Bloom Jan - Apr 2011 Touching your mind, body and spirit | W O M E N ’ S H E A LT H N E W S L E T T E R Self Forgiveness: Setting yourself free Inside By Elizabeth Miles, MSc, RPsych Winterproofing your skin By Irene M. Jackson, MN, RN It’s not always easy to let go of the past. “ your teen wants to become vegetarian When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. Sometimes it can be difficult to forgive yourself for bad decisions, foolish mistakes or hurtful things you said or did. Regret about the past is normal and the guilt or remorse you feel over bad behavior is appropriate – if it helps you learn - Bernard Meltzer about your values, realize what kind of person you want to be, and instructs you on how to behave better in the future. But, sometimes the punishment doesn’t fit the crime and you carry the burden of guilt far too long. Refusing to forgive Have patience with all yourself for the past, you remain locked in the past. things, but, first of “ all have patience with yourself. - Saint Francis de Sales By Dawn Peacock, BSc RD Divorce & Financial Wellness By Wendy Olson-Brodeur, FDS, CFP, CSC, Mediator Why Self Forgiveness? Constant self recrimination is unhealthy since it focuses on punishment instead of growth. It may leave you feeling demoralized and unworthy causing you to be unable to move on or learn from your mistakes. It may be difficult for you to forgive others if you can’t forgive yourself; it’s difficult to feel compassion if you don’t have it for yourself. The bitterness that results may eat at you, stopping you from achieving peace of mind and possibly impacting your physical health. continued on page 2 Check out our website at www.womenshe althcent re.ca “Forgive” continued from page 1 How to forgive yourself: 1. Challenge your beliefs about forgiveness: Do you believe that hanging on to guilt somehow makes up for things or makes you a better person? Do you feel that forgiveness is merely excusing responsibility or that it means what happened isn’t important? Does forgiveness give someone permission to keep behaving badly? Do you believe that you can’t forgive yourself unless the person you hurt forgives you first? 2. Assess where your guilt comes from: What “rules” did you break – were they fair and reasonable? Does it require that you feel responsible for things you can’t control or couldn’t know? Does it insist on perfection or that you live up to other’s expectations? 3. Take responsibility for what you do wrong and how it affects you and others. Fully face the consequences of your behavior. DON’T take responsibility for what others did or things beyond your control. 4. Ask yourself “Why?” Did you act out of fear or defensiveness? Did you lack information or were you tired and frustrated? This isn’t to excuse your actions but allows for compassion for yourself – even in the face of failures, frailties and fears. Look hard at your motivations and weaknesses. 5. Confession: Acknowledge and apologize to the one you injured; take responsibility for your share of what happened. If that isn’t possible or appropriate, tell someone: a trusted friend, a counselor or in a prayer. 6. Amendment: Make amends or reparation if possible. If you can’t repair the damage directly, make symbolic gestures like helping someone, donating to charity, doing random acts of kindness. 7. Look to the good: Look at what you learned – what good may have come from the situation or the good in you. 8. Make a commitment to change: Look at how you may need to change your behavior, what you need to learn, and commit to “taking the high road” from now on. 9. Use compassionate self talk. Positive change rarely comes from negativity and recrimination. So, to do good in the world, you may need to learn to talk to yourself with compassion. Make sure that your “inner critic” isn’t abusing you. Say “stop” to blaming, criticism or “shoulds” and replace them with accepting and forgiving self-talk like “I accept that I am human and will make mistakes.” Or “I forgive myself for my weaknesses and mistakes that are part of being human.” You can repeat mantras (part affirmation, part prayer) like “May I live with forgiveness. May I find peace.” 10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you can’t let go of something you’ve said or done, seek help from a therapist, a spiritual counselor, a wise friend, or your Higher Power. The journey through self-forgiveness is a process, not an event. It takes time but also takes effort and insight. Try to stop your mind from mentally replaying the events and hurts of the past and look for ways to amend, grow, and move forward. Remember: self-forgiveness is excusing hurtful behavior and also recognizes that part of being human is making mistakes. You can give yourself permission to make peace with the past and move forward. Jan / Feb • Bloom page 2 skin Winter-proofing your By Irene M. Jackson, MN, RN Brrr! It’s that time of year when we go between freezing our nostril hairs to cuddling in front of toasty fireplaces or being warmed by our home’s central heating. S ome will hibernate; others embrace winter and enjoy outdoor fun. Whichever you are, your skin needs extra TLC when temperatures drop. Living at this altitude and with low humidity, our skin can feel dry, tight and itchy. Sometimes it’s mild – just one part of the body like the hands; other times it’s an all over sensation. During the winter, the elements and our winter living conditions can strip skin of natural moisture. When skin becomes dry, the fats that help prevent water loss are lost and cells don’t stick together causing that flaky, dusty look often seen on hands, shins and forearms. Dry skin also adds to fine lines and wrinkles and the deep, painful cracks often found on heels and fingers. You may feel your skin tighten after washing and it may look rough and itch. The itch comes from inflammation caused by the breakdown of the normal skin barrier. Jan / Feb • Bloom page 3 There are a number of home remedies and lifestyle changes that can help keep your skin soft and supple over the winter. 1.Moisturize from the inside by drinking plenty of water or herb teas. Caffeine and alcohol are diuretics taking fluids from the body. Check your diet. Increasing the amount of essential fatty acids (Omega 3 Fatty Acids in particular) found in cold water fish, nuts, seeds and vegetable oils help keep skin lubricated from the inside. 2.Moisturize your skin forming a protective layer over the skin to stop the evaporation that occurs naturally but increases with low humidity, sun and central heating. Use creams rather than lotions as they are thicker and provide better protection. Apply moisturizers right after your bath or shower when your skin is still moist. If your skin is very dry, apply baby oil or a thin coat of Vaseline as they stays on the body longer than moisturizers. 3.Reduce the use of sloughing agents like alphahydroxy acids (found in skin cleansing pads and acne creams) as they add to the drying and irritation of your skin. Consider changing your facial moisturizer to one that is oil-free as it won’t plug pores. 4.Remember to use sun screen to protect skin from sun damage. If you ski or hike, use creams with increased SPF as snow reflects more ultraviolet rays. And, don’t forget to protect your lips with a sun protecting lip balm. 5.Reduce bathing time. If you like long or hot showers or baths, reduce the time and the temperature as both remove natural skin oils. It’s also a good idea to change your bath products. Soaps tend to have a drying effect as they are meant to remove oils and dirt; antibacterial soaps are particularly drying. Changing to cleansing creams or shower gels with moisturizers may help. If you prefer soap, find one that has added oils and fats. 6.Check that you have humidity in your home either through a built-in humidifier or one that is free standing. Many furnaces have humidifiers with attached guides to set humidity based on outdoor temperature. Humidified air helps your skin retain moisture. 7.Remember to wear gloves and a hat when out to protect exposed skin; wear sunglasses to protect your eyes. Choose materials that are kind to your skin and allow it to breathe e.g. cotton and silk. Wool next to the skin will often add to the irritation that dryness causes. Dress in layers as dry skin symptoms worsen with sweating and overheating. If you’re doing all you can and the dry skin isn’t improving or is getting worse, see your doctor. There are many medical conditions that cause dry skin that require special treatment. Sources: www.mayoclinic.com/health/dry-skin www.mayoclinic.com/health/skin-care www.skincarephysicicans.com Giving Back to the Community – Women Helping Women – Having Fun The Canadian Progress Club Calgary Wild Rose ladies chapter is currently recruiting new members to join us in our journey in giving back through both fun-raising efforts and getting out in the community to help others less fortunate. We are the only 100% Canadian service organization in Canada. Our mandate: “A vibrant group of women building friendships and joining forces to inspire positive change in the lives of individuals within our community.” Please visit our website at: www.calgarywildroseprogressclub.ca If you are interested in getting involved, please contact: [email protected] Jan / Feb • Bloom page 4 What do you do when your teen wants to become vegetarian? by Dawn Peacock, BSc, RD C ommunication is key in understanding your teen’s choice to become vegetarian. The reasons teens choose to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle vary from concerns about animal rights and the environment to a desire to be healthier. Respect the choice but ensure the understanding that becoming vegetarian involves more than simply not eating meat. Being vegetarian requires a clear effort to ensure needed nutrients and vitamins are eaten. Speaking to your teen about the choice will ensure your teen is choosing a vegetarian diet for the right reasons and not in an attempt to lose weight. While it’s not always the case, it’s important to note that adolescents with eating disorders may become vegetarian as a way to restrict eating. If you need more information about identifying an eating disorder or where to get help, talk to a health professional or go to www.nedic.ca. Think Nutrition When meat and other animal products are limited or avoided there is a risk of missing the nutrients commonly found in these foods. Infants, children, adolescents, pregnant and breastfeeding women and adults over 50, who follow a vegetarian diet, are at greater risk of nutritional deficiencies. This risk changes depending on the type of vegetarian diet adopted. Vegetarian Diet Vegetarian Diet Foods Eaten Foods Not Eaten Lacto-ovo-vegetarian Grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruit, milk products, eggs Meat, poultry, fish, seafood Grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruit, milk products Meat, poultry, fish, seafood, eggs Grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruit Meat, poultry, fish, seafood, eggs, milk products, honey, animal by-products (such as gelatin, bouillon cubes) Lacto-vegetarian Vegan Source: Eating Vegetarian, Nutrition and Active Living – Calgary Health Region (2008/09) Vegan, the most restrictive form, will offer the highest risk of nutritional deficiency and supplements are often required. The nutrients most likely missed include protein, iron, calcium, vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega-3 fatty acids and zinc. Make sure your teen includes adequate daily sources of these nutrients in meals and snacks. Iron* • • • • • • • * • • • • • • • • • • • • soy foods (soybeans, tofu, tempeh) legumes (beans, peas, lentils) nuts and seeds (almonds, cashews, pecans, pine nuts and pumpkin seeds) milk products (milk, cheese, yogurt) eggs milk products (milk, cheese, yogurt) calcium-fortified orange juice calcium-fortified soy beverage calcium-set tofu soybeans almonds, sesame seeds, tahini dark green, leafy vegetables (bok choy, collard greens, kale, turnip greens) vegetarian wieners and patties Vitamin B12 • • • fortified soy foods (fortified soy beverage, fortified veggie patties and wieners) nutritional yeast (fortified with vitamin B12) milk products (milk, cheese, yogurt) egg yolk Vitamin D • • • • fortified milk fortified soy beverage fortified margarine egg yolk Omega-3 fatty acids • Protein • To increase the amount of iron absorbed by the body, combine iron-rich foods with foods containing vitamin C. Sources of vitamin C: oranges, grapefruit, most berries, melons, kiwi, pineapple, mango, papaya, tomatoes, broccoli, red and green peppers, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and potatoes cooked in their skins. Calcium • Vegetarian Food Sources of Key Nutrients: soy foods (soybeans, tofu, tempeh) legumes (beans, peas, lentils) nuts and seeds (almonds, cashews, pecans, pine nuts and pumpkin seeds) fortified grain products (bread, cereal, pasta) raisins, prunes, figs, dried apricots blackstrap molasses spinach • • • • • oils made from flaxseed, hemp, canola, soybean and walnuts; products made from these oils (examples, non-hydrogenated margarine, salad dressing) ground flaxseeds hemp seeds soybeans walnuts omega-3 fatty acid enriched eggs continued on page 6 Jan / Feb • Bloom page 5 DID YOU KNOW? Divorce & Financial Wellness By Wendy Olson-Brodeur, FDS, CFP, CSC, Mediator D “ 50% today doesn’t mean you’ll have 50% tomorrow. id you know that just because your divorce settlement gives you 50% today doesn’t mean you’ll have 50% tomorrow? If you’re considering separation or divorce or are in the midst of the divorce process, it’s important that you get educated. The division of assets can often lead to an unsatisfying and questionable outcome; however, it doesn’t have to be that. You can minimize any nagging doubts by knowing what the division of your assets looks like before you sign anything. First, make sure of the most important thing – YOU. You aren’t good for yourself or anyone else if you aren’t looked after – that is, if your well-being isn’t taken into account or is left by the wayside. Be sure that you’re in a safe and healthy environment and, if you have children, that they, too, are taken care of and protected. Many find themselves under a great deal of emotional duress not knowing where to start when facing the daunting task of asset division. During the stress of the divorce process, while you are unable to think clearly about the present let alone your future, you are forced to make financial decisions that will impact your life and the lives of your family for years to come. If you don’t have a good base of financial knowledge, this can present even more stress. Save yourself time and money by gathering as many documents as you can that record your assets and liabilities. You can seek professional assistance preparing Net Worth Statements, Income and Expense Statements, and budgets as an unbiased, knowledgeable perspective will ensure nothing is overlooked. Know your financial status to reduce stress and build confidence safeguarding the future of you and your family. Are you interested in learning more about this topic? Call 403.944.2260 to register for “Divorce Planning: Before, During, After”. Please visit www.tfds.ca for more information or call Wendy 403-398-2466. Zinc • • • • • • legumes (beans, peas, lentils) nuts and seeds (almonds, cashews, pecans, pine nuts and pumpkin seeds) breads, grains and cereals (enriched bran flakes, wheat germ) soy foods (soybeans, tofu, tempeh) milk products (milk, cheese, yogurt) eggs If your teen does decide to become vegetarian, think of this as an opportunity to explore healthy eating together. Learn how to guide vegetarian food choices and avoid common pitfalls. You may want to consult with a dietitian who can offer menu planning ideas and tips to ensure your teen meets all nutrient needs. Source: Eating Vegetarian, Nutrition and Active Living – Calgary Health Region (2008/09) Resources: The Vegetarian Resource Group www.vrg.org/nutrition/teennutrition.html A vegetarian diet can be very healthy as long as it includes a variety of healthy foods and meets all nutrient needs. In fact, vegetarian teenagers typically consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer sweets, fast foods and salty snacks than non-vegetarians and have higher intake of certain vitamins and minerals. Becoming Vegetarian by Vesanto Melina RD and Brenda Davis RD, Macmillan Canada, 2003. A New Food Guide for North American Vegetarians (Dietitians of Canada 2003) Position of the American Dietetic Association and Dietitians of Canada: Vegetarian Diets (Dietitians of Canada 2003) STAFF Women’s Health Resources Connie Burkart, RN, MCE Manager, FMC Women’s Outpatient Programs Pam Mangold, RN, MN Unit Manager, FMC Women’s Outpatient Programs Gisela Mullan, DipN, BCR, MEd Program Coordinator Elizabeth Miles, MSc Registered Psychologist Karen Flint, MEd Registered Psychologist Ranjit Uppal, RN, MN Clinical Nurse Specialist Dawn Peacock, RD Registered Dietician Sharon Christie, MSW, RSW Outreach Coordinator Linda Louie Secretary Sandra Haeckel Registration Clerk Julie Alati-it, BA (Hons) Information Specialist Design Humd!nger Communications Printing Sundog Printing Mailing The DATA Group of Companies We are open Monday to Friday from 8am to 4 pm Library Hours Monday to Thursday 8am to 8pm Friday 8am to 4pm Office location Room 185, 1441-29th St. N.W. Calgary, AB T2N 4J8 Ph: (403) 944-2270 / Fax: (403) 944-2271 www.womenshealthcentre.ca Bloom (©2011 Alberta Health Services FMC Women’s Outpatient Programs) is published three times per year. All rights reserved. Please credit Women’s Health Resources Bloom Newsletter when duplicating articles. Women’s Health Resources is a health promotion program of Alberta Health Services. We provide information services, health and well-being education and individual consultation with an interdisciplinary team of women’s health consultants. Women’s Health Resources does not support, endorse or recommend any method, treatment, product, remedial center, program or person. We do however, endeavour to inform because we believe in the right to have access to available information in order to make informed individual choices. Acceptance of support from sponsors does not constitute official endorsement of donors or their products. Jan / Feb • Bloom page 6
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