1. sports
2. fencing

244
TOP GEAR
SURVIVAL:
TARPS, TRAPS, AND
TACTICAL KNIVES
This gear section is offered
for fun, as a collection of
toys I kept after testing
hundreds of options.
In other words, you don’t
have to buy anything.
Some of the most practical items, like the survival
fishing kit, will be covered
later. For those interested,
I had to cut more than
50 pages of gear-related
craziness that answered
questions like:
L What does an
Armageddon-proof billionaire compound look
like, based on real-world
specs from hedge fund
managers?
L Is it possible to purchase
an “up armor” Humvee
from Serbia for the cost
of your Prius? (Yep.)
L If a major disaster hit
cities like NYC, SF, or
L.A., what are the best
escape methods and
vehicles?
Find these cut sections and
more at fourhourchef.com/
extras.1 In the meantime,
enjoy my short list, for
entertainment purposes
only. The most helpful tools
will appear again.
1
STARTERS
1.
Guardian Two-Person
Survival Bag
$95
Hard-core survivalists
won’t settle for this, but
if you’re a busy person
looking for decent disaster insurance, this is a
one-click (mostly) all-inone option. This backpack
contains emergency
blankets, water purification tablets, roughly 5,000
calories’ worth of food
bars, waterproof matches
and a lighter, a first-aid kit,
a waste disposal bag, and
so on. I keep it at home in a
closet and toss it in the car
before remote road trips.
The components don’t last
forever, so replace every
five years.
2.
Leatherman
Surge Multitool
$70
If you had to choose one
tool for indoors and outdoors, this is it. Whether
fixing that stupid dresser
drawer, tweezing fishing
line, or breaking down a
500-lb animal, it can get
the job done.
3.
7.
Coghlan’s Fire Paste
Daisy ¼"
Slingshot Ammo
$7
Odorless and tasteless
paste for starting fires,
even in damp conditions.
Bootleg version: rub cotton
balls in Vaseline and store
in a film canister. Don’t leave
the trailhead without it.
$6
You won’t be taking down
any charging rhinos with
these. They’re strictly for
target practice. For getting
food, you’ll need rocks or at
least ½" ammo.
4.
8.
Lockpick Set
Magnesium
Fire-starter
(Prices vary)
Author Neil Strauss’s
favorite lockpicks are Eric
Michaud’s. SerePick, run
by an ex-Marine, makes an
excellent set of “Bogota”
picks, as well as universal handcuff keys, Kevlar
survival cord, and diamond
wire blades for all your
daily urban-evasion needs.
$10
Magnesium shavings are
less foolproof than fire
paste but are a more common alternative. To use
them, you will need both
tinder and a blade to shave
off the magnesium and
strike the flint (the black
edge).
5.
9.
ThermaCELL Bug
Repellant Appliance
Highgear Trail
Torch Mini Lantern
$17
This pocket-size device,
which can be used as
a lantern, flashlight, or
beacon, has been discontinued. I love it, but reviews
are all over the map. For
consistent positive reviews,
I recommend the Coleman
MicroPacker compact lantern ($13) as an alternative.
DEET- and odor-free, this
small appliance heats
a chemical film that
creates a 15 x 15–ft bugfree zone for up to 48
hours. This will save your
sanity if camping or hiking
in mosquito-infested territory for several hours or
days. It’s not incense, so
don’t breathe it in.
6.
Trumark WristBraced Slingshot
$6
I have always loved slingshots (sorry about shooting out the car windows,
Mom), and this model
remains almost unchanged
since 1953. Great for
informal target shooting
on tin cans, etc. (called
“plinking”), it can also be
effective at close range for
small game like rabbit.
ems
hese it
All of t found at
can be
OM/
R C H E F.C
F O U R H OILU D - G E A R
W
They’ll be put up over time in a series.
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TOP GEAR SURVIVAL
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3.
7.
Self-Locking Snares
Gill Net
10 x 12–ft Tarp
$10 (set of 3)
$22
$20
There are two primary
types of traps for catching small game: deadfalls
(think Looney Tunes rock
balanced on a stick) and
snares. “Body gripping”
snares, which were official
issue to soldiers during WWII, lock around an
animal’s torso or leg and,
while effective, cause an
agonizing and protracted
death. They should never
be used outside of emergency circumstances and
are categorically illegal in
most states. I have never
used one, thankfully, but I
pack them for remote trips.
One professional trapper
recommended survival
snares from snareshop.com,
which are small enough to
fit in your pants pocket.
For fishing, trapping, and
more. One of the most
underrated survival tools.
See page 320.
Uses abound for the lowly
tarp, making it perhaps the
most valuable item on this
page. Under normal circumstances, it makes the
perfect picnic “blanket,”
as seen in Japan during
cherry blossom season. For
camping or survival, it can
serve as a shelter roof or
rainwater collector.
2.
See page 321.
Outdoor Aluminum
Dutch Oven
6.
$50+
This differs from what you
bought for “DOM” in two
respects: the top is flat to
support coals, and it’s onethird the weight of castiron. For hiking, consider a
2-qt version if you’re cooking for 1–2 people, or
a 5-qt model if feeding
a small tribe. They will
add 4½ lbs and 8 lbs to
your payload (what you’re
carrying), respectively. By
comparison, the combi you
own has 3 qt of volume and
weighs 14 lbs.
If you’re not carrying the
Dutch oven far, the most
popular outdoor model is
still a large, 8-qt–capacity
cast-iron monster. It clocks
in at a hernia-worthy 20 lbs.
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4.
Conibear 110 or
Duke 110 Trap
$20
Typically used for mink,
muskrat, and weasel,
these traps are famous for
their speed and considered humane, as far as
such things go. Imagine a
double-sided mousetrap at
1,000 times the strength.
5.
All-In-One Fishing
Survival Kit
$27
Tannerite
$40 and up
I included this just to blow
your mind. Tannerite falls
in the “how can that possibly be legal?” category.
Consisting of two elements
that are nonexplosive when
kept apart, it’s considered
a “binary” explosive and
used for avalanche control,
police applications, and
target practice. Tannerite
explodes when shot with a
high-powered rifle, making
it useful for identifying
long-range hits without
visual inspection. Beware:
while buying Tannerite
might be legal in your
state, detonating it under
most circumstances will
put you in jail.
TOP GEAR SURVIVAL
8
1.
8.
JBL 6-ft Breakdown
Travel Pole Spear
$112
Recommended to me by
several friends who spearfish exclusively for food
4–8 weeks of the year, this
elegantly designed pole
spear is dead simple to use.
The kit includes two spear
points: a single rock point
and a trident “paralyzer”
tip. It can be broken down
into sections and is small
enough to fit in a backpack
or suitcase. To use the pole
spear, you loop your thumb
through the rubber tubing
and stretch it toward the
opposite end, grabbing the
spear toward the tip. When
you open your hand, the
elastic energy propels the
spear through the water.
Pole spears are more challenging than the similar
Hawaiian sling, and much
more kinesthetic than the
speargun, which a friend
described as “like shooting deer with an Uzi.” Buy
the extra “sling assembly”
(backup tubing) in case
of breakage. Otherwise,
you might end up angry
enough to punch all the
lionfish in the world. And
remember good goggles.
My favorites are the
Kaiman from Aqua Sphere.
9/25/12 10:35 AM
248
1.
2.
.22 Caliber Starter
(Blank) Pistol
Vortex Viper HD
10x42 Binoculars
$50
$600
I bought the cheapest
model I could find, despite
bad reviews, and ordered
no ammo. Why? Better luggage handling. See sidebar
on opposite page.
These were my first really
legit binoculars. Sadly,
$400–$500 is the minimum threshold for “now
I get it” quality. Another
entry-model option my
consiglieri recommended
was Cabela’s Alaskan
Guide, 8x42 Full-Size. If
you want to get fancy, try
a chest harness instead of
a neck strap. This allows
you to move around, or lie
prone, without the binocs
swinging around.
What does 8x42 or 10x42
mean? The first number
is the magnification. The
lower the magnification,
the wider your field of view.
The higher your magnification, the farther you
can see. The 8s would be
perfect in South Carolina,
as you’re hunting at closer
range (typically <300
yards). Out west, where
you might stalk prey (e.g.,
elk) from mountaintop
to mountaintop (called
“glassing”) and then
pursue, 10s are better. In
that case, spotting from a
distance is more important
than wide field of view.
The higher the magnification, the more hand shake
(which is always present)
will throw off the image.
1
2
TANNING BED GOGGLES 2
The second number, the
42 of 10x42, refers to the
diameter of the front lens
(the objective lens) in millimeters. The bigger that
number, the more useful
the binocs are in lowlight conditions, just like
owl eyes. 2 Just kidding. Lens covers.
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In February 2012, I landed at JFK to a rude
awakening: American Airlines had lost one
of my bags.
Three days and many fruitless phone calls
later, I was stuck wearing a bathing suit for
underwear and feeling like one grumpy sisterfucker.3 Sitting down in my filthy pants,
I delivered a rare public smackdown to
@AmericanAirlines on Twitter, and my bag
was miraculously found within three hours. In
the meantime, one of my readers (@imchrisv)
pointed me to Bruce Schneier’s outstanding
security blog (schneier.com), where one of his
readers had a related tip:
Limit this trick to domestic flights, and you’ll
want to buy a TSA-approved lock (which
they have a master key for) so they don’t cut
yours off.
TOP GEAR SURVIVAL
ONE REASON TO BUY A “GUN,” EVEN IF YOU HATE GUNS
Even if you’re packing clothing instead of
high-grade camera gear, $50 is a cheap
insurance policy against airline dumb-assery.
A “weapon” is defined as a rifle, shotgun, pistol, air gun, and starter pistol. Yes, starter pistols—those little guns that fire blanks at track
and swim meets—are considered weapons . . .
and do not have to be registered in any state in
the United States. I have a starter pistol for all
my cases. All I have to do upon check-in is tell
the airline ticket agent that I have a weapon
to declare . . . . I’m given a little card to sign,
the card is put in the case, the case is given to
a TSA official who takes my key and locks the
case and gives my key back to me.
That’s the procedure. The case is extratracked . . . TSA does not want to lose a weapons case. This reduces the chance of the case
being lost to virtually zero.
It’s a great way to travel with camera gear . . . .
I’ve been doing this since December 2001 and
have had no problems whatsoever.
3
Since you asked, Indians and Pakistanis find “motherfucker” too unbearably vulgar, so they substitute “sisterfucker”
instead. The most common spelling in English, though it depends on dialect, is bhenchod. May it serve you well.
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1.
Brian Goode “B.
Goode” Utility Knife
(Prices vary)
5
If I had to pick one allpurpose knife, this beautiful, perfectly balanced
handmade knife would
give the ESEE-5 (see next
spread) a run for its money.
This is lighter and easier
to wield.
2.
Knives of Alaska
Suregrip Jaeger/
Muskrat Knife Combo
$165
If minimizing weight while
hunting is a priority, this
combo is best of breed.
The Muskrat’s double
edge allows a back-andforth motion that greatly
reduces both skinning time
and headache. Comes with
sharpening steel.
6
3.
Helle Harding
$110
This Norwegian knife has
the most intricate woodwork in my collection. I
haven’t had the heart to
abuse it in the wild.
Davis Deluxe
Rigging Knife
$20
This is the sailor’s best
friend, useful for all manner of rigging and knot
tying (or untying). The
blade doesn’t lock, so be
careful, but the marlin
spike alone makes it worth
the price.
TOP GEAR SURVIVAL
HUNTING AND
RIGGING KNIVES
5.
6.
Havalon Piranta
$60
The Piranta is, by many
orders of magnitude, the
sharpest knife I have ever
owned. It’s better thought
of as a field scalpel. The
#60XT blades are replaced
like razor blades rather
than resharpened.
7.
AccuSharp
(not pictured)
$10
For sharpening any of the
double-beveled knives
(besides the Havalon), I
use the AccuSharp Knife
and Tool Sharpener, which
is pocket-size and can be
used on everything from
kitchen knives to axes.
4.
Buck Knife 119 Special
$45
This is my favorite Buck
knife, handcrafted by Hoyt
and Al Buck almost 50
years ago and backed by
an unconditional lifetime
warranty. It was a gift from
my mama, who introduced
me to responsible knife
handling on childhood
camping trips.
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“TACTICAL” KNIVES
1.
“Tactical” generally refers
to tools designed for military or law-enforcement
use. My curiosity about
tactical knives was piqued
during evasive-driving
training in Arizona with
Safehouse Anti-Terrorism
and Force Protection. It
was there that I bumped
into stacks of magazines
dedicated to blade forging.
Maasai Warrior Sword
This sword is fashioned out
of a ground-down British
machete. Used ritualistically for cow sacrifice by
the Maasai tribe—who subsisted on cow meat, milk,
and blood for centuries—
the handle and sheath are
both made of cow hide. The
Maasai warrior I bought
this from was eager to talk,
which we did for more than
an hour, on topics ranging from scaring off lions
(easy compared to the
more dangerous hippos
and elephants) to multiple
wives (their culture is traditionally polyamorous). The
more cattle and stature a
man has, the more wives
he’s permitted. I asked if
the men with more wives
were happier. He laughed
out loud and responded,
“Are you kidding? How
could they ever make them
all happy?!” That’s why
polyandry is also par for
the course; the ladies get
multiple men.
2.
Nepalese Khukuri
Of all the knives pictured,
I’ve had this one the
longest. See page 70 for
details.
Here are a few models I
took for test drives simply
to answer the question:
“What makes these knives
so special?”
3.
ESEE-5
$200
If I could take only one
knife into the unknown,
this would have to be it. The
ESEE-5 was designed by
Air Force SERE (Survival,
Evasion, Resistance, and
Escape) instructors. At
16 oz, it is heavy enough
to use as a makeshift axe
(unlike the B. Goode knife)
and also features a lanyard
hole and divot for bowdrill fire making. Entirely
independently, Neil Strauss
declared the close cousin
ESEE-3 (5 oz) to be his
favorite general-purpose
fixed-blade knife.
4.
Benchmade
Marc Lee Knife
Grayman West
Nile Warrior 7.5"
$215
This knife received an
incredible amount of military praise. For its size, the
ease-of-use is surprising,
and the sheath is the best
I own. The product page
online is something else.
“The GRAYMAN SB West
Nile Warrior is a balanced
single-bevel [ground on
one side only] singleedge fighter/utility knife
with a dramatic recurved
bolo design for optimum
chopping and slashing
performance. Additionally,
the wide foreblade causes
a disproportionately large
wound channel. Now
comes with working oil
and exposed pounding
butt.” Intense.
TOP GEAR SURVIVAL
COLLECTIBLE KNIVES
5.
6.
Böker Gaucho
Bowie Recurve with
Kraton Handle
(Prices vary)
Böker fixed-blade knives
were recommended by
Yvon Chouinard, founder
of Patagonia, who cited
Aron Ralston (of 127 Hours
fame) as a cautionary tale:
if you ever have to cut off
your own arm, you better
have a good knife. This
recurve model is now hard
to find, but there are plenty
of comparable options. I
prefer the B. Goode.
$245
Marc Lee was the first Navy
SEAL killed in the Iraq war.
This knife’s handle has the
best hand-feel of any I own.
Oddly, the thumb release
on the sheath seems to
be on the wrong side for
right-handers.
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