1. family and parenting
2. children

Fall 2007 Vol. 49 No. 4
Caring for Children in Haiti
Inside: Gifts of Hope Christmas catalogue
Open
the eyes
of your
heart
Children in Eastern
Europe wait for
adoptive families.
Holt International is
looking for pioneer
families for:
• Kazakhstan
• Kyrgyzstan
• Ukraine
FINDINGFAMILIES
FORCHILDREN
Request an adoption information packet: www.holtinternational.org
Dear Readers
When you enter the Holt Fontana Village in Haiti, you come into the home of a
large family. Order and disorder coexist in comfortable balance there. It’s nothing
like many institutions where children are confined to stuffy rooms and activity suppressed so that a few caregivers can manage large numbers of children.
At Holt Fontana children roam and play freely, but with a ratio of one caregiver
to every three children, they can enjoy a relaxed closeness. Nearly everywhere you
look caregivers are engaged with children: combing hair (an endless activity at the
Village), returning a kicked ball, approving of some art project.
But one child sat by herself while the other children laughed and played. A
healthy-looking toddler with big, searching eyes, she held herself in cautious
reserve. Mansour Masse, Director of Holt Fontana Village, said that Rosie* had
come to the Village only a couple of months earlier, and that he wasn’t worried.
She was entering in more and more, he said, and soon she would be playing happily like the other children.
Children are remarkably resilient, and time is a healer, of course. But with
children time is an urgent matter. Every day a child endures without the permanent bonds of belonging in a family—is a day of loss in their lives. For Holt
International the need of children to develop and grow means that they should be
placed with a permanent family as quickly as possible. We advocate for prompt
processing wherever we can. Children cannot wait for cultures to change or
bureaucracies to turn over. Every hour of childhood is a precious commodity.
Before I left, I noticed Rosie approaching her caregiver and reaching up with her
hands—the universal, wordless gesture of children asking to be picked up.
-------------As we approach the Christmas season, we hope that your home will be warm with
love and God’s peace. We know that around the world children and parents are
reaching for each other, but many are not together yet. We pray especially for those
children and parents who must wait until the day they are united as a family.
* not a real name
—John Aeby, Editor
contents
holt’s work in haiti
Children of a Broken Paradise Holt Adoptee Camps
Things to Do While You Prepare adoptees today
Coming Full Circle
28
Adopting a son from Korea brings a sense of
completion to a Korean adoptee.
departments
Update
Directions
Around the Globe
From the Family
Family Tree Waiting Child Neighborhood Calendar
4
5
12
16
18
24
30
In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help
children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the
Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other
orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International
Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them
as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Cambodia, China,
Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea), Ethiopia, Guatemala, Haiti, India,
Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia, Nepal, the Philippines, the Republic of Korea (South Korea),
Romania, South Africa, Thailand, Uganda, Ukraine, the United States and Vietnam.
President & CEO Gary N. Gamer
Vice-President of Programs & Services Carole Stiles
Vice-President of Marketing & Development Phillip A. Littleton
Vice-President of Public Policy & Advocacy Susan Soon-keum Cox
Vice-President of Finance & Administration Kevin Sweeney
Board of Directors
Chair Kim S. Brown Vice-Chair Will C. Dantzler President Emeritus Dr. David H. Kim
Secretary Claire A. Noland Members Andrew R. Bailey, Julia K. Banta, James D. Barfoot,
Rebecca C. Brandt, Dean Bruns, Wilma R. Cheney, Clinton C. Cottrell, Cynthia G. Davis, A. Paul
Disdier, Rosser B. Edwards, Kim A. Hanson, Joseph P. Matturro, Jeffrey B. Saddington, Richard J.
Salko, Shirley M. Stewart, Steven G. Stirling
Holt International magazine is published quarterly by Holt International Children’s Services,
Inc., a nonprofit Christian child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible
for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are
not necessarily those of the organization.
Editor John Aeby
Managing Editor Alice Evans
Graphics Brian Campbell, Alice Evans, Chloe Goldbloom
Subscription Orders/Inquiries and Address Changes
Send all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine,
Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to
cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United
States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no
responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts, or photos.
California Office
3807 Pasadena Ave., Suite 115, Sacramento, CA 95821
Ph: 916/487.4658 Fax: 916/487.7068
Midwest Office Serving Iowa, Nebraska and South Dakota
10685 Bedford Ave., Suite 300, Omaha, NE 68134
Ph: 402/934.5031 Fax: 402/934.5034
27
Waiting for a child assignment is a
challenging time, but it can also be fruitful.
Our Mission
Holt International is dedicated to carrying out God’s plan for every child to have a permanent,
loving family.
Arkansas Office
25 Whispering Drive, Edgemont, AR 72044
Ph/Fax: 501/723.4444
10
adopting
Holt International Children’s Services
P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402
Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175
Reprint Information
Permission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt
International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor John Aeby at 541/687.2202 or
[email protected].
6
Holt provides loving care for children and
brings hope into lives of people who have
little reason to hope.
jumping for joy
Fall 2007 vol. 49 no. 4
Cover: Two girls from Holt Fontana
Village, dressed in their school
uniforms, step proudly on their way
to catch the Village truck to school.
Story p. 6
Missouri Office/Kansas Office
203 Huntington Rd., Kansas City, MO 64113
Ph: 816/822.2169 Fax: 816/523.8379
122 W. 5th St., Garnett, KS 66032
[email protected]
New Jersey Office
340 Scotch Rd. (2nd Floor), Trenton, NJ 08628
Ph: 609/882.4972 Fax: 609/883.2398
Oregon Office
Capitol Plaza 9320 SW Barbur Blvd., Suite 220, Portland, OR 97219
Ph: 503/244.2440 Fax: 503/245.2498
Copyright ©2007 By Holt International Children’s Services, Inc.
ISSN 1047-7640
ACCREDITED BY
COUNCIL ON
ACCREDITATION
www.holtinternational.org 3
update
For ways to celebrate, visit: childwelfare.
gov/adoption/nam/activities.cfm
Lemonade Sales
Thanks to 11-year-old
Molly Bicksler for raising
$350 for children at the
Mother’s Love Orphanage
in China.
Photos and Stories
We’d love to receive your family and
child photographs for a variety of Holt
publications–including the Family Tree section of this magazine, brochures, booklets,
newsletters and the Holt calendar. Upload
digital photos at holtinternational.org/submissions.
Adopted from Nanning
in 1995, Molly says she
opened her lemonade
stand every Saturday
throughout the summer,
selling lemonade, cookies
and buckeyes.
“Would you please see
that the babies get this
money?” she asked in
the card she sent to Holt
staff. Yes, Molly—we will!
Molly Bao Bicksler at her lemonade stand in Pennsylvania.
Holt Artists
NewSong and other Christian performing
artists continue to bring the message of
Holt International Child Sponsorship to
their audiences.
For upcoming dates for the Thanksgiving
and Christmas concert series for NewSong,
go to newsongonline.com. For concert
dates for other Holt artists, visit these websites:
Aaron & Amanda Crabb
aaronandamandacrabb.com
Crabb Revival
crabbrevival.net
Crossroad
anthonyfacello.com
Eddie Middleton
(website not yet built)
Jason Crabb
jasoncrabb.com
Jeremiah People
continentalsingers.com
Jubilee Conferences
jubileeconferences.com
Julian Drive
juliandrive.com
Mike & Kelly Bowling
mikebowling.net
Nate Sallie
natesallie.com
Russell & Kristi Johnson
rkpraise.net
X-Treme Conferences
xtremeconferences.com
Haiti Cookbook
Sales of the Kids from Haiti Cookbook
(Holt International magazine Spring 2007)
raised $22,000 to benefit children of Haiti
being cared for at the Holt Fontana Village.
The cookbook, developed by Holt adoptive parent Natasha Hixon and others, was
originally conceived as a memory book for
children living at the Village. The Hixon
family brought home their adopted daughter, Katiana, from Haiti in September.
Adoption Month
National Adoption Awareness Month in
November is a great time to spread the
word about children throughout the world
who need families–and to acknowledge
adoption as a great way to build a family.
NewSong visited Holt programs in China, 2006.
4 Fall 2007
Holt also needs stories of 250-1,000 words
about Holt adoption, adult adoptee experiences and sponsoring a child through
Holt Sponsorship for the E-newsletter, Holt
International magazine and China Moon
newsletter. To all China adoptive families
and those in process who are involved
in both standard and parallel processing
through the Waiting Child program, we are
especially looking for your success stories
and stories about strategies for dealing with
the long wait. E-mail [email protected] for guidelines.
2007 Graduates
Lundmark, Alex—Vero Beach, FL (adopted
from Russia); Phi Theta
Kappa, National Eagle
Scout Association, intermural football. BSBA
in finance from the
University of Central
Florida in Orlando.
Plans a career in law
enforcement.
Miller, Hillary—Albert
Lea, MN (adopted from
Korea); Honor Graduate,
NHS, school newspaper,
choir, wrestling statistician. Plans to major
in pre-pharmacy at
Creighton University in
Omaha, NE.
Ruchti, Katie—Omaha,
NE (adopted from
Korea); President Tri-M
Honor Society, Student
Council, NHS, marching band section leader,
black belt TaeKwonDo,
Promise and Leadership
scholarships. Majoring
in journalism at the University of South
Dakota in Vermillion, SD. ■
directions
Holt’s Childcare Programs...
embody principles soon to be mandated by
The Hague
by Gary N. Gamer, President and CEO
A
As 2007 draws to a close, reviewers are fanning out across
the United States to assess accreditation compliance of agencies engaged in intercountry adoption. This is one of the final
stages in the long road for the United States to ratify The Hague
Convention on Protection of Children and Cooperation in Respect
of Intercountry Adoption, an international treaty that sets ethical
standards of practice for adoption.
Holt International sat at the table in The Hague when the treaty
was being formulated in the early 1980s. We have been steady
advocates for its formulation into law and application of principles
ever since. The Hague, in part, is based on Holt practices through
the years. It is part of the legacy of Harry and Bertha Holt and the
great work of our staff and partners around the world.
The values of Holt International are not empty rhetoric. In practice they are our life breath.
We believe in:
• Finding families for children.
• Working in the best interest of children.
• Giving parents confidence that the children they adopt have
little chance of being in families in the country of their birth.
• Establishing partner agencies around the world with impeccable child welfare skills and ethics.
In Ukraine, Holt International’s Families for Children Program is helping to restructure child welfare work, operating under a development grant from USAID.
• Helping to realize God’s plan that every child has a family of
his/her own.
agency on the occasion of our accreditation review. He spoke to
our assembled staff and especially singled out the standard that
Holt sets with intercountry adoption in a world beset with bad
practice and ethical violations.
A Reason to Celebrate
“You can learn from a great organization what to do,” Klarberg
said. “Obviously, Holt is a great organization.”
• Demonstrating transparency.
In early October Hague reviewers came to Holt’s offices. Our
values, policies and procedures were on full display. Although
rigorous, the accreditation process was a celebration of sorts. It
seemed as though we were coming full circle, over 50 years after
the trailblazing acts of faith of the Holt family when they adopted
children from Korea.
For Holt there have been more than 39,000 miracles to celebrate.
But today’s intercountry adoption world is controversial. There is
ample evidence of practice that is driven by market forces, rather
than services for children that best meet their needs. Some countries, such as Romania, have closed their doors to intercountry
adoption because improper financial dealings were perceived of
as uncontrollable. Other countries have altered their adoption systems that now greatly limit the placement of children who could
benefit from families in other countries. The realities are complex.
The Hague Convention is there to build better safeguards in the
system for children and families and governments.
Richard Klarberg, the President of the Council on Accreditation
(the national Hague accrediting body), made a special trip to our
Although Hague reviewers cannot announce accreditation
results for several months, I am confident Holt will pass with flying colors. This is a tribute to Holt’s staff, our global partners, our
Board staying true to our mission and, of course, our founders.
After initial phases of accreditation are complete, the U.S. government will deposit its papers in The Netherlands toward the end of
this year or early in 2008. Three months later the United States
will be officially a Hague-ratified country and will officially come
under the framework of this treaty.
Hague accreditation will not resolve all the challenges faced by
children in protecting their right to be in a family. But clearly it is
a major step in the right direction, a foundation that we must build
on to ensure intercountry adoption has a lasting future as long as
children need foreign families.
I thank all of you who support our mission by adopting children, financially contributing to life-giving services to children, volunteering your time and praying for God’s blessings and guidance.
You have been a vital part of The Hague process as well. ■
www.holtinternational.org 5
Children of a
Paradise
Broken Paradise
Holt’s work in Haiti provides loving care for
children and brings hope into lives of
people who have little reason to hope
by John Aeby
Director of Communications
W
“Welcome to paradise,” announced the pilot after our plane
bumped down hard on the airstrip seemingly in the middle of a
vast tropical village.
Paradise is an apt description… when you view Haiti from a
distance. North of Port-au-Prince it was truly spectacular: an azure
sea laps lazily on a white, curving shore; deep green mountains
soar in the background; palm trees, bougainvillea and other lush
tropical growth overflow nearly everything.
Up close though, Haiti presents a harsh reality. Our drive on
the coastal highway (a narrow two-lane road) was a gauntlet of
washouts, rubble, wicked speed bumps and crater-size potholes.
The third poorest country in the world, Haiti is unable to provide
adequate opportunities for its people, evident in the shanties jumbled together, sellers struggling to hawk a vegetable or two from a
scant basket, people wringing a few pieces of laundry washed in
a mocha-colored flood.
In rural areas of Haiti, four out of five households live below the
poverty line, over 60 percent of children 1 to 4 years old are underweight, only 38 of every 1,000 children who enter kindergarten
will complete secondary school. The country’s stability appears to
depend upon the UN forces patrolling in jeeps with soldiers car6 Fall 2007
rying guns at the ready. Armored personnel carriers positioned at
strategic intersections projected a contradictory message: they’re
here making it safe, but they’re here because it’s not safe.
Fortunate Children
An hour’s drive from the Port-au-Prince airport, we turned off
the road, and then down a rough gravel lane where Holt Fontana
Village sits anchored in the midst of the tropical growth. The gate
slides open revealing a small, self-contained community. Two
rows of four neat and sturdy cottages line the driveway. The
rest of Haiti has intermittent (at best) power and little access to
clean water, but at Holt Fontana Village a water tower at the back
supplies clean water, and a solar power generation plant keeps
everything running. The Village’s satellite uplink provides Internet
access that also doesn’t depend upon Haiti’s infrastructure.
Credit for the engineering of the Village’s independence goes
to Peter Fontana, a former college physics professor who built the
facility and partnered with Holt to run the program. Peter and his
wife Shay have been long-time partners with Holt.
As impressive as the facility is at Holt Fontana Village, it’s the children who catch your eye. A couple of healthy-looking boys romp
Families living in poverty—where Holt
has started family assistance/preservation efforts—stand in stark contrast to the
glow of healthy confidence revealed by
one of the girls (right) who lives at the Holt
Fontana Village.
after a bright yellow soccer ball. Some girls sit with a caregiver.
Two girls wrap their arms over the caregiver’s shoulder, while she
methodically parts and combs out a third girl’s hair before braiding
it. Their ease tells a lot about their closeness and attachment with
each other. Some of the 28 children at Holt Fontana are a little shy
at first, but soon you start to pick up many signs of health: they are
openly happy, inquisitive, with clear, clean skin and fresh clothes,
bright smiles and sparkling eyes. These are fortunate ones. Most
of the children go out for school daily, but within the walls of Holt
Fontana Village, they are safe and nurtured, while being prepared
for the next hopeful chapter in their lives.
Mansour Masse, the director of Holt’s efforts in Haiti, introduces
us to children at Holt Fontana Village by name. With each one, he
exchanges a little friendly jab or joke, or he simply picks up little
ones in his big arms, eliciting brilliant smiles. One little girl shies
away and clings to her caregiver when Mansour reaches for her.
“Jacqueline* will come around,” he says. “She’s only 7 months
old, and she’s been here only six weeks.”
The little girl still carries some effects of a poor start in life. Six
months without adequate nutrition and living in unhygienic conditions have left her weak with infections and skin rashes. The
better diet at Fontana has filled her out more like a healthy toddler,
but Jacqueline isn’t very strong yet, and her somewhat disconnected eye contact shows that she has some catching up to do.
Another girl, Rosie*, has been at the Village a month longer, and
while she still has some of the reserve of a recent arrival, she is
stronger and more attached to the Holt Fontana caregivers.
You can see that children who have been at Fontana Village for
several months are comfortable and outgoing. New arrivals are shy
only until they understand how secure and loved they are there.
“We are like a family here,” says Mansour, whom the children
call “Pappie.”
A short time later when one of the boys gets a little too rambunctious, Mansour gives him a time out. The boy stands facing a
wall for five minutes or so until Mansour walks over, puts his arm
over the boy’s shoulder and says a few words, absolving him of his
misdeed and encouraging him to be more thoughtful. With a final
squeeze, he lets the boy go, but the boy remains, determined to
pout a little longer. No matter. Mansour stays nearby but gives the
boy no additional attention. A few minutes later, the boy quietly
wanders off. Such is life in a family. A little later yet, this same
boy is playing happily once again.
www.holtinternational.org 7
Clockwise from top left: Director Mansour Masse teases a girl at Holt Fontana Village about the number of beads in her hair. • A mother and daughter who will receive
assistance through Holt’s family preservation program entitled Fanmi Ansamn (Family Together). • Two girls in care at Holt Fontana Village. • While sitting in the lap
of her housemother, baby Jacqueline* receives a checkup from the Village onsite nurse. • Ample, nutritious meals help make children at Holt Fontana Village some of
the fortunate few of impoverished Haiti. Bottom right: The children at Holt Fontana Village affectionately refer to Director Mansour Masse as “Pappie.”
Fanmi Ansanm
Mansour weaves our car through a dirty market, dodging crowds
of people and potholes of muddy water before stopping near a
weathered stick frame with a thatched roof that serves as a market
stall. A pile of charcoal, a basket with a few greens and a pan with
grain seem to be the full extent of the stall’s merchandise.
We get out of the car and walk behind the stall, winding
through an otherworldly space that is the world of the Haiti poor.
The uneven ground, covered with rubble and broken stones, is
nearly devoid of plants by the press of many feet. Run-down
buildings lie scattered at haphazard angles under the dark shade
of trees. A couple of men without any kind of protective gear
bend over rickety frames of metal, touching off welding sparks.
A woman stirs the contents of a smoke-smudged pot heating over
a few smoldering sticks. People stare at us, uneasy questions on
their faces. We are of another world.
Mansour takes us to a corner of one building and introduces us
to a young adult man. Two young girls who should be in school
stand nearby. The reddish tinge of their hair indicates some level
of malnourishment. I have only a few words of French with which
to try to convey a little respect. I wish I could apologize for our
invasion.
The young man’s home is a single room about six feet by eight
feet. He lives in this space with seven siblings and his single
mother. The walls stop at about seven feet high with just open
space under the rafters. There is no privacy here. No bathroom.
No kitchen. No stores of food. Just a small bed. It seems impossible for eight people to live here.
While it also seems impossible to make a difference in the face
of such overwhelming poverty, Holt is making headway, one family at a time.
8 Fall 2007
In 2006 Holt along with Rotary International and Rotary Clubs
in St. Marc, Haiti, and St. Augustine, Florida, launched “Fanmi
Ansanm” (Family Together) centered in the village of Mowine,
about a half hour north of Fontana Village. A three-year grant
from Rotary International is providing the initial funding while
Holt sponsors are expanding the program’s outreach and will continue the work into the future.
It takes an incredibly small amount of assistance to make a
major impact on lives of children here, but in order to bring about
lasting change, it takes a commitment to stay involved. That’s a
hallmark of Holt’s family preservation efforts. Mansour told us of
one single mother helped by Fanmi Ansanm. Initial assistance
improved the children’s health and nutrition and got them back
into school. Training, a sewing machine, and ongoing encouragement enabled the mother to start a dressmaking business. Now the
mother supports herself and her children. Now she has hope.
All parents who come to the Fanmi Ansanm office must confront
their responsibilities to their children—for their well-being and for
their education. Several single mothers have already measured
their ability to provide for children and made the difficult decision
to relinquish a youngest child or the youngest siblings. These have
come to Holt Fontana Village and will one day be adopted. The
scope of profound responsibility to these people and their children
seems almost unfathomable.
Pink Dress
Two men and a little girl arrive at Holt Fontana Village one afternoon. The girl, about 4 years old, wears a pink party dress and
shabby shoes. After their initial interview, the men stand outside
the office and talk with members of the Holt Fontana staff. The
little girl occupies herself, walking around and twirling, as if she’s
testing out her dress. Was it purchased just for this visit?
I try to fathom what the little girl is thinking as the adults talk.
She seems oddly oblivious of the serious discussion.
The little girl walks between the two men, but neither one takes
her hand as they open the gate and depart.
The men claim to be cousins of the girl’s mother, and they ask
if Holt Fontana can take in the little girl so she can be adopted.
Her father recently died, they say, and the mother can’t care for her
any more. The staff is helpful, earnest about the girl’s needs, but
they are cautious, too. Yes, Holt Fontana staff want to help, but
they can’t do anything until they meet with the mother. Also, the
mother must bring the father’s death certificate.
How often does this sort of thing happen at Holt Fontana, we
ask Mansour. Once, maybe twice a week, he says. It immediately
becomes apparent how important it is to increase the capacity of
Holt Fontana Village to care for more children. Holt is currently
undertaking efforts to build four more cottages and a playground.
That will expand the Village’s capacity to 60 children. Because the
adoption process can take one to two years, that capacity will be
fully utilized very quickly.
It’s easy to jump to conclusions about a family’s situation. It’s
tempting to take in the little girl for her protection, but much is at
stake. Even if she does eventually enter Holt Fontana for adoption,
how the organization receives her and documents her legal situation can make or break any future opportunity she might have for
a family. What if the father is alive? Most importantly, until the
staff talk with the mother and counsel her, they have no way of
knowing if relinquishment is really what she wants or what’s best
for the little girl. What if Holt offered help to the mother, would
she still choose adoption? These questions must be asked.
Whether it’s adoption or family preservation, Holt Fontana is
ready to bring all of the help they can as soon as the mother
decides for her daughter. The men say they will return with the
mother. After saying their goodbyes, they walk toward the gate.
Some time later, we ask how many other adoption agencies like
Holt Fontana are helping children in Haiti.
Mansour’s answer comes with conviction—and a hint of a smile.
“There are NO other agencies like Holt in Haiti.”
Mansour speaks with pride and excitement for the work they do.
There are orphanages and other adoption agencies, but only Holt
Fontana provides a program that helps families stay together and
cares for children relinquished for adoption. ■
* not a real name
Holt Fontana Village Housing Project
In the midst of dire circumstances, Holt
Fontana Village stands as a truly remarkable haven of hope for homeless children.
With its own solar power generation and
water supply systems, the Village can
provide a safe, nurturing environment
for children despite Haiti’s inadequate
infrastructure.
Children usually arrive weak, malnourished and carrying infections because
of their previous unsanitary conditions.
Within weeks, the nurturing care and
medical treatment of Holt Fontana staff
bring children back to healthy development. The devoted staff have established
a loving family-like atmosphere where
children can flourish until placed with
permanent adoptive families.
However, Holt Fontana Village is limited
by its capacity. Currently 28 children live
there, and it can accommodate more only
as children are placed with adoptive families. Every week new children are brought
to the Village, but already some children
are sharing beds.
The Village has an adjacent space ready
to build four more children’s cottages
and a playground. With these cottages
the Village will be able to accommodate
60 children. This increased capacity will
enable Holt Fontana Village to make a
profound difference in the lives of many
more children as they come into care, are
nurtured back to health and placed with
loving, adoptive families.
Holt International is committed to
meeting the estimated $100,000 cost of
construction for these four new houses
at the Village. Additionally, the Village
needs a replacement vehicle for transporting children to school, hospital and
elsewhere (estimated cost: $30,000).
To donate or to find out more about
this project, contact: Holt Development
Director Kassey Young at kasseyy@
holtinternational.org or (541) 687-2202.
www.holtinternational.org 9
holt adoptee camp
Jumping for Joy
Holt Adoptee Camp is a safe place to make friends and find out more about yourself, the
world, and how to get along in it
by Alice Evans, Managing Editor
W
What’s the best thing about Holt Adoptee
Camp?
“Everyone will tell you—it’s hanging out
with friends who understand your story,”
said Camp Director Steve Kalb, now in his
third year leading Holt’s summer camp program for adoptees.
Friendship is a great discovery—and
some of the best friendships are made at
summer camp.
Under Kalb’s leadership, the Holt Adoptee
Camp became accredited by the American
Camp Association in 2005, a stamp of
approval that speaks to the quality and
safety of the program. This year, 322
adoptees attended camps in four locations
throughout the United States, a 30 percent
increase over 2006.
Only Game in Town
Crafts, games, talent shows, songfests…
these are some of the usual features of
summer camp. But in addition to these
standards, Holt Adoptee Camp has initiated
new features in recent years that make it
different from other camps for adoptees.
“It’s the only resident camp program
designed specifically for international and
transracial adoptees that focuses on adoption issues rather than around birth cultures,” said Kalb. “Other adoptee camps
are more focused on birth culture.”
Camp Highlights
Quotes from campers and their
parents
• “It was a life-changing experience
for my son.”—Parent
• “Our son greatly enjoyed the camp
and it seems to have had a very
positive impact on his ability and
desire to talk to us about racial and
adoption issues.”—Parent
• “He had such a blast he didn’t
10 Fall 2007
Holt originated birth culture camps for
adoptees back in the mid-1960s, when
most international adoptees of camp age
were Korean born. By celebrating birth
culture, the early Holt Heritage Camp
offered a significant opportunity for adoptees to come together to learn more about
their motherland through cooking Korean
food, making Korean crafts, and otherwise learning about the culture. Birth
culture remained a significant feature of
Holt camps until just a few years ago,
when the rising numbers of Holt campers
from China, India and other countries—
including transracial American adoptees—
brought attention to the need for changes.
want to come home.”—Parent
• “What a great time he had and he is
not only planning to go next year, but
also said he wants to be a counselor
someday!”—Parent
• “I liked that there are lots of people
just like me that go through the same
things as me.”—Camper
• “Camp made me feel really good
about myself.”—Camper
• “I’d go back next year because the
staff is cool.”—Camper
Mission Statement
Holt International Adoptee
Camp will provide an environment of physical and emotional
safety, self discovery, and fun.
Within a community of adoptees, campers will share their
common experiences while exploring issues of adoption, race,
and identity development.
Philosophy of Camp
• Cooperation, not competition.
• Richness of difference.
It simply became too complicated to
match birth culture activities to the multiplicity of ethnicities, Kalb explained. And
furthermore, many campers were looking
for a different kind of experience, one
that provided context to the challenges
they faced in homogenous communities
throughout the United States.
“We do touch on birth culture in a
sense—for example, we discuss why relinquishment might occur,” Kalb said.
Adult Adoptee Panel
This year, Kalb reintroduced something for
the parents—an Adult Adoptee Panel—two
hours of strictly adult programming “to
give parents a sense of what we talk about,
and a glimpse into what the kids think.”
Parents were invited to attend this session
on the last day of camp, and it was something very powerful for them, said Kalb.
Four of the counselors joined together to
comment on two standing questions:
• Freedom with responsibility.
• The value of respectful conflict.
Goals
• To create a community of adoptees
and build positive relationships between adult adoptees and campers.
• To share common concerns about
adoption, race, and identity through
community and education.
• To foster personal growth that allows
the campers to succeed during and
after camp.
• To create opportunities for leadership development.
• What could your parents have done
better with regard to adoption as you were
growing up?
For many, it was a chance to find mentorship among older adoptees who served
as counselors.
• What could your parents have done
better with regard to race and racism as you
were growing up?
By being with other transracial and
international adoptees in a safe setting that
celebrates the unique issues adoptees face,
and through working with a cutting edge
curriculum based on adoption, identity,
race and racism—adoptees who attend the
Holt Adoptee Camp continue to find not
only great companionship, but challenging
experiences that will help them to grow
and to better understand how to navigate
their world. ■
“All the panelists love their parents and
have great lives,” Kalb commented. “This
was an opportunity to talk about some relevant social issues in a safe context.”
Parents were curious about whether or
not the panelists, who were college students or recent high school graduates, had
experienced any animosity among other
parents or the community over dating. It
proved to be an “eye-opening experience
for them,” Kalb said. “A flash forward for
their own child.”
“Overall, it was a good year,
and campers had a great experience for the most part,” Kalb said.
2008 Holt Adoptee Camp
For all international and transracial
adoptees ages 9–16 years old.
• Oregon
• California
• New Jersey
• Nebraska
Go to the Holt website at
www.holtinternational.org/
camps for more information,
or contact Steve Kalb, Camp
Director, at: stevek@
holtinternational.org or
(541) 687-2202.
www.holtinternational.org 11
Globe
Nepal
Newly enrolled in the Holt Child
Sponsorship Program, 25 Nepalese children now need sponsors to support their
nurture and care. In June, Holt joined
with Nepal Child Conservation Home to
improve the health and nutrition of children in this family-based childcare center.
Holt brought in a physician and increased
the number of caregivers at the center.
Holt is also working on developing an
intercountry adoption program in Nepal.
A child in care—Nepal, 2007.
India
Holt to Survey Orphanages
Children of the World Bombay (CWB)
celebrated its 25th anniversary in October.
CWB is one of three Holt partner agencies in India. Founded in 1982 at the
initiative of Holt, CWB cares for about 50
children in a splendid childcare facility in
New Bombay. CWB has a large outreach
program that provides educational funds,
food supplements and medical care for
about 1400 children. CWB also supports
several income-generating projects to assist
women.
Guatemala
Holt International started a nine-month
project in October to help the children
of Guatemala, funded by a grant from
the United States Agency for International
Development (USAID).
Estimates place the number of orphaned
children in Guatemala at around 370,000,
but no one knows how many childcare
institutions exist in Guatemala, what the
state of the facilities are like, staff qualifications, or the number, age, gender and
health status of the children. The second
largest sending country to the United States
for international adoptions, Guatemala also
has one of the most corrupt, unregulated
systems.
For many years Holt International and the
U.S. State Department have been working
together with Guatemalan officials to bring
improvements to international adoptions
from Guatemala. The current First Lady of
Guatemala and a number of highly placed
Guatemalan government administrators are
committed to bringing Guatemala into
international compliance.
Child in care at a government shelter—Belgorod,
Ukraine, 2007.
12 Fall 2007
Through the USAID grant Holt will develop
the conceptual framework and professional resources needed as a first step in
reforming Guatemala’s child welfare and
adoption system, and in implementing the
requirements of The Hague Convention.*
Holt will conduct a baseline survey of
Guatemalan childcare institutions as well
as provide training in best practices for
Guatemalan officials, academics and practi-
tioners through seminars and study tours.
* The Hague Convention on Protection of
Children and Cooperation in Respect of
Intercountry Adoption is an international
treaty that sets ethical standards of practice
for adoption.
Ukraine
USAID recently added a one-year extension to its three-year development grant to
Holt International’s Families for Children
Program (FCP). FCP is helping to restructure child welfare work in Ukraine by funding relief nurseries, parent training, foster
care, rehabilitation work for street children
and other innovative programs.
Holt is also actively recruiting pioneer
adoptive families for children as young as
18 months at time of match.
Kyrgyzstan
Holt’s new Program Director in Kyrgyzstan
is Dmitry Petrov. He works from our
Bishkek office and will be assisting families
in the Kyrgyz and Kazakhstani programs.
For more information about adopting children through our Eastern European and
other country programs, visit our website: www.holtinternational.org/adoption/
criteria.shtml
Romania
Holt Romania Foundation broke ground for
a new Parent Resource Center and office in
Surgery Project in China
Helping Children with TEV
Orphanage children with clubfoot now
have hope for effective treatment
thanks to a new project initiated by Holt
International in China.
Clockwise from center:
Baby Liu goes through
an evaluation for surgery for TEV. • Liu
rests in the crib with
legs and feet in a cast
two months after surgery. • Four months
later reveals a happy
outcome for Liu.
Clubfoot, or talipes equinovarus (TEV),
affects about one in every 1,000 live
births worldwide, making it a fairly common birth defect. Left untreated the
feet deform as the person walks essentially on the sides of the feet or ankles.
For children in Chinese orphanages,
this condition severely diminishes their
chances of being adopted or surviving
in society. To solve this situation, Holt
staff are evaluating and identifying children with TEV in orphanages in China
and recommending them for surgery.
The project will transport children from
all around China to Guangzhou near
Hong Kong, where Holt has joined with
an orthopedic surgeon and a physical
therapist, both of whom have a special
expertise in treating TEV.
After surgery the children will remain
in Guangzhou four to six months while
they recover and begin therapy. Therapy
is an essential part of developing correct
walking patterns. The project provides
Constanta in July. The building will provide
space for parent training classes and act as
a community meeting space for parents and
children, a major means of keeping families
together and warding off child abandonment. Supported by a $50,000 donation
from an anonymous Holt adoptive family,
the new center still needs donations totaling $60,000 to meet costs. To donate or to
find out more about this project, contact
Holt Development Director Rose McBride
at [email protected].
Ethiopia
Holt is now actively seeking families to
begin the adoption process for Ethiopia.
Families are needed for both boys and girls
of varying ages. Holt has submitted our
official registration application as an adoption agency to the Ethiopian government
and we anticipate the registration process
will be completed by this fall. Holt’s
program will be based in Addis Ababa,
a caregiver who can continue therapy
throughout the day during the child’s
stay in Guangzhou and training for
caregivers to continue therapy at the
orphanages. The project will cost approximately $3,000 per child.
“This project will do so much for these
children. They will be able to walk and
maybe one day, be adopted,” said Jian
Chen, Holt’s Program Director for China.
Ethiopia’s capital city, with humanitarian
aid projects focused on serving the southern region of Ethiopia.
Physician Rebecca Brandt, a long-time
member of the Holt Board of Directors, will
travel to Ethiopia in December to provide
childcare training for the staff.
South Africa
Holt needs sponsors for abandoned children and children at risk of losing their
families. Holt began a relationship in 2005
with the South African faith-based nonprofit Cares for Life, which has a mission
and working models compatible with Holt’s
mission. Holt is expanding its relationship
with Cares for Life to address the needs of
orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children in a wider area of South Africa.
Haiti
Holt needs sponsors for 51 new children
recently added to the Child Sponsorship
Program in Haiti.
Holt’s Portland (Oregon) Benefit Auction
Oct. 20 will raise funds for four new houses
to be built at the Holt Fontana Village.
More living space will allow Holt to care
for more children in this poorest country
in the Western hemisphere. Building costs
are estimated at a total of $100,000.
China
With current waits for the standard process
now stretching toward two years from the
time dossiers are sent, Holt’s China Program
wants to get the word out to families about
the parallel processing option with our
Waiting Child Program (see related story p.
21). Call or e-mail Katie Poff for details at
(541) 687-2202 or katiep@holtinternational.
org.
www.holtinternational.org 13
from the family
Guided and Empowered
by Prayer
The long wait was “good for our souls’” says a
mother who overcame many obstacles to adopt a
girl from Haiti
by Amanda
Maisonneuve
Spring, Texas
Amanda and Joe
Maisonneuve get ready to
board the plane to bring
Lainie home, August 2006.
Below: Lainie in a recent
photograph.
W
We started our adoption process in the Korea program
and spent about six months pulling together all the
paperwork. In February 2005 we were finally on a
waiting list for a healthy baby girl from Korea. After
almost two months of waiting, we were told it could
easily take a year for a referral. About that time, I
was browsing the waiting child photolisting on Holt’s
website and came across a baby picture of a tiny girl.
She had the most beautiful doll-like face and black,
curly hair. I read her short bio and from then on, I
could not stop thinking about her.
I knew nothing about Haiti, her birth country—so
I did some Internet research. I realized how poor the
country is, and how desperate for help. I also found
out Haiti is only about five hours away by airplane.
Somehow, I felt reassured knowing this little girl
wasn’t quite as far away as a child in Korea.
We weren’t the only family who found
Lainie’s picture on the photolisting. Because
more than one family wanted to adopt her,
Holt’s Waiting Child Committee had to make
the difficult decision about where to place
this child.
We continued with paperwork that had
to be completed for the Haiti program, we
answered numerous questions that would be
used in the decision-making process, and we
prayed. I prayed so much during the time
when we knew we were being considered
until the actual meeting took place.
I wanted Lainie to be in our family, but I
also wanted her to be in the right family for
her. Finally, the call came in from the committee that they had decided to place Lainie
with our family! After that, my 5-year-old
son, Max, kept saying, “We are so lucky!”
Waiting After Referral
Now we knew Lainie would eventually be
in our family. We anticipated waiting 9 to
11 more months, and with my optimism, I
figured on about six months. The wait of 17
months was extremely long and unexpected.
I knew God had a perfect plan for us and
this child, but I just did not know why we
had to wait so long.
14 Fall 2007
We saw Lainie grow up in photographs. We
received updates about her growth, general health
and new habits. We saw two very short videos, but
what a treasure it was to see that our little girl moved
and laughed and clapped her hands!
One reason we waited so long, I believe, was
because I had never really had to wait for anything
of such importance. We wanted to get pregnant with
our first child, and bam, 10 months later there he
was. The same thing with our second child. Other
milestones, too, were achieved on time without a long
wait. So with Lainie, we learned that waiting was
good for our soul, but hard for our brain to tolerate.
I prayed fervently for her day after day after day. I
prayed for her caregivers (specifically that she would
have one special person she loved and trusted completely, to help make her transition to us smoother).
I prayed for us to be positive examples of hope and
faith to those around us, especially those who doubted that we would ever bring Lainie home.
So after nearly a year and a half (and after lots of
hard work and dedication by our special advocate in
Haiti—Mansour Masse, a true saint), we were finally
able to make travel plans to bring Lainie home. We
finally left to get our daughter in August 2006.
Going to Haiti
Originally, we had hoped to spend a few days in Haiti
at the Holt Fontana Village and get acquainted with
Lainie and her caregivers in “her turf.” Due to unsafe
travel conditions at our time of travel, Holt requested
we not leave the airport. After our arrival, we waited
in the airport to pick up luggage, literally steps away
from our daughter, but we couldn’t see her. We finally
walked outside into the bright, hot, humid day and
were greeted by Mansour Masse.
We were walking with Mansour, looking into a
crowd of strangers, and suddenly I saw Lainie being
thrust in my direction. She was dressed in a lacy
peach dress, her hair fixed in beautiful braids, fancy
white lace socks, and white patent leather shoes. She
came right to me, over all those people, with a smile
on her face! I couldn’t believe it. I started crying
a little, and poor Mansour thought something was
wrong. I kept saying, “She is perfect. She is just so
perfect.”
When we walked into the terminal, I finally lost
it and burst into tears. I was so sad for what Lainie
was leaving behind. I knew she couldn’t understand
English and wouldn’t for some time, and I was so
afraid she would miss Nurse Lissa.
She was little and light and wasn’t the big girl I was
expecting. I was so happy she was still like a baby,
but a little girl at the same time.
Well, Lainie was such a brave soul, she never cried,
and she never looked back. She just clung to me. She
even smiled for a picture with her daddy while waiting to board the plane. Okay, she did cry once, when
the security people tried to take her water bottle! But
she stopped just as soon as they gave the empty bottle
back to her.
At the airport we met Nurse Lissa, the special caregiver we had prayed for. Lissa took care of Lainie like
she was her own daughter, even when Lainie almost
died in the hospital from an infection due to chicken
pox. We will forever be grateful to God for putting
Lissa in Lainie’s life just when she needed her.
We sat with Mansour in the airport for about five
hours. Lainie slept in my arms some of the time;
she and Mansour sang a song for us; she played with
some of the toys I brought; she took them over and
showed them to Mansour. We finally had to say goodbye to him, and to Haiti.
Adopting from Haiti
In Haiti, the poorest country in the
Western Hemisphere, 10,000 children
are thought to be living on the streets,
mostly in Port-au-Prince. An estimated
200,000 children live in orphanages
across the country. In addition, an
estimated 250,000 children face abuse
as domestic child workers for other
Haitian families. Many of these children
desperately need assistance. They need
safe homes and they need the love that
only permanent families can provide.
• Holt offers adoption services and
program development within a childcare facility developed in partnership
with the Foundation Fontana d’Haiti.
Holt Fontana Village began accepting
Above left: Lainie with her
brothers shortly after coming to the United States.
Center: Amanda and Lainie
in Haiti with Mansour
Masse, Director of Holt
Fontana Village.
Right Lainie says goodbye
to Nurse Lissa, the special
caregiver Amanda prayed
for while Lainie was still
in Haiti.
Our Perfect Family
I wouldn’t want to change this last year with Lainie
in our family for anything. Soon after Lainie came
home, one of our boys said to us, “Every family
deserves to have a baby sister in it!” That sums it up
well. Some people still tell us that Lainie is so lucky
to have a family like us, but we know the truth. We
are the lucky ones! ■
children into care in late 2004. Holt’s
U.S. and Haiti staffs provide individual
assistance to parents through every step
of the adoption process.
to pick up their child.
• Children available for adoption range
in age from 24 months to 7 years at
time of placement. Couples may apply
who are 30 to 50 years old, with at
least one applicant more than 35 years
old. Single women 35 to 50 years old
are also accepted. Contact Holt’s Haiti
program before applying.
• Waiting children from Haiti are often
physically healthy, older, or part of a
sibling group.
• Application through placement averages 24 months.
www.holtinternational.org/waiting child
• Families should be open to delays and
unknowns.
Children in Haiti are available for sponsorship through the Holt Child Sponsorship program.
• Holt takes every precaution to insure
the safety of families when they travel
www.holtinternational.org/adoption
Waiting Child Program
• Good child and birth family information is often available.
• Children are very well cared for in
Holt-sponsored care.
Sponsorship
www.holtinternational.org/sponsorship
www.holtinternational.org 15
from the family
A Christmas to
Remember
This story, by
a 15-year-old
Holt adoptee,
was a contest winner
last winter at
Radio Staion
KSOO in
Sioux Falls
by Aimee Hoelscher
Sioux Falls, S.D.
Above right: Aimee with
her little brother, Alex,
on their way home from
the airport that long ago
Christmas.
Below: Aimee, 15, and
Alex, 9, in a recent
photograph.
W
When I was 6 years old, my parents asked me a
question that would affect my life drastically. It was a
question that took me half a second to answer, and to
this day, it was a decision that I have never regretted.
Not only did it change my life for the better, but it will
always be a memory to remember.
I was adopted from Seoul, South Korea. When I
was 6 months old, I was flown to Des Moines, Iowa,
and was welcomed by my parents. I lived a blessed
life filled with amazing friends and family. I had
a great home and all the love I could ever ask for.
Although I was happy, most of the time I was pretty
lonely.
Most of my friends had siblings, and
because I was an only child, things were different for me at home. I would constantly ask
my parents for a brother or sister with every
opportunity I had. One day, my parents sat
me down and asked me to make a decision.
We could take a vacation to California and go
to Disneyland, or we could adopt a sibling.
Instantly, I chose the sibling. It was the best
decision of my life!
After months of waiting, we finally
received news from the adoption agency
about our soon-to-be family member. My
dad announced it was a 6-month-old boy. At
that moment I felt my heart leap with excitement, and I thought, I am going to be a sister!
I am finally going to be a sister! We were all
filled with excitement and anticipation.
We were all busy as we spent the next
few months preparing for the arrival of
my new brother. We had decided on Alex for his
name. He was due to fly into Des Moines, Iowa,
near Thanksgiving. An unexpected case of bron16 Fall 2007
chitis delayed his arrival, but about a week before
Christmas, my parents received a call that Alex was
due to arrive on Christmas Eve!
That Christmas Eve morning is pretty much a blur.
Our family piled into our car, and we drove down
to Des Moines. All of us were experiencing a roller
coaster of emotions! We arrived at the airport and
waited and waited. The clock seemed to be moving
so slowly; time seemed endless. Finally, around 9 that
night, Alex’s plane landed. I was so excited. I was
finally getting to meet Alex!
The escorts came in following a horde of people,
and the lady carefully placed him in my mom’s
arms. Filled with overwhelming joy and happiness,
I knew in my heart this was far better than going to
California! Later that night, we started our journey
back home. It was an unforgettable night.
I woke up in the morning and it was Christmas!
Hurrying upstairs, I saw my grandparents, my parents and Alex by the Christmas tree. We spent the
morning opening presents and spending family time
together. I was given many great gifts, but my favorite
gift of all wasn’t contained in the wrapped boxes. My
favorite present was the little boy, smiling from ear to
ear, being held in my dad’s arms.
Time has passed by like a speeding car. Currently,
Alex is 9 years old and one of the best people I know!
He is full of energy and life, and he is becoming a
wonderful person. Looking back, I know I made the
right choice, and I will never regret it. Ever since Alex
came into my life, the emptiness feeling has disappeared. Adopting Alex will forevermore be one of
the greatest things that ever happened in my life. His
homecoming on Christmas Eve makes this memory
even more special. It will always be a Christmas to
remember! ■
Sharing Grandma with the World
Many children knew her as Grandma, but for a Holt
summer intern, Bertha Holt truly was Grandma
As an actual grandchild of Bertha
Holt, I’ve always had quite the diverse family. Growing up, I never
really took notice of this even
though I sometimes found it difficult to remember the names of
all my aunts, uncles and cousins.
I spent most of my childhood
holidays at Grandma’s house, and
many summers were not complete without a Holt International
picnic. As a child, I was always
so fascinated with getting to
run around outside all day at the
picnics that I never really stopped
to think about what it was that
brought so many people together.
Once when I was about 7 years
old, my family and I were just
about to leave the Holt picnic
in Eugene. As we walked past
another family that was talking to Grandma, I heard a little
boy say “Bye-bye Grandma.” In
confusion, I looked over to my
mother and asked, “Why is that
boy calling her Grandma? That’s
my Grandma!” My mother was
laughing so hard she almost
stumbled, but she quickly gathered herself and attempted to
explain to me in the best way
that she could.
As I became older I finally began
to comprehend what it was my
mother tried to explain
to me back at that picnic.
When I learned about
everything that Grandma
had done to adopt my
mother, aunts and uncles
I slowly began to realize
the true character behind
this amazing woman. I
learned that her efforts and determination
would forever leave their
mark in history, as she
and Harry Holt changed
international adoption
forever. The world has
come to share Grandma even
through my lifetime, which in
return has allowed me to share
Grandma with the world.
Now while preparing for my
senior year of college, I’m fascinated by how many people I
meet who are Holt adoptees and
how easily I’m able to connect
with them on such a personal
level. Though conversations
about adoption always come
up in different ways, the connection through Holt makes the
responses so meaningful they’re
hard to forget. No more than a
few months ago, I learned a good
friend of mine is a Holt adoptee.
The bond we share through Holt
is one that I wouldn’t change for
A year of smiles ...
-2008-
the world.
Working as an intern for Holt this
summer has been an opportunity
like no other. The joy I receive
witnessing how far Holt has come
over the last 50 years is unlike
anything I ever expected. I find
it surreal watching Holt’s mission
come to life right in front of me.
Knowing that our efforts will
provide children with the same
opportunities that were given
to my mother, I’m sometimes
overwhelmed.
Above: University of
Oregon journalism student
Joey Russell with mom,
Christine Holt Russell, at
the Holt International 50th
Anniversary Celebration in
2006. Christine was one
of eight children adopted
from Korea by Harry and
Bertha Holt in 1955.
Above left: The young
Joey at a Holt Picnic with
his grandma, Bertha Holt.
I can’t imagine where I would
be if Harry and Bertha hadn’t
decided to bring back my mother
and those seven other Korean
children 52 years ago.
—by Joey Russell, Holt intern
The 2008 Holt International calendar features
adopted children from around the world. Every
calendar you purchase will benefit children who
still need families of their own.
The large wall calendar (12 x 18 when hung) will
brighten your home or office and heart… every
day of the year.
$10 (pr ic e i nc l ude s shi ppi ng)
O rder your s f rom
www.holtinternational.org 17
w w w. h o l t i n t e r n a t i o n a l . o r g /c a l e n d a r
family tree
Leilou Guerrero, 9 months (China)—Omaha, Neb.
Melanie, 14, and Molly Martin, 11 (both from
Thailand)—Raleigh, N.C.
Madeleine and Quinn Hinde-Schuster,
both 2 (China)—Highland Park, Ill.
Madeleine and Quinn Hinde-Schuster,
both 2 (China)—Highland Park, Ill.
Mya Stanberry, 2 (China)—West Des Moines, Iowa
Siblings Alisa, 9; Aparna, 11; Madhura, 3; and Kamran
Dettling, 7 (all from India)—Bridgton, Maine
18 Fall 2007
Zorigt, 1 (Mongolia) with mom Jessica and grandparents Elaine and Leon Smith—Washington, D.C.
Kara, 6; Kaitlyn, 9; and Kristin Renfer, 11 (all from
China)—Ferndale, Calif.
Macy Sprecher, 4
(Mongolia)—Blue Springs,
Mo.
Ellie Wieties, 2½ (China)
Racine, Wis.
Mei, 2½, and Maggie Stewart, 4 (both from China)—Baton Rouge, La.
Send your photos to
Family Tree!
Mail original color prints to:
Holt International magazine
P.O. Box 2880 Eugene, OR 97402
or upload digital photos at
holtinternational.org/submissions
Corey Watson Reid, 27 (Korea),
and husband, Tony Reid—
Jacksonville, Fla.
Bhavani Passmore, 8 (India)—
Kalispell, Mont.
Mary Sinsheimer, 7 (China)—Sayre, Penn.
Crystal Crosson Branstetter, 25
(Korea) and husband, Steven
Branstetter—Clever, Mo.
Elisa and Shawn Schleig with children Alex, 11
(Romania); Dvena, 6 (Haiti); Brandon, 4 (USA);
Christine, 3 (Korea)—North Canton, Ohio
Mikayla Fleming, 6
(Thailand)—Keizer, Ore.
Erin Troutman, 29 (Korea)
and husband, Troy Ritchie—
Louisville, Ky.
Jack, 13; Julie, 5 (Philippines); and Sam
Williamson, 10—Little Rock, Ark.
www.holtinternational.org 19
from the family
A Year with Zoie
Her “China Mama” gave this little
girl with cleft lip and palate a
chance for the medical help she
needed—and now her adoptive
family cannot remember life
without her
S
September 1, 2006
Adapted from a blog
by Leslie Albers
Collierville, Tenn.
We arrived in Los Angeles last night, and Zoie became
an American citizen! Multiple signs in our yard welcomed us home. It was so exciting to walk into Zoie’s
room with her. She loves her room!
October 2006
Right: Zoie on her first trip
to the beach.
Below: The whole family—
Eric, Leslie, Stephen, Zoie
and Greg.
Opposite page: Zoie with
her two big brothers—Greg
and Eric.
Brother Eric is her best buddy and is so patient with
her. He is great with teaching her baby signs. She
knows over 40 signs now.
The palate repair and lip revision took place
October 10. We spent two nights in the hospital.
Zoie turned 2 the day after we got home. The day
did not pass without some contemplation on my part
of how fortunate we are to have Zoie in our life, and
how blessed she is to have a “China Mama” who
loved her enough to give her life. I think about what
it must have been like for her birth mother, and about
the decision she made to risk going to jail or worse
in order to give her daughter a chance at the medical
care that she needed. We could not be filled with
more gratitude to God for this gift or to Zoie’s “China
Mama” for her sacrifice.
Thanksgiving 2006
Gratitude... thankful appreciation. How can I count
our many blessings? On November 27, we will
celebrate 100 days with Zoie. She continues to be
a source of joy and
awe for the entire
family. She continues to adjust to all
the changes in her
life and takes everything in stride. How
wonderful to see the
world through the
eyes of a 2-year-old
and remember what
a fascinating place it
is. The boys love
her and are so proud
to be her brothers.
Everything she does
they say, “Did you
see that?” She is
20 Fall 2007
completely and totally grafted into this family, and we
would all move mountains for her. I am so glad that
I was able to take three months off work to spend
with her.
Zoie’s daycare is fabulous, and she loves it. She
qualified medically for six months of speech therapy,
and they will be going to her daycare two times per
month. We will continue to work with her at home.
She is completely healed from surgery and her palate
looks great. Her lip also has less bulk and less of a
“bump.” We are pleased with the results and glad to
have that behind us.
We are grateful for our kids, our strong family
bond, our health, and this amazing new family member who reminds all of us every day how special we
all are and how important having a family is.
Christmas 2006
Last Christmas visions of our future daughter danced
in our heads, but we did not know who she was or
what she looked like. Our hearts ached to love her,
but we had no idea how our hearts would overflow
with love for her.
Last December 4, Zoie had her lip repair done in
China. She was in the hospital from December 2 to
23. This makes me so sad. I have no idea if anyone
was able to be with her and hold her. I just can’t
imagine her being alone, and I pray she wasn’t.
This December 4, she was visiting the huge craniofacial team here in Memphis. They all thought she
was doing great and her lip and palate repairs were
exceptional. We are continuing her speech therapy
Adopting from China
families through our Waiting Child Program have
minor or correctible special
needs, just like Zoie.
Current strategies
All families in the standard process for a China adoption are
currently experiencing long wait
times—nearly two years at present. The lengthening wait is due to
the enormous popularity of China
adoptions and the huge number
of family dossiers received by the
CCAA over the past two years. We
encourage any family open to a
child from China with a medical
condition or history to contact our
Waiting Child Program regarding the
China parallel processing option. While
families are in process with an application to Holt or waiting with a dossier
in China, they may consider children
two times per month. Although she is still
8–10 months behind, she is becoming more
verbal and really trying to work out her
sounds. The sign language comes in handy
when we can’t understand her words. She
will use the word and the sign. On words
we understand, she has dropped the sign,
which is great progress. She has learned
to say the word “no” very well and loves to
say it loud and often. She is still so good
and well behaved. She wraps everyone
around her little finger.
Mother’s Day 2007
Last April, we saw Zoie’s picture for the
first time. We received our official Referral
Packet.
Last May marked the two-year point of
starting our journey to Zoie. Last May, we
found out that Zoie’s lip had been repaired
and got a new picture of her!
Adoption is truly a miracle, and every
time I look at my daughter, I feel that more
strongly. We are so blessed to be entrusted
with the care of this precious gift from God.
We are blessed to be able to be the ones to
hear her laugh, see her eyes sparkle, and be
the ones to kiss her boo-boos.
We are blessed to be able to walk into
her room at night, long after she has gone
to sleep, and gaze upon the sweetest and
prettiest little girl I have ever seen. She
looks like an absolute angel when she
sleeps. I don’t want to go to sleep myself
without feeling her sweet, soft cheek as I
released to Holt for home-finding: and,
until a family is selected for a particular
child through the Waiting Child Process,
nothing changes with their dossier in
China. Many children matched with
kiss her one more time. I don’t want to go
to sleep without telling her to have sweet
dreams one more time, and I don’t want
to go to sleep without thanking God one
more time for the most abundant blessing
that he has ever bestowed on our family
“One more time.” That is what Zoie says
when she wants good things to continue.
She wants to “wing” “one more time.” She
wants Greg to throw her up in the air “one
more time.” She wants to slide “one more
time.” She wants me to read her book “one
more time.”
So most of the time we do what she
wants “one more time.” Why wouldn’t we?
Her joy is our joy. Her laughter fills us with
happiness. Her smile melts our hearts. Life
is too short to miss the “one more times.”
She will only be young once, and we do
not want to waste a second of it.
Due to lengthening processing times we encourage
those families who have
already adopted from China
through Holt and considering another adoption to
apply right away and get
started. Consider another
factor: since May 1, 2007
the CCAA registered far
fewer dossiers, so we anticipate this current long wait will not last
forever!
—Beth Smith, MS, Director of Services,
China Program
Although we have always had a strong
family bond, we are united more than we
ever have been.
Recently I was cooking dinner, and Eric
was entertaining Zoie on her new play set.
Usually, after a few minutes he is telling
me that she wants me. After many minutes
had passed and dinner was ready, I walked
out the back door to find both boys fully
engaged with each other to dote on and
entertain their sister. She was beaming at
them and laughing hysterically. My heart
filled to overflowing as I thought, “Wow,
those are my kids. My three wonderful
gifts from God. How did I get so lucky?”
August 2007
“One more time” also makes me thankful that although we thought we were
through having children long ago, God
said… One more time, and we said, Okay,
one more time.
I never really liked mornings, but Zoie has
sure changed that. Finding Cheerios in my
bed is not something that I ever thought
I would be doing at this stage in my life,
but this stage of my life is the perfect time
for Cheerios in my bed. It makes me stop
and think about what is really important, it
makes me slow down a little, and it makes
me laugh.
We can’t imagine life without this one
more child. We love her more every day.
Her brothers love her with a fierce passion I have never seen in them. They are
proud of things she does, and they brag
like a “proud mama” about new things she
learns. At a time when the boys had gotten old enough to always be in a different
room or off doing their own thing, this little
princess has brought our family together.
One year? It has flown by. I am grateful and overjoyed that we did not miss out
on the miracle of adoption, and the miracle
that is Zoie Li Xinyang. We are better
because of Zoie. We want to be better for
Zoie. We have all grown in ways we never
knew we could. We have come out on
the other side of this as more complex and
richer individuals because we have experienced a special blessing. ■
www.holtinternational.org 21
from the family
How I Became Mr. Honey Bunny
An uncle’s special relationship with nieces from China
by Glenn Setliff
Mebane, N.C.
L
Last night I stood in the parking lot of a local pizza
joint wearing one of those plastic Groucho Marx
glasses, nose and mustache masks while being pelted
with Silly String by two beautiful Chinese girls laughing at me and calling me “Mr. Honey Bunny.” On a
coolness scale, this probably put me just
below the slob from the Mystery Date
Game.
No, I wasn’t a contestant on a cheesy
reality show. And no, it wasn’t a college
frat house hazing stunt. It was just two
little girls stealing their uncle’s heart
once again.
Mr. Honey Bunny aka Uncle
Glenn, with nieces Mollie
(Sugar Bear) and Mary
Katherine (Sweetie Pie)
Mitchell.
It all started when my twin sister,
Mary, and her husband, Don, invited
my wife and me to a Holt International
adoption introductory session. Having
seen the 20/20 specials on the issues
that some families had faced by adopting children from other countries, I
was skeptical. I also didn’t want my
sister to get her hopes too high. She
had spent years and many thousands
of dollars on unsuccessful fertility
treatments. My mind was changed
during the information session and
afterwards, as we stood in the parking lot, we all agreed that it just felt
right. A little over a year later, I joined
a group of over 50 people of all ages at the airport to
welcome Mary Katherine into our family.
I guess I’m a typical male—I don’t usually connect with kids right away. With Mary Katherine, it
happened at my oldest sister’s farm following one
of our family’s holiday touch football games. I was
sitting on the sofa and Mary Katherine just plopped
down beside me. After a dramatic sigh, she suddenly
crawled into my lap, squeezed my cheeks together
really hard and started giggling. I started laughing,
hugged her and said the first thing that came to my
mind, “You’re my little Sweetie Pie!” From then on,
my sister Mary would always accuse us of having our
own secret language, because we could always make
each other laugh.
Several years later, Mary and Don received word
from Holt that within several months, they could
return to China to adopt a second child. The scare
of the respiratory disease SARS was running rampant
in Asia. In what must have been a gut-wrenching
discussion, they decided that Don and Mary Katherine
would stay home while Mary and I went to China.
From the moment we met her, it was clear that
24 Winter
2007
22 Fall 2007
Mollie was going to be in control. Those first few
days were tough—Mary and I took turns holding
Mollie and feeding her when she cried, but we could
tell she just didn’t want to trust us yet. Then on the
second night, I was reading an article about Arctic
polar bears in National Geographic when she woke
up and started crying. It was my turn, and when I
picked her up, I could tell there was a difference. She
clutched my sleeve with one tiny hand and the buttons on my shirt with the other one and buried her
head into my chest. She was hugging me back for
the first time. I stood up and walked to the window.
With the picture of a baby polar bear still fresh in
my mind, I simply said in a low, soft voice, “It’s okay,
Sugar Bear,” over and over again. For the next two
weeks, we were practically inseparable.
Fast forward four years.
This past Christmas, I had been visiting my oldest
son in Poland, so Mary and I decided to meet the
last night at the halfway point between our houses to
celebrate with the girls, who were excited about the
Christmas gifts they had bought me. On the drive up,
I got a phone call.
“Uncle Glenn.”
“Hey Sugar Bear!”
“Mary Katherine and I have a new name for you.
You want to hear it?”
“Of course! What –”
“It’s Mr. Honey Bunny. I’m Sugar Bear, Mary
Katherine is Sweetie Pie and you’re Mr. Honey
Bunny! We just thought that up!” I could hear Mary
Katherine laughing in the background, and we all
three giggled.
“And you know what? We got you Christmas presents and I’m not going to tell you what they are.” She
continued in a whisper. “Mom said we have to wait
until after we eat.”
“That sounds great! I can’t –”
“I love you. Bye.” Click.
After supper, I opened my gifts. Mary Katherine
gave me a Groucho Marx mask and Mollie gave me
some Silly String. And there I stood in the parking
lot of a local pizza joint wearing a Groucho Marx
mask getting sprayed with Silly String by two beautiful Chinese girls laughing at me and calling me “Mr.
Honey Bunny.”
Yeah, I probably looked like an idiot. But for an
uncle, or, better yet, a “Mr. Honey Bunny,” it just
doesn’t get any better than that. ■
To find out more about
adopting children with
special needs in Korea
and other countries, visit
the Waiting Child section
of our website at: www.
holtinternational.org/
waitingchild/photolisting
A Special Reunion
Above: Jin-kyoo (l) and Yong-woo at Ilsan, South
Korea, Summer 2006. • Above right: Yong-woo
(l), now named AntonYong, visited his friend Connor
(Jin-kyoo) at home in Missouri, Summer 2007.
Just a little over a year ago, both
AntonYong and Connor lived at the Holt
Ilsan Center, a residential treatment
facility for children with special needs
outside Seoul, South Korea. Connor
was the mascot for the Ilsan Choir, and
AntonYong was the little boy with yellow
“Harry Potter” glasses. Now both boys
have permanent families in the United
States. This summer, they reunited at
Connor’s home in Missouri.
Children at Ilsan receive excellent physical and occupational therapy, and some
are able to be adopted internationally.
A Pair of Shoes:
The language of love between mother and daughter
I adopted Alexandra in Romania in August 2000. She
turned 5 a few weeks later.
Alex learned English quickly but did not always know the
meaning of what she was saying, or what was being said
to her. She had some trouble with reading and math but
by age 10 was only two years behind instead of four.
Letter of Love from China
Written by Bonnie Cuzzolino
Illustrated by Jax Bennett
2006, Plum Blossom Books, NJ, www.
plumblossombooks.com; $19 + shpg. A
portion of proceeds will be donated to
Holt International, Foster Care Program.
Written from a birth mom’s perspective, Letter of Love from China paints a
loving and respectful picture of a child’s
relinquishment in China. Through vivid
and colorful illustrations, combined with
clear, simple language with appeal to all
ages, the book has a poignant yet uplifting message.
So often parents struggle with positive
ways to answer questions about why their
child was abandoned in China. This book
will help parents answer these questions
and communicate the heartfelt and loving
choice that a birth mom in China makes,
and the cultural context behind this decision. Cuzzolino depicts the relinquishment for what it is, a selfless act of love.
Reviewed by Beth Smith, MS
Director of Services, China Program
She is quick-witted, humorous and intuitive, which has
caught me off guard quite a few times. She still needs
some encouragement but has a whole lot more confidence in herself than she used to.
One day, before she spoke English very well, she took my
comb while I was preparing to go to church. I was all
ready except for slipping on my shoes and combing my
hair. I came out of my room and asked her several times,
where is my comb? She looked me up and down with
a serious expression, saw that my feet were bare, and
ran to get for me what turned out to be a pair of shoes.
They didn’t match, but I wore them anyway…and I did not
mind that my hair didn’t look too good. Tereza Alexandra
Joy-Christeena is the joy of my life.
Alexandra Nealy at age 10.
—by Judith Nealy/ Jackson, Michigan
A Christmas Story
Holt adoptive mom Christine Ernst-Shetler’s book, Little Black
Squirrel’s Big Wish, sold almost 700 copies in its first three
months following publication late last year. The book, about
a little squirrel who wishes for a family, includes a retelling of
the birth of Jesus. Christine will donate a percentage of
proceeds back to Holt for each book sold. She and her
husband adopted their daughter, Ankita, from India over
four years ago. You can purchase the book directly through
the NSR Book Company, 7761 Ft. Laurens Rd, Strasburg, OH
44680 (SASE for order form) or e-mail Christine at chris@
actionnowinc.com
A percentage of the price also goes to Holt for books purchased through Amazon.com via the Holt website: www.holtinternational.org/shopping/
www.holtinternational.org 23
waiting child
Ryan
Waiting Children
Waiting Children
Special needs, special blessings
Van
Luke
Special needs, special blessings
These children and many others you can view on Holt’s website
need adoptive families. They may have various challenges such as
medical conditions, or they may simply be older or in sibling groups,
but they have so much to offer the family who makes them their own
son or daughter.
Interested in a Waiting Child? Contact Holt’s Waiting Child
Program at 541-687-2202. View a photolisting of other waiting children or apply online: holtinternational.org/waitingchild
Van
Yun-seong
Harshil
Van loves to be held, smiles when talked to and
can roll over. Only 2.7 pounds after a premature birth, he has developmental delays and was
diagnosed with cerebral palsy. *$5,000 grant
available from Brittany’s Hope
Yun-seong actively moves his arms and legs and
when lying on his stomach can lift his head for
a short time. His initial physical exam showed
a heart murmur, a soft mass on his tongue, and
polydactyl of one finger on his right hand and
both big toes. He has been in care since birth.
A calm-natured child who speaks in a polite,
respectful manner, Harshil came into care at
5. Fluent in his native tongue, he can also
understand simple English. He is cooperative in
groups, likes to be neat and well dressed, and
takes good care of his belongings.
Truong
Tracie
Truong can sit well without support and hold
onto the crib to stand. He speaks simple words
and understands what is spoken to him. Born
prematurely, he is malnourished, suffers from
rickets, has delayed motor and cognitive development and may have cerebral palsy. *5,000
Brittany’s Hope grant available
Beautiful, energetic Tracie says several syllables,
is able to stand and loves playing with toys. A
premature birth with oxygen starvation caused
perinatal encephalopathy. She has psychological and physical developmental delays, cannot
walk and does not understand speech directed
toward her, but her motor skills are improving.
Greg
Nick
A strong boy who likes to crawl, walk and climb,
Greg shares his toys with younger children but
gets angry if older ones try to take toys away.
Diagnosed with spinal meningocele, a form of
spina bifida, he underwent surgery in February.
Nick has Down syndrome with associated
developmental delays but repeats words, uses
gestures to indicate his needs or wants, and
understands action verbs. He runs, jumps and
skips and engages in simple games.
Tim
Rajesh
A quiet, happy child, Tim loves it when his foster
mother takes him outside to play. He can stand
while holding onto something for support.
Genetically male, he has ambiguous genitalia.
Rajesh likes to assist elders and be independent
in almost all his work. Surgery is advised for a
minor hearing loss and ear discharge. *$5,000
grant available from Brittany’s Hope
Born in Vietnam, August 15, 2005
Ryan
Born in Haiti, April 7, 2003
Ryan enjoys playing outside with other children.
He does not speak clearly but can combine
two words into a sentence, understands action
verbs, and answers simple questions. Anemic
due to a vitamin deficiency, Ryan is being treated for dermatophyte, a kind of skin infection.
Luke
Born in China, May 24, 2004
A well-mannered, active boy, Luke loves to play
with his peers and enjoys helping his foster
mother. He has congenital deformity of his
upper extremities with passive use of his left
hand. He can use his right arm more fully.
Bharath
Born in India, October 15, 2005
Bharath listens selectively, responds to his name
and babbles and laughs. He can sit alone and
stand with support. Born prematurely with a
low birth weight, he has mild, noncommunicating hydrocephalus and mild ventriculomegaly.
*$5,000 grant available from Brittany’s Hope
24 Fall 2007
Born in Korea, February 26, 2007
Born in Vietnam, February 2, 2005
Born in China, August 1, 2005
Born in China, February 23, 2006
Born in India, May 27, 2000
Born in E. Europe/C. Asia, March 26, 2006
Born in E. Europe/C. Asia, Jan. 18, 2004
Born in India, August 4, 2002
Holt’s descriptions of waiting children are based on information available to Holt from caregivers and medical personnel in the child’s
country of origin. Holt cannot guarantee the accuracy of these descriptions or that the medical and psychological diagnoses published
here are correct and complete.
Nolan
Tracie
Greg
Country rules prohibit
use of actual photo.
Bharath
Tim
Nick
Country rules prohibit
use of actual photo.
Rajesh
Yun-seong
Miguel, 4; and Nazario, 3
Truong
Brothers Miguel and Nazario need to be placed together. Their
primary language is Spanish. Full of energy and curiosity, Miguel
loves family outings, especially to the park. His smile and laughter are contagious. He is a healthy child but has overall developmental delays. Nazario loves discovering the wonders of life. He
likes to pass a ball back and forth with Miguel or with his foster
parents. One of his eyes is a prosthetic, and he has been diagnosed with hypotonia (decreased muscle tone).
Oregon Waiting Child
Harshil
Agencies reduce fees for the adoption of a child in state
care, and financial assistance may be available. To learn
more, call the Special Needs Adoption Coalition at The
Boys and Girls Aid Society at (877) 932-2734 x 2392, or
DHS at (800) 331-0503. Also visit www.boysandgirlsaid.
org and www.nwae.org for information and photos of
waiting children.
*Brittany’s Hope grants are available for nine months from their granting date, which
varies by child. Find out more at www.brittanyshope.org
www.holtinternational.org 25
from the family
In the Waiting
Zone
The wait for adoption is not so
very different from a pregnancy...
the long gestation period allows
time for a mother to grow
by Kristen Berry
Cumming, Georgia
The author holds baby Ella,
adopted from China by her
friend, Laura.
E
Everyone told us the waiting period would be the
hardest part in our process
to adopt a baby girl from
China. I don’t think so,
I’d say to myself as we
plodded our way through
a daunting stack of paperwork. To say that I don’t
like paperwork is an understatement, and so I was
looking forward to the waiting period. That was
almost two years ago.
So much time has gone by to think about and
anticipate the moment we will get this baby girl; I
now understand why the waiting is the hardest part.
Our lives are full as it is with a 13-year-old son, but
wherever I go and whatever I do, the baby girl from
China is with me in my mind. There are many things
to do in preparing the house for our newest family
member, but somehow it just doesn’t fill the space in
my mind. I have run the gamut of insecurities over
When we do get our baby girl, the waiting will be over—
and a new chapter will begin.
every aspect of becoming a mother of two. Will I do
as good a job the second time around? Will I worry
too much because she is just a little girl? Will I still
have time to write? To all these questions, I answer
probably yes.
In the meantime, the waiting period has become
akin to standing on a dock watching a sailboat drift
further and further from my reach as a gusty wind
blows through its sails. Can I catch the sailboat?
Should I even try? What if I fail?
These questions remind me of the same worries
I have over our adoption process. I used to think I
didn’t need any moral support from families who have
adopted from China because our lives are already so
busy that it’s hard to fit in one more social event, let
alone establish a common bond with other adoptive families. As months have turned into years, I
am relieved to have a friend that seems to know me
26 Fall 2007
better than I know myself. She and her husband
recently returned from China with their own baby girl.
Like us, they also have a 13-year-old son. From the
moment they received their referral for the baby, they
set up a baby blog online for everyone to follow while
they were in China. I found myself checking that
blog every day while they were gone. They posted a
variety of pictures of their beautiful baby named “Ella”
and her acclimation to her new family.
Seeing the pictures and reading about their adoption story was like a pacifier to me. China began
to seem like a very real place where I, too, would
become the mother of a baby girl. When they
returned, I attended their baby’s birthday party. This
baby was so happy and easy going. Watching the
celebration, I again began to feel pangs of doubt
that such an amazing event could happen for us.
My friend Laura told me with casual but unwavering
certainty that we’d have our baby before we knew
it. That was four months ago.
Recently, I was on my way into the grocery store
thinking about baby food, diapers, and grocery carts
with broken safety straps and hidden germs on the
handle, so close to where babies sit. Was I ready for
all of this? I remembered how intense I was as a first
time mother, and I didn’t think I could go through all
that again, yet I felt that I must, in order to be a great
mom for baby number two.
I was ready to cry just thinking about it, but I called
my friend Laura instead. I could hear baby Ella in the
background making her usual happy sounds. Calm as
always, Laura told me that I am not going to duplicate
my first time mothering experience because I am a
different person than I was 13 years ago.
“You are so much wiser now,” she said.
That tripped a wire for me and for the first time,
I stopped worrying about everything. I suddenly
realized that I am more mature, wise and probably
even stronger than I was at 26 years old. I cried
tears of relief right there in the grocery store, and
Laura stayed on the phone with me until I was able
to actually focus on buying food. I still don’t think
my friend knows what her words meant to me that
day. That was two months ago.
We are still in the waiting zone with about 10
months to go before we get our referral. There is
only one thing that I would do differently concerning
our adoption process. I would not have told anyone
but close friends and family that we are adopting.
People tend to think that we have changed our
minds because almost two years have gone by since
we made our big announcement. I often tell these
people to think of the adoption process from China
as the “gestational period” of an elephant. That usually brings a good laugh and some great conversation
concerning our preparation for the baby.
Things to Do While You Prepare
Find creative ways to bear the waiting period—and make it count!
• Connect with other local adoptive/waiting families.
• Spend quality time with your spouse and children before the new child
arrives.
• Log babysitting hours and childcare experience to refresh your
memory.
• Read books from Holt‘s suggested reading list.
• Visit the library for books on culture, food, history and literature of
your child‘s country, and for books on childcare and adoption.
• Challenge yourself to learn the alphabet and some words, phrases,
songs, nursery rhymes and recipes from your child’s country.
• Paint, decorate and otherwise prepare your child‘s room.
• Begin your child’s lifebook.
• Interview and select a pediatrician.
• Attend several adult adoptee panels and lectures.
My friend Laura recently sent us some copies of
baby Ella’s first portraits. I keep them handy so that
I can look at them and smile instead of feeling discouraged over the long wait. We are updating our
homestudy and that means more paperwork, only it’s
a little different this time. Now that I can compare
the paperwork to the waiting game I can honestly say
that the paperwork is so much easier than the space
between the decision to adopt and the moment we
will have our baby.
• Write out a daily prayer for your child and record answers to your
prayers.
It has been important, even necessary for me
to have the connection with my friend Laura. She
has taught me so much about myself that I never
knew. When we do get our baby girl, the waiting
will be over—and a new chapter will begin. One
thing is sure—there will probably be a thousand
things I should have done around the house while
we were waiting, but none of them could compare
to the thought of being a mother to a baby girl from
• Sponsor a child in Holt‘s Sponsorship Program. While Holt will not solicit donations from you while you‘re in the adoption process, you may
support a child in care through sponsorship. It’s a wonderful way to
connect with a child who is also waiting. Helping to provide care for a
child will help you feel in touch with the caring that your child needs.
• Create a blogsite.
• Make a quilt for your child.
• Take your yearly vacation.
• Prepare and frame a family tree that includes your new child.
• Start an exercise program to build stamina for international travel and
the new physical demand of carrying a child.
—compiled from staff articles and also from lists sent by Holt families
Robin and Randy Bridgeman and Ivy Shaffer
Preparing for Your Child
Why not change your point of view about waiting?
I’m not going to “wait” anymore. I think I would like to do away
with the word “wait” in all of its forms—wait, waiting, waited,
weight. By definition, “wait: to remain inactive or in a state of
repose, as until something expected happens.” We’ve all heard
ourselves saying it: “I just can’t take this wait anymore.” That
sound you hear is us being sucked into this big, dark abyss called
“the wait.” The word implies inaction. It carries its own endlessness. It stretches out before us, infinitely. I don’t think it’s a
very good word.
Let’s try this on instead.
By definition, “prepare: to make ready beforehand for a specific
purpose, as for an event or occasion.” Ultimately, we each get
to choose how we deal with the time between now and when
we are united with our children. The days will pass, there will
be speculation all over the place, but, eventually, by what feels
like tiny, little ant steps, we will get there. Spending that time
preparing for your child, preparing for the huge change it will
bring about in your life, your home, your family, your every day
existence, will only help make that transition easier. It doesn’t
mean you don’t long for your child or that you’re not frustrated
by it taking so long. It doesn’t mean you love your child any less.
It just means you are making the choice to climb out of that
abyss and back into the light.
—by Lori Halop
Reprinted with the author‘s permission from an online adoption
forum. Be sure to visit the Holt online adoption forum at
holtinternational.org/forums
www.holtinternational.org 27
adoptees today
Coming Full Circle
Adopting a son from Korea brought a sense of completion to this adult
adoptee, who remembers nothing of early life in her motherland
by Melanie Edwards
Sacramento, Calif.
Above left: Melanie at
the airport with her mom,
Diane Stillson, when she
first came home at age 2½.
Above right: Melanie and
Jim with their son, Jacob,
2007.
Opposite page, top:
Melanie with Jacob the
first time they met.
A
August 29, 2005: This was my third trip back to
Korea, but the anxiousness I felt boarding the plane
felt brand new. I had several moments of déjà vu
while waiting to board, hearing Hangeul over the loud
speaker of flights departing and arriving and listening
to those around me. It still felt very foreign to me,
but no one would know that looking at my black hair,
olive skin and almond-shaped eyes.
Holt Family Tour
This was actually my fourth time being in Korea. I
was born there in 1973. In 1975, I boarded a plane to
leave and start my life, never expecting to return.
From the first moment I got off the plane and felt
the thick humid air, it was hard for me to believe that
at one time I was part of this “land of the morning
calm.” I didn’t understand the language, the food was
different, and everyone and everything around me
was Korean—something I wasn’t used to. Nothing
was familiar.
I don’t know the circumstances that placed me in
an orphanage at about a year old and then to a caring foster home, and I probably never will. I have
thought about and grieved over this loss many times.
My first memory was the first night in my new
home in America. I remember nothing of those early
years in Korea.
Growing up, I thought of returning to Korea only in
a fantasy way, like the way one would dream of going
to some exotic place, but knowing they really would
not ever go. I was more concerned about hanging
out with my friends, trying not to feel too different
from them. For long periods of time I “forgot” about
those first losses, but in the back of my mind they
were always there.
28 Fall 2007
My first trip back to Korea I took with my Mom
when I was in my early twenties—on the Holt Family
Tour. However, I don’t remember much of the trip.
Emotionally, it was too much for me to handle. I
wanted to share that trip with no one except my
mom, and no one will understand the experience as
well as she.
I was used to being the only Korean in the room,
and often times the only Asian in the room. I wanted
to shrink so no one would notice me, which was the
same way I felt many times back home. But despite
the feeling of awkwardness, there was something
comforting about being able to blend in. I really
noticed this when my blonde mom and I visited a rest
stop and an elderly Korean gentleman pointed at my
mother and sternly said, “Foreigner!” We both had a
good laugh about it later on.
Along with realizing I was blending in physically
with those around me, I couldn’t help but look at
country he came from. I felt a sense
of pride realizing not only was he
part of this wonderful country, his
mother was, too.
everyone, especially older women
and wonder, “Could I possibly
share blood with that person? Is
she a birth aunt, birth cousin or
even my birth ommah?” A bizarre
feeling swept through me—somewhere on these streets I could be
passing by the person that gave
birth to me.
But again I felt that same sadness
which at times consumes my heart,
thinking about my son’s birthmother
and how hard her decision must have
been and how brave she was to make
a plan of adoption for her child. It
also made me think of my own birthmother again and what it must have
been like for her to endure the pain
of labor and care for her child for a
year and then have to let her go.
This first trip was also the first
time I really felt the loss that
people talk about when being
adopted, knowing somewhere in
the recesses of my mind were
experiences I would never remember. There was a birth mother.
There was a time she walked these
same streets with me cradled in her
arms. There was a time she had to
make a decision to let her daughter
go, so her daughter could live. The
mere thought of it still overwhelms
me at times.
One morning during the trip I
woke up sobbing, grieving from a
draining previous day of exploring my past. We had visited the
orphanage where I was placed and saw the
logbook, which contained my name (given
to me by the orphanage), where I was
found, alone, and about how old I was.
Sitting in the small room looking at this
piece of my past was an experience that
I can only describe as a moment “where
time stood still.” That next morning as I
grieved my past, my mom came over to my
bed and just held me and wiped away my
tears. This is what this trip was about for
me—really understanding what it means to
have a forever family.
I wanted to yell through the streets
that I was okay and my life has been
good, and I was happy, in hopes that
somehow those words would get to
her.
share similar experiences and can relate to
you with a look or smile without having
to explain themselves. They don’t question why you don’t look like your family
members, or why your last name does not
fit “ethnic” features of your face.
But despite wonderful friendships and
the fun I was having, as I looked around
the city I still felt like an outsider looking into something I was supposed to be
a part of. I secretly looked at others and
wondered if they would be able to answer
the questions I had about the first years of
my life.
Motherland Visit
Adopting a Child
My second trip to Korea was much more
lighthearted. The government of one of the
provinces in Korea funded a trip for adult
adoptees to visit their motherland and gain
some cultural experiences they previously
had not known or had forgotten. I went
with my husband, Jim. We only had to
pay half our airfare, and the government
funded the rest of the 10 days. I refused
to attach any “heavy” emotions to the trip,
because I couldn’t handle it emotionally.
My third trip was different in so many
ways. This time, I was there to meet my
first child, my son. Jim and I had talked
about adopting in the past, but after we
had a child biologically. For many who
are adopted, the hopes of having a child
biologically helps fill the gap of some
unanswered questions of the past. For me,
at this time, having a child biologically was
another loss I had to grieve before I could
get on that plane to bring home my son.
This trip actually felt more like a vacation; I saw beautiful things and met some
wonderful people I am still friends with to
this day. There is something very special
about being around other people who
This time when I got off the plane everything felt familiar, like I was seeing Korea
the way I should have my first trip back. I
wanted to take everything in so that someday I could tell my son what a beautiful
Along with the sadness came a
feeling of elation that was almost
indescribable when I held my son for
the first time. His smile was contagious and all the sadness that I felt
melted when I saw him. I couldn’t
believe how beautiful he was. I was in
complete awe of him.
When we took him home forever, my
husband and I could not contain our emotions any further. We held our son—our
son!—and each other, and cried.
But this time these were not tears from
grieving—these were tears of utter joy.
This was our forever family. It didn’t matter
how we became a family, but the fact that
we were a family.
I thought of my own mom and dad and
what it was like for them, the first time they
held me. With my son asleep in my arms
while I walked the streets that I proudly
call my motherland, I realized I had come
full circle—from a Korean adoptee to an
adoptive parent.
I know that my son will grieve his past
in his own way, but knowing we share that
bond of adoption is something that I hope
will make grieving those losses a bit easier.
There were times in my past I wondered
why I was adopted, and why God had
chosen this path for me.
Watching my son while he slept close to
my heart, I knew—this was the plan God
had in store for me when I boarded that
first airplane all those years ago. ■
www.holtinternational.org 29
calendar
Texas
Nebraska
Nov. 9—Holt Benefit Art Auction at Paradise Cove
in Grapevine for children in Holt’s care affected
by HIV/AIDS. An Evening at the Lake with
Holt President and CEO Gary Gamer. Contact:
Julia Banta, Event Chair, at juliabanta@mac.
com or Monica Wilton, Holt Events Manager, at
[email protected] or (800) 451-0732
Feb. 23, 2008—Holt Colors of Hope Dinner Auction
in Omaha. 5:30 p.m. Featured speaker is Holt
Board member Steve Stirling. Contact: Monica
Wilton, Holt Events Manager, at monicaw@
holtinternational.org or (800) 451-0732
July 2008—Holt Adoptee Camp in Ashland for
adoptees 9–16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at
(541) 687-2202 or [email protected]
Arkansas
December 1—Holt Quarterly Meeting and Christmas
Open House at Indian Hills Church, 6801 JFK Blvd.
in North Little Rock, 2-5 p.m. For more details go
to: www.holtinternational.org/adoption/branches/
arbranch.shtml
New Jersey
July 14-18, 2008—Camp Friendship Korea at Shrine
of St. Joseph in Stirling for campers entering
kindergarten to eighth grade the following
September. Go to: www.campfriendshipnj.com
California
Jan. 27, 2008—Holt Silk Bag Luncheon at the Event
Center at St. Mary’s Cathedral in San Francisco.
Featured speaker is Holt Board member Steve
Stirling. Contact: Monica Wilton, Holt Events
Manager, at [email protected] or
(800) 451-0732
August 2008—Holt Adoptee Camp in Dobbins for
adoptees 9–16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at
(541) 687-2202 or [email protected]
Holt Board member Julia Banta with a young artist
at the Close to You Foundation in Iasi, Romania,
June 2007. Banta chairs the Holt Benefit Art
Auction to be held Nov. 9 in Grapevine, Texas.
Kansas / Missouri
Oct. 6, 2007 –Feb. 10, 2008—Rising Dragon: Ancient
Treasures from China at the Nelson Atkins
Museum of Art in Kansas City, Mo. For more
information www.nelson-atkins.org/art
Feb. 23, 2008— Chinese New Year Support Group
Lunch for all Holt MO / KS families, 11 a.m.-2 p.m.
For details, contact the Branch Office: missouri@
holtinternational.org or (816) 822-2169
a big
July 21-25, 2008—Camp Friendship China at Shrine
of St. Joseph in Stirling for campers entering
kindergarten to eighth grade the following
September. Go to: www.campfriendshipnj.com
August 2008—Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9–16
years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202
or [email protected]
Oregon
July 2008—Holt Adoptee Camp in Corbett for adoptees
9–16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541)
687-2202 or [email protected]
Thank you
to our donors for their generous support of our auctions and fundraising events
Portland Dinner &
Auction 2006
Silk Bag Luncheon 2007
John & Shirley Beier
SELCO Community Credit Union
Ross & Gloria Edwards
Jeffrey & Carol Saddington
Pacific Continental Bank
Jim & Leah Barfoot
Fieldstone Winery
David & Nicole Kaufman
Peter & Jane Kay
Mark & Nancy Brown
MoonRattles
BEMA Electronics
Texas Tea & Fashion
Show 2007
Valley River Inn
Larry & Lisa Cahill
Ken Choi
Cherng Loong
Melody of China
Texas Oncology & Dr.
Randall T. Davis
CDI Vaults
Michael Curtis
Paul Disdier
Omaha Dinner &
Auction 2007
Verizon
Pacific Office Automation
Eugene Dinner &
Auction 2007
Audio Visual Management Services
Tim Larson
King Estate Winery
Seoul Identity
Associated Business Systems
KVAL TV
Neil Koehler & Cindy Toy
Don Courtney
Paul Disdier
Jerry’s Home Improvement
McKenzie River Broadcasting
Lincoln Financial - Martin
L. Bauer Memorial Fund
Richard Gunningham
Skip & Kim Hanson
Tim Larson
Skip & Kim Hanson
Jennifer Lalime
InTouch Communications
Jody Lawson
Kenneth A. Spanel, DDS
KGW Northwest NewsChannel 8
Steven & Lori Stangl
MCH Construction
Big Red Printing
Jeffrey Saddington
Omnium Worldwide
Ken Wright Cellars
Andy & Susan Bailey
Wells Fargo
30 Summer
2007
Matt & Donna Johnson
Skip & Kim Hanson
Greg & Cynthia Bigelow
Phil & Julene Littleton
The Best Little Printhouse in Town
Claire
Helping a Child Today
Brown-eyed beauty,
For many years, one of my closest friends from college
worked for an international child sponsorship and relief
organization, helping provide medical care, food, housing,
clothing and so on for many of the world’s poorest and least
cared for. I asked him once if, after all his efforts and those
of the organization, there was any appreciable improvement
in the world as a whole. His reply was that whether there
was or not, the most important consideration was that each
person who was helped needed that help today.
You came from so far away,
A stranger looking for a home.
Your mama helped you find the way.
You are a storybook of wonder.
Each day you turn over a new page
That makes me want to read on,
To discover another secret,
Another subtle shade of the mystery
of who you are, and
who you will be.
—Paul L. Kegel
Editor’s Note: Dr. Kegel helped
Claire’s mother through her adoption process. This poem, written on
the occasion of Claire’s 8th birthday,
marks “the wonder and joy that an
adopted child like Claire brings to
her family and all those who know
her,” says Dr. Kegel. “Claire was an
inspiration to two of my children
who have subsequently adopted children from China.”
Seven years ago, I had the inexpressible joy of seeing a
good friend of mine return from China with the beautiful
little girl I had helped her to adopt. Nearly 30 years earlier,
I experienced this same overwhelming joy when I adopted
my own daughter.
If you are one of those fortunate individuals who has adopted a child, you, too, know this fantastic thrill and love
that accompanies an adoption. If you are in the process of
adopting, you feel the excitement that daily grows greater
as you draw nearer to that magic moment when you finally
are united with your child.
So it is with sponsoring a child through Holt International. Holt cannot help every child
in need; but, when you sponsor a child, you help that child today, and tomorrow, and the
next day—until that precious child (“your child,” in many ways) is in a permanent, loving
family. You will have helped make a better, happier, healthier future for that one child.
And, when “your child” is in a permanent, loving family, you will feel that same great
surge of joy that I and countless others have felt when a little child at last has a family, a
home and a future.
—Paul L. Kegel, De Pere, Wisconsin
Orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children around the world need food,
shelter, clothing and medical treatment... essentials your sponsorship of
$30 per month will help provide. Choose a child to sponsor from
Holt’s website: holtinternational.org/sponsorship
or call 888.355.HOLT
Your Sponsorship can...
Claire at age 1½ in her
bedroom for the first time.
Places
in the heart
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20 08 Holt Heritage Tours
China Family Tours
Contact Steve Hejna, China Program | (541) 687-2202 | steveh @ holtinternational.org
Korea Motherland Tour
|
Korea Family Tour
Contact Paul Kim, Korea Program | (541) 687-2202 | paulk@ holtinternational.org
Thailand Family Tours
Contact Marissa Leuallen, Thailand Program | (541) 687-2202 | marissal @ holtinternational.org
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