How to Work Effectively
With People Who Act,
Think & Work SO
Differently From You!
Presented by Kelli Vrla
3 key things:
1.  Change happens over time,
not overnight.
2.  Habit changing is a process,
not just a checklist.
Today’s Agenda
Today’s Agenda
3 key things:
3.  Ask yourself an a.m. and p.m. question
each day.
o a.m.: What can I do today to work best with the
personalities I’m surrounded by?
o p.m.: What did I do today to work best with the
personalities I’m surrounded by?
Today’s Agenda
1. How to communicate and interact with people
with different communication styles
2. Defuse potential conflicts before they start.
3. Identify the needs and hot buttons.
4. Self-analysis test
Today’s Agenda
5. SELF Profile
6. Building loyalty and commitments
7. How to focus on your organization’s big-picture
goals and objectives
Today’s Agenda
•  The universe rewards
actions, not good intentions.
•  Practice your own selfimprovement of being a
master coach.
Personality Styles
SELF Profile Chart
Golden Rule: Do unto others as you prefer.
Diverse Behaviors
SELF Profile Chart
SELF Profile Chart
1.  Is this person more direct or indirect?
2.  Is this person more a people person or a
task-driven person?
3.  Does this person seem more comfortable
with structure or spontaneity?
4.  Does this person seem happier with more
detail or high concept?
5.  Does this person seem more extroverted
or introverted?
Behavior
5 Questions on
Patterns
Socializer
This is someone who’s very direct and loves to be
around people.
•  Under stress:
§  Very sharp-tongued
•  Key goal:
§  Get noticed or appreciated.
•  Needs:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Excitement
Adventure
Spontaneity
Change
Fun
Being around people
Socializer
This is someone who’s very direct and loves to be
around people.
•  Key turnoff:
§  Invisible
§  Isolated
•  Hot buttons:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Indecision
Waiting
Lack of enthusiasm
Too conventional
•  Key focus:
§  Limited options
§  Showy demonstrations
Executive Director
This person is very direct and not so much into people as
into getting results.
•  Under stress:
§  Impatient
•  Key goal:
§  Get it done.
•  Needs:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Control
Responsibility
Change
Movement
Fast pace
Executive Director
This person is very direct and not so much into people as
into getting results.
•  Key turnoff:
§  Too much detail
•  Hot buttons:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Laziness
Too much emotion
Lack of decision making
Ambiguity
•  Key focus:
§  Bottom line
§  Bullet points
Loyal Team Player
This person cares very much about the human element and
the big picture.
•  Under stress:
§  Frustration
§  Indecisiveness
§  Feeling pressured
•  Key goal:
§  Get along.
•  Needs:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Acceptance
Cooperation
Stability
Status quo
Loyal Team Player
This person cares very much about the human element and
the big picture.
•  Key turnoff:
•  Key focus:
§  Conflicts
§  Rude behavior
•  Hot buttons:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Too much change
Conflict
Lack of fairness
Loss of stability and security
Feeling rushed
§  How it helps everyone
§  Consistent and fair
Factual
This person thrives on facts and figures.
•  Under stress:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Factual
Isolate
Noncommunicative
Picky with details
Sullen
•  Key goal:
§  Get it right.
•  Needs:
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
§ 
Perfection
Autonomy
Consistency
Rules
High standards
Factual
This person thrives on facts and figures.
•  Key turnoff:
§  Guess or wing it
§  Don’t follow the rules
•  Key focus:
§  Follow a logical sequence.
§  Set up an appointment.
Factual Person
Interact Effectively With People
Different From You
The Custom
Motivation Chart
Valued
Understood
Appreciated
UVA
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
— Dr. Stephen Covey
The Custom
Motivation Chart
The Custom
Motivation Chart
Problem Solver
1. 
2. 
3. 
4. 
5. 
Identify the problem.
Analyze the problem.
Generate possible solutions.
Analyze your solutions.
Choose the best solution.
Individualized Attention
Every team member needs to be aware of
how his or her job fits into the big picture
of the organization’s goal.
§  Job-passion connection
§  How connected are you to your job?
§  What do you do?
Valued
Understood
Appreciated
UVA
Jerk Behaviors
Negative
feedback
Withholding
praise
Blaming
Criticizing
Distrusting
Blowing up
Not caring
Lacking
patience
Demanding
Setting
impossible
deadlines
Breaking
promises
Not listening
Defuse Potential Conflicts
QTIP:
§  Quit Taking It Personally
DTTB:
§  Don’t Take The Bait
Personality Styles
SELF Profile Chart
Potential Land Mines
1. What you should’ve done …
2. Well, obviously …
3. As the memo clearly stated …
4. What we needed per the last memo …
5. What you failed to see …
6. What were you thinking?
Example
Soon!
Always!
Never!
Time frame"
100%"
0%"
Improve Systems and
People Interactions
•  Recognize that not all conflict is a
bad thing.
•  Defuse conflicts before they affect
the entire work group.
Rule to
follow:
•  Let it go when you can.
Address it when you must.
4 Choices
1.  Stay and do nothing.
2.  Leave.
3.  Change our attitude.
4.  Change our behavior.
Questions
1.  What’s my real goal here?
2.  What can I or can’t I control or influence?
3.  What options do we have?
4.  Is the battle worth fighting?
Building Loyalty and Commitment
Principles:
1.  Make a true effort to
understand and
appreciate the
differences in everyone.
2.  Strive to resolve conflict
before it escalates.
3.  Don’t take the bait.
Building Loyalty and Commitment
Principles:
4.  Communicate openly
and candidly.
5.  Realize the importance
of all of your fellow
team members.
6.  Ask for people’s input
with problem solving
and decision making.
In Closing
Change happens over time, not overnight.
People-building is a long-term project.
Set a goal.
Build yourself and your colleagues.
Practice, practice, practice!
Welcome to
How to Work Effectively
With People Who Act,
Think & Work SO
Differently From You!
Q&A
With Kelli Vrla
joining us today!
Thank you for