items
too quickly, but he’s also seen several save their money to buy an
iPod Touch.
“They saved for a long time,” he said. “Eight dollars a week to buy
a $200 item takes a lot of discipline, especially when they have other
things vying for their money. The three older children persisted and
ended up buying their iPods. They use them as alarm clocks in the
morning, to listen to music and to play games. They’ve had a lot of
enjoyment, and I think making them save for these items has been one
of the best fundamental lessons we’ve been able to teach them. There
is a benefit to having that delayed gratification.”
Learning Responsibility
From the time their kids are old enough to carry dishes from the table
to the dishwasher, the Rhoades give their children chores around the
house. The chores range from sorting laundry to mowing the lawn, and
these responsibilities help the Rhoades children appreciate their money
and understand how it is earned.
“We track all the money they are given in a master workbook,”
Rhoades said. “Every amount of money they earn, how much goes into
savings, how much goes to tithing—all that goes into the book. Their
responsibility is to track their personal spending money. We want them
to see that balance of long-term money growing, how much they’ve
earned throughout the year and how much they’ve given to charity.”
Rhoades points to his own job when talking to his children about
the importance of giving. Cook Children’s is able to fulfill its promise,
in part, through the generous donations of others.
To give to Cook Children’s, visit www.cookchildrens.org/giving.
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3
Don’t
Be
Shy.
.
…
Be an
Introvert!
Your child lacks
interest in social
gatherings and
is having trouble
making new
friends. Should
you be worried?
The Introvert Advantage
Experts agree that
introversion has more than
its fair share of benefits. A
recent top-selling book by
Susan Cain titled, Quiet: The
Power of Introverts in a World
That Can’t Stop Talking,
defends the case that
introverts can be innovators
and leaders as well as, if not better than,
extroverts. Studies show introverts tend to perform
better in school and are fascinated learning about
a wider array of subjects. Introverts are also less
susceptible to peer pressure and tend to develop
more loyal friendships.
If your child is introverted, he or she is joining
the ranks of famous and well-liked people such as:
yy Mahatma Gandhi
yy Albert Einstein
yy Steve Martin
yy Barbara Walters
yy Steven Spielberg
yy Isaac Newton
yy Tom Hanks
yy J.K. Rowling
yy Julia Roberts
4
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We often refer to children as “shy” or
“introverted,” but these two words have
very different meanings. Knowing whether
your child is socially anxious or introverted
may make a difference in how your child
interacts with the world.
Shy or Introverted:
What’s the Difference?
According to Lisa Lawson, M.A., LPC,
family therapist at Cook Children’s,
shyness is rooted in feelings of discomfort
or awkwardness around new people
that may stem from a fear of rejection,
ridicule or physical harm. Most children
go through stages of varying degrees of
shyness that may be brought on by natural
development, frightening tales of danger,
or an unfortunate real or perceived social
misstep. Shyness can less frequently be a
sign of a social phobia or social avoidance,
often tied to issues of self-esteem and
self-confidence.
“Even outgoing children can feel shy
at times,” Lawson said. “Kids can
overcome shyness or social anxiety as
they mature and learn to dispute irrational
or unhealthy fears.”
Understanding Introversion
On the other hand, Lawson describes
introversion as an inborn and lifelong
personality preference demonstrated
through a set of behaviors that may
sometimes present as shyness. An
introverted child can be shy and a shy
child can be introverted, and the degree
to which a child is either will vary.
Introversion is simply a way of
describing a person’s preference for, and
energy derived from, social interaction.
Although a child can enjoy being the team
captain or the class clown, at the end of
a day at school, the introverted child will
tend to prefer a night home with family
or alone in his or her room to recharge.
Take a look at the following list of
characteristics to learn which category
best describes your child.
Introverted children:
yy Can act like extroverts when the
situation calls for it.
yy Don’t avoid socializing, but tend
to choose solitude as a default.
yy Equally enjoy being alone and
having company.
yy Have one or two close friends.
Shy children:
yy Have difficulty being outgoing.
yy Dislike socializing because
of fear or anxiety.
yy Don’t enjoy company unless
it’s someone familiar.
yy May have no close friends.
From Timid to Talkative
Many children become shy during
certain developmental stages, especially
when they change schools or begin
spending more time away from parents.
Take note if you hear your child engage
in self-deprecating talk or mention that
he or she doesn’t seem to “fit in.” Seek
professional help if your child’s social
anxiety is disrupting his or her eating
and sleeping habits.
If you’re worried your child is too shy,
here’s what you can do to help.
yy Arrange a carpool to school with
classmates.
yy Don’t embarrass your child or put
him or her on the spot in public.
yy Let him or her know that being oneself
is the best way to make friends.
yy Respect your child’s need for
alone time.
yy Schedule play dates with one
friend and one other schoolmate
to encourage new friendships.
yy Share a few icebreakers and
encourage your child to rehearse
conversations beforehand in his or her
head or out loud in front of a mirror.
yy Sign him or her up for a school sport
or club of his or her choosing.
“Whether your child is shy, introverted
or both, provide controlled opportunities
for him or her to be exposed to new
children, but don’t force socialization,”
Lawson said. “If your child is happy having
just one or two good friends, that’s OK.”
We have so many stories to tell. Read some of them at www.wedoitallforkids.com.
Surviving the First Day of School
Transitioning from daycare to kindergarten can be
traumatic for any youngster. “Will I make friends?” “Will the
teachers like me?” “What should I say?” Your child may
ask all these questions as the first day approaches.
The best thing you can do is prepare your child for
what to expect. Walk your child through the first day hour
by hour. Arrange an early visit to see the classroom and
Here are
a few tips
to help you
adjust for
this day:
2
1
Allow yourself
a good cry.
meet new teachers. Schedule a play date with one future
classmate so your child knows someone beforehand.
What About Me?
The first day of school can be equally distressing for
parents. You’re nervous for your child, and you’re also
sentimental about seeing your little one grow up and
become less dependent on you.
Focus on your child’s
benefits—the new
experiences, friends
and learning he or she
will encounter.
3
4
Plan to use your
newfound free time
on hobbies you’ve
always wanted
to pursue.
Volunteer in advance to
chaperone school field
trips so you can take
part in this new phase
of your child’s life.
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5
Fashionably Dangerous
Whether your teenage daughter is trying to emulate her favorite
celebrity or an older cousin, sexually exploitive fashion has become
an increasingly alarming trend among teenage girls.
Bombarded with provocative images on
television, online and in magazines, your teen
can quickly become consumed with societal
pressures to “fit in.”
“Impressionable young women are
easily influenced from an early
age to dress more maturely,” said
Lena Zettler, MA, LPA, director
of psychology at Cook Children’s.
“It’s normal for a teenager to
experiment with clothing, but it’s
your responsibility as a parent to
set boundaries.”
Defining Age-appropriate Attire
While you don’t want your teen’s clothing
to be classified as outdated and subject her to
taunting at school, you also want to steer clear of
subjecting her to negative attention. Encourage
your teen to try and find her style, but always have
the final say in what she can or cannot wear.
“Most schools implement fairly strict dress
codes that your child has to comply with, so it’s
the recreational time at the mall, movies or on
a date that you should be concerned about,”
Zettler said. “Don’t overreact when your daughter
waltzes through the house in a miniskirt or tight
dress. Simply explain why she needs to change,
and remember to set a positive fashion example
at home.”
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to receive the latest health care information
and parental tips.
Be the Mom,
Not Another BFF
As your daughter travels through her teen years, it can sometimes
be tempting to act as her friend rather than her mother.
To help ensure your daughter’s positive
transition into womanhood, it’s better to
suppress your fear of being “un-cool” in
your teen’s eyes and work toward gaining
her respect instead.
“Sometimes, moms feel that stepping into
a peer-like role will enable them to find
out more about their daughters’ lives,”
said Lena Zettler, MA, LPA, director of
psychology at Cook Children’s. “Frequently,
however, that approach backfires, because
the information they learn isn’t always
innocent or pleasant. When you suddenly
step out of that friend role and become the
mother again, it’s very confusing to a teen.”
Finding the Balance
In general, mothers are the managers of
their children’s emotional and social lives.
Because of this, the line between friendships
and mother-daughter relationships can get
blurry. A good rule of thumb to remember—
most teens want to have friends their
own age, and their parent should play a
supportive role.
It’s imperative to enforce limits and set
expectations. If your relationship with your
daughter has teetered into “friend” territory,
it’s never too late to take back control.
yy Look to female friends and relatives
who’ve done a good job raising their
daughters for advice, and allow them
to mentor you.
yy Have an honest conversation with your
daughter to let her know you’re not
comfortable being her “friend” anymore
and why.
yy Ask what she needs—not wants—from
you as a mother.
Follow Cook Children’s on Twitter (@CookChildrens) to receive more parenting tips and ideas.
6
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Say Bye
to Bites
From playing with the
family pet to enjoying
the great outdoors,
your child could get
bitten by a dog.
Knowing how to
properly care for
the bite—along with
taking precautions to
prevent bites—can help
keep your child safe
and healthy.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), bites
occur more often from animals that children are familiar with than
wild animals. Sharon Evans, trauma injury prevention outreach
coordinator for Cook Children’s, teaches children pet safety using
the acronym D.O.G.S.A.F.E.:
D: Don’t tease or be mean to animals.
O:Only pet animals if given permission by pet owners and
your parents.
G: Give animals space, especially when they are eating.
S: Slow down and be as still as possible around animals.
A: Always tell a responsible adult if there is a strange animal
nearby or if an animal approaches or bites you.
F:Fingers should be kept together when petting animals.
Small fingers may resemble a treat.
E:Even good dogs bite.
While children need to put these rules into practice, adult
supervision around all animals is also a key component to
protecting your kids from animal bites.
Keep a Close Watch
The Humane Society of the United States estimates that 4.7
million dog bites occur each year in the United States, and about
half of those strike children younger than age 12. Your child
isn’t always safe around your own dog, even when your pet is
chained or tethered. According to The Humane Society, chaining
dogs builds stress and makes the dogs almost three times as likely
to bite as untethered dogs. It’s critical to supervise your children
at all times around any pet.
When the Bark Isn’t Bigger Than the Bite
If your child is bitten by a dog, the AAP recommends you
follow several steps to treat the wound, including:
yy Cover the bite with a clean cloth and apply pressure
to stop the bleeding.
yy Proceed by cleaning the area for five minutes with soap
and water.
yy Immediately contact your child’s primary care physician
to discuss additional care.
“If your child is bitten by a dog, it’s important to find out
whose dog it is and get proof that the dog is up to date on
its shots,” said Evans. “Your child’s doctor can recommend
additional treatment.”
To discover more child safety tips for your family, visit
www.cookchildrens.org and click “Safety and Prevention”
in the “Health Information” menu.
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This publication in no way seeks to serve as a substitute for professional medical care. Consult your physician before undertaking any form of medical treatment or adopting any exercise program or dietary guidelines.
Checkup’s not
just for reading
any more.
Thank you for
participating in the
2012 Drive for a Smile
toothbrush drive!
Watch Checkup segments
mornings on Channel 8, plus
Cook Children’s pediatricians
will address your child’s health
concerns on Good Morning Texas
between 9 and 10 a.m. on the
following Wednesdays:
June 20
Aug. 22
With your support,
more than 30,000
toothbrushes will go
to at-risk children in
Tarrant County this year.
Sept. 19
Oct. 17
Nov. 14