“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord.” Ps 27:13 NKJV Cover photo by Robin Reinhold Jodie Denning Testimony J odi Denning has a simple passion for the women she serves in her jail ministry. Her passion is a testimony to the Lord’s grace, love, promises, mercy, hope and faithfulness. Jodi lives in Las Cruces, NM with her husband Terry. My “Arrest” (How Did That Happen?) Jail isn’t something I would have ever envisioned, or planned for my life!!! In a way, like many of the women there, I ended up going because of the influence of a friend. Audrey went first My friend Audrey joined a small group couples Bible study I was in. Her love for God is very obvious. She is bubbly, dramatic, full of life, lights up a room, and very open and transparent. She is a gifted singer on the worship team at church and working on Jodie and Terry Denning a Master’s in music while teaching music at the Christian school. Very Busy! She is one of those really talented, “do-it-all and do-it- well” types. One night Audrey said she was tired of “just being a consumer” of Scripture. She said she felt “spiritually obese” – consuming too much, exercising too little ouch. That was convicting to me. Audrey told us she felt God was leading her to go minister to the women in jail. That intrigued me, because I could never imagine myself doing something like that. I have a box, and I like my box. I don’t want to explore out of my box. I was more of a “join into whatever the church is doing” type. I would volunteer to do things I felt comfortable and safe. Looking back, it is obvious that I only signed up to do things I could easily do in the flesh. Things that required no real reliance on God Each week at Bible study though, I would ask Audrey how it was going at the jail. I asked her what she did in her jail classes. She said she sang, told Bible stories, and even acted out Biblical characters. Then at our Bible study she would share various stories about how her classes were going, and ask for prayer. A couple months went by, and in October 2010 Audrey asked for specific prayer for God bring her a partner, someone to help teach, and fill in if she couldn’t make it. She also wanted someone to share the experience with her. I heartily joined in that prayer because it seemed very “safe” at the time! The best I remember it was something like this: “God, please send somebody to help Audrey. You know who You desire for that role. Prepare their hearts and give them a desire to join in Audrey’s ministry.” A few days later she called me (which was a little odd… I didn’t really know her all that well) and asked if I had been praying. I told her I had. Then she asked, “so, would you like to go to jail with me?” Yikes! I did not see that coming!!! I gave her the standard “I-am-a-mature-Christian” answer… “Um, let me pray about it.” I read a book once that taught we should model our prayers after Scripture, so I did. I prayed like that great Biblical prayer warrior… Jonah!!! “I’m sure it is obvious to You that I am Totally not the right person for this ministry!” “God send somebody else, anybody else… but don’t send me!” You’ve got the wrong girl! I compiled my list of reasons why I wasn’t going to jail with Audrey. I’m pretty sure God was enjoying a wonderful belly laugh at this point! I had no experience that would prepare me for a ministry like this. Most people in jail ministry have some experience with the jail or prison system. I didn’t even know the difference between jail and prison! I couldn’t sing, tell stories, or act out Biblical characters like Audrey and I shared this fear with Audrey, but she didn’t buy it. She told me I shouldn’t try to do what she does, I should do what God was calling me to do. The problem is, I had no idea what that was. I had been in a lot of Bible studies… but I had never taught one! Fears and more fears I had fears about the jail environment. What is it like? It sounds scary! Am I going to be in there with the women? Would I be in danger? Do I need to sign up for karate? My husband had concerns, and he was pretty unsure about the idea of me being in jail ministry. I’m pretty sure he thought I was joking at first! I also had fears about my ability to relate to the women. I mean, what would we have in common? Turns out, a lot more than I would have ever thought! Would I be able to understand their slang? Would they laugh at the middle aged white “church lady”? Sometimes, but I just laugh with them, or use a little jail slang! Remember… “I have a box, and I like my box.” Jail was way outside my box! I also had a big fear of the time the commitment. I would have to spend time preparing Bible studies and material and after all, I would be “giving up” one whole night a week! I freely admit now, most this was just selfishness. I also had fears about not being able to answer their questions, not knowing what to say. I had heard preachers like Ronnie Moyer say, “If I answer your questions with… I think, I feel or I believe… ignore everything else I say.”The only thing that matters is what does God say. But I knew my knowledge of God’s Word wasn’t nearly good enough to do that. I could picture myself stumbling around in my concordance trying to find verses. God used that fear to motivate me to study and learn. I had a huge fear of failing and disappointing God and I was very afraid of being responsible for God’s Word. James 3:1says: not many should teach, because they will be judged more strictly. Those fears were healthy ones… but to not go where God calls would be disobedience. God… Can’t you see you have the wrong girl? I was pretty convinced God would see my list and realize how disqualified I was for jail ministry. I was wrong! God let me know, “You are Going To Jail – One Way Or The Other.” God did not see things from my perspective, and made it very clear in several ways, and through several believers! That’s when I knew – I’m going to jail. Voluntarily or not! My “Early Incarceration” By Nov 2010 I had been approved and trained with a course I took. It is easy to get into jail if you don’t mind staying a while and wearing a jumpsuit. Turns out it is quite a process if you want to be able to leave when you’re done. My training class of 4 hours! had a 30 minute segment on “how to be a ‘good’ hostage”! I wondered, “What am I getting myself into?” Audrey’s Gift The first night, I was very nervous and scared and Audrey took me aside and gave me a precious gift. She told me, “Don’t ever lose sight of the fact you can’t save them. You can’t be their Savior. That is a burden you can’t carry because only Jesus Christ can save them. He alone can be their Savior and you are just a vessel, so be a vessel He can use. Be obedient, be diligent in your study, be prepared, be prayed up, and be faithful.” I’m very thankful for that gift. This is something everyone in ministry needs to be reminded of regularly! Second thought That first night as I watched Audrey teach, sing and tell stories, I got reaaly nervous and asked myself, “Why am I here? I don’t have any of her gifts. They love her! I can’t do this! God made a big mistake! How am I going to tell Audrey I can’t do this?” But then I stopped focusing on Audrey and started focusing on the women. I saw their fear, their pain, their despair, their shame… I saw their hopelessness. Audrey treated them with dignity and grace, and I watched their shells slowly crack. She pointed them to Jesus Christ as the only hope. I learned something important that first night. Light shines most brightly in dark places. If you have a dark room & bright hallway… open the door and the light conquers darkness. The darkness in a black room can never conquer when there is even one glimmer of light. I realized these women were actually pretty open to hearing God’s Word and they were probably much more open than in the average church on Sunday morning. It was very clear some of them had never really heard about Jesus Christ before. I realized what a privilege it was to be there to share Christ. When I got home, I was so wound up it took hours to get to sleep. I could hardly stand waiting a whole week to go back! That is where God began the process of dragging me out of my box and rocking my world. You don’t get to see God’s power in your life until you are willing to do something you know you are not capable of doing on your own. I was definitely in a perfect position to see God’s power – out of my box and in over my head. ...to be continued in the March edition Fellowship of Christian Cowboys, Inc. P.O. Box 1210, Cañon City, CO 81215 FCC Board of Directors Lynne Schricker - Lifetime Grant Adkisson - President C.R. “Bob” Devine - Chairman of the Board Advisory Members: Marty Ross, Kenny O’Quinn, Vonna Laue Office Staff: Jocelyn Slattery - Administrative Assistant Contact Information/Hours Phone: 719-275-7636 Fax: 719-275-3760 email: [email protected] Website: www.christiancowboys.com Monday through Friday, 10:00 am till 4:00 pm (MST) “The Lord is their strength, and He is the saving refuge of His anointed.” Ps 28:8 NJVK Our Purpose To present to cowboys, and all whom they influence, the challenge and adventure of receiving Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; and to disciple them in their commitment to serve Jesus in their relationships and in the fellowship of the church. Our Desire The desire of FCC is to use our rich western heritage to reach across this great nation, using cowboys and cowgirls ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Fellowship of Christian Cowboys, Inc. ... is a non-profit, interdenominational ministry that operates on the faith-funded support of individuals and companies who share a common desire to further the gospel of Jesus Christ to rural America. Lacie Andrews - Reception/Product Manager
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