Options... for a brighter tomorrow Care Calendar
These monthly support groups are provided free of charge to anyone in the community by Forastiere Family Funeral
& Cremation. Please select the group most tailored to your loss. No registration or long-term commitment is needed.
Our Grief Specialist, Joanne Sullivan, welcomes you to attend the group whenever you need some support.
■ SF= Family and Friends Support For those who have lost a child, parent, sibling, or dear relative or friend.
Tucker’s Restaurant • 625 College Highway, Southwick • 6:30pm-8:00pm
■ AF= Family and Friends Support For those who have lost a child, parent, sibling, or dear relative or friend.
Captain Charles Leonard House • 663 Main Street, Agawam • 7:00pm-9:00pm
■ AW= Widowed Support In Agawam For anyone who has lost a spouse.
Captain Charles Leonard House • 663 Main Street, Agawam • 1:30pm-3:30pm
■ EW= Widowed Support In East Longmeadow For anyone who has lost a spouse.
Forastiere-Smith Grief Support Center • 220 North Main Street, East Longmeadow • 7:00pm-9:00pm
■ PS= Parent Support In East Longmeadow For parents and grandparents who have lost a child or grandchild.
Forastiere-Smith Grief Support Center • 220 North Main Street, East Longmeadow • 7:00pm-9:00pm
■ SS= Survivors of Suicide For anyone whose life has been touched by suicide.
Forastiere-Smith Grief Support Center • 220 North Main Street, East Longmeadow • 7:00pm-9:00pm
■ WSF= Family & Friends Support For those who have lost a child, parent, sibling, or dear relative or friend.
West Springfield Senior Center • 128 Park Street, West Springfield • 3:15pm-4:15pm
February
January
Sun.
4
Mon.
5
Tues.
6
Wed.
7
Thurs.
Fri.
Sat.
Sun.
Mon.
Tues.
Wed.
Thurs.
1
2
3
1
2
3
4
5
8
9
10
8
9
AF, AW
PS
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
SS
25 26 27
WSF/SF
15
6
Sat.
Sun.
Mon.
Tues.
Wed.
Thurs.
Fri.
Sat.
7
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
WSF/SF
10 11 12 13 14
PS
16 17 18 19 20 21
SS
22
Fri.
10 11 12 13 14
AF, AW
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
March
EW
23 24 25 26 27 28
AF, AW
15 16 17
SS
WSF/SF
22 23 24
PS
18 19 20 21
EW
25 26 27 28
EW
28 29 30 31
29 30
31
This newsletter provides us with an opportunity to share with you some information we hope will be helpful. For more information about any of these
topics or the services we have available to you, please call (413) 733-5311 (reaches all locations) or complete the information request form within.
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985 Main Street
Agawam, MA 01001
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220 North Main Street
East Longmeadow, MA 01028
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45 Locust Street
Springfield, MA 01108
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Full Circle
At Forastiere Family Funeral & Cremation, we are here to help before,
during and after your loss. Our care encompasses the full circle of your
experience... the full circle of your life.
The Forastiere Family
Funeral & Cremation
Newsletter
— WINTER 2015
In This Issue
1
Anger
2
Thank you note
3
Good Grief /
Poem
4
Calendar
Anger
By Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D
“Take this
sorrow to thy
heart, and make
it a part of thee
till thou art
strong again.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Anger is a heavy emotion,
one that seems more suited to
winter’s iciness than spring’s
gentleness. You can be angry
any time, but sometimes just the
appearance of the first daffodils,
or the sight of an iris peeking
through the last thin crust of
snow, is enough to fan the
embers of anger. Sometimes,
anger sweeps across the soul as
we hear a robin’s first notes or
simply see people smiling or as
we catch the faint smell of newly
mown grass. Seems a bit silly to
be angry about nature, but anger
doesn’t have to be rational to feel
real.
Sometimes anger has a name,
and we can clearly focus on its
face; the drunk driver, the
murderer, the suicide, the
disease, the injury, the overdose.
The event. Sometimes we have
people, places and events that
“serve” (at least in our mind) our
anger. Sometimes we don’t have
a specific target for our anger
and it becomes unfocused. We
may find ourselves “unsettled”
or anxious, filled with the
emotions of anger but with no
outlet. We want to “do
something” but may not have
effective or appropriate avenues
of expression.
Anger left unacknowledged
and unfocused can turn inward
and become fertile ground for
depression. We may feel
helpless,
powerless
and
overwhelmed by anger and that
can become depression if left
untended. A sense of despair can
quickly follow unresolved or
unrelenting anger and can
become more and more difficult
to find any sense
of peace, comfort or joy in
living. When anger is ignored, it
can grow into rage (whether
focused internally or externally)
can destroy even good memories
and leave us feeling even more
isolated, helpless and hopeless
than ever.
There are some things you can
do to ease the edges of anger’s
sword:
• Grow quiet inside, and learn to
listen. Become aware of your
feelings, and acknowledge
those feelings openly and
honestly. Writing them down or
talking about them with a
friend often helps. Once you
have become aware of your
anger and acknowledged it,
then you can act. Be specific in
your awareness. Do not
S P R I N G F I E L D • E A S T L O N G M E A D O W • A G AWA M • S O U T H W I C K
Continued on next page.
Anger
Continued from page 1.
generalize. “I’m angry at.....” is
more accurate than saying “I’m
just mad all the time.”
• Plan your actions by creating
some
personally
non-destructive
physical
activities that will help your
body release the physical
symptoms of anger. Your body
prepares itself to “fight or
flee.” Unless those hormones
and chemical messengers can
be released, they stay within
the body, creating an unhealthy
internal environment. Anger
causes great stress, both
physically and emotionally.
Find some non-destructive
activities to safely release your
anger.
• Pounding something.....a
pillow, a punching bag.
Pounding a nail into a piece of
wood sometimes helps, as does
using a child’s toy hammer.
Just remember not to pound
people, pets or plants!
Kneading bread is a great way
to release some of the energy
that anger creates and then you
can serve it to your family,
saying “I was thinking about
you today....
• Throwing things helps too. Try
tossing marshmallows. Buy
some garage sale china and
throw it against the garage door
(after carefully placing a
blanket on the ground to catch
the shattered pieces). Throw
bean bags or maybe even a
temper tantrum. A brief, but,
but well-timed temper tantrum
(especially when you are
alone) can be very therapeutic!
• Yell.....a verbal tantrum. You
can yell in the shower or while
driving the car. Keep the radio
on and the windows up.
Everyone will think you are
singing and you are....singing
your way to sanity in a world
gone mad. Just don’t yell at
someone or lose control of the
car. Adding to your anguish
doesn’t help.
• Weed a garden. Yank weeds,
yell at dandelions. When you
are done, you have a fertile
field where hope can grow.
• Focus your anger on something
constructive. Join an advocacy
group and work to change
procedures, policies and laws.
Many positive steps have been
taken with the focused,
constructive energy that anger
can generate.
Once anger has been
acknowledged and released
physically then talking and
exploring its source can also
help. Find a listening ear (or
two) and do some searching for
causes, reasons and further
expressive options.
Anger is as normal, natural
and necessary as all the other
emotions of grief. Don’t be
afraid of the intensity of your
feelings Learn to become
AWARE of what you feel.
ACKNOWLEDGE
those
feelings and ACT constructively
on them. Anger has the power to
destroy memories, emotions and
us. We can be consumed by the
flames of anger or warmed by
the energy it generates.
Hate and love are merely
opposite sides of the flame. Yet,
more has been built with light
and love than have been burnt by
the flames of hate. Work to
release the anger so love has a
place to grow.
May love be what you remember
the most.
Taken from Bereavement magazine
march/1998
“You alone can do it, but you cannot do it alone.”
― O. Hobart Mowrer
Thank you note
I just want to thank all of you who attended the Memorial Handling the Holiday program at either Colonial Funeral Home
in Agawam or Forastiere Smith Funeral Home in East Longmeadow. It was nice to see so many familiar faces as well as
meeting new people and families.
The next memorial program will be announced in the next newsletter, on our website (Forastiere.com) and on our
Facebook page–Like us and stay current with our programs.
As always, Joanne Sullivan
www.facebook.com/forastierefamilyfuneralhome
FORASTIERE FAMILY FUNERAL & CREMATION
Good Grief
by Joanne Sullivan, Grief Specialist
If you are reading
this newsletter you have
made it through the
h o l i d a y s –
CONGRATULATIONS!
Now the year ahead is
filled with private special
days that you will go
through, but you made it
through the big holidays.
Although every year
is almost the same on the
calendar, it is not in life.
Joanne Sullivan
As we go about our days
things happen that make
this year different from years previous. Some of the
things that will happen to you are good and happy
things, some will be difficult, while other things
will be extremely hard. I would like to talk about
time; how you spend your time after the death of a
loved one. Time seems to do funny things: stop,
slow-down, and often in hindsight, speed up. Time
plays tricks on those grieving, it is continuously
changing, and each minute is different than the
next. One minute you are fine and then the tears
will just fall, one minute you are laughing and the
next–well you know what I mean.
Often friends or acquaintances will mention
time in reference to grief: time heals all wounds,
give it time you will feel differently real soon, all
you need is a little time, you have too much time on
your hands; you need to get out and do something
and get involved.
Time can be a friend or a foe. When you are
grieving it is not just time that will help you through
the process, it is what you do with that time. GRIEF
WORK! Masters have studied, documented and
written about grief for hundreds of years. It is work,
it is hard and it is all encompassing. Doing your
grief work should be taken in baby steps and in
your own time. Everyone has a unique relationship
with the person who died. Even those in the same
family deal with death differently. Everyone is an
individual therefore grief is different for everyone.
People handle stress differently; reaching out for
support is different everyone, although there are
similarities in grieving there are also many
variables to consider.
Grief, it does not have a time limit, grief
continuously changes and it is not something that
you get over–but you can get through it.
Remember love doesn’t die, people do. Grief
doesn’t fade away; you have to face it, learn about
it, and allow the pain to come. It is not an event. It
is ongoing and is complicated, but at the same it is
an experience that you can grow from. Your body,
mind and spirit needs to be in balance, get them in
sync with each other be patient with yourself–it is
slow. Although you might think you are coming
apart, you are actually coming together. Those who
have grieved the death of a loved one will never
forget; the love will always be with them and they
will be changed forever by the experience.
You do have options although sometimes you
just can’t see them. My promise to you is that
Spring is coming and at some point the pain of your
loss will eventually ease up. We know it will
happen, we just don’t know when. Baby steps.
–Joanne.
The Strength of the Human Spirit
When I started my journey it seemed endless and the goal was out of sight.
But the human spirit is indomitable and cannot be squelched.
Hope is rekindled as we go along and fed by
the boundless love of those around us.
All we have to do is open our arms and our hearts
and believe in a power greater than we are
and in the awesome strength with in us.
Life can be beautiful, as beautiful as we are willing to make it.
It may not always be smooth; it will have its ups and downs
its hills and valleys,
but we can make it worthwhile if we are
able to give of ourselves
and savor what we are given in return.
To receive our Full Circle Newsletter it will be available on our website and via email. We will no longer be mailing the publication. The link on our
website will allow you to view and save the newsletter or if you would like it emailed directly please email us at [email protected]
with the word, “Newsletter” in the subject line and it will arrive every quarter. Our newsletter is at your fingertips, which includes our Care Calendar of
support groups. You may now download it, share with friends, or just store it for future reference.
413-733-5311 REACHES ALL LOCATIONS