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What Does It Mean to Live Spiritually?
Openness
June 2015
North Shore Unitarian Church
370 Mathers Ave / West Vancouver, BC V7S 1H3
Website: northshoreunitarians.ca
Email: [email protected]
604-926-1621
A Note from Our Minister
The Confluence Lecture I recently delivered at the Canadian
Unitarian Council meeting is titled “Spirit: The Necessary Foundation
of Social Justice.” I know that sounds very dry and, in fact, as it is a
lecture cum sermon, it does have an academic ring to it here and
there, but it really contains a large part of the core message I have
to offer as a minister. A lot of this relates to the theme of Openness.
I believe life offers us value-added experiences beyond what we
expect: sometimes in shimmering moments of insight, sometimes in
the middle of doing nothing special. These may appear like a
discovery of the intellect, or a breakthrough of light. They are our
mystical moments, which are what the ‘direct experience of mystery
and wonder’ is, even if the mystery is suddenly explicable by an
inventive new proof. Every Unitarian has the capacity to be a
mystic simply by paying attention to these heightened experiences.
We need to be open to such moments, especially not to reflexively
divert them or explain them away; there is always more for each
of us to learn. It’s good for us to live in a state of openness to
discovery.
By being so, we may well become more open to the ways in which
our minds and feelings close down on ideas, sensations or people
that seem too strange at first. When we close down, we risk the
possibility of harming someone else, usually inadvertently.
Openness allows us time and space to notice what we do, to grow
and become more caring and empathic.
In the lecture, I look at some specific ways in which we can become
more open to each other, and argue that it’s vital that we do this:
vital to the point of working towards the survival and not just the
thriving of our communities. (You can pick up a printed version of
my Confluence Lecture from the sermon rack outside my office, or
email the Church Office for a digital copy. A audio file will soon
be available at www.cuc.ca). You have heard much of this material
over the years – especially in the last few months, though this piece
pulls together a few different threads that you know I think about
often.
There are other aspects of Openness as well. There’s the old adage
about when life closes a door, it opens a window. Sometimes that
needs to happen inside us: we come to a point where we need to
close something down; to give up; to settle. But in doing that, there’s
the real possibility of another option appearing. The Quakers will
say, “Way opens,” meaning that when we hold an intention in our
minds and hearts, and if it’s the right one for us, then things often
fall into place. What seemed hard becomes easy. Blocks turn into
redirection we need to grasp. This can only happen if we’re open.
I’m suddenly thinking of the state of mind that I can get in – and no
doubt will sound familiar – when I feel the top of my head is all
wrapped and bound; I mean my thinking of course, but it almost
feels physical sometimes. It often means I’m pushing on a pull door
or missing the right tree because I’m busy mowing down a forest.
Often, what I really need is to step back, breathe, and look again
with a fresh, more open mind. And there the answer often shines so
bright I can’t miss it.
It’s good to be open to the moment at such a time; to set aside a
plan that’s not working and play a bit with spontaneity. Get up and
jump around. Look at cat videos. Shake it all out so what’s there
ready to come can find its way in.
Openness challenges us the most when we’re faced with the
strange, the stranger, the alien or unfamiliar. Our world today is
riven with such encounters, both in real life and through the media
or the stories we hear from others. For instance, right now I want to
be open-minded about Islam and to listen to those who see it as a
rich path towards peace. But increasingly disparate Muslim voices
are presenting other ‘truths’ about it; calling for reform; soundly
critiquing its traditions and beliefs. Some are saying that the voices
of ISIL are telling the exact truth about Islam. It’s complicated,
frightening and confusing, but I want to stay open-minded without
being naïve.
One last thought about Openness is how it relates to vulnerability
and risk. To live with an open heart – ready both to offer and
receive – is to risk negative experiences as well as to reap positive
ones. We don’t all see vulnerability the same way.
Sometimes you see me as taking an enormous risk to tell you the
truth about something, when actually I’m quite used to doing that –
not to mention that I trust you. But it’s true that some blowback could
come from this. Often I see others as taking unbelievable risks that I
can barely imagine: choosing to love someone one more time
despite past hurt; welcoming the chaos of a new child into your
lives. Heck, even vacationing in Mexico, which to me seems a
hotbed of extortion and murder! We see risk differently.
There are risks that many of you take that I may never risk again,
though I hope I do. I’m taking some risks soon that many of you
would never take, but they seem like obvious and simple next steps
to me.
Maybe the lesson is that we can learn how to be vulnerable, and
open, and ready for whatever is to come simply by walking
alongside one another on all our paths.
Surely you’re open to that, and it doesn’t seem like a risk at all.
Service Descriptions
June 7th, 10:30 am: Opening Up
Speaker: The Rev. Stephen Atkinson / Coordinator: John Slattery
There are many senses of the word ‘open’ that have something to
add to our spiritual lives. We can be open like doors: allowing the
entry of new energy, thoughts, feelings, experiences and people.
We can be open about what’s inside us: disclosing our hopes,
dreams, fears and failures. We open up by clearing the way and
removing obstructions. Most of all, openness is vulnerability – the
one thing we need to share in order to make connections.
June 14th, 10:30 am: Last Words
Speaker: The Rev. Stephen Atkinson / Coordinator: Leslie Gibbons
Today I deliver my last sermon to you. I’m as curious as you might
be to find out what I’ll have to say.
June 21st, 10:30 am: Flower Communion & Farewell to Stephen
Coordinator: Vandy Savage
In celebration of the summer solstice, it’s our tradition at NSUC to
close our program year with a Flower Communion service, and to
express appreciation for the teachers and support staff in our
Children’s Program. This year’s service will be extra special, as we
are also sending off our beloved Rev. Stephen in a shower of love.
Please plan on staying afterwards for a special BBQ, at which we
will present Stephen with some parting gifts from the congregation.
June 28th, 10:30 am:
What Made Olga Run: Her Genes or Her God?
Speaker: Bruce Grierson / Coordinator: Sonya Wachowski
How big a role does spirituality play in longevity and healthy
aging? Bruce Grierson often describes Olga Kotelko as one of the
healthiest people he’s ever met - body, mind and soul. In a
variation of his TED talk at Penn State in April, Bruce Grierson,
social-science writer and author of What Makes Olga Run?,
explores that third dimension of the great masters track athlete.
What the research tells us about how belief and purpose elevate
performance and extend life.
Poems on Openness
“Aimless Love” ~ Billy Collins
This morning as I walked along the lakeshore,
I fell in love with a wren
and later in the day with a mouse
the cat had dropped under the dining room table.
In the shadows of an autumn evening,
I fell for a seamstress
still at her machine in the tailor’s window,
and later for a bowl of broth,
steam rising like smoke from a naval battle.
This is the best kind of love, I thought,
without recompense, without gifts,
or unkind words, without suspicion,
or silence on the telephone. …
http://www.gratefulness.org/poetry/aimless_love.htm
“Failing and Flying” ~ Jack Gilbert
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It's the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly. …
http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/failing-and-flying
“The Strange” ~ Noel Davis
It’s the feeling in-between
The breaking through and firming
Somewhere in the emerging
Stripped of game play
The new too fragile yet to stand assured
Wings stretched taut in readiness to fly
But not yet dry.
It’s an awkward, vulnerable way to be
When everything feels strange …
From a Unitarian Church of Dallas newsletter
“Evolution” ~ Eliza Griswold
Was it dissatisfaction or hope
that beckoned some of the monkeys
down from the trees and onto the damp
forbidden musk of the forest floor?
…
The moral is movement
is awkward. The lesson is fumble.
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=20
10/10/18
“Self-Portrait” ~ David Whyte
It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others. …
http://www.davidwhyte.com/english_self.html
“The Dance” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of
living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do
it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.
Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every
day.
Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your
heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong
without abandoning yourself when
you are hurt and afraid of being unloved. …
http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/pdf/the_dance_ex
cerpt.pdf
“Deliver us, O God, O Truth, O Love, from quiet prayer” ~
Regina Sara Ryan
Deliver us, O God, O Truth, O Love, from quiet prayer
from polite and politically correct language,
from appropriate gesture and form
and whatever else we think we must put forth to invoke
or to praise you.
Let us instead pray dangerouslywantonly, lustily, passionately.
let us demand with every ounce of our strength,
let us storm the gates of heaven, let us shake up ourselves
and our plaster saints from the sleep of years. …
http://poemsandtheirmusic.blogspot.ca/2009/10/dangero
us-prayers-by-regina-sara-ryan.html
“Be Mine” ~ Paul Hostovsky
I love mankind most
when no one's around.
On New Year's Day for instance,
when everything's closed
and I'm driving home on the highway alone
for hours in the narrating rain,
with no exact change,
the collector's booth glowing ahead
in the tumbling dark
like a little lit temple
with an angel inside and a radio…
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=20
10/12/30
“Six Billion People” ~ Tom Chandler
And all of you so beautiful
I want to bring you home with me
to sit close on the couch.
My invitation inserted in six billion bottles,
corked with bark from the final forest
and dropped in the ocean of my longing. …
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=20
08/11/30
“All the Hemispheres” ~ Hafiz
Leave the familiar for a while.
Let your senses and bodies stretch out
Like a welcomed season
Onto the meadows and shores and hills.
Open up to the Roof.
Make a new water-mark on your excitement
And love. …
http://www.techofheart.co/2011/04/all-hemispheres-andtwo-other-poems-of.html
“Jerusalem” ~ Naomi Shahib Nye
“Let’s be the same wound if we must bleed.
Let’s fight side by side, even if the enemy
is ourselves: I am yours, you are mine.”
—Tommy Olofsson, Sweden
I’m not interested in
who suffered the most.
I’m interested in
people getting over it.
Once when my father was a boy
a stone hit him on the head.
Hair would never grow there.
Our fingers found the tender spot
and its riddle: the boy who has fallen
stands up. A bucket of pears
in his mother’s doorway welcomes him home.
The pears are not crying.
Later his friend who threw the stone
says he was aiming at a bird. …
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/241002
Books on Openness
Fiction:
At Swim, Two Boys ~ Jamie O’Neill: lovers from different sides of a
town and a conflict; they just happen to be men living in Dublin
during the Troubles; truly, one of the most stunning books I’ve ever
read, gay or straight.
Great Expectations ~ Charles Dickens: virtually all the characters
open themselves up to the strange with good or ill intention
A Fine Balance ~ Rohinton Mistry: Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s ontheme, but somewhere in this deep novel it must be; another of the
most stunning books, full of human pain, love and connection
The Ghost Road ~ Pat Barker: third in her World War I trilogy and
a Man Booker Prize winner, it’s about a young man’s journey
through post-traumatic stress, recovery and the return to the front
Solar Storms ~ Linda Hogan: on recommendation from the Brussats,
an American Indian teen-ager seeks the way to her ancestral home
Non-fiction:
Heaven’s Coast ~ Mark Doty: a poet’s memoir of living through the
loss of his partner to AIDS while staying open and vulnerable
Behold Your Life ~ Macrina Wiederkehr: plumb the depth of
experience to become more open to what is happening to us.
Expect a Miracle ~ Dan Wakefield: if few of us experience
‘miracles’, at least we can read about others’ experiences that
“defy logic and the consensus view of reality.” Go ahead. Open
that mind!
The Future of the Self ~ Walter Truett Anderson: post-modern
psychology describes a ‘multiphrenic’ self, invested in relationships
and open to the new.
The Global Soul ~ Pico Iyler: multiculturalism, instant communication,
unprecedented migrations of people: a new world
Films About or Featuring Openness
Dances with Wolves ~ OK, I know what they say about ‘cultural
appropriation’ but recently I saw this film on a First Nations list of
great films; but maybe they’re too used to appropriation by now.
The Year of Living Dangerously ~ from my pov, a hidden gem of a
film: Sigourney Weaver and Mel Gibson in their younger years; a
story of Indonesian political intrigue in the age of Suharto; an
Oscar for Linda Hunt playing cross-gender – and fabulously
unusual music; I love this film.
In and Out ~ the fictionalized story behind Tom Hanks’ ‘outing’ of
his high school drama teacher at the Academy Awards; Kevin Kline
ends up with Tom Selleck and that isn’t the funny part.
Anna and the King ~ the original story of Anna Leonowens’ years in
Siam; later The King and I; did you know Anna ends up in Halifax,
co-founding the NS College of Art and Design and died in
Montreal?
Earth ~ directed by Canadian Deepa Mehta, set in India prior to
the partition; those of different religions get along until their city is
to be located in Muslim Pakistan; fear runs riot.
The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming ~ another
Canadian director, Norman Jewison, tackles the Cold War while it
was still happening: a Russian submarine accidently runs aground in
Massachusetts; a bit old-fashioned now, but still hilarious.
The Interpreter ~ a relatively unknown film, not great but
interesting, in which Nicole Kidman plays a UN interpreter getting
caught up in something nefarious, but sticks to her principles that
openness and cooperation will change the world.
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel ~ you’ve seen it once; now watch it
again to see the lessons it holds regarding opening to the world no
matter what age you are, or where you are.
Top Five ~ trust me, Chris Rock can act and write – seriously; this is
a wonderful story about fighting vulnerability, till your friends wake
you up.
Television on Openness
Community ~ I recommended this show for “Joy” also. It’s a
consistently highly-rated, kooky show about the variety of
characters attending a community college; well-known for its meta
quality, parodying other media and TV shows.
Lost ~ The title might actually have meant that you’ll get ‘lost’ in its
plot but it was gloriously unpredictable and mysterious with an
open ending like almost no other show before or since.
Northern Exposure ~ OK it’s twenty years old now (!!!) but
remember how fun it was to discover all the odd and wonderful
personalities in that Alaska town?
Perception ~ Canadian Erc McCormack (aka Will as of ‘and
Grace’) plays a schizophrenic neuroscientist. His hallucinations help
him assist the police in solving crimes.
Rectify ~ I’m sorry that I keep referring to shows that are obscure
but every one of them is worth finding, especially this Peabody
Award winner: a man found guilty of murder erroneously as a teenager is let out of prison after 19 years on death row because of
DNA evidence. He has to learn how to live again; faith and lack of
faith are part of the plot.
Saving Grace ~ Not a current show but a terrific one from a few
years ago. Holly Hunter plays an Oklahoma City cop traumatized
by the loss of her sister in the famous bombing there. She’s on her
way down till the most unlikely angel you’ll ever meet starts to turn
her around. (Remember this month is about open-mindedness.)
Star Trek: Voyager and Deep Space Nine ~ How can we live into the
reality of science in the future without an open mind and readiness
to deal with the unknown?
Touch ~ This show only lasted two seasons and I stopped watching
shortly into the second one, but: the first season was magical. No
doubt some streaming service is showing it. A dad has to follow his
autistic but gifted son wherever his boy takes him. It’s sort of about
synchronicity.
Web-sites on Openness
https://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=JE2SnNF960gC&oi
=fnd&pg=PA3&dq=openness+as+spiritual+quality&ots=0YXAky
79wr&sig=vA0326z6-osA1uldLyKIqdq_Xo#v=onepage&q=openness%20as%20spiritual
%20quality&f=false ~ How’s that for a url!? This is a link to a
specific article on Openness as a quality of adolescence and the
benefits of it for this age group from a variety of viewpoints
http://daatelyon.org/2015/01/spiritual-openness/ ~ a piece
about ‘spiritual openness’ from the Jewish mystical tradition of
Kabbalah
https://books.google.ca/books?id=37NyAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA111
&lpg=PA111&dq=openness+as+spiritual+quality&source=bl&ots
=aTQRm_vD2u&sig=P77kJkhv4VLT_wUPE18oqipe_T8&hl=en&sa
=X&ei=FHFmVYOZEo6uogSo4oCIDg&ved=0CDgQ6AEwBQ#v=o
nepage&q=openness%20as%20spiritual%20quality&f=false ~
OK, these Google Book links are enormous; I hope they work. This
one looks at Openness as an important aspect of the “Spiritual
Dimension of Leadership”
https://anthonyuu.wordpress.com/2010/11/27/a-spirituality-ofopenness/ ~ a Unitarian minister in Atlanta with whom I’m
acquainted writes this on his blog “Soul Seeds”
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/what-connects-us-vulnerability
~ a differently abled psychotherapist exposes his own struggle
with vulnerability
For Families on Openness
The foyer table will display some of our children’s library books on
Openness.
Books you may find elsewhere:
 We Share One World ~ Jane E. Hoffelt & Marty Husted
 Whose Shoes ~ Steven R. Swinburne
 Day & Night ~ Teddy Newton
 The Monster at the End of This Book ~ Jon Stone
 The Frog Prince, Continued ~ Jon Scieszka, Steve Johnson
And for teens:
 Crazy Beautiful ~ Lauren Baratz-Logsted
 Every You, Every Me ~ David Levithan
Films/television on Openness for families:
 Freaky Friday
 Mulan
 Beauty and the Beast
 The Croods
 Up
 Finding Nemo
 Shrek
 Babe: Pig in the City
For activities, at the family meal you most often eat together
consider asking each person whether they learned something new.
Extra points if it made you see something differently from before.
Help each other set goals to do something you’re afraid to do
during the month and then to do them.
Share stories of speaking with someone you didn’t know, and
thought maybe you wouldn’t even like. Extra points if their mother
tongue isn’t the same as yours.
Invite a new friend or family or neighbours to come to dinner or a
BBQ or play date.
Go on a ‘random drive’. Pick a number; then a direction; then drive
wherever that takes you, e.g., every 5th left turn. Or let each person
in the car choose the next number and direction. If you can, start in
a new neighbourhood or even out of town.
Spiritual Practice on Openness
Pick one day or half a day in the coming month when you’ll make
no predetermined decisions about what to do. Just start the day
and see where it leads. Don’t include chores or errands unless they
take you someplace unfamiliar, mentally or geographically.
Those who always live this way create a schedule of things you
never do, and then stick to that. Either way, it’s a new experience.
Take time to sit in a public park – no book, no sunglasses, no
barriers against seeing what might happen or who might speak to
you or who you might want to speak with.
If no conversation arises, pick the most unusual person you see and
imagine walking in their shoes. What can you tell about how they’re
feeling? What they’re looking for? Figure out a story of what
they’re doing there at that time based on what you observe.
Seek out and watch or listen to a documentary on some subject that
you don’t believe in. On Tapestry on May 24th, one interview was
with an atheist who needed a 12 Step program for her food
addiction – and she talks about what happened when she opened
her mind to a ‘power greater than herself.’ Right this moment: how
does even reading that make you feel? That’s where you need to
let yourself go. (She doesn’t go where you might expect, whatever
you expect, and I have no hidden agenda in recommending this
particular piece.)
If you can’t make it to the Spirit Writers Circle this month, take ten
minutes for free-form writing. Let your hand move the pen; don’t
stop; no grammar. Pretend you’re James Joyce!
Join us on June 8th at 1:30 pm in the Fireside Room
or at 7pm in RS 304. We’ll write about “Gratitude”.