CHANGING LIVES

Spring 2015
CHANGING LIVES
Liz Jones meets two service users who have
made big changes in their life - a man with
a passion for caring and a woman who is
proud to be a loser!
David is a young man with a passion for caring.
He loves his job as a junior care assistant and
is studying hard for his level 3 qualification in
social care. “I love it absolutely”, he says, “It’s
the best thing I ever did”. So it’s hard to believe
that not so very long ago he was homeless
and addicte to alcohol, substance abuse and
self-harm.
On the streets at the age of 21 and without
a clue what to do next, David found his way
to the Friary – and that triggered off a whole
range of events which helped him turn his
life around.
“I was a rough sleeper and it was really bad,”
he explains. “But one day I met a friend from
school and he brought me along to the
Sunday night church service at Friary. If I met
that friend again I would thank him so much.”
But what David valued more than anything
was someone to talk to about his problems
– things you can’t just chat to your friends
about. Being able to see the GP and getting
help with his CV were also invaluable. He
went on to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, did
voluntary work and has been dry for three
years now.
Like many people in his situation, looking
back is painful. “When I first came to Friary I
was a dishevelled mess. It was terrible being
David returned the following Monday and was homeless – I would go into a library, public
fast tracked into the Salvation Army Hostel.
toilets or any place just to get shelter. God
Soon he got a flat through the Guinness Home knows how many relationships I destroyed
Trust and Friary helped him kit it out with a
through alcohol. It was such a dark place
few basics.
for me.”
“I got some food and a cooker and some
furniture – nothing huge but to me it was
massive. That was such an amazing gesture.”
David also describes the guilt people can feel
when they do start to feel better. “When you
get dry you have a guilty conscience about the
continues on next page
WHY SUPPORT THE FRIARY?
ACT continued
past so you want to give something back,”
he says.
He decided to look at working as a care
assistant after attending a jobs fair and
hearing all about the work. “I like the idea of
helping people and I’m so pleased they gave
me the opportunity. I love it so much I don’t
even want to take annual leave. And I can’t
wait to move on – maybe to nursing – that
would be my dream job.”
David works in a residential care home for
older people and talks passionately and
sensitively about the residents and their
families. “It’s fantastic,” he says,” I love all the
characters and I love being there for the
families – helping them through difficult
times. I know how to talk to people without
patronising them and I love dealing with all
the health professionals as well. It’s cool!”
Quitting alcohol was a big turning point for
David. It was a long process – about six to 12
months – but he did it because he was sick
of being drunk. “I didn’t want to be a 50 year
old drunk. I’ve yet to meet someone who’s
a drunk yet witty and intelligent,” he says
philosophically.
“Coming to Friary was the first and more
important step,” he says. “Being on the streets
I was terrified. The weather was terrible and
I had no idea what to do. Coming to Friary
showed me there were practical steps to take
and gave me back a bit of independence.
They helped me with everything. When you
are homeless you feel very worthless. You live
everyday like it’s your last. Friary gives you
back your self-confidence.”
Lisa is less of a person than she used to be and
is proud to call herself the biggest loser! That’s
because she has lost three and a half stone in
weight and has been crowned the Greatest
Loser by Slimming World. Lisa now weighs in
at 18 and a half stone and her aim is to keep
on losing. Size 14 would be nice she says.
“It used to be like walking around carrying
two massive bags of spuds,” Lisa quips. “I had
trouble walking, my legs swelled up and I was
always breathless.”
It was the nurse at her GP surgery who told
her the only way to solve her problems was
to lose weight. “She was brilliant,” says Lisa. “I
really didn’t want to go to the slimming club
because I was embarrassed. I was in a real state
– but it was the best thing I ever did.”
Lisa has been on her diet – cutting down on
bread, sugar, fat and potatoes – for about
a year. “I feel really good, I can walk further,
I’ve lost weight from my face – and I’ve got a
waist!” she says. “It’s nice going into shops like
Next and being able to get into nice clothes. I
can buy leggings size 16 and I’m aiming to get
the five stone award.”
Lisa says she feels healthier and more
confident and her long term aims are to lose
another five stone and to get a job.
“I am on my own with four boys and I used to
bring them to the crèche here at Friary. Now
I usually come once a week and all the ladies
here have supported me. I have got young
kids and I don’t want to end up in a wheelchair
– I want to be able to run and do activities with
my boys.”
at East Leake and the church there often
provided gifts and harvest produce to help
The Friary. So, there are many connections
which all came together so that The Friary was
the natural choice.
“The highlight of my working with The Friary
was the Christmas lunch – a time of goodwill
when I was honoured to meet and talk to so
many clients who appreciated the Christmas
cheer and good food. It was heart-warming
to hear their positive stories and plans to
turn around their fortunes, get back into
mainstream society and make their own way
in the world.
“I have held many successful fundraising
Rushcliffe’s Mayor, Cllr Ron Hetherington,
events this year which go a little way towards
has been “touched and uplifted” by
ensuring the Friary can continue its good
spending time with his chosen charity and
work. A few of the events that spring to mind
their clients at The Friary in West Bridgford.
include a Charles Hanson antique evening,
the wonderful Djanogly Orchestra and many
Each year the Mayor chooses a charity to
more events and meals that have all been
support by fundraising and increasing
very enjoyable including a concert by the East
awareness of their work.
Leake Community Choir put on specially to
The Mayor explains why he chose The Friary:
support the Friary.”
“Firstly, it is based in Rushcliffe and it does
“I would urge anyone, or indeed any business,
such good work to help people who are
to give generously to this worthy cause.”
homeless and disadvantaged. I was brought
up in the Lake District and when I was young
I remember my grandad telling me of the
devastation he felt when he lost his job and
was given just three days to move out of their
tied cottage – no job and nowhere to live. He
was lucky to have family support, but people
at The Friary are not always so lucky. When
I left home I went to Liverpool as a student
apprentice and saw first hand the impact of
unemployment which caused people to spiral
downwards and these images have stayed
with me. My wife Glynis was a former rector
SCOUTS SLEEP-OUT!
Thinking about others, completing their
fund-raising badge and doing their bit for
our local homeless and disadvantaged
people...
When asked why they chose to support the
Friary, they said “The charity was chosen
before the activity. After our talk from the
Friary, all the scouts had agreed that they
wanted to raise some money for the centre as
A group of local children from the 4th West
it was a local charity, providing a fundamental
Bridgford Scouts based at the Methodist
service to the local community. The challenge
Church on Musters Road decided to organise
was chosen after the talk so that we could
a Sleep-over/Sleep-out in aid of the Friary.
raise funds and awareness of the issue of
After a talk from a member of staff at the Friary
homelessness.”
centre, all the scouts agreed that they would
We asked some of the Scouts what they had to
like to fundraise for a charity which was local
to them. The stories that the scouts were told say about their experience…..
about really hit home about how fortunate
Lucy, aged 13: “Not everyone has a safe, warm
they were, and how there are people in need;
and sheltered place to sleep at night, this is
right on their doorstep.
why we decided to do the sponsored sleep
out and raise awareness of the homeless in our
With the help of older members doing the
local area. Building our cardboard shelters may
full “Sleep-out” on a very chilly night on 24th
January they were able to raise approximately have been fun but it showed us the difficulties
of living in the streets, especially because
£2,500 for the Friary, some monies are still
coming in. In total 21 Scouts (17 boys, 4 girls) there aren’t usually lots of cardboard boxes
being handed out by scout leaders. It was
joined in.
surprising how warm it was when we calmed
down enough to think about sleep. However,
this was with four layers on, a sleeping bag
and two friends beside me.
The experience was one I will remember
forever and it made me realise the real
necessities of life.”
BARBER SHOP TAKING
A CUT FOR THE FRIARY!
It takes a community to end homelessness
and the residents of West Bridgford are
stepping up to the mark. Our local people
and businesses are doing their bit to help
homeless and disadvantaged people right
here on our doorstep.
Our community continues to articulate with
very practical steps how to get involved to end
homelessness and this gives the message to
our Service Users that they are valued and not
forgotten. Here are some recent examples of
local supporters:
We are all aware that being homeless means
you don’t have anywhere to call home but
the underlying poverty can leave people
feeling unwanted, unloved and uncared
for too. People in our community are
demonstrating that they want to help and
have taken the initiative to raise not just
money for but also awareness of the Friary.
Warren’s Barber Shop in Gordon Square,
West Bridgford held their 20th Anniversary
event on Saturday 14th March. To mark this
successful achievement and not wanting to
take the glory for himself, the owner Warren
Kent had nominated the Friary as the chosen
charity to benefit from the extra publicity
the event was due to attract. He had invited
If you know of a group of people or an
organisation who wants to get involved to
raise money for and awareness of the Friary,
please get in touch, we would love to hear
from you and support you in your efforts.
Email: [email protected]
Daniel, aged 12: “I thought the evening was
very good. I learned how it felt like to be
homeless and will try my best to help raise
awareness about them.”
Peter, aged 11: “Overall, the whole night was
very successful, but, most importantly, it made
me think about what it is like to be homeless
and in the future, I wish to get involved in
more things that support the Friary. I think it
was a good idea for a fundraising activity.”
A huge thank you to the 4th West Bridgford
Scouts for a great achievement in raising funds
and awareness. Thank you for thinking of the
Friary…
various local musicians and artistes along to
perform outside his shop, whilst the Friary sold
raffle tickets, gave out leaflets and collected
donations from the public and customers.
Local businesses had donated generous prizes
– all doing their bit to help us. The barber
shop staff had dressed up, served drinks and
supplied home-made cakes, all in aid of the
Friary. It was a great community atmosphere
and this drew quite a crowd on the day, as
people mingled to celebrate with Warren they
were also able to find out all about the Friary.
Some local customers and business people
also offered to help us in the future!
Thank you to all who participated!
SETTLING IN AT THE FRIARY
been reduced in line with so many other
government cutbacks. So that’s where
I come in.
Hi, I’m Helen Jones and I have been
recruited as the new Marketing and
Communications Officer for The Friary.
What does that mean and why does
this local charity need to appoint a new
member of staff at a time of austerity?
A marketing role is predominantly to raise
awareness of a service or product. In reality
we don’t need to advertise what we do at
the Friary in order to attract customers, on
the contrary, we have plenty! So, why a new
Marketing Officer, I hear you ask? My role is to
make sure as many people as possible get to
know what the Friary does and why it needs
your support.
You may or may not know that the Friary
has been around for over 25 years now. It
is a “local” registered charity that serves a
very wide community across Nottingham,
helping the most marginalised people of our
society including some rough sleepers. The
success of the Friary so far has been helped
by the wonderful and generous support of
local people. Historically, we have received
local authority funding, but sadly this has
In taking on my new role I have been made
aware that there are people who live in West
Bridgford who still don’t know what the Friary
does. I recognise that for the sake of asking,
there are many people who might want to get
involved. I don’t think anyone can disagree
with the act of “helping those in need”. We
have the expertise in-house to help vulnerable
people in a very practical way but can only
continue to do so if our staff and volunteers in
turn are supported. Despite facing shrinking
grants we don’t want to be forced to shrink the
provision of care to our Service Users. On the
contrary, we have plans to do even more! With
a sustained high demand in the number of
requests for help, we need to ask where would
these people go if they couldn’t come to the
Friary? We offer a bespoke service, we can
help, we are happy to help but in turn we will
rely on others to help us!
Over the coming months, we will be creatively
exploring initiatives both individually and
corporately to raise awareness of the Friary
and to increase our funding to support what
we do. We will also be looking to involve
ourselves in a Social Enterprise project
soon too.
Our website will keep you informed and we
want you to look out for new fundraising
opportunities in your existing community
groups, in turn we will be able to support your
initiatives by advertising via our website.
I’m looking forward to getting on with
my new role and I will certainly be glad to
hear from you in the meantime with any
fundraising ideas!
MUSTERS ROAD
OPEN GARDENS
SECOND HAND
BARGAIN SALES
In 2012 and 2013, residents of
Musters Road in West Bridgford
opened their gardens, played
host to hundreds of visitors and
raised a very healthy sum for the
Friary. The event is on again so
make a note in your diaries and
come along to support us:
46 Musters Road, West Bridgford NG2 7PR.
8 Saturday 9th May 2015
10 am – 12 noon
8 Saturday 11th July 2015
10 am – 12 noon
Sunday 28th June 2015
2pm – 6pm
Do you live on Musters Road and
want to open your garden?
Do you want to make a cake to sell
on the day?
THE MAYOR’S CHARITY
GOLF EVENT
In aid of the Friary.
Friday 1st May 2015, 1.30 pm start
Nottinghamshire Golf and Country Club,
Stragglethorpe, Nottingham NG12 3HB.
£140 for a team of four including coffee, Hot
Carvery Buffet and Dessert from 5.30 pm.
Contact the Mayor’s Secretary 0115 914 8521
[email protected]
Do you want to volunteer to help
before the event or on the day?
We would love to hear from you
so please get in touch.
[email protected]
Tel: 0115 981 0009
Join in and help us as we
continue to work locally to end
homelessness.
You can find out more about our
events and what’s going on by
following us on twitter @theFriary88
Tackling disadvantage Changing lives
WHAT IS THE FRIARY? WHERE TO FIND US
The Friary exists to assist local
disadvantaged people who are
homeless, living in temporary
accommodation or vulnerable from
long-term unemployment.
The Friary offers free support services
such as advice, access to health services,
tenancy support and employment skills.
Recreational, educational and leisure
time pursuits, along with essential social
welfare provision all add to our visitors’
quality of life.
The Friary is a faith based organization
receiving substantial support from local
churches and the community. The Friary
is open to people of all faiths or none.
46 Musters Road
Nottingham NG2 7PR
Phone 0115 982 5448
Fax 0115 982 7228
[email protected]
General Manager; Ann Bremner MBE
Business Manager; Sam Crawford
FRIARY OPENING TIMES
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
9.00 am - 1.00 pm
Sunday Evening Fellowship
8.00 pm - 9.00 pm
www.the-friary.org.uk
FACILITIES AND
SERVICES AVAILABLE
• Access to health services, including GP
• Confidential information and advice
• Practical welfare provision
• Shower and laundry
• Hairdressing / Barber
• Cafe offering soups and snacks
• Outreach services
• Tenancy support
• Dentistry
• Chiropody
• Optometry
• IT Suite
• Sunday Evening Fellowship
Registered Charity Number 1056825
Company registered in England and Wales
Number 3190740