Sydney Convict Fernando Peres on the team’s infamous Rugger Bugger fundraising strip show: “We have to reveal all our bits. And, yes, some are bigger than others!” Gym jitters and ruGGer buGGers Gay men aren’t good at sports? Don’t be ridiculous. Sydney Convict, Fernando Peres discusses the long and the short(s) of gay rugby. 90 DNA Grooming with Will Fennell I still remember vividly the first time I walked into a gym. I had just moved from country New South Wales to the intense muscle culture of the early ’90s Sydney gay scene. I didn’t necessarily want to build muscle, but like a David Attenborough, documentary Trials Of The Gay Male, pumping iron was a matter of survival in my new environment. For weeks I talked myself into going… and then out of going… and then back into going. Finally, after gathering all my psychological strength, I moved in on ground zero. About five metres from the entrance to the gym I became paralysed with fear, slowing my cautious gait until I was at a standstill. What lay behind those glass doors was the intimidating sight of bulging biceps, rippling pectorals and snarling attitude of the kind that only dance music, gorgeous men and a needle full of testosterone could bring. I turned and ran. I would rather have perished looking like Kate Moss than show them my skin and bones struggling to bench 10kg. Did I go back? Eventually, yes – but for nearly 18 months I trained my scrawny body at 10pm when the gym was empty, until I felt I was ready to slide into some Lycra (as you did then) and present myself at the more gay-popular 6pm shift. I still shudder at the thought… of Lycra, not the gym. Today, I care less about what people think and I love hitting the gym. Perhaps that’s one of the positives of getting through your twenties … okay, thirties! As I looked around the Mardi Gras party this year, it was clear there’s been a real shift in what Aussie men (not to mention all the imports, as well) now see as the textbook physique. There are less of the steroidal “muscle boys” that once crowded the dance floor with their attitude; what has evolved are gay men looking fit and healthy, with nice, natural, muscular and lean physiques. What’s pleasing about this change is that for most of us, with a bit of hard work (and less ice cream), this build is obtainable. I often hear, “I want to look like a DNA cover boy,” but talk alone isn’t going to get you there; those dreamy men work hard. Yes, genetics do play a role, but remember, was it Confucius who said, “There is always a hard floor under the unsightly carpet?” Probably not, but whoever it was knew what they were talking about. Where do you start? First, buy a pair of jeans two sizes too small or a tank top to show off your future biceps and make it your target to slide into them with confidence as soon as possible. Next step is getting your body moving. If the gym is not your thing (either too intimidating or too boring) my suggestion is start playing some sport. There’s something undeniably sexy about a man that plays sport. I think it’s because sportsmen train their bodies to be strong and fit, not just to prance and parade around Bondi Beach in a pair of barely-there bathers. And so I tracked down (perhaps stalked) a member of the gay rugby team, the Sydney Convicts, to chat about balls, grooming and gay footballers. Perhaps it’s the notion of big, muscled, dirty legs in short shorts, or the fact that they’re specialists with balls? I don’t know (or care) what it is; rugby players get my vote as the ultimate sexy sportsmen. Before meeting up with Fernando Peres to get the rugby lowdown, I had a simple request – arrive at the interview in football shorts or I’d cut the editorial. Yes, perhaps it bordered on journalistic sexual harassment, but it was sooooooo worth it! Will: Hi Fernando, before we start, can you remove your shirt? Okay, that’s better. How did you get involved with the gay rugby team? Fernando Peres: I always liked playing team sports and the idea of playing for a gay rugby team appealed to me. When I was living in London six years ago, I started playing for the Kings Cross Steelers who are the first open-membership gay and bisexual rugby club in the world. Rugby is a tough game and it draws on my many physical talents on the paddock. I’ve always enjoyed contact sports; I used to do Jiu Jitsu when I was younger, so for me it was an easy crossover to play rugby. I just had to get used to passing and running with the ball. I’ve also made some good friends through playing rugby. Do you have to be a man that kisses men to be on the team? No. The Sydney Convicts are very open and it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, bisexual or straight. Everyone is welcome regardless of experience or sexual orientation. Do the players pay special attention to their hair before going onto the field? You can name names? Everyone wants to look their best when they’re on show or playing football. It’s rumored that in our dressing room hair product quickly passes through many hands. As for names, we have a saying, “What goes on the paddock, stays on the paddock.” So no, no names this time but if you happened to pick any of our back line players, there’s a very good chance you’d find your man, and receive a free hair consultation to boot. There has been a lot of media attention given to your team. Why do you think this is? We’re the first gay rugby club in Australia; we’ve broken many stereotypes through the quality of our football. We’re committed to building a competitive, social and diverse club that welcomes players. Your team is notorious for pulling their pants down on stage. Tell us more. Ah yes, Rugger Bugger. It’s one of the many fund-raisers we do. Getting rugby boys on stage is one thing, getting them to dance and take their clothes off is another. I was part of last year’s performance and I can say it was great to see so many of the team get up on stage and perform to a wonderfully supportive crowd even if in the end we have to reveal all our bits. And yes, some girls are bigger than others! What is your grooming routine? I’m Brazilian and all Brazilians know the importance of moisturising. Our first childhood lesson from our mothers is how to lather our bodies in this liquid gold. We’re experts at it. As for my routine, it consists of an occasional scrub and cleanse, followed by a mild moisturiser and sun block. In the evening I use night creams for under my eyes, face and body. Take me into the post-game showers (I don’t mean literally, well actually, come to think of it, why not?) Is it as steamy as we all imagine? Does anyone ever drop the soap? Unfortunately (or fortunately), nothing happens, no matter where the soap may end up! After the game, the only thing that comes to mind is a cold beer! Which sportsman do you respect and admire? Ben Cohen and his foundation, Standup Against Bullying. Ben’s a great football player and a very, very sexy man. What would you say to someone that suggests gay men aren’t good at sport? I’d say, “don’t be ridiculous!” Gay men are no better or worse at sport than straight men. The perception exists partly because elite gay sports people often don’t come out. With little in the way of role models, talented gay youth often choose careers away from sport. Do you prefer hairy or smooth balls on a man? A light dusting of hair is always nice. Thanks, after that answer there goes my ball waxing business. Finally Fernando, I seriously need help with balls? I mean, can you teach me to catch a ball? Well, we can teach you how to catch a ball or balls. Rugby balls are quite big so it should be even easier for you to master. You’re always welcome (as everyone is) to come down and join us in our weekly training sessions. We train every Tuesday at 6:30pm in Rushcutter’s Bay Park and Thursday’s again at 6:30pm at Woollahra grounds in Rose Bay. Or pop down and support us at one of our weekly Saturday matches as part of the Sydney suburban competition. For more on how to join the rugby team or lend your support go to sydneyconvicts.org. For more about a gay sport team near you check out teamsydney.org.au or gaysports.net.au/ index.php DNA 91 PRODUCTS Sporting scents When I hear about the obligatory ‘sport’ issue of a popular fragrance I begin to hum the opening bars of ABBA’s Money, Money, Money. I try to remain openminded, but rarely does the reissued sporty fragrance come close to the original and I’m left thinking why did they bother? Recently, I asked my twitter followers what sport version of a wellliked fragrance actually hit the mark. There was an undeniable favourite: Chanel Allure Homme Sport. I asked my mate the Grooming Guru, Lee Kynaston, to share his thoughts on the matter. Interestingly, he agreed with my tweeps regarding Chanel. According to the Guru, “The word sport has now become synonymous with a fragrance that’s light or fresh, energising or invigorating – presumably because it sounds nice and masculine! It’s partly a marketing ploy to get you to buy more fragrance, but some offer an interesting twist on your favourite fragrance, so are worth checking out. A fragrance that exceeds the original is Chanel Allure Homme Sport – a sparklingly fresh and sexy variant that has actually managed to become a bit of a classic in its own right. No mean feat for a sport version! One that misses the mark is Dolce & Gabbana’s The One Sport, which is quite horrible. In fact, the only word I can think of to describe it is acrid. It’s a shame because The One is an excellent fragrance.” For more go to groomingguru.co.uk Grooming Keep it clean Sweat is a playground for bacteria, so for the man that wants to smell like a man, if the little gremlins under your arms aren’t kept under control, you’ll pong like week-old compost when you exercise. I’m not partial to highly-scented deodorants myself, so I recommend Nivea For Men Silver Protect Roll-On. The silver ions are highly active and fight against bacteria providing 48-hour antiperspirant protection, with very little fragrance. Quick tip: for real, long-term protection, use an anti-bacterial wash under your arms to kill the bacteria before using deodorants. The gym bag My last swish gym bag had 12 pockets and an in-built water fountain. However, after discovering a protein shake in a secret chamber that was so old it had become cheese, I knew it was time to streamline. The real challenge lay in finding a simple sports bag, but my search ended at American Apparel. These nifty tote style bags come in a great range of colours and there’s not a (where the F@%K are my keys) pocket in sight. For more go to store. americanapparel.com.au Repair from exercise Being active is good news for your health but over exercising can actually stress the body, creating aging free radicals. Tammy Farrell from Core Health Consulting suggests, “When you’re exercising make sure you’re consuming lots of antioxidant rich goodies such as white tea, kiwi fruit and vitamin C.” She assures me a good dose of antioxidants each day will help repair the body from exercise and keep you looking younger. For more go to corehealthconsulting.com.au 92 DNA The problem… Ingrown hairs and blemishes from waxing and shaving are causing your skin to look like a ‘Hello-DominoPizza-Super-Supreme’. The answer… The Anthony Logistics range rocks, especially the Ingrown Hair Treatment. It contains glycolic, salicylic and phytic acids to gently remove dead skin, fight bacteria and free the hair. The gel is easy to apply and is moisturising, not drying. Added willowherb and lavender soothe and calm the skin and help prevent unsightly bumps and lumps. For more go to kineticblue.com.au To make a booking with Will Fennell call Will and Peta on (02) 9388 0221 or go to willandpeta.com or willfennell.com.au