How to get Married in Italy
In Seventeen Easy Steps
A Love Story
By Al Guarino
This is the tale of My beautiful new bride, Julie Hassel’s, and my whirlwind journey to
get married in one of the most romantic (and bureaucratic) countries in all the world—Italy. I
should point out at the start that the secret to fulfilling your dream of experiencing an Italian
wedding is to secure the assistance of a good coordinator. After several blind stabs through the
internet, we connected with a superb coordinator through the concierge desk of the Sofitel Hotel
in Rome. Julie and I got off to a good start with the hotel when, while booking our reservation,
we mentioned that our good friend Valentino Balboni , Lamborghini chief test driver, might visit
us for a night. When we asked if the manager had heard of him, he elegantly responded
“Madam, everyone in Italy knows of Valentino Balboni.” The concierge desk of the hotel
introduced me to Ms. Laura Colavalle, the owner operator of ChocoEvents and Travels1. Laura
was a goddess in taking care of the details of our wedding and we would not have succeeded
without her. Several friends and coordinators said we simply could not get married in Italy in
August with only four days to take care of the paperwork sandwiched around a 10 day cruise, but
Laura made it happen. 2
But I get ahead of myself. Julie’s and my
journey towards our August Italian Wedding
started on the 4th of July, 2009, when Julie
accepted my proposal of marriage while on
board the USS Port Royale under the Pearl
Harbor fireworks display. Julie and I are both
widowed, and we both have two children from
our prior marriages. After thinking of the
1
The happy family the night after the wedding,
August 19, 2009
ChocoWeddings, Piazza Principe Umberto, 6/a, 06089 Torgiano (PG), Italy, Ph + 39 0757922736, Fax +39
0757922737, Mobile +39 339.6553588, www.chocoweddings.com, e-mails: [email protected] &
[email protected], Skype: chocoevents.travels
2
No endorsement of the FOISOH is to be inferred or implied by this article. You should consult with your own
professionals in making your plans, however if you don’t call Laura first you will regret it.
guest list involved with having a marriage ceremony in Hawaii, we decided our best option to
bring our two families together would be to get married while taking our new family on a
European vacation. We looked at various vacation options, and ultimately decided being
married while on a Western Mediterranean cruise was our best option. We shopped on-line, did
our homework, looked at the marriage ceremony options advertised by the various cruise lines,
and made our travel reservations. We were able to parlay this disconnect with the cruise line into
a nice on-board upgrade to a penthouse suite for our cruise. Your humble writer, however, was
left to unravel the intricacies of the Italian marriage ceremony without the assistance of our
cruise line. I thought to myself, “no problem for an international lawyer like myself—I’ll be able
to figure it out.” That was my first mistake. After much trial and error, here are my 17 simple
steps to getting married in Italy.
Step 1: Understand the procedure. First, I will give credit to FOISOH member
Carmen DiAmore-Siah who introduced me to the Italian Consular Office in San Francisco. Mr.
Aldo Mura (e-mail: [email protected], Phone: (415) 292-9215) was very helpful in
deciphering the Italian marriage process. The US Embassy in Rome also has information
regarding the process at: http://italy.usembassy.gov/acs/marriage/marriage-rome.asp . In order
to get married in Italy, you will need to complete (1) an Atto Notario, or sworn statement
certifying you are free to be married (which may be completed by the Italian Consular Office, or
at any Tribunale Ordinario in Italy); (2) a Nula Osta, or “there are no impediments” which also
certifies you are free to be married (which is completed via the US consular office in Italy), and
take them to a Ufficio Matrimoni , or Marriage Office for (3) an appointment for making your
Promessa di Matrimonio, or Declaration of Intent to Marry, certifying that you really want to get
married, and (4) another appointment for the actual marriage ceremony, where you’ll finally be
married. It sounds easy, right? Read on.
Step 2: Get your required documents. As American citizens wishing to be married in
Italy, each of you will need to have your passports, birth certificates, proof of termination of
previous marriage. Also, if you will be married in the Roman Catholic Church, bring baptismal
and confirmation certificates.
Step 3: Obtain apostles for your required documents. Getting your documents may
sound easy, but there is the wrinkle. Italy will not recognize governments documents prepared
out of Country unless the documents are accompanied by a Hague Certification, or apostille,
issued by the Secretary of State for the State that issued the document. This means that, rather
than going to your files and pulling out a copy of your birth certificate, you need to contact the
state in which you were born and obtain a certified true copy of the document from the records
department, have the copy stamped as a “certified true copy” by the Dept. of Records, and then
have your state’s Secretary of State issue an appostile for the document. In Hawaii, the Lt Gov
serves as the Secretary of State for issuing the apostille.
Step 4: Get all documents translated by a certified translator. Of course, many
FOISOH members could do a fine job translating simple documents such as a birth certificate
into Italian, however this is the government and the translation must be certified by an Italian
Consular Officer. Aldo Mura in the San Francisco Consular office can perform this certification
service for you.
Step 5: Remember your proof of termination of prior marriage. As with your birth
certificates, you must have a “certified true copy” of your documents prepared by the issuing
state authority, accompanied by an appostile, and a translation certified by the Consular Office.
Not all of the guidance regarding getting married in Italy includes this crucial piece of
information, and this can lead to difficulties. If your documents are in the possession of the State
of Hawaii, be prepared for very frustrating delays in obtaining your documents. In my case, I
found myself picking up the appostile from the Hawaii LG office the day of our flight for Rome.
Step 6: Avoid August. Apparently everyone in Italy (or in all of Europe, for that
matter), goes to the beach in August. The only people left in Rome are sweaty tourists, numbly
standing in line at St Peter’s Cathedral in Vatican City of trudging from site to site in the Eternal
City with a blank stare on their faces and water bottles in their hands as they struggle through the
100 degree heat. No government offices are open (or so it seems), and getting anything done is
twice as challenging. We had many people tell us that getting married in Rome in August was
impossible. However Laura Colavalle was a champion coordinator and was able to find open
offices to assist us through the journey.
Step 6: Begin your travels, and Pray, Pray, Pray. After hustling through the various
offices to obtain your documents (and your atto notorio if you traveled to an Italian consulate
before your trip to Europe), you can sit back, relax, and enjoy your 21 hour flight to Rome.
Julie and I filled our time wondering if our family members traveling from Honolulu, Seattle and
Cambodia via Tokyo, Chicago and Dulles would all arrive on time and how we would be able to
get to the Italian courthouse, the US Embassy, the tax office, and the cruise ship in the 8 hours
we had between landing in Leonardo da Vinci airport at 8:00 am and getting to the port for our
cruise departure at 4:00 p.m. My recommendation is to have a glass of Champaign, and
remember to ask for the blessings of the patron saint of annoying government processes to be
with you as you complete your journey.
Step 7: Get your witnesses together.
In order to complete your Atto Notorio, either
in an Italian Consulate office in the United
States or in a courthouse in Italy, you will need
to have two witnesses, unrelated to you, who
can attest that the information you have
provided is true and that you are, indeed, free
to be married. Unfortunately for us, we did not
have any friends in Rome who were not related
to us to attest. But, no problem—Laura came
The happy couple, Laura, and our new best friends
through and we met our new best friends, Francesco Licenziato and Chiara Licenziato, who were
Laura’s husband and sister-in-law, on the steps of the Italian court house and they happily swore
we were free to be wed (at least, as far as they knew).
Step 8: Go to the Tribunale Ordinario. Of course, nothing in Italy in August is easy,
but here again, working with a point of contact who knows every trick is the key. Laura was
able to find the one court house in all of the entire province of Rome that was open on a Friday
in August. The court house was located in the village of Albano Laziale. We bolted through the
airport to get into a car for the journey once we landed. Amazingly, our four children, grandma,
and sister Tina all had arrived from their various locations on time. We agreed they would
proceed to the cruise ship and we hoped to meet them there after our office visits. We told them
we would meet them in Livorno if we missed the sail time from Civitavecchia. Time was very
tight, and only became tighter when I realized I had the kid’s cruise luggage tags in my folder. I
raced back to give the tags to one of the kids and am lucky Julie didn’t leave for the courthouse
without me. Our driver was an ace, and we arrived in Albano via every obscure, twisting road
imaginable in no time.
Once at the Court house, we met Laura and our new best friends, and made our way up a
never-ending ramp to the fourth floor of the government building to the Tribunale Ordinario.
There we waited while a young woman with purple hair smacked her gum and went through the
process of stamping and filing innumerable
pieces of paper for the one customer ahead of
us in line. Twenty minutes later it was our turn
and the purple haired girl looked with wonder
as Laura laid out our paperwork in front of her.
We took our chances and snuck this picture of
the process despite the strict “No Photographs”
policy in effect. Twenty minutes later, we left
the Albano court house with a completed atto notorio and our new best friends, and were
rocketing through the twisting roads of the Roman province on our way to the U.S. Embassy.
Step 9: Go to the US Consulate Office. According to the US Embassy web site, their
consular office is only open to process the nulla osta from 1:30-3:30, on Tuesdays and
Thursdays. Of course, we were there on a Friday, were sailing in three short hours, and planned
to be in Barcelona on the following Tuesday. Thankfully I had a friend in the Embassy from my
Air Force days, and the Consular staff had a romantic heart. They were happy to extend hours
to allow Julie and I come in for a special appointment. We passed the armed Carabinieri and
were buzzed through three separate doors to reach the empty forms room to complete the
application. Somewhere along this journey I realized this Nulla osta, certified the same thing as
the atto notario—that Julie and I were free to be married. How many times would we need to
collect signatures and pay for revenue stamps to certify the same thing? Unfortunately, while
pondering this, I made three separate mistakes in filling out my information and had to start over
each time (no cross outs allowed). I blame the roughly 36 hours without sleep by this time, but
Julie is sure it was nerves.
Step 10: Go to the tax office for your revenue stamps (marche da bollo). This was a
step that Laura took care of for us. I wanted to see the office where she bought the marche da
bollo, but we could nearly hear the ship’s horn blowing in Civitavecchia from the consular office
in Rome, so we dove into our car and made our way to the ship.
Step 11: Go on a relaxing 10 day Mediterranean Cruise (Optional). We bid Laura
farewell as we left the atto notorio, nulla osta and planning with her. Our cruise was wonderful.
Our driver made good time, and after trying to drop us off at the wrong ship (it’s amazing how
many cruise ships they can squeeze into a port) we made it to the ship with at least 10 minutes to
spare. We rocketed through the cavernous, empty passenger processing tent, drank or
complimentary fruit punch, collected our boarding passes, and were on our way. We sailed
through Livorno, Monte Carlo, Barcelona, Palma di Majorca, Tunisia, Palermo, Naples and back
to Civitavecchia. It was a wonderful cruise with many stories that will wait for another time.
Step 12: Schedule your appointments with the wedding hall. While we were
cruising, Laura was working her magic and scheduled our next appointments for us. During the
period following completion of the Nulla osta and atto notorio and holding the Promessa di
Matrimonio and wedding ceremony, Italian law calls for an announcement of the scheduled
wedding to be published in the city hall for two consecutive Sundays prior to the wedding.
Thankfully, since neither Julie or I are Italian citizens, this requirement was waived in our case.
If it’s not waived for you, I recommend a 20 day cruise.
Step 13: Go to your appointment to give your Promessa di Matrimoni. We returned
to Rome on a Monday, and Tuesday we were back on the road. This time, we were driving to
the seaside town of Santa Marinella, which had the only open wedding hall within 100 miles of
Rome. Laura met us at the city hall and we walked through the seemingly 400 year old hall way
to sit in a nice private office where Julie and I were asked in a multitude of different ways if we
understood that we were going to be married, and the gravity of our decision. Each question was
translated for us and each of our answers were translated for the city official. After 30 minutes,
we were on our way back to Rome for an afternoon of site seeing.
Step 14: Go to your wedding ceremony.
Our ceremony was presided over by the mayor
of Santa Marinella, The Honorable Rosalia
Giuliani. She was a vibrant woman who was
very serious in ensuring we understood the
legal and moral union we were entering into.
She also looked great in her official colors and
sun dress.
The happy couple with her honor, the Mayor
We were married in a beautiful seaside villa by
the pier and pleasure boat harbor. Our four
children, grandma, sister Tina, our two new
best friends from the atto notario signing were
present, while Laura translated. The breeze
was gentle from the ocean, and the high-ceiling
villa was cool despite the August sun outside.
Santa Marinella
It was a beautiful ceremony.
Step 15: Hold your religious ceremony.
Being married in the eyes of the Italian
government is a wonderful thing, but many of us
wish to celebrate our marriage in the eyes of
God, with a religious wedding ceremony. Julie
and I decided to celebrate our vows in a small
ceremony on the veranda of our hotel. As a side
note, the hotel was wonderful in supporting us in
celebrating our marriage. We received
Sofitel Hotel Hospitality
complementary Champaign, a fruit plate, our own Roman Holiday post card greeting from the
management, and were generally treated as royalty.
Step 16: Receive your marriage license. Just as with our official documents in the
United States being brought to Italy, we must have an appostile certificate for our wedding
certificate and have an official translation of the document to show we are legally married. The
good news is that Hawaii state law recognizes lawful marriages conducted outside the United
States as legally binding in this country and there is no additional steps to take to recognize the
marriage locally. We finally received our marriage certificate, with appostile, a month after the
wedding ceremony.
Step 17: Congratulazioni —You’re married! Live a happy life together knowing that
if you can survive the Italian bureaucracy and intricacies of you can survive the trials of
matrimony.